Hey everyone! I’ve been setting goals for myself, whether it's for fitness, personal development, or work, but I’ve been struggling to stay consistent. I’ll start strong, but then life gets busy, or I hit a roadblock, and I lose my motivation.

I’m looking for strategies or routines that have helped you stay motivated long-term. How do you keep yourself on track when you’re not feeling up to it? Do you have any specific habits, tools, or mindset shifts that help you push through those low-motivation days? I’d really appreciate any advice to help me stay consistent and focused

The reason I seem to avoid doing the work is not only because I'm confused lazy and procrastinate but also there is fear anxiety involved and worse part of all is im avoiding the realization of my feelings. You know how you feel sometimes like you're life is messed up but you just keep suppressing that feeling because you want to avoid how it makes you feel. And you just keep doing this more and more, but deep down it just eats you up. You feel emotionally tensed mentally overwhelmed.

Like I wanted to go back to college because I just have not been taking classes 2 yrs now. So whenever I think about fixing this situation,I seem to suppress that feeling of doing it. I know I'm gonna feel bad and get all sorts of mixed emotions. And my thoughts will bring me down.

In the quest for personal growth, the allure of self-help books is undeniable. But are they truly effective, or is there a better path to self-improvement?

To start unpacking this, let’s start by outlining a broad process by which genuine – sustainable – personal growth occurs:

• Feeling a degree of discontentment

• Choosing to take action on pursuing change

• Exposure to new content (e.g. self-help book)

• New content needs to be accepted

• New content needs to be congruent with existing belief & value system

• New content must avoid triggering pre-existing limiting beliefs

• Any issues arising thus far are resolved

• New content translates through to new skills / beliefs driving new behaviours

• New behaviours are accepted in person’s environment

• New behaviours achieve positive outcomes without triggering unintended / undesirable outcomes.

• New behaviours become normalised

So, where the advice acknowledges this growth process and guides you through each step there is a reasonable chance of enjoying some beneficial changes.

Not all self-help books are created equal. Beware of titles promising quick & easy fixes and one-size-fits-all solutions. So many self-help books fall in to low value categories:

• You can do or acquire anything you want – just go for it

• Just follow this magic formula and you are sure to become super-human

• This is how I did it – just copy me: if I can do it, anyone can

• Just believe enough and it will happen

• I met a mystic one day and here’s the secret wisdom they told me - and only me! – for reasons never really explained

Remember that the industry behind this so called ‘self-help’ shares a commonality with the fad diet industry: they sell hope but need to make sure the products themselves deliver only – at best – limited results. Otherwise, there would be no need for the next fad which will fuel next years’ profits.

Caveat Emptor.

OK – so what is the way forward here?

There is an additional ‘self-help’ genre that I find are more credible: their general approach is to outline frameworks for you to consider and then work on applying these to your own context.

Examples would include considerations of the PERMA model - Alan Carr from Dublin University has published the best I have found so far. Another is the Covey foundation’s Seven Habits: albeit in a way that I, personally, find very 1980’s Corporate American - I hear the ‘Dallas’ theme-tune whenever I think about it!

So, how do we get to some form of conclusion?

Reflect on the sustainable change process outlined above – tweak it until it makes sense for you in your present situation.

Consider the self-help books you have read – which genres do they fit in to? Have you found others?

Which have resonated with you – and why?

Which have left you cold – and why?

Notice your responses to the content you’re reading: That sounds good, but (what is the ‘but’?) or that’s ok for other, but (what differentiates between you and those ‘others’?) or if only it was as easy as that ect?

What are your responses telling you?

What limiting beliefs are they pointing to? More often than not, limiting beliefs can be derived back to ‘I’m not good enough’ and / or ‘I’m not worthy enough.’

Or is there a block somewhere? in your environment, your behaviour, your capabilities, your beliefs, your values, your sense of self.

Helping their clients work through such issues is every-day work for solution focused therapists. Supporting clients in developing their sense of agency sits at the heart of what we do. Investing in a few sessions can give you access to years of experience, a whole new toolbox, and a personalised approach to you building your own platform on which you can manage and build your own wellbeing for the rest of your life.

I thought this was a really great and encouraging story

https://youtu.be/SQSJAhP5RAE

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes people motivated or disciplined, learning about different frameworks there are in order to get more organised and get things done. I think it's safe to say that we've all been there - at this point in life, where every little task feels like climbing a mountain with a backpack full of bricks. Even stuff we used to enjoy might feel like a chore at this point.

So, I’m curious: what’s your worst problem when it comes to motivation? Is it burnout? Stress? A feeling of pointlessness? How do you deal with it? Do you have strategies to fight this state, or do you just wing it, until it passes?

To me personally, the worst to my motivation is doing a lot of stuff that is "expected" of me. If I had a stressful week where my to-do lists were never-ending, it's of utmost importance to me that I plan and allocate proper "me-time", where I can just do whatever I like - whether it is going outdoors and enjoying nature, doing long workouts, or slump on the couch and watch Netflix all day. On those days, everything I do is directly linked to my own decisions, and no one else's.

I'm looking forward to your contribution!

soar.

Two years ago, I was stuck in a rut—no direction, no motivation, and honestly, no hope. I decided to change just one thing: my mindset. Instead of saying 'I can't,' I started saying, 'What if I try?'

Fast forward to today: I’ve achieved goals I never thought possible. Sometimes it’s about taking that first, small step—even if it’s scary or uncertain.

If you’re feeling stuck, start with something small today. You’d be amazed where those little steps can take you. For me, dreaming of what life could look like helped me push forward. I started visualizing my goals, including what my dream escape would look like—and wow, that changed everything.

What’s your small step today? Let’s motivate each other!

I feel like i have to be perfect to achieve these, have a great personality, have a lot to offer, have a lot of positive qualities

I feel desperate to get these to prove that "im good enough" or "worthy" and if i dont achieve those i feel "worthless"

I dont like that its always me chasing, instead of forming genuine connections im after their approval validation attention.

I dont blame people for not caring, why would they chase or put effort into someone who's boring? Doesnt have a lot to offer? Is negative? Is only talking to them to "get something from them" like filling a void or using them as a way to boost ego or be used as a replacement for my self esteem.

And im constantly basing my self worth/happiness on external factors, i lose one game in a video game? I feel worthless, i text a girl and doesnt reply? I feel worthless, this makes me get into a deep cycle of self criticism and self doubt, that "i cant do anything right"

Im constantly in performance or entertainer mode. Like a monkey trying to make others happy, putting them on a pedestal just so they dont leave or ignore. Fear of rejection and abandonment and if these happen i feel "worthless"

Its never me who's being chased, liked, cared about. I always chase.

I know that if someone likes me, or enjoys my company, or wants to be in my life i wont have to always chase them, or make it a battle to stay with them or pressure them.

This is for anyone over 30 wondering if it’s too late to make a change.

I studied business and worked at a bank after college. I stayed for 8 years. It was stable. My coworkers were buying houses, cars, and starting families by the time they hit 30.

But the work was busy and boring. Most of my time went to getting approvals or following strict financial regulations. I felt stuck.

Is this what life is supposed to be?

I spent more than half my awake hours working. I wanted my work to enrich my life, not just pay bills.

After 2 years of thinking, I quit last year. Now I’m doing work I enjoy. The pay isn’t back to what it was yet, but there’s potential, and my days are so much more fulfilling.

Here’s what helped me along the way:

Visualize your long-term ideal life

• Imagine your ideal day 10 years from now. Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with?
• Do the same for 20 years ahead.
• Every choice comes with trade-offs. Write down what you’d sacrifice to get there (not just money. Think about stress, anxiety, and even family disagreements).

Honestly assess your market value

• Can you return to your role later if needed?
• Is your salary now above the market average?

Plan the steps between now and your goal

• Identify the skills and experience you’re missing.
• Estimate how much time you’ll need to gain them.

If possible, learn or experiment on the side before quitting. But I know not all paths allow for this.

Improve your writing and interact with potential clients online

If freelancing (like design), build an online presence to find clients.

But balance is very important. Too much time online can hurt personal growth and cause anxiety. I had to learn the hard way to stop focusing on others’ lives. Doomscrolling won’t give you any fresh inspiration. 

These steps might look easy on paper, but each one comes with its own doubts and fears. Giving up job security was terrifying.

I hope my story encourages anyone in a similar situation.

I love this quote from Steve Jobs:

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

You are already naked.

There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Last year, I stood in front of my old, beaten-down car, staring at the empty highway in front of me. I had a job I didn’t love, a dream I wasn’t chasing, and no idea where I was going. But I got in, turned the key, and started driving because sometimes, the hardest part is just starting.

Fast forward to today, I’ve got a new job I love, my dream car (okay, it’s still used but it’s mine), and a life I wake up excited for every day. That first mile? Scary as hell. The miles after that? Worth every bit of effort.

No matter what “car” you’re driving in life, just keep moving forward. The road will reveal itself. 

Hello, I recently joined a book club to expand socially and get back to reading for leisure. What books do you recommend?

Lost in life’s chaos, I found myself on the sidelines. It is strange how easily we can become strangers to ourselves! Amidst work and distractions, I forgot what makes "me" me. But thats been enough for me and it is time to hit the reset button! Has life ever inspired you to hit your own reset button? Is it just me or do I have company in the lifegame of "Ever lost and found yourself"?

Anything rushed is annoying.

It can be taken to your office for daily household chores.

In the era of everything instant, we have become more and more impatient.

Hungry for instant gratification.

We need everything at our fingertips and operate the world at the press of a button.

Revolution with an evolution.

But anything half-baked is useless.

You can't eat half-cooked food or a half-built bridge.

Life has its course and there is beauty in watching it grow.

A seedling can not bear fruit in a day.

To procreate and duplicate itself it has to go through a process.

The process is called growth.

The more you nurture this process, the more sweeter the fruit is.

Mature.

But we are in a hurry. Result-oriented, ambitious.

So much so that we mix our emotions with the work.

We have lost a sense of detachment from what is happening in our personal and professional lives.

We are brutally dragging our work to home, and home to our offices.

Intelligence is mixed with emotions is impure intelligence.

Malignant. Malevolent.

This is the very root cause of stress and anxiety today.

We don't know where to apply emotions and where to use intelligence.

Messed up fucked up life.

Read more - https://jett.me/insight/keep-patience/

So I've just been diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). It's 100% fatal. You end up totally paralyzed, can't talk, can't eat, you end up dying because you can't breathe.

I have a 19 year old severely handicapped son - quadriplegic cerebral palsy, partially blind, tube fed, can't walk, talk or do anything physically, profoundly cognitively delayed.

I'm only 54 years old (F). This is some fucking bullshit. My advice: get up and get your shit done now so you can be somewhat happy because you never know what's in store.

ETA: I forgot to add that I have always had (often severe) depression and adhd with a some laziness and overwhelm thrown in. I wish I had done more to combat it while I had the chance.

Been sending time with family/relatives this week n everyone’s asking me why I am not married since I am gonna turn 36 soon and why no job/all that. Since I got laid off I haven’t been able to find a job and taking a course, I met my extended family members after a year today and I am in the worst place now than I was in Nov last year. Last year this time I was studying and preparing for interviews. Then I had a job and got laid off later. I hate myself for being in a relationship with ex who is already married now. I hate for myself for loving him so much. I go to gym but past few days I have been stress eating more. I am tired. I hope I don’t wake up tomorrow. I am Very frustrated . Job market hasn’t been good and I only got rejections this year. I wish it was easier to just end things and not being here. I just wanna get out of here. But I don’t have extra n resources where I can just go somewhere where ever I want. Feeling super lost

I recently came across this app called Motivation - Daily quotes by MonkeyTaps. They charge 36$ annually. I'm wondering why would someone subscribe to it when there are Insta pages, subreddits, and other free resources for this? Will be great if someone can share their insights on this if you've subscribed to it already.

Honestly, doing hard things has never felt great in the moment for me, but I’ve realized the alternative usually feels worse. Like, I’ve struggled with workouts before, and yeah, it’s tough to get moving, but feeling out of shape and sluggish is way harder to deal with. Same thing with learning new skills. It’s frustrating and takes time, but not having any to rely on when you need them is way worse.

What I’ve learned is that motivation doesn’t just magically appear. It comes from actually doing the hard stuff, even when I didn’t feel like it. Once I started seeing little wins, like feeling stronger, getting better at something, or building real connections, that’s what kept me going. It’s not easy, but once you push through and see progress, it’s totally worth it. That’s what makes life feel lighter in the long run.

What about you? How do you handle things when they feel overwhelming or hard to start?