I've been building up to doing an annual gratitude practice, and I'm going to share the history behind it. But because it's long, I'll break this up into parts. Feel free to skip ahead.

An idea

In 2014 I was inspired to start a gratitude practice.

There were a lot of news stories at the time about how gratitude was really good for your well-being, from physical health to mental health. I recall a couple studies saying that it only took 21 or 30 days to rewire your brain. Maybe 21 to develop a new habit, but 30 for noticeable effects on MRI scans.

So naturally I wanted in.

I tried a couple different diary apps. I tried feeling grateful in my head. I considered journaling, but didn't feel ready for journaling on paper. Unfortunately, nothing stuck for more than a week or two.

I felt really discouraged and depressed. I was judging myself for my inability to stick to something and it felt really bad.

As November approached that year, I had this funny idea that it was the perfect month for a 30 day gratitude practice. The holidays were a stressful time, plus the beginning of a long, dark, winter. I thought that by doing a 30 day gratitude practice in November, it would be an ideal way to contain the goal and enhance its effects.

Funnily, I didn't do it that year. Actually, it wasn't until 2018 that I finally did my 30 day gratitude practice in November.

Discipline?

Years passed, and life happened. I really struggled to muster up the discipline to practice gratitude (or most things actually).

In hindsight, I had a lot of psychological blocks. One issue was I thought gratitude was too close to toxic positivity (of course this was before I knew the phrase toxic positivity so I couldn't quite articulate why).

I had also lived so long with my feelings invalidated, that I really wanted to indulge in my negative thoughts for a while. I was in therapy during this period, and that felt like effective betterment for me. I kind of thought I didn't "need" gratitude? In hindsight, I was really fighting the idea of doing it.

Once I'd realized and worked through some of the psychological blocks, all I was left with was a lack of discipline. It wasn't something I was taught growing up. Increasingly, it seemed like I was going to have to exert a lot of effort to become good at it now.

In 2018 I made it a mission of mine to become disciplined. I knew it was holding me back in many areas of my life, so I worked on a plan to grow that trait within me.

Luckily it worked! I became disciplined over the course of that year, using daily creative writing. This growth helped me immensely because it proved to me that I could be disciplined, and it paved the way for other good habits.

Year 1

In November, 2018, my discipline practice paid off. I had completed an entire novel, and even created a first draft of a gratitude journal. (This journal had quotes + prompts -- things I imagined would inspire me to write).

I printed the pages of this gratitude journal, folded it up (although it looked ridiculous) and made a concerted effort to fill it out that November.

Well, I did the 30 days of gratitude in that journal that year. Even when I felt depressed or resistant, I really forced myself to do it.

But at the end of the 30 days I wasn't happy about it. Maybe I was too down on myself for some of the content I used. Maybe the printed journal was kinda dingy. Or maybe the biggest reason, I felt alone doing it.

What I really realized that first year, was how much easier it was to do anything that others were doing. I looked around me: a family gathering, a national holiday. It was evident that groups were needed, and it wasn't just about accountability. There's a sort of widespread energy that's felt when many people partake in something.

So I developed this idea in my head, that one day I wanted to see the rise of a holiday about gratitude. Something more substantive than Thanksgiving. Something that really impacts people for the better in a big way.

An idea evolving

As time went on, I really wanted to do the 30 days of gratitude. It felt like a calling (or taunting at times). In November 2019, I didn't practice gratitude. I was "busy", feeling down, but also I became fixated on improving the journal I created so that I would want to do it again.

I created a second draft of the gratitude journal, and then a third, then a fourth. Once I'd gotten to a 10th version in early 2020, I decided it was time to figure out how to print it.

There's a large portion of this story that revolves around my business aspirations. I wanted to create a business where I could make guided journals for dozens of different things -- gratitude being just one of them. But I'm going to skip over that. It's not really key to this story.

What was really strange about November 2020 and November 2021, was I couldn't bring myself to journal. I think I was hoping to in 2020, but between COVID and my mom's cancer diagnosis, I didn't feel like it.

Instead, I kept thinking that I needed a final product. Something I felt good to hold in my hands, and then I would journal. Something that was good enough...

November 2022 - November 2023 (A year of gratitude)

My mom died in June, 2022. It was hard. Afterwards I immersed myself in work, and tried to keep living because I didn't know what else to do.

But as the year end was approaching, I felt burnout. I really hadn't addressed my grief, and as my emotions started to come out, I really took a hard look at what I was doing and wondered if it was what I wanted to be doing. I thought, if I were on my death bed this time next year, would I feel proud of the life I led, or would I feel regret?

So I quit my job and started journaling. After all, how was I going to sell journals one day if I didn't journal?

At first, I journaled only digitally. I still couldn't bring myself to sit in front of a notebook and write. In hindsight, I think it made me feel too vulnerable.

But every day, diligently on a note file on my phone, I wrote what I was grateful for. I started this practice at the very end of October, 2022 and continued until the end of 2023. Over 400 days of gratitude! Take that discipline problem!

Feeling grateful every day wasn't as easy as it might sound. I had to muster up some creativity and positivity too even though it never came naturally to me. I felt sad too. I found myself feeling a lot of regret over all the gratitude I didn't feel in my life. I didn't cherish the time I had with my parents while they were alive, and I soon realized I needed to try hard to appreciate everyone around me while I still had them.

In November 2022, I started my subreddit for 30 days of gratitude. Connection was increasingly vital for me. I wanted company in journaling, even though I wasn't sure when I'd have it. And I really wanted to spread the joy that I knew in my heart gratitude would bring.

An interesting finding for me was that I did not feel incredibly uplifted after one month of journaling. Not even after two. No, it took me over 8 months before I felt a slight shift in my mood and an increased capacity for gratitude. This was mind blowing! I always thought there was something wrong that I couldn't become disciplined easily or pick up a new habit. Instead I discovered that it just takes my brain longer than most people to adapt to something new.

Gratitude November

It's November 5th, 2024 as I write this. And I'm happy that it's the third year I'm practicing daily gratitude for the month of November.

I like to think of this as a holiday. As I grew older, I didn't like holidays. I think they felt too commercial and impersonal to me. But this gratitude holiday feels really special because it's meant to nourish, not drain you. Maybe a lot like how a holiday meal nourishes a family. But 30 days of gratitude can nourish your soul.

Over at r/gratitudefor30days I post a quote and writing prompt daily. There are quite a few people there, but it's a little quiet. I invite people to join along either in the comments or in their own personal journal. I can't quite tell how it's going for anyone but me, but I do appreciate every subscriber.

I imagine that a lot of people might feel the way I used to: Here's a great thing to do! But I don't think I can commit to doing it this time. That's okay! Adoption takes a long time. I mean, it took me almost 30 years from the first time I wrote in my diary, to keeping a diary again in a meaningful way.

Life is short, and the more I think about it, the more I want to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. For me that means connection and bonding over shared values.

Maybe I'm selfish for sharing this. I did want to share how I developed a cool habit that's made a meaningful impact in my life. But also, I would love to recruit you to be grateful with me.

Hello,

I’ve been actively integrating AI into almost every area of my life — from work to daily organization — and recently started wondering if AI could enhance my meditation practice. I want to try different apps that tailor meditation sessions to my emotional state, provide breathing reminders throughout the day, and even create soundscapes for deeper immersion.

On one hand, this feels like modern support, but on the other, am I losing the essence of meditation by relying on technology? I’m searching for a balance and curious to see if AI can actually support (or hinder) my practice.

Has anyone else tried similar experiments? I’d love to hear about your experiences!

Mother Nature has been considered a higher power throughout human history, and some say that connecting with nature can help people find a connection to their higher power. Others say that nature can help people realize their unity with the natural world and themselves, which can lead to enlightenment.

Brahman - Purusha/Prakriti - Consciousness - Mind - Space - Air - Fire - Water - Earth. - The Mahabharata. As you can see from the above sentence, Consciousness is of Prakriti/Shakti or Mother Nature.

“Yogis use pranayama to transcend the mind and establish super consciousness.” “Yogis attempted to transcend the mind and dynamize consciousness.” “Transcend the ordinary mind and its constant thoughts, thus entering a state of pure awareness, or 'Turiya'.“ - Quotes taken from articles regarding yoga.

Yogis like to stay close to Mother Nature or Prakriti. In a documentary of Lao Tzu, it was said, “Lao Tzu the favorite son of Mother Nature.”

https://preview.redd.it/7w6usc9x6tyd1.png?width=602&format=png&auto=webp&s=cd68166437b257e5c3b2b199b391d126ab2ad4b3

Hi everyone. I've been practicing meditation on a daily basis for a couple of months. Now I am looking for more guidance and would like to attend a meditation retreat. Since I live in Germany, but many recommendations here are in the US, I'm hoping someone can recommend retreats in Europe as well. Thanks in advance

The more I meditate, the more it's like I am watching someone else scroll through the feeds mindlessly from above. I also find that mindlessly scrolling on my phone is the quickest way to lose my sense of awareness and centeredness.

This realization inspired me to try to turn my phone usage into a more meditative practice.

Here's how I'm approaching phone usage now:

Rubber band around phone:

• This helps my remember to bring awareness into each interaction with my phone
• This is just annoying enough to make me physically remove it if I want to get into a real social media scroll
• It also kind of makes me laugh at myself for even having to use it

Distracting apps blocked by default:

• I have tried apple app limits in the past but always just ignored them
• I set up a stricter third party blocker that locks me out of social media in the morning and night, and limits the number of opens during the day:
  • Morning downtime (6-9am): "monk mode" = no ability to unblock social media
  • Day downtime (9am-5pm): limit of 10 social media unblocks total and apps are blocked by default until I consciously unblock them for a session
  • Night downtime (8p-midnight): "monk mode" = no ability to unblock social media

Grayscale mode:

• Simple, but surprisingly effective
• I was most skeptical of this one, but I was wrong

I'm down from 4 hrs/day to 2 hrs/day... but more importantly social media (including Reddit) is down from 3 hrs/day to less than 1 hr/day... and it feels much more intentional, I feel more mindful throughout the day and continue to treat it as a meditative practice.

How do y'all feel about phone usage and zen?

Hey everyone,

I’m a freelance web designer, and for a long time, I felt totally overwhelmed. I love my work, but being a one-person team meant I was juggling everything like design, emails, client calls, invoicing, you name it. I would look at my to-do list every morning and feel like I was sinking.

I’d try to get started, but I’d end up checking social media or doing random tasks that didn’t really matter. It felt like I was always busy, but never really accomplishing anything important.

A friend of mine suggested trying Hyperdone, and at first, I was doubtful. But after using it for a week, I was honestly surprised. It helped me break my day into smaller, manageable blocks. Like, I’d set a 2-hour block for design work, 1 hour for emails, and 30 minutes for client calls.

It was super simple, but it helped me focus. I’ve been getting more done in less time, and now, my to-do list doesn’t feel like a mountain.

Anyone else here a freelancer? How do you manage your time without burning out?

Where do we channel them? How do we release them? Merely staying in control and holding them is making me heavy.

I am reading an excerpt from Shunryu Suzuki’s book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. I am a novice in meditation and the concepts of Zen are new to me.

He states that “So try not to see something in particular; try not to achieve anything special. You already have everything in your own pure quality.”

I am struggling with the passive nature of Zen in general. How do people reconcile trying to achieve and do good in the world, with the opposite practice of letting things “be” as they are? These seem like two fundamentally different ideas.

1. Automatic Breakdown of Large or Vague Tasks. If I say, "I need to write an article today," what kind of thought process will follow? "Okay, I need to first think about what to write about...", "I need to really think this through," "I'll have a coffee and think about it, yeah," "I'll work on something else for now since the ideas haven't come yet," "I'll take a walk, and it'll give me time to think," "Oh! Right before bed is the best time, instead of watching YouTube, I'll think about it." Now let's approach it differently: I say, "I'll set a timer for 25 minutes, and I'll get something done on the article." After 25 minutes, you'll either have a list of potential topics or one topic with some core points outlined. The brain is given a task to complete something in 25 minutes, and it surprisingly quickly finds what can realistically be achieved in that time frame, something that can be considered a result, leading to a dopamine hit for achieving a goal.
2. No Procrastination. Usually, for the first 25-minute session, my task is simply to pour a coffee, turn on the computer, launch all the necessary programs, and write down what I plan to do today. Every single time, I find that within 5 minutes, I'm already fully working, even though at first, it felt like "today just isn't the day." So, the very process of getting into work mode becomes its own task with a time limit.
3. You Know Exactly When It Will End. When creating an interval schedule, the total time is displayed. The brain understands that during this time, it just needs to give in and fully commit.
4. Easily Fit Small Tasks During Breaks. Breaks are legitimate, following an approved technique. You get 5 minutes, and after 4 cycles, a full 15-minute break. This is part of the structure, and it makes you quickly find what fits into these intervals. The simplest things are exercise or home chores (cleaning, tidying up).
5. At the End of the Session, You’ll Feel Energized Instead of Tired. Your brain will have worked in its optimal mode, and along the way, other tasks will have been accomplished—like working out some muscles or getting household chores done.

I am grateful for many aspects to this life. I recognize the beauty, the gift, and how short the ride actually is. That all being said, I’m not a very happy person. I continuously find myself in difficult, friction-filled relationships ie: with a partner, a 21 year old son, an older sister, a few frenemies etc. I’m the common denominator. What am I doing wrong!?

Hey everyone,

I’ve been working on improving my work-life balance for the past few months, and I wanted to share a tool that’s helped me a lot: Hyperdone. As a freelancer, I was constantly shifting between projects and often ended up working late into the night just to catch up. I was getting stressed and burnt out fast.

The work-life balance reports have shown me how much time I was spending on work versus personal life, and it was eye-opening. I’ve now set boundaries, and I make sure to schedule “off” time just as I would schedule a meeting.

The automation triggers have also been a big help. They remind me when a task is due, but more importantly, they help me switch gears when I need to step away. I’ve noticed that I’m more present in my personal life, and I’m way less stressed.

If you’re trying to find more balance between work and personal time, I highly recommend giving it a try. It’s definitely helped me regain control. How do you all balance work and life? Would love to hear your tips!

"The Only Barrier is Your Doubt"

We often sabotage our own progress by letting self-doubt take control. Imagine how much further we could go if we didn't let our inner fears stop us. I've personally faced moments where the only thing in my way was my own mindset. Overcoming self-doubt doesn't happen overnight, but recognizing that it's the main hurdle is the first step.

I’d love to hear from others who have faced their own moments of doubt. How did you overcome it? What steps do you take daily to ensure that doubt doesn't hold you back?

Let's use this space to motivate each other and break through the barriers of self-doubt.

Hi, how do you deal with good long but lost friendships and relationships drifting apart? & if those good old trusted friends just stopped communicating? How to move on? Any advice?

Hello all. I'm looking into implementing a suggestion I read about of going outside for sun exposure almost immediately after waking in order to get those brain chemicals going, and to help stabilize circadian rhythms. However I'm curious as to how meditating in the morning would work with this.... would it be better to do the meditation first? I'm thinking maybe the wake-up chemicals activating might be distracting. What do you think?

Hey folks,

I'm fairly new to this community, so please pardon any mistakes.

Lately, I've felt angry, cheated, and agitated with whatever is happening in my life. I read or watch the news and immediately start to crib to my wife about how my country is going to dogs. Even the smallest of things make me super angry and agitated.

I seem to be arguing with my life a lot due to this (we do have some quite heated arguments that result in nasty fights), and it is really messing up my peace. She keeps complaining that I always look frustrated and angry.

I believe I still have residual feelings from my past two businesses not working out which I worked on for ~3 years and just wrapped last month, and unable to find a job in these tough times.

What can I do to be more peaceful and composed during arguments and look at the brighter side of things?

Have you considered it? I'm not good with classic meditation, I thought that playing basic melodies could force me to breath differently and then make me feel more relaxed and grounded. I'm not looking for performance, only making flute sounds with a transverse flute because it sounds less annoying than a plastic flute of course. I meant to do it months ago and haven't, I regret since I didn't find alternatives and it would be useful to be more grounded. I don't have the discipline for regular yoga or classic breathing exercises. Does it make sense to you?

Advice is only useful if you have the right perception to use it

Advice on how to be productive is only as useful as how much you care about being productive

Advice on how to save or make money is only as useful as how much you care about money

You must be in a state of struggle or pain to have the perception required to transcend your problem. Otherwise the advice you hear won’t stay in your mind.

Just looking for advice without the perception to fully use and remember the advice is a waste of time.

If you want something and you’re looking for advice to get it, look for the best perception to have instead.

Do you just prefer to have more money or is it a goal you are willing to spend your life achieving? For example, the best possible advice on money won’t help unless you have the perception, skills and beliefs to achieve your monetary goals.

All change requires an identity. You have to change who you are: your thoughts, goals and beliefs to change. Advice/tactics won’t work otherwise.

This is why books and paid courses can be more useful because you have already got the perception to achieve your goals enough to spend money on the advice. But things like YouTube shorts and mindlessly looking for advice in the name of productivity just doesn’t work.

Just trying to take up as much advice as you can won’t work unless it’s truly relevant to how you currently see your life. If you value the advice, make sure that you change your goals and perception so that you can actually utilise the advice.

Also, if you want to have the perception to use this advice or anyone else’s, check my profile out as you might find my posts help you change your perception and help you achieve your goals.

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on how mindfulness can shape our personal visions of Utopia—a space rooted in simplicity, gratitude, and intentional living. This idea resonates deeply with Zen principles, guiding us to live more purposefully and peacefully. I wanted to share some insights from my journey and hear how others here incorporate mindfulness into creating their own ideal life. How do you define and work towards your own personal Utopia?

I’ve also written more on this topic if you’re interested—happy to share further insights in the comments!

I’m curious about how others have come to believe in it and what experiences helped you trust that it really works.

I’m looking for books, preferably from Zen Masters about how the Zen garden helps meditation and mental clarity. It’s for my dissertation so the more the merrier.

If you have any books or articles in mind please tell me, Thank you so much!

So I recently started practicing zazen and I normally count my breaths on the exhale as it helps me focus on the breath. I understand that the eyes don’t close and should look downward but my eyes always seem to drift upward to what’s in front of me, instead of looking down. Any thoughts or ideas on how I should approach what to look at during meditations?

How can i fill myself with positivity?