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/r/howtonotgiveafuck

875,237 Subscribers

1

My inner ego is destroying my confidence and self growth

I always help others and wish good for them. I don't even have jealous towards others. But a part of me whenever I feel bad from my thoughts is I'm getting negative amount of emotions where the ego rises. And I realize my life isn't great. Multiple times I have been told by family just talk it out. Just share your problem or worries. If not us then someone you trust but let it out. Stop suffering inside. And I just can't seem myself to put it out there. A part of me just feels scared of judgement and criticism. I'll probably get viewed like a dummy or weak link or some idiot. And people think I'm this smart capable strong person but in reality I'm not.

So like for 2 years I wanted to talk with my college advisor about my academics. I've been not going college 2 years. I did lot of research googling and YouTube even asked people online but didn't find any clarity. So I've been suggested by multiple people just go to college talk with new advisor and start your classes. But there is were my mind says no no no. Like why is this happening always. It's not only college, but lot of other things. As if something is pulling me back.

1 Comment
2024/12/01
02:13 UTC

1

How to not gaf about attention spans in the modern age

Everybody's attention spans being so short nowadays has made me worry so much. Teaching and having a conversation has reportedly turned into a nightmare, and nobody can ever just be in the moment and enjoy the present anymore. We're all addicted to tiktoks and reels and short form content for the quickest hit of dopamine and stimulation (which is basically the lowest possible form of enjoyment at this point.) It worries me to see my friends and family and myself be affected by what's happening with all of this.

What I'm most paranoid about is that art in the future (movies, shows, etc) will either be incredibly fast paced to the point that you can't process what the hell is going on, or just be ignored completely/not fully enjoyed. It's absolutely devastating that people, especially younger kids, won't enjoy art anymore. I personally want to make my own webcomic in the future, and it makes me so depressed thinking that people won't have the attention span for it.

..so how do I not give a shit?

3 Comments
2024/12/01
01:57 UTC

18

hey guys just wanted to say mindfulness helped me a lot and meditation since we live in the internet age

meditation is mostly for relaxing your body and bringing it back to the baseline cause we're not built for 1000 doomscroll reels and fluctuating emotions on each video. mindfulness so being present and you notice the sounds around you and you're safe at the moment. obviously if your getting chased by a tiger then survival mode is fine. But most of the time you're just chilling so mindfulness is really important.

Focusing on one thing at a time and not multitasking, just like doomscrolling and watching too many reels. Focusing on too many things at a time causes stress. So yeah mindfulness, focus and meditation has helped me the most.

6 Comments
2024/11/30
22:54 UTC

993

Reminder.

14 Comments
2024/11/30
16:31 UTC

937

When it's acceptable

6 Comments
2024/11/30
10:27 UTC

13

How do I live life to the fullest without being scared

I am 21 and i'm scared of what others would say especially my parents , I honestly dont care what people who I dont know think about me but I am scared of disappointing my parents, im scared of losing my friends, im scared of the awkwardness of telling people how I feel, i'm scared of being stern with friends and family, i am scared of pursuing new things because of how i'll fail and it won't be worth the effort, im scared of seeking a relationship thinking that i wont be able to withstand the feelings of losing someone I love. It feels kind of easy saying this stuff online since no one really knows me but I have this stupid facade that I wear to please everyone except myself, im so sick and tired of it, I just want to make a difference in this world by doing something that makes me happy without having to please others and I wanna be a leader. I feel like I force myself to take a backseat to avoid conflict, but internally, I want conflict, I don't know.

I feel like life is pointless, I go to school or work come home sleep, and repeat, is there really nothing else to do, I don't even like watching movies anymore, I hate waking up early now, I don't want to go to sleep, I try to play some sports outside but I'm alone.

I just keep rambling on I don't know. Sorry about the venting but any tips?

6 Comments
2024/11/30
05:04 UTC

24

How to be ok with someone thinking they are better than you?

I shouldn't care what they think. Because its literally something that they think ( or someone loudly claim) and how does it even matter if its true or not. Why does it still bother me so much?

36 Comments
2024/11/29
23:37 UTC

127

Let's think clearly and objectively.

6 Comments
2024/11/29
22:25 UTC

4

Finding a path when the future is unclear

I live in the U.S. and as I'm sure many of you already know, our last election has left us all very divided.

As a woman I'm with disgusted and hurt with the people in my life who voted for tRump. As a (trying hard to be) buddhist, im finding it so very difficult to remain calm in the uncertainty that our country is facing and what my future may hold. Not only does my future worry me but for my daughter as well.

I'd love to say that I can turn to family but unfortunately some of them voted for the republican and I can't morally agree with them. I resorted to laying a boundry down with my father (who is just rekindled a relationship with after almost 10 yrs due to his abusive and narcissistic ways) and told him I needed some time to rethink my relationship with him and how I feel about everything. Which I feel I did in haste because I was not emotionally regulated in the moment and now, after reaching out to my father 3 times, he's given me the silent treatment. Which I fully deserve but I'm just so confused and hurt by all of this going on.

How do i remian civil against those who voted against my rights due to their hate of others?

How do I gain emotional regulation in moments that are overwhelming and heated due to differences?

How do I go about remaining neutral with other republican believers that go against everything I stand for?

I'm so lost, I'm so hurt and I feel like I don't have the support I need to regain my footing with these relationships that I have damaged. Any and all guidance is welcomed. Feel free tontell me i deserve this turmoil based off my actions, because it certainly feels that way.

14 Comments
2024/11/29
21:42 UTC

1,251

Biggest loser here

28 Comments
2024/11/29
21:30 UTC

23

Why does truth hurt? Why is facing reality so painful? Does it hurt because truth explodes the dreams behind the lies we live by?

Episode #79 at TheLaughingPhilosopher.PodBean.com

2 Comments
2024/11/29
20:02 UTC

232

What the Buddha would say nowadays

10 Comments
2024/11/29
20:01 UTC

72

also this

1 Comment
2024/11/29
17:54 UTC

686

Free yourself

11 Comments
2024/11/29
17:38 UTC

19

Something Deep to Counter the Surface Lvl BS on this Sub

“Karma is a thing.”

Cool bro. Great post.

Now here’s something that’s ACTUALLY gonna help you, dear reader.

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are one of many normal humans in this world. You are not THAT different, because you know why?

Literally, EVERYONE, thinks they’re different.

And while yes, we’re all unique in our own ways, we’re all human, we all experience things with our emotions and our senses.

So with this knowledge, realize that you don’t have to be afraid.

Literally do your best, and not give a fuck.

Carry on.

6 Comments
2024/11/29
13:47 UTC

13

How to stop caring about my new job?

I’ve got a new job, it’s minimum wage, it’s a nice job but in my head I’m acting as if I’m a surgeon at a hospital. I say this because I’m so anxious whenever I’m working, I am so on edge in everything I do at work because I’m afraid I’ll mess up, I need to remind myself that I got this job with literally no experience and that not much is expected of me. How do you deal with new job nerves? I feel that if I stop caring so much I’ll work better and be more carefree and smooth at work, at the moment I’m trying too hard to get everything perfect and I’m just making everything worse.

6 Comments
2024/11/29
11:54 UTC

59

also did i mention

28 Comments
2024/11/29
11:48 UTC

41

Been told I take life too seriously so how do I not give a fuck?

I (23F) have always been a super sensitive person, I used to hate it and now I’ve just embraced that’s who I am and I can’t help that I feel things so incredibly deeply, and I overthink a lot. Right now my biggest insecurity is that I have no fucking idea what I’m doing or what my path is and I’m worried about saying the wrong thing or meeting the wrong person or stepping on anyone’s toes i don’t fucking know. Kind of going through an existential crisis right now and I’m at a point where I don’t give a fuck if I live or die but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. I’m just tired of taking everything so seriously like trying to figure out what path I take in life and it all seems so fucking overwhelming and confusing and I don’t want to grow old and sad and miserable, I don’t want to look back at my life with regret and I’m so fucking terrified of dying alone, it’s genuinely my biggest fear. The only people that care about me right now are older folks that know I’ve had it hard in life and they feel bad for me, since I’m a young woman that lost her mother as a child and I basically had to raise myself. I’m so fucking angry that I have to live through this existence when everything sucks someone please give me any advice (and please don’t say I sound depressed and I need therapy I already know that, and I’ve don’t therapy for many years of my life already which costs me thousands of dollars - from my experience therapy has taught me the only person that can save me is myself but what if I can’t fucking save myself and what if I don’t want to ?? I’m alone in this world I fucking hate it

26 Comments
2024/11/29
09:15 UTC

488

most of them don't even pay you

11 Comments
2024/11/29
02:17 UTC

15

When you felt like life is screwed what made you repair ?

I’m just at an age where I feel extremely behind and I know I’m behind but the worst feeling ever is that I’m not doing anything about. I seem to hold on the past and can’t forgive myself. But I don’t understand why do I keep living in the past and creating this self victimization mind. I blame myself and I bring myself down. I tend to compare and saying things like I’m not smart strong capable enough. I’m not made for this. I don’t think I’ll ever taste success.

All my life I just had 3-5 goals that I set 6 years ago. I wanted to get a set career, learn driving, finish college, have some friends but as I observe my life. I have not accomplish 1 thing. Only few weeks left til a new year begins. How do I even begin to take actions. How do I stop living in fear and social anxiety. My family says you have become very slow weak and unmotivated. And I say yea is true. Sighs.

6 Comments
2024/11/28
19:58 UTC

255

Why you should LIVE FOR YOURSELF and NOT for others

11 Comments
2024/11/28
15:16 UTC

1,612

When stability walks in, misunderstandings walk out.

35 Comments
2024/11/28
13:44 UTC

66

why the haters are mad

1 Comment
2024/11/28
04:57 UTC

27

How to let it go...

Walked off a job of 2.5 years last week because managerial incompetence and a hostile workplace was making me physically ill.

I've never done something like this before and it's really messing with me. It doesn't help everyone around me keeps saying I should get the courts involved (I specifically didn't take the kinds of records with me I'd have needed to do that because I don't want to destroy my health for them anymore).

Part of me is raging for some kind of justice, the rest just wants to move on to the next phase of my life in peace.

Advice on how to stop giving a fuck? I can't keep reliving these things in my head.

12 Comments
2024/11/28
04:04 UTC

735

Im turning away my attention and energy to things that I have no control

13 Comments
2024/11/28
02:02 UTC

546

Ask your doctor about Nofuxgyven today

10 Comments
2024/11/28
00:55 UTC

20

Some thoughts on how to not worry about other people's opinions

First - there are probably many more than one person who has a bad opinion about something that is important to you; be it a religion, a certain philosophical position, famous films, games, hobbies, etc. Even if you encounter one or more such people and manage to win an argument or even change their minds, there are probably many more people with whom you can do nothing, so why worry about the small number of them that you are unfortunate enough to meet?

Second - it is important to understand that people's opinions do not, in essence, have any determining power over existence. If something or someone exists, or if something happened or is happening - then it is so no matter what anyone thinks and/or says; for example, if afterlife exists, then it exists and no one's opinions, whatever they may be, will change that, and if it doesn't, then it doesn't, and no one's opinions, whatever they may be, will change that, and so on with many other things. Many people take other people's opinions to heart as if those opinions had the power to change what is actually true in reality, when they don't; it's just always an imperfect view, nothing more.

Third - ultimately your life is only your life, you only have your mind, and nothing matters more than your happiness; take care of your mind and take care of your life, there is nothing more important. Look at what you like and what doesn't harm you, think about what you like and what doesn't harm you, interact with what you like and what doesn't harm you, and do not give up what you like and what doesn't harm you. Focus on yourself and love yourself.

I hope at least one person feels better after reading this.

6 Comments
2024/11/27
23:40 UTC

16

I am losing hope

Hi i 23f

I am in the worst place mentally ever. This is the worst I've been, and it's been three days.

Three days ive been crying, and absolutely losing my mind from anxiety and negative thoughts.

I know you'll tell to do therapy, but trust me if I could afford it I wouldn't be here on reddit.

I am in college now it's my last semester, and I'm having the hardest time of my life. Only because I am not doing good mentally. I hope someone here could give me a push a word of hope so I could wake up another morning, because I am so tired.

To give context I've been in this uni for 5 years now, I haven't made a lot of friends, nobody really knows me, I don't talk to people, I only had one best friend I loved her so much, she helped me a lot her presence was really positive, I was happy that someone believed in me and loved me but now she has another friend, and she treats me like every other person now, the change was a so brutal for me but not her, and it hurt that she just replaced me, while I got emotionally attached.

I never had a boyfriend because I never wanted I was like the lonely pretty girl, but because of all of the stress and depression I seriously feel like I have aged, I don't feel 23 when I see myself in the mirror I feel 50 or 60, it's like youth has suddenly left me. And the only thing I had was beauty and now that doesnt seem like an advantage anymore.

I wss sitting in class today, and everybody was talking to everybody. Except me, and a friend we were just quiet and frozen in our places, I am what you call nice, but you'd also say something hurtful because you know I'm an easy target.

I avoid people and when I'm with them I don't know what to say or how to act. I feel a lot of negative energy in me, and I feel like a lot of people dislike me or think of me as worthless and stupid and maybe ugly.

I am so done, I have no energy to go on another day, I have already wasted those three days, thinking I'll get better but I'm not.

You'll tell me to ask for a professional, I tried reaching out, where I come from mental health isn't taken seriously, I have no idea what to do please help me.

23 Comments
2024/11/27
22:20 UTC

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