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0

how to not give a fuck about other females and how they perceive me

i do not want to sound arrogant or anything but i'm prettier than the average people around me. for the longest time, i believed that i had a problem or was cursed because of how certain people (females, unfortunately) treated me. i've been hurt both emotionally and physically by many of them. most of the time i wouldn't even know their names and they'd treat me extremely rude. to the point that i believed everyone was just horrible and life just wasnt worth living. i actually had to start going to therapy and use medication because i genuinely believed that they would hurt me again. it never accrued to me it happened because of my looks since my less attractive friends would love seeing me miserable and anxious. then later in college my boyfriend and my other (pretty) friends cleared it up for me that there was nothing wrong with me and it was just because i was pretty. the problem is, i dont know how to stop getting affected by it. how can i practice detachment? is there a way for me to not to care since i cant change the way i look?

10 Comments
2024/04/14
21:52 UTC

5

prideful friend

I have a friend who I’ve known since middle school, but we’ve grown alot closer during our years in university together. Something about this friend incites jealousy and envy by the way she speaks and acts. I truly don’t want to have these feelings and have it dictate my actions. But something about her always seemed very prideful and dominant. She’s an extrovert, and never afraid to express herself, which is something I admire her for but can get carried away I feel. Can someone give their two cents on whether my friend might be a narcissist, or is it simply just my insecurities? She’s loud and very expressive, whereas I’m quite the opposite, quiet and reserved. She would say things like “Oh, I always know I’m going to get the things that I want”. I would give my insight on topics in our conversations but to me it feels like she would top it off with something bigger. For instance, I was telling her about a cousin of mine that recently got into Law School, both our families are 1st gen immigrants and all of our family were genuinely happy for her accomplishment. My friend then goes, “Yeah, I already know someone like that and went to the same place” and this made me feel like she just brushed it off. Her and I share this love for a celebrity/musician and went to a concert together. There, I felt her cattiness there a lot more. She looked me up and down and said, “I can’t believe that’s the shirt you decided to get” and looked at the heels I wore and pointed them out as if they didnt belong to me. She made the whole trip about her hidden frustration about our other friend that came with us, and made me feel like the middle man in the situation which I didn’t appreciate in the end because I knew I wouldve enjoyed it so much better if my friend just kept it to herself and knew she just told me all of it to get me on her side. I kind of want to cut her off, but in a mannerful way. I just want to stop caring about what she thinks because she makes me feel so self-conscious about myself. She truly believes she knows people better than themselves and speaks propechies over them. The other day, I was telling her about a potential lover and decided to cut me off saying she sees me with another type of guy, which I think she couldnt be more wrong. Idk maybe i’m just insecure. My friend also says all the time “my friends now are going to be in my life forever” and “everyone around me is going to be so successful” but again something tells me its not really about their own successes, but more so about her getting to say she’s close with high-status people. As I’ve come to know her more, my friend truly feels very possessive over every situation shes in, and the people around her. How can I stop caring about what she thinks and go my own way in life?

1 Comment
2024/04/14
17:17 UTC

8

be yourself

1 Comment
2024/04/14
16:27 UTC

11

How do I cope after being blocked by someone toxic ?

Had anyone gone through a situation where someone toxic has finally removed themselves out your life? In my case, I’ve been talking to someone since November of last year and we’ve just been going down hill from there ever since we realized we wouldn’t work out. But we still stayed in contact which was a horrible idea but we could not stay off of each other for whatever reason. We have gotten in plenty of arguments, plenty of name calling and criticism.

I been wanting to get this dude out of my life for some time now but I just could never do it. I could never just hit the block button cause of the anxiety, and guilt I would feel even tho it was for the best and for my own mentality.

(I have made a couple of posts about this same guy in a couple of my posts so you’ll see how messed up he was if you’d like to read)

Last night he got mad again after something I said like he always does and hung up In my face. I proceeded to text him how much of a jerk he basically and that he needed serious help was and then later…he blocked me on Facebook and my number. I was surprised and relived all at once but then the guilt and anxiety started to settle in. Idk why tho. This is what I’ve been wanting but it hurts??? Why am I waiting for him to come back so much when I shouldn’t? He did me a favor and I should feel good about it. Right now I just feel like an idiot for saying whatever I said to cause this last night but it was valid.

I guess it was anxious attachment that I had a hold of me. And it’s still there ….how do I cope with this. I don’t wanna keep feeling Iike this towards an asshole. Maybe it’s the because he’s the one who got away first and not me. But I’m not one to block…I just unfollow or mute. He is the type to reach out to me when I’m ignoring him cause he claims he misses me but after this block I’m like 99% sure he won’t be back.

Please help…

20 Comments
2024/04/14
12:35 UTC

160

The Misfit

1 Comment
2024/04/14
11:08 UTC

16

How to move on from losing all opportunities in life?

Made loads of mistakes, usually used to think "well looking at everyone ever, mistakes have led them down the greatest paths, I'll be alright, I'll be better off infact going down the path of mistake". And we'll obviously it wasn't true, now I'm a pathetic guy compared to all the people I grew up with, compared to all the people that grew up with less opportunities and privileges on their plate.

If y'all have seen jjk, I want to become something like Geto. Don't want to bother anyone around me with my shit, and also want to get to an apathetic state.

12 Comments
2024/04/14
10:11 UTC

8

How to not give a fuck about yourself?

I have an acquaintance that I always disliked for valid and invalid reasons. He's an opportunitist since birth, always made the most of whatever he could always. He's never really had a down period, or a period where he isn't respected by people, or any other quality people care about. A great guy in all metrics for the main stream people let's say.

I'm too salty, and I don't think it's ever helped but only made my situation worse and more miserable. I want to accept that my high school era was my peak, and things don't matter further. By things not mattering i mean not worrying about my social standing, wealth or anything else, I'll just live a below average or average at best, life and want to be ok with it.

I also want to stop chasing happiness and satisfaction, here me out first. Not because I'm a masochist, but usually I use 'happiness' as a way to cope about his sucess. I tell myself "sure he's all big now but I'm more happier listening to music in my room alone right?" I want to remove happiness and satisfaction as a metric in my life so that I stop using them as a scapegoat to cope.

Edit: I do have some goals with this, I've had the greatest parents I can imagine being raised by, I just want to make them and some people around me proud about me and that's all I want.

A firefighter is a background character that helps people and people around would be proud of.

20 Comments
2024/04/14
10:07 UTC

19

How to not give a fuck about what other people think of me

Hi, I recently turned 30 years old, and I currently work in a very demanding and competitive area of ​​the institution in charge of taxes in my country. Recently I have been hearing negative comments that others say behind my back because I don't aspire for a promotion, so they think that I am not qualified for it, which makes me feel undervalued at work, the situation is that the position I have right now is already very stressful, and I work 10-12 hours a day because there is not enough staff for the demands in this area, the position above mine, is the double of workload and people work between 12 and 15 hours a day and sometimes even on weekends, since I am a single woman without children, the money I earn is enough for me to live alone, a few luxuries a month, and for my savings, so I didn't think about this, until now that people express themselves badly about my way of thinking or my work performance, what I should say, It's the same or better that some of my colleagues, I know if I get a promotion in this place, I'm going to compromise my time, personal life and health for a little more money or job recognition, on the other hand, I've been talking with my boyfriend about the possibility of getting married or living together so I am worried that my demanding schedules will affect my relationship, so it's one more reason to not seek a promotion, so my question is, how do you deal with negative comments in your work, even if they are not true? Sorry for my bad english, it's not my native language

9 Comments
2024/04/14
04:41 UTC

84

It's all in the mind.

4 Comments
2024/04/13
17:27 UTC

112

This guy gets it

5 Comments
2024/04/13
16:56 UTC

158

Find Yourself

5 Comments
2024/04/13
09:35 UTC

174

How do you stop overthinking about hurtful things in the past?

How do you forget something hurtful that was done or said to you in the past?

My abusive coworker turned abusive boss said a lot of nasty shit to me (personal attacks) based on the previous things that i had disclosed to her about my abusive childhood.

I feel really embarrassed thinking about how I was mockingly insulted by this woman.

I also feel like crying when I think about it. How do I not give a fuck?

Edit: I feel so validated reading all of y’all’s comments here and understanding that I truly didn’t overreact to this person. After the comment I completely became bland towards this individual and stopped sharing anything and stopped reacting to anything.

50 Comments
2024/04/13
08:24 UTC

122

Making the most of your time and understanding the ancient art of not giving a fuck...

"Make the most of the time you've got while you've got the time. For the ancient art of not giving a fuck isn't about giving a fuck about nothing. It's about giving a fuck about that which means something to you." - SoSarcasticSavage

1 Comment
2024/04/12
21:42 UTC

16

How to overcome jealousy toward someone you don't like.

I (22F) had a classmate, let's call her W (22F). W is a "pick me" type, always trying to differentiate herself from other girls "I can never have female friends; they're all bitches. I only have male best friends," bla bla. I didn't have a problem with it until she started degrading me in front of guys, saying things like, "How can you wear so much makeup in the morning? I can't even get out of bed," and so on. I could feel that she was extra mean towards me. Most of the guys she talked to in class had a crush on me, so I thought maybe that's why she behaved that way towards me—because she clearly craved male attention. One time she even told a guy who had a crush on me, "I was hoping your taste would be better, but whatever." As you can see, I don't like her at all and tried to avoid her whenever I could. Plus, I didn't have anything to worry about her since I always got better grades than her (I was the topper of my class), and I was more attractive and most importantly confident.

Now, here comes the placement season in college. I got placed in the first company that came, and I was not allowed to sit for other companies' placements. I was happy with the offer, as it was a remote job, and in terms of compensation, it was what I was expecting for myself. On the other hand, W failed many interviews and couldn't secure a position in any company during placements.

However, after a year since we graduated, she somehow managed to secure a job offer off-campus and is earning 0.5X more than I am. She is also very active on social media now, frequently posting "funny" reels with her team lead and appearing very happy. It makes me overthink, and honestly, I feel jealous. I understand that this might not seem like a big deal to be jealous about, but I always thought I deserved better than her. I try not to dwell on these thoughts and have muted her from every social platform so I don't see her much and try not to think about it. I don't know what else I can do to make myself feel at ease. How do you guys overcome jealousy? Your help will be appreciated.

13 Comments
2024/04/12
21:38 UTC

8

Turning 21 soon, kind of worried + looking for advice

So I'll be 21 in 2 days and I thought it would've been different, as in I'd have done more or had more experiences and i'm starting to get worried over not having these experiences. Not trying to beat around the bush so it's mainly my virginity that's bothering me, but also an extreme anxiety about being unwillingly single forever. The last girlfriend I had was in highschool and since becoming an adult i've messed up all my chances so far because i've been anxious. I'll get into a mindset that this girl is the last girl who will ever like me and after this i'll never have another chance... which leads me to ruining it. I've worked on this but i still get overly obsessed about being a virgin forever. I've ran around in circles trying to figure out what's wrong with me or why nobody wants me, then I realized it's just my dogshit mindset. Despite that I still have trouble believing my life will ever change and I've been giving far too many fucks over my relationship status. Has anyone here been in this boat before? I know passions and goals will help but sometimes it's hard to do anything when it feels like there's no payoff at the end (having a family/relationship/marriage/etc). It doesn't seem feasible for me to not gaf but i also drive myself crazy looking up shit on quora and reddit that could possibly relate to me.

In summary, I know I need to transform my life in a way that I stop devoting all my time to finding a lover and get overly attached to everybody, but I really reaally realllyyyy don't wanna die a virgin lol. I just don't know how to get there and get over this stupid shit that plagues me to such an unbearable degree, it's almost like permanently ingrained in me. I just wanted to share and see if anybody has any thoughts/tips. Thanks for reading.

30 Comments
2024/04/12
21:08 UTC

91

I realised how annoying it is for other people to witness me not giving a fuck.

But then I realised I don't give a fuck about that either

23 Comments
2024/04/12
14:16 UTC

105

Cats know.

1 Comment
2024/04/12
08:49 UTC

11

A technique for reducing anxiety, fear & depression...

1 Comment
2024/04/12
00:44 UTC

1

Life is a Eucharist

1 Comment
2024/04/12
00:17 UTC

0

Can y’all give me some tips?

I was going 60 in a school zone and ran over two kids. I just drove away. I try not to think about it but it’s been poking around in my head for a while now. I’ve been practicing meditation and honestly it’s been a little bit of a help but not much.

Any tips on how to not give a fuck?

10 Comments
2024/04/11
21:00 UTC

106

Why Do I Give So Many Fucks?

Ever wondered how you ended up giving so many fucks? This load of fucks often starts small—just a few here and there—and then, without you noticing, it explodes. What’s the tipping point? Where do all these fucks come from? It's usually from trying too hard to please everyone or fearing we’ll miss out. Suddenly, you're swamped with a shitload of worries and responsibilities that might not even belong to you.

It’s crucial to check your fucks balance. Which fucks are worth giving? Which should you drop? Lightening your fuck load can seriously declutter your mind and make life a hell of a lot more enjoyable. Take a moment to evaluate—drop those unnecessary fucks and focus on what truly matters.

10 Comments
2024/04/11
19:05 UTC

11

Give less fucks. Don´t try to control things. Don´t try to control life

1 Comment
2024/04/11
17:59 UTC

33

Socrates, "If you want to be wrong then follow the masses." You should Not care about the what masses think about you and have self-belief and confidence in yourself.

If you like this post message me to join our self-help group.

Hey guys,

Its just a thought I have today. I belief that some of the foundation for self-confidence is to start by ignoring the masses.

You need to trust your instint and follow what your heart tells you.

1 Comment
2024/04/11
17:26 UTC

6

Why aren’t some of the people in my life happy with my personal growth?

The people in your life are used to certain behaviors from you. They’re used to you ceding your boundaries, people pleasing, and constantly doing nice things for them in the hopes that they’ll give you what you want or treat you nicely in return.

Once you start asserting yourself, setting boundaries, and asking for what you want, some of the people in your life might not react to that in a positive way.

These types of relationships usually fall away as you continue to grow. You may decide to end the relationship completely, or reduce your level of involvement with them significantly. You can continue to find people in your life who are a better fit.

Don’t let their negative reactions throw you off track.https://youtu.be/htPhV2U4PCw

[Click here to watch the video.]

Head on over to NiceGuyDiscord.com and connect with other guys there, too.

1 Comment
2024/04/11
16:42 UTC

211

Who gives a f*ck about people calling you selfish for doing what is best for you

5 Comments
2024/04/11
13:30 UTC

57

No Diddy

3 Comments
2024/04/11
10:07 UTC

51

I am I

1 Comment
2024/04/11
09:26 UTC

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