When I say something unpleasant, I always kind of smile or nervously laugh and want to stop doing that but struggle.

Anyway, how do you say no,in general and not water it down?

How do you say no when family asks you to visit them all the time but they consistently promise to visit you and don't keep their word? Or how about when they talk shit to you, like about your weight or they can't express their opinions on an issue without insulting you?

What if you are about to quit a job and some co-workers ask for your number to stay in touch but you don't want to deal with them anymore because they talk about you behind your back or they engage in shady behaviors outside of work (like selling drugs)?

Also, why do people laugh or make fun of you when they ask you a direct question and you just say "no" and nothing else?

like if your boss asks you if you can come in and work an extra shift but they give you a choice and you say, "no" with a straight face. I have tried to say that at my current job or past jobs and people make fun of me.

I don't have anyone to blame besides myself for the situation and the life I'm living in right now. My family had given me lot of support to change my life for the better but not once did I take the advantage to work on my life. And right now I'm not even talking to my family and relatives like I used to in the past because I'm carrying this burden of shame, regret and confusion. I just hate how I've become and I don't even understand why have I even turned this way. My insecurities have turned into ego and self pride or something, like deep down I just want to go and ask for help or get some advice but I end up not doing it. Because all I think about is I'll probably get judged or get made fun of so I don't reach out.

I never tried anything in life nor have I put full effort in anything. And I easily give up when things get hard or confusing. I lack mental resilience and emotionally get overwhelmed. I just want to overcome my fears and live a normal life like everybody else and fulfill my role in this life. But I'm so scared to face life. I let myself down and those who believed in me. People think I'm this smart capable strong person when in reality I'm just the total opposite sighs. It's not that I hate others is just I don't want to put myself down towards others and I just hate like why am I distancing myself from my loved ones.

It's a journey ... you have to climb the mountain to enjoy the view from the top

Won't find a single one.

I’m a 26M, and I’ve always been too sensitive. I take everything seriously, cry over small things, and if something bad happens, I panic and keep thinking about it for hours. I take others’ opinions personally and am constantly scared and anxious about everything. This sensitivity makes me an easy target for manipulators, especially my older brother. He humiliates me by saying I can’t do anything in life due to my disability, calling me dumb and annoying whenever I try to socialise. It’s so deep rooted that I feel anxious whenever I try to do anything on my own. I’m scared to express myself or make decisions because I think I’m dumb. I also automatically start talking in a low voice out of fear of saying something stupid.

At work, I struggle with this as well. One colleague made fun of my voice, and now I’m scared to say anything. Another commented on my disability, and since then, I’ve been scared to go out in public. People’s words shatter my self-esteem, and I believe whatever I see or hear, which leads me to constantly worry and overthink. When my manager gives me extra work, I feel too scared to say no because I heard from others that saying no could ruin my reputation and lead to bad feedback. I’m terrified of losing my job and feel stuck overthinking about this.

Even with friends, I can’t fully open up. They tease each other comfortably, but I’m scared to join in because whenever I tried, it backfired. I’d end up feeling upset, sometimes crying, and then they would stop talking to me. I feel like people immediately stop talking to me when they realize how sensitive I am. How can I stop being too sensitive and start to become more carefree?

Im thinking of recreating the 100 days of rejection that Jia did 12 years ago for rejection therapy but in a more modern context. I'm having trouble coming up with things to do or requests to make to strangers to search for rejection. Any ideas?

It's hard for me to actually stand up for myself and I'm always saying sorry. I'm trying, but there is always that one person that makes me feel bad about myself. I already have low self esteem.

So there is this friend who hasn’t contacted me for 3+ months and then asked me to her birthday party. When it was my birthday she texted me on the night of my party, saying she had had a nap and now wasn’t going to bother coming. I set up three lunches with her at work in January February and March, everytime she suddenly declined on the day, without apology. There is another colleague who I stopped talking to, since she was very toxic towards me. She told the first friends’ boyfriend to contact me and harass me about why I don’t talk to her anymore. Of course I didn’t give any details or drama for them to fuel off. Now the first friend is asking me to the party and I said no as I’m scared the old toxic friend will be there and the first friend has not been a good friend to me anyway. Since I said I’m busy and can’t make it, instead of just saying oh no worries, she texts me with “how are you doing anyway? I never see you around work now and you take days to respond. That is unlike the person i know you to be. Did I upset you? I am really concerned about you”

Despite the fact the last text I got from her was 3 months ago and the last time I saw her was in September where she only wanted to see me to get gossip about my life.

How would you respond to this painfully annoying text ? I don’t want to give them any information and want to make it clear, I don’t do parties now with them. If she is sooo bothered or concerned about me, then she can ask me for a coffee or lunch at work, but she hasn’t. Sounds bothered.

Hello there

I have to ne much more not giving a fuck, does anybody know a good Book for help me in that way ? Or à good app ?

Thank you in advance i really need to

I've always been the type to help and reach out expecting nothing in return. But when I fell and broke and asked for help the one time, they all just left and judged and said we love you we here just can't be here. So now I'm learning to not give a fuck about nobody but me and my kids

I think I am this way because growing up and even now as a grown man, my parents never told me to love myself or to be myself. I remember when I was in high school my dad tried to tell me I needed to try to fit in.

Even to this day, my dad is in his 70s and he is still kind of a people pleaser...like way too much.

I am tired of inviting in disrespect. When I speak my mind, I don't try to be blunt, I try to be tactful. People don't respect people like that. Whenever co workers or family or whoever wants to say something to me, they do so in the most blunt way possible even if it is almost disrespectful.

Fuck all these bullshit ass people and this cold , cruel society we live in.

But I'm not sure how to go about it without swearing lmao. This is for a college class, so its okay if I do a little, but it's meant to be more professional. I'm thinking about like, emphasizing setting boundaries and focusing on yourself and your own circle of control... exc. Basically, I want to give a speech on "Why you should stop giving a fuck 101" but in a professional way that doesn't swear (Excessively). Does anyone have any advice on wording/ phrasing?

I don't know how to not care about other people's feelings and take care of myself. I worry that I'm dragging myself into a terrible life if I don't get this under control. I feel like I'm stuck in my position and I cannot leave. How do you guys leave other people's feelings out of the equation. Especially when you know their feelings are going to be your fault?

How do influencers, celebrities, and other popular figures manage to stay so confident and extroverted, constantly showcasing their strengths without being overwhelmed by fear of envy or potential abuse from those around them???

This has puzzled me for a long time.

When I'm in a position of advantage, I often tend to hide my absolute abilities from the public vision, only revealing what’s necessary. The reason being that I can tangibly feel and have been contacted by the envies from those around me (some were benign and more out of pure anxiety with no bad intentions but mostly were evil and attempting to roll me into an uncreative, intense competition of “winning over” that part of the identity or characteristic in a larger community), and that sucks.

While I’m motivated to work on making a better version of my life, I honestly hate the mental games people play out of jealousy and don’t have the time or energy to be everyone’s “bestie” or a saint to help those out with their anxiety, nor the extra energy to actively identify and fight back these abusive reality games.

I’ve also tried to pretend to look confident & carefree, focused on my growth for a while, but deep down, the negative voices and perceivable pressure from others wear me down.

I even don’t understand how some people can confidently wear sexy clothes on top of the curves they dedicated and cultivated, knowing they might attract jealousy and anxiety in the room.

Maybe it’s just my imagination, but it baffles me and I hope to find some inspiration from the open discussion!!! Ty!!