how to not give a fuck is the paradoxical problem-free philosophy
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So, last night was out with a friend and my husband and off to see the Across the Spiderverse. . . husband is wearing a Venom tank top. Before the film we're wandering around the area, and a group of about 7 rowdy boys (probably 12-14) walked by and one goes "you guys look <r-slur>" and guffawed. I yelled out "THANK YOU" in response, which the kid didn't understand. . .
. . . this is what I mean when I say that getting disapproval from certain people is preferable.
I had this people-pleasing tendency ever since I grew up and now I'm trying to think more about myself. So every time I say something against what my past self would say I go into a spiral of thoughts and it fucking exhausts me.
For example, me and this girl, we have this idk pact kinda thing to bunk the same days and etc. so she had some other work come up and isn't going to work so even I called it a day off. But when I tell my friends I'm not going to work they always think I'm doing whatever my other friend is doing which is not true. She has also bunked multiple times when I didn't want to go, but nobody manages to remember that .
So yea what I'm trying to say is that this small incident is making me question everything I'm doing in life. I've been thinking about this for the past 2hours i think. How do I stop caring about what people think about me?
Hello everyone, I have been struggling with this for a very long time and am in need of serious advice.
The ignorance on the internet as we all know, is overflowing. Wrong news, misinterpreted statements, incorrect information, rumors and so on. However the worst thing is, even the simplest incorrect input can receive likes and praise by an unbelievable amount of people which spreads the ignorance even further.
I have this instagram account where I normally avoid any kind of post outside my interests. But social media being social media, my discover is full of content that makes me cringe and I sometimes dive in when bored.
This post in particular was about a field I am more or less an expert in. The account delivered correct information which could be misinterpreted because of some murmuring in the speech. But the context should give any person who is experienced in that field the hint that what’s being told is correct.
(By the way, this is not a “controversial topic” or anything where there can be multiple explanations, but something like… how division works in basic math)
In the comments section there were many smartasses that jumped on the train to “show how they know better” by holding on to a misinterpretation which didn’t even grammatically make sense. When I pointed it out, I was attacked by people who probably don’t even know half of what I know. I even went further to find actual evidence to prove that it was correct. They didn’t comply.
I ended up being treated like the ignorant one who got angry over nonsense, and they lived happily ever after.
I know, avoiding such environments is the fastest solution but that’s not always possible. I see some debaters mastering the art of keeping calm even in the most extreme cases. Do you know and practice a way to keep calm during an after a frustrating argument like this?
I am guilty of being too nice, some appreciate, but long term it can be annoying, some use it/you. Ever thought about what you really want to say or be, but we tend to adapt to people and places etc, survival sometimes. But it can make you feel crappy sometimes. what are some stories or advice or anything.
I am focusing on being myself, calm, grounded, and stern, all while keeping my mercy, kindness and all. But not giving into those people who WE have to adapt to, rather then making agreements. We all know someone who, we always have to be the one to back down or be sensible, they always lead, and when you try to get a say so, they do not like that. and it can start a fight even, as if they were entitled.
So , to prevent this, start off being that person that is straight, calm, and strong. To prevent holes that can be exploited by others? Or to save yourself pain later on since you were nice, they took it a certain way, and were shocked when you were giving them a no, or just being able to have rights, shocked and almost like, offended, how dare you ? you are supposed to be this person or that person. As if we cannot change day to day, we learn each day do we not?
More of a rant, but hey, tired of adapting, it is good to be able to, but also it is good to be able to stand up and be strong with your head high and those people that are users, they can tell. It is when you are not like that at first, then change to that strong person, that they can become hostile or act as if you are expected to act toward them with that same politeness no matter what.
So whats up, are you an easy going , nice, compromising person, or are you the other one? What is in the mind of those folks?
Hey guys, I'm a 20F who's been under alot of stress lately, all this stress has lead to me feeling under confident, lower self esteemed and sad all the times, I have been crying alot lately and think this might be really not healthy for me.
Firstly I am currently struggling to accept the fact that I come from a household of 3 other people my mom, my dad and my elder brother who are fighting their own problems everyday and no matter how much I try, I can't really help them because I'm just a kid for them. I can only love them but I feel like giving up, isolating myself, punishing them with silence when they fail to misunderstand me and just working on myself in a way that I'm enough without them. But the truth is that I truly love them and no matter how hard it gets or whatever decisions I take, I want them to be with me. So, it's just a struggle to accept that this is the consequence of my actions only. It's hard loving people after all.
Secondly I feel extremely guilty all the time for not having a source of income like I used to before all my life took a turn. Even though I'm trying to focus on upskilling, I am constantly questioning myself that if I'm really good enough for anything. So, my struggle is accepting that it's okay and that I need to start acting my age right now by just doing my best and being dependent on my parents because they're only investing in me. I am struggling with accepting that I am still just a kid.
Thirdly I feel like I'm not good enough for any relationships of any kind and that I should be left alone because I've my own struggles and managing to love my people along with that is a task that I'm not good at. And all I've ever learned to do is run away than actually facing anything. I've tried to avoid pain by not allowing myself to make mistakes instead of protecting myself from pain which has only made me a coward. I feel like I keep dissapointing my boyfriend, even though he keeps helping me and supporting me, I just keep pushing him away, because I feel like I'm not good enough for him and he deserves better, I feel like such a mess all the time and I don't want to be a load on him, but I really really like being with him.
Lastly I ignore my feelings to be more desirable for people, even my boyfriend keeps saying I need to stop being so fake and a people pleaser, I have almost cancelled our dates just to get some college work done for my friends. I pretend to have my shit together even when I don't. I hate looking weak because I don't want people to worry about it and I struggle with opening up because I'm scared of being misunderstood by the people I expect to know how to handle me when I open up to them. I always think of myself as a strong independent woman and don't want to be or feel weak in front of anyone, not even my boyfriend, even though he know's who I really am, its just so hard for me to accept my reality.
It's like I distract myself with work when I'm sad instead of actually feeling my feelings, and then I sit alone and find a empty space to just cry and cry over and over again.
I don't know whether this is a call for help or just a ranting session, but I need some kindness, solutions, motivation and uplifting comment's really bad right now!
This girl that I used to be friends with years ago will not stop talking shit about me. Calling me all different kinds of names and talking to my friends about me and even said something to my partner abt me. How do I even go about handling this.
I’m suffering from low self esteem issues and have no confidence. People say negative stuff about me n I don’t know if I should respond back or just agree. I don’t know how to handle all the stuff thrown at me. And my confidence takes a bit again. Any suggestions will do. Thank you