Idk if this is because I stopped giving a f about what they care about or what other people are thinking

"The art of not giving a fuck is of vital importance to your state of mind. It is a matter of being content and being distressed, a road to either inner peace or total chaos. Because when it comes to matters you should give a fuck about, you should give a fuck about what matters most to you."

Being in Boston is a unique experience not to be compared with anything else, there is all these fun things to do so you’re bound to find someone to connect with. If you go out to the bars, you’ll be sure to find people that can talk your ear off given the opportunity. But must be willing to put aside, racist prejudices to explore Boston in its entirety. There are still some areas like the Southie that don’t have a high African-American presence because it still has racist tendencies.

For the most part, it’s where the white people can retreat and feel comfortable in themselves, they don’t give you too much of a fuss when you come to join them in fact most are welcoming. We take our sports very serious so if you’re not a fan get out of town quite simply . Since the legalization of marijuana, we’ve seen that the use is equal across all races, there have been improvements in attitude and treatments for other disorders, the wide ranges of things that marijuana can treat on a temporary basis. Currently, I am under combination therapy, not recommended by my doctor .

This is the stablest I’ve been.

The healthcare system is absolutely amazing, the food in the correction of facilities and hospitals are amazing. Money goes into the care of the patients and people institutionalized. Hospitalizations are not as scary as they used to be back in the day people would go missing, thank God I was being tracked and cared for the whole time. Throughout all my new England stays, I can say that Corrigan was the most comfortable.

So yes I’m crazy-

It’s genuinely so frustrating to me. When I’m alone, away from any outside influences, I feel like I’m on top of the world. I love myselffully and I believe that I’m perfect as I am.

But as soon as someone says, otherwise, it’s like a stab in the heart . Suddenly, I’m trying to do everything in my power to make them think I am “perfect”. I act different, which is obviously seen as inauthentic. I desperately try to get their validation.

If anyone has any tips on how to stop this, please let me know

"People will often tell you to ignore people, that's their advice is to ignore people, but some things can't be ignored, some things ought to be addressed and they either A rarely do it themselves or B don't know anything about how to be assertive. Sure it can work sometimes, but sometimes silence becomes compliance and there's a difference between ignoring people and setting boundaries.

What you should do is be assertive and speak up. Question people's behaviour, if something makes you uncomfortable, say it makes you uncomfortable, if something is inappropriate, say it's inappropriate and if you're not going to tolerate something anymore, say you're not going to tolerate it. When it comes to setting healthy boundaries who gives a fuck what other people think?"

My partner and I argue over the most smallest, stupid things and it has become more frequent recently. At first it was ok, but these questions and how he is speaking to me is resulting in me becoming defensive and so angry.

I am not an angry person but I am so over the questions he is asking. I find them not necessary and takes up ALOT of my energy.

• he would ask questions without an answer “why would you think like that?” “Why didn’t you think of this”
• why would you do this way first? (Referring to why I put things back a certain way)

For me, I can’t explain how or why I do things. I don’t know and I honestly don’t care. It feels like I’m being micromanaged on a daily basis. He always criticises or gives me feedback for the way I talk so on top of that I feel like he looks down at me.

So now everytime he asks me a question, even if it is reasonable, I explode. I don’t want to talk or ask questions to him because he would ALWAYS ask why why why. I just want to take it easy and have a straight forward normal conversation, why is it so hard.

THE 7 DEADLY FUCKS TO GIVE:

Fear, doubt, hatred, jealousy, misery, resentment and lovelessness.

1. Fear: Spending too many of your precious fucks on fearing for the future or worrying about the past, rather than having the courage to love yourself and live in the present moment.

2. Doubt: Spending too many of your precious fucks on doubting yourself and listening to negative thoughts, rather than focusing on positive things and improving yourself to be the best that you can.

3. Hatred: Spending too many of your precious fucks on hating others, rather than loving others as you love yourself.

4. Jealousy: Spending too many of your precious fucks on being jealous of others, rather than competing with yourself and being content with who you are.

5. Misery: Spending too many of your precious fucks on being upset about things which you cannot change, rather than doing things which make you happy and fulfilled.

6. Resentment: Spending too many of your precious fucks on being consumed by rage, rather than healing from your past traumas and finding the inner peace you so desperately need.

7. Lovelessness: Spending too many of your precious fucks on trivial things, rather than caring about yourself and others, as well as the things that really matter.

There's some people in this world who can have bad/disappointing/frustrating/negative things simply happen to them - with little drama and little effect on the rest of their day/week, or their current/future emotions.

They dent up their car right after buying it? Sigh and get it fixed. (I'd be wound up for ages and probably tell everyone I met)

Miss an important appointment? Oops, rebook it. (I'd beat myself up about it and then worry about not missing the next one)

Get sick on vacation and miss a bunch of stuff? These things happen, rest and wait it out. (I'd be grumpy about getting unlucky long after I got better)

Unintentionally upset a friend over text? Apologise for the misunderstanding and move on. (I'd probably over explain and then stay awake at night wondering about why it happened and if they hated me)

Make a mistake at work with a negative consequence? Thats a shame, will try not to make that mistake again. (I'd feel awful for ages and convince myself I'm losing my job)

These people seem to just not put the same weight on things as I appear to. A lack of overthinking. They just accept negative experiences as part of their life and don't dwell on them too much.

How do I be more like them? Even when there's blame in their corner, or a significant impact on them, they appear to see things as something that just isn't worth the mental effort, and I envy the calmness.

"The supreme art of not giving a fuck is to subdue your emotions without being consumed by them. Choosing to refrain rather than react, so that you may express your emotions in the right moment."

Or to rephrase the question do you think you have the mental fortitude to know that your friends your family people that don’t even like you have seen your womans privates.

I think if you were a couple in the business maybe, but if you were left out and she just is getting all these guys taking her down, it’s obvious the one not as as intimate with the other/ having multiple is obviously just a glutton for punishment.

Do you think that would bruise your ego?

TLDR at bottom

Also, I’m very sorry if this isn’t the right sub—I just stumbled across it the other day! Please feel free to point me in the right direction if necessary!

My first love and I broke up at the beginning of June. Not long after, I started seeing a guy from my university—I knew he had a reputation for being promiscuous, and I was very much okay with that because I didn’t want anything emotionally involved. We continued to see each other all summer and made things official in October.

We had an alright relationship. I had a heavy course load and as such didn’t have much emotional energy to invest in the relationship—which, again, I didn’t want anything too emotional. However, after a few months, I began to question why we were in a relationship at all if we had very little (if any) emotional connection. I brought this up with him a few times. I felt like I was putting in a lot of effort into the relationship—I loved to go out of my way to make him feel special—and I wasn’t getting that back. I brought this up with him a few times, too, and each time I would see small improvements.

We decided to break up in February. It was a very mutual decision. We were too stressed around each other.

Two weeks after we broke up, I found out he had been cheating on me. He had pursued a girl in his class roughly a week before we made the decision to break up. They had been texting and they even met up once (though they both assured me nothing happened then) while he and I were still together, and I was still posted on his Instagram.

I wasn’t sad about the cheating, and I’m still not—I’m moreso angry and disgusted. I’m embarrassed, too, because SO many people warned me not to get involved with him. He told me that behavior of his was in the past, and I believed him. He proved everyone right and I feel like an idiot. I got an STI panel done and it all came back negative, thankfully. I still feel so anxious walking around campus for fear of running into him. The worst part: we’re studying the same major, and it’s not a large department. We will inevitably have classes together and pass each other in the hallways. We have the same in-class friends and the same professors.

I want to be civil with him. I want to be able to say hi in the hallways. I would love to just forget he exists and perceive him as a stranger, but our forced proximity on campus makes that damn near impossible—coupled with our shared major, it really is impossible. I just want to get to a point of civility where I’m not hung up on what he did to me.

How can I stop giving a fuck about him?

TLDR: I was cheated on, and the guy who cheated on me goes to my same university and we’re in the same major. How do I not give a fuck about him and what he did to me, and be able to be civil with him?

5 Lessons Of Love:

1. True strength is empowering myself and those around me. Therefore I should be loving enough to take action to empower myself and other people.

2. People don't care as much as I might think, this is freeing because it means I shouldn't worry about others opinions of me and I should be grateful for those who genuinely care about me.

3. I shouldn't waste my time on toxic people or things which add unnecessary stress to my life, I should focus on doing things which are beneficial to myself and others.

4. I should treat myself and other people with dignity and respect, meaning I do no harm and take no crap. Instead of focusing on our differences and things which separate us, I should focus on our similarities and things which unite us together.

5. What matters the most is that I be the best version of myself, that I care for my friends and family and that I help other people whenever I can. Because loveliness isn't worth giving a fuck about.

i do not want to sound arrogant or anything but i'm prettier than the average people around me. for the longest time, i believed that i had a problem or was cursed because of how certain people (females, unfortunately) treated me. i've been hurt both emotionally and physically by many of them. most of the time i wouldn't even know their names and they'd treat me extremely rude. to the point that i believed everyone was just horrible and life just wasnt worth living. i actually had to start going to therapy and use medication because i genuinely believed that they would hurt me again. it never accrued to me it happened because of my looks since my less attractive friends would love seeing me miserable and anxious. then later in college my boyfriend and my other (pretty) friends cleared it up for me that there was nothing wrong with me and it was just because i was pretty. the problem is, i dont know how to stop getting affected by it. how can i practice detachment? is there a way for me to not to care since i cant change the way i look?

I have a friend who I’ve known since middle school, but we’ve grown alot closer during our years in university together. Something about this friend incites jealousy and envy by the way she speaks and acts. I truly don’t want to have these feelings and have it dictate my actions. But something about her always seemed very prideful and dominant. She’s an extrovert, and never afraid to express herself, which is something I admire her for but can get carried away I feel. Can someone give their two cents on whether my friend might be a narcissist, or is it simply just my insecurities? She’s loud and very expressive, whereas I’m quite the opposite, quiet and reserved. She would say things like “Oh, I always know I’m going to get the things that I want”. I would give my insight on topics in our conversations but to me it feels like she would top it off with something bigger. For instance, I was telling her about a cousin of mine that recently got into Law School, both our families are 1st gen immigrants and all of our family were genuinely happy for her accomplishment. My friend then goes, “Yeah, I already know someone like that and went to the same place” and this made me feel like she just brushed it off. Her and I share this love for a celebrity/musician and went to a concert together. There, I felt her cattiness there a lot more. She looked me up and down and said, “I can’t believe that’s the shirt you decided to get” and looked at the heels I wore and pointed them out as if they didnt belong to me. She made the whole trip about her hidden frustration about our other friend that came with us, and made me feel like the middle man in the situation which I didn’t appreciate in the end because I knew I wouldve enjoyed it so much better if my friend just kept it to herself and knew she just told me all of it to get me on her side. I kind of want to cut her off, but in a mannerful way. I just want to stop caring about what she thinks because she makes me feel so self-conscious about myself. She truly believes she knows people better than themselves and speaks propechies over them. The other day, I was telling her about a potential lover and decided to cut me off saying she sees me with another type of guy, which I think she couldnt be more wrong. Idk maybe i’m just insecure. My friend also says all the time “my friends now are going to be in my life forever” and “everyone around me is going to be so successful” but again something tells me its not really about their own successes, but more so about her getting to say she’s close with high-status people. As I’ve come to know her more, my friend truly feels very possessive over every situation shes in, and the people around her. How can I stop caring about what she thinks and go my own way in life?