https://youtu.be/tQEbP_tcMIA?si=GFxA4v3YdcFHImUw

Today, I decided to face my demons head-on. I wrote down my deepest, darkest secrets and handed them over to ChatGPT like, “Here, make this motivational.” Every time I felt lazy, I’d pull out one of those points and think, “Well, this sucks, but screw it—I’m gonna crush it anyway.”

i am not allowed to send photos so you can see my list of deepest darkest secrets right here, ofcourse i blurred it lol, also if this is also not allowed please let me know

Honestly, it was tough. Reliving stuff I’d rather forget wasn’t fun, but I kept at it for the experiment. What hit me was that pain really does sharpen your focus. It’s like a wake-up slap from life saying, “Get moving!” So, here I am, fired up and ready to tackle this goal, even if it’s hard as hell.

I’m struggling really hard here. I’m 33 and I feel like a child around every one. At work, at home, in public. I feel like everyone else is better and more important than me. I feel like my opinion doesn’t matter and that my words mean nothing. This feeling has caused me to be quiet and introverted. It has led me to drinking and addiction (8ish years sober now). You can go through my history and read about some of my past. But my mom had me at 17, was forced to give me up for adoption by her very Catholic parents. She did get me back with the help of my dad’s mom (my dad has alcohol issues and they never worked out). I actually didn’t know about the adoption part until I was 14 and was only told by mom before my dad could tell me because they had gotten into an argument and that was the threat from my dad.

Even though I know my mom wanted me, her and my stepdad made sure I knew how much they sacrificed for me. And that I had no reason to complain (aka talk about my feelings) because they gave me a great life (they did their best to provide a good middle class life and I even traveled outside of the US a few times). We also moved around a lot. I went to 7 different schools and wasn’t the best at making friends but I did have a group of friends.

Now at 33 I know I am smart and attractive (from experience, really not trying to brag here). I have no reason why I should not be confident. I am embarrassed about my addiction phase but I have turned my life around. I have a good behind the scenes job at a bank, I’m now in college. I’m married to a wonderful man.

My mom does have custody of my daughter (very long story hit my mom thought I was worse than I actually was and still paints me as a trashy addict to this day despite my best efforts to show her I am not the same person). She has money so she dragged out the custody fight and now my daughter has lived with her longer than me so it’s a big change if I were to get her full time but we have a better relationship now and she stays over regularly. While this has played a huge role in my confidence issues I know I don’t need to meet my mom’s high standards. I of course have high standards for myself but my mom can’t get past my addiction part of my life.

I just struggle with being confident enough in myself to know I’m worth what I bring to the table. It shows at work. My boss has said I need more confidence. He is very supportive and wants me to succeed but knows I struggle with networking and being assertive.

I’m just looking for advice on how others may have gone through something similar. I have been in and out of therapy for many years, have tried shrooms (maybe I haven’t tried enough yet to break through?). I’m trying to change the way I see myself and speak to myself but it’s still hard.

what do you think about this? The best way to grow is through discipline, with motivation as the initial push. Motivation is the boost, but discipline is what keeps you going. To maintain that momentum, you need a push, and what’s more motivating than PAIN? Think about it—when you're hurt, like after a breakup, once you move past the pain, you’re driven to do something productive. Pain fuels motivation.

well I am a man of curiosity, Starting Monday, I'm diving into a 7-day research journey and will log my daily findings on reddit :)

what do you think let me know

researcher Shrit 🚀

Not sure where to put this or what’s even happened but after a long, busy week of speaking to so many different and driven people as a aspect of my job, I have begun to ruminate on who I am and what I have (read: haven’t) done. I went on LinkedIn and looked at different connections, different peers and city officials, etc who have made a name for themselves already. I think it’s finally hit me, really sunk in, that I haven’t been special lately. I’ve never been special. Sure, I led different things during my senior year of college and yes, I was an organizational President, and joined a sorority, and was a service trip leader and a bit more, but what is there to show for it? I won no awards, no plagues, no honors for academics. Nothing. Just a piece of paper. My confidence as a successful person worthy of achievement has been shaken since November 2023 when I didn’t qualify for a large position on campus (or the opportunities that usually follow it) and now, since I’ve graduated college, I’ve been in a space with people who have already done so much work, and have had so much experience..It makes me feel like I don’t belong here. I’ve done ONE thing (that failed, mind you) and prior to that all of my life was just theory. Different things happened to me and I kinda just accepted them. I took them lying down. I know everyone has a different story and this is actually the perfect time to DO something like I’ve always wanted but why does it feel like I’m playing catch-up? Like I’m pretending? Like every aspiration or dream or high thought I’ve ever held about myself has been a lie? How do I change this? What am I lacking?

(Be helpful, harsh, whatever. Just be honest with me, please)

A man was walking through a barren field, where a farmer was sowing seeds. After a couple of weeks, the man was near the field and was surprised to see there were no saplings from the seeds sown...and was even more surprised to see the farmer still watering and fertilizing the land.

He started watching this everyday...almost for 5 years! The land was still barren, and the farmer was still doing his duty, diligently!

He cldnt stop himself. He asked the farmer 'Why are you putting your efforts on a land that's infertile and seeds that wldnt grow?' The farmer said 'Just a few more days and you will know why'!

One fine morning, the man was surprised to see bamboo sprouts everywhere in the field. He was astonished to see the speed at which they were growing...reaching 80 feet within 6 weeks!

Wow!! that was his response!

Now the farmer told the man...'The seeds were not dead...but they were preparing themselves to grow into a mammoth tree! They were spreading their roots all these years, so that when the bamboo grew, it will have a strong foundation to stand upon! Some efforts may not have immediate results. But when it shows, you cannot stop it! That's what makes the Chinese bamboo tree a synonym of determination, patience, conviction, and human potential.'

Some of our efforts are like the Chinese bamboo seeds. They may not give us Success instantly. The wait cld be slow, frustrating and unrewarding...make us feel dejected and give up. But we can't stop nurturing our dream.

To grow into a 80 feet tall tree, the roots must be strong enough to hold it.

The kind of Growth that you seek in your life...it requires your non-negotiable commitment towards it! Many give up when they don't see results instantly. Success is not coffee or instant noodles, isn't it :) Ask those whom you look up to about the time that it took them to taste success!

The setbacks you face is helping you to Learn and become better. The judgements you receive are giving you another Perspective. The ear that situations throw at you is to help you rise above. Rejections are to remind you that you can do much better and your Potential is INFINITE!

When you shift your focus from 'success' to Learning, you will see that you are no more worried about the 'time' it is taking to see success. Rather, the more you learn, you become better and get what you want sooner!

Don't give up on your dreams just bcos it didn't work out this time...bcos time will anyways pass. Why not do what we really love to do, give our 100% and create that humongous success just like the Chinese bamboo tree!

Learning about yourself will only make you better every moment. Make you realise that you are Infinite...even if you don't believe it!

Love & Light 🌻

Anu Krishna

How do you stay informed and knowledgeable about various topics? I feel like I'd be more confident if I did too. Any tips or resources you recommend?

The most perfect analogy that can be given to our mind! Just impossible to keep in control...🤯🤯

Yes...the more you try to control it, it is going to evade you! Can we try to understand our mind?

Would that help us to discover more about us - our mind and realise 'What do we need to learn in order to Master this most powerful entity in this universe?

This article talks about the possibility of taking charge of our mind...than trying to 'control', leading to better life experiences, more happiness, growth and success!

Please feel free to share your thoughts too!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/your-mind-taking-you-circles-hopping-from-present-past-anu-krishna-e3nnf/?trackingId=jng5ogowSk2DlSEghTcTVw%3D%3D

Love & Light 🌻

Anu Krishna

Every time I push myself out of my comfort zone it backfires.

The most recent example being getting public transport instead of a Taxi in a foreign country, I ended up getting on the wrong train somehow despite being on the correct platform at the correct time and ending up completely in the wrong direction (I guess I wasn’t Xd), then I ended up getting a more expensive taxi back in the right direction.

I’m proud I keep putting myself out there but I just always fail and just think “I’m an idiot, just don’t put yourself out there”

I was thinking about travelling for 3 months but if I can’t even get on a train going in the right direction what’s the point.

/Sigh

I want to organize a workshop for people who struggle with social anxiety, to help them build confidence in a social setting. Sort of like aversion therapy for the socially awkward, like me.

A workshop that gives tips on how to navigate social situations, models good introductions and conversation starters, teaches conversion skills, and gives people time to practice what they learn in a safe environment, with other people who also struggle with low confidence and social anxiety.

1. Would you sign up for something like that?

2. What would you be willing to pay for registration? (to cover a trainer and the space)

3. Which time and day would you prefer?

A. Friday night B. Saturday night C. Tuesday evening D. Sunday afternoon.

Thank you for your honest responses!

I am a guy. Whenever I am on the street other guys give me attitude (usually guys in groups or in pairs), either looking at me agressively or looking at me derisively or just making themselves really tall. I always cave in physically when this happens. I become really insecure and start:

• looking around frightened (look at other people whether they are looking at me with frightened gase)
• start dropping my shoulders, lose core strength unable to walk straight with shoulders back
• start ruminating
• it then triggers more negative reactions from other people because i look like an easy target

Afterwards I feel like shit because it feels like others have one yet again. What can i do about this? I already work out (went from 127 lbs to 180 lbs and am 6.1 but i have a slim bone structure).

To be transparent and open, please read the following disclaimer:
I have posted this on r/GetMotivated**, but I thought, people that might read this sub only could benefit from it as well! If there is only one person that benefits from this, then it was a good day for me and hopefully to you!**

Confidence isn't something we're born with - it's a skill that can be developed through practice and personal growth. It plays a crucial role in our lives, shaping our relationships, careers, and overall well-being.

So, what is confidence? Confidence is about having trust in your abilities and yourself. It empowers you to face challenges, make decisions, and handle uncertainties with resilience.

Achieving confidence takes time and dedication. Start by identifying your strengths - reflect on past achievements, no matter how small, and recognise what comes naturally to you. Regular journaling about your positive traits can and will boost your self-perception and mindset. Start making time for that - 5 minutes a day is enough.

Confidence grows when you set and achieve realistic goals. Begin with small, manageable goals and celebrate your progress. Push yourself by stepping slightly out of your comfort zone regularly - this is where true growth happens.

Confidence is a continuous journey. By understanding its essence, recognising your strengths, and embracing challenges, you can build a lasting sense of self-assurance that empowers you in every aspect of life.

Take matters in your own hands! You can absolutely crush this!

soar.

So it’s been a while since I’ve been measured but I believe I’m 5’10.5/5’11 (Male). My height wasn’t something that bothered me for a while until my gf actually mentioned that she wished I was taller. Granted she was drunk and half asleep but ever since that day my confidence has taken a massive dump. I am consistently obsessing about my height every day and it has just destroyed my mental health. I feel like I should’ve been taller but am not due to environmental reasons like my job at 17 (fueling planes with leaded fuel). And has even fueled my ocd. I’m not exactly sure what to do and I know people who are shorter than me may feel worse and I’m not trying to disregard their feelings but I just feel like my height isn’t enough. Any advice?

I'm thinking maybe im neurodivergent or whatever. There is a difference between knowing what you need to to do and wanting to do it.

So when people talk about how whatever you perceive your weaknesses to be, whether it is looks, fitness, height, ethnicity or whatever, all you really need is confidence. Say if go to a bar or club to meet women, the idea is you hold your confidence, you make your case, you keep to your strengths, you shoot your shot or whatever. I get it. My trouble is even if I am genuinely satisfied with myself, who I am, what I look like etc, there is something about me that just does not enjoy playing this "game", that men have to be the one to approach the opposite sex, that men have to make the move, that men have to protect the women or make the case that you can. What if you are just not cut out for this. What if you hate this very idea and dynamic. You might enjoy going to a club or bar, for the music, for your friends, for the company, but hate the whole d*ck measuring theatrics, the whole "who is bigger and stronger" talk. It does not work for you psychologically. In fact, you abhore that society requires this, and this is what you have to do to date women.

Can anyone else here relate to this?

Whenever i go out and I feel small because I don’t have car. I work from home so don’t need car much. But when i go for groceries or gym then i walk. I feel people judge me because I don’t have car or i am the one who is judging myself?

I was going to gym and a guy in car start making faces by looking at me. I ignored but my mind starts overthinking these details. I am migrant in Canada btw if that helps.

We spend most part of our ife looking back - at our past, wishing. Revisiting things that we had did or happened to us...thinking 'If only I had done it differently' or 'Why did it happen to me'...'Wish I had chosen smarter'...'wish I had not done so many mistakes'...

But the fact is...

Our past doesn't define us. Our mistakes don't limit us. What others did to us don't decide 'how we must feel about ourselves.'.

But....only our fears do!

Every day when you wake up...life gives you another chance to do what you really want to do... to let go of that fear... and try again... to be the real, authentic you!

The only thing that's stopping you is.... YOU!

Past is like a rearview mirror... for you to refer to. To be aware of 'what not to do' and 'How to do better'. But you cannot reach your destination by only watching the rearview mirror.

Do not miss out on the experiences the 'now' is giving you. Do not let your past create fear about your future. Understand that it's only 'How you think' can help you create the SHIFT in your life!

Look ahead....as life is in front of you!

Love & Light to you always!

Anu Krishna

ASK Mind Coach

ASK Aware Living by AnantaGuru Foundation

I feel like I’m losing people left and right. I’ve tried to change for the better and mend relationships but I keep ending up making the same mistake or it’s just not got anywhere I try to make it a habit to travel as much as I can but I come to realize I do so as a way to escape this life I am in. I just don’t know what to do.. I don’t want to say I’m depressed but if there were any words to describe how I’m feeling.. it would be depressed and lonely

It doesn’t matter how many times people say I’m (30F) pretty. In my core, I don’t believe it. I don’t know why.

I’ve been single for a very long time, and I am also at a heavier weight than I used to be. (Never been the same since the pandemic.) This makes me feel like I must be unattractive and undesirable, because men are not really asking me out anymore. (I don’t use dating apps, I just like to meet ppl IRL.)

One guy I used to date 3 years ago seems to be showing interest in me, but I still doubt it and think it’s just meaningless flirting and he doesn’t care that much about me. I just think, “He could easily have someone prettier and skinnier, so why would he want me?”

I’m afraid to even believe that a man could be attracted to me, because I just think I’ll make a fool of myself. Any ideas on how to feel more confident, despite my appearance not being up to my own standards?

Does anyone else do this or relate somehow? When I talk to people or if they ask me about myself, i try to keep whatever i say pretty short because I think, why would they want to know about me? I'm probably boring them. I'm not that important. What i'm saying really doesn't have any significance in the grand scheme of things. And then i continue asking questions about them. Why do i do this?!?! I want to value myself more. I'm always putting other people first naturally and putting myself last. 4 seats, 5 people? I will insist on standing. An extra bread roll? I will insist on them having it. I'm always feeling like I don't deserve the good things. How do I fix this.

*

I’m a 5’5 male(full grown) and my height is probably my biggest insecurity. The insecurity spikes depending on the day, or what I’m doing on said day. How do I ignore my height and become more confident? I tend to often use my height as an excuse to not do certain things. How can I get over this? I find my height hinders what I think I’m cable of doing but don’t know how to get over it

Edit: I do attend the gym on a regular basis (atleast 5 times a week)

I don’t want it to crumble after one mean comment or something ! Wanna build it to be resilient or not even be bothered if it’s possible

There is so much info and conflicting info on different diets and exercise modalities. This makes it difficult to know what to follow in order to get lean and fit

Right now my program is offering 4 months of one on one nutrition and fitness coaching to 4 people. It includes custom meal plans, custom workout plans and weekly accountability.

If you are interested you can apply below

https://forms.gle/gqan7XwyE5bqcQxz8

There is so much info and conflicting info on different diets and exercise modalities. This makes it difficult to know what to follow in order to get lean and fit

Right now my program is offering 4 months of one on one nutrition and fitness coaching to 4 people. It includes custom meal plans, custom workout plans and weekly accountability.

If you are interested you can apply below

https://forms.gle/gqan7XwyE5bqcQxz8

For 2 years now, I’ve been wearing a (literal) medical mask (like the ones from the pandemic) when I go to school or when I go outside. I don’t wear it because I’m afraid of getting sick. I wear it because I’m insecure of my teeth. They are straight, however they are really yellow. I’ve tried whitening toothpastes, crest white strips and more but nothing seems to do the trick. Professional whitening is not something I can do right now. This upcoming year is going to be the last year of school before I graduate. I’m thinking of removing my mask, but I’m so afraid of getting made fun of for my yellow teeth, or even loosing friends. Not to mention the presentations I’ll have to do without it on infront of the whole class. What if no one would want to team up with me anymore in group projects? What if people think I’m dirty? Even tho I brush my teeth everyday and have decent hygiene, I’m afraid of people thinking that. I don’t want to become an outcast.

I have some things going for me. I’m 6’1, have a decent income, and treat others the way I want to be treated.

But I feel like I don’t have that “X factor” when talking to the opposite sex. Talking to women that I don’t know makes me really nervous. I don’t think I’ll ever approach a woman at a bar for as long as I live. Because I fear I’ll be looked at as “creepy” when in reality I’m just on the socially awkward side. I have autism, but it is not obvious.

I’m a good listener. But at the end of the day, I just don’t know how to sell myself to others. I understand to “not think so seriously” and to have “good, light-hearted fun.” But that’s just not who I am around new people. I’m a socially anxious mess.

I’ll talk to my therapist tomorrow. But she has no ideas other than putting me on medication.

Hello, I’m 20F and I feel like when I’m out with friends, people are making harsh jokes towards me. Like I have one friend that makes rude comments towards me as a joke and she just continues to ‘joke with me’, even though she knows it’s hurting my feelings. What can I do stand up for myself and not let people be rude to me?

I’m (M19) a rising college sophomore in a fraternity in the south. I moved to the US from Latin American (legally) when I was 12 years old and everyone pretty much knows that, if they don’t know then they can tell by my slight accent. All of my fraternity brothers and acquaintances keep making these racist jokes or teasing towards me and I’m tired of it. I always thought it was gonna go away with time but it has snowballed to everyone doing it all the time, it has been going on ever since I got to college. I never know how to react and most times I just chuckle and don’t know how to tease back. I hate it and it makes me feel really insecure about who I am and where I come from. I’m tired of it and it’s really getting to me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: My friends and acquaintances keep making racist jokes towards me and I don’t like and don’t know how to deal with it. Any advice?

and what steps do you take each day to try and move closer to the dream

Just wondered if you've ever lost your confidence and then managed to reclaim it.

For me, I'm talking more specifically about work but I think there's a bigger picture.

Got into sales around 8 years ago, never done it before but just had a natural flair for it and sold I product I really believed in - before long I was consistently a top 10% performer in the company.

Then the company got bought by an investment firm and the whole culture changed, I lost my confidence selling that particular product so jumped ship to renewables last year.

The director of the company was keen to have me onboard. They had a sales team but none of them ever did any kind of outreach and had a negative opinion of salespeople. I ended up feeling pretty unwelcome and had no support what so ever.

After a year of working from home, cold calling, my mental health got so bad I had to quit.

That was 3 months ago and now I'm considering changing industries completely. My confidence is in the toilet, I get anxiety attacks whenever I feel like I'm being evaluated (interviews, pitches, dates etc) and I just want to take some easy job to avoid this feeling.

Trouble is, all other entry-level roles I'm looking at aren't even half of what I was making before and I know I've enjoyed sales before.

Would love to hear from anyone who's been in this position before or any advice?