Hello everyone, I just wanted to speak on the topic of “double texting” and texting in general. Also being ghosted and the topic of effort and obligation.

Firstly I just wanted to say, I don’t set policy on dating, I’m just a guy on the internet. In the grand scheme of things, my opinion probably doesn’t even really matter. Nevertheless, here is my perspective.

On the topic of “should I double text”, she/he hasn’t text me back “what do I do”.

In the context of two strangers…should you double text? No. Especially the fellas, her phone already let her know you texted. If a person is interested in you, even slightly, a text back is MINIMAL effort and costs nothing. The recipient has seen your notification, if you don’t receive a text back, leave it alone. Modern technology already makes it so you don’t have to ‘confirm’ if you got ghosted by double texting. Your message was delivered. Thats all you need.

You don’t need to wonder why you didn’t get a text back either. In the context of dating between strangers….its a stranger, there could be a million reasons why you didn’t get a response, and those million reasons could have nothing to do with you. The mindset you should have is “well, their loss” or “there’s more fish in the sea”.

There is no obligation between two strangers. Here’s a real life example. For the first time in my life, I went to a club a few weeks back. A very lovely beauty from Spain gave me her number and asked me to link her the following morning for breakfast….I wake up the next day at 1pm with three missed messages from her….i decide to just catch up on some video games because in my life, the enjoyment from the video games was more important to me than continuing communication with this random person, putting in the effort of getting ready and driving to meet up, I just couldn’t be bothered. I was already tired.

Strangers don’t owe each-other anything and don’t matter to each-other. Especially in today’s day and time where people are more antisocial than ever and relationships are so disposable in “swipe” culture. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. You are probably an amazing human.

It’s always the other person’s loss. More than likely they did you a favor. You don’t need those problems.

I had a two hour long coffee date with girl, and things went really well. At least from my perspective. We’re both in college, I’m a sophomore and she’s a freshman. I forgot to get her number on the date, so I just sent her a message through snap asking if she would want to go out again. It’s been about 1hr and I still don’t have a response. So I’m kinda nervous, this was my first, first date since junior year of HS.

I'm a 40yo woman in a long distance relationship with a 40 year old man. He lives in Philadelphia and, I live in Maryland. We don't get to see each other often due to busy work schedules. I travel often for work and he's busy with work and four children from his previous marriage. I've been reminding him for at least two months that I would be in Philadelphia for a speaking engagement this weekend. It seems like there is always an excuse for him nor to see me when I'm in Philadelphia but, he's more than willing to see me in Maryland. This time, he stated that his grandmother is in the hospital, I have no choice but to believe him. However, I think he's hiding something or trying to keep me hidden from others. Any advice?

(23m Midwest if it helps) DISCLAIMER: I'm in a part of my life where a girlfriend is "on the backburner" so to say due to my career plans, and I currently only approach women in places where I feel confident (most recently, my local comiccon) because there aren't many places for young people to interact outside of college. I've had a handful of ex-gfs, but I've been single for like 5 years. I have had a very peculiar issue when it comes to interacting with women I'm interested in. Platonically, I can interact with almost anyone perfectly fine. Thankfully, I grew up and realized that women are just like everyone else, so I can have and could probably maintain a lot of amicable relationships with women I find very attractive. I've got a good sense of humor, and it's not like I'm outright ugly, but I can assure you that I am eccentric. I understand that some girls are just not going to like my energy. My issue arises when I'm romantically interested in a woman, and want to convey that to her. I take too long to get to the point, I choke up, and overall have a huge problem when it comes to taking that dive and being vulnerable. How am I supposed to put my heart out on the table for someone and also be "cool" at the same time? Suffice to say, it hasn't worked out. The rejection never seems to get easier for me, and now, you'd be lucky to even get me to approach a woman I find attractive anymore. Why take up her precious time to make small talk, when I know full well that I'm too much of an avoidant bitch to ask her out anyway?

F(30), struggling with what to do next. My male(32) best friend of over 3 years and I began our friendship on a drunken Christmas party night years ago. I woke up the next day and specifically told him that I did not enjoy it at all and that I was sorry, but we were never going to be more than friends. We still hung out casually, but went our separate ways for a year or so until I ended up very sick in the hospital and having an emergency hysterectomy at 27. He came to visit me and to do so we had to tell the nurses that he was my brother. They all got a giggle out of it, and they all knew that he was not my brother, but since that day we have told everyone that we are brother and sister. Even years later, we even tell anyone we have dated, etc., that we are basically siblings. Since my surgery years ago, we have been almost inseparable. He works near where I live and lives over an hour away and I have been single for five years so although people think it is weird-he stays on my couch up to a couple of times a week typically. We do at least once a week dinner, grocery shop together sometimes, he dog sits for me when I go away. When we hangout he does open my car door or do me small favors but never with any flirtation or crossing any lines. He has a few times over the years, offered the suggestion that we cuddle, etc. but I always politely say no thank you and it is never a pushy or creepy way. The past year or so I have been getting small feelings and finding myself looking at him differently or wondering, if maybe I have more feelings for him than I originally thought or used to. The biggest thing for me was when he recently got into a relationship and I found myself really missing him and feeling sad about it. I was also shockingly relieved when they broke up. Now here is my issue that makes it different than any regular ‘think I’m in love with my best friend’ situation- something that he really wants in life is children. As mentioned above, I had a hysterectomy and cannot have more children. Do I have the right to awaken feelings inside of him knowing that I cannot give him something that is so important to him? Do I have the right to make that decision for him not telling him my feelings to save him from having to go through that? I’m not even sure that I can emotionally handle him turning me down over it either. I know it is a very sensitive situation, but my insecurities majorly about this part of the situation is something really keeping me from trying to decide if I should tell him how I’m feeling. I can feel the dread just thinking about having the conversation all the ways it could go. So help a girl out- should I keep my feelings to myself and continue navigating the world of dating with my best friend by my side for now or do I open Pandora’s box and know that both of us could end up very hurt for very different reasons? Is it selfish of me to put him in that situation? Thanks for your input- and while you are at it if you can tell me why life and love sucks so bad I’d love to know that!

Hello there. I am a 33 year old male, being alone for a very long time now. My 8 year old relationship ended around 3 years ago. About half a year ago i decided to get back in the "game". I tried dating apps, and i tried to make connections irl as well. Since i live in a city about a year ago where i dont know anyone, it is really hard for me just to go out and meet people. The language barrier does not help at all (i am im the process of learning it). I work nightshifts, and mostly on weekends, so this makes things even harder. I tried to go to woman, and i tried to make a conversation, but i was either laughed at, or just ignored. These things happened in public spaces like on the bus, or in a shop (since my options are limited) I am absolutely clueless how to make this happen. What could i do better or different? Or should i just read the signs and give up? I mean love is not for everyone, maybe its not for me. Any advice is appreciated.

I’m F24 my BF 21M got a face tattoo .. we’ve talked about it before and I always told him I don’t like them above the eyebrow and that I’ve never been with someone with that and never would , he always wanted one , after telling me he got it he told me he thought I was always joking when I said that and when we would talk about it , I didn’t know what to say to him , all I said was “ you did something I don’t like at all and now are asking me to just suck it up “ I know it’s his body his choice but now he’s saying I’m breaking up with him over a tattoo and never once did I say we were done I literally couldn’t say anything I was speechless and sick to my stomach

Hi , I have a problem of getting giggling from women after they knew that i have a 10 inch dick which is about as thick as a mineral water bottle , i don't know why are they laughing at , but they often looks into each other like playing with each other and looking at my reaction , i don't know what are they thinking , can anyone explains it ? thanks

The short version: how do I approach this?

The long version:

So it seems like literally every girl I date has some kind of emotional baggage. Be it past relationships, some fucked up shit in their childhood, etc. This isn't to say I don't sympathise with them because I do. But here's were my problems with that come in:

-I'm always given this information before we reach the "I love you" stage. It never fails. Its way too early for me to be knowing your personal information like that. I thought it was common knowledge that you shouldn't trauma dump when you've only known each other for 6 months and only been dating for 2.

-In my experience, every woman I've been with that have that kind of trauma end up being really needy and clingy. I can't have a moment to myself, getting phone calls every 2 minutes and its always venting to me about he said she said bullshit. They also tend to be very jealous. I can't deal with endless trust issues.

-I don't have the patience for constant arguing but its always some kind of argument to the point where I gotta walk on eggshells. Normal relationships shouldn't be like this

PLEASE tell me how to approach this in a healthy way, cause to be fair I don't know how different it'll wind up with this new girl. She seems very nice and I'd like to keep it going but past relationships have completely burnt me out from the "I have ptsd" types

I am in my first year of comp sci (18F) nd i have had a really strong crush on someone i have seen around at a school club. he’s in his third year of comp sci (21M) and helps with organizing the events in this club. I really want to find a way to talk to him and ask him out myself because i when i tell y’all, i’m rlly down bad!! I feel like it’s a harder situation bc not only am i the girl but hes in his third year so theres not much common ground yet. there’s an event that their club has coming up in which they are also giving networking time (with the panelists of the event) but im thinking this is my only shot to talk to him because the club won’t have any more events till next year. How do i even go up and talk to him and what should i say to him without making it awkward. My plan is to talk to him at this event and then follow him on insta later to ask him out over something simple like coffee, a walk, etc (something along the lines of hey this is totally random, but would you be down to grabbing a coffee sometime...too direct?) Another problem is winter break and finals are coming up which means it would be kind of hard to keep something going until jan. so idk if i just go for it rn or later (but i feel like it would be awkward to tell him later) need allll the help navigating this situation lol

So I’m 22 (f) met up with a guy 23 (m) I’ve had my eye on for a while, we matched on Hinge and I made my move, he was pretty quick to invite me over so we went ahead and picked a date bc I tend to be pretty busy, I didn’t go to his house with the intention of doing the deed but it happened because he was just too tempting and I had been celibate for 9-10 months because of a bad breakup, and idk I just gave into temptation ok I was starved😂 ANYWAYS he made it very clear when I was there that he doesn’t want a relationship, and that he’s open to anything and everything. He’s super nice, cute, and easy to get along with, we just have different intentions. I want a relationship and he doesn’t. It’s been about 2 days since we hooked up, and he’s still in contact with me. I think he’s gonna want to see me again since he’s still talking to me and mentioned seeing each other again, and I just wanted to know what yall think I should do at this point because I know I kind of made a mistake doing that when I want a relationship and he doesn’t. Should I cut this at the bud before ‘friends with benefits’ thing starts or see where things go before I make a quick decision? Quick note: I’ve been in a friends with benefits things before and it didn’t end well, so I know how these things typically end but idk. I think we got along really well, considering it was our first time seeing each other it felt very natural. I just don’t want to get hurt because I know how these things go but I do like him.

I’ve been meaning to ask out a friend for a while now, but keep putting it off out of fear of making her uncomfortable or not being able to meet her expectations, particularly seeing that it would be my first relationship and I’m not really a super confident guy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I hope to stop putting it off and do it tomorrow on 11/11

A few minutes ago, I (M28) just broke up with this girl who I have been dating for about 4 months now.

She is from Mexico, and I live in the southeastern US. We met through Hinge a few months ago, and spent about 4 weeks together almost every day before she had to return home to renew her Visa.

The time we spent was amazingly fun. I even bought a couple of conversational Spanish books so that I could learn more of her language (she speaks fluent English and even has a degree in teaching Spanish and French).

After a month passed, I took her to the airport so that she could return home. A couple of days later after we had been talking on the phone to keep on touch, she said that she thought distance might be too hard. So we said goodbye amicably, and I started moving on.

Two weeks later, she messaged me to tell me that she was in love with me (it was very romantic, and had nothing to do with marriage status or trying to get into the US - she wanted to live in Mexico close to her family and maybe someday move north to Canada or to Europe).

I told her that I really liked her as well, but that I was still concerned about the distance. We kind of worked it out to a point where we both decided that as long as we communicated openly, we could keep trying to make it work.

Fast forward to about 3 days ago, and I bumped into someone entirely unexpected. An old flame from my younger years, someone I haven't seen in 13 years - when we last dated.

We decided to try to get caught up over some pizza at a restaurant in town, and we both discovered that we still have a TON in common. She's getting ready to move soon to the next state over. While we were talking, I think we accidentally rediscovered a bit of a spark. But I didn't do anything that I thought I would regret. After all, this started as us just trying to catch up after such a long time, and we both noticed that we seemed to have some feelings for one another that managed to survive this long.

We actually talked for about 6 hours without even realizing it. We met up at 6:30, then moved to the outdoor patio seating when the restaurant closed and stayed there together talking all the way past midnight. And at the end of the night, I walked her to her car, gave her a hug because I didn't want to be too forward or to betray anyone else's feelings, and we went our separate ways after discussing meeting up again this week - also over dinner, but at a somewhat nicer restaurant.

Yesterday, I had plans, so I was busy all day and I used my free time to talk to my best friend and get his advice on the situation. I also talked to two or three other close family members just to get their takes on it. So I went 2 days without talking to the girl from Mexico.

And today, I decided that my feelings conflict with what I want for my own life. I don't know that this old flame and I will rekindle what we had or not, but I knew that I couldn't lead another person on. So, I told her that I was having trouble with our distance and that I wanted her to be happy and to have the family that she has always dreamed of.

I really do care about the girl in Mexico. We made a great pair, and she was so sweet. But I'm afraid that I would never have been able to see her again due to our financial situations both being so complicated right now. And having old feelings stirred up out of left field like that by someone who is also going through a lot that I can relate to well was an entirely unpredictable circumstance.

My old flame hasn't made any promises or guarantees of exclusivity or anything like that, because we aren't under the assumption that we are dating. However, I did tell her that I missed her a lot, that I noticed we still have a spark, and that I really like her, but that out of respect for her current situation, I would be extra careful not to push her boundaries while we become reacquainted with one another after so long.

She seemed somewhat reciprocative, agreeing that we definitely still had a strong connection, and she asked if I'd like to meet again, so I am feeling relatively confident that she might share a similar feeling to what I am experiencing.

After we had this discussion, I spent all day thinking about the implications of it. And I came to the conclusion that dating a person from another country is a monumental task that demands so much money and time to maintain that it might never be truly possible for some people - such as myself, who just dumped my entire savings into repaying the last of my debts from the past couple of years.

So tonight, I was up front with this wonderful, amazing, brilliant, beautiful woman from another country that I couldn't promise her the life that she dreams of so badly. I told her that I will always respect her and care about her, and that I will most certainly miss her, but that I just do not have the freedom necessary to be a part of her life. Because that is all true, and it has bothered me for months now.

She was upset, but told me to seek happiness, and that she didn't want me to talk to her ever again - which I completely understand and respect. But honestly, it made me tear up. It was disappointing and painful to tell someone that I genuinely care about that I do not believe that we can be together because of our circumstances.

It felt unfair to her that I even had feelings for another person in the first place.

So, did I do the right thing by choosing to approach her honestly and just return her freedom to her? Was I an ass for using reality to disillusion her as to the possibility of us being together? Was I an ass for allowing it to go for four months even though I had my doubts about how successful the relationship could be? Because I truly do care about her, and I am concerned that I held onto her for too long instead of allowing her the opportunity to meet others closer to her home for the past few months.

I don't know. I just feel guilty for hurting someone that I definitely had feelings for just because I happened to run into someone else by mistake that stirred intense feelings from over a decade ago to return. But I knew that the distance was unsustainable the entire time... It was a matter of "when" not "if" we would break up should we not see one another again soon enough.

So yeah, back to the title: did I make the best decision under the circumstances?

Any new break up lines you say to people you broke up with? I wanna know so when some people say it, id have an idea

So here's a little context. I am an 18 yr old girl with no experience with anything related at all to dating, other than middle school relationships that weren't really experience at all. I don't have a lot of social skills, reason being in short; I moved states after middle school and continued in online school (during covid) and am a severe introvert with mild anxiety, I never went out bc I never had to, yk? I am now 18 with no social skills, I don't talk to anyone online bc I am a pretty dry texter and don't know how to keep conversations going, I'd love to but it just never works out that way.

Now, here lies my problem. I really want a relationship and want to meet someone I like, so I decided to step a bit outside of my comfort zone and join a dating app, I get a match and I mention I love to explore and wish I could do it more but I don't have my drivers license, he offers to take me out. I was internally panicking but I decided to say yes, we arange a date for tuesday at a pretty public trail. We've been texting back and forth for the past 2 days and I am awful at it, I am trying my HARDEST to not be boring as shit. I'm better at making conversation in person but I don't know a lot about him and I'm terrified the whole date I'm going to be the most awkward person ever and we're just going to be walking in silence.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated :) I really just want to have a halfway decent date!

I've had this deeply engrained belief that's been further solidified through past experiences that if I ever want a boyfriend I have to be with someone I'm not really attracted to.

I know then he wouldnt leave me and I'll be able to just act however I want bcoz I know he likes me more. spending time with him and texting him would feel like a chore tho.

but I want to be in a relationship with someone I'm attracted to and would want to be physically intimate with as well.

anyone who has had a similar belief, how have u dismantled it?

I got one boy online he lives very away from me but he is very intelligent So basically if I date this boy it will be long distance with brain

Then I also have a option of one more boy who lives near my home he is so rich but with no brain So basically if I date this boy it will be near my home with money

So whom should I date Long distance with intelligence Near my home with money

Idk what to do I am not able to make decision If suppose the long distance boy cheat on me then i w I'll never come to know The boy who lives near me I will come to know about everything Because In last everything is money itself (I am not a gold digger) But every one gaining knowledge for money to earn in future Please fastly tell otherwise I may end up nowhere

I dont meet new people ever. I hate bars/clubs and my hobbies (gaming/anime manga typical nerd stuff) wont let me really meet people

But then theres the problem with me hating pictures of myself even existing to the point that no one not even my close family have any somewhat recent pictures of me and that makes dating apps hard to use. ( i do think im ok looking i just cant stand picutres of me existing ever since i was a child)

So idk what to do bc i dont see any way to meet someone and that sucks hard!!!

Any tips or advice!?

I (23F) have been talking to a guy (27M) for a little over 2 months now. He’s great — he’s sweet, he’s handsome, and he’s fun to be around. Due to our busy schedules (poor timing when we started talking), we didn’t meet up until almost 2 weeks ago.

We planned a second date for tomorrow. I have heard from him but maybe twice this afternoon. He’s viewed my snap story, but that’s about it. I understand he gets busy and he has a life too. It’s just that when he disappears for a whole day, my anxiety shoots through the roof.

I guess it has something to do with the last guy I was talking to ghosting me for an entire week before telling me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. All I got from him was short answers and it still bothers me, to be completely honest. I just worry that this is going to be something that repeats itself with another guy I like.

How can I stop overthinking? Are there any methods you can give me to calm my mind? All I’ve thought of today are reasons why he’d ghost me all at once/why he’d be better off choosing someone else. And I genuinely like this guy. So… tips/advice?

Probably not

Hey guys. I (M) attempted to ask a coworker out on her last day of work. We didn’t work together but we frequented each other in the office, greeted each other and sometimes had conversations.

I pretty much asked her if she would want to go go out with me and grab dinner one of these days. It was pretty nerve wrecking because I’m very much of the online dating app generation.

And she pretty much said that she would want to. She assumed she had me on Facebook so she told me I should message her. I told her I didn’t think I had her on fb and she told me to add her. And that weekdays would work better as she had some family obligations during the coming weekends

I friend requested her on Facebook and she accepted it right away.

I guess I’m just overthinking and second guessing myself. I know technically there’s no way to really know if she was just being nice or left the door open for me unless I message her. But I’m just so bad at texting/messaging that I don’t want to potentially fumble things.

In July, I met a girl (I’m also female) on a night out, and we ended up going home together. We really hit it off that night, and her friends liked me too, which she said was a “green flag.” She already had plans to go traveling for about a month, but we kept in touch during her trip and talked about meeting up when she got back.

When she returned, we started messaging more regularly and eventually met up again. Things seemed promising—she was flirty, attentive, and seemed genuinely interested. She even took the initiative to reach out a few times, which made me feel like the interest was mutual and would talk to my friends if she bumped into them.

It started to get a bit strange when I’d try to invite her out on another date (so this would be the third by this point, but we’d already hung out like 5 times) and to be fair she’d genuinely already be busy, but the initiative from her side was non-existent.

I didn’t think much of it and told her I was going to visit family in Italy and we’d just arrange something for when I get back and she agreed saying “Have fun!! Yeah let me know when you’re back and we’ll sort something x” she also kept in touch with me while I was away and sent me a flirty text about smelling my perfume as someone was wearing it on a train, which again seemed promising.

Most recently: So when I get back, to be fair, I had very last minute asked her if she wanted to come with me and a couple of friends to see a bonfire night display. She already had plans with her friends to see one, but got in touch to ask me how mine was. I let the conversation just fade out, because I felt like it’s me who keeps initiating and so thought I’d just leave the ball in her court and see.

So we’ve been texting since July and it’s now November and I feel like we’re not getting anywhere. She did tell me that she hadn’t dated another girl before, so I did take that into account, but the texting has been so slow, sometimes days to respond and she never really initiates any dates.

I’m not sure if I should wait another week to see if she reaches out on her own. If nothing changes, would it make sense to send a goodbye and thank-you text for closure? I feel like I might eventually need to remove her from my socials for my own well-being if things don’t progress, but I don’t want it to come across as dramatic.

I 25F developed feelings for my M24 manager recently. It started off as passing thoughts like how cute his smile is. However, lately I am starting to think he likes me too. I could be wrong.

1. Tonight we texted for LITERALLY two hours. Back and forth. Back and forth. It was all playful banter and teasing. We conversed mostly about work. However, I hadn’t expected us to talk that long. I texted him earlier and then he texted me back later in the evening sending a video and referencing something I said at work. That’s how we began texting.

2. I noticed at work he laughs at all my jokes. 80% of our conversations is filled with playful and witty banter. I he smiles when listening in on conversations I have with others.

He genuinely makes me laugh too. I have enjoyed nearly all of our exchanges.

3. He makes me feel appreciated at work. He does the same for others. He pushes me to do better while also encouraging me to move up. He is the best manager I have had so far and I am not only saying that because I am obviously biased.

4. He has complimented me on my honesty. He calls me sassy because I tell him when I don’t feel feel like doing something. However, he said I am honest and it’s a good thing. He said he likes it. When I told him someone else said the same thing he said, “Good. That’s a compliment.”

ALSO when I was telling him and another coworker about how good my hair looked he said, “It did look good”

I CANT SLEEP GUYS. AM I DELUSIONAL

EDIT: He’s avoiding eye contact with me.

I’m going on a first date with this guy soon. We really like each other. We’re going out to breakfast and I’ve already looked up the menu of the place online. Nothing is particularly jumping out at me, but the things that are have one or two ingredients that I would want to be excluded.

Would it be seen as unattractive to ask for them to hold the tomatoes on an omelette with only like, two other ingredients? I know that’s probably a silly question, but I’m a huge overthinker.

Also, are there any foods I should specifically avoid that aren’t obvious? We might be doing some kissing, so obviously I’m avoiding stuff like onions and garlic, but is there anything else I should steer clear of for the sake of my breath and my stomach?

There is a girl in my intro to ethics class that I think is cute and smart. She is also into philosophy which I like. Im a nervous guy, always have been. I think I get the courage to ask her out or talk to her a bit more but end up backing out. I feel like I could work up the courage to give her a note but idk if that would be ok.

ok so, we met in school a year ago in orchestra class, and I've always been attracted to women in general, most of my friends have always been women and since I was around some new people I talked to some of them, her being a cellist put her RIGHT in front of me (a bassist), but her stand partner was also right next to the cellist, and at first I focused more so on the stand partner because she was a very flirtatious person and I misunderstood, and after some fiascos with her I eventually got the idea and started paying more attention to the cellist, becoming her friend and chatting and all that. I remember thinking to myself "I'd be fine being friends with either but I hope its not (the cellist)" because she's nearly 3 years younger than me.

but shit man that's how it goes sometimes, A thing of note is that she's a little odd, I can't exactly put my finger on it but she's a little goofy in her own special way, she has quite a unique face, I wouldn't call her ugly but not conventionally attractive. She does in fact hit some niches for me though (don't know if that's fucked up or just how it is lol). For reasons I can't exactly place I find her very cute and attractive. Are those emotions allowed to even be felt? I don't know if this is considered acceptable or not.

I don't remember exactly how it started, but it was in orchestra class last year and there was kind of a group with me at the somewhat center of it, and so I kind of connected with everyone and she was included in that. But it wasn't until one day we happened to be looking at a poster for a music camp, and she convinced me to come along to it, and h o l y fucking shit it was such a good time for a billion different reasons, but the main thing was that she was attached to me by the hip it felt like most of the time, That is a little bit exaggerated but that is where we developed our friendship the most, I remember seeing her right when I got there, shit man makes me nostalgic. But basically we sat together at the fire the camp was having and chilled, she would sit at my cabin's table during breakfast, lunch and dinner and we would chat. and I remember one night at the camp she cried next to me, I had a bad reaction and said "are you crying bro?", I feel really bad about that shit lol. we also played some tennis near the end, which was a ton of fun. but probably the peak of the camp was when it was late and we were sitting on a couch together, I was leaning on her shoulder and we were playing minesweeper lol.

after the summer camp ended school started basically right away and we have orchestra together again. its a little bit more complex now due to a kerfuffle with her stand partner, and now she seems to be trying to get in between me and the cellist, not sure if there is more to it or she's just trying to be her friend or whatever, the cellist doesn't seem to be the most thrilled with her but I haven't had the chance to talk to her about it. We've gotten into a somewhat consistent pattern of having lunch together on Fridays (now that I think about it I should ask her to do stuff more often), but she might not accept because she has homework or studying to do. and she's been to my house once to bake with me and a few of my other friends.

One of my biggest "concerns" with the whole thing is she's a very inconsistent texter, I feel like I can't convey an idea to her properly unless we're in person, I'm not sure if that's just the kinda lady she is or if its something more than that. and I believe that's unideal for a relationship if you can't text them and actually have a conversation, so idk.

On the topic of her liking me, she hasn't outright said it but I am 98.5% sure she likes me. and she just lights up whenever she sees me, like yesterday I was sitting under a tree (our meet up spot) listening to some music while waiting for her to get here, I was listening to Mac DeMarco "Moonlight on the River" and it was around 5 mins in when she was close enough to see her face, and fuck man that was probably the best moment in history, if you know that song you know the fucking vibes.

Recently, I've been thinking about her a lot and dreaming about her sometimes, (is this weird?). I want someone to hold and love, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm in love with the idea of having someone to hold or having her. its all so goofy lol, when I talk to people about this people my age tend to see that as weird but older people don't seem to see any issue with it so Idk what the right answer is or even how to continue/progress

how the future will go (maybe): we'll continue how we're going this semester then next semester we will probably almost never see each other (aside from outside of school orchestras) all the way until the summer camp again next year, and after that.. I don't know, I'll be done high school and will continue with wherever life takes me but she'll still be there. I've heard its weird to keep connections to younger friends after you've moved on so idk.

TLDR: met a girl 2 and a bit years younger than me in my orchestra class and she's pretty goofy, she likes me and I like her (I think) but I'm not sure if I like her or the idea of her. we went to a camp together and had a TON of fun, we're in orchestra class again this semester but next semester we probably won't see each other much more if at all.

Hi all,

Early 20s M here. I've been single for around a year now. I've had long term relationships, short term stints, etc. Lately, being single has been getting to me more and more. I've been on a few dates, had some casual stuff here and there, but no success with anyone I wanted something long term with.

I find it easy to talk to women in general. I have a lot of female friends and meet new women on a fairly regular basis. A problem I've been thinking about lately though is as follows.

When I see a girl, I can usually discern whether or not I'm interested in her (romantically) fairly early on, even if we don't speak much. I guess it's a mix of physical attraction and also inferences on personality. While that's all fine and good, I feel like once I've decided I like someone I feel like they wouldn't be able to do anything to make me change my mind? As in, even if I find out that we are slightly incompatible, I'll still like them, which I think is problematic.

Case and point: today I met someone for the first time, and I already want to try to pursue her even though I don't really know much about her. I feel like I'm not overly clingy or anything like that; I just wonder if expressing interest before getting to know someone is driving women away.

Why would he want to distance himself emotionally? We are coworkers and became friends (we agreed on it). Now he's saying he wants to avoid emotional interactions with me. He said one day he started feeling awkward and weird. That he was okay in the past because his feelings didn't move but now he's realized his feelings have moved and it makes him really nervous. He says he thought these feelings would be temporary and go away but now is realizing they are not and wants to take a step back from emotional interactions with me and limit our contact to work only. That he is okay with me coming to him for help work or non-work related but wants me to not have emotions involved. He says he can tell that I want to proceed with the relationship but for him it is a difficult, hard and awkward thing to do. He told me that it's nothing I did or said but he struggles with getting close to people. Am I misinterpreting his feelings? I feel like he is saying that he has developed feelings for me and that it scares him so he needs to distance himself from me in hopes that they will go away.

I see this guy at work all the time. More than usual now. He’s very charming and flirtatious with everyone. But lately he’s been coming around me a lot. Complimenting me, calling me cute. Hugging me. Touches. Stares. We always make dirty jokes to each other. Someone at work even mentioned he’s always coming near me. But he hasn’t asked for my number? Does he like me? I’m probably experiencing limerence. Lol

A few weeks ago there was a guy at the club that was basically obsessed with me, didn’t leave my side the entire night, was being very forward and kept putting his arm around me and kissing my head. We went over to his friends place (our mutual) later and he walked my back home. Nothing happened but the next morning he told his friend we kissed which was super weird. He did text to hang out but then I think he got embarrassed when I had his friend ask him again to say nothing happened so we didn’t end up meeting after that. Anyway he went back to his hometown and apparently called to ask about me a few days ago, he’s not really texting or anything but I can’t stop thinking about him lol. I admit I was being kind of unresponsive to a lot of what he was saying to me but I did play along as much as I could and he was really adamant about pursuing. I’m so new to all this so I was just wondering if something like this ever happened to you before, should I just remember it as a fun night and let it die?