im still a minor, i turn 15 next month, and i have extremely toxic parents. they separated and don't like each other and i've heard from both that im just like the other (usually when i say something they don't like).

i don't want to be anything like them negatively. i censor and analyze myself to an aching level to avoid thought patterns that remind me of them. but really how do i avoid being like them? i think journaling will be useful.

im already very critical of my parents more obvious behavior so im pretty confident i won't be too much like them but even being like them a little bit is still pretty bad lol. my dad qualifies for most NPD symptoms and thinks hes the chosen one, my mom is extremely insecure and projects it onto me+has a superiority complex+victim mentality but also victim blaming.

Lately, I’ve been really self-conscious about my appearance. In the mirror and front-camera selfies, I think I look amazing, but when I reverse a selfie, I feel like one side of my face looks “off.” Even though people say both sides are equal, it makes me anxious. Rear camera photos are even more frustrating—my face looks bloated, and my eyes seem flushed, but in the mirror, my face looks defined and amazing. I feel confident when I see my reflection in mirrors or windows, but as soon as I see an inverted selfie or a rear camera photo, it just feels shattering.

Which is true?

Im 23 and feel like its too late for anything. Everyone has their career and im there not knowing what to pursue in life. Rn im in college for film & media studies and im a semester away from finishing but i dont wanna do that anymore. My mom said if i dont find a job related to my major when im done shes gonna be pissed and i dont want to live under their roof again because they always invalidate my feelings. Ive been suffering with depression for a while now, and my parents said they dont want me all depressed in the house because it can affect my little sister and i agree. I told them ok ill just pretend im happy and they just said ok. My younger sister (21) gets listened to more than anyone in the house. Shes honestly a b, shes always treated me like shit and my parents dont do anything about it and im honestly just tired of it. I wish i could disown her from being my sister. She recently got a puppy and we agreed we would go 50/50 and then when we got the puppy, she said its hers cuz she paid. My mom said she can only get it if i agree. So she basically just used me. But back to the point, im lost and feel alone. I have no one. Any advice? Cuz apparently i cant kms since ik it will affect my little sister and i dont want to ruin her life. Just dont know what career to do since my social anxiety gets in the way of everything so im useless in this world

Mid-20s, laid off from my first job after ~4 years—only 8 weeks severance.

Being a first gen college student from a lower-class background, I care a lot about personal finance. My situation is as follows:

• 1.5 years of living expenses in an emergency fund
• 300K invested in tax-advantaged accounts
• 150K invested in a brokerage
• Paid off student loans, no debt

Definitely not a humble-brag post, I wanted to lay everything out so you can understand my situation for an informed opinion.

Honestly, I'm very anxious about the future. It has been years since I interviewed, and I don't know which company I want to work at next.

Also, I haven't had a vacation in a while. I've traveled little and conserved.

If you were me, what would you do? And when would you start interviewing?

So in my psych class I learned that adolescents is when most people develop their own personality or sense of self. Im 22 now and i spent all of my teens keeping to myself, isolated, playing single player video games, and listening to music. I have no friends, social anxiety, no hobbies, no job, no real interests, etc. I dont have any set beliefs political or otherwise. Only thing I've decided and stuck to was not drinking or doing any drugs (420 included). I've taken personality quizzes and job quizzes based on personality and I get different results everytime even if I take them back to back. I feel like a husk or an empty shell. No substance or anything else. I feel like my lack of friends, relationships, and social interaction is a massive consequence of this. I've started having very brief moments of really bad thoughts about myself and hurting myself. This is the first time this has happened to me. They're short and rare, but it's still a little worrisome. Idek why im posting this. Advice maybe? Just getting it off my chest?

Hey 27M, I’m so tired of never being good enough to date. I don’t want to crave love anymore, it just cause me pain and misery. No matter how much I change I’ll never be good enough for someone. And the fact that I have to change to be good enough is so irritating. I feel like I’ll never be good enough and that I’ve already ran out of time.

I’m not doing self improvement stuff to find love, but for myself. But even so you’d think it would increase my odds. I don’t really want to try dating anymore, I don’t want to have to adjust myself to please anyone. I still want to be me and be the best version of myself. Social media is also so toxic to my brain I’m planning on deleting all of them. I just want to be alone away from everyone. I want to live somewhere alone away from society, I yearn for inner peace. It’s probably a sign that I’m not ready for love but like fuck it. Why should I care, why should I let people determine my value. I hate how inconsiderate people can be.

I ran out of time when it comes to love I’m damaged goods. I don’t want to find it anymore nobody is gonna love me for me. I’m too weird and I’m not the type guy that seems dateable, I feel like a man child even though I do everything on my own for myself. I don’t why I’m so hard on myself. I always set high expectations on myself. Therapy would be amazing right now but it’s so bullshit expensive

So I just need to learn love myself. I just gotta keep moving forward alone. I just gotta keep growing in all the other parts of my life. Nobody is gonna love me and nobody needs to. I’m not owed anything, I don’t want to improve my love life. I don’t care if it makes me look like a coward or weak so be it. I’m tried of caring what people think. I know I’m not a bad person and doing this makes me look bad so be it. I wish I didn’t carve love, they say you’re good enough even when you think you’re not but I don’t believe that’s true.

I’m probably gonna get made fun or called a bitch for this. I don’t have anyone to express myself to.

I was at a party last week with a circle of my old college friends. Everyone was talking about their hopes, dreams, and goals.

One person in particular, James, said something that stood out. He mentioned that every month, he takes half of his salary and spends it on gambling. As an inquisitive ex-gambler, I asked him, “Why do you gamble?”

He said, “So I can get rich.”

I followed up, “How will you get rich gambling?”

I thought, maybe he knows a new, foolproof way to get rich. But he replied, “If I put in half my salary on parlays or poker, all I need is one big win, and I’ll become rich.”

Everyone laughed at him dismissively, as though his idea was utterly foolish."

With a straight face, I told James, “I genuinely hope it works for you,” said my goodbyes, and left.

Lingering Questions 

Journeying home, James’ reckless gambling made me reflect on my own past, which overflowed with greed. How many times had I gambled, scammed or stolen, taking as much as I could while giving as little as possible? In the end, what did I have to show for it? Nothing. And yet, as I pondered James' situation, I realised that his delusion wasn’t unique. It echoed throughout the circle—each of us, in our own way, was blinded by a similar belief that our chosen path would lead to wealth, success, or fulfilment.

It was as if everyone had their own secret recipe for drinking the delusion of grandeur potion

James' belief that gambling will make him rich is just one example of how we convince ourselves that shortcuts to success exist. Dan and Mark, for instance, are equally convinced that online courses will bring wealth. Dan, paid $50 for an online wealth building course, from an online social media guru. While Mark, paid $50 for a masterclass on how to effortlessly seduce beautiful women from around the world—taught by some so-called online pickup artist.

Tammy took out a loan of £100k to invest into flipping properties. “House prices will always go up; it is the surest way to make fast and massive profits. I’ll pay this loan off and be rich in no time!”

Amy’s been spending $5 weekly on the lottery for years but has never won big. “The most I’ve won is $20, but hey, a win is a win!, I’ve got a lucky feeling that my time will come soon!"

Lastly, Lauren’s fraudster friend, Alex, promised to give her $20k from his next score—provided he could use her card. “We always laugh at his stories of scamming his business partners” She said. Alex already has her card, and she’s expecting the money within a couple of days. 

In each case, I gave the same response, a neutral “I hope it works out for you.”

Though their paths differ, all of these pursuits stem from the same delusion: the belief that we can outsmart the system. It’s comical how easy it is to be convinced of your own grandeur. You take endless sips from the delusion of grandeur brew, telling yourself, “I can handle the effects!” But to the world, you’re ego-drunk as it quietly and patiently bets on your demise. I know this well, I too am human after all.

Finally, the lingering disturbance made sense. “Ah!” I exclaimed to myself. “They laughed, but there’s no way Dan, Mark, Tammy, Amy, and even Lauren believe they’re any different from James. Are they really convinced they’re not being led by their own greed? Surely, right? Right?”

As I sat with these thoughts, it became clear that James was just one example of a larger truth—one that applies to all of us.

Different goals, same humanity 

Alrightttt, I’m sure people’s egos are going crazy, telling themselves the classic line:

“That’s different, though - It could never be me.” 

Oh really? You think you’re special and different - that you’re immune to aspects every human has? I’m not perfect either. Personally, I don’t believe in absolute morals. To me, there is no absolute right or wrong—no good or evil—so I don’t judge; I’ll leave that to God. As a result, I keep my vices on a tight leash, or else there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do.

Everyone carries greed, wrath, sloth, pride, gluttony, and so on within us. We all carry vices; they just wear different masks depending on the day.

We laugh at those who fall victim to their vices in obvious ways, labelling them fools and thinking, “That will never be me.” But how can we be so sure? We could view the people, examples, and situations I described as nuanced or different, making it all seem more complex.

What if we looked at these examples more simply—as forces beyond our control, using our vices against us? In each of these situations, a person's own greed or vice is being exploited in ways they cannot comprehend.

Yet, they all believe they’re fully aware of, or even in control of, their greed and vices. But are they, truly?

Frightening, isn’t it? Well, to me, it certainly is.

So, would you like to bet? 

Here's the question: Can you see past your own delusions? Are you willing to bet on your own blind certainty, or will you step back and recognise the forces—your vices—that may be controlling you? This is where the real gamble begins.

This same delusion isn’t limited to a single person; it spreads across various facets of life, affecting everyone from gamblers to even political supporters.

To those of you who put your trust—or your vices—in social media gurus, masterclasses, gambling, loans, the lottery, or fraud… Or to those who, swayed by their vices, cheered on, voted for, or placed faith in a president to lead a nation for a second time who:

• Was closely connected to a child trafficker and seems to have no limits on what they’ll  do for personal gain.
• Currently in debt worth hundreds of millions, if not billions. 
• Bankrupted at least five businesses, including casinos and resorts. (Ironic, isn’t it?)
• Was also charged with multiple felonies, including sexual assault.

These exploits are endless—just as endless as the delusion.

It’s like the woman who keeps going back to her abusive boyfriend, convinced this time it’ll be different. Funnily, without hesitation, she’d bet her life on it. And we would too.

Come on, it’ll be different this time, though, right?

Right…?

TLDR; Our vices blinds us, and it’s not the desire for more that causes harm; it’s the illusion that we’re too smart, too special, or too immune to fail.”

So being able to do things like exercise, eat healthy, skincare routine, keeping yourself groomed, etc

I just dont believe i can like myself. When i try to get therapy i gaslight myself that im actually okay and this cycle repeated for years Im becoming suicidal

What can i do?

I still live at home with my parents, no job, no girlfriend. oh, and I’m 8 years old.
I feel like my life is slipping away from me. Is it too late for me to change my life around?

/s obviously

First time poster here.

Could really use some advice on everyday happiness.

I (27M) almost have it all. In good shape and working out a lot. well read. Good career. Been having plenty of success with women and in social life, however recently, i have withdrawn to work on myself.

I realized i have been very addicted to external affirmation, success at work, women wanting me, being the fun of the party etc. So... I've been looking inward, taken a step back and have been minding my own business, taking it slow, practicing yoga etc.

This has been very liberating for me, as i always felt i wasn't really sure what i wanted out of life - i just managed success in areas of life where society deems i need to and kept going for that high these latter years. I do not want that life any longer however. I quit partying/drinking/nicotine as well. Sleep never been better. All i need is to find a woman to laugh with, care for and be intimate with. It's getting lonely tbh.

BUT... i don't feel ready. I want to be in a good place before i start looking and the subject of this posts bothers me so much. I essentially feel like i have very little actual joy in life.

I used to have activities i could not wait to get home and do. I used to be excited and hopeful. Maybe i'm just all grow up and need the responsibilities of an adult to feel fulfilled? I like my work, i like improving my physique, seeing friends once in a while, talking to my sister about philosophy and litterature (my main hobby.. or a least used to be), but i am just not excited anymore.

Often i come home and i just do the things i know i NEED to do, to take care of myself at the current level. idk. I just don't feel like i can take any more "self improvement" steps or steps in life in general until i feel more happy, excited or joyful about everyday existence.

It feels like coming out of a huge fog, being confused, not really knowing how you ended up there. So fellow improvementers. Have any of you been in this spot before, and how did you manage to rekindle the spark with life?

Is it too late for me to change my life? I’m 22 years old, and I’m trying to become a software engineer, but my parents don’t understand why I’m still struggling to get started.

After high school, I couldn’t go to college because I was overwhelmed by overthinking and anxiety, and now I feel like I’ve missed my chance. My father keeps pushing me to just get any job, and he yells at me, saying I should give up on tech and start working as a waiter because I’m too old for college and it’s unrealistic to think I can make it in this field.

I want to prove to myself that I’m capable of achieving this, but it’s so hard to keep going when even my own family doesn’t believe in me. Sometimes, it feels like this is the end of the line for me, and I’ll never get where I want to be. How do I deal with all this pressure and keep moving forward when it feels like I’m already too late?

Thanks in advance!

I'm not sure when or why it happened but during therapoy and self reflection i've noticed that i as a guy find it difficult to romantically desire women i feel sexual attraction to, likewise i find it difficult to feel sexual attraction to someone i'm romantically involved/invested in: This in essance is the Maddona/Mistress complex

I know i used sex (As a general topic) to hide from pain and trauma in my later teenage years (I found i was very good at sexting and basically used that as a cover for my pain). The issue now is that i'm almost uninterested in sex when it comes to my OH whom i've been in a realtionship with for around 7 years

Problem is i don't know where to begin with trying to "snap myself out of" this

I am tackling this (And many other issues) in therapy but i like to try and fix things myself if i can

So... I have a heavy addiction to an onlyfans girl. over a year ago until now, she chatted with me and charge me money to watch her masturbate and such, I was obsess over the power of spending money to make someone do this. But after wasting close to 9 thousand dollar on this girl, I eventually cut my card from the account. But it was not enough as I kept going back to her and waste even more money.

Today, the post nut clarity hit me way harder than normal as i look at my financial status. Every month, close to 40% of my monthly salary is going to this girl. I finally bite the bullet and deleted my account, and now i feel liberated and finally can take a new step to improving my life.

But I am worried, that I might relapse and create another account just to waste money again. Where can I go from here?

For the next 7 days, I am pledging to work on myself. These are the things I am going to work upon

• Wake up at 6 even on Sunday

• No netflix/youtube/prime/ Reddit. I quit Instagram long time back.

•Going to bed at 10

• Running/ movement everyday

• No junk food (for me it’s Biscuits and tea and kurkure)

• Drink 3l of water

•Meditation for 10 mins

• read one chapter each day

• Study for atleast 3 hours

• Force myself to socialize atleast for 30 mins. I Live in a hostel so it’s going to be dinner for me. I tend to self isolate, keeping up with friends is really difficult for me.

I know it’s a lot of things at once but I am doing most of the things already like drinking water, running, reading and meditation. I am also deleting all gaming apps and Reddit/youtube from my phone. I will come back here on Sunday 17th 2024 and update you how this went.

Hey guys, .I just found out about this Umax app, and btw, I'd like to ask for help so I can take a look and see how it works. LWTG9G heres my code, putting it there I put you too ❤️

lately i’ve been pretty stressed with life and social media really doesn’t help when it’s mostly about politics or dealing with rude people. i wanna detox from it because i know it’d be better for my mental health if i took a break, but i use social media as my escape to stop thinking about what stresses me out. it’s kind of a never ending cycle, and it prevents me from starting a new show or doing something productive because social media is so much faster and easier to use than sitting down and watching a show or cleaning my room. i really wanna do better for myself and my mental health so any advice would be appreciated

I’m 18f about to be 19 soon. I have bad high school attendance and am 2 grades behind. I have lost all motivation for anything. I’m pretty sure I’m depressed. I was diagnosed adhd. I want to study but I am too tired to. I wanted to kms since I was 17, and am just waiting for my grandma to die so I can die without hurting her. Because I am convinced I am hopeless, I have done nothing these past years to improve myself. I almost dont want to be better and be happy. I have isolated myself socially, I barely shower and eat. Can someone tell me what I can do? I think I need help

Man, I feel invisible to the world. There are few people who ever calls or texts me. Very few people that talk to me, or I talk to. Wherever I go, I am that quiet person who has nothing to say. No one ever wanted to go on a walk with me.

I have been doing something to try and improve myself. I try to talk to people. All I have managed is I am just dressing up and putting myself out there. But the conversation doesn't go anywhere from hello.

It hurt yesterday when I tried to sit at the table with people I was not much comfortable with. But I couldn't even talk with anyone. Just watching people laugh together, have plans other than staying in the room and watching TV, it hurts why I don't have that.

Having someone who is at least willing to spend some time with me.

But nothing I do is working at all. I see charming people, who talk with others for one time and end up being invited to their home. Why am I not like that?

Fuck I hate being myself. I want to fucking exist. Have a group of friends. And something that is working for me.

"He who has dominion over himself is powerful."

I've come to realize that real strength isn’t about controlling others or the external world; it's about mastering our own desires, impulses, and actions. This idea of self-mastery has been transformative for me, reminding me that true power lies in knowing and controlling myself.

Here are a few principles that have helped guide my journey toward self-improvement:

1. Practicing Self-Discipline

Learning to control my actions and emotions has been key to feeling more grounded and free. When I resist negative impulses—whether it's anger, envy, or impatience—I find myself becoming stronger and more in control of my life.

2. Reflecting Daily

Taking time each day to assess my actions and intentions has been a valuable habit. This daily reflection helps me become more mindful and make conscious choices, rather than acting out of habit or impulse.

3. Seeking Knowledge

"Knowledge enlivens the soul." I've found that continuously seeking knowledge, not only in my work but in all areas of life, keeps me motivated and helps me grow. Intellectual growth has become an inspiring and essential part of my self-improvement journey.

4. Serving Others

Focusing on helping and caring for others has been deeply rewarding. When I prioritize service and compassion, I notice a positive impact not only on those around me but also on my own character. It strengthens my sense of purpose and connection to my community.

5. Avoiding Harsh Self-Criticism

I've learned that being kind to myself is crucial. Self-improvement isn’t about tearing myself down over flaws; it’s about acknowledging them with compassion and working towards growth without letting setbacks define me.

Each of these principles has become a small step in a lifelong journey. True growth doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience, discipline, and compassion—for ourselves and others—it becomes a deeply fulfilling path.

Pretty much what the title says, really. I'm in Year 11, and I need to revise now, or I'll probably end up worse off. But I can't dedicate myself to it. Help, pls?

I am trying to cut my tummy fat & I go for morning walks & 3 times a week to gym ( I am trying to make it 5-6 times but I am terrible at time management).

I dont have any watch/ band to track my steps but keeping phone in my pocket does the job.

trying to get fit is hard & having no one to talk/share it with is making it harder, so need someone to share my fitness data & chat about fitness.

will prefer someone who have iphone (I am on social detox to no whatsapp, only imessage) & it is already tracking my data.

but third party apps are also fine (as long as they are privacy friendly).

I am curious what people's morning routines are, how long it takes them to complete, and how often they manage to do it. Also include the time you wake up if you'd like.

I'll start with the routine I (try to) use on the weekend when I don't have school:

• Waking up at 7:00, getting out of bed immediately.
• Shower
• Shave if necessary
• Eat a small meal (bananas, some peanuts or yoghurt)
• Get clothed
• Take all my medicine and supplements with a glass of water
• Apply hair gel
• 5 minutes stretching
• 10 minute meditation
• Check my calendar; do I have any appointments or places to be today?
• Make a proper breakfast
• Eat breakfast while planning my day on my computer document
• Brush my teeth
• Quick walk/jog

This routine takes way longer than it should for me. I usually spend 2-3 hours getting it all done, and I really don't get why. Just looking at it on paper, it shouldn't take that long. Maybe it'll go quicker and quicker if I just stick with it.

I often feel weighed down by my own reflection, believing myself to be unattractive. This feeling keeps me from going out and seizing opportunities, fearful of how I might be judged. It's reached a point where enjoying simple pleasures feels undeserved. I don’t enjoy wearing makeup, dressing up nicely, or denying myself small treats—I tell myself it's pointless, it won’t change the fact that I’m still ugly no matter what and don’t deserve anything good in life. It deeply saddens me that I treat myself so harshly and can't seem to show myself any form of love and respect. Despite having the unwavering love of my parents, I often feel alone with these feelings. At 20, my university years should be vibrant and full of potential, but I find myself held back by self-doubt, feeling lesser than those around me. How do I begin to break free from constant self-criticism and just outright negativity? How do I learn to embrace and love myself, to live freely and fully without being weighed down by my insecurities? I'm tired of feeling confined, of missing out on life.

What books can you read 2-4 pages each day while sipping your morning tea instead of mindlessly checking your phone for news or scrolling reddit if you don't want to just sit there and stare out the window? Something where after a few pages you can close the book and pick it up next day to continue. So no long chapters, no elaborate plots but more smth with short inspiring stories, quote collections, helpful thoughts or concepts for daily life and so on. Smth that will make you smarter bit by bit but doesn't require your full attention for a longer time. Basically a "good habit" replacement for checking your phone

I'm a young adult and have been struggling with manic depression since I was a teen, but a big event earlier this year made me spiral more than ever before. I've always had this "brain fog", but its gotten to the point where I cant keep my concentration, maintain my balance, or speak without slurring my words - I feel like I need to take action but I dont know what would be the most impactful thing to tackle first.

• I only can ever drink soda - sometimes other stuff, like lemonade or fruit juice - but I can never drink water. The past few months Ive tried to buy bottled water and even an independent filtered water bottle, but I still hate the taste and have to hype myself up to just take a few gulps each day. I'm so sick of soda that I rarely ever finish the cans my family buys, yet its still the thing I tend to go back on.
• My usual sleep time is 6am and my wake-up time is 2pm, and I always feel like I have no energy the whole day up until its pitch dark out. Whenever I try to go to bed earlier, I end up just waking up shortly after with more energy. Ive tried sleep medicine which has helped do this, but it makes me incredibly lethargic for the whole day afterwards and makes the cycle repeat itself.
• I dont really go outside or exercise. Lately Ive been trying to take walks very late (past midnight) when I have the energy, but Im always afraid people who are up may think Im malicious and call the cops or something. I usually just spend all day at my desk writing/doing art stuff or riding with my mom and brother to go get fast food (my mom doesnt really buy groceries.)
• My room is a mess. I havent had anyone in my life look in here for the past couple of years, and that was around the last time I got to clean it. This is the only part I dont feel comfortable going into more detail, but I dont have any room to do anything but get in bed or sit at my desk.
• I dont have medicine or therapy anymore. I have been taking meds since I was diagnosed years ago and have been seeing different therapists since then, but my insurance expired earlier this year, putting all of that on halt. My mom keeps promising she will renew it, but I have asked every day for almost a year now and Im close to giving up. This may be irrelevant but I thought it would be important to mention.

Please dont take my sincerity as some form of arrogance or ignorance; I just want to be as transparent as possible so I can get any honest advice that I can. I know these are all obvious problems, but I would be eager to tackle one of them in particular if I knew it would be worth the little energy I tend to have. Thank you in advance.

Im in my 20s and my face look unconfident and awkward. how do I improve this?

I’m in grad school, and I’m kind of a loner. I didn’t realize how much people liked me until the class got together and sing happy birthday for me today. At the end of class, my desk partner “Mary” asked me if I wanted to take some of the food home. I said yeah.

When this happened, my crush came up to Mary and I because he wanted to go with her to ask another professor question. However, Mary was cleaning up the food, but then I didn’t realized she was going to take all of it for me. This probably lasted for about 20 second. And I was standing right there. I didn’t offer to help her. Poor Mari. Also, my crush probably thinks I’m selfish too.

My crush is coming to my birthday party. that doesn’t mean anything, but I just didn’t really worried I ruined my chances. Not only did he see me being inconsiderate, but I made him wait too. I think Mari when she gave me the bag, and I I told her didn’t realize that she was giving me all of the food.

I need to ensure that I study up on any terms I don’t know/remember and take practice quizzes consistently in preparation for it. Exam won’t be for another 3 weeks or so, at least. I hope to make a Quizlet tomorrow.

Geniunely want to know how I can become a better person for that special someone one day. I’m not in a relationship right now, as I’m currently just trying to work on myself, figure out what exactly I want to do as a career, and work on my financial goals. What are some things/skills I should learn to do to be a good partner/husband for the future?