Welcome to r/SelfImprovement

Today was quite an interesting day. I'm not going to go into too many details but with my family it feels expected. I woke up and probably not even twenty minutes later my sister and mother were in a screaming match about money where many cheap shots were taken. I thought it was going to get physical at one point. I honestly didn't know what to do and was stunlocked. Something that I have been trying to get better at. My sister left with her company and then my mom thought it would be good to come and scream at me. Then came to apologize and then undo that apology all in one blow. It was an interesting morning. I decided not to get upset though. I decided to reflect on the points brought up and decided to use those to better myself. My brother, sister, and I texted with it mostly being my brother and I. We talked and I think it was a very healthy conversation. Everything was very personal so I'll keep it to myself but it was important to me. I think the most important thing to come out of it is that we all need to change. The ones who attempt to better themselves are the ones who are trying. The ones who don't are at fault and didn't learn anything. They are the ones who didn't try to be better than they were at the fight. I hope we all can change and improve. The rest of my day consisted of me working on different things for myself and working on things in my room. I would have done more cleaning but I was trying to enjoy a rough day. I was going to go to the store and to the gym but a blizzard came on through destroying the roads and any chances of me going out. Good thing we have a treadmill at home. This was my routine:

30 minutes on treadmill: 15 min at 3 mph at a very steep incline. 15 min at 3 mph without an incline.

I tried to eat some good food but since there is not much in the fridge and I couldn't go to the store, I ate some leftovers. I had the remainder of a friend's burrito bowl and my favorite tortilla chips in the world. It was a nice small meal but very hard to calculate calorie wise. Either way I tried eating healthy and since I ate heartily the day before, I was not too hungry. I enjoyed what I ate and this is what I consumed:

Lunch:

1 cup chocolate milk - 140 calories (13 g protein)

274 g orange - ~145 calories (~2.5 g protein)

Dinner:

Small burrito bowl with some chips - ~250 - 400 calories (~20 - 30 g protein)

395 g carrot - ~190 calories (~3.7 g protein)

30 g cheese - 90 calories (6 g protein)

I worked on some of my goals today. I deleted some storage, tidied up my room, played some games, watched a stream, worked on managing my time, took meds at better times, and tried to be more positive. I tried to improve today and I'm happy with what I did.

SBIST was just my brother and I having a lengthy conversation about different things. We did it all through text in order for my sister to see it as well but it was a good conversation. It allowed for a lot of introspection and allowed me to get across my thoughts on a lot of different familial and personal issues. I think it allowed all of us to grow as people and give us new things to work on. The fight earlier in the day was bad but I think talking through different things with people can make it worth it. I want to keep changing and evolving. I don't want to be the same person every year or even every day. I think having that talk will help me to change more.

Tomorrow I will hopefully go to the gym depending on the weather. If not, then it will once again be the treadmill. I am also going to enjoy myself tomorrow in between doing different chores I need to do. I'm going to make the best of my day and tiny mini vacation. I will probably go back to work soon and just need to wait for a call from the boss. I also hope I can shop tomorrow because there is not much food in the fridge besides the fattening stuff from the holidays. I need more fresh fruits and veggies so I hope to get that soon. If not, then I'll make it work with what I got. Thank you my conjurers of the fights. Sometimes we need you in order for us to learn more about ourselves and how to improve.

When I moved across the country to a new city by myself to start working after college, I started to thrive. I really worked on myself, all the things I didn’t like about myself and wanted to fix, inside and out. I was healthy and productive, successful. I woke up at 4am and worked out, meditated, journaled, took cold showers, drove an hour to work and listened to books, podcasts. Read self improvement books and actually applied what I learned. I accomplished so much and was so strong and proud of myself. But I knew I would struggle to maintain the same lifestyle if I ever lived with anyone else. It’s like I’m afraid to be myself. I don’t have my affirmations hung up on the mirrors because I don’t want my partner or family to see them.

I’m married now and live with my husband. I have been suffering from a rare disease and I’ve gained weight. Due to my disease I cannot run or do high impact activity. I used to be a runner and was very active. I’m not happy with my body currently. I’m in a lot of pain. We want to get pregnant soon. My body will never be right again, I’ll never be able to lose the weight at this point.

I don’t have the same energy and vigor for life that I used to. I want to be better but for whatever reason everything seems so much harder now. I really used to practice being disciplined but now it is just impossible. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to get through this and take better care of myself or be a better partner or some day a parent.

I used to have it all going on, I was incredibly successful and hard working, well traveled, confident, intelligent. Now my brain feels like mush and I just can’t fathom going through the rest of life like this. I’m not even 30 yet.

I’m not even sure what help to ask for. I think I just need some hope.

I have been addicted to social media for a long time, almost my entire life, spending most of my day behind a screen without doing any meaningful or productive activity. I have tried several times to eliminate it from my life since 2020, whether by deleting my Instagram account, uninstalling the app from my phone, installing apps that change my phone's home screen design to something less stimulating, and other methods. However, I always end up getting hooked on my phone again, whether it's IG, YT, Reddit, TikTok, etc.

This has led me to an existential crisis because I have been setting goals to achieve since 2020 that I almost never end up accomplishing. I feel like I have wasted 5 years of my life doing absolutely nothing with it.

I came to the conclusion that my excessive phone usage is not only due to how overstimulating social media can be but also because I don’t have any hobbies or habits that motivate me to go outside or simply not use the apps. I realized that the internet has become an escape from my reality since I don’t know what to do with my life or how to face it.

Do you have any hobbies or habits that don’t involve using technology?

As a dad of three kids working full-time, I’ve been lucky to carve out some time for self-improvement—whether it’s focusing on fitness, mental health, or personal growth. But it’s not easy, and I know I’m not alone in this struggle.

I’m curious to hear from others: How do you prioritize your personal growth while balancing family and work responsibilities? What routines or strategies have helped you grow as a person without feeling like you’re taking time away from your family?

Hi, so my (F:42) goal this year is to focus on moving forward in all of my goals in life. And one of those goals is regarding something that has been plaguing me for a long time - the fact that I admire certain traits of people (a mix of those I have know in the past, both former friends and former family members, and one or two public figures whom I do not know) that I know are toxic humans. Nearly all of these people are also female, but this is not a situation of “oh, perhaps you like that person in a romantic way (I am very much straight, thank you). It is a situation of “why do these toxic women have these incredible qualities and I don’t?”

As someone with ADHD who is still trying to build their career and personal life at my age, I’ve always felt like no matter how hard I worked or how much I accomplished, compared to these women, I still feel weak, flaky, undisciplined, and judged as “less than,” when I know that I am strong, ambitious, goal-driven, and motivated. All of these toxic women, even if they have caused extreme drama or have pulled scenes in a public setting, are successful professionally, have been able to marry seemingly quality men (and in some cases start families with them), are known for being hard-charging, driven, and opinionated, and the type of person to look down on a person like me when I am desperate to learn from them how to be as hard-charging and strong as they are.

I know that it is possible to be a successful person and easy to work/have a relationship with, but I also don’t want to be seen as somebody who lets people walk all over me (I don’t, but I seem to give off that vibe at times). And I’m tired of having bad role models to “look up to.” But anytime I have searched online for a solution to this particular issue, I seem to meet a dead end. So any advice is greatly appreciated.

About a month ago, my friend got into a car accident on the way to school. The next day, she seemed okay relatively speaking. Nobody was injured in the crash. My classmate, “Emma”, has always been an introvert. She doesn’t really have a set group of friends. She was a bit socially oblivious, but didn’t want to draw much attention. Last quarter, I bonded with her a little bit more because our seats were close to each other. But we’re still not close by any means.

Since the crash, she’s a lot more talkative now. Which should be a good thing, but is it? Whereas before she would kind of mind her business, now she kind of blurts out things in conversation. She kind of buttons. One time, she apologized to me for hogging the printer for a few minutes. And she went on this big long tangent about it. I don’t know. She’s always been quiet and a bit oblivious, but now she’s talkative to the point where her words are a bit, ahem, mindless.

As someone passionate about both meditation and journaling, I’ve been reflecting on how a thoughtfully designed meditation journal could genuinely support self-improvement and enhance practice.
Journaling about my meditation experiences has helped me progress faster and build consistency.

I’d love to hear your thoughts:

• What specific challenges in your meditation journey could a journal help solve? (E.g., maintaining focus, tracking progress, or processing insights.)
• What prompts or features would motivate you to use a meditation journal daily?
• Would tools like habit trackers or progress logs make it easier to stay consistent?
• How should a journal balance open reflection space with structured guidance?

Your insights could inspire not just me, but anyone looking for ways to integrate mindfulness and self-discipline into their personal growth journey.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 🙏

Events that I won't specify happened in the last 3 days. In short, I've been forced to reconsider my life path. I've already taken steps to make things happen.

For so long, I've told myself "I'm trying" or "I'm slowly getting better" or "I'm working on it". And it resulted in me choosing the easiest way out of conflict; when I get overwhelmed or bored, I often choose to abuse tech in some way. I also daydream or overthink scenarios. And when things become to much, I go for a drive and buy shit food.

It took something outside of my control happening for me to realize that maybe; I'm just fucking weak.

Deep down I know I could've done calisthenics instead of my bad habits. Or went for a run whenever shit got to be too much. But I chose not to. My mind works too quickly to slow down and journal or meditate, but I knew there were other solutions.

I just took a 5 minute cold shower. I've made a plan to restructure my bad habits using physical activity, such as calisthenics and running. This is all personal to me. Feel free to share your thoughts.

I realize I've lived much of my life not having much self respect and next to no boundaries. I am trying to enforce boundaries more and more and do things when they align with self-respect but a lot of it feels alien. I often can't read or interpret situations that require me to respond with self-respect. Anyone take steps to start feeling deeply deserving of respect?

I came to accept that I was powerless, that the events of the world were shaping me, that I was a spectator. I was a child filled with joy. So what happened? And what would a change of direction mean now, given all that time spent wandering around, not finding my place? I still have dreams waiting to happen. If you don't have a clear answer, a discussion would be welcome as I feel alone at this time. thank you

i hate my personality. i hated who i was as a kid and i hate myself now. i've done such horrible things to some people, and other times i can be overbearing and weird, and other times i can be extremely extroverted but then most times im quiet and keep to myself but i don't know who i actually am and i hate all sides of my personality. i want to die so bad because of it and i don't know what to do. it eats me alive each day and ive spent the past two days crying and panicking over it. i seriously hate myself and i don't know what to do. i want to be genuine to myself but once i am i just become this horrible person or weird or overbearing or annoying. just like a child.

what do i do

Moderate reoccurring Severe Depression, mild anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. I'm actually really happy right now because even if my therapy appointment won't be until February 12th, I can look up proper techniques to certain behaviors for each disorder and work on those until I can talk to my therapist. This is a huge step I've been dying to take to making sure I don't end up some bitter old hermit. I wanna make my comic book dammit and professional help is the way to start.

Im 21 yo guy and on this New Years i ended up alone. I live by myself in a small apartment and i got 3 weeks vacation since i dont have anyone to go on a hollidays with. I did not expect to end up alone on New Years tho. Noone even texted me wishes only some replied when i texted mine , They do not have time for me since all of them got Gfs or more important things to do. I understand and respect that . The issue is i dont have anything going on in my own life , i got 3 weeks of vacation and already wasted 2 by procrastinating and hating myself. I planned to really improve my life in these 3 weeks but only after i banned myself from scrolling IG few days ago the reality really hit me. Today i decided to workout and it surprised me how weak i am again. I dont know why it surprised me since i sometimes dont eat for days now ,but im not even loosing weight since i burn so lil calories laying on my sofa all day…

The issue is that i dont know where to start and i got still week left , i dont want to waste it , but i dont know what to do. Im ordering a book and a tatoo machine since i wanted to try that as a hobby for years , but that will take week atleast before it gets to me and i will be back at work around that time. I really dont know what to do with this time i have and i really dont want to let myself down again and waste it , any idea what should i do ? Is there something that could help me kick off my life in a right direction ?

I got about a year to do the tests that determine my life, and other things that people may say “defines me as a person” FYI this is ranked from what i believe is what i need most to least.

1. Little to no confidence

mostly came from others talking about me being skinny, also being stuck with my dad which has ig a habit to point out problems and talk about them, me being skinny was one of them and a gaming addiction.

2.Im really dumb not only do i have a year to study but i got atleast a couple months left to get into a better group, specifically the group on top to possibly get me my best results.

3. Im skinny.

I want to play basketball professionally and obviously can’t be done being skinny. Maybe about a year also.

4. Common or typical things expected from a person. Well i feel like people will think of me less just because i can’t do things people expect. Like cooking or cleaning or stuff like that.

I believe i can do it, just that i won’t have anymore free time to have fun or anything. That it’s almost like i’d rather die. But it’s just for 1-2years at best.

Btw i feel like some people might say “what do you care from others?” Or something like that. But it really came from neglect of my parents. As in my dad pointed out my problems and my mom was too busy with work that i kind of fight for appreciation or care. And to prove everyone wrong.

Complete sobriety: no more drinking. I don’t drink that often anyway, but I recently over did it and experienced such severe alcohol poisoning, it’s never happening again.

No more coffee: my oura ring continually scores my sleep low - it’s time to prioritize this completely.

Social media, gone: social media is being taken off my phone and will be accessible from my computer only.

I’ve totally hit my breaking point with crappy sleep and hitting slumps due to self comparison, loss of energy from drinking or poor sleep.

I’ll keep you all in the loop.

I’ve just come out of a job where if you didn’t agree with the tenets of a few books that I’ve seen mentioned all over here you weren’t really accepted into the fold.

I felt like senior management couldn’t think on their own terms and were just grasping at vague straws.

For me self improvement as an idea feels natural, forcing it seems like a cult and it made me really uncomfortable. What stops you from thinking for yourself?

What made you move on despite failures, mistakes, delays, detours, incoveniences, what are the things that kept you going and strike again?

what wouldn’t you repeat..

We’re always pushed to achieve, grow, improve, meet deadlines, and keep moving forward despite all our disappointments, heartbreaks, and frustrations.

Many of you may be sitting at home today, wondering how to move on with a broken heart and all the problems that keep piling up week after week.

For the sake of your mental health, your dream partner, your dream career, and your dream friends… focus on healing yourself this year.

• Still haunted by your past? Maybe it’s a mistake, a bad experience, or something that wasn’t even your fault. It’s time to face it, process it, and stop letting it control your present.
• Toxic relationships have a grip on you? They drain you, they make you doubt yourself, and you let them stay. Why? Let them go. Watch how much lighter life feels without them.
• Constantly tearing yourself down? That voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough - it’s not you. It’s fear, insecurity, and lies. Shut it up. You deserve better.
• Grieving something you lost long ago? Maybe it’s a person, a dream, or the version of you that didn’t make it this far. It’s okay to grieve. Just don’t let it keep you from creating something new.
• Running on empty and pretending you’re fine? You’re not fine. You’re exhausted, burned out, and it’s showing in ways you can’t even see yet. Stop. Rest. Take care of yourself before you crash.

Healing isn’t pretty. It’s messy, raw, and painful. But staying where you are?

That’s worse.

This is your year to break free.

Hi everyone! As we kick off 2025, i’ve been thinking about everything i’ve learned and where i want to go next. here’s a quick summary of what the last couple of years have looked like for me:

-2023: overcame depression, learned a lot about myself, and started to understand my introversion better.

-2024: i made some progress on breaking bad habits, overcame smoking, worked on procrastination (still a work in progress), and started getting into finance and investing.

-2025 goals: my main focus this year is learning trading (scalping, specifically, for quick profits), building multiple income streams, and creating a social circle that feels more like me.

About that last part: i’ve realized that being introverted doesn’t mean i have to either stay home alone all the time or join groups where i don’t fit in. There’s this third option i’ve started exploring: building my own circle, at my own pace, with people i genuinely connect with.

That’s why i’m here: to meet like-minded people who value growth, meaningful conversations, and aren’t afraid to think outside the box. Have you ever tried building your own social circle from scratch? how did it go? Any advice?

Let me know your thoughts, and maybe we’ll figure something out together

Thinking about learning Spanish does dulingo work?

Has anyone done 75 hard? Is it worth it and has it helped you improve your lifestyle?

If you don't know what to pursue in life right now...

PURSUE YOURSELF.

Pursue becoming the healthiest,

happiest, most healed, most

present, most confident version of

yourself.

Then the right path will reveal itsself.

Hey all,

I would say that my self-improvement journey really took off sometime last fall. I've had some thought about basically everything that has happened in my life and I think recently I have seen some improvements that I have not seen before. I was told by my roommate that I seemed more confident than I usually am, and I myself have noticed this as well. Being offline more often has helped so much and exploring new hobbies has been great (mostly photography, which has been my favorite along with reading and occasionally playing my guitalele). I still have these thoughts that creep up on me that tells me that I am not good enough and I am unlovable, but they aren't as frequent and I feel that I have a somewhat better chance at getting over them. I've been hoping this year that I can get myself to attend some meetups to I can meet more people and try to get over my social anxiety which has been around since almost forever.

Recently I've been listening to a lot of the music that I would listen to in high school again, and one of these songs is Weightless by All Time Low. I feel like this song hits different now than it used to, especially with the first line of the chorus "Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year". It hoping this will be the first time that I stay hopeful and make this year the best year I have ever had.

I feel like I’m just stuck in this loop of comparing myself to my friends and my classmates, and I want to break out of it. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. Whenever I would see someone do better than me in something, I would feel discouraged, and start comparing/measuring myself up to them. I would like to know some advice or habits that helped you change, because honestly it’s making me feel miserable. I would appreciate anything. 🥲

My wife just brought this to my attention that I complain too much and it is negatively impacting her. I’m only 32 and my complaining is only getting worse as I get older. Anyone know why I might do this? And maybe some tips on how not to do it? And maybe if anyone has had the same issue and improved upon it? I don’t have an issue with complaining and it doesn’t feel any different to me and I don’t get annoyed with myself or anything because I don’t really notice it…..but just for improving my relationship.

If anyone has any tips or insight that would be great.

2024 was a pretty unproductive year for me and I decided to be a lot better in 2025. However I notice that whenever I try to work on myself, I have a tendency to want to let people know that I'm working on something. It could either be posting on instagram of myself in the gym, or telling my close friends 'i did a run ytd and I want to work on doing it for 3 times a week'. This seemingly always lead to me NOT continuing whatever I was supposed to be working on.

On a psychological note, I think working in silence is also more fulfilling. Hence why I'm trying to adjust my mindset to work in silence. Any tips?

I (26M) finally am trying to get into the dating arena and I really pushed myself out there this New Years. I ended up making out with this one girl at a bar and got her number. I asked her out on date for two days later but ended up getting some sort of cough so I canceled plans with her. Trying not to beat myself up too much about it cause I feel like I may have found a way to chicken out of it. But I just genuinely didn’t want to be ill on a date or get her sick in the process. But I feel I need to celebrate my small win this new year. So Yay me 😁

I’m 23 years old I’ve worked a few good jobs but never ended up sticking with then back in June my gma got hurt so I’ve been taking care of her for 7 months now an I haven’t really been able to work an now she is just on my butt about being lazy or I need to get a job and I mean she is right I do need a job and money but I just can’t force myself to do it like I won’t work a job I know I’ll be miserable at because I wont follow through with it an at the point just makes me look bad an then I waisted that company’s time idk I’m stressed to the max an it’s just hard for me to just go get a random job I’ve applied at 10 jobs in the past 2 months an not a single one hired me I even bugged them and everything so please is someone has advice please help me lol

i've been on this sub before and got some really amazing advice. i think i'm making progress in regards to being kinder to myself, giving myself the love i need rather than wanting it from other people.

anyway, i've got a different issue. i find it really difficult to really want to do anything. i think it's probably burn out, but i've become more and more anhedonic as the year went.

my goal is to get the simple stuff done first -- actually get the energy to brush my teeth before bed, wash my face before bed, play video games without talking myself out of it and then lying in bed for the rest of the day.