/r/calmhands
r/calmhands is a community based around kicking the habit of kicking compulsive habits such as nail biting and nail picking. The goal of the sub is for you to be able to share resources, photos, and accountability with a lovely community that wants to do the same. Together we got this!
Hi and welcome to r/calmhands a place where people go if they want to learn to be calmer in order to stop skin picking, nail biting, hair pulling or other nervous habits they have by examining what gets them started in the first place, trying to stop and forgiving yourself when you give in.
All healing contributions are welcome! Anger expressed at other users, off topic jokes that don't directly relate to healing, posts that are negative that don't directly relate to getting better will not be tolerated.
Here are some guidelines for this subreddit:
1)Please Block and Report trolls. It will not be tolerated.
2)Please write the words "trigger warning" or "picture trigger warning" if you are going to write graphic and descriptive details about your habit or post a graphic picture. (Possible flairs coming soon).
3)Please post your story about how you developed the habit you have and if there are any times you remember stopping yourself. You are brave for posting.
You are a human being and you are beautiful since you are alive. Everyone has weak points and makes mistakes but you can overcome them! Even with red spots, bald spots and bitten nails you are beautiful and you can do amazing things with your body!
Please post your experience with telling others about your habit, as some habits like nail biting are more “mainstream” than others like skin picking. A lot of these habits hold power because they are done in secret. Remember the people who care about you should listen if you find a good time to tell them and ask them to listen and not comment. Hopefully they will give you a hug too.
Related Communities
Compulsive Skin Picking - A forum focused on a form of OCD called Compulsive Skin Picking.
Trichsters - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.
Trichotillomania - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.
OCD - A forum for people with any type of OCD.
Anxiety - A forum for anxious people
FAQ*
- Why did you guys start this community?
/r/Calmhands is a community to be able to connect with other people who have the same issues you may have. We believe that it’s easier to stop a bad habit when you’re got a group to help support you along the way. Through support each other our goal is to help stop bad habits whether it’s nail biting, skin picking, hair pulling, etc.
- What are body repetitive behaviors?
Well, there are a lot. Trichotillomania and dermatillomania to name a few. Those include things like cheek biting, skin picking, nail biting, etc. These are related to OCD but are not OCD and so typically require a different type of treatment.
- Well if it isn’t OCD but related, what treatment will help?
Well there are a ton of different treatments. Things like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical therapy, hypnosis, NAC amino acid, etc. Here in the /r/calmhands community we focus on being your cheerleaders and the best support group we can be.
- I feel I need more help, where can I get that?
Well we have some for you. Check out our addition resosources section below, it’s an ever growing list that anyone and everyone is welcome to message the mods to help expand. In the list below each resource will be described in a bit more detail.
Additional Resources
The TLC Foundation for Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (www.BFRB.org) is the major US organization that funds research for a cure, hosts training sessions for treatment professionals, and provides support for the community. They also host an annual conference and have a listing of hair salons and therapists on their website. It was started in the 90s by a hair puller, Christina Pearson.
Heart & Soul Academy (https://hasacademy.org/) - Christina Pearson now runs Heart & Soul. She has focused more on integrative health strategies and how they can help us all heal. They hold an annual retreat.
www.CanadianBFRB.org is a Canadian-based org primarily focused on building awareness and supporting the community. Their blog has many useful tips. This is volunteer run. Please reach out if you want to help them!
www.PickingMe.org is a foundation started by a compulsive skin picker for compulsive skin pickers. Their goal is to build awareness through outreach to treatment professionals. They also provide support to support groups.
/r/calmhands
53,777 Subscribers
Starting an accountability series
I am starting a YouTube channel to keep myself accountable with stopping nail/skin biting. I also developed (w/ChatGPT assistance) a scoring system and tracking sheet to quantify progress.
I'm starting at a level 30.
Anyone want to join me on this journey? Would love ideas/help. This has been a lifelong issue for me.
YouTube: https://youtu.be/FXYXgHHpmC8?si=vNRDUAEbPBrVprr0
Scoring System: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Uk-qldK7ucQtq6beZ65vU5516x_y2QYJk0hcRANfLGo/edit?usp=sharing
Tracking Sheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Trh8buKY7N1fuyNUA6R-fwnN0zteYTEcR8YIJ3QqZHY/edit?usp=sharing
16:14 UTC
Relapsed in the last few days, feeling pretty bad
Final exams season is upon me and I ended up relapsing into my bad habit of destroying my cuticles. The middle finger of my right hand is pretty unsightly right now, and the right edge of the ring finger adjacent to it is bleeding. Sigh...hoping that I can exercise some self control these next few days and recover for the long-term. Advice on what to do after a relapse? I don't really like to use bandaids on my fingers because the skin underneath gets macerated.
22:14 UTC
do you pull your hair?
Hi all, Psychology researchers are trying to learn more about some of the body-focused repetitive behaviors mentioned in this sub-reddit. If you might be interested in participating in a short survey, check out the advert below!
Study title: Exploring Emotions in Adolescent Hairpulling
Ethics Reference: R91747/RE001
Are you aged 16-18 living in the UK? Researchers at the University of Oxford are looking for people who pull hair from anywhere on their body to complete a 30min online study. Taking part in this research will help us learn more about the way that young people who hair-pull feel. If you complete this survey, you can enter a prize draw to win an Amazon voucher. To begin, scan the QR code or follow this link: https://oxfordxpsy.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9ouNMxZ7vg7ot82
13:28 UTC
Not Calm
Just lost it at work and all my nails are short again. Time to start the caring and healing process, both mentally and physically this time. 🤍
17:01 UTC
Can picking skin and causing small wounds cause cancer
I've been picking skin for more than 10 years now. I started biting my nails and after the nails was not big enough to to bite I started biting skin . And eventually I began picking my skin until it becomes a wound. I read in some articles that picking skin can cause skin cancer and it's considered as constant trauma. Is that actually true will someone get cancer because of constant trauma .
13:31 UTC
My perfectionism trumps my neuroticism.
I hate wearing nail polish. It has to be maintained, it requires applying acetone to your unprotected hands to get rid of, it reacts with common products like insect repellent and turns tacky, it stinks to apply, and it can affect the ability of healthcare providers to assess circulation. It also sends the message that you’re trying to look good, which changes the way people interact with you and talk about you.
It sucks that it has been the only thing to successfully keep me from peeling the skin from my fingertips. I see my nice clean healthy nails, and I can feel my perfectionism taking over my neuroticism. Anyone else experience this?
03:35 UTC
Fake nails that I can't pick off?
Hi all, honestly I don't know if such a thing exists but I figure this is a good place to ask.
Basically I love having fake nails on, partially because it stops me from biting the skin around my nails/my nails themselves, and partially because they look nice. My issue is that I've never been able to keep them on for more than a few days at a time. Either they fall off on their own or I bite/pick at the edges, then they start to lift and I pick them fully off. This always leaves my nails so thin and brittle that the next set I put on comes off even quicker, and the cycle continues.
I recently went about 6 months with no fake nails and weekly nail care to get my nails stronger. They were in decent shape so I thought I'd try again. I've done everything you're supposed to do with fake nails - rough up the beds, dehydrator, primer, I've tried nail glue, uv gel with extensions that are the proper size for my nails, builder gel, I've gotten acrylics professionally done, but everything I try I'm able to bite/pick off within a couple days (usually within the first day)
For those who use fake nails to stop biting/picking their skin, is there anything you've done/used that you just CAN'T pick off? I don't care if it's hard to remove when I actually want to remove them - I just want to like my hands for longer than a couple days 🥲
14:42 UTC