Sorry if this post is a mess, I'm sleep deprived and stressed out.

I'm about 10 days sober. For the first 6 days, it was just sleep deprivation, but now I'm having the vivid dreams that everyone was talking about. Except they're nightmares. Disturbingly realistic nightmares. I started my downhill into weed because of trauma, and I guess it's all coming back to me. I'm not just exhausted, but I feel psychotic. I wake up feeling absolutely disturbed. I went to therapy 2 days ago after a long hiatus, and that might've made things worse.

I know relapsing isn't the answer. It'll only prolong this issue, not resolve it. But what am I supposed to do? Even sleeping to "feeling safe" hypnosis and other similar things doesn't help. Therapy didn't help. Soothing tea or other superficial things won't help. Reading books about trauma doesn't help. Journaling hasn't helped. I feel like I'm losing my mind and descending into trauma, fight responses, and anger.

Will this actually get better? Or is this just my life right now? Has anyone experienced nightmares? Will they really go away?? Am I going crazy? Or maybe I already am... I feel like it...

I'm around two months clean after 10 years of heavy cannabis use, mainly used to dull C-PTSD and childhood trauma. It's been really rough; intense paranoia, extreme anxiety, no desire to do anything, not sleeping or eating right. Although recently it has seemed to have shifted somewhat, and I'm seeing glimmers of hope.

My therapist told me to appreciate and hold on to those glimmers, and really acknowledge the small wins.

She likened it to scales - Right now, the scales are all the way down on one side (the bad side). If we keep continuing to put stuff on the other side, even if it's the size of a grain of sand, eventually they will tip to be balanced.

Alternatively, you can buy a bag of pebbles and a big glass jar, and for every small win you have, put a pebble in the jar. Or do a tally chart on a piece of paper, eventually the jar (or paper) will be full!

A small win can be anything.

Apologies if it helps no one, but I found it to be quite profound.

Does anyone else have this problem? Almost 36 and have been smoking since 19...for awhile now everytime I smoke I start to develop regret because I wanted to quit and just went and got high again. Then when I'm sober all I want to do is get my next hit and if I'm out will usually make the 2 hour round trip to go get more. The minute I have it in my possession and take a hit I'm immediately disappointed and want to quit, but don't want to toss money in the garbage. I have a LLR vape right now about halfway full I'm thinking of tossing, but I feel like I'll jist go buy more tomorrow then when I'm bored or talk myself into it...I never imagined it would come to this point when trying to quit or take a break lol...Sorry for the long post.

I was addicted to weed , smoked everyday with breaks of 2~ months. This time i have almost 3 months sober and Happy, at the en i always ended abusing It again after the pauses. The question is, after being addicted, could be posible to use some times? (Not going to try It before 4-6months clean)

nearly 3 hours into day 1. many thoughts, too fast, but need to get outta my head. it's basically just fear. of what? life, honestly. actually having to live and do things, small things and big things, and the fear of doing them wrong or imperfectly that has been hiding under the haze of more or less daily use.

i've quit for long stretches before, i can do it again, i know what to expect, but god am i scared. and not the fun, thrilling horror movie sort of fear that i love - it's different. it's like... dread. genuine dread.

it's sunny and windy, i'm at my neighborhood coffee shop journaling. i have therapy in an hour and then work after that. as soon as i start thinking about my life and responsibilities beyond like, 2 hours from now, i get overwhelmed and scared and want to just check out of life and use again. but every time i do, i feel bad. and every time i let the urge pass without giving in, i feel strong.

but god, i forgot how grueling the beginning stage is!!!!

What do you do when you’re stuck in this cycle? Have a lot of freedom at my job and no one monitors me. I basically went to the dispensary before work yesterday and used all day. I felt shame so I tossed the vape pen. Well now it’s the next morning and i forgot I have nothing in my life worth being sober for. My depression, loneliness, and anger is creeping up and I have to work a 10 hour shift? Fuck that… I have to go the dispensary to escape my sorrows. The cycle repeats. Advice?

This is the only withdrawal symptom I can't tolerate. It's so bad. I will be sweating and feeling cold and then suddenly extremely hot. I'll take off a few layers and I'll start feeling very cold and the cycle repeats. Is there anything I can do to help myself regarding this or do I just wait for my body to go back to normal?

Hey guys

I'm not a heavy user, but I do smoke regularly. When I feel like I deserve a treat, I'll often get myself a joint. I don't enjoy it as much as I used to and want to quit this habit for all the reasons you're familiar with on this sub.

However, I often end up with cravings and I'm looking for a replacement (not drugs) whenever I want to treat myself. I just haven't found anything that I enjoy as much, weed just scratches that itch... but I also regret it at the same time.

What can I get for myself as a healthy alternative whenever the cravings come, or when I simply want to treat myself?

Hey everyone. I just want to come on here to tell everyone about marijuana anonymous. You don’t have to be an addict, you can just sit and listen. There are meetings all day every day over zoom from all over the world. The community has been life changing for me. You can keep you video off, and sound off and just listen. But I can’t recommend it enough. Even if you’re not ready to quit, or if you’re not sober. There are groups that accept everyone. Just google Marijuana Anonymous and click on “find a meeting” on their home page. It’s been essential for my healing. Thanks everyone

So it’s been 33 days since I last smoked and honestly I’m feeling like shit .. my heart is racing especially in the morning .. it would easily be between 90-110 bmp when sitting down .. I still have chest pain .. I’ve went to the hospital twice and they said my heart was fine … I thought I would be feeling much better after two weeks :(

I am so mad at myself for being back in this place. Day ONE, for literally like the 20th time. I’ve had a lot of time clean over the last few years, and as soon as I let it back in, I’m back to smoking bowls every night and wondering why I don’t have any extra money. My longest break was somewhere around 108 days. I crawled slowly back into my daily habit after that. I was able to have a few times that it was one day of smoking and then stopping, I thought I found some balance and control. What a liar addiction is. I’m not someone who can taper off, I don’t have the self control. As soon as I have a little taste, all the work of tapering off goes in the trash. I don’t know about all of you but withdrawal is brutal. I’ve done a lot of work with a therapist so I no longer completely lose it emotionally when I quit, but night sweats are intense and I’m lucky to sleep at all. Sleep is the biggest thing that holds me back from stopping and keeps me stuck, but there is no way around the uncomfortableness of quitting. So here I am again, I want to go an entire year and I’m not waiting for January. Please send encouragement because I’m feeling pretty defeated, even though I’m ready to do this - again.

I stopped getting high exactly 2 weeks ago after 5 years of daily smoking, usually in the evening on weekdays and all day at weekends. After 2 days I slept like a baby again and didn't sweat more than normally anymore. So that was kinda chill. I still eat less than before, but that's actually not too bad.

The biggest issue I have is the lack of motivation for anything, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to read anymore, gaming is boring AF, I don't clean, I don't cook. More than a year ago I started going to the gym again and built a solid routine for a pothead. Haven't been there for 2 weeks, the longest gym break I have had for a year. Instead, I just sleep 4 more hours a day out of boredom.

I feel like I am worse off not getting high, but probably my addiction just wants to trick me.

Can anybody relate and give some advice?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 28-year-old woman, and I wanted to share my experience and ask for some advice. I started smoking weed occasionally when I was 22 (once a week or so), but for the last year, I’ve been smoking daily—sometimes just one joint, other days up to 15.

Six weeks ago, I decided to quit completely, and overall, I feel pretty good about it. The first two weeks were rough, though—I had intense night sweats, waking up drenched. Luckily, that got better after those initial weeks.

But now I’ve noticed some other issues:

• I’ve been having frequent diarrhea / my digestion is faster and need to go to the bathroom more often. (Never had Problems with my digestion before)
• The night sweats are back (not as strong), along with hot flashes during the night.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?
When can I expect my digestion to normalize?
Will the sweating and hot flashes stop eventually?
Is there anything I can do to speed up recovery or make these symptoms more manageable?

Thanks in advance for any advice or similar experiences you’re willing to share! 😊

Today is the day that the voice in my head that wants to be alert and engaged got louder than the one that wants to be numb and withdrawn.

Met two girls this past month and I have extreme difficulty getting it up. We cuddle and make out and get undressed but when it comes time to it I have like no flow down there.

This has ruined my confidence and relationships with woman and I feel really bad about it. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s from watching porn throughout the week or from daily heavy smoking.

If anyone has experience with this problem I’d appreciate your experience or advice. I’m thinking of stopping smoking because of this. I’m only 22 and having this issue is insane.

I have been a heavy smoker for maybe 8 years? That’s everyday, multiple times a day. Wake up and smoke. Lunch time? Smoke. After work until bed time? Smoke.

My body forced me to quit on Friday the 6th (today is day 6 sober) when I got hit with some severe depersonalization. Set me into some crazy panic attacks like I’ve never had. Feels like an Existential crisis x10. I feel like I’m in a dream state.

The first few days were panic attacks and anxiety like no other. Shaking, crying. Couldn’t drive. I had to have my parents pick me up from swimming because I didn’t trust myself to drive. I haven’t been able to eat/keep food down since. I’m cold, then hot. I puked on day 1, and have been trying to puke again since I have the feeling that I need to but nothing comes up. I almost feel like I’m “too high” right now. Like when you take too many edibles.

I’ve almost gone to the ER twice. But I’m scared that I’ll tell them I don’t think I’m a real person and they’ll put me in a psych ward.

I’m normally a very active person, I swim on a US masters team, I run, I lift, I even have a horse that I do hunter jumper shows with. But I’m so weak I can barely go for walks right now. It doesn’t help that it’s -5 degrees outside either.

Sleeping sucks, crazy dreams and when I close my eyes it’s a trippy feeling too. My symptoms seem to get worse at night.

Before I stopped smoking I thought weed withdrawals were fake. I have very much been proved otherwise.

What has helped you guys get through these bizarre thoughts and feelings? Has anyone else had depersonalization / derealization? It’s been really hard for me because I’m scared I’ll feel like this forever.

Thank you for reading and I welcome your input.

On my 3rd month now, proud of being nearly 90 days sober! But my main problem is that even though that I achieved sobriety and I am quite optimist about my future, I just eat too much junk food and drink plenty of coca cola. Apart from that, other habits start to raise which I consider unhealthy, like somoking tobacco.

Any advices? What healthy habits did you start implementing to ged rid of bad habits?

I am one month clean after smoking a gram every 3 days for the past 2 years, and I still have trouble focusing on tasks and short term memory trouble.. kind of brain fog. When does it go away?

I still have no energy, I’m tired all day and I can’t even find energy to clean my house or do even the smallest tasks like washing dishes.. feeling hopeless

Hey guys, im currently 6 days sober after going on a three-day bender with both edibles and joints involved.

During my previous attempts at quitting i have been able to abstain during weekdays, mostly because i need to wake up early for work. However, i get every other weekend off and that’s when I’ve relapsed many times before. This weekend is one of those and I’m already feeling the urge.

Any advice on how to avoid this trap? Much appreciated.

I’m 14 days sober now after daily abuse for 6 years and i’m not productive at all. I’ve just been hanging about not really doing anything except gaming and sleeping.

Just like before. But the difference is now i’m confronted by the dull life i’ve created for myself. I feel like i should be doing all sorts of things now and its taking a hit on my morale to be better. I cant shake the feeling that since nothing is noticeably different i should just go back to what i was doing before. I know it sounds dumb but i just needed to share and say it out loud.

Sleep has gotten better, as in i am getting full nights sleep again. But i feel like a fish out of water and its really hard for me to keep a clear narrative in my head about what i’m supposed to be doing now and what my values are. When i smoked i felt like i could notice why i act and think the way i do, information on how to improve and that brought me here to this point. Something which i feel like i lost. And now i feel lost.

Thank you all for being here. This sub feels like my lifeline.

I was sober for a few months but, at the end of September went on a bender.I've prioritized my vape pen over anything else. I felt faint for the last week and due to the potency/intake I experienced a seziere which was terrifying. Its been 2 days and I can barely walk still... this gave me the strength to put the pen down... but even then I had to have my husband throw it out so I couldn't find it later...just hate that it had to get to this point for me to quit.

First of all, thank you to everyone who supplied input on my last post. I read every comment and they all helped me in one way or another. I'm now on day 7 of not smoking, and it's my birthday as well. I want to celebrate after work, but for the first time in the 10ish years since I started smoking, I don't want to smoke.

The withdrawals have been rough, but honestly not as bad as I expected. The worst part is not sleeping. I might have gotten a combined 16 hours over the week. And for the first couple of days I had zero appetite and couldn't even force myself to eat. I have also been a little more easily irritated, but that hasn't been an issue.

Now for the perks. After ONLY 7 days, my memory is already getting better. I talk to my dad on the phone daily because we live far apart, and I've actually been remembering things from our conversations the next day. I have motivation and actually want to do things when I get off work, and it feels so freeing. It's like a thick fog is lifting off of me, and it just keeps getting better. I cant believe that I lived under that haze for so long thinking it was okay, and even safe.

If you remember my last post, my boyfriend still smokes. The weekend after I made my first post, I let him smoke next to me while I just sat and enjoyed his company. He offered to go to his car, but I didn't want him to feel like he had to. It was cold as shit outside, and I just wanted him to be comfortable. I was slightly tempted, but every time a dab would send him into a coughing fit, I would think to myself, "yeah I definitely don't miss that feeling." And him being the loving and supportive partner that he is, if I made a comment about wanting some his reply would be, "ew, no you definitely don't, this stuff is gross, smell." And I smelled the bong water and gagged, really cementing in the grossness for me.

To the person that commented on my last post talking about saying that it'll be easy out loud helps, thank you. I was sitting with him while he smoked, literally telling myself out loud that I don't want to smoke, and that its bad for me. And it worked. Every time I said, "I don't want this," it just drove it home a little bit more, and the urge to join in went away.

7 days in, and I have almost zero urge to go back to smoking. I can't wait for the withdrawals to subside so I can get a good nights sleep, but it is getting better by the day. Quitting before the holidays was the best decision I could have made. As someone else said on my last post, the best time to quit is always now. I agree wholeheartedly. I'm so excited to make actual memories this Christmas instead of floating through.

Thank you leaves community, you have helped send me on a great path for the future. Good luck to anyone out there struggling. You got this, just willpower your way through. Use positive affirmations. Talk to people about it. Make it happen for yourself, and you'll be better off for it.

I recently quit, and I’m having intense night terrors to the point where I wake up feeling completely horrified and unsure of what’s real. I know they usually subside over time, but right now, they’re really troubling. Does anyone relate? Have you found anything that helps?

day 18 here after 10 years of blazing all day everyday, running has been the #1 thing keeping me sane, also helps with the worse part(for me) of feeling anxious randomly throughout the day..When the body and mind are too tired from running there’s no time to be anxious..just my two cents

Hello, when I started working with my friends they all smoked and I would hit it once or twice or sometimes smoke a lot. I couldn’t smoke at home so I bought a dab pen, I used the dab pen for almost 6-7 months I know it’s not long but I recently just stopped and decided to never smoke again, but I am in bed at 6:09 wide awake like I just woke up, I barely ate anything today. Nothing tasted good or even if it did my stomach would reject it and I would feel like throwing up, is there a way where I can eat and sleep, i love going to the gym and I work extremely hard for my body but the fact that I can’t sleep or eat and have work in the morning. I am soo lost.

Hello everyone, i am using weed daily since 2 years. Now im at a state that i dont feel anything... does anyone have this issue too?

like normal feelings like love or fear...

a few days ago my mum had an accident and i didnt feel anything... i was not worried or sad which is really odd because my mother is everything for me.

at this point i realised something is off...

is this a normal thing when using weed?

thanks everyone

I'm on day 4 and it feels like it's peaking right now. It's currently 5:30am and I am sweating, shaking, and feel so nauseous. The first few days have been horrible, i've been so so anxious, no appetite, and feel physically sick. I don't know how to cope with this. I live at home with my mom (i'm 17) and she doesn't know about me withdrawing but I am so close to telling her because it feels so debilitating and I need support. But she would obviously be upset and mad. This community is the only thing keeping me going. I feel hopeless. please if you can give me any advice or support. should i talk to my mom? or will i regret it because maybe i'll feel better soon. fuck i don't know .

Update: i told her, by the way she's a therapist, so she was nothing but supportive and empathetic. I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest. I'm so grateful she's in the profession she is because I can't imagine telling someone who doesn't understand any of this shit. Thank you guys for the support.

And I quit cigs a week and a half ago so I am going THROUGH IT lol.