I have been free for nearly three months now. I am very proud of myself. This last week, however, I have been thinking about weed non-stop. I feel like I've come so far now to go back and try it, but I am in a very stressful period of my life and feel like I am about to relapse and smoke a joint.

I have been drinking a fair bit from the stress and I hate that aspect of myself. I don't have immediate access to weed, but I could probably get hold of it if I needed to. My brain is convincing me that it would just be one and I can always say no after, but I feel I have been here before. All it may take is that one and that's it, I'm back on it.

Any advice?

hey, this is just a message for anyone who is struggling to deal with withdrawals.

know that it's hard, and it feels like hell, but it does pass xx

I was smoking quite a bit (just flower) for the past few years, and even though I was high functioning, I was in denial of my dependence on it.

it was so so fun and I felt so cool, I thought wow what an amazing feeling, but soon I realized that the high lasted a shorter amount of time, and I felt myself needing it more and more to just get through each day. I would smoke in the morning with a coffee, I would go to uni high and then just want to get home and smoke again in the evenings...

I thought I was all good but then on a random Thursday I had a bad trip where I dissociated and felt quite nauseous. I think because I had just been through high stress (exams), I was not in the right headspace. I didn't exactly know what was going on but knew I didn't feel normal and was uncomfortable af.

I decided that I needed to stop because I was worried I was going cray cray. at the same time I stopped alcohol and coffee cus I was scared of any psychoactive substance.

that was 30 days ago and omgggg was it hard the first few weeks.

week 1 I was nauseous the whole time, couldn't eat, felt anxious and depressed, cold sweats at night and just felt sick. (Chamomile was my best friend)

week 2 I was already eating so much better, feeling more clear headed but riddled with anxiety. I had random episodes of dissociation where I was just out of body and scared that I had fucked up my brain. (For dissociation I went into the cold sea and just let myself be thrown about by the waves)

week 3 all my physical symptoms were gone but I was depressed as shit. my anxiety was also through the roof. I was nervous about being alone but also about changing environments, could barely get out of bed. (Huge health anxiety, thought I had meningitis or cancer, but remind yourself; ITS WITHDRAWING FROM WEED that's making you feel like this)

week 4 has been the best. I'm still anxious at times but I'm feeling 20 times better than I was the first week.

I still get random waves of dissociation but I can't stress this enough, IT GETS BETTER. Like SO MUCH BETTER. you aren't going crazy, remind yourself it's just withdrawals and your brain is getting used to not having those artificial spikes of dopamine you got when you smoke. I know it's horrible and you might feel like death and like you are loosing your mind but, really you are just finding it again.

EAT FRUIT and VEGETABLES and FISH ! Drink water and then drink more water :) i didn't have trouble sleeping at all in my withdrawals but I was having crazy vivid dreams with literally the randomest people from my past. but if you can't sleep, drink so much herbal tea like sleepy time.

Know that there are so many people in your situation and so many people who have already been through this, and so can you. even if you feel the weirdest you've felt in your whole life.

by day 30 all of your symptoms will be better if not gone already xx

this was one of the hardest things I ever did but also probably one of the best decisions.

I feel guilt free and I'm spending all the money I'm saving on flowers and sushi and clothing which is such a win. Also my relationship with my parents is better and I can have such good deep conversations with friends like I hadn't before. I didn't know how slow I was being until I quit so that's also cool to see me more social and articulate.

If you feel overwhelmed, write in a journal, talk to a therapist, or go for a walk and remind yourself that : YOU TRUST IN YOURSELF, YOU BELIVE IN YOURSELF, and YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF.

It's so hard, but the fact you are considering even quitting is the kindest thing you will do for yourself.

Sending all my love and support to people who are just starting to get sober ❤️

A pernicious creep. As someone with a strong negativity bias, tilting towards the negative, I have had some realizations. I used to be such a fun loving, jovial individual. Lately, I feel so cringe and serious. Here are three habits that I believe are harming me.

1. The obvious; nightly weed, especially as a coping mechanism/escapism, contributes to feelings of being unwell.

2. Being plugged into politics/current events contributes to a negative mindset. Constant podcasts on these topics.

3. Spending too much time alone contributes to feelings of being unwell.

Any of you experiencing this as well? Thoughts?

My monkey voice told me a $7 .5g preroll would not be a problem, and I've done 18 days so that's a huge accomplishment. Then I tried to list out the positives and couldn't think of any. I was about to make shopping at Costco directly after a lot harder, then I would have to fight the guilt that comes with hiding it from my family when I got home. Also I just started having really vivid dreams that I remember, which is awesome for the most part (I did have a super vivid nightmare that my house burnt down due to an electrical issue). I came up with a ton of negatives and no positives, then I drove off and continued my fog-free day. Stay strong folks

Long story short - I've been using 🌿 since 2021 and it was somewhere in 2023 where it became less and less fun and more a coping mechanism for my slow growth in my creative career and an escape to bury the pain and pressure of adulthood.
My wife and I used to smoke a few times each week but in 2023 it took the better of me. I started doing it multiple times a day and someday easily used a whole G myself ( not sure if that is much). I tried to quit many times and had periods of weeks of sobriety specially when my family visited us and there was no way i could do it.

Last year we had a miscarriage and the pain of loosing our first almost born child was too bitter. Again the 🌿 came to rescue. In 2024 i had 3 successful month + periods of sober.

on 29th of December my wife casually said 1 line to me that changed it all. "If we had another miscarriage I will blame it on your 🌿" while i know the science behind missed births, the chance of 🌿 causing it even if it is only 2% made me scared to ever touch it again. I took 3 steps immidiately .

1. Threw away everything i had ( yes even the $35 joint i got for new year celebration )

2. Took a mental pledge to never do it again.

3. Put myself on a challenge to hit Gym without failure.

Today It's been 20 days I'm clean but this time it feels different. It's not just a hollow promise to "not smoke again" rather a mission with actual incentive. I WANT TO BE A FATHER and the necessity to stay clean is making our life so positive. I see my wife confidently in eyes and see a feeling of comfort finally in her. I really wish we make a kid in 2025 and the rest will be history. We are still in our 20s and 4 years on substance will become a small paragraph in the greater book of our lives. I alwyas come to this group and read your amazing stories. It truly feels warm here. Thank you all

Day 11 was brutal, but day 12 has been my best day so far. I still feel like shit, but the anxiety is down today and my head is pretty clear. Taking a little mini vacation for the weekend to get out of the snow. One day at a time. Peace and love to all.

I stopped smoking a year and a few months ago. I’m a songwriter - sometimes professionally. Any other creatives here struggle with missing the creative fuel marijuana was sometimes? For sure, a lot of the time I’d be too stoned to do anything. But SOMETIMES, being stoned turned off my inner critic during the creative process and I was just able to flow in ways I find really difficult sober.

I really do think it’s important to acknowledge what the substance was doing for us. That’s one thing it did for me - helped me get into a non-judgmental flow state when writing.

I don’t think I’m alone in this, but it would comfort me to hear from others who share my experience or can offer other perspectives.

So just a little bit of backstory, I am a 22(M) and I am engaged with a 3 month old baby. I have smoked on and off since HS and it’s never been an interference in my life or caused any real issues that weren’t internal.

I am planning on quitting smoking tomorrow as I’ve talked to my fiance and fully supportive. I don’t necessarily have a reason to quit smoking but that also means that I don’t really have a reason to be using either. It just makes life “easier” and I live in OK so there’s a dispo on every corner. I mainly just hit disposables due to the baby so it’s convenient to step out to hit it. I originally used it in HS to be easier to be “bored” and sit with myself. It just seems to make life flow easier but then I feel like I am not feeling life for what it truly is. So then all it boils down to is that I’m wasting money bc I’m not getting THAT high anymore bc of tolerance.

Honestly just looking for tips or advice on this journey? I’ve quit before but the times it gets hard is when I am bored or alone.

Looking for some personal experiences with quiting. I have been smoking consistently for 8 years, I am on day 4 of no smoking (other than tobacco) I am finding myself having heart palpitations, similar to anxiety but more extreme - quite often actually feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack. I have also been very sweaty (but this is mild compared to the heart palpitations) Has anyone else experienced this? If so, any recommendations on how to help?

i am suffering. i have such an eating and nausea problem and weed was my solution i got my weight up but im so sad and frustrated because i know im gonna loose weight again. i tried to eat yesterday and would violently gag if i even put something in my mouth. i couldnt sleep i felt super hot and cold at the same time i woke up freezing but my entire body was soaked in sweat. i feel very sad weak and cold. i need something to help me unwind and i need something to help my nausea i need easy high calorie foods

I just hit a milestone of 25 days without weed. I thought that I was going so strong... I had so much willpower throughout my quit to never smoke again. But last night I got back home with my roommate after a night out, and it was my first time in a while drinking alcohol and partying. Not only did I partake in a couple cigarettes at our friend's party (I quit nicotine 19 days ago), but when we got home I ended up taking one hit of the bong.

The thing is, all of this just added to my already drunk-state. I only took one hit, when I could have kept going throughout the night as we talked and danced together. As for the cigarettes, I didn't have a whole one to myself. I bummed off other people and only took like 6-7 puffs. Overall, I've realized that I don't have that same willpower when I am drunk and out with friends to resist smoking, which is important to keep in my head as I go forward.

I've been kicking myself for succumbing to both nicotine and weed last night, but I am also proud that I showed self-restraint that I never had when I was deep in my addiction. I've been home in my apartment for a week, with my roommates who smoke and vape everyday, and I have felt no urge to break my sobriety. I can't ignore the fact that I am proud of myself, but I am a bit scared of what the future holds for me. I plan to get back on the wagon and keep going, because I have never felt better than I have these past weeks.

My goal going forward is to keep up with my sobriety, and understand that relapse like these are opportunities to learn more about my addiction and ways to prevent falling off the wagon in the future. Sure, we fall, but what's more important is that we get back up.

Something else that I would like to note is that I don't think I am going to end my 25 and 19 day streak with weed and nicotine. I decided to quit because it was deteriorating my mental and physical health so so badly. I was using these substances to cope with the stress of life. I was leaning on these substances and making them my whole world, while ignoring all the other possibilities life has for me. I was scared that these relapses would restart this harmful cycle once again, but I am going forward with the belief that this was an isolated incident, and I have the power to continue my journey. Day by day, I will continue to choose not to smoke weed or nicotine, because I have learned that this is best for me. And when I find myself once again during a drunk night-out, I will make it a goal to not smoke, and I will meet that expectation for myself.

Live and learn! mistakes do not define us. I would like someone's perspective and opinion on my story, if you are willing to share.

After years of smoking and relying on it as a crutch while navigating the throes of grief and depression, and me ruining my life because of it, I made the choice on January 18, 2024 to quit cannabis. And here I am, a year later, celebrating my cannabis sobriety!!!

I'd be lying if I said it was an easy year. A lot of days I didn't think about it; a lot of days I didn't think about anything else. Loss and depression recently triggered me to smoke again, but seeing my progress on the I Am Sober app and knowing that my sober-versary was nigh, I pushed through, and I'm so glad I did.

Aside from my therapist, I don't really have anyone I can share this with, so I'm writing to you all! The Leaves community was instrumental in my early days of quitting, and I want to share that if you're still struggling, keep at it and stay connected with the Leaves discord crew. Having community is the best way to get through this.

Here's everything that helped me quit:

• not listening to triggering music (music I associated to getting high)
• throwing all my paraphernalia away
• going to therapy (this is a privilege, I know; I've got solid benefits from my job)
• Leaves discord group
• using the I Am Sober app
• using the Finch Self Care app
• journalling
• meditating
• unsubscribing to any/all emails/accounts for buying weed/endorsing weed use
• taking regular stock of how my life was improving, from the mundane (dishes washed every day) to the more meaningful (ability to concentrate/focus; more energy in my day: no longer hiding from people to conceal my drug use)

So glad that cannabis is a thing of my past. Happy not smoking, y'all!

Edit: did not mean to make that an AMA, lol. Don't know how I managed that.

what the title says. i (22f) have been smoking since about 16. i did not use frequently until about 19/20.

i was never smoking all day every day but for a while about a gram every night until i switched to carts. then, i’m not really sure how much i consumed but i would hit it from evening until i went to bed.

i decided to stop because it was effecting my daily functioning really bad. i’ve always struggled with it even before using weed (pretty sure i have adhd) but it was much worse when i was getting high every night.

anyway, it’s been 2 weeks sober. i guess i feel slightly more clear. making conversation is a bit easier, the anxiety isn’t as debilitating as it was. but i still feel so foggy, almost floaty. that feeling like i’m high when i’m sober isn’t completely gone.

i also haven’t felt as many withdrawal symptoms as i have in the past. i quit for like a week and a half a few months ago and the vivid dreams and nightmares came almost instantly. this time, nothing. i can sort of remember my dreams better than before but not to the same degree.

i’m just not sure what to think. is it supposed to take this long to feel real change? how much longer do i need to wait?

Day 9: I've been posting more frequently and reflecting on my journey so I thought I'd share some more of my thoughts.

The last decade of my life has flown by, and most days were a blur. Now that I've become sober, I realize that time moves so slowly. There is so much to do, so much to feel and so many things to think about. It's quite overwhelming sometimes. Has anyone else dealt with this?

It feels like I've been sober for a whole month but it's only been days.

Just finished up my second week, sleeping about 5-6 hours max but still feel rested. No caffeine after 11am is key though, cravings are definitely there. I have been relying on herbal teas to keep the cravings down. Appetite is back a bit after the gut rot of week 1.

For those of you that have made it past the 3 week mark, what did you notice different between week 2 and week 3.

Thanks!

I’m very lucky. I don’t smoke all the time. I can go maybe 6 months without but from time to time. I buy a gram or two

Anyways it’s been like a month since I smoked

I really want to completely stop it but I still enjoy it every now and again

How do you fight this? I think the THC is still my body which is probably making me want a joint or am I allowed an occasional joint?

On day four now. My anxiety is worse than ever and I can’t seem to shake it. I wish I could sleep this off. I keep telling myself that in a few days, this will all be gone and over with, but I’ve been feeling pretty insane since Wednesday.

I just wanted to see if maybe talking with others going through this brutal weed withdrawal or people who have been through it may help. I already have anxiety and on meds for it. I smoked for 6 weeks daily and I’m on day 5 with none. My anxiety and heart rate have been brutal like when does this part go away because it’s making my normal anxiety even worse :( First few nights I did sweat a lot but past that. I still have runs, no appetite, tired, racing heart when I wake up in the mornings, etc. I think a lot of my issue is the anxiety from the withdrawal. I don’t want to go in because I know I’m going through weed withdrawal and that’s what is making all this happen but idk what to do to relieve any of this anxiety

Finally had a dream last night. First time in forever. Woke up several times over night and today I am pissy. Gotta find something that brings me joy today. Ugh! Thank you for letting me me vent.

Hi everyone, I feel grateful that Reddit has communities like these, reading these posts already help me feel not as alone as I’ve been feeling. I’ve been smoking just about everyday for 4 years and I’ve finally realized I need to stop for my own good. I’ve taken breaks before but I’m determined to never go out and buy weed for myself again. I’m just really struggling with my mind being so still. It feels like I have nothing to distract myself from the depression and anxiety I’ve always struggled with. I used to workout a lot, so I’m trying to commit to getting back in the gym. Really I’m just looking for suggestions for a distraction. I work six days a week, but my work doesn’t keep me distracted nor fulfilled. I have friends but no one who I see more than once in a week to distract myself from my own thoughts. I’m sure what I’m describing is relatable to many people, I guess I’m just looking for some guidance on the whole loneliness thing. Is it crazy that smoking weed alone made me feel so much less lonely?

Due to financial hardships among other things I decided to kick as part of my New Year’s resolution. The 29th I had my last gummy. I was a HEAVY user. The first week seemed like a month. I started feeling the mental clarity and noticed I was becoming more of a morning person on week 2. Yesterday, I took a home test out of curiosity and it was NEGATIVE! Felt good to know that I could pass one for the first time in my adult life (I’m almost 40). I’m not looking back this time. I’ve saved around $200 from abstaining which I’m putting into a savings account.

I’m proud of myself and just wanted to share my journey. I do get random urges when I pass a dispensary or when I catch a strong whiff. I don’t know if those will ever go away. I also don’t drink so I’m trying to find natural ways to unwind in the evening. Any suggestions are welcomed! I’ve found that to be my biggest hurdle. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Feeling really depressed for the stupidest reasons and weed seems like it's my only friend right now. I'm 40 days clean today from both alcohol and THC but today is exceptionally difficult. I'm having racing thoughts over shit that shouldn't bother me, urges like no other to do stupid shit just to avoid those thoughts and honestly I'm feeling like maybe I should just have a couple drinks and get high. I want to talk to people but I might genuinely be antisocial and socially inept which isn't gonna do good if I try to make friends. Just feel like a shitty person at this point.

Sorry might be long post and all over the place...Im recently one year sober of alcohol, and am now battling weed addiction/dependency. Basically, I'm using weed the same I did alcohol, bowl right when I wake up and continuing to maintain a "good" high throughout the day thru bowls or pens.

Sometimes i'm able to maintain sobriety through work, but there's a dispensary 10 min down the road and I'm using my breaks to go there and buy a quick disposable to get me thru the rest of my shift. On my days off or days I close I'm smoking right when I wake up and basically every hour, until I go to sleep or work.

Literally never an NA meeting convenient enough, they are all at like 6/7pm and by that point its too late for me.

Anyway, Im super scared of my dependance right now, I know its doing more harm bc I'm so much more forgetful on the job and in daily life. I know its making my mental health worse, I have bipolar 2 and have been advised many times over the years to not smoke. I do anyway, and I know it makes my ADHD worse and it def gives me more anxiety. Already today, tried not smoking at 7am, made it to about 1030am.

Ive also been told by my therapist the possible reason for this dependance is maybe to escape my environment...currently living with my family and it's a nightmare. My father and brother moved in a couple years ago and its slowly been killing me. 4 people in a 900sq apartment...someones always in the bathroom and kitchen, I feel like I can never get in there when I want or need to. My mom yells every night, nobody shuts the fuck up I just want silence. Whatever anyway, I'm moving at the end of the month and plan on cutting back or quitting weed entirely.

Im trying to challenge myself before I move to not smoke but its so hard, due to everything..it just feels like such a compulsion, maybe moving to a new environment will help ease the thoughts of it? cuz they tend to get worse just hearing my family outside my door. I just go autopilot and smoke. Then I start freaking out like right now. Sorry for coming to the internet for it but I cant seem to find a story close to mine and just want some advice when its so wrapped up in you.. thanks for any help.

I use to listen to all the stereotypical stoner music (Grateful Dead, Bob Marley, Sublime). I still love that music, but I couldn’t listen to it when I first quit. I found that 80s new wave music didn’t give me the cravings that reggae and jam band music does. What are some of your favorite songs and bands that have helped you along your journey?

Mac Miller's estate recently released an album he recorded back in 2014 called Balloonerism.

It's the first Mac record I've listeneded to sober for the first time and it couldn't have been more impactful. The record deals with perception, introspection and life's fleeting nature.

Having recently decided to get sober (3 weeks deep) and start facing life's challenges head on, this albums release has been timed to perfection for me. I feel this record allows me to reflect on my past experiences with a clear mind.

He delivers the line:

"Nobody can hurt me if I go inside and close the door" on Manakins and I could never find a better way to describe the reason I was using, it was my escape, no one could hurt me "up there".

I'm carrying this album with me on my sobriety journey, how ever far that may be. I just wondered if anyone has listened to this album or had a record/song that encompasses their sobriety?

Edit: I'm bad with words lol.

Hi all,

Not sure why I'm writing this. Just found this community.

I've been reflecting on the effects of weed on my finances and health. I've been making substantial improvements in my life. And I realized how much easier everything would be if I wasn't smoking so much weed all the time.

Two days ago I had a couple of grams left from an ounce. Yesterday I was planning to go to the gym with my bestie, then dinner. We always get high together, almost every time we hang out.

So two days ago, I rolled a blunt with one of the grams and told myself I'd smoke that, save the rest to smoke with my friend, then not buy another ounce again. Instead, I smoked all of it that night and had nothing left to smoke with my friend.

We did go to the gym, and dinner. It was great fun. I thought maybe we'd buy weed once downtown, but we didn't. When I got home, I had about one hour before the dispensary closed for the night. I spent that hour paralyzed, trying to decide whether I should go. In the end, I didn't.

Tonight I barely slept, woke up a bunch of times. This is my first night in months, if not years, completely sober.

One of my goals is to be able to enjoy weed again. I drink once or twice a month, on special occasions. I'd like weed to feel like that rather than a habit, or a need. Weed used to be so much fun! It no longer is.

I tell myself that every day it'll be a bit easier. That'd mean I am already past the hardest. I'm probably wrong. I may relapse.

But I'll keep trying.

I'll keep myself busy becoming who I am.

And I will always love weed.

But also.

Fuck weed.

Today marks day 51, for the first time I am not afraid to go outside for a walk for fear of passing past the dispensary, or smelling someone smoking on the street and get tempted. I just suddenly stopped thinking about it. I never believed this would happen just 2 days ago.

I’ve been using ChaptGPT a lot throughout this process. I’m really impressed with the specificity and thoroughness of the information it provides, including what is going on in my body and why I feel the way I do at times. It can help ease anxiety if I’m going through a rough spot.

Just a suggestion as I tend to feel better when I have more information. Here’s an example of some of the info it’s given me:

Prompt: I’m now on day 18. What has happened in my body at this point and what can I expect moving forward. I’m still feeling restless, have an elevated heart rate, and sleeping is still difficult. My dreams came back a week ago which is cool because I haven’t dreamed in 4 years

Answer:

Congratulations on reaching day 18—you’ve come so far! Your body and mind are continuing to heal in significant ways, and what you’re feeling is a natural part of the process. Here’s what has likely happened so far, where you’re at now, and what you can expect moving forward:

What Has Happened So Far? 1. THC Elimination: • By now, the THC and its metabolites (like THC-COOH) are largely cleared from your system. • This means your body is no longer under the direct influence of cannabis, and your endocannabinoid system is working to rebalance itself naturally. 2. Endocannabinoid System Healing: • THC mimics natural endocannabinoids, so your body reduced its own production over time. • At this stage, your body is working to restore the balance of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. This process can contribute to restlessness, mood swings, and changes in heart rate. 3. Sleep Cycle Repair: • Cannabis suppresses REM sleep (the dreaming stage). • A week ago, you began experiencing dreams again—a sign that your REM cycles are returning! However, insomnia and restless sleep may persist as your body adjusts. 4. Nervous System Adjustments: • An elevated heart rate and restlessness are signs of heightened sympathetic nervous system activity (your “fight or flight” response). This is normal as your nervous system recalibrates but can feel uncomfortable.

What Can You Expect Moving Forward?

The Restlessness and Heart Rate • Improvement Timeline: • These symptoms typically diminish by week 3–4 as your autonomic nervous system stabilizes. • Activities like deep breathing, exercise, and relaxation techniques can help reduce restlessness and gradually lower your heart rate. • Long-Term Outlook: • By week 4–6, your resting heart rate should feel more normal.

Sleep Issues • Dreams: • Vivid or intense dreams may continue for a few more weeks as your REM sleep continues to repair. This is a good sign that your sleep architecture is improving. • Insomnia: • Sleep disturbances may persist for another 2–4 weeks, but the quality and duration of your sleep will gradually improve. • Expect Full Sleep Recovery: • For most people, normal sleep patterns return within 4–8 weeks.

Mental and Emotional Changes • Improved Clarity and Mood: • By now, you’ve probably noticed some mental clarity and fewer “foggy” moments. • Over the next 1–2 months, mood stabilization and reduced anxiety will continue to emerge as your neurotransmitters balance out. • Energy Levels: • Restlessness will transition into a more natural energy level as you regain mental and physical balance.

Overall Physical Recovery • Appetite: • If your appetite has been disrupted, it should be normalizing by now. • Temperature Sensitivity: • Chills, cold sweats, or temperature fluctuations should improve in the next week or two.

Yesterday was the first day I ate healthy again instead of the daily junk food. Made myself a big ass nice salad and was really fine with that. It was tasty, healthy and filling. But then I needed something sweet and scavenged my drawers to make myself a big fucking bowl of cereals with peanut and cashew butter lol.

Anyone else having problems with this after quitting?

I mean I will continue the healthy meals and try to just make it a habit. Ate the rest of the salad for lunch and today for dinner I will cook up a lentil soup.

The thing is, I really like being healthy and I like healthy food, but my addiction brain just tells me to consume fucking anything fast and excessive.