https://youtu.be/YWFPYpafDCk

Been making some at home workouts because gyms are closed and I don't want to make excuses for not working out! This workout includes some equipment but I will be making more soon that don't, in order to help those who don't have equipment with them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU8gdd9g8D8

Ever heard of the fixed mindset vs. the growth mindset? How about the Iceberg Illusion?

When you look at someone who's successful, you're looking at their end, not the journey they had to get there.

https://youtu.be/2xKN27-IUXs

http://m-dotboston.bandcamp.com/album/ego-and-the-enemy

I had a really crappy Christmas and New Year and I've been feeling really bad about the whole thing. I started to think of things in a different perspective. Like, why should we put pressure on ourselves to feel a certain way over the holidays when time is really just kind of fabricated? We should be able to feel the joy and inspiration that the holidays bring WHENEVER we want. I explain a lot in this youtube video I made (down below). But basically, I think that any time is the time for a fresh start. It doesn't have to be exactly Jan 1. So I hope this can give you guys some inspiration to make goals TODAY even if you feel like it is "too late" or already past the new year. Lots of love <3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tryzsrMwJZc&feature=youtu.be

“Never chase a woman.”

Great for attracting her initially.

But once you’re dating or in a relationship, it can actually harm you.

I am going to explain why this “Never chase a woman” principle isn’t black and white.

I also made a video to help you remember these principles fast. (Combining text-based and auditory information helps retention.)

Here is the link: https://youtu.be/eNsK0GEW_4c

___

Chasing like a rabid dog is bad.

But so is being too indifferent.

Let me illustrate with a personal story.

Stage 1: Let her come to you initially

I met this girl at a club, chatted her up, and we exchanged numbers.

The next day, Anna texted me first.

She chased me and I didn’t need to chase her at all.

That’s how I attracted her.

1. She felt safe knowing I wasn’t a stalker. “There’s no risk for me.”
2. Her interest went up because I was mysterious. “Why doesn’t he blow up my phone like all those other dudes?”
3. My patience communicated strength rather than neediness. “He doesn’t need me and that’s so sexy!”

Morgan Freeman said:

“Don’t chase women. They’ll chase you. If you see a lady and you don’t go drooling all over her, she’s gonna wonder why.”

Initially, being indifferent helped me attract Anna.

But soon, it stopped working.

Stage 2: Open up while dating

As we dated, I kept playing hard to get instead of opening up slowly.

It’s not that I now had permission to blow up her phone.

But I had to get involved in the relationship emotionally:

1. I am a macho man all the time → I can be vulnerable sometimes.
2. I have options with women → I might have other options but I choose her over them.
3. I have higher priorities → Although she’s not my number one priority, she is becoming more important.

And what did I actually do?

I overdid the “Never chase a woman” principle.

I was a cold fish and had a hard time bonding.

Stage 3: “Chase” gently as a leader in a relationship

Still, we dated for two months and became a couple officially.

And that’s when I did the most stupid thing.

We were on a trip to Rome and stood in a line to visit St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican.

I found a shortcut but she didn’t follow me.

And I left without her.

We lost sight of each other and spent the rest of the day apart.

I was way too indifferent.

I thought, if you don’t want to go with me, that’s fine, I don’t care and won’t persuade you.

But I should’ve discussed the matter with her patiently and worked out a solution together.

As a leader in a relationship, I need to do that gentle “chasing”.

Communicate instead of saying, “I’m a macho man. I am leaving.”

Another common situation is when your woman shuts down and you need to “chase” to open her up.

If you ask, “What is it?” just once and then give up, she’ll think you don't care or aren't strong enough to break through the barriers that she puts up to test you.

Recap

No, that’s not permission for you to blow up her phone.

My point is: don’t take any of the extremes—drooling over a girl and being too indifferent.

Recognize at which stage you are in a relationship, get involved emotionally, and be a patient leader.

___

TL;DR; : "Never chase a woman" is a principle that works well when you want to attract a girl. But as you get closer, it might actually be harmful.

The Holidays are among us, which means the majority of us will be spending time with family members. And it's not always easy being around family who are inappropriate or negative, so I wanted to share a few tips that you can use to deal with difficult family members and actually enjoy yourself during the holidays.

I've made a video about it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqvDoqRCdjU

Or if you prefer reading:

1.Set Expectations

If Aunt Sue always complains about ALL the drama going on in her life, guess what’s going to happen when you see her again? She’s going to complain about all the drama going on in her life. If Uncle George tends to try to guilt trip you because you haven’t visited him enough, guess what? He’s going to try and guilt trip you. So don’t be shocked if a family member does something that you always find annoying. Because chances are…they haven’t changed. So, before we leave the house to visit family, we can prepare out mindset that these things will probably happen so we won’t be as caught off guard when they do. So, once your run into Aunt Sue you can be like.. “Oh yep..that’s Aunt Sue talking about her drama again” or “Yep, Uncle George is guilt tripping me again. Shocker.”

2. Plan Around Your Triggers

What does your family do that always sets you off? Is it when your mom starts treating you like a 5 year old again the moment you step into the house? Or is it when your dad turns into a negative Nancy when you’re all trying to have a nice meal together? Knowing what triggers your emotions BEFORE spending time with family will help you to create a plan to navigate around those triggering experiences or it can help you avoid them altogether.

3. Prepare Your Responses

We’ve all gotten them. We’ve all gotten the good ole’ awkward, intrusive questions like “When are you getting married?” or “Why haven’t you lost weight?” or “When are you having kids?” So, what we can do to handle that kind of situation is to make an emergency list of subjects that you can use to change the conversation. Or you could even prepare a list of responses for questions you’re anticipating. You can try using humor in your responses, like if someone asks when you’re getting married you can say “I’m really happy right now and in no rush to get married. But feel free to send me money and a gift anyway.” or just completely change the subject “I don’t really want to talk about getting married, but I WOULD like to talk about how amazing this gravy is. Aunt Betty what ingredients did you use to make this gravy?” If someone keeps persisting, feel free to excuse yourself from the conversation.

4. Ask Questions

If someone usually asks you inappropriate questions or if you like to avoid being the center of attention, the best way to get the attention off of yourself is to ask other people questions. This not only gets the attention off of you and on to someone else, but it gives you a chance to connect with a family member and you might even learn something new about them that you may not have known before.

5. Don’t Bring Up Off Limit Topics

Politics. Gossip. Death. These are few of many topics that should be off limits, so you don’t get into any emotionally fueled arguments or conversations. Try sticking with more positive subjects such as what’s happening around you in the room, or happy childhood memories, or travel plans, or even favorite tv shows.

6. Avoid Drama

Who knows how to get under your skin more than your family? If you’ve got a family member who is trying to push your buttons, don’t take the bait. Stay cool and don’t enter into the drama. Because when you don’t engage, the drama ends. This could mean you quickly change the conversation or excuse yourself and leave the area if you have to.

7. Take Breaks

Don’t feel obligated to stay with your family the whole. entire. time. Taking a breather every now and then can help you regroup if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed. You can find another room to chill in or go for a walk. It’s ok!

8. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Your cousin who’s a bit passive aggressive, your sister who is a little controlling, your mom who is a bit critical…there’s a reason they are the way that they are. Something has happened that has caused them to act this way or they’re fighting a battle that we know nothing about. Maybe your mom lost her parents and it’s hard time of year for her. Maybe your sister is going through some tough times with her business. Maybe your cousin is having a few family problems at home. I guarantee there’s more to them than what you are seeing right in that moment. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it helps you understand why they may be acting in a certain way. Showing a bit of empathy can help us look past the rude behavior and not take it personally.

9. Look for the Good

Yeah your family may have annoying habits. Yeah there may be family members that drive you crazy. But if we go in focusing on what we dislike about each person, we’re not going to have a good time. So let’s look for the good in each person. Before you get to the family gathering, grab a pen and paper and write down something that you like about each person. Focus on that the whole time you’re there. Because when we focus on the good, it’s going to life our mood and we’re going to have more of a positive experience.

10. Know What You Can Control

You can’t control what people do. You can’t control what people say. But you CAN control how you think, what you do, and what you say. Sometimes it’s easy to assume our old roles when we step into the house, like reacting when your brother starts teasing you or getting upset when your family picks on your for being the youngest. But you don’t have to be that person anymore. You’re a grown adult and you get to choose how you respond. Show them the leveled up person you’ve become.

11. Focus on Adding Value

Instead of solely thinking of our family as obstacles to overcome, let’s focus on how we can add value into their lives. What is one small action or gesture we can do to add value into someone else’s life and make their day better? Maybe that’s really listening to the story grandma has already told 100 times when everyone else is ignoring her. Or Maybe that’s volunteering to help out with the dishes. When we focus on adding value, it helps us to shift our mindset from “What am I going to get out of this experience?” to “What can I personally do to make someone else’s life better today?” When we have this kind of mindset, we have the power to transform each and every moment. Even if you don’t receive the same kind of gesture back, you are teaching others through your actions how to respect and value other people.

12. Change Your Mindset

You’re with your family on this special occasion to have fun – not merely survive. And if our mindset is “I’m not going to enjoy this holiday” “This is going to be the worst day ever” guess what? We’re not going to enjoy the holiday and it’s going to be the worst day ever. But if we go in with the mindset of “No matter what, I’m going to enjoy this day and the people around me as much as possible” then our brain is going to go in and look for different ways on how to enjoy the day. If something doesn’t go right or someone says something that strikes a nerve, remind yourself of that mindset and continue to constantly look for the positives. Don’t let a bad 5 minutes cause you to have a bad day.

Sometimes we can stay stuck in negative emotions for a while or we can completely "lose it" in the heat of the moment. So, I wanted to share a few tips that I find helpful to work through the emotions whenever I'm dealing with them.

If you prefer videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch2MP7kUkf4&t=101s

If you prefer reading:

1. Accept the Emotion

We usually see a negative emotion as a bad thing or a weakness. But the emotion itself is a natural part of being human. All it is is a signal from our body that something isn’t quite right and that we need to take action and work through it.

Because if we don’t, then the negative emotion can completely take over and ruin our day.

So, we’ve got to accept it, because when we can accept our emotion, then we’re in a position to take action and work through it. And part of accepting our emotion means we acknowledge that it’s there and we don’t judge ourselves for it.

2. Make a Choice

Feeling frustrated is normal, but snapping at someone else..that’s a choice. Feeling afraid is normal, but not doing something that you want to do is a choice. Feeling guilty is normal, but constantly thinking you’re a bad person is a choice.

So, regardless of how we feel, we get to choose how we control our thoughts and actions. We can’t control negative situations or what someone says or does to us. But.. we can be in charge of how we think… and what we do.

So, we can choose to attach to every negative thought that we have and let the negative emotion completely consume us. Or we can choose to problem solve through our feelings which leads us to the third tip and that is to

3. Create an Action Plan

Before a negative emotion hits me, I like to be on the offense instead of defense. I want to be ready for when it happens, so I can problem solve through it immediately instead of letting my emotions control me.

So we have to remember that we usually have negative emotions that either rise up in the heat of the moment(like when your kids are arguing and you get instantly frustrated) or the emotions have been lingering for a while (like constantly feeling worthless at your job)

So creating an action plan can help you identify a few strategies to use BEFORE you find yourself in an emotional state. Before you start snapping at someone because you’re angry. Before you start guilt tripping yourself about the past again. Before you talk yourself out of a job opportunity.

Here are 8 examples you can use:

1. Identify possible triggers. What is it that usually triggers your emotion? Is it when people aren’t listening to you? Is it after you watch a movie? Is it when you hang out with certain friends? Identifying what sets you off helps you navigate around triggering experiences or it helps you to prevent them altogether.

2. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If someone makes you upset, instead of taking it as a personal attack, ask “What’s happened to this person to make them act that way?” This helps you sympathize with the other person instead of getting instantly emotional. Like someone cutting you off in traffic. Maybe they’re rushing to a family emergency or they have a passenger who is yelling at them or they’re late for a major interview because they had a flat tire earlier.

3. Breathe. Take a breath and say to yourself “I’m not going to let this emotion get the best of me.” This is going to wake up the decision making part of your brain, so that you can start to gain control.

4. Start counting. Think nothing but the numbers. Make a goal to count to 10. If you have a lot of emotion try counting to 100 instead. You’ll notice as you continue to count, your heart rate will start to slow down a bit, and it gives you time to gather your thoughts before taking action.

5. Communicate. If someone has upset you, setting a time to communicate with them is one of the best ways to resolve any kind of issues that are causing your negative emotions.

6. Call friends and family. When you have a support group around you, it helps you to feel less alone when you’re feeling emotional.

7. Eat Healthy foods and Exercise. This is one we hear all the time. Numerous studies show eating right and exercising elevates your mood and reduces stress.

8. Retrain your brain to think positive thoughts, so you’re not attaching to every negative thought that comes your way.

Now all of these strategies aren’t going to fit into every kind of scenario. Some are going to be more effective than others in different kinds of situations. You have to find what works best for you. If you have more to add that have worked well for you, definitely share those in the comments below. The more strategies we can collect, the better.

Hi Everyone! Just wanted to share a few tips that I find helpful in overcoming imposter syndrome.

And if you've never heard of imposter syndrome, it's essentially when we constantly doubt our accomplishments and we feel that at any moment people are going to call us out as a fraud, despite all the evidence of our achievements.

So, for example someone who recently got a promotion at work, may feel they don’t deserve the promotion and believe that everyone’s going to find out that they aren’t good enough for the position.

Or

A student may question if they are smart enough to pass an exam, even though they spent hours studying and normally make pretty good grades.

So, imposter syndrome is very very common. It can strike anywhere to anyone at anytime, and if you do have imposter syndrome, you are not alone!

Here's 7 tips to help overcome imposter syndrome:

I've made a video all about it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ga0JMKJOZA

Or if you prefer reading:

1. Create a Fact Folder

And a fact folder is a place where you can store evidence of all of your achievements, so if you have an imposter strike you can refer back to the folder to keep your mind focused on the facts. Because it’s kinda hard to argue the facts, right? So, this could be

• Statements about the trials, the hardships, or hard work that have led to where you are today.

• Compliments that people have given you, whether it’s been in person or through messages.

• Positive reviews if you own an online business.

• Awards given or pictures of trophies.

Whatever has been an achievement or success put it straight into the folder! And next to each piece of evidence, write HOW you were able to achieve that. When we define our “how,” it helps us identify the steps we took to achieve our success and it leaves less room for our imposter syndrome to discredit our accomplishments. So, instead of just writing down “I was offered a promotion.” Write “I was offered a promotion, because I exceeded my targets over and over again, and I was doing tasks that were beyond what I initially agreed to do in my signed contract.”

2. Write Down Your Success Goals

So, when we complete a project or task that was successful, our imposter syndrome sometimes kicks in and we think “Yeah, that was ok, BUT I should have done better.” So, when we understand and define what success looks like to us BEFORE going into a project or task, then it helps to prevent our minds from thinking we should have done better.

3. Set Realistic Goals

Setting goals is completely normal. But when we set unrealistic goals, then it’s likely for us to completely avoid whatever it is we want to do, because we become overwhelmed before we even start. And if we attempt the unrealistic goal, then we’re more likely to fail…because again, it’s unrealistic. Right? And that can lead to imposter feelings. So, whenever we’ve got a massive goal we want to achieve, it’s a good idea to take that BIG HUGE goal that’s causing us intense pressure, and break it down into small, achievable steps that can be measured. For example, if you want to lose 20 lbs, don’t give yourself the goal of losing 20 lbs in two weeks. A more realistic and achievable goal would be to lose a pound a week for 20 weeks.

4. Own your Accomplishments

A lot of times we can discredit ourselves with our achievements. We say “It was no big deal” or “I got very lucky” or we completely give the credit to someone else when we had a MAJOR part in everything. So, it’s important we be aware of the language we use with others and state the facts, because it reinforces our hard work. So, for example, if someone compliments us on something that took us a lot of time to do, let’s simply say “Thank You. I put a lot of work into this” instead of “Oh it was nothing.”

5. Have an Action Plan for Mistakes

It’s easy for us to feel like a total imposter once we make a mistake. But mistakes are normal. Everyone makes them.. Every person you think is extremely successful. Yep, they’ve made TONS of mistakes. No one is immune. And when we make that one mistake, what does our brain do? Oh..it looks at all the accomplishments and achievements we’ve had and completely disregards that one mistake. NOPE. It focuses on that one mistake, despite all of our past success. BUT, when we understand mistakes are normal and part of our learning and development, then we’re able to create an action plan for when they happen instead of dwelling on that one error. So, an example of an action plan could be: Make a list that has an equal amount of positives and negatives that happened during the event and write down any improvements that you want to make.

6. Know Your Imposter Moments

When do you tend to feel like an imposter? Is there a certain time of the day when it strikes? Does it happen when you’re at work, when you’re by yourself at home or when you’re out around other people? It’s important to be aware of when you experience imposter syndrome, so that you’re able to prepare yourself. For example, if you usually have imposter syndrome in the middle of a work meeting, you can prepare your mindset before going into your next work meeting by doing one of the tips above like looking at the achievements in your fact folder.

7. Feel the Feeling and Take Action Anyway

A lot of times we feel pretty nervous or doubtful before diving into a big project or stepping into a new role. But it’s important to remember that these feelings are normal. We all have those feelings, especially when it’s something we haven’t done before. So when we have a good opportunity in front of us that’d we like to pursue and we feel like we’re not good enough or feel like we’re not ready, we should take action anyway. Because there’s a reason this opportunity has appeared in your life. It didn’t come out of the blue. There’s a reason a new role was offered to you or you’re about to take on a big project. Think about what you had to do in order to get this opportunity. When we take action even if we feel a bit nervous, that means amazing things are about to happen, because we’re going to be outside of our comfort zone, which will push us to the next level, which is where all the magic happens. And if we never try, we may always end up regretting it.

Hi Everyone!

Just wanted to share a couple of things that helped me TREMENDOUSLY in starting my day off right. For many years I woke up in a bad mood dreading the day ahead, but now I wake up relaxed and focused. The two things I do are simple, yet extremely effective. Hope this post helps others who also have a hard time starting the day off on the right foot!

I've made a video if you'd like to learn more on how I start the day off right: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNPf-7UlJ0w

If you prefer reading:

80% of us are doing something first thing in the morning that is RUINING the rest of the day. Can you guess what it is?

We check our phones first thing in the morning! And though it may seem harmless, I’ll tell you why I’ve decided to LOSE THE PHONE in the morning.

So, when we first wake up most of us, roll over, and before even getting out of bed we reach towards the night stand grab our phone—and we check what’s happening on social media. When we do this,

We run the risk the of becoming frustrated, annoyed, angry, or stressed because our newsfeed MAY be:

• Filled with pictures of everyone’s perfect little lives and our brain could start subconsciously comparing ourselves against them. OR

• We’ve got sponsored ads trying to sell us something. OR

• We can news that is completely negative and it gets you riled up.

And Then we could start reading emails and messages from people who are wanting us to do different things for them.

And our mind starts the day off in complete chaos. It’s in reactive mode, right? Before even getting out of bed, we can start the day off in a negative mindset. You wouldn’t happily let 70 people walk into your bedroom when you first wake up, right? So why are we letting them into our lives first thing in the morning on our phone?

We give our energy and attention all day long to other people, so the least we can do is not give away our energy first thing in the morning.

And I was guilty this for such a long time..but Now, what I like to do instead, is start the day by being proactive, so that I’m in control. Instead of starting the day being reactive and letting all of these things consume me.

So, before touching the phone, I spend at least 15-30 minutes working on what I want to do, whether that’s writing, reading, going for a walk, listening to music, …whatever it is.

Since, I’ve adopted this new habit, I noticed that I’m not as distracted during the day. I’m a lot more calm. I start the day off being productive which carries on to the afternoon. And for once, I’m excited to start the morning, instead of dreading it, because I’m working on what I want to do which ends up boosting my mood and energy for the day.

Losing the phone first thing in the morning has been a game changer in my life! And I highly highly recommend it if your life feels a bit stressful and chaotic right now.

The second self love habit that has changed my life in the morning is when I decided to STOP HITTING SNOOZE.

So when your alarm goes off and you hit the snooze and you start dozing off again scientific research shows that you trick your body into thinking its going back into a deep sleep. So, when you wake up again after only snoozing for 5, 10, 15 minutes, your brain and body are confused…which leads to that groggy feeling you get that lasts for the rest of the day. Have you ever had that? It’s called sleep inertia. And it is a BIG energy drainer.

And when you’re used to pressing snooze every single day when the alarm goes off, then you’re body starts to form a habit…so we can hit that snooze without even thinking twice about it.

Again..this was another bad habit of mine.

So, what I’ve done to help break the habit is I’ve changed the alarm sound, because the alarm sound acted as a trigger for me to roll over and turn the snooze on.

So, when I picked a new alarm sound, then that formed a new trigger, so that I could create a new habit to wake up more positive.

And the amazing new habit that I’ve implemented is naming 3 things that I’m grateful for.

So, now when I hear my new alarm sound, that is my new trigger to turn OFF the alarm and instantly name 3 reasons for why I’m grateful. This starts my day off right BECAUSE when I think of why I’m grateful, it puts me into a positive mindset, my mood is instantly lifted, and I’m more in a state of abundance rather than feeling like I’m lacking something.

If you want to take this tip to the next level, then you could put your phone somewhere where you cant reach it…like across the room or completely outside of the room. This forces you to get up to turn off the alarm, and it breaks that bad habit of reaching over for the phone without thinking.

There’s also around 30% of people who check their phone throughout the night, so having that thing away from you will help you not only wake up better but also sleep better.

I am a very organized person. I map everything out and factor in details to make a routine or schedule work, but, even though I know I have the time, I frequently flake out. Whether it's moments of apathy, exhaustion from a hard day, thinking "it's okay to not be a drill sergeant about it and skip a day here and there" and then doing that repeatedly until I'm not working on the habit anymore, or, getting discouraged by not seeing the results I want, I tend to drop out from really sticking to the habits I want to build, and, I know it causes me to miss out on the life I want for myself.

Go ahead. Let me have it.

Check out this video to maybe help you guys with your own goalsetting https://youtu.be/A4L8OHhLzAw

Going through a break up. We've been trading the apartment one week on one week off, to see our cats....

The apartment is miserable and neither of us has had the energy to clean.

It's a day off for me and I need to get off my ass and make my place less depressing.

I used to believe that discipline was a personality trait. I thought our ability to be disciplined was directly related to the amount of self-discipline we were each born with.

​

I recently decided to stop drinking alcohol for 3 month. It was a challenge and it made me realize that self-discipline is not a trait, but a muscle. You can train it.

​

I wrote about my experience on my blog: https://www.porquenovida.com/discipline-is-a-muscle/

I had a rough day on my day-off (first one since at least 2 months ago). Basically, I haven't felt so miserable for a very long time. I felt anxiety to the point of physical symptoms appearing. I was also quite cynical and moody.

So, I had some junk food and watched funny videos, neither of which helped.

Then I read some old break-up messages of mine on Facebook and now I'm suddenly full of energy, optimistic and in the present. The messages themselves seem to have instantly cut through the bullshit and for some reason they cleared the mental fog I had had.

​

Has anyone had anything similar? How does this work? Does this always work? Are there better ways to motivate myself?

I stood in the mirror at work today and didn't recognize myself. Im 70lbs overweight, I have no degree, wasted my GI bill on nothing. Working at a shitty office job that i hate and have been autonomously living my life for the past 6 years. Im married, i have 2 kids with a third on the way. Living with our inlaws because im in to much debt. And its all my fucking fault. Ive been my own hindrance to my life and my families. How the fuck do i get out of this huh? I want to play an instrument, lose weight, change my career. I have this warm feeling welling up inside me and i cant explain if its anger or sadness or both but i dont want to ever look in the mirror again and not recognize who the fuck i am. I accept all of this bullshit as my fault and noone elses. Let me have it Reddit, im mad at myself too.

"Avoid easy. Embrace the difficult. Look it in the eye. Ring the bell, step into the ring and go toe-to-toe with it. Make it a common enemy that you spar with on a consistent basis.

Because the result of consistently embracing difficult is simple. Progress."

This is from an blog post I recently wrote: https://www.porquenovida.com/the-importance-of-difficult/

What do you guys think about this topic?

I feel like maybe if I used Linux I'd spend more time using my computer for useful creative stuff like drawing or writing, instead of playing games. Has anyone done something similar before? How'd it go?

We often look for excuses instead of taking on a new challenge. So often I hear people say: Why do others have more money, more success, more friends?

Actually it's all up to you. You have to overcome your fears and stop creating excuses for why you can't do certain things. I wrote a blog post about this recently and I would like to hear your thoughts and own experiences: https://www.porquenovida.com/why-not-you/

WHY ONLY 1% OF PEOPLE WIN

📷

A guaranteed way to FAIL! I just realised I was doing this.

MAKE SURE that you're not just kind of pondering along, not applying yourselves, taking things how they come, applying AVERAGE LEVELS OF EFFORT to it, because if you do do that, then you're just going to get AVERAGE RESULTS.

Every day I look for ways to improve, I get up early, I read (lots) and only watch things and listen to things that I feel are productive. I.e no junk on the radio or BS on the television, YouTube or Facebook. So I was so pissed when on this week of my weekly vlog #weeklybusinesstalk I noticed I was lying to myself.

I convinced myself that I was applying the same hard work to creating video content (in particular my sales tips) that I do in other parts of my business. BUT IT WAS A LIE! To myself. I was playing it safe, just doing enough and applying average levels of work ethic and then I was getting average quality for work!

How many others do the same? So we focused this week's vlog on it to hopefully like I did to myself and wake other people up to the lie we can at times tell ourselves “I’m doing everything I can.” Never do we operate at full capacity, there is always more in the tank and we should always have an attitude of ‘Always Get Better’.

So I hope you enjoy, I look forward to your feedback and it would be interesting to hear if anyone else has had this realisation that no matter how much you have achieved so far that we can always do better!

Check this link to the video if you'd like to be involved in the community I am working on between business people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcv-i3fp6ew

I'm a chronic procrastinator. In fact, I often refer to myself as a "procrastimaster". It's extremely rare for me to do anything early. What's that? Finish it before the due date so I can feel good about myself? Ha, as if!

I also have 400+ art project ideas waiting to be completed--seriously. And I'm bad/slow at drawing, so even though I try to set goals to complete one project a week, they never, ever get done that fast. I'm probably going to die with a thousand projects left incomplete.

On top of all of that, I'm very unhealthy. I eat a full serving of vegetables a few times a week, if that. I try to justify it by the fact that I'm not overweight, even though I know for a fact that all my weight is fat and no muscle because I haven't stuck to a serious exercise routine since middle school gym class. Pathetic, I know.

I wish I could force myself to change, to overall be better, but it seems like every time I try, it never lasts. Tried going to the gym--that lasted almost a month, then it dropped off. Going through art projects fast? I got 2 1/2 done, now I'm behind again. Keeping on top of my homework/studying? I'm halfway through the semester and I already have a C in one of my classes. I suck.

In short, I have no motivation at all, so please yell at me and tell me how I need to get my shit together and stop being a useless slug.

Don't look overweight but I can tell I'm extremely out of shape. I don't want to put on more pounds. I just got a membership today after an hour of procrastination. As for the socializing, I've been holing myself up at home when I'm not working. It's led me to becoming depressed and thinking no one wants to be around me. I'm hoping to find friends to work out with and am also going to start going to a bigger church with more people I can interact with. I just want to be life positive with friends and in healthy shape. I procrastinate or try to talk myself out of things so someone to kick me in the ass and get going would help immensely.

I really messed up the past two weeks. I was home, off shift, with two weeks I should have gotten all my projects done but no, instead watched anime and stupid shows. This is the same pattern of behaviour that caused me to mess up my undergrad programme and here I and doing the same to the postgrad I just managed to get into. I go back offshore to work on the rig again today for 2 weeks. I will have probably no time to study or to work on these projects and if that project becomes due in the next two weeks or less I will be completely screwed. I don't know why I do this to myself, I should be my own best friend. I feel like crawling into my bed, sleep and cry. I don't know what to do.

https://kulturehub.com/advice-will-smith-best-life/

This is the kick in the butt that I initially needed to get off my ass and start making things happen. Now the hype from the article is wearing off and I'm looking for that next push. All advice is welcome!