Hey, so this deals with trauma but I’ll leave most out. So, as background, I had 4 parents growing up, I lived with my bio mom and stepdad. 3/4 parents were abusive in some way. My bio dad is not here anymore on his decision. I left the household a few months after his choice. That was 3 years ago. The issue is no matter what I do, I repeat the way that my parents would argue with me. I am currently going to therapy and all my therapist does is talk about it with me. I can’t argue with my partner in a healthy way. When I get upset, my mind switches before I know and I’ve already jumped to the most extreme option. I know this is harmful. I tried looking it up, I get answers that tell me to love myself and cut off my parents. I have 2 twin baby sisters at my mom’s so I can’t cut contact. And loving myself is easier said than done, cause I don’t know how. I can barely stomach my reflection as all I see are the two worst people in my life. But I can’t continue what my parents started, I just don’t know how. The switch flips as quickly as blinking. I’m stuck spiralling afterwords feeling even worse. The best way to describe how I feel is like the intangible ball of Christmas lights that has 10 different strands.

last year November 24 last night. she broke up with me. i begged and begged but there was no reasoning with her. the reason as to why she broke me is all my fault, i was too clingy, too obsessive, relying too much on her help, and being lustfull to her, she gave the relationship multiple chances, SHE gave ME multiple chances to change, second chance. i failed and she broke me on the spot. she said she fell in love with a cracked heart, i managed to fully break it. it was aLL MY FAULT tbh, but after the break up, i really am trying to change. we agreed on being friends, we chatted like normal but after 2 days she was distant and ignoring, she told all her friends, maybe her freinds influenced her mind or smth. i was grouped with her along with her freinds, they were mean to me, mistreated me, and left me out, theres this thing called "practical research" and thats the grouping thing, yes i said before i was grouped with them, one of there freinds even threthened me, it was absolute hell, they even talked about me during my back, Forwarded i heared i was selfish smth like that. during the practical research i was left out of everything, with the stress, pressure from her freinds and the break up i couldn't say anything during our defense, they blamed me. and at that time i didn't even eat 3 days. after the research thing, i didn't even want to attend school, because im scared of her and her freinds, but i forced myself to. was ignored and was met with hatefull glances, i received everyday. i had no one to tell my problems i was all alone, while she has freinds by her side, well i was not all alone i had my freinds on my own too but different sections, and a bf and gf, were my friend in that class. also she and i didn't talk until the breask-up.

UNTIL the end of the parade (last day of the first week of December) she unexpectedly chatted me, i was so happy but the next day it was back to normal again. fast forward, i was making a letter of the things i did and that i was sorry, and gave her a plushie. well i did gave it to her, indirectly. she agreed on being freinds, we chatted and played that day but after this past few days she gave me late replies, left on read, ghosting, ignoring. ik she was travelling but her travelling ended ow, like please talk to me che chatted this past few days but only for 1 day she decided t chat she chatted for 1 day after christmas after that same old ghsoting/ignoring

im gonna try and text and process everything. if you want i can give the letter i gave her on christmas and the letter i gave on new years after all that i said to her "Are we really friends-?" she said mutuals lol. like i did everything for her to say mutuals to me. my time, effort, hardwork. to be friends after that i said "imma build it up" i heared from a friend that her friends were gossiping about me. just hating me. and telling me stories of what happened to me and my ex.

I'll be humiliated and embarrassed, and a lot of people who have my ex's side to support her, and I'm scared of that. I know I'm a guy, I'm supposed to be a man, but I'm not, I'm just a boy who did wrong and is getting punished....I'm just so scared..and nervous about what's gonna happen. I know what's gonna happen, I will suffer like I did last year but worse Forwarded well, i was trying to enroll on a different strand but they said it wont wokr cuz the subject of stem didnt gas doesnt match. i tried ishs (national high school, but it was already too late. and i have no choice but to stay in that class again. to top in all that my friend said they were throwing so much insults at me, and telling me stroies to him what had happened between me and my ex, my friend said if i didnt did what i've done i would'nt have the problems i have today. if i stay in that class i think they will still gossip, backstab, toxic to me. which im scared to think about, i cant even sleep cuz im thinking about it. and yeah i was soo stressed at that time y'know the stransferring thing

i have to go back on that class with my ex and her friends, that will backstab me, gossip me, toxic to me. make my life a living hell and it was all my fault, i lusted her. i prayed to god that he would forgive me on my sins and my wrong doings, bless me, and make his miracles do his work.. my major problem is the groupings, im in the bsame group as them, but i want to go on a different group, but there is no different group. ill be humilated, and im scared, im tarumarized from the last time, next year. im so scared and nervous idk what to do idk what to say anymore, theres a lot more that bad happens to me related but this is a major problem i have right now but right now, sometimes i moved on and i dont care about her anymore and sometimes, i just complety miss her. its just im distracted by the whole school thing, and my thoughts if i just stay consistent and chat to her once in a while i can maybe build up to being friends again. but i cant do that, so i will try and move on and heal and be better, and maybe in the future i can make a move and chat her, or talk to her. but her friends are there to influence her mind do idk. considering we're in the same class its all awkward. and sometimes im even scared to go in. all i know is im gonna give her the "Sonic X generations" game on her birthday saying that i've moved on and im better, wanting to reconnect, wanting forgivness blah blah blah like that.

NOW NEXT WEEK (CURRENT WEEK) - Jan 23 well the group of friends that were mean to me suddenly idk some are kind of friendly to me now. i believed god answered my prayers on this one. but i know they are just being friendly beacause of the grades. were not friends but classmates. i know they still hate me because of my past tho. She unfriended me on TikTok, idk if she didn't wanna just see my repost or idk. It gave me a heart attack .

This is what they said to me in the group chat: ("Serves you right, you were just wandering around, going somewhere else when it's research time.

If there are personal problems between us and you, which is understandable but if it's school/acads were talking about then it doesn't have to be like that.

Just saying.

And you said "They were gossiping about me" No, we aren't gossiping about you anymore. like hello? We moved on from that problem, we don't have have that anymore. We're all goods now." Oops I said too much now.")

If only I just acted normal and moved on. But yk what hurts? Everyone gets to see how much of a weak man I am, everyone on the chat saw this and maybe they thought I didn't move on from her yet while she moved on. Ik I'm Gon get humiliated and ashamed like I am rn damn... but in all honesty, im kind of glad. i got the closure that i dint want but needed. but rn im confused whether to just be normal and dont care about them and only my academics? like how should one act when i get to see them again like walking in a hallway or in class. or in a group meeting.

another thing that hurts is one who still has unresolved feelings. like my ex got a crush, i couldnt beelieve it. hurts? a little. probs in school they think im some dumb guy idk.

i feel uneasy of what they think of me.

JAN 17 ik she got a crush and all which makes me debasted fr. but i just cant be that type of guy to just want her and not think of what she wants. i had her once temporary, and some other guy will have her permanently, i was only a chapter in her life, in short i was a page in her book. I'm happy for her really she already found a love interest, but the thing is "her heart is so easy to fall." like, did the heart i broke into a million pieces just got back together after you found someone else/crush? or you fell in love while still having heart thats broken into a million pieces, like you were to me. What I'm really concerned about is, whether you'll ever love again because of me. because of the men that went into ur life. But mostly me. i don't know if the "crush thing was true or not but please cherish your heart. and sometimes i got to let go, some important people come into ur life and they leave, and i have to accept that, ik it hurts but its life.

But in the present time, You still act so coldy or you hate me. Ik she doesn't care about me anymore but I'm still guilty for the stuff i did for 11 months to her, but i really do wanna make amends for the stuff i did, but i don't know how. like bro, you dont even know how messed up the shit I've done. That's keeping me and her from talking in school being friends again, because of the stuff i did. I'm gonna like think of a way to make amends...

WEDNESDAY-JAN 29. 2025 yesterday, morning. my teacher played us a game, where go to the left if you think your handsome, go to the right if you think your pretty, like that but this time, teacher said "Go to the left if you are in a relationship, and to the right if your single". but in this instance, she. went to the left, sir asked them, she was in a relationship in 2 months already. i was honestly shocked, now my dumbass friend kept pointing at her while looking at me, made it look like i didn't moved on yet bruh, but for real though, 2 months?? so like she had someone in December after we just broke. i kept my composure. But after class was dismissed, I... didn't know what to think of the situation. Like 2 months??? How can one person moved on so easily and and find another, like i don't get it. did the breqak up not effect her??. but i was debasted, her having someone else like i cant bro. heart was pumping i couldn't think straight. i was just, idk. I begged my girl(friends) to help me find someone else too, and they said its not a competitions, moved on first, blah blah blah. Like fuck. she has someone else while I'm still healing. (That's all what i can say right now.) oh yeah, on monday i accidentally logged in her acc, so yeah, that made things much worse shes talking to him through discord or insta idk.... y'know the memories i had with her, now she got someone else. is kinda depressing.

My friend: Uhhhhh idk ignore? Like its not really your problem anymore innit

Me:I know that but this really affects me mentally, while my dumbass still hasn't moved on, and is still healing she found someone else so easily bruh.

To think that the shit I've done didn't affect her in finding new love again, I'm glad that she's happy and all but what about me am I just supposed to suffer like bruh, ik that, she's traumatized, she still is though. But right now I'm just in denial. To think her new bf will be better in me in every possible way, doing the stuff that we didn't. (Take a moment to imagine my perspective and what I'm feeling rn)

And I still wanna make amends. Ahh shit my head hurts from all this shit.

I know she got a boyfriend and all that and I've moved on(I think) but the thing is in their eyes I still haven't moved on, in their eyes I'm still that asshole who did bad shit. Y'know I always leave the classroom and all, everyday every time, and leave my bag in the class? They probably think it's because of them or her that I always leave. Rn I wanna make it look like I'm a good person in their eyes, want to make amends for the hell I did. But idk how.

Like ik it's not about NOT caring, but them knowing about my past, knowing what I did. Knowing what I did to her. It's just.. It's hard to just act and pretend to not care, especially when she has a boyfriend now, and I'm single. It's all awkward. Oh yeah on tuesday, they talked about me and her (why she broke up with me blah blah blah, what's the reason, sir: is it because yle is too nice? Her bff: pfft the opposite. Some said that I was jealous.)

I am 20F and I think I’ve been depressed for a long time. I was so used to just roboting my way through life that I have zero plans for what I want for myself. I don’t have much going for me currently, I did horrifically in highschool and dropped out of college because I didn’t feel like the fine arts degree I was going for would be that helpful for me.

I have no clue what I really want from life. I’d like to do art and write books, maybe keep going with this martial arts thing I’ve been getting into. And being married someday might be nice. My bf is a cool guy, I hope he sticks with me. Kids? Sure, I wouldn’t be like super opposed. And traveling to cool places occasionally might be fun. That’s really all I have though. No big life plan, nothing I’m sure of for a career. Life plans have always kinda freaked me out tbh, the idea of having everything all set out for you feels bizarre.

Now I’m at a bit of an impasse. I’m still living with my parents and, since I’m not in college, I have five months to find a full time job so I can pay rent to them. I’m afraid of what sacrifices I’m going to have to make in order to do it. Am I gonna have to choose between my art and books and martial arts training? My motivation has been getting less and less since I was in highschool, and it’s been absolutely shot since I dropped out, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do all three and work without getting burnt out, so I’ll have to put aside one or more of my hobbies.

I know this is all part of life and growing up but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. It’s honestly scary and it sucks. I’ve been so lost. What on earth do I do? How can I plan for my life and set myself up for success? Instead of just going through the motions like I did in highschool.

I M(20) and she F(19) have been dating for around a month. She has a lot of past traumas like her which made her tell me not to tell our close friend group about us. The problem is I already told one of them before i knew that it would affect this deeply. Yesterday, we connected on a different level which made me realise that I can’t keep any lies from her no matter how they are. When I told her my lie, she started being all cold and distant. She always told me that she’s a cold hearted person. She arrived at the conclusion that she loves me yet but she’ll turn completely cold in the future. I love her and I don’t want to be another lesson for her but I also want to see her happy. I managed to convince her not to break up with me. I honestly don’t know what to do now.

Hey there 26M here, I got asked by a girl-friend 27F if I wanted to go on a last minute trip to California. I agreed as I figured it would be plenty fun and it would be a distraction given the current state of things.

We got to planning. Here were I feel like I messed up being time. I delayed getting my flight book as I was waiting on approval for work, by the time i got the green light the flights price for jacked up by 3 times. Thats fine that's no fault of her own. Here's where things take a turn. She asked if I could look into booking a hotel for us to stay since she was busy with work and didn't have time search. I agreed and went ahead and booked us a hotel. she agreed to pay her half of the hotel and id pay mine. Keep in mind she asked me to tag along. She is now also asking to figure out plans like what places we should visit, attractions and pricing that sort of stuff. The flight is tomorrow and although she promised she'd go half on everything she hadn't send me the money for the hotel.

I wanna believe she's a decent person and isn't just using to find her trip completely minus her flight which she covered. But I feel like she might be doing just that, I'm feeling robbed. Have a feeling she's gonna want me to pay for food and anything we end up doing. I've haulted on figuring out an itinerary until she sends the money. Don't want to seem rude or a cheapsake but had that been the plan the whole time (me paying for everything) and had I been the one to invite her that would have been different. What do I do?

Hii, so i have this friend we known each other for about 5 years and never really had problems, i consider her a lot even tough i changed cities last year so we are 8 hours apart, i always go back to my city and seen her 3 months ago (for context). Our birthdate is one day after the other (02/04 and 02/05) and normally we celebrate together (last year i could not make it cause i just moved in and had lots of things to do for the new house) so this year i said to her i was going to our city to celebrate with her, everything went fine i planned everything and was supposed to go 02/03 but 2 days ago she sent a message saying everything is going bad and that she wished to disappear of course i was preoccupied and sent a message asking whats hapenned and how she was but she read and didnt reply. i waited 30 mins and asked again and she read and didnt reply again so i became more preoccupied, i waited some hours but as she still didnt reply i decided to call her boyfriend (as she already have depression and i was really worried) he said she was fine and thanked me for worrying but then she sent a message saying i made it all worse i again said for her to talk with me and asked how could i help, she again didnt reply then yesterday morning i sent another message asking if she was better, again read and didnt reply, i called her another times in the day same result.

Then i seen in her stories she was in a party with some friends i became really upset cause she could have replied me and i was all worried and apparently everything was fine, i didnt call her anymore after that and today by night she sent me some generic text like "i was very busy now its calmer, sorry for didnt answer. Last night i even got to a party to see if it would help and it made it worse but now its solved" I feel like she just didnt answer me cause she had other people consoling her but i dont know, i should feel bad by that or forgets and act like nothing happened? It makes me think if i should go celebrate with her cause i will pick 8 hours on a bus to go see someone that cant even send me a simple text like i am better, what do you guys think?

So I just recently broke up with my girlfriend and have become increasingly better friends with her best friend, I think that her friend has really pretty eyes and I am just hardcore crushing on her with no idea on what to do and she isn’t ready for a relationship at the moment and I know that because she stopped talking to this one dude because of it but I can’t help but want her more and more every day, what should I do?

So, I want to preface this by saying that I (21F) only have one person in my life right now that I can regularly talk to, which is my boyfriend (23M). I've been trying to build new and make new connections but I haven't actually managed to make a new friend in what's been 7 full years now, I believe. So, it's rough. But, what I need advice on is this: My boyfriend is exhibiting a lot of red flags. And I need to know whether or not it's worth enduring a potentially toxic relationship in comparison to complete isolation, which, in my experience, can easily become genuinely horrific. Maybe even worse. Some of his good qualities are: he's compassionate, he's caring, he's quirky, he's passionate, and he's enthusiastic. Some of his bad qualities are: he lies 24/7, he's very jealous and stalks my social media pages and questions me about things like basic compliments sent to other people, basically requires me to say goodnight every night regardless of whatever else is going on, if I break a pattern even once, he freaks the flip out, he has trust issues and will also freak out if I don't respond within an hour or so like I usually do, he's very insecure to the point of genuine arrogance, and he doesn't know how to hold a conversation which leads to me listening to him rant 24/7 and not getting to say anything at all myself. Talking to him is like trying to talk to a brick wall, but a brick wall that can only occasionally respond with attempts to one-up you or make themselves seem better than you. Yeah. So, it sounds bad, but it hasn't been too harmful so far, at least. And even if it does become really harmful, I don't really know if it'll be anywhere near as bad as complete isolation. So, do I take the gamble with isolation and hope that I can make a new friend for the first time in 7 years? Or do I bear through a relationship that could potentially become also very harmful to my well-being?

My Husband and I have a very private life. The last five months or so there has been some family fighting. I am very close with my parents but will admit that they sometimes share information that is not theirs to share. That upsets my husband and myself. My parents and I had a fight a out that exact issue yesterday. We are due to go away next week and he had just told me that he no longer wants to go , only if it's the two of us. What do I do , do I tell my parents not to come , do I go alone with my husband or do I cancel this whole thing. I don't know what to do.....

I had a quarrel with my husband yesterday. I don’t have friends in the city—his friends are my good friends. We are all pretty close. In his group, most of them are boys, and only the two of us (girls) are there. They are all his batchmates.

We always roast each other on a high level, and sometimes things get intense. I recently got married to my boyfriend, and his friends came over for a house party while my husband is out of the city for 10 days. They asked me to show our wedding pictures. A few of them were weird, and they started making fun of them. I didn’t mind because we always roast each other, and it's a two-way thing.

They took one video of my husband and posted it in our common group. There was nothing bad in the video—it was just funny. But my husband got pissed off and started blaming me, saying, “You could have shown your own pictures, why did you have to show all the videos? You don’t have a brain.” Then he started fighting with me.

I felt bad, and somehow, I convinced my friend to delete the video. I got mad because what was my fault? I tried to explain my husband but he was blaming me

For the past four days, I haven’t been able to sleep properly because I can’t sleep alone. I am alone in the house. I lost my father during COVID, and I don’t know why, but whenever something happens, my mind gets diverted to my dad’s loss and grief, making me feel even sadder.

I don’t have my own friends in the city. I don’t have anyone to share my feelings with. I feel like crying all day. I miss my dad, and I have this guilt that I couldn’t save him

as the title says, I’m lost. I turn 19 next month, and I’m miserable. I’ve had severe depression and anxiety for the past four years of my life, and every year it literally gets worst. First it started off with crying and panic attacks now I’m just numb and miserable, that’s the best way to describe it. I don’t enjoy anything, and even when I feel, it’s not full or real. If I laugh it’s like as if you put a thin layer of frosting on a cake and that’s what I feel, and the cake is the emptiness that should be the main part of the emotion. I feel like a failure and disappointment to my parents cause I mean I am..I had to switch from uni to community college because I can’t even pass my easy classes and I don’t want to waste more money on school if I don’t know what I want to do. Before I had my whole life planned out now I just don’t know. I have no passions for anything, I didn’t even think I’d live past 18 but here I am. I should be glad that I’m healthy and fine and have a great privileged life where I’m always spoiled but I’m just full of negativity and misery. I don’t know what else to do. I take meds etc all that but this is more so of just like where do I go from here?

I don’t know what to do for school anymore, and I want to do something that would actually make my parents proud and give me a comfortable life. I can’t do anything engineering related although my moms one because I hate math, medical was what I was going with but it’s too much school, so now idk? Idk I guess I’m just asking for advice on where the hell to go because the more I go on, the closer I am to just ending it. Like I really don’t see a purpose for a future for me. I try but even when I do it’s so pathetic and I just feel like such a burden on everyone around me. I don’t even know what I want anymore, if I could choose, it would be to just die or sleep forever and never wake up. I mean what do I do? What is there to do for someone so useless as me, I struggle in everything, I’m miserable, I’m negative, I just want to be alone. Like I don’t see anything good. Idk I’m so lost.

I genuinely am at a loss for words when it comes to him right now. When I met him, he worked 3 jobs. Restaurant, fedex, and construction jobs with his dad. Now, he has not been able to stay at a job longer than a month. He has had at least 5 different jobs since September. A lot of it has been car issues and getting rides to work, but other times it’s just “oh I just didn’t like it”. He owes me $200 which I think he is just going to pay from his taxes. But… I have taken us out numerous times and paid for it every single time. We haven’t even been together a year. It’s just getting to a point.. when he’s not working he really is just sitting around the house all day maybe doing housework or yard work. It really puts a strain on our relationship sometimes. He doesn’t even have his own car. He can’t afford to just not work. But here he is… just quit his 5th job in 4 months. I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him but I don’t know how to have a productive conversation with him addressing this.

I’m 16F and this is objectively dumb and juvenile to ask advice for but I think this could be entertaining and I’d like some perspective.

I’ve been having this strange “talking stage” as some would call it between me and another guy, we’ll call him Tim, for the better part of half a year. We flirt and we used to spend every moment talking to each other and everyone kind of knew we liked each other but we would constantly chicken out. Well maybe two or three weeks ago on a fateful Saturday night Me, Tim, my best friend, and Tim’s best friend hung out after a basketball game. We were drinking (I know underage drinking is bad that’s not the point) and we had all gotten pretty drunk.

Me and Tim’s friend always have a good time together, he’s always been really funny and we have good conversations but we never really talk unless Tim is there. Well after talking to Tim friend for a little bit, he reached over, grabbed my face, and kissed me. I cannot stress this enough that I pushed him off of me and told him to stop. Kudos to Tim’s friend he did immediately stop! Well Tim was so drunk he ended up blacking out and forgetting the whole thing.

But Tim alluded to me the next day that he thinks he saw us kissing and how he doesn’t know what’d he do if it was true. Mind you Tim likes to dance around subjects, so he never explicitly said it was about me and his friend kissing.

I didn’t want to embarrass Tim’s friend so I stayed silent about it. Besides I doubted if Tim’s friend would even remember. On top of not wanting to embarrass Tim’s friend, I didn’t feel like it was my responsibility to tell Tim because we weren’t officially even dating (we have a weird thing going on). Me and Tim have never had a conversation about relationships and boundaries because honestly we both shy about that stuff.

Well Tim a couple days ago kind of spiraled on me about how he can’t trust anybody and that I don’t love him etc. I’m pretty darn convinced that one of our mutual friends told him (not even gonna get into her). Well we haven’t spoken a word to each other in days because he said a lot of mean things that really punched my heart. I texted him today and told him we seriously need to talk and he hasn’t read either of the two messages I sent.

I’ve been thinking if Tim doesn’t respond by the end of tonight I’m going to cut him off completely, but I don’t know if that’s right. I’m also still not totally sure if that’s fateful Saturday night is the reason why Tim spiraled on me. But I’m pretty certain as during lunch a couple days ago I had a brief conversation with Tim’s friend in the school parking lot and I saw Tim in our mutual friends car. Usually Tim would be with his friend, or at the very least jump at the sight of him. So the pairing of him avoiding me AND his friend makes me awfully suspicious.

They were really close friends. I don’t want to be painted as a villain or a whore because I’m not. I feel so awful about it all because I feel everyone, including Tim’s friend thought I was flirting with him. I thought me and Tim’s friend were just good friends, that we had an easy time talking to each other and that I could laugh with him like I do my girl friends. I really do love Tim and we’ve been through each other during really hard times. I don’t want to lose Tim.

I plan on telling him everything I’ve said here. I want to ask him what’s going on and for a chance to explain myself. I’m going to apologize for not telling him sooner. But I don’t know.

I need advice, what would you do in my situation? I feel awful but I also feel like I didn’t betray Tim because I pushed his friend off of me, but at the same time I probably really should have told Tim. Somebody please save me from teenage heartbreak asap.

TLDR; I feel like my therapist gave me very reactive/bad advice about work drama and now it’s causing me to spiral.

Recently, I (30something female) have been paired (as an assistant) with a male at work who has had at least 2 HR issues with treating his women assistants like crap (all verbal stuff, as he doesn’t work in the same location). So far he has been extra nice to me (like flowery/kind) but I have been told that has a history of being extra nice until he is mad and then he has been really rude and has said hurtful things. His last 2 assistants went on a mental health leave- but I also know one of the two has some underlying mental health issues as well.

I have been told by his boss and the other partner at the firm that I assist that if he is out of line, they will handle and have convos/scold, etc. so far he has been grateful and nice. I’m one of the top assistants and he was basically told that if he can’t work with me there’s no one else. I’ve been doing this job for about 7 years.

Anyway, because I know how he has treated other women, I set up a preemptive Therapy appointment to get ahead of things and learn different coping mechanisms for dealing with someone like this. My therapist didn’t have any advice other than exiting the relationship immediately as she already sees how much stress the what ifs are causing me. She even said she would write me a request for a medical leave if that’s what it took. She was adamant that there was no other option for me and said I seem to be experiencing an adjustment disorder.

I wasn’t -that stressed out about the new situation until I saw how serious she was. I now feel like a giant weight on my chest- I tried to talk to the bosses about it but they were dismissive as nothing has happened yet and actually made me feel like it was weird of me to even bring it up.

It’s hard, I know my job and I know that they won’t let me exit the relationship if nothing bad has happened. My therapist then suggested that they can’t grab my hands and force me to type or answer the phone. While, this is true- I risk being let go if I don’t do my job…and then get paid 100k as an assistant so it’s a great gig.

The plus is that this man says he’s going to retire in the next few years and doesn’t have that much workload (as I also assist someone else who has a big workload).

It’s just strange because I wasn’t even feeling THAT terrible about it, just anxious/nervous about the change and potential for uproar, but after my therapist made such a firm stance on what I should do, I feel worse.

I was debating on seeing a new therapist, although I had seen her in the past and she really helped me with work/life balance stuff.

Would it be odd to get a second opinion from a new therapist? I just felt like her advice of refusing to work with him preemptively before he does something OR find a new job wasn’t really the help I was looking for.

Just need some thoughts/opinions? I have been feeling pretty terrible and dreaming about potential situations and literally just feeling HEAVY since this therapy appointment (followed by me overreacting to my bosses about the new pairing which didn’t go over well).

If you’re into astrology stuff- if you can’t tell I’m a libra (lolll).

HALLPPP!

Since we met he has said I’m not nuturing. It hurt my feelings in the beginning and we squashed it. But since then we been together for three years and now living together. It’s been a couple months now.

My parents have taken care of me a lot to the point where when I was at home they did mostly everything. They knew I worked Long hours at my job and they tried to help me. But they told me that it I move out I will need to do a lot more than what I’m used to.

Before we moved in I started to clean more, cook more to prepare living on my own and living with my boyfriend. He has been critical about me every time I made a mistake or forget something. But for the most part I try to listen in on every thing he asks me to do it. I wash the dishes mostly every day and try to keep the apartment tidy. I do the groceries and laundry. When I cook I make his plate. Lately I’ve told him I need more help because running my new business is overwhelming for me. So when eats… I just ask him to clean up after himself. Don’t leave it sitting around for me to clean later after a long day. Since then he has washed the dishes, done the laundry, and cooked from time to time.

Last few days we had a discussion and he thinks I’m not very nurturing. That he doesn’t feel like he’s being taken care of. He feels like we are roommates more than partner. But he gets home early from work and play video games all day. I’m still at work and come home late. There’s days I know there’s no food and I still grab groceries and try to make us food for a few days. I still wash dishes, clothes.

Right now I don’t know how to feel. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting. He thinks that we still have a lot of learning to do with moving in with each other. I feel like he’s ungrateful.

So I’m 16 male and this is my first Valentine’s Day with a girl so I’m wondering when should I ask her to be my valentine cause she’s already made a remark about me not asking her yet and then what should I get her when I ask her and then also what should I get her for actual Valentine’s Day. Also by the way Im 16 so I don’t have over like 100 dollars to spend.

so i’ve been texting this girl for a about a week and i definitely like her. but i’m not 100% sure she likes me. however, i’ve asked some friends and they’ve agreed that if she wasn’t interested, she could’ve left me on delivered or ended the conversation by now. with valentine’s day coming up, i wanted to possibly go and ask her to be my valentine but then again i don’t want to assume she likes me just because she’s texting me. what should i do? (background info: we’ve known eachother for a few months but only recently started having one on one conversations)

Hey everyone, first off, let me start by apologising for how long this post is. I have been posting in a couple of subs lately, looking for the best place to post this, so here I am. It's a timeline of my life, as I need advice, help, and suggestions.

A little back story I've been lied to and manipulated my whole life by my family but recently some things have come to light and I'm desperate for help and answers, i can't remember any of my childhood up till Early 2017 at 13 years old I've had a couple of people including professionals tell me this is a trauma response.

Important point 1: my father lived in a granny flat near the main house i lived in the main house with my grandparents.

Important point 2: the property has been in my grandfather's family for multiple generations but somehow my grandmother now owns it fully and my grandfather has no say over it.

Important point 3: my grandfather has expressed to me multiple times he's scared of my father.

Important point 4: I have 2 stepmums they will be referred to as old stepmum and new stepmum.

Some of this information has been sent to me by a reliable source and will be marked with ANON at the start of it.

Early 1996: Long story but my mum had issues with her ex, and he murdered their son. Both were charged with the murder although she never actually hurt her son in any way, her ex did. However because she didn't call for help, she was charged too but her ex had abused and manipulated her into not calling for help. It seems very likely she had postpartum depression at the time but it wasn't really understood at the time. Her daughter my half-sister was put into the care of her grandparents.

Late 2001: Mum was released from jail.

Around 2002: My grandfather used to drink excessively before I was born this continued after I was born.

Early 2004: Grandparents found out about Mum's past and started abusing her.

Early 2004: my mother and father got married.

Early 2004: I was born. My grandparents kept abusing my mother.

Early 2004: Grandparents started a custody battle against my mother and father this was mainly my grandmother's doing.

Middle 2004: Grandparents were given custody of me over my mother and father.

Middle 2004: My grandfather abused my mother and father while I was in his arms he was drunk at the time, my mum decided for my protection it was best to leave to keep me safe, there was nothing she could do now as my grandparents had been given full custody of me. At the same time, my father decided to leave with my mother.

Early to Middle 2008: My father came back when I was 4 after no contact at all before this point. My mum had told him to leave and come back to me so I could have at least one parent in my life.

Early 2009: My Grandfather reduced his drinking around the same time I started school, as no one else would take me to school including my father. Although he still did drink on weekends.

Late 2009: The visits I had on and off with my sister just suddenly stopped i was told by my grandmother my sister and her grandparents didn't want to do it anymore.

Early 2010: old stepmum came into my life when I was 6 years old.

Early 2014: my first half-brother was born when I was about to turn 10.

Middle 2015: my grandfather stopped drinking entirely.

ANON 2017: a psychologist wanted my dad tested for NPD but he refused.

Early 2018: my other half-brother was born when I had just turned 14.

Late 2018: my old stepmother left and took my half brothers with her, while my father and grandmother were at work and I was at school no one knew this was happening.

Middle 2019: I met my partner and told him about my life and what was going on at that time he helped me try and get more independence from my family as I could never go anywhere i wasn't even allowed to walk to school it was 5 minutes from our house in a safe area I couldn't go out with friends on the weekend nothing.

Late 2019: I had abdominal pain on and off for 3 days.

On day 4 I asked my grandparents to take me to the doctor my grandfather wanted to but my grandmother started an argument saying I was fine and to sleep it off.

Day 5 was really bad and I could hardly move i was also throwing up i asked again and was refused by my grandmother.

Day 6 I was allowed the day off school and was in bed all day throwing up and crying in pain again they refused to take me to the doctor or hospital that night I called my partner throwing up crying and screaming in pain, he told me to tell them bluntly if they don't take me up to the hospital right now I will call an ambulance and police, I did and they finally decided to take me up.
I had multiple ovarian cysts one was 7cm one was 4cm and multiple had ruptured I spent 4 days in the hospital. My grandmother refused to come see me my grandfather was there with me every second he could be and constantly looked guilty and upset for not listening to me.

Around this time I was constantly called ungrateful by my grandmother with threats to kick me out.

Early 2020: New stepmum entered my life.

ANON Early 2020: both my half brothers were told by my dad that old stepmum was going to die for leaving him when he found out they told her they were both told they would die too for telling his secrets I was also told at this stage that he used to physically, mentally, financially and sexually abuse old stepmum gave one of my half brothers a black eye and did other things to them I still haven't been told, but they're both seeing professional help.

Early 2020: after telling my partner more about my life and how my whole life I had been told my mother was dead but with everything going on I was starting to doubt what I had been told so he started searching for answers he found my mothers Facebook profile and my grandparents on her side we messaged them.

Early 2020: From late 2018 till this point every time my father had my half brothers over I was the one that looked after them all day, fed them, cooked for them, cleaned up after them, changed them, and bathed them the only thing he ever did was insist on putting them to bed.

Middle 2020: I had been having issues breathing on and off for a couple of days my puffer wasn't working i again was refused a doctor again i threatened to call an ambulance so they took me up long story short I ended up with a major chest infection and was in the hospital for just over 8 days

Middle 2020: my grandmother on my mum's side finally messaged me, the information I found out was my mum wasn't dead and had sent me things for my birthday or Christmas every year the things they sent were things my family said my aunts or uncles got me or my father got me and they never stopped the visits with my sister like I was told, my grandmother did.

Late 2020: I couldn't handle school anymore i was constantly being bullied and pushed around or bashed i asked if I could finish my schooling in Tafe instead (it's free) i explained my mental health was getting bad and I was having thoughts of suicide but my grandparents refused.

Early 2021: I had enough of the lack of independence and control so I asked my partner for help we made a 1-year plan and set it in motion. He opened a bank account for me in my name, signed me up for Tafe, he helped me find a doctor and a counsellor (yes I still didn't have a bank account at 17 or a doctor and still hadn't been allowed to see a counsellor)

Middle 2021: continuing the 1-year plan I got a job and started saving.

Early 2022: I moved out less than a month after I turned 18.

ANON middle 2022: my father and new stepmother went after my old stepmother in front of court staff at a family court hearing he has been given an AVO to stay away from her till 2024 and has been classed as a high-risk person.

Early 2023: my son was born and we went to visit my family my new stepmum kept saying things to me about my partner when he wasn't around like he's a drug user, he can't provide for you or your son because he doesn't work, you should move back here and so on. He has a permanent injury he got at work (first responder and he loved it) that's stopped him from working and he has painkillers he hardly ever uses till he's screaming in pain because he's seen the effects painkillers have had on people's lives.

Early 2024: I asked my grandfather if I could borrow $5000 for 2 months so we could buy our own place through a government program he said he would talk to my grandmother, he did and I was told no way in hell we don't have that type money and even if we did you wouldn't be getting it.

ANON Middle 2024: after more issues with my dad old stepmum was given an AVO against him till 2029 for her and my half brothers, a court judge also gave orders for my half brothers and old stepmums name to be changed without my dad knowing the new names for there protection my father was found guilty and only avoided jail because my grandmother paid $90K to get him a really good lawyer.
I know this information to be true as I overheard my grandmother talking about it with another family member.

what I want to know is
1: did my dad likely do anything to me and have I shut it out and that's why I can't remember any of my childhood?
2: is my grandfather trying to be a better person but is being manipulated by my grandmother and father or is he as bad as them?
3: are my kids and my partner in danger from my family and should I cut contact with all of them or just some of them and if so who?
4: anything else I've overlooked that others can see and I cant

To add context: I went to the movies with my friend and her boyfriend(who's female to male). And they needed a ride home. So my mom offered them a ride home. After we dropped them off, my mom goes, "So you're friend is dating a trans person." And I replied "Yeah he's trans" and my mom was like "Yeah I know SHE'S trans" and added "I always knew (my bestfriend's name) would come out as gay or lesbian." I ignored this comment, but she decided to go on a rant and made it personal TO ME asking "So do you like girls?" and I replied "No I'm straight, sexual orientation isn't a disease, it doesn't spread." but she replied saying "Well usually people of the same sexual orientation hang out with eachother. I had friends who were lesbian but I didn't REALLY hang out with them much as you do." Basically implying that I'm a lesbian because I have a bestfriend who's dating someone trans. Like I understand she comes from an older generation, but it kind of pissed me off that she was implying that I'm gay because I have a friend who's dating someone from the LGBTQ, what kind of logic is that. She also just said this to scare me away from hanging out with her (because she really never liked my bestfriend). To add on, I don't know why she asked if I liked girls because I'm 18 years old so I'm pretty set in stone about my sexual orientation already.Then when we got home, my mom got out the car and went inside and sat on the couch to watch TV. I got out the car, went to make a sandwich, then walked passed her and she gave me the most DISAPPOINTED face ever. Like she discovered something horrible or that I did something horrible? Like oh wow I went to the movies with a trans person, wow so crazy. I don't do drugs, don't go to parties, and a 4.0 GPA student. Yet this is how I disappoint her, crazy. To make it worse, she invited to drive my brother somewhere, basically meaning she's going to gossip with him about what she discovered about my bestfriend. What should I do or how can I handle this situation?

Me (26M) and my best friend (27M) met 6 years ago when we joined the Marine Corps at the same time and ended up in the same unit. Out of everyone I served with, he's the only one I still talk to. I don't make many friends, so the ones I do have are very close to me. He's not what you would call a serious person, at all. I'm one of the only people that can even tell if what he's saying is legit because he's just that goofy and constantly messing around. Now, the things I need help understanding might just be normal guy stuff that happens between friends and I'm overthinking it, but you tell me. It goes without saying that when you join the military you are also signing up to see your guy friends naked. But he takes that to the next level. He will send me snapchats of him getting blowjobs from chicks or pictures of his erection pressing against his underwear. That seems pretty sus, right? But he's a serious womanizer. That on top of his goofy nature makes it really hard for me to understand it all. Now, I'm not gay. I'm attracted to women, always have been. But when he sends me that stuff, I get kind of confused because part of me likes it. So I guess my questions are: is this dude not totally straight? Should I ask him if he's bi or whatever? Should I tell him how those pics and videos make me feel? I really don't want to fuck up our friendship.

every workbook, every video, every article i’ve read or seen, has said to identify the positives of yourself & to focus on your own strengths. how do you find something positive about yourself when you don’t believe there is anything positive? how can you focus on your own strengths when you have none?

How to tell a girl that i want to see her as a friend ++ but i dont a relationship (please help me as soon as possible)

I'm in a very sticky situation. I'm a senior in HS and I graduate in a couple months. I have a pretty good scholarship lined up that'll pay my entire college tuition, this would celebrational if I knew where I was going for college. I don't want to stay in my current state because I'm miserable here. My mom moves as soon as I graduate. Initially I was going to go along with her but now I don't really want to. I don't like the idea of living there. It seems equally miserable as my current state. I want to move to Washington or Orgeon but I can't because I don't have a job or money. Even if I could land a job, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to save enough for the move plus I missed the application deadlines for either of the states. I'm so stressed out I don't know what to do. It doesn't help that I have less than 3 months to make this decision.

My professor from last semester is teaching a Native American literature class that I tried my hardest to work into my schedule this semester, and it just didn't work out. However, I loved him as a professor, and he's been really great to me and my studies. I'm native, and I appreciate his conversation around native advocacy and his general teaching throughout the last semester. To show that appreciation, I thought I'd get him a “no more stolen sisters” t-shirt to wear during his class or whenever, but I was afraid of coming off weird or maybe being inappropriate. I just really enjoy him (as a professor) and appreciate his care for native issues and interest in teaching native literature. So what do you think? Is it weird?

I am sitting at a dinner party with a migraine feeling more ignored and alone than ever.

I do not think I will attend another. It's at a party hosted by my gf's sister.

I just want to cry.

Got ghosted by a guy I had been seeing for like two months. Went from feeling super hopeful going into the new year to being ghosted out of the blue. Went to dinner two weeks ago and haven't heard from him since and just feeling so depressed. Does anyone have any tips on how to get over someone you never actually dated? I just want to forget his existence so I can stop feeling so sad and thinking of him immediately when I wake up. It hurts checking my phone and not seeing his number and knowing I probably never will again. I just keep hoping he'll come back.

Currently I’m a 23 male, me and my ex broke up a few months back, relationship was 5 years. I still think I’m healing and all but my heart wants love again. I wish I knew if I was good looking or not. I always feel like hardly any women think I’m attractive and social media makes it worse. No likes, no follow requests, no DM’s, shit hardly any replies. How can I know if I’m lacking confidence and women pick up on it? Am I just genuinely not an attractive guy? All opinions welcome and will be taken into consideration. Thanks all.

I need advice, but first I need to talk about it. When I was 18 (now 23) I truly believe I met the love of my life. We’ll call him Michael for this. Michael was perfect and through times of trauma he was always there for me. Literally, always. We were in a LDR and had worked through that easily, facetime every night and morning before I went to my classes. He was living on the other side of the US from me and honestly, I broke down every single day because I hated to be away from him. But he was more important to me than the distance. Silly us, decided to get married before he was sent on a 6 month business trip and I flew out for a week to see him and sign the papers. Apparently while he was on the business trip, he cheated allegedly. However, when he got back home to the US, I moved across the US to be with him. I didn’t know what may or may not have happened then. 3-4 months into living with him I found that he was cheating online with me and talking to other women. I was absolutely destroyed. In efforts to make things still work I forgave him later on, and we mended things. It went back to normal. But then he cheated again online. During the second attempt to forgive and move on, we tried therapy, opening our relationship and we even had a girlfriend at one point. But he could never get offline and away from these women on there. Business took him out of the US for another 6 months to a year after I found out, once again, he cheated. During that time I couldn’t trust him and I called for divorce. I was absolutely devastated. He was my best friend. Outside of cheating, he was an amazing husband, perfect partner and truly the love of my life. It’s been almost a year since we called for divorce. Only one paper has been signed and not even the one that legalizes the separation. I, to my core, dread every waking day I have to sign another paper. He is now coming back to the US since his work leave was extended after I called for a divorce. I want to reach out to him and scream at the top of my lungs that I am still unfathomably in love with him. Every part of my heart and soul aches to be back with him. We’ve both dated since we have separated, but for me, nothing feels right. Everyone just feels empty. I still talk to his family and they assure me all the time of how much they love and miss me. I just can’t read his mind. I even forgot at one point what his voice sounded like, which was such a potent feeling of sadness. Michael was everything to me and I feel like I let him go too quickly. We both needed to grow up. I won’t sit here and say I was the best wife, but I know I did all I could and I would do better moving forward. I just can’t shake this pain and ache that I left someone who is meant for me. He was a great man, but I wish he treated me the same as he showed how he treated his girlfriend after me. I miss the man I once knew and the man who I fell in love with, and still love.
I know the comments will end up being like “run girl run” or “get over him”. But there’s always more that’s is left unsaid and this was over years of my life. I just need advice or someone who may have gone through something similar. My family hates discussing things relating to him and are tired of listening to how I feel about it. They’re moved on but I’m not and a part of me just wants to scream at anyone who knows of us/ knew we were together and tell them that I’m not moved on. It kills me and some days I just look back on what we had and catch me smiling, but then start crying because I miss them.
Thank you for all who reply and I appreciate sincerely to those who have taken the time to read. You listening alone helps me feel heard and seen.

Where should I write my songs with strict parents? I’m a minor obviously and didn’t know where else to ask this. My parents have no reason to read through my notes. I am a good teen that doesn’t get into trouble. Still I get questions about am I doing drugs, doing stuff with boys, etc etc. Which I have never gave a reason for them to think that. Now even though I don’t participate in the trouble that a lot of teens my age do, the songs I write are not PG-13. A lot of the stuff is just my thoughts and imagination. I also write about how badly my parents affect me. I write about my bad emotions. Which they tend to get angry about how I feel. I would never want them to see what I write about. What should I do? I don’t know if you guys have advice but I thought i’d ask this sub. Should I try and hide my notebooks? Use a particular app to write in? Thank you if you have any sort of advice.

I’m currently a teenager so I feel in no way I have any business in it but I can’t help it and I worry for them.

My cousin, who is fairly VERY VERY Young (not even 10 yet), has been experiencing abuse in her household.

I’ve talked to her about it but she was a bit hesitant because she’s been keeping it a secret of how she felt about it for a long time.

For context, it’s known that the mother has been abusing the dad. I’m not quite sure what the mom has but I’m pretty sure it’s some mental disorder (that she may not be diagnosed with) and she gets pretty violent. I remember from when I was a kid, she threatened to stab the dad because she thought he was cheating (he wasn’t). The mom has crazy delusions about the dad being in an affair when in reality, it’s the opposite. The dad doesn’t do anything about it and doesn’t try to fight back. He ends up with bruises.

I knew this about their relationship. But I never knew how my cousin felt about it until now. Turns out she’s been exposed to it and she would break down multiple times crying because of her mom abusing her dad. She doesn’t know what abuse meant so I told her how the abuser is someone who harms the other person and I asked her who the abuser is in the situation and she said her mom. I talked about it with her calmly, trying to not make it sound urgent as to not scare her. She also told me how her mom would threatened her to not say anything or else she might do something bad to her. It seemed like she didn’t grasp the situation but I don’t blame her given she is a kid, such a strong one too because I have no idea how she could handle that abuse for so long. I tried helping her understand, telling her examples and scenarios. Talking to her about trying to ask for help and she said she did ask her teacher for help but they ended up just giving her a pep talk and nothing happened.

I told her that I might call CPS to help out (which I had to explain to her what it is) but she looked scared saying that her mom might get mad and how she doesn’t want to be apart from her mom. Her mom went to a sudden trip before and she cried saying she missed her so much even though it had been just a day. I told her, “okay hmm think about it like this. You want to be safe right?” She nodded. “You want your daddy to be happier right?” She nodded. “You want your mom to get better right?” She nodded. I explained how calling the CPS will do that and she won’t be doing anything wrong.

After a bit of talking with her, I started audio recording the rest of the conversation just in case.

In the end, I told her I will call CPS. She looked at me saying no and I laughed lightly saying I will to ease the tension. It did ease the tension and she just asked us to stop talking about it. I said okay.

I’m seriously thinking of calling CPS but I’m hesitant wanting to listen to my cousin and respect their wishes. My family knows about the abuse my uncle (the dad) has been through and they always tell him to do something but he hasn’t been doing anything.