My partner is very sensitive and with high emotions, something small, he will makes it feel and sound big. I’m feeling very drained, he is not able to handle his negative emotions, I’m exhausted and depressed.. please help …

I am a 14(f) I just feel so tried all the time and I just want to end it but I don't want my family to feel sad when am gone I don't have a passion for anything thing I wonder if my whole life is going to be like this I just want to feel happy for real some times I am just acting I feel so alone no can understand me and when I try to say my emotions they say I am a cry baby I want to feel that spark again I want to be loved by some one else and I know my family loves me but I don't even love myself I am always a joyful person around everyone and I do sometimes feel happy but the pain is to much I don't even have a good reason to be sad I have everything I ever want so why do I feel this way

Hello! We have been living in an "luxury" apartment for 3 years. There has been a lot of smoking (non-smoking property), people stole things from my apartment door (I showed the apartment office the ring video a month ago), and dog poop everywhere. We have security at night from 10pm to 6am, however, they are supposed to check names and apartment numbers, but they don't. They ask for your name then let you go though without looking at a binder. It says in the lease agreement we have to pay double the rent to move, however, they told us they were trying to solve the smoking issues and I got told they have other people complain, but they can't do anything until they have proof. Our washer and dryer area smells like weed, and they put filler on our dryer vent, but it still comes through. Do we have to pay to break the lease since they are technically violating their terms?

My daughter (13) has been hitting her teeth together loudly since she was 8. It wasn't an issue before, but now she has braces and it's chipping her teeth. It's becoming more damaging and concerning. She has anxiety, and that could affect this. It is very loud and is becoming an issue for her sister, who she shares a room with, and students in her class.

We didn't do anything sooner because we thought she'd grow out of it, but now all her adult teeth have come through and she's still doing it, and now it's damaging her adult teeth. We need advice on how to make her stop.

Im 38 male. I need help. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I am depressed or anxious or something. I have felt this way for a long time. I'm married and have a beautiful 3 year old daughter with another on the way. I love them more than anything but I still have trouble just being happy. A couple of years ago I was on anxiety medication, made things worse. I got off those and moved to thc. But that just made me not do anything productive. Recently stopped that after 2 years and I am just scared now. I'm scared to leave the house, talk to ppl, and scared I'm going to blow the one shot i have at this life. Here are the problems I have had since I was a kid and now.

1. I'm very shy, I'm awkward conversating with ppl. Example - about 5 years ago on easter, my wife and I were leaving a campground and the attendant said to me hope you enjoyed your stay happy Easter, I responded with "Happy" and just drove off. I was very embarrassed.

2. I have low self esteem which causes me to be very defensive if anyone says anything to me that makes me think they are saying I'm not good enough in any subject. Has caused a lot of arguments in my life and me getting very butt hurt.

3. I lack focus. I'm one of those people who wants to like and be great at everything. I do not have one area I feel I am truly excited about. I think it's called shiney object syndrome or something. I want to do everything at all times. I get bored with things very quickly.

4. I both love change and hate it at the same time. I want change so bad then instantly regret it.

5. I'm very competitive and I can be mean about it. For no reason at all. Losing will cause me anger and frustration followed by regret for my actions.

6. I just all around don't feel good enough for anything or anyone. But I won't show that to anyone, instead I'll try to over compensate.

7. I have an addictive personality when it comes to substances, started drinking at 18 and smoked weed. Been using nicotine since I was 13. I've been able to quit all of these at times but then just pick them back up years later and worse than before.

I'm currently in sales and I'm just so nervous to speak to people.

There's a lot more but I'm regretting writing this post as I type, so I'm done now.

okay so... i just joined uni and i take a bus... and so this girl started sitting with me almost every day. then... after like a month we started talking (she talked first). we talked... then last month her bus changed.. and so i moved things to instagram... we talk like everyday but not like 1 on 1 she replies late then i reply late... and this goes on...

now.... we both have our college break from the last two weeks.. and college starts tomorrow... she replied to my message today after 3 days (3 FUDGING DAYS).... WHAT DO I DO.. I DEVELOPED FEELINGS FOR HER

This is my first breakup I’ve ever experienced and i genuinely don’t know what to do. He broke up with me at 3am over text 2 days before the holidays ended and my big exam weeks started - so I distracted myself with the studying. But now since I only have one left all the emotions are spiraling and I feel unwell, cry at random times without feeling it come on, numb. I don’t see him often so it genuinely feels like he’s dead. We were in contact for most of last week just updating each other (which I thought was stupid annoying) but since it stopped I miss him 1000x times more. He didn’t treat me great towards the end but I still miss him terribly.

my grandmother a few months ago left her care unit to return back home, but has needed carers to visit her home around the clock everyday. in these months we've noticed money and items going missing and nobody who is family has been moving or taking the items, meaning it can only really leave the carers being the culprits behind it.

the problem is tho, we are currently being provided this care for free and if we wanted to switch to anyone else we would be paying like 200 a week for the care which we cant really afford, so the sticky part is that we are all pretty convinced theyre the ones stealing from her, but without these carers specifically being the ones to do it there aint even gonna be anything left to steal, and the social worker and company as a whole are aware of this and thus, not really doing much to help it as of right now.

so with that being said, any advice ?

Mine and my girlfriend's mutual best friend has started to act strange, and we think he's hacked our phones to look at her n*des. More and more strange coincidences are happening - and we're getting increasingly concerned about his potential intentions... This will be a long one, as a lot of context needs to be provided to justify our paranoia, so please be patient. <3

CONTEXT:

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 6 months, and met through our mutual best friend. They went to school together and had been friends for about 5 years before me and him met online and also became friends. After 3 years of him saying he wanted to move from Scotland to England, he moved down here and we got an apartment together. I had never been introduced or met my current girlfriend (his best mate) for the 3 years we were "online friends", but he had mentioned her name in passing conversations. About 2 years ago, he wanted my advice as he was entirely infatuated by her and completely obsessed, and wished to date her. Due to me not knowing her at the time, I helped him as guys do, with some friendly man-to-man chats, which slowly grew into him become irrationally in love with her. He eventually asked her out, which she declined, as she had absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever and didn't see him that way. They since have managed to stay friends, and he's "apparently" gotten over her and sees her as just a friend now.

12 months ago, me and my current girlfriend started talking over text, as she would have to be the one helping him drive his stuff down. After a few months we realised that me and her we got on pretty well, but it stayed as merely gentle flirting and joking over texts. He found out about this, and started to tell me all sorts of stories about her that were later discovered to be untrue - but started to completely put me off of her as a person. The same thing happened on her end, he would tell her all sorts of "true stories" about myself, which deterred her from me too. We eventually had our minds completely warped about what each other were like as people (but obviously were unaware of this, so just took his stories as fact - due to never meeting each other to know otherwise).

They had a brief long-weekend vacation down at my house, he wanted to scope the local area out as he knew he'd be moving, and she joined as she just needed a little break somewhere. I very quickly realised that she was NOT the person who my friend had made her out to be, and likewise her with me... We had a lot more chemistry than we thought, and were so comfortable so quickly.

Long story short, after her returning one month later to move his stuff down, and me flying up to visit her - we decided that we had something amazing and wanted to try long-distance (which we are now 6 months deep and are very much happy together). But since moving in, things have started to happen, and we are beginning to worry...

---

[I told him about this, and asked his permission do date her, as I was aware of his past feelings. I told him that we haven't *done anything* yet, as we were very careful and respectful of him and eachother, and wanted to wait until we were officially dating before having sex. He said he was uncomfortable with it, but he'd grow to accept it and let me go ahead with it]

As soon as we made things official, he started to glorify me. Saying things like "How are you so much more manly than me?!" and "You're like the definition of a real MAN, I feel so inadequate compared to you". He then started to copy me in different ways, like: buying similar clothes, taking girls on VERY similar dates and activities that I do with my girlfriend, buying a girl the same ring I'd bought my girlfriend, even down to copying certain expressions that I use.

[Another bit of context that will become relevant to our concerns, is that my friend has expressed to me that he has a foot fetish. Bare with me...]

She visited in October for a few days, and then returned home. I had then found one of her socks laying about the house. We thought it was strange, as she didn't do any laundry at mine, nor had she lost one, but we chalked it up to us being absent minded and it maybe getting mixed up in my laundry and dropped in the house.

She then visited in December, where once again... we found another one of her socks. (To preface, my girlfriend wears very specific/unique socks, so there's no chance he's had a girl round and its one of theirs.) However, this time I found it stuffed underneath the sofa in the living room. We'd only sat on that sofa once during her stay, and due to her hatred for walking around barefoot, she would have definitely noticed it accidentally slipping off. The gap underneath the chair is also far too tight for it to have been kicked or accidentally swept under, it would have required force to get in as far under the sofa as it was... He strangely called me as soon as we'd left, saying "I want to show you a funny Instagram reel when you get back", to which I said "oh, we won't be back until next morning as we're staying in a hotel tonight. (My friend has NEVER rang me to show me an Instagram reel, and I found that the video he was so desperate to ring me about was very underwhelming and didn't justify a call). Him knowing about us being away (due to ringing me) would have granted him unobserved access to my room with all of our belongings in... which would explain how he had was able to acquire one of her socks from my room?

The next week after she'd left, she sent me a "bath pic" on snapchat (which we use exclusively for sexting), as a bit of e-foreplay. I never got round to opening it that night due to being busy at work, and opened my snapchat the next morning. Due to it being a tame bath picture, it only contained her legs and feet resting on the far end of the bath tub. For the sake of transparency, I will refer to my best friend as Tony from now on. To my horror, after opening the picture it said next to it "Opened and saved to Camera roll by Tony: 1 day ago". Me and my girlfriend have proof that I didn't not open it on the night she sent it, and opened it the next day. I speak to other friends on snapchat, and hadn't messaged Tony in over a month on snapchat. (Before people jump to the obvious conclusion, me and my girlfriend have meticulously scrolled, screenshotted and screen shared our snapchats, in case she accidentally sent it to the wrong person. But it was not, and only sent to my account, my device.

We instantly thought that it must be a glitch, however that theory just isn't checking out in our minds...

- Girlfriend sends a sexual picture containing a clear view of her feet

- Snapchat "glitches" and says it was saved to camera roll by another user

- The other user that was featured was TONY (When it could have been any of my other contacts)

- The opening time said "Opened 1 day ago", A completely different time and date to when I myself opened it.

*^*There are so many coincidences wrapped up in this "glitch", and based on everything that has been happening, said by Tony, and done by Tony over the last year. It would imply to us that he somehow has access to the photos she's sending on snapchat. We are also concerned at the timing of this "glitch", as it was a mere week after we had found her sock impossibly stuffed down the sofa when we KNOW for certain that it wasn't either of us.

CONCLUSION:

Please can someone offer any clarity on this for us, as we are now panicking that our privacy, and my girlfriend's safety has been completely breached, due to my best mate being jealous and still obsessed with her. We're not even sure if our theory of him hacking into our private snapchat conversation is even possible, but due to the level of coincidences wrapped up in it, we have nothing else to do but think the worst.

Any and all pieces of advice or knowledge would be much appreciated, as we are both very paranoid, scared and worried about what he might be doing and have access to.

I've been working at the same company for 8 years, and during that time, I became friends with a female colleague (I'm also a woman). When I first started, she was more like a buddy who showed me the ropes—she's been with the company for 7 years longer than I have. She joined straight out of school, whereas I've worked in the same field at various companies to gain experience. As a result, we have very different skill sets. I’ve seen a lot more of the industry and am a few years older than her.

At work, we got on really well, and we’d sometimes meet up outside of work and text frequently. However, we rarely visit each other’s homes.

We both have our own ambitions. I was keen to take a specific course that she didn’t seem particularly interested in. Let’s just say it aligned better with my skills and career goals. I’d already built good relationships with the course instructors, and they were enthusiastic about me joining. My management mentioned that others were also waiting to take the course, including another colleague who’s been at the company slightly longer than I have. That colleague ended up not being able to attend due to personal issues, which freed up a spot.

Then, to my surprise, this “friend” started cosying up to colleagues in leadership positions whom she’s known longer. Next thing I know, she’s been given the spot on the course. I felt pretty betrayed because she knew how much I wanted this opportunity. For context, this course is rarely offered, so spots are very limited.

I was upset and decided to distance myself from her—texting her less and ignoring her a bit. Now, she keeps messaging me constantly, almost as if she’s trying to see if I’ll respond. She also sends me all sorts of things related to the course, and it feels like she’s trying to rub it in or make me jealous. Why do you think she’s doing this?

She also loves being in the spotlight, so she’s making a big deal out of being selected and how she’ll soon be certified.

I want to handle this situation professionally and remain collegial, but I honestly have no interest in continuing the friendship. It feels like she stabbed me in the back. A few years ago, I also overheard her telling my manager that I wasn’t ready to take on leadership responsibilities (not that leadership is even my goal). At the time, I reacted the same way—I distanced myself. But eventually, I gave her another chance, and we seemed to build a stronger bond. Now it feels like the same thing has happened again—she takes advantage of any opportunity, even if it’s at my expense.

I’ve also noticed she often claims she speaks positively about me, but when I double-check with others, it doesn’t always seem to be true. For instance, she had another colleague she treated as a rival, which escalated to the point of regular arguments. That colleague eventually left the company for another role. She told me one of the reason was this colleague.

How should I deal with this situation? Why do you think she behaves this way? Do you guys have some other advice to deal with this?

Last weekend my parents took my younger brother out for his 18th birthday,we did things he liked,went to his favorite restaurant, went bowling, and let him pick out his gift.Now we were supposed to celebrate my birthday weekend today my mom told me we were going out to my favorite restaurant and pick out a gift as well. However my grandpa’s birthday party is today, it was supposed to be last weekend.I do care about my grandpa but he doesn’t interact much so my mom made him his favorite drink and made a salad to the party, I decided to skip it because I’m going to work and I feel upset because my sister gets birthday party’s and my brother gets gifts now I know that I’m older but growing up I had to share my birthday party’s and i rarely got gifts it’s gotten to the point were people ask me what I want I can’t come up with an answer. Even though I am going to work all i wanted was to eat tacos and get a Dodge Charger 69 RC or a hat,this could have worked.Now I don’t want to talk to both of my parents because if I compare my birthdays to my siblings,they will make feel bad to speaking my “feelings” and I do want skip my birthday this Tuesday Will I be the asshole if I don’t want to talk to my parents, and go offline on my birthday?

How would you respond to someone who says “you can have $1,000/month for now instead of $500/month, but we need to reevaluate in six months and see if things have gotten better.

The person “allotting” the $1,000 works a typical job outside the home. The person receiving the money stays home with their four children and takes on nearly all medical, childcare, cooking, administrative tasks, emotional support, planning, organizing, coordinating, etc. Cleaning also falls on the receiver of the $1,000 however it doesn’t get done perfectly or consistently as they feel they are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of responsibilities placed on them combined with the lack of acknowledgment and appreciation of their efforts as well as an unfair amount of compensation.

The person who works a traditional job outside the home has about $3,500/month of personal money left after paying bills. The $1,000 in question comes from disability for their teenage child who has complex medical complications. Bills have almost always been split 50/50 with a few exceptions where the traditional worker in the partnership voluntarily took on certain expenses here and there. Up until the past year both partners worked jobs outside the home (one full-time, one part-time). Majority of the home and childcare responsibilities as well as the expectation of being available to handle things 24/7 if necessary did not change.

What would you consider a “fair” set up? How do you think most people would split these finances and responsibilities? What would you say if your partner tried to implement this same dynamic in your relationship? I am curious to hear some outside perspective.

Thanks!

(long post) Me 16f still in school, I am prone toxic and abusive (not physically) relationships not sure why I keep on getting into them. My friend 16f I will call her Samantha. Important information me and Samantha both have autism I have help in school but she doesn't.

Background is recently the room Samantha stays in at lunchtime has disbanded because a teacher left. Samantha has been really controlling every time I say I can't hang out with her at lunchtime she starts saying I'm the reason why she stressed and that I'm being mean, and that now she has to go to the bathroom. If I want to get school food she says I shouldn't eat lunch and I can stop eating for a few hours, because she wants to stay with me instead. Sometimes I feel she doesn't like anything I do.

The situation came to a boiling point when I told one of my support teachers they banned her from the center which is where she's been hanging out with me at lunch. It was her birthday and she wanted to find a room to stay with me and one of the teachers walked up to us and asked if I wanted to hang out with her and I did a weird head gesture because I wasn't sure. After the teacher left she started to get really upset with me and saying I'm the reason why her mental health is bad and that I don't care about her. I also said some things back like asking if she cares about me and stuff I ended up getting really upset and crying and she was asking if I had a seizure (I don't have epilepsy she does) but I was just overwhelmed.

She said I was overreacting and the next day she was trying to get a room and asked if I would stay with her every day and I said I wouldn't be able to. She started getting really angry and upset saying that I'm the reason why she's so stressed and she's upset with me and saying that I make her fingers curl and one day I'm going to make her cry herself to sleep. I ran away and told one of my teachers and I don't want to be friends with her right now. Ignored her text but she got in touch with a mutual friend and texted me it's making me question whether to be friends with her again or not. I will put the text blow.

'I know your going to ignore this text but listen my mental health is bad and I don’t want to lose you my grandparents are getting old and they really want me to go to prom with you because if not I’ll have no one also we can study together also since I found the Welsh lady I won’t be all over you anymore I just want to be friends again I didn’t realise I was upsetting you.' I'm not sure if I should be friends with her again I know she repeats this type of behavior. I just don't want to be trapped in a cycle again like with my previous friends.

(long post)

some context: my boyfriend and i have been together going on 6 years now, in the past he has been unfaithful to me on many occasions (10 to be exact) each time we have grown past it and he hasn’t done anything wrong and has really been showing me he’s getting better/ wants to try for our relationship, i have intimacy problems as of recently that i honestly really can’t figure out, may be caused by stress or may be my meds, or my trauma, i’m working on that with a therapist right now, as of right now we’re only having sex 2-4 times a month, which is making me feel as if he MIGHT chose to cheat on me again, within the past almost year he’s been completely faithful to me and has really shown how much he’s willing to change, the only way i know this is because i go through his phone while he’s sleeping, i haven’t seen anything nor thought anything was suspicious or wrong. until Wednesday night, i had found an accidental screenshot he had taken of his messages page, it had a phone number attached to it with the mute symbol right next to it,also the most recent message being a heart emoji, i had woken him up and asked him about it (i’ll admit i wasn’t very nice about it) and he continued to explain that it was one of his coworkers, confused and frustrated he was hiding a conversation from me that had been deleted, i definitely caused it to be a big argument before getting the full story, later he explained to me that he was talking to his coworker about proposing to me. he had shown me proof, i had calmed down apologized, and continued to go to sleep, all had seemed to be fine, till the next day, he wasn’t talking to me, he was passive aggressive to me the whole night, making snarky comments, refused to eat the food i was making for dinner, and only came up to me to ask for my vape or attempt to have sex with me, obviously this upset me and i pushed for him to talk to me, he’s NEVER shut me out like this and i’ve never seen this side of him, we then got in a huge argument and i decided to sleep in the guest room, didn’t get any sleep bc i was crying so much. next day he still refused to talk to me, about mid day i blew up, told him he’s never done this to me before and i just want to know what’s happening, what i can do to make things better and what is going through his head, begging him to talk to me yell at me, write me a note, ANYTHING he then yelled at me to leave him alone, i sat in the guest room for about 5 hours just trying to give him space, go out to the living room so i can call my mom with his phone (my phone had died and he broke the charger by accident during the first fight) i saw he was sleeping so i had just grabbed his phone to call my mom, and noticed he had changed his password and took my face id out of his phone. this obviously caused an even bigger argument, he had told me he just wants his privacy back and took have a normal relationship again, he said that i either trust him fully or i don’t trust him at all and he does want to be in a relationship without trust, going back on the earlier topic, he’s cheated on me, as recently as april of 2024, trust is earned not given, and i can’t just trust him fully without having anything to base it on, he’s been loyal since april, i will give him that, he’s been slowly but surely building up my trust again but i can’t say i trust him 100% that’s just dumb for me if i did. he says he wants to make the relationship work, but he says he’s not happy in our relationship because i have no trust in him, may i say again, is his fault, i’ve been loyal. throughout our whole relationship. he doesn’t go through my phone, EVEN THOUGH i’ve told him 1000000 times he has free access to my phone at any point in time. i don’t feel like it’s possible for me to just trust him and forget and forgive everything he’s done to me in the past without being able to have that clarity to go through his phone and make sure nothing is going on, skipping to the end, he “let me have my way” changed his password back and put my face id in, i understand fully where he’s coming from, but that’s a lot to ask from me. every time i go through his phone (maybe once a month) a tiny bit of trust comes back to me bc i have the clarification he’s not doing anything to ease my mind. i feel like the asshole because i want him to be happy and i do understand he is just and entitled to privacy as i am. but i also feel like this is the only way i can continue to build trust with him.

ps. i really don’t want to see those comments of “just leave him he’s unfaithful anyway” unfortunately this is my life and my relationship and honestly you can’t say that if you haven’t lived it. i’m in a situation where i can’t leave, nor do i have any desire to. i just want advice, and how to get over this situation, it’s been four days of stress and so many emotions, ive barley been able to get through a shift without breaking down feeling like my relationship is ending. i love him, and i feel so bad i ruined his surprise, although now i don’t see that happening for a while again.

Before I begin this, I just want to say that my main language isn’t English, so there may be a few writing mistakes and I will be using fake names. So I and a friend of mine James are being pushed out of a friend group of about 6 people us not included. For you to know everything we need to go back about a year. The friend group was really different we were with 7 people but two of them left the group and another one went to another school. James only joined the group this year because he came from another school. The root of the problems started last year when Noah and Brooklyn broke up I don’t know why they broke up because they both didn’t want to tell me but Noah told James. So last year with me no issues but then suddenly this year Noah started to bully me and James. I don’t know why he started to bully us suddenly. So because of the bullying from him, we started to distance ourselves from the friend group. Which caused us to hang out more with Brooklyn and that seems to make Noah even angrier. For example, saying that James is going to cheat on his girlfriend with Brooklyn. I don’t think she knows about the things that are happening because she is in another school. Now Noah is trying to guilt trip us back into the friend group. But, I got a feeling that Noah lied about the story of the breakup to James and that he knows the true reason they broke up. James is now like we have to stay with Brooklyn but I don’t know what to do because I don’t know the reason why they broke up. So I am going to ask James what the reason was they broke up. What else am I supposed to do? 

I (23 F) am trying to get my life back. I’ve always invested in others and never myself. I’m overweight and don’t feel great within myself. For background, I have an amazing salary that most 23 year olds don’t touch this soon in their career. I have friends and family that support me so it’s not that I don’t have a support system. I’m in one of my very first healthy relationships and am happy in it. All of these external things don’t reflect my inner self. I have crippling anxiety and depression. I am currently in therapy and it’s helping. I’m starting to go to the gym trying to eat better but with the small accomplishments I’m still not feeling any joy. I’m genuinely concerned that I won’t ever get that inner peace I’m trying to find. I got off of sertraline 6 months ago bc I became a zombie. I have no hobbies and don’t know how to go about finding one. I don’t know how I have these great outlets but I still feel empty. I don’t want to revert back to medication bc I want to be better without it. Any advise?

I'm a high school sophomore. Last year I took 6 AP classes: Calculus AB, Micro & Macroeconomics, Gov, Physics 1, Biology, and CSA. I got 5s on all of my exams, and I finished 9th with a 5.0.

I also received the PVSA Gold, basketball MVP award, received a best econ student award, qualified for a state debate tournament, and tutored in algebra and pre-cal.

This year I have 7 ap classes: BC, World, Comp Gov, Physics 2, Chem, Lang, and Stats.

I still tutor. I haven't done a single debate tournament, I don't volunteer even when I've made plans to do so, and I didn't even go to try-outs for basketball. My parents are high-achievers, and their families from where they're from were really prominent. I've always felt the need to do my best and inspire others in the process.

My older brother played video games, didn't study, joined clubs centered around health because his friends did, and proceeded to major in computer science only to fail all of his cs-related courses at a super expensive college. I don't want to be like him.

How do I get out of this rut? At the state debate tournament, I went up against high school senior debaters and only won one round. It was awful. There's still time in the season. No one is going to help me, but I just can't help myself do what I should do.

I don't have time for basketball, and I can't face my coach anymore.

My parents don't say anything, and I feel like they've given up on me because my brother is more important. They're never there to push me forward, so all I do is on my own terms and for my future. I'm not meeting the standard I've set for myself because I'm a coward.

My friends all think that they don't need to work hard. So many people don't get the education that we have access to, and to not act in light of that is a waste.

Don't tell me that I'm overthinking or worrying too much because if I've peaked in freshman year, I will actually [redacted].

How do I start achieving again so that when this stuff really matters, when the skills and rapport you get from doing all of these things is actually relevant, I'm not left behind as a loser?

Hey guys, I’m a practicing Muslim and I don’t want to have casual relationships.

I never had issues with the other gender, quite the opposite, but I don’t know anyone that has married while in college personally, so I’m refraining of trying to get to know anyone yet. I’m really interested in doing so tho, as I think it’ll improve me and be a reason to strive even further

What are your experiences and what do you advice?

TW: Slight mention to CSA.

Hi, I hope you are well.

I (30F)'m single and have never cheated on any of my exes. Ever.

After some experiences, I realised that love and long-term relationships are not necessarily the same thing. Sometimes two people love each other but are not very good for each other romantically speaking. Also, I might not be well-equipped to commit to someone long term without always having one foot out of the door, in case things go wrong and to maintain my independence.

I've become rather emotionally unavailable. I think I've always been. My first experience was with a married man 20 years older than me, then with a wonderful girl who had an alcoholism problem and who I knew was not compatible, and then situationships and one night adventures with beautiful girls in job trips. This way there's no chance for anyone to get hurt, and neither do I. I rarely like anyone, anyway. I'm in my early 30s and I've only been with two people. Been = all the way.

I've done a great work with boundary setting. I've never been with a married person again, I came clean to his wife and I haven't slept with anyone in the last 4 years.

My dad used to do things to me in bed, so I've rarely had any penetration with boys, and I can't help but feel switch off in bed also with girls, even though I'm way more attracted to them. This is one of the reasons why I also think it's best to stay away from romantic relationships; I don't think I can give people what they need sexually.

Sometimes I meet people that I know are attracted to me. If I can't reciprocate, I make it as obvious as I can, softly and compassionately. Sometimes they still insist, give me affection and want to get intimate, and then I just can't help but letting go and kiss them and cuddle them.

I've been quite alone in life for pretty long. I'm used to doing things by myself, maintaining myself financially and have been both disappointed and a disappointment to others. Romantic love to me equals expectations and pain, a lot of pain, and sometimes making the wrong decision for a feeling that is temporary and most often than not unsustainable and incompatible with a long-term relationship.

I get a lot of attention both from boys and girls, and I worry that every time I meet someone beautiful inside I will fuck it up by getting intimate even though I don't want to be with anyone long term.

I don't want to take away that precious time and attention that they could be investing on someone who might want to commit to them. But I also need and crave their affection, as long as they don't give me and request of me too much time and attention.

I wondered if you had gone through a similar experience an could provide some word of advice.

Thank you.

My husband (45M) and I (36F) have been together for 14 years and married for almost 7. We have two little boys, 3 and 1. Last year I discovered an emotional affair between my husband and a coworker (24F) of his. To my knowledge there was nothing physical based on both of them (not that it makes it better), I had contact with the girl and did my share of snooping and feel confident in the evidence I gained. He also has a porn problem. We have done therapy on and off but haven’t been back since my discoveries nor is he open to it. Every time I confront him or want to talk about it, he gets defensive and flees the conversation with no inclination to revisit it. He will give me the silent treatment for days on end. He’s definitely an avoidant attachment style and I’m more of an anxious attachment style. I feel like I’m doing my best to take responsibility for the issues in our marriage but he is not and threatens divorce but never actually serves me. My question is, should I continue to fight for the marriage or should we end things? I have hope still and don’t want to end things, but I also don’t want to walk on eggshells forever wondering if he’s going to leave me. I want him to admit where he was wrong and commit to what he’s going to change. I feel like if we split we have much more to lose than gain, but I’m not sure if he feels the same. I feel heartbroken and grieving but I still want to fight for him. Any similar stories would be great to hear. I dont want to leave him. How do I proceed?

This is a bit of a tricky one. But I’m feeling very guilty and I’m not sure why. I’ll explain more.

I worked as an electrical engineer. We work on specialised equipment for the manufacturing sector. Companies send their equipment to us for repair, we are not internal. I now have left this role approximately 1 year ago.

One piece of equipment came in with a very tiny defect which was technically cosmetic only. The functions and quality of the equipment was otherwise fine. Due to the cost of having to order parts vs the cost of the units replacement, we told our client that it was not worth the repair.

The client then gets the choice to have their equipment returned, or have it disposed of. Disposal includes putting electrical waste into the correct bin and there is no intention for reuse of the kit.

Now, there’s not really an exact policy in place for items that are trashed. But the general consensus is that if we want to make use of these items then no harm; they were to be thrown anyway.

So, I took this equipment with me, did some further testing, determined it was operational and decided to list it for sale.

In the companies mind, this was an item that was sent for disposal. From the clients side, this was an item for them to write off and class as disposed of.

Cut to a year later: I now sold this item for $5k, which is perfect timing as I really needed the cash. But I just can’t shake the guilty feeling. I guess it’s part guilt that it feels in some way ‘stolen’ even though technically not. I feel like it’s cheated the system, or cheated someone at least. I feel like a bad person and I’m not sure what to do about it.

I’m usually very honest, never steal, never lie and cheat my way into money. So, maybe this is just a step close enough in that direction that it feels wrong?

I’d love some advice on how to put myself at ease with this one. Everything was fine up until the moment of actually selling hit.

me and my boyfriend texted as normal yesterday i went to sleep whilst he drank, i woke up at 2am to a text of him asking me if i was awake, he then sent a picture of his table smashed up with a hatchet. we talked a while and had a phone call but throughout this conversation he was being vaguely suicidal and i tried my best to comfort and reassure him that he can be open about his feelings and communicate them; and furthermore he should forward these feelings to his therapist in his next session. i havent heard from him since 5am this morning its now 7pm, im really concerned and freaking out, am i being irrational?

tl;dr boyfriend hasnt texted since concerning drunk texts/call.

I am the program lead at a shelter. I have an employee who has been acting very cold towards me recently. When I walk into her office (she shares it with another employee) just to shoot the shit, she does not engage. She focuses on her work. Whenever we're alone in the office, she'll do anything not to be alone with me. She'll leave to focus on work in shelter or go take her break. She's sometimes kind of rude to me, too. Very aggressive in tone.

It's hard bc we just got a new office space and everyone is scattered, so I feel isolated and uncomfortable. If other employees come by, she strikes up convos with them and is friendly, It's hard to watch, bc she doesnt treat me like that anymore. She still comes to me for supervisory needs, but it's very negatively impacting my mental health; and I would argue this dynamic is bad for morale.

I do know why she's pissed. One of my clients abandoned her kids and cat at shelter; we took care of the kids. We asked this employee if she wanted to hold onto the cat for a weekend while we figure out what to do. Unfortunately, there was no answer, so a weekend turned into 4 months of her watching the cat. We originally made the cat an office cat, but one employee kept having allergic reactions, so employee took it upon herself to bring the cat home.

The client came back and demanded it back (ESA). The original gameplan was to have the local PD bring the cat to the humane society, so that the client could properly reunite with cat. There were too many complications with the plan, so I just drove the cat directly back to the client. I did this without consulting the employee; I did not feel a need to divulge my choice to her. I did, however, consult with my direct supervisor.

I can admit, I had a very strong (but toxic) connection with this client. But also, there were no other options when PD didnt show up. And regardless, as a supervisor, there needs to be a level of respect for my decisions.

I think my employee is being very immature by not coming to me. She found out (Im assuming) through other coworkers (she had a remote day when I brought the cat back). She clearly has no intentions on talking to me, So, how do I broach this topic with her? My supervisor and I were considering tag teaming this because the disrespect is not acceptable. But are there any other steps to take before that?

Hello all!

(4 minute read)

I have a friend called A. (Im a girl) We are both 15. He's a boy, with a strong personality, im almost sure he's a narcassist.

We became friends one and a half year ago. He has a girlfriend called O. First A and O were best friends. I had issues with toxic friends in 8'th grade so i decided to hang out with them, they were pretty good friends but i know you understand why i didn't feel good around them. I just felt left out.

Once we were hanging out at O's house, he had his hand over her shoulders, i sat next to them. And we have this thing where we bite each other and i bit his finger slightly and he hit me i almost started crying. I forgave him.

We had an english lesson and i said something stupid in class (i didn't know what we were talking about) and he laughted at me so hard i almost cried in class. I forgave him again, but both times i was very hurt.

Then A and O got together and i felt happy cause finally i could be his bsf. Oh well i thought while being his bfs i also would have the attention aswell. So stupid from me lol. I even felt more left out. I settled for less and it was okay.

Freshmen year, we went to different schools, we were texting. That was finally a good era. I had attention and i felt great in our friendship. We video chatted a lot, he talks really much and im a good listener BUT SOMETIMES IT SO DRAINING LIKE PLEASE SHUT UP. 75% he was talking and i was listening. Time went by like that.

In May i finally felt i can tell him that last year i didn't really feel well next to them and he got mad that " i should have told them then and why now cause youre making me look like a bad friend". The reason i didn't say anything, because I didn't want to bother their relationship with "omg i feel left out please NOTICE im here" I felt so crappy after that and started to put the fault on me cause it made sence what he said.

This early june, he had a lot to do, dance competitions, piano exams, and school. He also had family issues going on, he didn't communicated with me at all.(He told me 3 month later so thats how i know) It hurt me so much i dont even know why, for such a foolish reason. He didn't have time for me that happens like... But after all i felt abandoned.

June, July, August i was thinking the whole time that i will finally make a dot at the end of the story, i dont really want him in my life. In July i tolt him i felt abandoned and why does he not have time for me (literally 3minutes a day to write hello am i asking for too much?). He told me that "Im his best friends and he loves me so much and i mean a lot to him". At this point i really think he's just scared that he wont have friends beside me (im the closest to him, and O aswell). He has issues with other people and cant open up easily. After 3 month i finally feel the most de-attached since ages. If i leave this friendship ill leave him in the sh*t. (I dont know how much he talks with O but i wouldn't call it a relationship when you barely talk and meet one time in 3 month).

You know, I honestly think i love him too much, and i dont even know if im in love with him or not, maybe im just touch-starved. Sometimes i even tought about him way to much... He's totally okay with skincontact with me (sitting next to each other close with our legs touching. O is flexible in this topic, so it doesn't bother her (as far as i know🥹)

And after all the time i felt hurt by him I don't know why i didn't left him sooner. My friendship with O was good and we got along together, but after changing schools we lost touch.

Like is it a thing where you're secretly in love but your own mind silences this thing? I caught myself thinking about more romantic stuff with him.

When i think about him i feel angry and sad at the same time i dont know what to do in this situation, can please someone give me advice? I would be so thankful🫶🏻🫶🏻

My parents divorced when i was 11. My dad and older brother abandoned us. My mom is always criticizing me. My other brother is abusing me. And i have financial problems since forever. Im 22 (m) and the drama still doesnt end. Others in my age are marrying and are earning good money and im still stuck.

As the youngest child i didnt get any attention, love or real affection. It takes a real toll on me. Additionally i cant form any romantic relationship whatsoever. Im actually a very enthusiastic, kind, fun and disciplined person on the outside. But feel like internally bleeding all the time. I go gym, work, college, praying, everything. But I still feel unworthy. How am I supposed to build a healthy family one day without creating any toxicity. I want to become a good husband and dad who treats their family kind unconditionally and consistently.

I feel like giving up. I give positivity to the world and i only get more burden in return. And the pressure to graduate college doesn’t make this any better.

What am i supposed to do? Please help

(To be fair I have a close circle of friends I can choose to vent this to but I think it's never gotten this personal and heavy for me to feel good even venting to them, so resorting to a subreddit of all things is my only other choice.)

My dad has been going through arthritis recently, which my family has been handling for a good while with the way my mom has been helping him on finding the right treatments and physiotherapy to spend on, which of course takes a while to heal completely overtime but I do feel bad seeing no permanent improvement just yet after many countless things my mom tried to do and no matter how much better days he's had he still suffers it anyway.

The problem here is how much his condition has been affecting his mental state, and it doesn't go well with the unfortunate timing that my mom has been booked and busy having to constantly travel and be out the house for days to attend to plans with her family of origin, which really doesn't help with his impatience and has led him to think my mom is neglecting him. I can't entirely blame my mom either because she's still also booked and busy with her side of her family (i.e. house renovation, spending time with her sister who has come back to the country for the first time in so long), and it's not like she's not doing any effort to help my dad at all, it's not entirely her fault she always has a lot on her hands to juggle and it's hard on both sides which I try to empathize with.

I know I have to tolerate and understand my dad's behavior and mental state not being the best due to his condition but sometimes it gets to a point, I know no one obviously asked nor wants him to be sick and it's totally out of anyone's control this happened but it pains me to see his mindset towards it with as much as I know his pain sucks I can only wish he gets better so I don't have to watch him slowly become a whole different person because of it.

This night, my mom had just gotten back home from an overnight trip from her hometown, this isn't the first time this month she's been asked by her sister to tag along in unrelated errands, so even in the moment she came back my dad was obviously not in his best attitude towards her knowing this isn't the first time she had to be out the house for unrelated reasons.

His temper and patience had wore thin to the point he started swearing and yelling at her, saying stuff like he wouldn't care if we'd leave and whatnot. Then as if it wasn't any worse in doing so, I witnessed him walk to the kitchen to presumably take out a knife and threaten her, causing my mom and his sister/my aunt from my dad's side to panic and scold at him for it, leading to my mom crying in the other room and making my aunt intervene and be the one to talk it out to him. (I couldn't really see if he did pull out a knife because I was in my room but he was def holding something and it's my only idea for why they panicked).

I had never felt this shaken up until that moment because I never expected things to get that bad, I felt like wanting to hide in my room or cover my eyes and ears and hope it doesn't escalate, it was there my preexisting burden started to hit harder for being unable to do anything in this household. I've always been concerned of his mental state deteriorating and these were the type of situations I dreaded to see

Thankfully he didn't actually do anything with the knife nor did I think he would've even had the balls or intention to actually hurt any of us. My dad has NEVER been the type of man to get this aggressive nor hurt his own family physically, no matter how much his temper goes off verbally sometimes he was still always genuinely a good man trying to live and that it's just his mental state that was acting for him at that time, I still personally feel like that part of his arthritis would've been easier to deal based on his mindset.

I'd be lying if I say part of me also lowkey hates how my mom constantly being booked and busy outside the house made him think she's neglecting him, I get my dad's complaints that if she can have the time for her sisters she might as well allot time to helping him and how she should manage her priorities better, but also my dad can't seem to grasp how she's also trying her best to find the right medications and treatments right now. They're both as stubborn in my eyes.

I really do my best to empathize both sides like I said but sometimes I think I'm also as complicit in holding them back. I'm still 19 in college dependent on my family and have my own personal mental health issues I prefer to keep to myself and don't take out on, but it makes me wonder if that's not an excuse and I should regret being too incompetent to give my own contribution in helping my family, At this point I'm starting to wish I could be the one doing something when my mom's not available so things like these don't have to happen. I really don't know what I can do as a witness whose indirectly getting affected by all this

All of my hobbies are mostly partaken by males. Gaming (Strategy and RPGs which are famously maidenless), Archiving, Music study, history and more. It's all for men it seems. How do I meet women, who are interested in similar stuff that I am?

So my ex and I have been together for now 5 years and I found out that he’s been cheating on me this relationship for almost the whole entire time. I found out that he was cheating on me last year, he told me that they were just being used and they meant nothing to him but he was only committed to me and loved me only. He stated that he was just using the girls he was just playing around them, but he was definitely being more intimate and even slept with a few of them. I was completely devastated when I found out about this and I found out that he is very manipulative he only thinks about himself and he never thought about anybody else’s feelings. Then he has discovered the swinger lifestyle that he’s been interested in, convincing me to try it with him but it’s not my thing at all and I do not like it. He bought a guy for me a few months ago and they tried to do things but I shut everything down because I was starting to feel very uncomfortable it just was not me. Even after he confessed that he has cheated I gave him another chance thinking that people would change but I was wrong and yet he is still connected with these girls and still talk to them he said he doesn’t know how to let go of them because there’s a past. I feel the same way now stuck with him and I just don’t know how to let go he said that we can be FWB but I don’t think I can do that knowing I want a committed relationship with just 2 people and not going out with others. I have tried to leave in the past but my emotions get to me and then he would message me and try to meet me and then we end up getting back together. He’s great at manipulating and of course I fall into it cause I am emotional person. I have emotionally been checked out but my heart doesn’t seem to let go, what should I do should I remain friends with this person without any benefits or she just cut all ties? Can you even be friends with a cheating ex and remain civil? I need some advice guys.

my dad is kicking me out tmmrw, what are some absolute necessities that i should pack for when he does? (i’m a 19y F) I have a friend i can stay with, i’m currently $750 in cc debt and i think i have .30 in my account ngl, i started a new job and im in training still so i only get 7.25 an hour (it’s a serving job) until i finish. so i won’t really be getting any money until a few weeks. i also start spring semester (community college) tomorrow in which i have no financial aid, i still need to pay for those classes, should i take out a loan and also where should i get one, im so confused right now and i just need some advice.

(TW, r*ped mentioned) So my sister always made terrible decisions especially when it comes to her ex-boyfriend, she always chose him over her family even though he was verbally abusive and cheated on her more than 3 times.

When she broke up with him she never blocked him and would still talked to him even when my family told her not to because he was a bad influence on her, but she never listened and they would fight all the time, now she finds out she’s pregnant and he r*ped her 5 weeks ago.

Now my dad is mad and told my mom and sister not to come home and that he’s moving out and wants a divorce, cause he’s tired of her making huge mistakes over and over, a few years ago she dropped out of university because of said ex-boyfriend and costed him over a 100 thousand dollars and she didn’t care she only cared about her ex and there relationship, and would always ask for money and my mom would cave in and give it to her because she’s tired of arguing with my sister and her making my mom cry.

She was never grateful and still isn’t and idk what to do now and she splitting our family apart because of her choices.

I could really use advice on what to do.