Rules

In general. Also, does it heavily matter who it is?

We often have large family gatherings. One of my parents will often make remarks about what I'm doing like....you're not having dessert?! Why aren't you playing the game? You need to sit down and relax. Come sit over here, that's not comfortable.

Is this typical behavior for a parent in your opinion? I don't feel like this is good social skills but maybe that's my anxiety speaking.

Hi just wanted to know what’s the norm when you buy a home and move out ? my cousin bought a new home and moved out of the neighborhood and never informed me. felt a lil jolt when she posted on whatsapp son going to a diff school.. should I ask her or just keep quiet 🤫

Whenever I'm talking to someone or myself, I always have pauses in my head because I want to convey my thoughts as accurately as possible. So, I'll usually cycle through many vocabularies or different ways to say it in my head, causing my speech to be kind of broken?

E.g.

• I want... would like... to eat ice cream now.
• What are you doing... gonna do later?

I have... I had this problem for so long... for many years already. I have yet to solve it. Can someone help me or for those who experienced the same and solved it, I need help... no... uhh... help me? GAH!

The usual advice is to just blurt out whatever you have in your head but I tried that but it just sounds bad... sounds really messy. The best thing I've tried is when I don't... I'm not overthinking that day for some reason. Days like those feel like heaven.

Have you given help to someone that you 100% didn’t want to? Would you do it again?

I noticed that when I start connecting with folks and a conversation picks up momentum, I get really excited and kinda dominate the conversation. I also tend to relate to what people are saying by giving examples in my own life which kinda steers the conversation back to me. I'll sometimes notice in the moment and try to ask a question or leave more space for people but then the convo peaks my interest again and I'm back at it. Any tips for reminding yourself to leave more space in conversations?

I’ve been doing online school all high school but I think I have to go to in person school now and school starts in 2 weeks.

I HATE my high school. It’s so big, I’m not joking when I say it’s the size of a shopping mall. I genuinely don’t know what to do and just thinking about going to in person school is giving me a panic attack!!!

I don’t want to go up and start a conversation if I need help finding my classes. I don’t want to look like a chicken without its head as I wonder the halls looking for my classes. I do r want people to look at me EVER!!! I don’t know what to do! Maybe if I beg hard enough the school will let me do online school again!

I have this weird thing about me where I’m actually incredibly sardonic, misanthropic and hateful but I feel the immense pressure to not have people be mad at me. Make this make sense

Don't know if this is useful but for some background, I'm in my early 20s and I got the good old anxiety/depression combo. Didn't have many friends growing up and I'm usually just stuck in my room. In the past most of my friendships have been online and recently I've started noticing a trend in my actions in regards to my communication skills, specifically with confronting someone in a mature way. The usual cycle is usually me getting annoyed at something they did and I would either tell them and it would end in a fight or I would hold it in to keep the peace and eventually build so much resentment that I ghost them. I've matured a lot lately and I see the many faults in this cycle. I realized that ghosting people sucks and it was basically me running away from the difficult conversations that need to be had for the friendship to blossom. I want to learn to communicate in a mature, constructive, and friendly way that leads to solutions or compromises. I also want to learn how to not overcommunicate issues 24/7 since I've done this in the past and the other person would become frustrated. I also want to learn how to be less sensitive since I think this is one of the core issues I have that leads to the cycle. Sorry for the long post, any help is super appreciated!

Why do I feel out of place everywhere? l I don't feel very liked, ofc people tolerate me because they are really nice and sweet but I don't have a meaningful bond with any of them. I know its my fault, I tried changing my ways but I feel like im doing everything wrong. How do you even create bonds and relationships? I tried to leave, no one came to the hospital to see me, the only person who came was my mom. I deserved it, but since then I feel like I've grown, but did anyone even notice? I even stopped taking pills, which was the hardest thing I've ever done. I want people to be proud of me but I feel like I disappoint them every time. Maybe I should stop caring about what others think, but I.want at least one good relationship. I never had a friend group and I blame myself for that, I should have tried sooner to join some group. I feel like its too late for me and I don't have anyone that would help me, because no one really knows how I feel. I like the people that I see everyday and I want some bond but maybe im just not meat to have a friend idk

I (20f) am an autistic woman who has no social life and a total of six friends, two of which are the only ones I see at my school and who are my teachers. The other four are mainly online, with the exception of one who comes back home whenever she gets the chance. The school I go to have other students who are not really able to converse. I yearn for an friend group I can hangout with, a partner that I can enjoy things with. At the same time I like being by myself, only my family being near. The idea of being out in public, getting up and going out making me feel sad and tired. I want to change this so, so bad but I also don't. Most of the time I'm comfortable with how things are, other times I'm incredibly depressed a sluggish when I have these urges. It's not like I don't want to go out, to go talk to people and be active and enjoy life, I tell myself that I'm going to do something but end up not doing it because I see it as not worthwhile. I'd much rather sleep than do whatever I had planned. Typing this out has made me exhausted. I don't know what to do, I'm constantly changing between these two mindsets and it's only making things worse. I need help, and therapy has only done so much for me.

On text I’m funny engaging entertaining, in real life I’m quiet asf and can’t hold a conversation

I live in a religious Muslim household and I’m forced to cover up. I hate being around people and I hate socializing because of it. Going out makes me so comfortable and I’m staying home all the time because of it but I’m losing social skills and I barely have a social life. I hate that I’m wasting my years this way and I don’t know what to do.

Okay, so this health teacher always goes on about looking after her kids and not thinking straight, she often says that she feels stressed and is just in a bad mood. Why she told students this? Idk. Now, I said quietly to my friends that she looked stressed and tired, and should get more sleep or take a break. Now there’s this gossiper in the class, I won’t name her but I will say she talks too much. She always brags on about doing some private things with her boyfriend (good for her but I don’t wanna know what happens behind closed doors.) She constantly cuts people off, gets into drama with her friend and says she’ll block her but never does (I half hear things because i don’t care much, but I’m stuck with her on the train and feel too nervous to set a boundary with her because she may just get mad at me and I don’t know what she’ll do after that) She cuts me off constantly during conversations and does not stop talking about her life after that until a teacher stops her. She dismisses when others are talking and gives unnecessary advice when no one asked then will boss everyone around. I usually don’t say anything but she really pissed me off when going at me in front of the class and loudly, o said I was just being honest but she cut me off and said “it’s so rude to say that about a teacher omg” Maybe it was, but I tend to be blunt and’p not realise. I’m more worried about the teacher if she feels venting to us is okay. But this girl in my class kept lecturing me until I snapped and told her to shut up and stop picking. Basically, I want advice How do I deal with this?

Trying to make some friends as an introvert and most people I ask say that the best way to make friends is to get involved in some activity where you see the same people regularly.

Can you share some activities that have worked for you to be able to make friends?

Let me just say that I do have ADHD and I’m antisocial high does affect the way I communicate. Im looking to enhance my communication with my partner & in general he to build a stronger, healthier relationship. What specific social skills or techniques have you found to be effective in expressing yourself clearly, listening actively, and handling conflicts? I’d appreciate any advice on how to better connect and communicate in a meaningful way.

My friend made a joke about me showing cleavage (I usually dress conservative) so I played back by pushing my boobs up (with clothes on). Her friend in the room came out & pushed me towards a wall which caused me my head to hit the wall very hard. She also did the same towards a window. She’s an athlete so she’s very strong. She said she did this cause her man was in the room (I didn’t see him as he was in the corner & I was in the hallway doorway not faced in his direction). My guy best friend sat back & laughed even though he’s been adamant for years for me to not touch people. I feel like it’s always double standards. He said it was a joke but I’ve never been treated like that by anyone & I feel as though he should’ve stepped in & pulled her off of me since he was standing there, but instead he stood right there beside her laughing. I tried to bring this up to him as to why I felt it was time for me to let go of my friendship with him, and instead he’s gaslighting me as if I wasn’t attacked & that I’m cutting him off for no reason. The double standards have been going on for a while & I’ve felt for a while that I needed to let go but the bullying antics were the final straw. We’ve been having bad arguments for 5 months, I think it’s time to let go.

I have one friend who I have been friends with for a few years now, though in the past couple of years we have drifted apart - they are often busy and don’t put much effort in to maintain friendships - they tend to rely on others. I’m also realising that we don’t have a whole lot in common anymore. However I do see them sometimes and still get on with them for the most part. But I’ve found that in group settings I don’t like them so much, but I want to know if this is me being overly sensitive. I find that often in a group setting, where a decision is to be made, they often get their way, and they do this in quite a subtle way. Whether that is they have suggested doing something and I have suggested doing something else, or they simply don’t want to do what I have suggested. The way they tend to achieve this is by speaking on behalf of other people eg, if I suggest doing x, they will say ‘ I don’t think anyone wants to do that’, or if they want to do something and I suggest an alternative, they will say ‘well we are doing this but you can go and do that by yourself if you want’. And I find that other people in these settings will go along with them when they are being spoken for. I find it quite annoying as often the tone taken is one that is a bit smug and almost belittling, particularly when it’s something I’ve suggested and they don’t want to do it, and they say things in a way that makes me seem like the difficult or confrontational person, when actually it just feels like I don’t get a chance to ask others without them being spoken for. They’re the kind of person that I would not be able to confront over anything as they would not engage with a conversation about anything I brought up that I was upset with. Am I overly sensitive or do I have a reason to be bothered? (Aware that minimal context is provided here)

in conversations, i have no clue how to respond to any type of emotion. sad? i have no idea what to say beyond "oh, that sucks, i'm sorry". excited?? people always assume i'm bored or uninterested because i don't interject beyond saying "oh, cool!" or "lol yeah". the number of times i've been told "if you don't like me, just say so!" and been so confused because i just genuinely have no idea what to say. in person i'm okay because then body language and facial expressions help, but over text, i'm so hopeless. it's to the point where i find texting incredibly draining, but it's an expectation to maintain relationships, especially during non-school months. eventually, i just kind of stop reading messages, and then people get annoyed with the fact i'm not answering. does anyone else have this problem, and what do you do about it??

Just curious …

That’s not to say that I don’t already have some people I interact with on a regular basis, it’s just that I’d like to expand that circle. I’m a bit awkward as I’m slightly socially inept. I know I gotta keep trying, but I need some new angles to work. How do I maintain interest in someone’s hobbies? Like not in doing them but show them that even though I’m not into what they are, that I enjoy very much that they enjoy it. It seems a lot of people can’t believe I enjoy hearing them just talk about what they like without liking it myself. Anyone have any tips?

It was my birthday yesterday, I usually upload something to my close friends list on my birthday like a countdown or a birthday cake as a heads up

I only do it in my close friends because I don’t care about getting birthday wishes from acquaintances/ strangers as much as from people I’m close with

Granted not all of the people in my close friends are my best friends, but no one there is a stranger

Still, some of the people there mean a lot to me and it hurts getting ignored like this. I don’t know if this counts as getting ignored because it’s not like I messaged any of them directly

I mostly feel embarrassed because I posted something about myself and nobody cared. I feel embarrassed because I don’t know how to approach people and tell them about my birthday so I have to post about it hoping they’ll notice

But above all I just don’t understand the logic behind this. I never ignore it when a friend posts about their birthday without saying anything. I’m confused even more about just likes, it feels very impersonal and weird

Is that a thing people do? It’s hard for me to understand this

Well im 23 right now and i don't have any friends right now I feel so good rn because my old friends dont bother me anymore They were really mean and insulted my interests I really feel better since im done with all of them I knew them for almost 8 years Is this normal ? Im really have fun when im alone

i'm 22(f) and i find myself having a very niche + specific sense of humor. i've had friends that really love my jokes and find me funny, as i really know how to put on a crazy presentation sometimes. but i really struggle reciprocating that energy and rarely laugh at others when they make jokes back. i don't find most people my age funny and want to expand on my humor to laugh and bond with others. i don't want to fake laugh, but i have friends that say they can tune into others' sense of humor to connect. just wanted to ask and see if anyone has any tips on how to do this better, to be more understanding of others overall.

I have the inexplicable urge to go up to people who appear wealthy (their style, the brands of their clothing, fancy watch, car, etc) or even go to the doors of big fancy houses and just ask what they did to end up that wealthy.

How weird is that? Or do you think they’d care?

I went to a college 2.5 hours from home mainly because my friend from high school convinced me to go there with him. I don’t like my roommate he is really weird and quiet and doesn’t want to do anything. My friends never text me first and feel like my friend who is at the same college is ghosting me. This has been an awful and lonely first week in college. How do I make any friends as an introvert after I spent years making a handful of friends who no longer talk to me?

I feel like I've always had a bit of an issue with understanding when people are being serious and when they're not, but it's never really been that much of a bother until now.

Recently I started realizing just how often me and a certain friend of mine have misunderstandings, but they're just on my end, because I'm trying to figure out whether he's being serious with me or not.

I have tried talking to him about it, and from his point of view he hates explaining to people when he is serious and expects people to just know when he is. He also refuses to use any sort of code word for me to understand, and pretty much won't go along with anything I tried to offer in order to make this easier on me. I often leave conversations with him frustrated because I don't know what he wants from me or how to respond.

Is there anything I can do in this situation to understand him better?

A bit of background about myself—I like to think of myself as a generous, cheerful, and thoughtful person. I’ve always performed well academically and held leadership roles in university societies. Due to these qualities, I’ve often found myself naturally assuming a leadership role among my peers. Friends frequently turn to me for help, advice, and guidance, and I’ve always embraced this role willingly, offering my support to colleagues, friends, and even acquaintances, as long as it’s within my capacity.

However, recent experiences have led me to question whether my efforts to help others are being reciprocated. There have been a few incidents that have made me reconsider this aspect of my personality.

1. I was on vacation in another country with a close friend. I didn’t know that I needed to activate foreign transactions beforehand with my new bank. When I attempted to pay at a restaurant, my card was immediately frozen for suspected fraudulent activity. All my holiday funds were in that account, and I couldn’t access them without personally calling the bank for verification. Unfortunately, I hadn’t purchased a roaming plan that would allow me to make overseas calls. I turned to my friend for help but they merely glanced at me, shrugged their shoulders and continued texting their friends.

2. When I started my new job, I had a colleague who began on the same day. I’m a quick learner and managed to grasp the IT systems fairly quickly. My colleague was struggling, so I spent an hour walking him through the system and helping him get up to speed. However, when I asked him for help later that day with something similar, he simply replied, “I don’t know,” without even looking up from his computer screen. I was frustrated so I decided not to offer any more help for the rest of the day, but I eventually gave in and guided him again when I saw how unproductive he was becoming.

3. I was feeling very sick at a restaurant and asked a friend if they could quickly get some medicine for me from a nearby pharmacy. I was already visibly pale at that point but they declined as they were “starving”. I ended up leaving the restaurant, buying the medication myself and never returned.

These incidents, among others, have left me feeling disheartened. It’s not that I expect people to have all the answers or to solve my problems instantly, but I do hope for a willingness to help and a genuine effort to contribute. I’ve always been the type of person who would drop whatever I’m doing to help someone in need if it only takes a few minutes, and I had hoped others around me would do the same. I’m now at crossroads. I’m unsure if this is merely a difference in personality or if it’s a reflection of unhelpful behaviour. I don’t like the idea of turning a cold shoulder to those who are struggling, but I can’t help feeling disappointed when others don’t offer me the same courtesy when I’m in need.

Please advise as I really don’t know if it’s just me being petty

I think I'm just a quiet person anyway but when it comes to interacting with others my mind be playing tricks on me I'll mess up what I'm saying. I want to be more engaged with other people but a lot of times I don't know what to say

I (19F) feel like I'm kind of a shitty person. My parents were really controlling when I was little so I learned to survive looking for loopholes, looking out for myself and being inconsiderate to others when doing otherwise could threaten me.

I still look for loopholes to get out of doing stuff I don't want or that could serve me. I'm still inconsiderate, opportunistic, unscrupulous, attention-seeking. I'm late with all my assignments. I'm trying not to be argumentative like my mom was and my roommates don't like me because I was very messy when I first moved on and it took me a while to unlearn that.

I feel like I keep commiting ugly mistakes and they make me into an ugly person. I feel like I'm old enough to know better but also I don't know better. What do I do? How do I learn? I'm a bit of a shut-in so I don't have that many friends.