I took the courage to write here. Maybe this is contributing to the healing process.

33 m here, having an issue with porn since I was 14/15. Intense edging lead to what is today now as gooning, which I practiced before I even knew what it was. Getting into this community made it worse. I was showing myself regularly on cam, and showing myself and getting responses to this was the biggest rush for me. Much more intense than looking at images or videos.

In this community addiction is a topic but is displayed as something positive, which always disturbed me.

I tried to quit for a long time, but never really successful. The biggest streak I had was like 6 months. In this time I had the blessing to meet the person I love. Now, after 8 years of marriage I see a link there.

Lately it got worse and I allowed myself to get deeper and deeper. Somehow my instant regret numbed more and more. Thus I reached to point one night where I realized what I was doing. It all came to me at once how bad all of this is. This world of porn and gooners is not what I am. I am just playing something there. And I certainly don’t want to be a part of that any longer. That was two weeks ago. Yet it came along with PIED, which disappointed me much. I guess it came at the right time to enforce my conviction.

Now feelings of arousal are slowly coming back. That’s why I try to verbalize my thoughts. Reading all of your experiences here helped me a lot. I understand things much better now.

As boredom is a huge problem for me, that’s when I get weak, I am also looking for guys to chat about anything related. Shoot me a message if you want to connect on gooner recovery and your experiences.

We can do this!

I’ve really been thinking enough is enough, addicted to humiliation porn, vaping and just unhealthy lifestyle physically and mentally. I am not over wieght just unhealthy from diet and other stuff. I want to do a 7 day cleanse. Quit smoking quit porn and do a water fast. How hard would it be? I’ve smoked for almost 7 years 2 packs a day and been addicted to porn for just as long. I feel like a failure and so terrible

Quit last august after 8 years of consistent use.

Saw huge physical and mental improvements in terms of sexual performance which were massively encouraging, and a large motivating factor for me again now.

Although I’ve completely lost these this past month and a half since relapsing, so it’s time to get back on the wagon.

Posting on here to keep myself accountable. Frustrated with myself for undoing my hard earned progress but there’s not much point beating myself up over that now as I can’t go back in time and change it!

I’ve been trying to quit porn for quite a while and what i’ve noticed that whenever i meet a girl i’m really interested in i stop having the urge to jerk off or watch porn. Like it automatically makes me feel disgusted of porn. The only problem is that when her and me stop talking i usually go back to porn since i have no one else :(

I deliberately kept myself very active at work today so I didn't spend too much time on my phone. Had a few mild urges today, but nothing major.

I've noticed that I feel mentally stronger and more determined this time oddly enough, even though I've tried to quit probably 100 times before. I've also become more aware of avoiding triggers before they even happen, which is a good tactic to use.

There is a chance that day 3 will be difficult tomorrow, as it has always historically been a day that I relapse on. I'll just keep myself busy and remain focused on my goal of living the Pornfree lifestyle.

Thanks for reading. See you day 3!

Never had crushes on guys in my life, I did get into gay twink porn at some point, the hocd started when I couldn't get aroused by straight porn anymore actually the reason I quit porn I'm worried I won't be able to love a woman.. this sucks.

Last week I made a promise to not MO for 7 days and quit porn for good. Unfortunately I did not reach that goal, I gave in today on day 6. I was so close to reaching my goal, but it seems like I couldn't last a little longer. I need to try harder next time, especially for the day before the end of the streak. I promise to go 7 days without MO, and I'll be quitting porn for good. Instead of porn, I'll reward myself on day 7 using my imagination, and if I fail, I'll donate 20 dollars to my least favorite charity. I'll make sure I won't let you guys down this time.

I'm really close to relapsing right now. I keep telling myself all of the stuff about how its bad and its an addiction and its ruining your brain, but I can feel that I'm gonna break tonight. Does anyone know what I should do?

This is pretty simple idk I take like unfathomable lengths of time during sexual acts to cum and the only parts that keep me hard are the noises or visuals like we get in porn. Will this change? Will sex feel better or is that a real physical issue

I stopped fapping once i once to know it damages me. But i continued porn. Didn't know porn was the bigger enemy. After years i knew it was my main problem. Its my day 11 after deciding to quit porn forever. Thank god🛐

Struggling really hard and sometimes I just wanna stop trying to quit

Struggling with g**ning urges. Really need help. dms open

My New Year’s resolution for 2025 was no porn. I went until the very end of January without masturbating/porn/anything, but I just recently broke the streak the other today without porn, which seems to have rejuvenated my interest in porn/masturbating. Today for whatever reason has been terrible - I was completely unable to stop my urges and gooned 4 TIMES. I feel defeated and like a loser. I don’t even know how I get back on track after this, the last thing I want to is to go back to jerking off to porn every day, it’s fucking depressing.

DISCLAIMER: I am still in the process of this, so it is not by any means guaranteed to work. I will attempt to keep updating this though. So basically, I’ve tried quitting in every way I could think of, but couldn’t stop for more than about 2 weeks. So far this year though, I thought of somthing that so far has worked for me. In the next paragraph(s) I’m going to explain my steps

1. find what your triggers are. For me, I would always have an extreme urge around the time I was showering, going to bed, and first waking up (it sounds really bad when I write it)
2. after identifying triggers, slowly eliminate them. The way I did it, I really have Been taking my time, but to eliminate one trigger per month. In January, I avoided specifically “doing it” around when I was showering. By eliminating triggers, it also will shut down that neuro-pathway, that has the dopamine trigger. Thus, the further in you are (per month at least) the easier it will be. Also, by lessening the amount of dopamine from porn/masturbating, overall, the addiction should overall get weaker.

3)(if possible) if you can resist urges at other times, it should go without saying, but if you are using this method, you shouldn’t have to try way too hard outside of the designated trigger/time-segment. 4) once either all, or most of your triggers have been eliminated, you have a much higher chance of being able to quit easier.

So long story short I have been abstaining from porn completely and masturbation about 90% for 3 and a half years..every conversation with my friends I was spreading the dangers of porn and how it helped me... it cured me sex performance problems and made me have a long beautiful relationship..but recently because of my woman's pregnancy our sex has been reduced drastically and for the first time I started masturbating without porn but pretty often so I could release sexual tension.. then slowly I found my self watching porn scenes without masturbating for few seconds and closing it...fast Forward these 2 weeks I have relapsed two times today and two times a week ago..it's crazy that after so long it's still here...I am extremely disappointed to myself..tell Me all these years progress its not in the bin since I will become a father soon I really wanna go away of this path.. social media and shorts lead to porn since everywhere you see it's nudity

Porn keeps taking over my life..I am trying to stop but would love to have a non-text chat about this as I am really struggling.

Pretty much is in the title, i went 6 weeks PMO and MO, relapsed for the 1st time a week ago and then today even though i wasn't horny (i masturbated yesterday without porn bc i think if i want to do 90+ days i have to j/o sometimes). How do you stop the relapses and going back on track ?

I am terrified because I feel like I have no clue what normal desire even feels like anymore. For example, how on earth do people get turned on and aroused without porn? How do people masturbate without it?

Everyone knows that real sex and porn are two completely different things, but I struggle to understand how normal desire should be. One day I want to meet the right woman and I want to have a normal and healthy relationship and sex life, but I am worried that my subconscious on desire and lust have just been distorted so much.

I find it hard to truly explain what I mean. I am constantly torn between being “sex is positive and fun” to “I feel like a complete degenerate, what the fuck am I doing?” when I use porn. I know there is probably plenty of sex positive people who don’t use/rely on porn to get off, I just WISH I knew how/could be one of them.

I suppose this has turned more into a vent than a question, but it’s just something I’ve felt so conflicted by and I need to get it off my chest or just to understand it better if I can.

I’m 30 y/o, male, gay & already in recovery from drugs & alcohol. (Thirty days sober today - yay!) I haven’t looked at porn this whole time. My drug of choice was meth… and with meth came sex. I was having sex with people in exchange for drugs and money - to survive. I come from a good middle class family, I just happened to get the addiction gene. I’ve been in and out of sobriety for years. This time I’m willing to do everything different. I’m avoiding relationships for a while, and with that … no porn.

For me, porn was my first addiction, before any drug or alcohol. I was shown porn from my friends when I was 10, I hadn’t even hit puberty yet… I didn’t know what I was looking at. That confusion along with knowing I was gay and different from the other boys..and being raised in the Bible Belt - I hid my sexuality from everyone until I turned 18. I’ve had periods of sobriety here and there, but porn & validation from men whether sexual or just online (I’m codependent as f**k as well) came in front of my AA program, & I’ve gotten high or drunk again and again.

Today I was at an LGBT AA meeting which used to be my home group. But it was primarily gay men. I saw a porn star there who I may or may not have gotten high with at one point, and it triggered me to want to get high. Instead of being impulsive I prayed to my Higher Power, talked to someone about it, helped another person in recovery… & now instead of giving into porn I’m on Reddit trying to be vulnerable and take action this time in my recovery. I’m tired of relapsing. And I’m powerless over not just drugs and alcohol, but porn as well.

I hope this post helps someone. And I hope to hear back with some tips or advice of how to fight the impulse to give in, I know porn addiction is different than drug or alcohol addiction a little bit but i have a feeling im not the only 12 step program member on this subreddit.

Looking forward to checking this community out on here.

Blessings :)

I'll going to read it and understand it again. My mind is tricking me again. Make sure it the best book pls🙏

I’m struggling with g**ning urges. Haven’t peaked but it’s bad. Probably because I’m so tired and just got off of work.

Sounds weird, but hear me out. Every time I relapse, first of all, I suddenly recall something I've already watched before. It's the only pattern I noticed for myself.

Here's my thoughts. If you feel that you're about to relapse, if you do, NEVER watch videos with actresses/actors that you've already seen. It should be something random that you'll forget right away, so next time there will be nothing to recall.

That way, as time flies, we will also gradually forget all other stuff and urges will become weaker.

Edit: people seem to forget that novelty is what KEEPS you watching, but it's not a trigger to START watching. The trigger is your exact memories, so we should make them disappear and stop creating new ones.

i am a porn addict. In around 2 years , i almost explored everything in porn. i watched porn as movie and spend hpurs and nights watching them. i tried to leave porn since the last year but could. Today when was too much horny i thought sexually about my real older sister and then after some minutes i checked his pics and started mastrubating i ejaculate in 5 mins. There is an insane regret, shame and guilt on myself but 1 hours i again mastrubated seeing my sister pics and ejaculated and this time no regret. I Should die , I am a complete waste
For those who are trying to leave porn addiction please this otherwise you will reach this level soon.

I(22M) didn't even want to do it yet my mind kept tricking me into checking some subs to see what would happen, I did and I wasn't even willing to do it yet somehow I still managed to relapse and blew away a 12-day streak.

I'm sick of being enslaved by something that I hate. I'm sick of myself and the world in general. I'm wasting the golden years of my life behind a fucking screen that I know harms me yet I still can't leave it no matter how hard I try. I'm sick and disgusted.

I know a lot of us are doing this because of the effects that porn had on our relationship with our SO.

So I thought it may help keep them top of mind by discussing why they’re so important to us that makes this change worth it.

I’ll start: my wife is the most beautiful and passionate person I’ve ever met in my life. She has so much love to give and I’m eager to prove that I’m worthy of that love with this recovery.

Can I ask something

I think I relapse i don't know for sure I recently made a new reddit account and I forgot to turn off the nsfw thing in the settings so I when I search for this community I accidentally seen a porn picture on the community under pornfree I quickly look away and didn't do anything but I was wondering if this counts as a relapse since I'm on my 92 day clean and im sorry if this is a very stupid question or something

It's pretty sad how much time I've wasted on that. I'm addicted to pornography and the sexual validation of strangers

for years but it's something I've been rationalizing and questioning for a very short time, I've done, said, and seen things

that I'm not proud of at all and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself

when I did it I became a different person, a version of myself that scares and disappoints me

so today I woke up with the conviction of being a better man, having better habits but above all being my version

feeling like I'm not wasting my life, it was so embarrassing to get out of all those telegram channels, discord, Reddit and other pages

read and delete thousands of conversations with strangers saying outrageous things that I can't believe I could think of

today I deleted all my accounts, deleted the conversations, and stopped following more than 1,000 accounts on Twitter, I'm seriously thinking

about asking for professional help I don't even enjoy it but There is something inside me that needs it. I don't want to fall so low again.

I need a change.

Summary

1. Timeline
2. Resources
3. Healthy dopamine sources
4. Motivations
5. Metaphors
6. PMO
7. Considerations
8. Traps
9. Testimonies

Part 1: Timeline

Days 0 to 9
Anxious, confused, empty, brain fog, depression, numb—dragging myself through a dull life
Urge (2 days later, gone)
Craving dopamine to "lubricate" my being (2 days later, gone)
Anxiety over an IRL situation (2 days later, gone)
Day 7: Dreamed of my first love, together, having sex (No dream when I PMO)

Day 10
Less anxious
More at peace, less nervous, obsessive, or agitated; fewer urges
Less hypersexuality
Started meditating
Felt mental energy and intellectual pleasure
Less disturbed by people, noise
Felt social and mental energy
Felt child-like happiness—just happy to be alive, like being safe and loved

Day 11
First morning wood, half-awake, dreaming of sex with a girl I know
Deeper voice
Good mood, funny, playful, easier to do house chores
Saw an attractive girl in a bikini on IG, peeked
Should’ve used my tools but failed

Day 13

Heard classical music in my mind, very pleasant Peeked at the IG girl Led to peeking a bit at a look-alike pornstar. Disappointed, not as cool as in my memory. Didn’t touch myself. Urges are always better in my mind than in reality. I idealize them. I crave not the material itself but dopamine. I fantasize, but when I peek and get the dopamine, am disappointed

Day 14

Weekly therapy: able to activate" my mind, think and talk faster, making the session more intense and fulfilling. Great sensation Went boxing. Less anxious, more energized

Days 16-17

Chaser Effect from IG led to peeking 10min per day at hookup/escort websites Urges were overwhelming but fleeting, gone the next day Chaser Effect. Reasoned myself: Do I want it to pass? Yes. How? Abstaining, journaling, building my life. What will I feel? Frustration, but also happiness. Can I handle it? Yes. Visualized my ideal porn-free life and could resist the urge more easily

Day 18

Stopped video games due to my addict cycle of seeking dopamine and feeling numb after

Day 20

Feeling better No peeking. Visualizing my porn-free, "heavenly" life helped tip the balance in my favor Stronger, more confident at boxing, effortlessly No anxiety, easily talking with other boxers Strong urge. (Next day, gone) When using PMO and video games, my mind felt overall disturbed, making it hard to notice subtler disruptions

Today, felt generally good but noticed a slight unease

Upon introspection, realized I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself while helping an old lady clean her house. Was frustrated as she took time to decide on items that seemed useless

With a clearer mind, I recognized the small disturbance and reminded myself that I didn’t need to rush. She paid for my time, not results. Frustration vanished

Metaphorically, when using PMO and video games, my mind was like a lake disturbed by large ripples, preventing me from noticing small ones. Now, big ripples have disappeared, leaving a calm lake where I can spot and address small ripples

Day 22
Major construction noise in my stairwell, but unlike in my PMO days, felt no anxiety. Had a vivid dream about a passionate love triangle with two sisters, made me feel alive

Day 23
Strong, happy, confident—alive regardless of circumstances. Reminded me of the Fremen in Dune—healthy, virile, capable of enduring hardship with joy. Incredible feeling. I'd rather livelike this through hardship, than to feel depressed, weak, zombified in the safety and comfort of my home—which I couldn’t even enjoy, since I felt so bad. Had a powerful gaze, felt invincible—something I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Reminded me that suffering often comes from PMO and poor mental health, not life itself

Day 24
More confident, grounded, playful instead of fearful. Gave a massage to a beautiful woman, felt confident and strong instead of insecure. She said I had golden hands. Intimacy with real women—rather than pixels on a screen—is what life is truly about

Day 25
Quitting PMO and gaming made movies and music more enjoyable. I now fully "live" movies, feeling deeply immersed. During meditation, had a nice experience where I could "play" video games in my mind, reliving the sounds and images

Day 26
Social, at peace, easily engaging with others—no anxiety. No irritable or stressed

Day 28
Urge (Next day, gone). Fantasized about a woman, feeling desire again. In my previous 45-day streak, I had no desire for weeks, but day 32 desire reappeared

Watched a movie and felt deeply immersed. A real-life situation made me feel bad, triggering urges, and I briefly visited a local hookup site. What’s different now is my respectful, mature approach, seeking a healthy, genuine connection, not just to orgasm

Around day 10, started viewing sexual desire, sex, women differently. Before, I saw women as objects for pleasure, now I appreciate them for their mind, personality, with intimacy and sexuality coming naturally. Pleasure is about tenderness, not just orgasm. After sex, I want cuddling and conversation, not isolation

I reached out to people with a healthy, loving mindset, not driven by porn or orgasm-seeking

Considered peeking at escort websites but resisted because I want real, healthy relationships

The character Ant in Speak No Evil struck me—his intensity at the end of the movie made me want to scream my desire to destroy PMO

Day 29

Woke up energized, couldn’t resist going for a run and calisthenics at the park, in nature

Healthy non-porn fantasies about women I know. No urges to look at sexual media

Reminded me I can cultivate a healthy erotic mental space, as long as it’s not pornographic. Healthy sexuality and a rich erotic imagination are natural. Porn is unhealthy and extra-human, and if I deny myself normal human desires—like appreciating real women, their beauty, sensuality, and personalities—I risk falling into an unhealthy extreme, below-human

Later, had an urge that took me back 18 years to a nude picture a girl sent me, which I hadn’t thought about in years. Like my brain was desperately digging into my memory to tempt me.

Some urges

But I disarmed them by reminding myself of two things

1. Porn isn’t a bonus; it’s swapping one pleasure (real life) for another (virtual), as our dopamine and sensitivity are limited resources. If I peek, I won’t get 30 points of pleasure from porn and then 100 points of pleasure when I meet this female friend tomorrow and she undresses. Instead, I’ll get 30 points of virtual pleasure, followed by only 70 points from tomorrow's IRL experience. It would be a shame not to have 100% pleasure and sensitivity from what I'm lucky enough to experience with this friend, so I avoid peeking.
2. What’s the best thing to do when an urge arises? To act on it? No, it’s to transmute it.

If you give in to an urge, you feed it and the mental energy (pathways) remains used by that desire. But if you don’t give in, the urge decomposes, and like fertilizer, this energy is absorbed by the brain for something else. So when an urge comes, don’t see it as useless; let it pass, let it die, sacrifice it and it will transmute into something healthier in your brain

Day 30

Saw a post from a girl on Reddit and found her magnificent. Felt something stronger than anything I’d felt with porn. She was a real, beautiful, flawed, vulnerable, passionate person. (The girl is secondary, what matters is I was able to feel something again. Passion in my body and my mind came alive. Hadn’t felt this in ages. Like as a teenager who sees a girl with her imperfections, yet she feels like the 8th wonder of the world. Falling in love

Woke up feeling good, not depressed or anxious, no urge. Porn feels dull compared to what I felt for this person. I want to reserve myself for real people. (I know it’ll pass, but it’ll come back and that’s good news

Feel hopeful and excited for all the great things and activities I can experience. Made me realize life is amazing. The problem is all in our exhausted, disturbed, and impaired brains

The anxiety, paranoia, depression that made me think the world was dull and people were a danger? It was all in my head. Now that my brain is better, reality seems much better again

Porn is truly the cause of most our psychological problems, not the solution

Today, really enjoyed listening to music

Day 30

Feel like porn is in the past. I know it'll come back with an urge, but it feels so good to be far from it for now

Day 31

Tired (lack of sleep), no urge. It’s normal to be tired sometimes, I’ll take it easy today, rest, tomorrow will be new day

Day 32

Feeling good

Noticed that I need to cut back on scrolling Reddit—just like with PMO and video games, I get addicted. When that happens, reading and meditating become harder to do. Time to reassess my priorities and what habits to feed

Today, was able to attend a board game afternoon with strangers. Had been thinking about it for a year, but fatigue and anxiety held me back

This time I didn't feel any anxiety, everything went smoothly. Felt great to play games that weren't on a screen, with real people

Day 33

Energized, confident, joyful. It’s amazing, 'cause the first two weeks of this streak, I felt so exhaused, anxious and depressed that I couldn’t even imagine feeling good again, even if I abstained for months

Part 2: Resources

1. Dr. Trish Leigh's Porn Brain-Rewire YT channel helped me understand, be motivated, develop strategies to stop PMO
2. YourBrainOnPorn helps you understand porn, has 170 pages of testimonies about the benefits of Nopmo. And a long list of withdrawal symptoms testimonies too, so you don’t feel alone.
3. I did Cognitive, Behavioral & Emotional therapy, which helped me become more rational, logical, and adopt a better mindset, lifestyle, strategies. Highly recommend learning about it, see YT videos
4. Also see a therapist weekly. Always helpful to have someone to talk to, get an outside perspective
5. ChatGPT helped. Describing your situation and asking for advice can be very beneficial
6. TheHolisticPsychologist on IG for mental health advice
7. WarkMalsh on IG for embodiment – learning to feel your body, emotions, experiences so they can pass through you, instead of shutting down, avoiding feelings, turning to addiction to numb your brain due to overwhelming emotions
8. Josh Terry on IG for wisdom and problem-solving
9. Journaling helps. Allows me to get negative thoughts and urges out of my head and onto paper. Helps see the bigger picture of progress and put things in perspective. Can also track how urges lose their intensity after 1 or 2 days. Plus, journaling keeps me from forgetting the positive experiences since I stopped, so I stay motivated and look forward to experiencing them again
10. Stoicism
11. Making lists has been crucial in not losing track of things
12. List of healthy dopamine-producing activities
13. List of motivations for a pornfree life
14. List of what to do in case of an urge
15. List of traps to avoid
16. List of reasons for the negative effects of PMO, giving me even more reasons to abstain
17. List of inspiring testimonies
18. List of considerations about me, life, my relationship to PMO, NoPMO, offering many insights
19. List of explanations on how the brain works, addiction, PMO in general, for better knowledge and understanding
20. List of healthy erotic/sexual fantasies to replace the unhealthy ones and nurture a positive, healthy inner erotic world

Part 3: Healthy Dopamine sources

1. Meditating helps you enjoy things more, be calmer, become more sensitive. You’ll need less of everything to feel satisfied
2. Physical exercise – Walking, running, boxing, weightlifting, calisthenics
3. Hugging, caressing, massages, healthy sex, quality time with someone, having fun, laughing
4. Books, comics, audiobooks, movies, music, YT channels
5. Trying new activities – Board games, card games, role-playing, singing, theater, improv, dancing
6. Time in nature
7. Learning new skills – Learn an instrument, a new language, a trade
8. Practicing gratitude, self-care, celebrating small victories, completing rewarding tasks
9. Searching for activities is a healthy activity in itself

Part 4: Motivations

Only way I could make Pornfree feel more appealing than Pmo was by truly feeling that the Pornfree path was more motivating. So I wrote down my motivations to remind myself and believe in them

1. Feeling good so I can work better and earn more: One day during a streak, I felt zero stress, work was effortless. Want that again—maximum gains, minimal suffering
2. Building real, meaningful relationships with women: Want to meet women IRL, have healthy, interesting relationships, get to know them, hug them, love them, have intimate, loving sex instead of focusing on the orgasmic, pornographic ideal. The feeling of genuine connection, conversation, and shared intimacy is much better than the emptiness that comes after a porn session. I think about a particular elegant, beautiful, intelligent woman I know. Interacting with her is so much more fulfilling than any porn, and I want my entire being to be able to enjoy that connection
3. Improving my mental sharpness: Want to feel clear-headed and fully present in my interactions, like I did at day 14 during my streak when I felt quick and intense in my mind. I want to savor every book, movie, audiobook as much as possible. When I’m Pornfree, I can truly immerse myself in stories—sometimes it feels like I’m actually in the scene. I want to experience this again. I remember a time when I focused so deeply on an audiobook that I could feel ecstasy in my brain, tingles running through me with each word—such a sweet sensation, I want that back
4. Living fully in the moment: I want to watch movies without fidgeting, without the urge to multitask. Being able to sit back, focus, and really live the adventure on screen is something I don’t want to lose. I want a balanced hormonal system, good health, and vitality—eating right, exercising, and staying energized
5. Even cold showers (which I enjoy) feel better in Nopmo. There have even been days when I experienced orgasmic-like sensations during cold showers, and I want to feel that again
6. Feeling great emotionally: I want to feel enthusiastic, invincible, and euphoric like I’ve experienced during my best streaks. I want to feel no anxiety, even in chaotic situations, and get older in a healthy and happy way. I want to feel more alive, more connected to my body, and less dissociated from my feelings
7. Developing better self-awareness: I want to be able to set healthy boundaries, have vivid, meaningful dreams that stir deep emotions, and experience unique moments that are exclusive to the Nopmo journey. There are things I can’t even imagine yet that will make me feel completely fulfilled—experiences that will make me exclaim, Of course! How could I have ever doubted this path?
8. Experiencing music in an extraordinary way: I want to experience music like I did during a previous streak—feeling the bass drop in my body, feeling it in an orgasmic way, with tingles all over. I’ve also had moments when I could hear music in my head clearly, and I want that again
9. Trusting that it will happen: I have to remember that these incredible experiences will come only occasionally. I can’t control when they’ll happen, but if I stay Pornfree, they will happen. They never happen when I relapse into Pmo
10. The porn-free alternative must feel REAL to you. Otherwise, if it feels like the choice is between Pmo or emptiness, you'll end up choosing Pmo. In your mind, it needs to feel like a boring or slightly-interesting Pmo versus a vibrant, healthy, beautiful, porn-free paradise. If it feels real and substantial, it'll be easier to choose it over Pmo—you'll simply prefer it. The brain can only want and believe in what it can imagine, feel, or envision. As long as the Pmo life feels more real to you than the porn-free life, you’ll choose Pmo

Don't hesitate to use visual metaphors—Pmo as a toxic, garbage-filled, suffocating swamp, while your porn-free life is the greatest heaven you can picture: healthy, clean, sunny, with green landscapes, beautiful music, and reassuring vibes. Build this paradise as big and grand as possible, filling it with all the great things that bring you joy. The bigger and more substantial it feels, the more you’ll experience it and naturally prefer it

1. It's powerful to feel something—an idea, an urge—and then work through it, only to realize that the feeling has shifted. It's an amazing sensation, almost like being a wizard who can manipulate the very fabric of reality with their mind
2. I used to think that if I were lying in a hospital bed, I would do anything to get my hands on porn. Cry, scream, beg relentlessly, shout my passion and need for it. But now, I realize I can direct that same intensity of passion toward other, healthier things, and go all in to satisfy those desires: particular books, authors, friends, therapists, activities, food, and so on. I want to be "addicted" to my passions, not to Pmo, which only distracts, numbs, dissociates, and destroys me

As Charles Baudelaire said: You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.
I want to be drunk on passions, books, art, philosophy, life—all the things I love—but not Pmo

1. The more knowledge, motivation, vision, self-esteem, dignity, and intelligence you have in your mind at a given moment, the less you crave Pmo. When you're confused, exhausted, in denial, unable to handle stress, lacking vision, feeling bad about yourself, and without the right tools, the more likely you are to turn to Pmo. It's a clear sign that when we resort to Pmo, it's for all the wrong reasons. And when we abstain, it's for the right ones. Ask yourself during an urge: If I had all the knowledge about the brain and Pmo right here in my mind, would I still choose Pmo? No, you do it when you forget all the reasons why it's harmful, all the amazing things you could experience if you choose to abstain, and how things actually work. That's why it's so important to regularly write down these reasons, especially when you're struggling
2. Porn holds nothing essential; there's nothing you truly need from it. It offers no significant knowledge or real-life advantage. In fact, it's quite dull. What you’re really after when you engage in Pmo are things that already exist inside you, which you've linked to porn as a form of support

For example, I used porn to trigger dopamine. But the dopamine doesn’t come from the screen; it comes from your brain. You can generate it through many other, healthier activities

I used porn to imagine passionate love relationships. That's just a mechanism in my brain, one I can activate through healthier and more engaging materials—movies, books, real relationships, talking with people

I used porn to fuel my fantasies about kinky, loving, mature, soft, seductive women—women who look at you like they love and want you, who are there for you. That fantasy is in my mind, too, and I can nourish it in a healthier way (through movies, books, real-life connections)

The greatness isn’t in porn itself; it lies in the power of your imagination, feelings, body, and brain. You can activate these qualities with healthier, more rewarding material. Everything you sought in porn, you can find elsewhere in a healthy way. Once you realize this, quitting becomes much easier

1. You can have a healthy, vibrant erotic and sexual imagination. You can fantasize about women and sex in any healthy way you want. Whether it's roleplaying, gently caressing a woman's body with a feather, exploring bondage, having sex in unique places, trying different positions, or playing a fun, competitive game where the loser has to let the other do whatever they want, or even something simple like waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to fall back asleep, whispering to each other, then having really tender, loving sex, and falling back asleep in each other’s arms—the only limit is your imagination. It’s entirely possible to create a healthy, beautiful mental world around sex. It's such a shame not to build it

Porn takes away this healthy, rich mental universe and replaces it with something crude, unhealthy, and objectifying. Instead, you can build a huge, beautiful, and healthy one, as rich as you want! I love to write down my healthy fantasies and ideas when they come to me, to keep building on them

1. Stopping Pmo isn’t about losing out on pleasure; it’s about letting go of a burden
2. Each day without Pmo is a victory, bringing you closer to a stronger, freer version of yourself
3. After just one or two days, all my urges didn’t matter anymore. It's helpful to remember this when a new urge arises. Journaling really helps me stay aware of this cycle
4. No matter how tough the day is, in a few hours everything will slow down and calm. You’ll be tired, resting in bed, letting go of all your worries. A good night’s sleep will reset you, and tomorrow will bring a fresh start. You'll feel different and more evolved

Part 5: Metaphors

These help me understand things better and keep me motivated

1. Tracking a streak by the number of days can be useful, but if you slip up even after two months, it can feel like you're starting over. When that happens, it’s easy to think, "Well, if I’m back at zero, why not just binge and grab some dopamine before I start again?" To avoid falling into that trap when I peeked, I started to see things in terms of progression, not perfection. I used a stairwell metaphor

Healing is like climbing a staircase with many floors. As you abstain, you walk up slowly and steadily. Let's say after 15 days, you're at floor 15 (feeling better). If you peek or relapse, you go back down to floor 14—not to zero. From there, you have two choices: start climbing again, and the next day you’ll be back at floor 15, or continue binging and keep sliding down until you’re back at zero. I find this more motivating because even if you relapse, in a few days, you’ll be higher up than before

1. Chaser Effect. Often felt like it wouldn’t go away and I’d better relapse to "start fresh." Now I picture it as a little demon sitting on my shoulder after I peek. Tries to convince me to go lower and lower, back to the Pmo swamp. But every time I ignore him he fades a bit, and in a day or two he vanishes in a puff of smoke
2. Pmo life as a dark, putrid swamp, Pornfree life as a beautiful, rich, sunny heaven. The more I flesh out this vision of my Pornfree life, the more motivating. Like a place I can travel to
3. Peaks and valleys. Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days you’ll feel worse than the day before. It's normal. It’s part of the recovery process. Sometimes it dips, but it’s always to rise higher soon after. If you look day by day you might see a dip, but if you zoom out you’ll always see progress. Accepting the lower days helps keep you moving forward
4. The two wolves. A bit cheesy, but true. Inside of you, there are two wolves: one represents darkness, self-destruction, and despair; the other represents light, health, love, and happiness. The one you feed will win
5. Flatline can be a tough phase. Your libido and erections seem to disappear for weeks, and that can scare people into forcing an erection through Pmo or Mo. During my last streak, I had no libido and no erections, except sometimes at night. Then, on day 32, suddenly, I felt "wet" inside, a sensation in my penis, and a rush of libido. It felt great. I was happy I didn’t force it and let the healing process happen naturally

I use a metaphor for this: imagine someone is so exhausted after an ordeal that they sleep for days (like in some anime). If you let them rest peacefully in a safe, calm place, they’ll wake up feeling healed. But if you get anxious and shake them awake prematurely, they’ll feel bad, half-healed, and may need to go back to sleep or stay awake but still tired

This helps me stay motivated to wait for the flatline to pass naturally while practicing self-care in the meantime

Part 6: Pmo

I believe it's crucial to build a solid understanding of Pmo and the healing process. I mostly do this by watching Dr. Trish Leigh's videos

1. The "Seeking & Searching" behavior is deeply connected to dopamine. We often engage in it—searching for the perfect video—for the massive dopamine rush. It's the thrill of the hunt
2. Looking for endless novelty is also tied to dopamine, but it’s a never-ending cycle. We’ll never truly feel satisfied
3. The Four Ds of the Dopamine Porn-Addiction Cycle

Dopamine Drip: When you think about Pmo, you get a small dopamine boost. You have about 3 seconds to move away from it, or else you'll experience a...Dopamine Deluge: This happens when you feed into the fantasy. And then, if you give in, you reach the...Dopamine Drowning: When you engage in Pmo itself, flooding your system.Finally, there’s the Dopamine Deficit: Afterward, you feel empty and are drawn to go back for more

4. Porn is often used for mood regulation, more than for actual sexual purposes. We need to replace it with healthier alternatives like self-care, grounding exercises, etc

5. You need to have plans in place for urges; otherwise, it will grab you by the brain

6. Urges follow a clear pattern: they rise, peak, and then always fade away

7. Healing Timeline (from Dr. Trish Leigh's video):

8. Step 1: Commit 100% to quitting, fully understanding it's harmful. This clarity will fuel your motivation. Step 2: Unwiring takes around 90 days, involving learning, action, strategies, and support. Triggers will arise, but resisting them builds integrity. Step 3: Healing lasts for 1-3 years, accelerates with positive actions. By not reopening the wound, your brain heals through neurogenesis. You’ll create a porn-free life and heal the trauma that led to the addiction. As you rewire your brain, you’ll develop healthier energy patterns and a sustainable lifestyle

9. Coolidge Effect: When a rat mates, it rests, but introducing a new female gives a burst of energy to mate again. Similarly, watching more porn triggers our brain to act as if each new piece is a fresh opportunity, keeping us hooked until we’re exhausted—mentally, physically, and emotionally. This cycle leads to depletion and ultimately harms our health and well-being

Part 7: Considerations

1. There are times when you need to do the hard work—focusing on your mindset, lifestyle, behavior, lists, and learning to build and improve. But there are also times when you're tired and overwhelmed, and it’s important to take a step back to relax, practice self-care, meditate—just rest. You don’t have to push yourself to establish, understand, or achieve anything with your mind. Sometimes, you need to hammer the iron to shape it, and other times, you just need to let the dough rest
2. A major breakthrough for me was learning to listen to my body and feel what I was experiencing. By living through it, I can process the feelings rather than let them turn into trauma. I used to dive straight into addiction whenever I felt uneasy. When faced with discomfort, my body—especially my torso and belly—would tighten, and I’d disconnect from it, dissociating until the experience was over. It was stressful, and I used Pmo to artificially regulate. Now, the process is: [Feel the unease] → [Relax my body, let the energy and emotions flow, feel them, let them pass through me, then decide how I want to respond] → [Feel better, not traumatized; the experience was processed and "digested"] → [No need to use addiction to cope]
3. You can’t always control what you feel, but you can decide what to do. So, no matter how you feel, focus on doing healthy, engaging things, and your mood will likely improve without stressing over it. It’s logical— even if you feel empty at first, the more you fill your days with healthy, meaningful, enjoyable activities, the more likely you are to feel better in the long term. On the other hand, the more you engage in unhealthy activities, the more chances you’ll have of feeling bad, no matter how hard you try to rationalize
4. I once had a strong urge related to an amateur girl who posted at-home pictures. I kept thinking about it and wondering why. I reasoned that part of my brain might have confused it with a real connection, as I had "seen" her in an intimate, sexual context, and it felt like a past encounter. But after thinking it through, I realized that it wasn’t someone I knew—just a woman selling pictures to strangers she would never know or care about. There was no possibility of a relationship or any real connection. Once I understood this, my mind lost interest, and the urge faded away
5. We have a finite amount of dopamine to spend on activities. You can choose to invest it in Pmo, social media, or in pursuing your dreams, building real-life relationships, and engaging in meaningful activities. As Josh Terry says, Feed the beast you want to keep alive
6. Porn creates a state of hypersexuality, putting you in a "lusting" mode all the time instead of a "loving" mode. When you're interested in someone, ask yourself: are you in a "lusting" mindset (wanting to use someone for sexual gratification without seeing them as a person)? Or are you in a "loving" mindset (wanting to respect them, understand them, and genuinely care about them)?
7. Wanting to PMO just because you're home alone and on the computer is a classic case of Pavlovian conditioning you've created for yourself. You just need to undo this conditioning
8. Porn isn’t a bonus—it’s just swapping one form of pleasure (real life) for another (virtual), and our dopamine and sensitivity are limited resources. If I peek, I won’t get 30 points of pleasure from sexual media and then 100 points the next day when I meet a female friend and she undresses. Instead, I’ll get 30 points of virtual pleasure, followed by only 60 or 70 from the real-life experience. I want 100% pleasure and sensitivity from the real-world experience, so I save myself for it and don’t peek
9. What’s the best way to handle an urge? Is it to act on it? No, it’s to transmute it. If you give in to an urge, you’re feeding it, and the mental energy stays focused on that craving. But if you don’t give in, the urge fades away, breaks down, and like fertilizer, the energy is absorbed by your brain to build something else. So, when an urge arises, it’s not useless—let it pass, let it die, sacrifice it, and it will transform into something healthier in your brain
10. If you feel bad but think you'd instantly feel better if you gave in to your addictive behavior, it means the withdrawal is working. You haven’t lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure—because you'd experience it right away if you used porn. Instead, that capacity has been temporarily hijacked by porn, so it just needs time to transfer back to the rest of your life. Once that happens, you’ll feel a lot of joy every day through healthy activities. It’s not a loss—it’s a transfer for the better
11. Reading or listening to information about why porn is harmful and how you’ll heal is good, but it won’t be effective unless you feel it and truly believe in it. You need to work on your mindset until it becomes something you can genuinely believe in. Otherwise, it won’t feel real to you, and you’ll relapse, because PMO at least feels real. Work on it until you feel a shift inside. Once you do, it will be easier to abstain
12. You need an equation that works: Abstinence+self-care+healthy life and relationships+therapy = Success

But abstinence+perfectionism+stress+ is too hard

13. Don’t obsess over how you feel throughout the day during withdrawal. You can’t control it, and it will come and go. Focus on doing healthy activities, and over time, you’ll feel better more consistently

14. I read that one way to manage a bad emotion is to replace it with a stronger, positive one. Sometimes, instead of trying to solve or get rid of a negative feeling or thought, you can simply replace it with something else. For example, if I keep ruminating about someone who wronged me, ruminating it in my mind can make me feel bad for hours. Instead, I make it disappear by focusing on something positive until my mindset shifts. For example by reading a novel or watching a movie. I think the same principle can apply to PMO. You can replace lustful thoughts with respectful, loving considerations. You can swap unhealthy fantasies for healthier ones, or replace dopamine-draining habits with positive ones. The brain can’t do everything at once, so when negative thoughts or emotions arise, try replacing them with positive ones, for example by doing a healthy, engaging activity

Sometimes, of course, there are important issues that need to be addressed. But not by ruminating. Instead, challenge the thought with reason: write it down, list the rational reasons for thinking that way, and come up with more realistic and healthier alternatives. This is a technique commonly used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

15. I’d rather face a challenging day that brings me closer to a healthy, porn-free life than an easy day that harms my brain with porn, video games, and mindless scrolling. The struggle is worth it

16. I've realized that my addictions have hurt me more than others have. This is good news because it means I have more control over my well-being than I thought

17. FOMO is a paradox. Watching porn to avoid missing out means missing out on amazing, porn-free experiences. Why not have FOMO for those instead?

18. When I quit junk food, it took 3 months for cravings to subside. I understand it can take months for the brain to heal from a big addiction like PMO

19. The body and brain heal quickly—what took years to damage can be restored in weeks or months with abstinence. We're lucky to have this capacity for regeneration

20. You're not a bad person; you're a good person surrounded with obstacles (but that you can overcome)

21. Having been through PMO, you'll value your porn-free life more and feel more empathetic

22. Urges and doubts are normal; what matters is your final decision

23. During withdrawal, you'll start seeking not the most intense, but the healthiest and most fulfilling experiences—things that truly align with your values

24. I don’t use industry issues as a reason to quit porn, because that can lead to rationalizing "ethical" porn, like amateur content. Instead, I focus on how any kind of porn—amateur, drawn, or professional—harms the brain and life, sometimes even more than mainstream porn

25. Quitting cold turkey is best. Otherwise, you stay stuck in the cycle, reopening the wound instead of fully healing and building a new life24

26. No matter what else you enjoy in life, you'll start enjoying it less and less until only porn can give you a temporary high, followed by misery for the rest of the day

27. Eventually, even orgasm won’t feel pleasurable—it’ll just reduce your anxiety and depression a little, but not in a healthy way

28. Over time, you'll notice your ability to focus, memorize, and think clearly declining. Even your speech might be affected

29. It shrinks grey matter and damages the functions of your frontal lobe

30. Whatever psychological issues you're facing, porn will only make them worse

31. It will drain the self-esteem and hope you have left

These last 6 were confirmed to me by someone who'd been addicted for 40 years

Part 8: Traps

1. Feeling good may trick you into thinking PMO is harmless, but that feeling comes from abstaining. Overconfidence has led many to relapse for weeks or months. One person binged after two years porn-free due to recklessness and no plan for urges.
2. Avoid risky websites, movies, especially when tired, stressed, or irritated
3. Don't underestimate loneliness, boredom, emptiness, frustration—they can trigger a relapse fast
4. Rationalization is a trap: "It’s my only pleasure," "Quitting takes too much energy," or "It keeps me less horny." In reality, it fuels hypersexuality.

Every excuse for porn has a healthier, more fulfilling alternative—if you're honest and willing to try

Part 9: Testimonies

1. Used to have brain fog, but now I'm more creative and focused, reading for hours without fatigue and retaining information, which was impossible before
2. After quitting porn, my energy soared, and three months later, my income increased.
3. 94 days in, my libido skyrocketed, and I’ve never felt this much lust. Even though I don't watch porn, I sometimes masturbate 2-3 times a day. After a week, horny is gone
4. Being porn-free isn’t about suppression, but about dissociating sex from porn. Attraction is normal and healthy, might be time to pursue a partner
5. Sexual attraction to the opposite sex is healthy. Losing that is a sign of relying on an unnatural source like porn
6. You’re doing great! I think you are just at that phase where your body has recharged and is ready to pursue something. Harness that energy and get into a relationship
7. I’m around week 5-6 of recovery after using porn for 6 years, and my libido is returning, along with many other benefits

I feel sexier, get more attention from women, and have better relationships due to increased confidence. I get along better with people, and me and my friends have gotten closer recently

I feel more energetic and can push myself further at the gym. Abstaining from orgasm to reboot seems to be working. If you're on the fence, kick the habit—you won’t regret it

8. 2 months ago, I stopped porn, and whether it’s a placebo or not, I’ve never felt better. I have more energy, confidence, and my depression feels under control. I even asked a girl out in public—something I’d never have done before—and we're going on a date

9. Over the past year of cutting back on compulsive masturbation, my brain and thought processes have gone through many stages as I’ve shifted away from porn and masturbation as my main source of pleasure. I've experienced clearer thoughts and more fulfilling social interactions. The growth isn’t linear—it has peaks and valleys, but overall, it’s been progress. After 6 days without masturbating and a great day with a friend, I felt inspired to write this post, to remind myself and others that it’s totally worth pursuing. It gets better!

10. Day 90. Can feel the beauty of life again

11. 2 years without porn and 2 months without porn fantasy, feeling as good as new. Old habits are fading, and I’m building healthy new ones. My sexual life is returning to a natural state, social life has improved dramatically. I’ve become more creative, sharp, and focused, able to read for hours without tiring, and absorb and retain information with ease—something that was impossible before

12. Symptoms probably related to low dopamine/low receptor count still come in waves. Mood and energy levels still not steady but much steadier than before Here’s what I found after searching for 'low dopamine' symptoms:

Often feel depressed, flat, bored, apathetic Low physical/mental energy. Tired a lot, have to push yourself to exercise Low drive, enthusiasm, motivation Difficulty focusing and concentrating Easily chilled Put on weight too easily Feel the need to get more alert and motivated by consuming coffee, sugar, soda, or cocaine

I have all these symptoms except easy weight gain, but things are improving daily

13. Studies show video games trigger a similar brain response as porn. After 72 days without porn, video games, tobacco, or soda, I’ve never felt better—more energy, sharper, and more focus

Hi, im 16f and i would really love to have someone to talk to who understands what having this addiction is like. Ive had some lovely people reach out to me to be in contact with but I would feel most comfortable and understood if it were someone my own age :) If anyone here if 19 and younger and want someone to talk to, feel free to reach out!