as i get older (23) i'm beginning to realize that i really don't like anything other than maybe 5 things.

currently i am currently in a master's program and i hate it, and i barely finished undergrad last year. both degrees are in job fields i dislike the least separate from my dream career of making music, which my parents didn't allow me to pursue.

i am miserable because most jobs in the field i'm studying are not at all for me. i'd only go into one sector of the field and unfortunately it's the most competitive.

so yeah. i hate my master's program, i hate the idea of getting a job of any kind other than music, i hate that i don't feel like myself. i've been suffering from really bad dissociation and i'm depressed because i don't recognize myself and my life. this isn't how i planned it all to end up.

the only things i enjoy: listening to music, making music, fashion, traveling, and getting drunk and going to the club with my friends so we can dance to the music we like.

all of those things bring me so much joy and make me feel like myself.

but now i'm in debt doing the wrong thing. it makes me feel like a loser that likes nothing.

do people actually wake up feeling fulfilled every day, and feeling like they have a life calling?

Hi everyone,

I’ve personally struggled with anxiety, and I know how challenging it can be to break free from those overwhelming thoughts during moments of panic or stress. It’s hard to stop the negative spiral once you’re caught in it. That’s why I’m working on creating an app that helps you restructure your thoughts during these moments, enabling you to think more clearly and calm down.

While there are some great CBT apps out there, I want to build something different: a chatbot where you can share your specific worries, and it helps you identify and challenge the negative thought patterns that are affecting you in that moment.

If this sounds interesting and you also experience anxiety, I’d really appreciate your help in filling out a short survey. Anxiety can manifest in many different ways, and I want to understand how best to create an app that truly helps people with their unique challenges.

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Thank you for your time and support!

I feel like I'm well organized and know exactly what to do at any point in time using GTD system but I have problems with motivating myself to start as well as focusing on something until it's done. Are there books or other resources that helped you with that long term?

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Long story short, I am afraid to take control of my life and actions. I am afraid to do things that i plan on my own, or things that I actually do not need to do. Throughout my life I have been told to do things and i am used to things being that way. Obviously stable home means I had good guidance as a kid. Then when i went to school, everything was laid out in a way. You are supposed to do what you are asked to. Homeworks and stuffs. Then i made a decision about what to do in college. but i did consult people in that decision too. ik i shouldn't expect to make every decision on my own without ever talking to anyone about it. But I did what i was asked to do in college too. and after i graduate, if i get a job through my college, which ik that i will, I will be stuck with someone else ordering me what to do. it would be like i never did anything for myself. I cant feel good about my simple decisions like choosing something to wear without seeking for approval. Most of my decisions were based on me agreeing with someone’s opinion or disagreeing which led me to do the opposite thing. These opinions are from people i do trust. but it just feels like I should have a clear part in my brain too that would tell me what to do. Ik tthat this might stem from low self worth issues or something. its not like i havent tried. its just that i just cannot do something unless i absolutely have to. For example i do wanna learn video editing. its not part of academia or anything that anyone suggested me. but i just give up after a few days. cause i do not need to do it. I feel like i am missing something that complete the explanation of the problem, so feel free to ask about any part you didnt understand.

i need to take control of my life. i need to feel like i am in the front side. not like the front seat is shared by everyone around me except me.But i would also wanna mention that I have had problems with desire for controlling everything in the past. I would want to control everything I do and never accomplish anything. Because of the pressure

hi

I am just lost, and I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to talk to so that's why I am here

I graduated last year and for a long time what gave me hope was the idea that I will get to be a doctor, help people and even Tho I knew I will not be rich being a doctor in a third world country I thought that my salary would be enough for me to have a comfortable life and that at least it is a respectable and fulfilling job to do.

and for this reason, since I was a very goal-oriented person I focused only on school, even if I wanted otherwise, I did not actually have time to date or to just have fun with my friends. But I convinced myself that its ok because it is worth it at the end.

sadly, after graduation everything turned south, I got a job, but the pay is so low, I can't afford rent, I can't buy myself necessities like cloth or shoes. going to the gym and yoga classes, eating healthy are luxuries I can't afford, (yea that's how low a medical doctor makes in my country. I don't get it there is high demand, but the government treats us like we are shit).plus I had to move because there was war in the city that I used to live in. overall I live on survival mode, and it turns out the job is not as fulfilling when at the end of the day you have to warry about whether you have enough to survive for a month or not,

on top of this, dealing with hurtful comments, racism and rude disrespectful patients, being treated badly in social gatherings because I am a poor doctor and seeing the social class for doctors getting very low has made me question why I did all this work for

don't get me wrong I love medicine, and I still love helping people, but when I see doctors from other courtiers working hard (which I like to do) and having the time and money to take care of themselves, it makes me jealous and question what I did wrong

as for dating

I think I am attractive, and people usually say that to me. but sometimes I feel like they are just saying that to make me feel good because in my country unless you are really short, light skinned, a little overweight and younger than 24 you are not considered as an attractive woman. And I am too old, to tall and skinny for that, I am 26 years old 172-173cm tall, size 2, relatively long hair, brown eyes, brown skinned girl with east African features. I have recently passed the measurements for being a model and started modeling classes (in the hope that it will add something to this dull life). still i feel like guys don't find me attractive. guys don't really ask me out a lot, as for the ones who did I was in med school and so I did not have time to go out. And this past year I have kind of lost hope in life, I feel like maybe I am just not blessed to have a relationship.

still seeing my friends getting married, being in love, or just exploring dating, even Tho it makes me happy for them, at the end of the day it breaks me a little

with the war, racism, moving, low pay, financial problems, never dating and many other things I have not Saied. I just lost hope

what do I do

Every minute I care about my facial expressions until it affect my ability to socialize. My resting face is ugly, my smiling is also ugly until i don't know what to put my facial expressions and how to make contact with girls. Whenever i make contact with a girl or talk with a girl, they will look other ways trying not to make eye contact with me because i am too ugly

I've come to accept the reality that I am indeed s people pleaser. And although It make s me happy to care for, praise and serve others - it's my expression of gratitude and love - I'm starting to feel that my need for external validation is getting a little out of hand. My husband has made me hyper aware of this. Where as I like to frequently give praise and share words of affection, he does not. And I'm realizing I've fed off of that my entire life to the point that now, without it, I doubt myself and become insecure.

I want to continue being my loving expressive self, but I also want to have a stronger sense of self value and confidence. And that I don't NEED constant words of praise to have self worth....

Long winded way of asking for self help book please. Lol

Hey Reddit fam! 👋

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Hey everyone on a personal growth journey!

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Hey yall,

So I don't know if anybody is going to have an answer for me (mostly based off scrolling through the endless questions with zero answers when I pulled up the subreddit) but I'm hoping to take a shot in the dark and see what becomes of it. I have ADHD, and as such, I struggle with impulsive behaviors. Particularly when I say things. I find too often that I say my opinion, or talk crap on a person, or i unnecessarily add something to a conversation that could've been left unsaid. Because of this, I've made myself look incredibly stupid on one too many occasions. To make matters worse, I have tourettes, anxiety, and depression, so as you can probably imagine, it's weaved itself into a rather obnoxious viscous cycle that i can't quite seem to kick. Moral of the story: I need help. Obviously it's not destroying my life, but it's getting a bit out of hand. And in case you're wondering, yes I'm medicated, and yes my meds work great as i can totally see the difference in me when I take them.

So yeah, there's that I guess.

Any ideas?

hello people, im not the biggest reddit user and no idea if this is the right place for this. but i have had a problem for a while now, for my whole life i have allways looked at a post apocalyptic world where it is survival of the fittest. im a pretty big buy, 1.90m and about 100 kilos, did rugby for like 10 years and all this time ive allways found the world a bit stupid in a sense. i have alot of "primal " thoughts about fighting wild animals and fighting other people for power. natural selection as it May seem. ive tried Cage fighting ive tried boxing . ive tried alot of things but in alot of those ways i dont accept when the fight is over since its not. some person blows the wistle and its over. i domt believe in the world we live in today and im scared i will have problems with this later in life. have you ever had "primal" thoughts and or moments where u thought to urself, i want to feel "alive" by fighting and overpowering a wild animal? im sorry if i qm not explaining well i dont really know what to do with a feeling like this. when i was younger i thought of a post apocalpytic world as in everyone is in a clan and we fight for food. but nowadays i just cant seem to accept i gotta work, listen to other people bc they got a few higher iq points then me. coull u tell me how u feel and or if u had this? mayby u know what to do or what it is. thank you in advance.

So to give you some context. I have struggled with discipline for quite a long time. Until recently I started using an app called Habitify (I am not affiliated with them in any way whatsoever).

Moreso because of this lack of discipline, I have lots of doubts and I struggle sometimes to this day with discipline. I ask this so I could create a purpose for myself by helping people since I have noticed helping people helps me as well.

QUESTION: So I wanted to ask all of you, as I am an aspiring software developer, what applications can I make that could help you with improving as a person?**

The only app I have thought so far off is a habit tracking app. But I'm interested in what problems you all have with any productivity software like that as well.

Anytime the cost of a decision is a little high, let's just say for example, a visa application form, even if I know all the information is correct, I don't feel confident enough in going through with it. I keep delaying the final step which makes me lose a lot. Why could I have developed this nature and how can I fix it?

(24M) It takes me a while to open up to people and I want to improve on that. I'm usually just the chill guy that vibes with everyone but doesn't really talk about my personal life. Like once people start asking me the deep personal questions I get quiet. Im not sure why I'm like this I think I don't really know how to express my feelings. I have been like this since I was a child. I think this is why I can't seem to get a girlfriend because I close up when a girl wants to get vulnerable. I guess opening up means I have to release all of my build up trauma that I've been keeping to myself for years. Are there any tips or exercises to help me to be more open to people about my feelings?

Every post I make Reddit removes it because of something ?

I attended the atlas project personal development trainings in Austin two years ago and I'd just reflecting in awe of how much I've grown. I really didn't listen to any type of self improvement but a friend of mine two did tony robbins, landmark etc said this one was the best program for the cheapest. Anyways.

I feel I have truly come far on the journey of self discovery, inner peace, or whatever you want to call it. I feel so confident walking into rooms and holding conversations with people I used to view as "better" than me due to status, money or having things I wanted.

I have really deepened my relationships with my friends and family, and expanded my circle of connections- one of the girls I did the training with is now a sister to me and was in my wedding + I'm her daughters fairy godmother! So cool.

I used to me someone who sucked at texting back, would forget to check up on my loved ones, and only talked to my siblings when "necessary" But due to the connections I have built and the relationships I've been watering, when I was ready to move jobs three wonderful leaders from the community offered to interview me and I ultimately was able to increase my pay 33% last month.

I just feel so blessed I gave myself a real shot at deprogramming the compeititive, scarce conversations that used to run me. Are there any other graduates on this subreddit who had a lasting impact?

Cheers- AnonKitty

I'm French, so this post might be really hard to read, but I don't want to use a translator and I apologize for dropping my life this but i feel like i can't tell this to my friends or family.

I'm F/19yo, i think i never had any passions or dreams and I never felt bad about this because I've never brought this subject to anyone, so I thought it was something quite normal but growing up made me realize that not really, when I talk with someone they always easily respond to the questions about dreams/passions even if it's the most "basic" one, but me, I can't even say makeup, film or travelling because I know it's not true. Not only that, but I do like some things, I just like them, i can live without them, it doesn't matter at all.

First, i wanted to drop high school because I had no interest in school at all, I'm bad at it, I don't even know how I've never failed a class. I was not brave enough to drop it, so I just finished high school and again, didn't want to go to college neither work sooo obviously i had to make a choice and ended up to college (2nd year now), 500km (310 miles i think) away from my hometown, idk why I did this, It's really hard financially my mom can't really help me and my father don't care at all. I did find a job last year for like 3-4 months but nothing after, i have a loan, and it scares me, idk if i can find a job easily with my studies because i do anthropology and i'd rather have a PHD for that.

I think It's Sunday, i just woke up and cried for over 3h, why do I always need to be lost to try to find myself ? I don't even know who i am. The vision of myself is so strange, i've always felt deformed, misshapen next to people (physically and mentally) not like big or ugly but just strange. I don't if i want to drop college because i dont like my studies anymore or just because im bad at it and always messed up, i have an exam tomorrow and im just like seeking for attention on internet, i hate feeling like this but i can't feel anything but this, i've always been like this i don't know what to do in my life. When im not in class ? Laying in my bed watching videos/series i've seen to many times. I need to study ? I can't get my fck ass up even if i just want to kill myself when im procrastinating.

I don't have any skills, where can i work ? There are a bunch of better people, i've always thought nothing terrible can happen to me, it will always get better, but not anymore. All my life is just breaking down, my fck periods hurt more and more, my acne is getting worse, i have less and less friends, i hate being alone but i always feel alone with people, obviously i don't want to work but i know i have to, but they don't even want me and i can't just imagine having the same life as my parents (no offense to them but i know what they feel) i just want a simple life, i don't want to be rich anymore just a roof, food and not feeling so empty and overwhelmed at the same time i don't even want to be happy just be a person with some things that i like and that i can share to people. I've already saw a psy like 3 years ago and it was a terrible experience.

sorry for all of this complaining in an awful English but i really needed it.

I use Reddit so much that I thought maybe if I posted it on Reddit people might check it out. Hope you enjoy https://a.co/d/foOsWoi

It started when I was about 13 (now 25). I started thinking about men in a certain way, I eventually started to start crossdressing and instead of being attracted to attractive women I've become jealous I don't look like them. I know it's a sin to behave this way. I've also discovered Sissy stuff online which hasn't helped. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, I wish it never existed. I feel demons keep causing me to have certain thoughts and bad feelings. I try to fight against it, but I always get pulled back in. I keep trying to stay my masculine and stay on the right path to avoid hell. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Imagine carrying a backpack every day, but instead of books or supplies, it’s filled with all your unresolved emotions, unspoken words, past experiences, and fears. This emotional backpack can become heavy over time, impacting how you show up in relationships, at work, or even how you feel about yourself.

Sometimes, we’re so used to carrying it, we don’t even notice the weight anymore—until it slows us down or stops us from moving forward. Unpacking it means identifying what’s inside, processing those emotions, and letting go of what no longer serves us.

So, I’d love to open this up for discussion:

What’s in your emotional backpack? Have you ever tried to unpack it, and if so, how?

I have struggled with depression and negative moods on multiple occasions throughout my life. Reading the "Power of Now" book and learning how to "watch the thinker" (similar to cognitive behavioral therapy) was by far the most effective method of dealing with it. Since I am a programmer by trade and love working on side projects I decided to build a tool for myself that makes the process of observing your thoughts and analyzing them way simpler.

This project is very new and I would be super happy to get feedback and make the tool as good as possible.

Hope some of you find it helpful (there is a tutorial video on the landing page)

https://www.distortioncatcher.com/

For context i(22M) used to be a shy, weak loser kid through primary and middle school who spent his time all day indoors gaming .

At a young age i decided to look at myself in the mirror and By high school i became more confident but since covid hit the years we should've socialized in our class were also spent behind a screen. Ever since then i started self improvement. Things like losing fat, eating healthy, being more physically active, joining an NGO, studying for a degree, getting better grades, being more outgoing and talkative i literally try to make conversation everywhere i go. And my life has improved by a lot. I look unrecognizable from just 4 years ago

And i have become more confident, and it has made my life overall better. However like in my school years i still get no pussy. I've become significantly better looking i don't think im the best looking yet but i expected to have some better results in dating but still nothing. Im not confident with women beacuse why should i? Every area of my life has improved except that one.

Ive never been in a LTR, i dont have much experience with dating/dating dynamics Girls my age and lower racking up higher and higher bodycounts while i can barely get a date.

i feel like im in a race against time and i am losing it. Even if i get a girlfriend tomorrow she will notice that i'm inexperienced and probably manipulate me in all kinds of ways i wouldnt notice.

It has gotten so bad the thought gets so burdensome that i barely feel like doing anything sometimes, day by day more and more i just feel like rotting and asking why bother.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGwLUcqBzd8

Okay so I had an eventful year I guess. Just for context my life is not that bad I just feel like I'm under water. I know what I should be feeling and that's how I navigated my life this year. I guess I'm just tired or something. I had a pretty rough friendship break up I guess. Also I might have grown bitter since Ive been at uni for five years now. (I'm from Hungary my degree takes six years to get) And I'm just so over it that I can't even finish simple assignments on time. Also in my personal relationship I just can't do emotional labour(I know I should feel bad or something.) One of my friends potentially has cancer and when she told me it was really hard to act like I felt anything. Idk what to do. I guess I lost my zest for life or something. Nothing can scare or make me sad anymore and nothing matters. The only thing I hate I guess is this nihilism I seem to have found myself in.

What can I do to get out of this?

So Here’s the story: I am a mixed raced male (half soviet Korean and half Malay). I grew up in Malaysia during my childhood days it was during my childhood days I never felt like i belonged anywhere always felt lonely inside even though I was around people my age. Yes I made a couple of friends but I always felt lonely like I never Truly belonged anywhere.I was also discriminated sometimes for not truly being one of them.

During my yearly teens we always moved because of my father’s financial situation. So i never really got to make new friends quickly. In 2019 my parents split up. And me and my went back to my mothers homeland ( Kazakhstan) I was 14 years old at that point. And even there I felt I didn’t belong there plus I had to learn a new language and going to a school that wasn’t my native tongue. I was blessed for picking the right class where the students helped me and encourage me. But outside school I was still discriminated for being malay I was the odd one. They called me a foreigner.

Outside my school my life wasn’t all that great. My mom was financially struggling. I was feeling down the whole 2019 I stayed in my house not going outside. In 2022 I was blessed to make a couple of friends who appreciated me for being me.

In April of this year I moved to South Korea to work a blue collar job to support my mom and siblings. Having to leave my friends back at home. Since I left home and moved to Korea and directly started working I haven’t had the time to make new friends and now it is hard because I’m 18 years old and my colleagues are much much older than me. And I don’t speak the language fluently (Russian language )often stuttering people often look at me like I was retarted. I told my grandma I was feeling down and kinda depressed. But she told me Get your shit together and you will be fine.

Now I’m not socialising with anyone often trying to avoid people. Now my life is just work and home. Often jealous seeing my older cousin socialising easily and with girls. Meanwhile I didn’t really had a serious relationship. Now I’m 18 years old with no social life no friends and still a virgin. Feeling kinda depressed lonely and down.

Please give any suggestions or advice

Thank you

have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you didn’t belong or that people didn’t really understand you? what did you do in that moment? did you change something about yourself to fit in or feel accepted? if so, how did it feel—did it feel like you were still being true to yourself?

Hey everyone!

As someone who’s been navigating the rollercoaster of anxiety, I decided to pour my experience into an article on Medium: The Anxiety Survival Kit: 10 Essentials You Need Right Now.

In it, I break down 10 practical tools that have helped me (and many others) manage those tough moments. From grounding techniques to self-care must-haves, it's a mix of science-backed advice and personal insights.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or just need a reminder that you’re not alone, I think you’ll find this helpful. I’d love to hear what you think or what works for you when anxiety hits. Drop your thoughts here or in the comments on Medium! 💬

Let’s keep the conversation going—because no one should have to face anxiety alone. ❤️