Anyone else here because they made an ass out of themselves at Thanksgiving?

I was stumbling, slurring, repeating myself, cried, and broke a glass. I blacked out. Apparently, I had an emotional conversation with my grandma for hours. My girlfriend is over my drinking. I woke up at 5 am with severe anxiety and couldn’t fall back asleep. I called my mom in tears the next morning.

It’s been days and I’m still embarrassed. I’ve never blacked out in front of my family and it feels like a new low. The stupidest part is, I felt awkward with my family and drank again within the next 48 hours. Then I cried the whole flight home.

I have my first attorney job out of law school, and I feel like a failure nearly every day. I’m beyond stressed and the stress is making me black out from drinking every weekend. I’ve been working toward obtaining this job for four years, and now I’m not sure if I even want it.

Outwardly, my life looks great. I graduated and passed the bar. I work a good job. I moved into a nicer apartment and I’m on track to get engaged. But I’m crying every day. I’ve never cried this much in my life, and my drinking is spiraling out of control.

I don’t know what the point of this post is. I think I just needed to write this down. I was sober for 8 months in law school, but law school in comparison to lawyering now feels like a breeze. If anyone has tips for dealing with high stress jobs please let me know.

I’m done with alcohol.

I’ve been sober for almost 8 months (7th dec) and I haven’t had strong cravings in a loooong while now but today was tough! Today (yesterday now, UK time) was my mum’s birthday and we went out as a family to go ice skating and there was a little fair with a pop up bar and bratwurst stand and it was a really lovely time but seeing the bar and people drinking definitely triggered me a lot today and for the rest of the night I’ve just been stuffing my face with so much junk food to try and scratch that itch but alas it didn’t work. I think it’s one of those days where a good nights sleep will fix it!

I’m glad I had this challenging experience today and I’m sure the next time I see a Christmassy pop up bar it will be less of a trigger! First’s are always a challenge. I found my first summer bbq quite challenging but by the 3rd bbq the triggers weren’t really there anymore.

It just goes to show that even if you’re 8 months in you have the work at sobriety everyday! For those panicking thinking oh my gosh it still sucks at 8 months sober it doesn’t haha, this has been a rare evening, I barely get cravings or think about alcohol anymore! Sobriety is SO worth it I promise you. IWNDWYT!

Still going strong, IWNDWYT

Long time Lurker and I need to make myself accountable and I've read that making a post can really help solidify this moment and decision. I apologize because this is a literal novel at this point.

It's only been a few days and I made a commitment to myself that I need to be done for good. I had 7 years of sobriety after binging on liquor almost daily after my first marriage. He was horribly abusive and I began to cope towards the end of the marriage to numb the pain. It didn't stop after I was rescued by my Mom and it got so much worse. I abused my body so much after getting divorced right before my 21st birthday. I ended up in the hospital at a .4 and I'm lucky to be alive. I stopped after a stay in the psych ward and intensive therapy for 3 months.

I met my current husband and I was sober until one day he asked if I wanted to drink with him after 4 years together. I was so excited that someone would let me drink again, but again it led to me drinking in secret and hiding bottles around the apartment. After David Bowie died I went on an epic binge bc he was extremely influential in my life and it was such a shock. That is when I agreed with my husband it was time to stop bc we were trying for a baby. I would use every negative pregnancy test as an excuse to drink my sorrow away. After I quit I got pregnant almost immediately which was such a blessing because I was 34 and scared it was too late for me.

I was then sober for 4 years and had a second kid at 36. I was in a lot of pain after she was born because I contacted C diff and I was misdiagnosed for a year. I did not drink and I was so proud of myself. Then we get to a new duty station and I couldn't find work so I started doing liquor tastings which was fine at first but eventually people began to pressure me and I caved because I had another dark cloud hanging over my head. One I couldn't ignore anymore.

When my daughter turned 4, I became so irratic and felt absolutely insane. I sought therapy and I had to finally admit outloud that one of my brothers abused me in everyway imaginable. I kept that secret unintentionally for so long. My husband didn't know but he cut my brother off years before because he still controlled me as an adult. It came to a head when my brother lost it on me over the phone and I was inconsolable. My husband grabbed the phone and told him that he was done hurting his wife. I was the final thread as my immediate family had already cut him off by then.

The memories became so much to bear and doing liquor tastings didn't help because you have to take the bottle with you when you are done with the tasting. It started again but I tried to control it because I was a mom now. I didn't have any blackouts but it wasn't healthy. Then I got a job third shift at a convenience store because it was the only time that worked with my husband's schedule. I began drinking after work to help me relax but no liquor this time. Seltzers became my new drink of choice. I eventually quit the day I was almost robbed via machete, but one of my customers fought him off and he fled after an extremely bloody scene. I haven't worked since because of the immense fear I have now.

We finally got out of the army and I was able to go home. I thought this would definitely help me quit because I finally have support and my family can help me with my kids. I still hadn't addressed the abuse from my brother with a professional but my family has had my back and supports me immensely. So why should I feel the need to drink? It started gradually and then I was sneaking drinks again after one of my childhood best friends passed away at 41 from a stroke right before we were supposed to be reunited after so many years apart.

Recently I was so depressed due to chronic and emotional pain. I had admitted to my doctor that I was having bad thoughts and he immediately had me start a partial hospitalization program for depression. This was what I needed and it was very intense and I was truly forced to face my childhood trauma in a safe environment. I was still drinking though and I felt like I deserved it because poor me. I finished the program and everyone was so proud of me, but I was still sneaking seltzers almost daily.

A few days ago my husband found my cans and he wasn't mad and I hate that he is so understanding sometimes. He told me he understands it's an illness but he needs me. No fighting, no yelling, but this is what has given me the kick I needed. It's only been a few days but I need to make myself accountable. I need to be a better wife and a better mom. My kids adore me and I feel like I don't deserve it because of poor coping skills.

I've been taking a different medication and I think it finally has started to achieve the full effect after a few weeks. I was taking 5 medications but I'm down to 2 now. Drinking will just make it more difficult. After a few days I'm finally feeling again. My libido has been absolutely non existent for a few years. I'm guessing it was a combination of the repressed memories and the previous medications. TMI but I have jumped my husband 3 days in a row and I finally achieved "enlightenment" during the act for the first time in a long time. I don't deserve this man, but I will never take him for granted.

If you made it this far, thank you for listening/reading. I truly appreciate this community so much. I will not drink today.

Let’s see, after almost a year of “moderation”, I’ve now had two instances of drinking way too much. I felt like hell all day today. My husband warned me too, he said if you don’t stop drinking right now you’re going to be hungover. I had two more after that and damn me for not listening to him. He knew. I fell and skinned me knee on the sidewalk. I threw up once this morning. I stayed horizontal all day. I’m trying not to hate myself. Where do I summon the will to stop? I say Day one, but I don’t even feel committed in my soul like I have been in the past.

Another reset for me. I learned a close family friend recently passed away and grief/stress are my biggest triggers. I am two days sober and cannot continue to drink. I always send stupid messages to people and feared I messaged something dumb to an extremely annoying customer at work. 2 days is still a start. IWNDWYT

I have been sober for 6 months and I have been thinking about drinking kombucha again, but I'm a little worried because it can have trace amounts of alcohol (legally it has to be under .5%).

Does anyone here have experience with kombucha after getting sober?

On day 40 being alcohol-free for the second time this year and also my second time experiencing the coming and going of the “pink cloud.”

The first round I made it to 2 months and was derailed by the typical “I’m cured and can handle it now” mistake, only to continue destroying myself with alcohol until this second legitimate attempt (there have many so many halfhearted day ones.) Yesterday was the first day since I this second attempt to quit that I truly considered breaking my streak. The pink cloud effect is something I have relied on both times to get me through, and I haven’t had experience sticking to abstinence once it inevitably fades.

I’m definitely readjusting and feeling better, but the rate of change slows down dramatically, and I’m starting to realize the grace period is over and I have to actually work on myself now. I was coasting on the novelty of feeling more like a normal person and, even though it is obviously a good thing, I am worried that life is going to be even more intolerable as I reach my alcohol-free baseline. I know the underlying issues of alcohol dependence need the energy and attention I’ve been wasting, and I understand more than ever the need to shift my mindset to truly get to work on myself. I’m simply dreading sorting through all the mental and physical mess I’ve been avoiding.

But thanks to you all and other great resources on the subject, I know what I need to do. I know I need to attack small corners and not overwhelm myself with everything all at once. I just have to be extra careful during this time and make sure I’m working on something everyday. Last time around this point in my abstinence I stopped listening to helpful podcasts and stopped actively trying to avoid alcohol, and I think that’s where I mainly failed. I will continue educating myself and referring to you wonderful people here. I won’t give in to any cravings today, that I know for sure. Tomorrow I start again and I’m looking forward to it. Thank you and have a great day everyone. I believe in you.

After many more attempts to simply moderate and mostly successful, I had the desire to get drunk last night and I did. Bourbon after bourbon until the deed was done. Nothing crazy happened, just really wanted to scratch the itch, I thought. I realize now, that my booze brain had simply taken the wheel and I had given up control. So as bad as I feel today, I am optimistic to be back on a path of self control and sobriety in my life. Thanks for all of your stories of success and pain. They always helped me on my previous stint to inoculate myself from complacency. IWNDWYT

I started trying to get sober about 8 years ago. I can't count the number of times I've relapsed. My longest stretch of sobriety was almost 3 yrs. I've been to thousands of AA meetings over the years, but drifted slowly away from it. I have a sponsor (or did, anyway) who I stopped calling when I stopped going to meetings. I went through the 12 steps two separate times, with two different sponsors, writing out long lists of my faults and the people I've hurt.

I read This Naked Mind twice. It's a really insightful book, imho... unfortunately it didn't work for me.

And once again, I'm back at Day 1. Not sure how many more of those I have in me

I'm trying to keep the self-loathing at bay but man I've really messed everything up this time, including the likelihood that I just blew up my marriage of 32 years.

Not a lot more to say right now other than I'm really glad this community exists. Thanks for reading this if you did.

oh, and IWNDWYT

I should be happy. I should be proud and ready to celebrate. Yet I am filled with the deepest of sorrow. The only person in the world I want to celebrate with, to talk to, to hold and to love isn't here. She's doing her best not to think of me at all. Burying her emotions in a younger man. I've never been privy to such profound grief as I am now. I've done all I can to change, to be better and yet she still won't have me back. I wonder, why keep going? Why stay sober if it doesn't make things better? Why keep living when all I've worked for is forever gone, out of my reach? My heart is still broken, shattered to pieces. Why not go back to drinking my liver to ash and my brain to dust? I can't see it today. I can't find the reason, and yet I keep pushing forward. Maybe I don't need a reason. Maybe to live, and to see the world clearly can be enough. Maybe.

Went on a second date. Guy was incredible, seemed genuinely sweet, being a gentleman, funny, successful, all the things I could want and we were hitting it off. I drove to dinner because I thought if I drove I wouldn’t drink as much. At the end of dinner I had only one glass of wine, but one is enough to want more. And I didn’t want the date to end and go home to my lonely apartment. I could have just left. But I suggested we go to another bar. We ended up drinking at two more places and instead of ubering I drove home. It was clear that I shouldn’t have drove and I was sloppy and unattractive. I think the most disappointing part is I’m pretty positive that he actually liked me until he saw me + alcohol. Haven’t heard from him since.

I’ve missed out on so much in my 20 years of drinking. Meaningful relationships and friendships, been fired from jobs, wasted so much time and money. I’m so afraid of showing the real me that I turn to alcohol to avoid the fear and uncomfortable feelings, but it’s cost me everything.

7 days alcohol free IWNDWYT

Got to around 5mths sober then went for that "one"... took around a week to build back up but I've been in oblivion for about the last month - litre of whisky each day (plus beers plus weed).

Finally stopped on Friday, had an awful weekend detoxing at home. Somehow my wife and kids are still here but I genuinely don't know if I still have a job in the morning- it's fucking scary.

But I'm resetting my badge- if someone can remind me how. IWNDWYT...

Been 2 years 8 months. Have cirrhosis diagnosed at 34. Really turned it all around. Surrounded myself with the right people. But they're gone. She is. I haven't wanted a drink in almost 3 years... where I live people drink. Just saw a bottle... burnettes vodka. Cheap. What I used to drink if I didn't have money. Hasn't bothered me in so long. Now... it's consuming my mind. No matter what path I take I wind up alone after being told I'll never leave you alone. I seek oblivion

im afraid i dont have the willpower or never will and that terrified me. im a very neurodivergent 29y/o woman … i live with family that i dont speak to and vice verse. ive always been a drinker but for the last year (nov 2023) ive been drinking every day, and i dont mean a couple of beers i mean a pint of vodka plus a couple of beers. lost my job because i was always too drunk or hungover to work properly. i woke up at 2pm today dizzy and vomiting, i did my makeup and got dressed and went to get another pint right.

im afraid of dying, im too lazy and drunk to look for work, all i do is sleep and drink…i dont ruin relationships or anything but im so depressed and awkward the only way i enjoy existence is by being drunk. i want to be healthy like i used to be a year ago…i dont even know where to start. every time i think of quitting it makes me want to drink more. it’s 5:30pm and im back in bed because im so hungover. idk what the point of this post is really. i just needed to say this.

I don’t know whether I woke up from the right side of the bed or if it was from my morning coffee, but I woke up incredibly happy and light. I went to church with my siblings and they spoke about gratefulness. And that made me realize how utterly grateful I am. I have the most amazing support system who know me and support me. I just feel so blessed and loved and I wanted to share it with everyone!

I never thought I’d get here, but I’m so grateful I have.

Anyone on day 1, 10, 14, 21 or 30 - KEEP GOING. You are so worth it, the magic starts the more space you put between yourself and your drinking. I used to be so mad that I wasn’t suddenly ‘better’ and my life wasn’t amazing by day 30.

At three months; -My relationship with myself is the strongest it’s ever been -As a result of this^ my relationships with everyone else have improved exponentially -No anxiety -Hair, skin and nails are TEFLON

No hangovers or regrets fucking rules - can’t wait for my first sober Christmas

IWNDWYT 😅

I started this journey on my own in hopes of being a better husband and partner in life. Not to mention I desperately needed to live my life as a healthier and more productive individual. My wife has been very supportive; praising me frequently for this achievement. She has also spoken of the fun we can have without alcohol getting in the way; oversleeping, feeling ill all the time etc. The problem is she is not cutting back even though she has said she will. I’m enjoying making extra trips to the market and not driving drunk to do so it’s an unexpected reward in all of this. How do I navigate this until she truly takes a step in the right direction? She sends me to the store to buy something and then adds a couple more beers and another pint of vodka to the list. She drinks as I was a month ago. Four strong beers, 1-2 pints of vodka (2 last nite) and mimosas. She calls in sick several times a month because of one reason or another but I am sure that drinking less would solve most of these issues. I am now scared she’ll be fired and we’ll lose our health insurance something a person like myself with an incurable lifelong disease cannot have happen. Back to my job search and maybe a NA beer. 😻 IWNDWYT

Edit: The oversleeping has always bugged me as I cannot due to the physical pain that wakes me even from the deepest of sleeps but I resent her now because I’d like to do something other than wait for her to get up so we can sit in front of the tv until bedtime. That’s it for now I suppose. Thanks for reading my rant.

This will be my first sober December/christmas time. I have work Christmas parties, nights out already booked in, endless family gatherings.

Part of me is really looking forward to it as I know how much more I get out of life when I’m sober, but I know it’s going to be so difficult.

One thing keeping me motivated is when “dry January” rolls around I will already be almost 60 days sober! It will be amazing starting 2025 sober.

Hope everyone has an amazing sober Christmas time 🙏🏻

So I drank again the week of Thanksgiving, enjoying some beer and celebrating my husband's birthday. While I drank everyday, nothing bad happened and I only got close to blacked out one night. So I'm starting December as a dry month. My concern comes is that alcohol has been such a major part of my life. I know my major triggers and I'm acknowledging when they occur. I do not know how to overcome or have a solution to let's go out. What else is there to do?

My favorite thing is going out to dinner with my husband having good food and a glass of wine. Usually those times I don't even drink too much. That comes after dinner and I come home and continue to drink.

I want to step away and repair my body from drinking heavily. So what else is there to do? I would love to have some ideas from this group of what activities or places y'all go out that don't involve alcohol. I know the sober community is growing but I feel like my first thought is good food and good wine.

Any suggestions would be appreciated to help me plan to get through the holidays coming! I really want to make it one month! I've never been able to do one month before and that would be a huge accomplishment

I feel so embarrassed by the idea of going back to work this monday. I ended up having too much to drink at the party and made a complete fool of myself. I don't remember a thing and woke up the next day at a police station ward and a couple nurses. I immediately called my friend when I left and asked him WTF happened. He said I threw up all over myself and fell down or something, then blacked out completely. Some other people called an ambulance because I was unresponsive and that's how I ended up in a hospital bed. I'm still so worried if I really did or said something stupid (apart from drinking too much) that my friend didn't want to tell me, and I'm also worried if I will be called by HR and face some consequences. I don't consider myself a heavy drinker and have always been proud of having some self control but I don't know how I let this happen to myself this time. I hate myself so much...

Question is title. When the cravings hit and your brain starts telling you all those little reasons and excuses why its ok to drink or to have just one more...which is never just the one...how do you stop? What works for you?

Im struggling and need suggestions. Thank you.

I came in mostly to get a bunch of work done today, but rather than do so I've spent the vast bulk of my time on this sub - reading/responding/empathizing/sympathizing.

Mostly, though, I've been trying to learn from people; co-celebrating (or mostly envying because I'm human) people of their triple and four digit day count stories (you always awe me) or commiserating at the inevitable admissions of relapse (you awe me as well, because admitting to relapse and coming right back here takes a fair amount of grit) and filing them away as ammunition against my own.

A couple moments ago I looked at the clock and had that 'man you've just wasted an entire day on reddit and barely got any work done' feeling.

Then it was immediately replaced by 'but is anything more important than getting sober right now?'

So I hit the refresh button on my browser and continued to scroll down a bit. Work can wait.

Today I learned the crushing news that one of my best friends died in a freak lapse of judgement. He passed away in the dead of night & I learned about it this afternoon. Sadly, his last moments were under the influence of alcohol.

I met him in Rehab during June of 2023. We immediately connected and despite me being 10 hours from home. I learned that we lived in the same town. Our sobriety dates were 7 days apart. After returning from rehab we infrequently kept in touch, just to see if we were doing good.

Luckily enough he started working with me, not even to my knowledge. I was just as surprised to see him as he was me. Over the past year we have been very involved in one another’s sobriety. Making sure we are each doing what we need to be, in order to learn the life of sobriety. Really just enjoying are new lives we carved out for ourselves.

I am happy to have met him and am proud to say that I knew the best version of him. One lapse in judgement will keep us apart in this life.

But my commitment to honoring him will be to hold sobriety closest to my heart. I will not drink today

Hi all, I am really nervous about the amount of peer pressure I am going to be receiving tonight. My husbands friends are in town and we’re going to a nice restaurant. One is clearly an alcoholic who disapproves of anyone who doesn’t drink and brags about getting drunk at 9am. The other is a wine snob who just got back from a trip to Burgundy, France and who likes to impress the table with a fancy bottle of this or that.

I don’t want to drink and it might make them uncomfortable if I don’t. I’m so sick of people-pleasing, and doing what other people want me to do but it also sucks because I really fucking like wine and it’s hard to say no. UGH! I am considering not going, there aren’t any mocktails on the menu online for me to have a game plan as far as what I’m ordering.

Just feeling nervous. I want to participate in dinner but honestly am really sick of the energy of the people who think I am someone who should do what they are doing just so they aren’t uncomfortable.

Hi friends! My witching hours are around 4p on the weekends and after I get home from work on a weekday. My habit for the last several years has been to take a adderall and immediately start drinking wine at least 1-2 bottles. I’m looking to start a new routine but I literally have no idea what to do with myself instead. I do have a husband and daughter and daughter does do activities some evenings and historically my hubby would drive her around bc I would have already started drinking 🤷‍♀️ please share What your evening routines look like and do you set certain times for things to stay on track or more go with the flow?

I made it through thanksgiving sober. I posted uplifting messages and was really proud. We can do this! Then last night I relapsed. I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I'm embarrassed at how strong I said I was a few days ago. I'm not strong in any way. Anyway, IWNDWYT

As the title suggests, this is my first day giving up booze and it is horrible.

I am determined to give up drinking because it is so expensive. I'm spending hundreds of pounds a month but also, I am concerned of the health risks.

The trouble is people keep reccommending AA meetings. I went to one and it depressed me so much that I ended up drinking when I came home. I also hated the whole "I am X and I am an alcoholic" bullshit- somehow being reminded felt like I was being demeaned.

Also, I hate this whole you have to WANT to give up drinking. I do want to (for the reasons listed above) but that's because I NEED to as opposed to really wanting to.

I'm sitting here at 21:15 and I feel under so much stress. Alcohol has been my crutch for so long and now I feel like i'm under more stress.

Any advice on how to keep going ?

I don’t think I’m a typical alcoholic but I’m not sure that’s even a thing. I’d like to write this out and see if anyone drinks/drank similarly and if I can glean any additional insight.

I started drinking at around 16 at house parties with friends. Pretty typical stuff - no real issues. I can’t recall any particularly problematic or unusual drinking behaviours although I did puke from drinking from time to time but I’ve always had a weak stomach.

When I went to university, it was much of the same. Actually there was a time when I didn’t really drink at all as I was unhappy and not really going out. This is when I started smoking weed a lot- like all day every day. I transferred universities to be closer to home and my high school friends and the high school style of drinking started again but now going out to bars as well. The weed smoking went down but was still very popular with my friends and I. I did really well at the new university and graduated with honours. I was still drinking in what I think of now as “normal” drinking but I acknowledge there was a lot of college style binge drinking.

I then went on to law school. I started doing cocaine occasionally and continued the college style bing drinking. I also started drinking alone sometimes but not very frequently and only beer/wine.

After law school, I was quite stressed at my first job. I remember after a long night of work, I stopped at a bar on the way home to have a couple of drinks to wind down. I can’t remember if I only did this once but it was not more than a couple of times.

As life progressed, I met the love of my life. I started staying at her place and would have trouble sleeping in the same bed as someone else so I would make myself a drink from time to time. I’m sure it wasn’t just about the sleeping situation- there was a lot going on emotionally with this relationship where I felt like I had finally found the love of my life.

We eventually moved in together and I would sneak drinks every once in a while late at night. I would never get wasted but just have 1-3 drinks maybe every few weeks- hard to remember the frequency. We got married, moved into a house and kept a liquor cabinet. I would do the same thing from time to time. The partying with friends also continued with coke and MDMA on the weekends as well as binge drinking. As I got older and the hangovers got worse, I would try to drink off the hangover the next day sometimes. I had a major episode a couple of years ago when my wife caught me going into the liquor cabinet the day after one of these party nights. I took 90 days off drinking after that and it wasn’t too difficult.

After that, I practiced moderation fairly well but eventually sneaking 1-3 drinks at night happened sporadically. I would go months on end without doing it and I knew it was a really bad sign but I would eventually go back to it. When my friend died earlier this year I did it again and I said that’s the last straw, wrote out a commitment to myself, and took a month off drinking completely. I practiced moderation very well for 3-4 months, which brings me to this last major event. My wife was away for 10 days or so. The first few days were fine but then I went out partying with some friends and had a wild night of drinking and cocaine. I woke up the next day feeling horrible. I tried drinking it off and going to sleep. When I woke up I still felt like shit so I drank again. I repeated this pattern for five days with no food and probably very little water. On the fifth day my wife hadn’t heard from me for 24h and got very concerned. Long story short, paramedics were called and they found me in bed totally incoherent and very drunk. They took me to the hospital in an ambulance and I have a very high BAC. I could have died multiple ways. I’m now dealing with the aftermath and going to get an an assessment at a facility tomorrow.

Difficult to describe but maybe like a self fulfilling prophecy? For a while I went to meetings and read all the books and followed all the accounts and had therapy etc but I sort of wonder if all of this wasn’t making it MORE difficult to abstain? Like it’s keeping drinking at the forefront of my mind?

Every day I still casually think about drinking. Not that I consider drinking but it is in my thoughts. I’m almost to a year and feel pretty secure. But when I’m in these helpful settings it naturally occupies more space, and I don’t want sobriety to becomes my whole personality.

It’s almost easier day to day if I just check in and avoid everything else.

People have different tools and I have a great home group meeting with people I mesh with, so it’s not that my group is toxic or anything.
I just wonder if constantly surrounding myself with sobriety content and groups I’m embracing more difficultly than just living my normal life …that happens to be alcohol free. I already know I can’t do PM meetings or I’ll want to drink more than usual.

Anyone else?