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If me at 16 saw who I am at 33, he wouldn't believe I was the same person.

I was shy, nervous and afraid to talk to people.

Now I'm confident, comfortable speaking up and can communicate better.

16 year old me would never believe that I can talk to patients with confidence, let alone other people.

If I can put it down to one thing, it's this:

The Batman effect.

But what is the batman effect?

You basically adopt an alter ego.

You pretend to be someone who portrays the characteristics you want or need.

The Batman effect's name comes from a research study with 3 groups of children.

Each group was asked to do a boring task for as long as possible.

To make it tricky, an Ipad with games was placed nearby to distract them.

Group 1 was told to ask themselves "Am I working hard enough" when the task got too boring.

Group 2 was told to think of themselves in the 3rd person and ask if they were working hard enough when they found it too boring.

Group 3 was asked to adapt the persona of their favourite fictional hero, such as Batman, before starting the task. They were then told to ask "Is batman working hard?" when the task got too boring.

The group that adopted alter egos were able to work longer on the boring task.

Adapting an alter ego allowed the children to use self distancing to perform better.

Self distancing is the process of adopting a 3rd person or observer perspective.

It creates space between your subjective emotions and thoughts and allows you to become more objective and improve self control.

Using an alter ego helped me deal with my insecurities and anxiety.

I wasn't held back by them anymore.

I was able to become more confident, communicate better and perform at my best.

Eventually these behaviours became second nature as I gained more confidence.

So much that I no longer had to rely on the alter ego as often.

I still use the alter ego effect to this day. Whenever I'm feeling nervous or to help me deal with a new situation.

I think of someone who would be good at dealing with that situation and act as they would.

If you're interested in learning more about the alter ego effect, then check out the book The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman.

17M and rock bottom, I have aquaintances and school friends but no one to hangout with. I also have joined clubs like suggested but idk what else I can try. The issue is I have autism, no social skills and social anxiety. Idk how to change these things. I have been wanting to make a change for 2 yrs but just never have made any progress despite putting myself out there. I have also tried to connect with other autistics. I just don’t know how to connect with anyone my age. I also want a gf but realise I need friends before that. I just don’t know how to get them.

I was talking to this guy online and we met on reddit then started talking on a different platform. I think he blocked me because he found out I was talking to other people. I lied and told him I was in love with him, he's 60 and I'm 21 and he wouldn't do the best things, like if I said no to saying nudes he'd make me feel bad for it and basically guilt trip me into sending them, then one time during an argument he said I should just kill myself, I learned that that was basically threatening suicide and he wasn't the best person. He basically found out I was cheating and blocked me. I never really fully understood we were in a relationship, I did like him and we planned to move in together but I didn't think we'd really do it, i feel awful, I think I'm going to kill myself

I don't know how I can over come this guilt, do I deserve this? Is it my fault if he kills himself?

I didn't think we were really in a relationship but I did lie and say I am in love with him and I did say I wanna move in together. I didn't think we were dating though for real so I don't know if it was cheating but I know he'd be hurt if he found out I was talking to other people

i basically kept talking to him so he'd buy me stuff and give me attention, but I also did give him stuff in extange like nudes and I admitted I didn't like sending him stuff but he would praise me for doing it because he said he knew it was hard for me

I literally knew I was talking to him bc I was desperate and bc he would buy me stuff, using someone like that is unforgivable and I don't deserve to live.

I was talking about it with a friend and I literally admitted I wasn't in love with him and talked to him because he bought me stuff. but I don't think that was true because I truly did want to be in a relationship eventually and I wanted to make him happy, I felt proud every time I sent him a nude that was hard for me to take and I did want to do couple things with him. I stopped asking for gifts because I felt bad

I wasn't just talking to him because he bought me stuff but it was definitely a reason I put up with sending him nudes and stuff..

I did try to please him and genuinely want to please him by sending nudes, every time he said those things it made me feel extremely bad about myself, I would feel guilty for not sending him what he wanted and then I would do it , but at the end of the day I still took advantage of him for gifts and I wasn't truly in love with him

But to be honest I didn't belive he was in love with me either.. I thought he was lonely and desperate like I was, because we never met and only had been talking for a few months, I didn't understand the weight of saying I love you and I really did want to make him happy for a while

I didn't even ask for him to start sending me gifts, I was talking to him just for him until one day he offered to and he did it a few times and I was like oh i shouldn't cut things off with him in case he wants to send me more, I feel horrible for having that mindset and I know it was wrong

I know I shouldn't have lied about being in love with him, I don't think I ever said I was in love with him but I did say I love you when he would say it to me because I was scared if I didn't he would be sad or upset, i

I don't hate myself that much, but at the same time I can't say that I like myself, a lot of times I do stuff that I don't want to do and it feels like I'm just watching myself, it's like we're separated, I'm not controlling me and I hate that person and the things that he does sometimes.

So how can I love this person when I know that he can be a absolute piece of shit sometimes? He does some stuff that I really hate to the point where I'm trying to act like that's not me who's doing all of that..

(English is not my first language so sorry if my post was kinda messy)

When a person loves, cares, respects, and honors themselves first as well as fill themselves up that they don’t depend on other people for validation, does this mean that the person is going to be more grounded in a relationship? That they won’t be needy of their partner?

I can’t seem to figure out if I’m being needy or I’m lacking self-love. I personally continuously express my love for my partner. Since we’re in long distance, most of my expression comes through messaging her, letting her know I love her, supporting her in ways that I can. My partner on the other hand, I know she loves me but she isn’t the best at expressing things the way I do them and there is a part in me that wishes she would. I become needy in a way.

Does this mean that I need to improve on loving myself more? Improve on understanding her more? So that I wouldn’t depend on her? What if I just wanted to feel that love from her through her expressing it? Does that mean I’m needy?

I’m sorry if I may seem confusing because I’m still trying to navigate my own thoughts. I told my partner about it last week. I told her about my issues with being clingy towards her and the expectations I have for her that aren’t being met that make me disappointed. We understood that there were differences between the two of us. I can’t force her to be someone she’s not but I cannot deny that some of my needs aren’t being met. I wanted to know what it is she wants to happen. What it is she wants but she couldn’t answer me. She said she needed time to think and so I gave her the time she needs. It’s been more than a week and we haven’t spoken since.

I may have deviated from the initial topic but it’s to give more context. If you could provide your own thoughts, I would appreciate it.

I'm not in a really bad shape at the moment, physically - mentally - emotionally, but I am growing and curious on what are something I can try out (call it a monthly experience) to shake my life up a little bit and possibly, improve it in way I wouldn't expect. Anything suggestion is appreciated.

I (27F) was just broken up with by my ex (29M) because we had been together almost 7 years since college and he feels like he has always been in a relationship and never had that time to grow up and learn to love/find himself. He says he still loves me but the spark hasn’t been lit lately because he has been depressed and he needs to go off on his own for some soul searching to make sure he can focus on himself and not rely on just me to provide him with happiness and help him out of depression holes.

In all actuality - I can see the reasoning in this being valid as much as it hurts me to say and while I am sad we couldn’t work on all of this together, I don’t want to be with someone who can’t find love for me because they can’t find a way to love themself.

That all being said, I have just been a mess the last few days trying to process this and pack up my life and one of my dogs (he is keeping one so I have to separate from not only him but my other dog which adds to this) and I really want to be able to see through this hurt and pain of losing my person and do the same thing he wants to do for myself.

How can I get out of this constant feeling of hurt and pain and confusion and start my own self improvement journey? I want to take something positive from this! Right now I just keep hoping one day the stars will align and we will meet again after these separate journeys but I want to do this for me, not the hope of re-kindling.

For extra context: I am self aware that I have an anxious attachment style and he is more of an avoidant so I’m learning now that a lot of issues got left unsaid by him and then poured out all at once from him about himself and our relationship and he had already had time to process and decide to end things whereas I am still very much going from planning a weekend getaway to being told that night that he wants to be alone for a while and trying to process all of this. There is no other person either, he genuinely values independence and wants to experience that for at least a year he says so he really is being truthful there.

i’m f21 and today at 12pm, i was officially diagnosed with bpd. i have never felt so happy. obviously it sucks, but now i know there’s actually something wrong with me and im not just stuck like this

but my life is going nowhere. i live in a toxic household and i want to get out, but im scared. im scared to grow up and be on my own

i have a job and i make $16 and hour, but i dont particularly care about it. it’s a vitamin store and i learn a lot, but i dont care about vitamins

i dont know how to drive, but i just went practice driving for the first time

i’m in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is about to move out of his moms house. he’s known about my situation since we were just friends and he always says i could move with him, but he’s in the east coast and i’m in the west coast. i know moving out would be the best thing, but i am terrified to be alone

i really want to work on my independence and “adulting,” but i have no idea what that means or where to start

I have to say I'm in a rather rattled state of mind, because its finals week and I havent afforded myself a single calm minute. The problem is you see, that I 22M only have 2 classes with no job, Intro to Programming and Trigonometry. I'm not a genius, but Im beginning to accept the reality that I might do far more poorly in those classes than I had initially set out to. I am addicted to porn, mentally stuck on the same person, chronically socially anxious/inhibited such that I avoid my own close friends, struggling in a new degree while all my friends are graduating, and cant keep a sleep schedule or diet to save a life. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but I grew up in a decent home with a healthy family, so I dont feel justified in struggling with these disorders, even if I suspected them to be behind my shortcomings in life (and I wouldnt). Im getting tested for ADHD and that could very well prove to be the hidden scourge behind my pitfalls, but in the meantime, what can I do to finally get my shit together, and more importantly, how can I KEEP my shit together?? Any advice, encouragement, or empathy would be appreciated, thank you so much for reading

I have been a straight A student most of my life. However during covid I lost my spark. In 11th grade I had really bad results for the 1st time. Ever since then my results have not been the best and I can not get myself to study much. It is not because the subjects are really hard or anything, I just can't get myself to study. I stress about not studying yet I keep on wasting my time doing useless things. When I do sit to study I can never study more than 10 minutes, losing my focus easily. I wait till the day before exam to rush through everything and the results are obviously disappointing. I do not know how to fix this and no, I don't think I am depressed. I think I am pretty happy with my life. Also I can't really go to a counsellor or a therapist as mental health isn't taken very seriously where I am from.

I’ve hit a breaking point with my daily routine and I’m reaching out for some guidance. Lately, I’ve been feeling utterly trapped in a cycle of monotony, and my addiction to my phone and internet browsing is the crux of the issue. I’m tired of spending the majority of my time mindlessly scrolling through feeds and losing track of time. It’s become abundantly clear that I need to make a change.

After some contemplation, I’ve decided my first step will be to relocate my PC setup to the living room tomorrow. This way, I can still use it when necessary for tasks like printing or scanning, but I’ll be more mindful of my usage since it will be in a communal space.

But this is just one step in the right direction. I know there’s more I can do to break out of this cycle and reclaim intentional time usage. Does anyone have general advice on routine breakers and strategies to regain control? I have hobbies I already like and want to get back in to but I always seem to be sucked back into the internet.. it doesn't help that I get most of my socialisation from it which keeps me coming back. I’m open to any and all suggestions.

Have you faced a similar struggle with feeling trapped in your routine and battling internet addiction? How did you break free? What tips or techniques have helped you regain control over your time and live more intentionally? Please feel free to share anything that can help me and hopefully others who come across this post.

*edit; I have been wanting to delete things like twitter, instagram, facebook etc but feel weirdly scared to do so, like I will lose something more than just a time sucker? I need a push to go through with it I think.

Thanks in advance for your support and advice!

Yes, this is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. No, this is not a troll post, I actually want help and don't know where to go.

For some context, I'm 19M, white and American. I was raised in a small town with some rather conservative views. As a child and young teen I prided myself in not believing the racist shit my parents said. Both of my parents are every type of bigot; misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, and of course extremely racist. I've been able to unwrap and unlearn most of the other shit. When it came to their racism, it was mostly anti-black racism. I didn't really know any black people growing up, so I always ignored what my parents said. But around the age of 17 I moved to the suburbs. This means new neighbors, a new school, and new classmates. But despite living in a nicer area, I faced more issues.

In school, the vast majority of the violent and bigoted bullies were black students. I was constantly seeing black students get suspended for shit like harassing gay and trans kids, bringing knives to school, starting fights, talking back to the teachers, and purposely breaking things in the restrooms. These students also tended to be the loudest in the classrooms, and often talking over the teacher and disrupting class. And these students were the same ones in our neighborhoods. I remember being told to avoid certain routes home because a group of these students would harass anyone they saw. This harassment sometimes escalated to violence.

Obviously white people do this shit too, but I was mainly witnessing black people do it. It wasn't long until I started getting nervous around black students and black people altogether. This nervousness slowly turned into something more hateful and I found myself agreeing with my parents. And even now, a shooting happened down the street from me recently. No one was hurt, but a house was shot up. They found the group responsible, and yeah, they were black.

Whenever I start having hateful thoughts I tell myself that a small group of people don't represent an entire population, that poverty and generational trauma attributes to crime, that historically the black population has been held back by a racist society, and so on. But telling myself these things doesn't change my personal experiences. And I find myself even more embittered when I see human rights activists using male crime statistics to demonize men while excusing black crime statistics. I know I need therapy, but I fear judgement (not to mention I can't afford it). I know I'm wrong, I know I'm racist. I don't want to be. I hate being hateful. I really don't want to do at this point.

Hello.

I didn't do high school properly. My parents took me to a different country when I was still underage. I made my way to a business diploma. Started working as a construction general labour, in a restaurant, as gardener, and more. Then I went to work in a company that fabricated glue, did lots of Amazon FBA work, inventory management, admin work, and even made the glue myself. Quit that and started my own construction company "with" my dad, "with" because I did all the sales, my dad didn't do any sales call in all the time, I registered the company, got the insurance, the license, tax number, everything. Went to get clients over and over, one of my clients took +1.5 years going back to hear "no" until I heard yes. We came from an unknown name to +200 successful projects completed in over 2 years. We have steady work flow. Married a wonderful, smart, beautiful woman.

My parents are separating, the business relationship just ain't working anymore and I am leaving for my own peace and development. I will work wherever to feed my family; walmart, mcdonald's, whatever to put food in the table.

My purpose: Build another company from scratch. Master my sales skills, mainly B2B. Develop laser focus and incessant effort ability.

From the pain to seeing the parents I grew up falling apart, to the highest. From this moment, from the worst pain I've ever felt in my life I will develop the best version of myself until now. I always grew from pain. This won't be a different case. LET'S. GO.

Not trying to be depressing here. But I've noticed that I have no drive or desire to do anything of myself. I feel so completely and utterly useless at anything and have yet to find an activity that I enjoy doing, let alone something I am good at. In my free time (if I'm not pursuing my useless sociology degree) all I do is doom scroll on tiktok and twitter. Most of the content I consume is usually about movies or self-care bullshit. I spend so much time consuming content I have lost the ability to be curious and create anything.

When I was younger I wanted to be a director and had all these ideas about stories I wanted to tell and who I wanted to be. Now, I know I don't have the sauce, you know? Yeah I like movies but I don't have anything to say. No life experience, no real struggle. I don't try anything. I don't even know how one begins trying. Anyway, I'm not a fully fledged person at all. I don't feel like a person. I'm just here.

Point is: I feel pressure to make something of myself. I have to get a job soon since I'm completing my undergrad next year and I have no clue what to do. I don't want to sell myself you know. I don't want to work a random job and be miserable like most people I know after their undergrad. I'm obviously going to have to, I don't think I'm immune to shitty jobs, but its the fact that I don't have an objective after that.

I'm not working towards anything. I don't have an end goal. I don't know what I want. I guess I'm writing this asking for help. How do I begin to try again? To be curious, to create, to experience things, to stop being behind a screen consuming endless content. How do I become part of my surroundings, part of the world around me?

I know this is all slightly cringe but I'm honestly asking. I don't feel like I'm good at anything and want to be care again.

Hey everyone, for most of my life I feel like I've been a pretty empathetic and sympathetic person. I could always feel emotions from people and would try to be the person that took the brunt of a person's bad day. I always kept things bottled up and I exploded about four years ago and I could see the fear in their eyes because they never really have seen me behave that way.

As I watched the news/read the news I'd always feel terrible about the people you'd hear that were killed and murdered. I always thought it was tragic. The thing though is that I'm so use to it now, that I see death as something as a natural part of life. It's sad to lose a loved one yes, but when I see it happened to strangers and people I don't know I kind of just go, well, that sucks" and move on. Like I'm use to it, like how that's how life *is*.

For example, 600,000 at least die from the flu in the USA each year...but no body seems to care, but when 3 people that are murdered are the top topic of the news that day people want to be sad about it. When I point that to people they rage at me and some even wish death upon myself. I mean, It's the internet, I understand that so it's whatever, but why do people react in such a hateful manner when I tell the truth and point out those facts? This is where I really need your help. What am I saying that's angering people? It's true isn't it? 600,000 people die from the flu and many more from heart disease than homicide but people don't seem to be sad about those strangers that died from the flu or heart disease, just the 2-3 people that were killed in a shooting, as an example.

People also tend to get angry when I point out the logic, such as every living thing eventually dies, like leaves on a tree, and are eventually forgotten and replaced by new leaves, like life. We will all die, most of us forgotten and we will be replaced by newborns and the cycle repeats. People seem to get angry when I bring that up as well when people want to dwell on just a few people that were killed on a news report. I mean, am I wrong?

People seem to rage at me when I'm logical about serious topics like death. I just don't understand it. Help me improve.

What am I saying that's wrong? I want genuine feedback because I want to be better. Am I lacking tact? I can see that if that's the case.

I think this callousness I've developed might be a defense mechanism because I hate dwelling on tragedies. I hate that they even happen to begin with, so I think maybe if I can logically think about how life is instead of through emotion then I can handle and cope better? Could that be what is happening?

I'd like to think that I'm self aware enough to see my flaws, but I can't pin point them. I'd love feedback on what I'm doing wrong so that I can improve as a person.

Maybe subconsciously I think that nobody would really care when I'm gone one day, so maybe that's another reason why I'm a bit apathetic, I'm not really sure.

Thank you.

Ok Reddit I need to know if this is a disorder or if anybody else is facing this.

The only time I'm strong is when others around me fall apart. Sounds cool right, no terrible.

It has caused me to drag my ass and become a complete grumpy ass that is borderline abusive in the good times. To just wait for things to fall apart to look im the steady hero.

While in reality I didn't do anything for six months and showed up at the end.

Does any one else self destruct like this?

1. 33 year old female, part time job, no car, fear of driving, waste time online I should use to job hunt

2. Not very good with communication. I either try to ignore it/minimize but eventually I will lose my patience. I worry that I'm too sensitive/thin-skinned if I get offended. I want to be the "chill" type of person. I fester a lot of resentment inside. In my mind, the worst possible thing is to be too sensitive because it means you are weak and pathetic.

3. With my part time teaching job, I wanted to be the chill teacher. Students felt comfortable playing with my fun, leaving the classroom a mess, and talking back to me.

(16F Autistic) Hello all, pardon me if I'm not good at English. And pls don't dare judging for all the awful things I've done mentioned in this post.

For short background, I have two siblings: one of them severely autistic brother and the other who is my older sister, not autistic. Additionally, I have a narcissistic father.

recently, I have been reflecting on beginning a path of personal growth and how it can positively impact my family. I've already committed to making the habit of ensuring I and my brother drink enough water daily & currently want to start practicing self-care more.

But for all the horrible stuff I've done during my childhood and adolescent years, like the time when I used to cheat a lot on online middle school, or the time when I nearly SA'd my severely autistic brother when he was sleeping and didn't tell my parents ( this was when I was 15 and he was 12), it always kills the determination of overcoming my obstacles and building a better life for myself and my family. It makes me feel that I deserved all the bad stuff that happened to me back when I was being bullied and sometimes SA'd by those hooligans back in public elementary school, I'm not worthy of anything like happiness, passion, forgiveness, or unconditional love, and I'll be forever a bad and unintelligent person, just like my father. I always feel so remorseful and guilty, knowing that I should've done better.

Should I consider therapy and forgive myself for everything I had done? And, what can I do to improve the way I treat myself and my loved ones, so I can create a more fulfilling and positive life for all of us?

I (22f) sometimes struggle with committing to things, mainly pertaining to jobs and such. I’m currently sending in some applications on Upwork for some one-time jobs to get some money and I’m not even sure I want to send them because I’m worried about all the what-ifs. “What if it ends up being too much, what if I can’t do it, etc.” I do actually want to start freelancing and working towards this but ik my fear is holding me back. How do I combat this better? Thanks all!

I want to stop always thinking the worst but i also don’t want to let myself down if the worst ends up happening. what do i do?

Please do not judge me. I'm coming from a place of wanting to change.

​

I've disliked children and didn't want to have them for most of my life. However, as I've been healing and trying to connect to my inner child, I've started disliking them less and less and I'm even open to the idea of having kids. (I am not keen on having any and wouldn't anytime soon if ever because I know I wouldn't be a good parent). I still do not particularly like children under the age of 5. I particularly dislike toddlers still. I view them as similar to my dad who had NPD. Demanding, egocentric, critical, control freaks, inconsiderate, etc. My dad would always frequently remind me and my siblings that we were a burden/nuisance to his life. Logically, I know they are like this because they are still developing and haven't learned social rules. I want to be more understanding of them because I know they are vulnerable humans who do not know any better. I think my lack of emotional availability is another problem, relating to feeling like I can't take their demands. Another thing is how they try to be so in control and whine and cry when things don't go their way. I see how it triggers me to want to withdraw and even neglect the child (if I had one). How do I learn to love toddlers more? Has anyone had a similar experience?

Hi guys. I consider myself a good person. I try very hard to keep aligned with my morals and be considerate towards others. Because I have such a strong moral standing, and a very short temper, I find myself lashing out at people in unnecessarily aggressive and mean ways.

It’s never for nothing, it’s when someone has been intentionally shitty to me or someone else, like when people flake on work so I end up having to pick up on slack, or when other people are being overtly mean. Then I just become so cruel and go way overboard. I’ll swear at people, or use a mean high pitched voice to mock them.

I always look back on how I delivered my piece and cringe at my aggression and cruelty. I don’t want to be a push over, I want to speak my mind. But I want to find a way to do so without becoming aggressive and rude. I know what to do in theory, but in practice I just loose my temper too quickly and feel so passionate about putting them in their place I end up becoming the asshole, even when I have a valid point. Any suggestions?

In social settings, I was rejected to the point where I eventually became numb to everything. Nothing is sad, nothing hurts, its just empty and a little bit irritating and confusing. So to other people, I appear arrogant and rude because of my emotional nubness. I am always confused on the inside nowadays and that makes my opinions constantly shift on everything. I guess i do it to be liked and gain attention, when i really just need to like myself. And i have been rejecting my true feelings for such a long time that I dont know how I feel towards things. I'm too busy focusing on how others feel about me. I suspect I have symptoms of narcissism. But what I'm saying is, how can I connect to my emotions again? How can I find out mind true opinion and stop changing myself to impress others? But it's a little scary to step back into myself again. I'm afraid that when I connect to my emotions, I will not have anyone to support me. Cause that's how I became this confusing creature anyways.

19M. I was in college for half of a year but left due to joining the Navy. Long story short, I’m out of the military and am now unemployed. I have decided to go back to college in order to get a degree in Business with a concentration in Accounting to start a career as an accountant. I feel really happy with my decision.

Now, I’m going to be working on other aspects of my life to change. I’m going to apply to cashiering jobs (which I’m qualified for) to pay for my college, set a schedule and adhere to it. I do want to feel more comfortable and confident with myself but I’m going to wait for my hair to grow it first. I’m trying to live a minimalistic lifestyle to a certain extent, so I’m going to sell things that I don’t want nor need. Also making a set of rules for myself.

Is there any other way that I can be better?

I (24M) have been overweight for about 2-3 years now. It doesn’t really show IRL but number-wise I weigh 103 kg (227 pounds) and I’m 185 cm (approximately 6’1), exceeding my BMI by roughly 20 kg (44 pounds).

The problem is that I can’t continually commit to losing weight because I just love to eat. Every time I try to go through the process, I give up after 1 or 2 weeks. It’s too difficult to commit to a certain eating pattern that bores the crap out of you, doesn’t make you full and makes you hate anything remotely related to a healthy lifestyle. I’m not an athlete or anything but I just want to be satisfied with the way I look, especially since summer is approaching.

I got other issues I wanna work on, but I feel like like I need to address this first because I’m 24 and I feel like it’s gonna be even harder to lose weight as I get older.

I only know this from sleep deprivation. When I always have to travel somewhere and don't sleep too much because of it, I always end up being super manic and energized in the evening (before falling asleep within 2 minutes after laying down...).

I feel as if a "manic state" is the only way to get things done. I already take Ginkgo, Ginseng, Caffeine but they just make me more alert, but not more motivated.

Any advice? Other supplements? Breathing exercises? Hypnosis? Trying to sleep only every second day? I really need something which will make me highly motivated with billions of ideas. Otherwise I am a lazy, thoughtless slump who is just interested in watching YouTube.

As the title states, on paper, I am doing pretty good in life. I have a good job, make decent money, making positive strides in my health, happy in my relationship with my girlfriend and son, and I still feel like I do not have any direction in my life. My job offers tuition assistance so I thought about going back to school. Not sure what I would study. I already have a degree in education but work in different field. Is there some checklist of things I could pursue in terms of fulfillment? If I should go back to school, how do I decide what to study? Should I get another job to keep myself occupied while making a little more money?

Some information about me:

I am 24M.

Work early morning shift supervisor for UPS.

I have my son the majority of the week. Son is 5 years old. ( Mother and I no longer together).

Graduated in 2020 but haven't started teaching.

Tuition assistance program with job so cost would not be an issue.

ANY HELP OR ADVICE IS APPRECIATED!!!

I recently started the inner child healing journey with my therapist. I’m really trying hard to imagine what was suggested to me - imagine your grown self hugging and comforting the child version of you.

But how can I do that if my grown self is also crying? All the self-love affirmations have been said, but I’m still grieving.

Hey guys. How you handle it consuming entertainemt ( e.g. Tv Shows,movies,social media,anime,manga,fiction books ) and maybe have the thought or you know that this all is time waste even though you enjoy it? Because in long term you don't benefit from it as a whole. Though we know humans can not be productive 24/7 cause they will burnout from it or other serious issues.

Here as example the most want to relax after work and just watch any show or consuming entertainemt. However, it is not better to consume something that is not productive but is still relaxing but still helps you to improve yourself. It would be better to make the most of every day to become even better than before, that is the best thing for you as a person, isn't it? For example, instead of watching a series, you can watch something that is relaxing but still helps you to improve, for example YouTube videos that are a bit more educational. Or do something that is relaxing, for example reading books or drawing.

Everyone can do what he likes to do but i think we can do more about it as we think and many people just using some excuses to contain on the entertainment. I know there is balance and moderation you do about it but i think there is just other solutions you can do that are slightly better in the longterm.

I don't know if I'm exaggerating..we know human life is limited and we should use the time to have fun and joy all that. But this has to be slightly less and can become more if you achieve your goal in life or you are succesfull with yourself. This is my point of view.

Write down you thoughts on it and point of view

As the title says, I (33M) have been having a lot of trouble focusing on my work and it’s going to be a problem soon. I don’t feel invested in it and I have a very hard time giving a shit even though I know I NEED TO. Working from home has exacerbated this and I will routinely go a work week with little productivity outside of attending mandatory meetings.

I know I need to get things done but am still unable to make myself do so. Sitting down to work makes me feel physically uncomfortable, almost like a mini anxiety attack. But it’s just work, which I get paid to do. In addition, it’s a good job. Please help. I feel like this apathy is spilling over elsewhere and I just want to be different.