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Hey everyone. I turned 18 a few months ago (male) and I realized that I need to get my shit together, and I also realized I'm not too sure how to go about that. Let me give a bit of information on the things I really wanna work on.

Firstly, I need advice on finding that willpower to improve. I want to start going to the gym, meditating, engaging more into my hobbies like reading or learning to play guitar. I constantly tell myself I'll do it, but then I end up scrolling social media or gaming rather than chasing my goals. I do have ADHD which may make it a bit more challenging to do such things, but I don't wish to blame it all on that.

Secondly, I wish to improve my study habits and general organization skills. I am a very chaotic person and I procrastinate nearly everything I do, especially assignments and studying. I do write notes in class and I'm not actively failing, but I do end up doing my assignments last minute. I just need general ideas on how to improve those avenues, as I definitely will need those skills in my future career and academic pursuits.

Thirdly, I want to improve my own mindset and social / relationship strengths. I've been trying to find a relationship for quite a while, and while I've had many chances, I've also fumbled those chances on my own accord. This is due to my horrible habit of overthinking. When I have a relationship, I overthink every interaction, and start spiralling negatively until I show a bit of insecurity towards whoever I'm dating, which usually results in something bad. This doesn't only apply to dating, it also applies to every social situation I have. I also tend to talk in circles A LOT, and to put it simply, I can be annoying at times with that habit. I really want to become someone outgoing, who can talk to anybody, and make friends in any situation.

There are plenty of other things I wish to improve, but those are my main issues. This is quite the lengthy post, but I will be taking the advice one step at a time. I'll be actively rep[lying to comments as I really wish to find right solution to become the best person I can be.

im making this post because i dont know what to do anymore. im honestly just completely lost and depressed and miserable.

for the most part, most of my life i havent really had many friends, but i have one dude whos stuck with me through thick and thin. my ride or die (his words). but anywho, i hook him up with a girlfriend and yay, he’s got a girlfriend, im happy for him. several weeks later, i regret it. he doesnt talk to me much anymore and when he does its always about her and when she texts me it’s always about him and ive just had enough. i cant even say im happy for them anymore because im so blinded by jealousy that i cant stand it. plus, its like its being flaunted in my face with how wondrous their relationship is. like i understand but at the same time they wont stfu about each other and it almost seems as if im being used. occasionally my best friend will chime in with different conversation and occasionally will play video games with me and stuff which is nice of him but still his girlfriend never shuts the hell up about him. its constantly him, shes never changing topics. no matter how many times i talk about how i wanna change the subject or talk about how its just making me feel miserable she just doesnt care. it especially hurts whenever ive been trying to get into a new relationship (or at least patiently searching) since 2022. ive had so many opportunities that have just been sniped down. once, a friend of mine who i liked at the time broke up with her boyfriend and i was like “okay, im gonna give her some recovery time and then ask her out” but it turns out the next day she gets a new boyfriend. one time i had a crush on a girl and she did too but she was too ashamed cause i was weird. several times ive been led on. several times ive been rejected because of my looks. it’s completely demoralizing and hurts immensely.

on top of my relationship issues, my knee is completely screwed up and its looking like it’ll need surgery, and im incredibly scared for that.

its just been a nonstop struggle for me for the past several months. matter of fact, the whole year ive been on a struggle bus. i dont feel motivated to do anything anymore and ive lost passion for a lot of the things i used to love. theres been so much misery and so much suffering and i just want everything to stop. i want one good thing to happen. one.

please. anyone out there. please give me some sort of advice or help on what to do from here because i cannot keep living like this. i dont want to keep living my life in misery. please give me any sort of advice or help. thanks.

Have you ever felt like your life is flourishing but not in the way you hoped? I started taking more action rather than complaining and and being depressed (I’m outrunning it right now) doing anything out of my comfort zone and I feel like I’m finally getting great opportunities, but two years ago they would’ve been the bare minimum opportunities. I feel like I’m accepting anything and none of it is what I actually really truly want. But I was getting rejected in every single part of my life so after a drought I’m not really happy, just thankful, but it’s the wrong kind. It’s like being bitten by a snake and thanking the universe it wasn’t a rattlesnake. Everyday is going by so fast. My standards and worth feel so low no matter how many things I “win”, it’s like I’m settling for someone I’m not. I keep getting involved in shit I should be far away from. I feel like a 12th grader who never grew up, yes they are getting honor roll every year, but it never gets better from there, they never get to graduate.

I want to drop everything and leave to a new city so fucking bad. I feel small and disgustingly not me. The way I dress and look, the way people disrespect and make fun of me in my face, this is not the life I envisioned for myself. I can’t say no to anyone ever, it fucking sucks.

I have new opportunities but it doesn’t make any fucking sense. I said I’d rather drop than work in that field or location and here I am out of all the ones available ever, never even on purpose I just couldn’t get anything else.

I see myself settling and not going beyond my wildest dreams. I can’t live like that, but I don’t believe that I can protect myself enough to go through with it because of my cptsd. If I can’t even fucking say no and avoid my teenage boss decades younger the me who makes me feel like shit? Down the line I’m going to settle down with the first person who picks me, who will probably cheat on me and I’ll be grateful they didn’t leave, then I’ll be a hated parent (they won’t be from me) and be miserable, then live above my means for survival unhealthily and never be fucking happy. I’ll never see the city lights or the club or a first kiss or a concert for the first time. Everyone talks about how great I have it all, but it doesn’t feel great at all.

This is really embarrassing, but here we go. I recently broke things off with my GF a few weeks back. She was selfish, shallow, and uncaring towards my feelings. A couple weeks after that, she came to me to apologize, but I eventually saw through the BS and wrote out a letter that basically said, “I still love you, but these are your flaws and this is how it’s affecting me and hurting me, please change.”

She blocked me, so that was that. However, the issue is that her and I are in the same class together. Now that sounds petty and shallow, but let me provide more context. The class is small, only 5 people. And we’re in there for 8 hours a day. Which means avoiding her is essentially impossible. She’s a textbook narcissist, so unfortunately she does subtle shit to try and get on my nerves, and it’s a coin toss on whether or not it works most of the time.

The problem is, I’m not a very secure person, I don’t have a high self esteem or anything like that. It’s still something I’m slowly learning and I’ve been in therapy for the past 8 months, as well as in the gym and reading self help books. So being forced to interact with her on a day by day basis…it’s hard. Some days I’m fine, confident, I’m chilling. Other days (like today) I’m constantly questioning myself and wondering what I could have done differently. Being around her nips at my insecurities. And here’s the thing: I know it’s irrational. I know that I’m not wrong. I can still remember all the petty she did and does on a day to day basis. She manipulates me and gaslighted me and she surrounds herself with these desperate lies to try and make it seem like she’s this grand person (again, all traits of a narcissist).

But it doesn’t matter. Some days I miss her, some days I hate her guts, and some days I just wanna make her hurt as badly as me. But more than anything else? I just don’t want anything to do with her. I’ve been taken advantage of by shitty women all my life, it’s why I end up with more shitty women. I’m so over it. However, rational or irrational, being around her still sets off my insecurities and makes me feel shitty, and I know why it makes me feel shitty, but it doesn’t change anything. It spirals too, because feeling shitty about her makes me feel shitty about past relationships THAT I DEFINITELY DID FUCK UP, but I’m still trying to make amends for. So I truly really don’t know what to do. I WANT to confront her but I think that’ll do more harm than good. I don’t want to get sucked back into that cycle of bullshit, as much as I wanted to help her. I’m just tired of going through this shit.

So, any advice?

Today I continued cleaning and napped as well. I think now I still just have allergies from these darn leaves leaving us behind or other nearby wild growth. I feel great despite that and one other thing. Only thing I read was about someone who commented about me writing this for my ego and I should write somewhere else. It made me sad s/he thought I was stroking my ego doing this and how I'm doing it for nobody. I thought Reddit was a place to express yourself and your ideas. There are so many different places to post amongst the billions of things that get posted. I only post a little bit in a vast void of many different topics. I hope whoever does read this doesn't view this as me trying to make myself seem great. I write on here because it brings me comfort, keeps me in check, and helps keep my idea in one place. If I can help anybody by showing I'm a normal guy who makes mistakes, then it is worth doing. My journey so far hasn't been perfect but one thing I am doing is learning. Learning to be a better me. Learning to be more patient with myself and others. Learning to love myself. It is very hard and I just wanted to share that into the void and into something like Reddit that I really do enjoy. I apologize to that person if you see me writing this as some sort of ego trip. I do it to bring me comfort and anyone else who would enjoy reading it. Besides that the day was good and I slowly cleaned up more around me. I feel good and better about myself in my life. Slowly but surely everything will look beautiful around me.

SBIST was the room pretty much coming together. The only thing left are the bags and figuring out where I want to put them and organizing them a bit as well. Seeing my room in a state that I really like is great to me. There are definitely some finishing touches but I will get it looking as perfect as I can in no time. Feeling good about my surroundings again is the first step to feeling good as a person. It is a beautiful feeling to feel comfortable and ready for tackling what comes next.

Tomorrow will be doing little things like my bags and finding better spots for desk stuff. I also have to run down and grab my GameStop Pokémon “free” packs for my brother and I. It is always a pleasure to see what I can unpack and I have been loving the new Pokémon sets. I wish I could buy more packs but I have to hold on to as much money as possible in the meantime. I will have more fun later down the road after I have worked hard. Thank you my conjurers of the ones who want to read. You summon the ones I keep writing for.

I’m going through a divorce that is pretty challenging (leaving a lot of details out), then on top of that I find out my dad has pancreatic cancer. My whole focus shifted from the divorce to my dad and my family. But I still have to deal with both of them. I feel like I’m drowning but yet there are some things I could do to ameliorate all this; like going to the gym, attending meditation sessions etc. but I can’t seem to find the time. There’s always something I have to do. Between work to sustain me and then everything else, I’m just dying . I don’t know what to do, I’m lost.

I feel like I know what to do to be better, but I just can’t find out HOW to do it. If anyone has any insight, please let me know.

I'm a 30(F) and I'm really just looking for maybe some advice or to hear something from someone that may have had a similar experience. I really just want to be better than an almost graduate making only 22k a year. This is probably going to sound stilted so sorry for that. I unfortunately have several mental health issues. I have C-PTSD with depression and anxiety and I also have ADHD that I was diagnosed with as a child and just never really recieved or did anything about. I also spent years (7 - 13) with all this as well as what I'm pretty sure was some form of Disassociate Disorder. I was floating a lot during those years. All of this definitely delayed my emotional process and made everything much harder for me. I have been in therapy before multiple times and did take some ptsd related medication right before this all started which stopping may have contributed a bit to the situation.

I was always good at school so I naturally went to college right after graduating in 2012 and due to several other issues, I ended up having a depression spiral and having to drop out. I went back in 2016 and everything was going well. I was making A and B for the most part, working on campus and I was so close to graduating in spring 2020 after withdrawing the semester before due to ptsd related mental health issues and what I now know was probably a burn out from taking 6 classes for 2 years and working part time.

I don't drink and I was only smoking cigarettes which I quit in 2021 and haven't touched them since. Due to my mental issues, I did get completely absorbed by the dopamine intensity and was obsessed with fanfiction. The pandemic hit and I just kept drowning and did not graduate. I just failed out, didn't even think to do any paperwork just spent months sleeping and reading fanfiction.

I found an easy data entry job that summer that let me work from home and slowly over 3 years I stopped drowning. The last year has been much better mentally and I'm no longer in that depression haze or dopamine chasing obsession but I still couldn't swallow my shame/pride last year and try to get back into school to actually graduate even though I wanted to. I have not been to therapy or been medicated during all this although I know it would have helped.

Financial wise besides the student loans, which I'm on an income based payment plan for ($0), I don't have any debt and my credit is 705. I have my own apartment with an $800 rent payment, its definitely gone up since 2020, and my parents(adopted at 17, after being put back in the system at 14 after being adopted previously at 8) gave me an old car after they upgraded while I was still in school. I received some grants from having decent scores and being in the system after I turned 13 so I only have 35K in student loans debt, all through the federal government. I won't claim i was dedicated as I should have been and I defintly wasted some money I shouldn't have but most of any excess went to rent so I could focus on school.

I was informed recently that my job is closing my department and switching me to a new one and it felt like a sign. I also had an accident a month ago so I kind of had a cry fest after that about feeling like such a failure. I am fine for the most part besides the small medical bills that will be mostly clearing out my small savings.

I want to be better and the only way I know how is to get a better job which requires a degree with the type of work I'm experienced with so i decided to start that process and stop holding myself back. I just applied to fafsa and I still have to get back into my old school account which I'm waiting on the approval for and once that happens I can go talk to admissions and swallow my shame/pride to speak to my academic advisor to figure out what I can do to graduate.

However, tuition has gone up several thousand and I know I can't manage multiple jobs and go to school. If I don't recieve any help at all it would add at least 12K per semester for my loans since I'll need extra to help cover my rent while working part time to cover everything else. I don't live above my means.

Is having 50k - 65K in student loans from a small state school worth having a bachelor's degree? Is my own brain psycheing me out of this? I don't have any clue how to go about getting a better life except getting a degree and then trying to get a job that pays more than 22k a year. If I don't make decent money I can't take care of my mental health which is what makes me so fragile.

Does anyone here have any advice or have they had to do something similar and came out the other side better? Is it worth it even though I don't have the first idea how to turn into something more? Thank you for reading and offering any advice.

I am currently experiencing guilt and burnout from the trauma of what I can now call an “emotional affair,” the trauma of poverty, and the combined stress of working during grad school.

I get so frustrated when people suggest ways to re-frame my thoughts or they just tell me they believe in me — when for the past six years I have constantly tried to re-frame my thoughts: listing positives of the day, brainstorming ways I can be content with an unwanted outcome, reminding myself that I am doing far better than others would probably would be had they been in my shoes with my lack of a support system, etc. Telling me that I am believed in is simply not enough because none of those people who have said such things have experiences a fraction of the mental turmoil I have endured.

I was very frustrated a few weeks ago because I was putting in all my exacerbated effort in order to still feel miserable, for long-term goals I may burnout before I reach.

But I think I am at a turning point where I want to begin the journey to forgive myself for good-intended choices that played a role in my traumatic experiences.

I found myself thinking, why is it that every choice I’ve made seemed like the wrong choice? Of course, I had no knowledge of the outcome. But they all ended horribly for the most part.

I think aside from thinking of ways till I can narrow down a solution, I do not sit in my uncomfortable feelings for long. I try to relieve myself immediately. This can be a strength or a weakness depending on the circumstance. But I want to be stronger in waiting, without tolerating harm.

I want to be able to forgive myself and live in the present, even if the only bits of gratitude I have left are crumbs.

Premise 1: The evolution of life on exoplanets or solar system ice moons is a morally significant event.

Premise 2: The possible outcomes of evolution on these celestial bodies are numerous and varied.

Premise 3: The range of possible outcomes in terms of well-being or suffering is extremely large.

Premise 4: Near-future microbial contamination of planets is likely to result in a sub-optimal or negative outcome for an enormous number of animals, leading to widespread suffering.

Conclusion: Therefore, humanity has a moral obligation to exercise restraint and prevent interplanetary and interstellar forward contamination for many years, lest it forfeit its moral justification for continued existence, since the astronomical suffering at stake may never be possible to compensate afterward anymore, as per the trolley problem.

Meanwhile, the space industry globally is still growing exponentially, which is intolerable.

I (19M), have ADHD and autism. So far, I am doing okay. Yet, I feel like my life has not been lived up to it’s full potential. I used to go to the gym regularly but I have fallen off. Nowadays, it is a struggle to even set times for myself to go exercise.

Plus, I want to be a writer but I frequently neglect my writing. (And also draw)

How can I make sure that I start exercising again, and start writing more regularly?

I don’t know if it’s a real term, but I think I have analysis paralysis.

I have multiple options, and I end up agonizing so much, I blindly choose the worst option, or no option at all and suffer.

I just question everything and get pulled between places by people. Any time I spend in one place is 3 places I’m not spending another. With a friend or family member.

I just finished school, and have a great job working hard, making good money, but everything else in my life (friends, family) constantly feels like it’s hanging by a thread.

I’ve been told by multiple friends and family I need to “look after myself” and “set boundaries”, but every time I do, someone gets upset, or I end up with a bad outcome, making me feel that pleasing others is just the better option for me too.

All of my days, weeks, holidays, anything, keeps getting ruined, and it’s all my fault.

I'm a Junior in high school, and I’m dyslexic and have ADHD; through 1st grade and sophomore years of high school, I had an IEP plan, and now I have a 504 plan. My school forced me to be under an IEP plan, and it was like hell to convince my school admins I didn't need an IEP anymore.

Throughout my life, I have felt nothing but disappointment because I’m severely behind my peers at school. I feel like I’m not smart and life isn’t worth living if I’m not smart or good at a particular subject or hobby.

I know academically intelligent people and people who aren't, but they are good at that one thing they are very interested in.

However, I am not good academically or very knowledgeable about my hobbies because I forget any information I retain; this problem has become so bad that I refuse to look at my grades, or I'll break down. I have inflicted self-harm because of this struggle I have.

I spend countless all-nighters studying. I have a tutor, yet I still do poorly. People say I'm smart, but I have horrible grades, and people are surprised. I generally don't see that I'm smart, so I concluded they lied to make me feel better. On top of that, I don't know myself as a person.

As corny as it sounds, the only thing keeping me alive is video games, which allow me to forget reality.

I do not see myself living past 18; how can I succeed if I can't do well in school? Living past 18 will be pointless for me.

Thank you for reading this. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Alright, so there are some things I am really confused about. Honestly, it's one of the things I am depressed about. one of them is, why don't the rules that are applicable to others apply to me, what changes midway?

Why am I suffering from bad acne from 10 years which just doesn't go away (currently 22) and flares up if I breathe wrong, while others are smoking, drinking, eating junk food with healthy skin? Why do I apply products after products to my hair only for it to be brittle, hard and frizzy while others my age can be done using shampoo, conditioner and their hair is set? Is it just genetics messing with me?

Why do people who wake up late are still able to get things in their daily routine, while I just am unable to get anything done each and every day apart from maybe household chores? Why do I wake up everyday thinking today will be the day I make changes and fonti sleep accomplishing nothing and adding to my self loathing? What sort of mindset are people working with that is I am so out of clue of. It's baffling honestly, to the point I feel lowkey hysterical.

There might be a few more questions like this I can add to this, but for now, I would love to gain some insights on this. Thank you to anyone who spends time on this post.

Heads up, this will be a lil NSFW, not in detail though!

I started dating the absolute love of my life about 2 years ago, he is wholeheartedly the best man I have ever met, loving, attentive, communicative, and always striving to be the best person he can be and the best partner he can be for me.

Which is why I have gotta fix this, I fall into patterns of being triggered by media or simple daily things and spiraling into a depression overthinking and ruminating on things from the past.

Our main differences for sure are the fact that he has been in multiple long term relationships (he's 29), I have been in one which lasted about 4 years (I'm 25), he used to be polyamorous so 3 of his relationships overlapped with each other, and that he has an immensely different sexual past than mine.

I do not hold any judgment on his past, but to compare (lol here we go) his past consists of group sex, orgies, sex clubs, staring in porn (masked), and in his own words feeling that sex is "recreational and something that can be done with anyone within reason, including friends, strangers, and partners, and it isn't something intimate". Genuinely cool. I love sexual liberation and I respect it. My sexual past however consists of an almost 4 year relationship that was sexually abusive and coercive, and resulted in multiple r*pes. I thus view sex as something extremely intimate (and slightly traumatic) and my body and sexuality is something I am very deeply protective of.

Of course he understands and is the most amazing and supportive partner about it, but the part of me that overthinks tells me he wishes I was different, more like people from his past, we tried opening our relationship for a while but I just got really depressed and had multiple breakdowns so we stopped. I wish I was more normal so he could do things he enjoys, I wish I could enjoy sex more and be more sexy and fun with him, but he genuinely always tells me those things matter very little to him in the grand scheme of life and that he wants to be with me forever and that's his #1 priority. I just want to hear that and believe it.

I also compare myself to his past partners in the way that I think they're way cooler and more interesting than me... Like he swapped these gorgeous, sexy, queer, communist, anarchist, poly, hippies, who do shrooms and have sexual healing parties and all love each other and the world deeply, and who somehow are mostly lawyers or have PhDs, with me a depressed, t-shirt and jeans wearing, high school drop out, librarian who just does crafts at home and is afraid of going clubbing or doing drugs or dressing cute and slutty because those are unsafe situations for me.

I genuinely can't wrap my head around why he would want to be with me when he is so used to being with the opposite of me.

But I just really want to be happy with him and enjoy our relationship because I know I found someone who I'd really genuinely like to marry and I don't wanna ruin that by just overthinking about silly things! Please if yall have any recommendations for topics to bring up with him or my therapist that can help me through this, I feel like I've hit a wall with trying to talk it through, I talk about insecurities and stuff but nothing is seeming to help!

I have a lot of trouble when others ask me about my commitment in personal life not as an attack of I’m not good enough or I’m failing them, which triggers a reaction for me to be defensive or triggers a deep emotional pain for me to get over.

I somehow also find agreeing to others solutions/wants/needs as a lose to me? And this makes me really bad at providing validation or assurance that will make my relationships stronger and for me to be more pleasant to be around, and for me to grow more by productively improving myself without the mountains of feelings invalid and inadequate.

I want to know if anyone struggled with something similar and how did you overcome it?

I struggle making friends and it has a bad influence on my life. I can't see myself in the future living without friends. How do I change this? I'm shy and quiet and I really need a change. Just a few tips or advice would be insightful.

I don't know if this is the right sub to post it since I don't use Reddit a lot. I'm sorry for that.

I(27m from Asia) recently give around 500 usd from my recent profit from investment in stock to my mother who suffers cancer for almost 30 yrs. She have around 2000 usd retirement income per month. What I gave her is very little comparing to that, but it still counts.

I went to college in 2015 to study computer science bachelor degree because of game dev. But I only ended up depression, addition to video games and landing no job related to IT field. Now I am doing a job for almost 3 yrs as a temporary stuff in a government department with a salary that is only 500 usd per month.

Luckily, my mom retired in September this year and gave me all her save to me. For this whole month I've been studying how to invest stock market and I earned some profit. As Asian tradition(to respect your parents), I gave some to my mom after my personal living cost for being grateful to her generous helping hand. This is the first time I saw her smiling since I graduated from college.

Thank you, mom, for your kindness.

I worked hard for over a year now with therapy to be able express my feelings better and don't just shut them down in me and damaging myself that way. I learned that it's okay to feel frustrated and tired and angry. However I noticed that the people around me can react very negatively to something that I worked so hard for and I honestly feel like it's effecting me. I feel like I'm only good when I'm happy and content, but as soon as I show signs of not feeling the best or being frustrated they keep distance and they appear to be that they don't care about me anymore and that they are angry with me for not being happy or expressed a need or asked for something. That my feelings are the reason of them being unhappy. I felt that I'm sadly tend to return to my people pleasing tendencies and even tho I did nothing wrong with expressing an emotion, I treat it as a mistake and try to apologize or going out of my way to make things right for something that is not my fault. My question is if you have any advice on how can I live my life without being affected by them?

Is there anyone who has learnt Japanese and passed N3/N2 level? How much time did it take? I'm taking help from Duolingo, does it do any better?

I hate every aspect of my life. I'd like to change, incorporate new habits and past times.

I read that new things create new thoughts which therefore lead to new actions and life takes on from there. I'd like to do that. But I don't know what to do exactly, I will go on vacation by myself at 17 for a few days in a couple weeks but until then, I don't wish to overanalyze the whole thing and talk myself out of it.

What can I do in the meantime?

I refuse to believe I'm a bad person but Ive realised that I've lost a friend and my family isn't happy with me too because I am "rude" and hurt their feelings. In my opinion I am just as rude as anybody else is and I'm literally a people pleaser and an infp how am I rude ?It is just beyond my understanding . Y'all what should I do?

Those of us who have been through trauma or grief know it’s too easy to dwell in the past. I’m seeking advice on thought exercises that will help me to imagine personal growth and a prosperous future. Recently I planted a tree, which will take years or decades to mature. What else can I do or think to believe in my future self?

I got out of a complex relationship where I was giving my all but towards the end I made a mistake which I regret but we talked about it and now it's sorted but the tough part is getting over when I have no one to talk to about it.

I struggle with remembering what I read—books, notes, algorithms, or forum posts. I often forget everything soon after. I know sharing with others helps reinforce memory, but some topics might not be suitable to share as people may not want to listen to them. Any tips or strategies to help with this?

I knew that I was toxic, and I've just been putting things off for this entire month. Yesterday I got hit by a wakeup call with a person calling me mean and I've just been rethinking my actions. I've actually ended up asking around two friend groups of mine, and I ended up with this:

Friend group one [composed only of females]: I'm not generally toxic [original words were "If you were toxic then I wouldn't be friends with you in the first place, but sometimes you say out of pocket stuff that you don't mean or can be misinterpreted by others."

Friend group two [composed mostly of males]: Definitely toxic, all day long. [original words were "the only time you aren't toxic is when you're sleeping"]

So, I ended up asking for some examples of when they feel I'm toxic, and the first thing that came up was how I put down things they love [eg. I'd say I don't like an anime character that they really like] and I feel like there's more to it, but they couldn't come up with anything else right then and there.

On the other hand, I would like to take into consideration that friend group one was a group that I've been in for far longer than the second group, so I don't know if it's just that friend group one is more accustomed to my inability to express myself or that I just behave differently in the two groups.

I've asked friend group two to give me suggestions on how to change my personality / actions and he said [and this was one person that was doing the majority of the talking] "Stop being a d*ck"

Smaller things that he said could be done were "stop commenting on conversations you aren't a part of", "stop sh*tting on stuff people love", "keep comments to yourself", and "use more positive vocabulary"

I've already told both friend groups to literally call me out when I'm being toxic, and I really want to change my entire mindset / literally just shut up and stop talking. I know I don't even mean half the stuff I say and it just sometimes comes out because my mouth moves before my brain does but that doesn't make it an excuse. Please help, I need to change this behavior.

p.s. I sort of want to add that I have a lot of insecurities and they never really bothered me until I got into that second friend group and I feel like as of now everything is just dying on me. I'm extremely insecure when people comment on me [behavior, personality, thoughts, etc.] and I don't know if that fuels my toxicity.

Hello everyone Can anyone share how did they meet their partners or love of their life. After my last relationship I'm finding it hard to belive in love and I'm lacking courage to get into a relationship with a guy . Plz share your stories do that I can believe in love again.

I’ve been going through some internal conflict lately. I am only 22 years old and I feel like I am behind and filled with regrets. Even as a teenager I felt this way. I always somehow felt like I was always “too late” or “too old” especially when it comes to opportunities and experiences, which is crazy now that I think about it because why the hell did I think that as a teenager. Now as a 22 year old all I wanna be is 15 again. But I don’t want to go into my 30s and still feel this way.

I need some advice, especially from women, or some self-help book recommendations about changing my mindset and learning certain habits. I really don’t want to look back and be full of regrets

I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now. He met me shortly after I got out of a toxic household, lifestyle and all sorts of chaos. Now, all my motivation went towards getting out, but I don't know how to better myself and become a person that truly is adding happiness to his life. We've been having issues and it's basically me, I have controlling behaviors, I nitpick and nag, I'm easily set off and argumenttive. And after a year it is no surprise that he feels emotionally unavailable towards me. He is a confident, strong, and intelligent man. He's been kind and patient, supporting me and helping me be better, trying to communicate and share what he needs from me. And so I "think" that I started to make changes but i'm actually not, it ends up that I will keep making the same mistake over and over and I don't want to keep him in a relationship where he has a partner that slowly makes changes, I want to show him the type of love that he deserves. I love him and I don't want to lose him, so please share what you think, I'll take anything right now.

It was a hectic woray, volume was very high I hàd to work overtime to complete it wouldn't complete in one day..may tomorrow it will go back to normal. I also got appreciated by my manager but it's a very low-paying job so doesn't matter. Even if I got a promotion still it will the same. In personal front I am still unable to start with my goals. I didn't study or worked out today.

Thanks!

(P.S. english is not my 1st language)

I’ve been on this journey for a while now. I was abusing alcohol and drugs pretty heavily in my 20’s. I fell out with a lot of people while I navigated a lot of toxic relationships. I truly don’t want to be that person anymore but I don’t know how to not sink back to that without completely abandoning my friends that I’ve known for years. I truly think I need to isolate for 6 months and just come back clean of these habits either my head on straight.

Is this a bad idea? I feel like my life can improve extremely quickly if I just remove some of these things from my life. I have learned I don’t have the discipline to simply be around it and say no. I feel like I need to do this but at the same I’m scared of trading old bad habits for new ones.