hey everyone! i’m here to seek advice or just chat, as i’ve been feeling a bit down the last few weeks and trying to get my motivation back. i recently just moved back to my hometown from a big city, and everything is suddenly rough. i was excited to move home and be closer to one of my friends. we hung out once and now she’s barely making the time to respond to my messages, yet she’s talking to her other friends. my other few friends are barely speaking to me as well. (i’m a very kind person, and nothing happened between any of us) my family has a ton of their own matters going on, and they’re pulling me into it. i work freelance from home, and now that i’m here they’re expecting me to do all of these things for them randomly and unexpectedly. and i have barely been able to get any work done. i have tried setting boundaries, but they see me as a “bad” person if i do. i love my family and i don’t mind helping them, but there’s always something and it’s exhausting. i also recently came off of hormonal birth control because i was struggling with depression and fatigue, and my emotions are a mess on top of everything. i already want to move away. i want to move out west where i will have more opportunities and i can grow. i just don’t see it happening here. and if you’re curious, i moved home because my lease was up and i didn’t want to stay in that city. i wanted to try and save some money for a bit because cost of living is more affordable here. but at the same time, i have no opportunities. im starting to think it was a mistake. i’m a 23 year old female. thank you for letting me vent ❤️

My dad started instilling a love of poetry in me from the time I was able to listen. He's also been writing (sometimes the same) poems for longer than I've been alive, and never fully exposing them to the world. He went to one or two poetry readings in my youth (I remember reading a poem I wrote about my pet cat at one of them, getting a rousing applause, and thinking what was HE doing wrong?)

Flash forward a few decades.

He finally began sending out a manuscript, portfolio, whatever you want to call it, of poems he'd written during the past 8 years during National Poetry Month in April. He, my brother, and I participate in a sort of round-robin poetry marathon. The theme is different each year, but the rules are the same; the poem must fit the theme, no matter how abstractly it does that.

And then he found a publisher. His first anthology of poems was published November 23rd, 2024. It's titled "Pieces of April", and although I've read a lot of these poems over and over again for almost 15 years, seeing them intentionally organized, composed, and in a tangible medium.....I don't think I've ever been more proud.

I don't know the rules about sharing links, but if you're curious, it's on Amazon.

Don't ever stop working hard at what you love. It has to pay off.

So I've been going through a serious depressive episode this semester of college. And I've been having troubles with feeling like people like me because I'm nice and I work hard, but no one likes me because I have a good personality. Like no one wants to hang out with me specifically or to have a conversation with me specifically. I'll get invited to things with a group but no one seems to really try talking to me. I'll talk to them but they'll never come start a conversation. I just don't know how to get people to want to talk to me. Or hanging out with people. I don't know how to ask to hang out or even what I can do to hang out.

Hello everyone, i(19) need some advice.

I dropped out of school back in 2017 because of my bad mental health, i couldn't concentrate on studies and had panic attacks and was diagnosed with anxiety.

Ever since then, i sort of quit studying. My focus was shifted to something else, drawing. I started drawing (2017) and started "learning" last year. Tho I am still far from what you call an artist but I am learning.

In the past 7 years, i started exercising, drawing, book binding, painting,reading comics and watching movies. Tho I never had any problem with my attention span and I rarely use social media.

I sort of fell back after my 19th birthday this Jan. I realised how behind I am compared to others of my age, I have no qualification to get any job and that is when my parents also asked me about my future plans. Since I am doing way better than I was with my mental health, i actually have no goals in life because I never really thought about it.

They want to give private exams next year to complete my "high school" so that I can start with uni.

Ever since that conversation back in Jan, I am having a hard time understanding myself and what I want to do and on top of that, how behind I am in studies. I can barely pass 8th grade.(I was testing myself with past year papers). Ever since then, i stopped drawing, painting and doing the things I love. I even gained some weight and I started reading comics and watching YouTube as a way to escape.

And now with the year coming to end, it sort of hit me, what am I doing? I am sleeping 10+ hours, tho my mom makes sure i eat healthy but I am overeating, crying over everything tho it's me who is holding me back. I am grateful to have understanding parents and I want to do something as their oldest child.

Please give me some advice, how can I get myself together?

so, I'm a high school senior, former gifted kid, and likely depressed and ocd-ridden. i spent the past 3 years slacking off and daydreaming, but now I wanna get back on track. especially since I want to apply for a bunch of scholarships. i have high standards for myself and I don't wanna let myself down again.

so, I've been telling myself, "I can". its simple, but it has been helping me work harder, I think. i also recently watched the legally blonde musical (I love legally blonde!), and I love elle wood's attitude of, "what, like it's hard?" I'm trying to adopt that.

i dunno how healthy it is, but trying to gaslight myself that a hard task isn't really that hard, and that I can really do anything if I tried, is helping me do tasks when I'm feeling lazy.

what are these phrases or mindsets for you?

Let’s talk about something I face all the time: the eternal struggle between "good enough" and our relentless friend, perfectionism.

https://preview.redd.it/eiej7fvl1c4e1.png?width=2350&format=png&auto=webp&s=7f510bc7f025b90386e4b0ff68681635133b1905

I drew this to illustrate the concept, and yes, I may or may not have spent an unreasonable amount of time making sure every curve looked just right. (Irony, anyone?) The lesson here is one I'm desperately trying to internalize: sometimes, it's okay to stop when something is good enough. Because, let’s face it, spending 10 extra hours polishing a graph that took 1 minute to understand isn't exactly winning any awards for productivity.

The old me would have never dared to publish something like that.

This is how we can get caught in the perfectionism trap. You start strong, adding value like a champ, and then boom—you hit that sweet spot where the return on effort flatlines. But instead of quitting while we're ahead, we all keep going, tweaking those tiny details that absolutely no one cares about except our inner perfectionist. It’s like trying to make a peanut butter sandwich, and three hours later, you’re baking homemade bread because store-bought just isn’t cutting it.

The truth is, good enough is often more than enough. Perfectionism is a liar, whispering sweet nothings like "just a little more," before you know it, you're embroiled in a 17-hour saga of color-coordinating your sock drawer. Been there, done that, still regretting it.

So, what do you think? Have you ever found yourself stuck trying to make something perfect when it really didn’t need to be? Let's share our ridiculous stories and remember: good enough is the goal, not perfection.

I started a business called r/lifemaxxersclub and im trying to learn/gather new, lesser known methods to dealing with problems

The reason I seem to avoid doing the work is not only because I'm confused lazy and procrastinate but also there is fear anxiety involved and worse part of all is im avoiding the realization of my feelings. You know how you feel sometimes like you're life is messed up but you just keep suppressing that feeling because you want to avoid how it makes you feel. And you just keep doing this more and more, but deep down it just eats you up. You feel emotionally tensed mentally overwhelmed.

Like I wanted to go back to college because I just have not been taking classes 2 yrs now. So whenever I think about fixing this situation,I seem to suppress that feeling of doing it. I know I'm gonna feel bad and get all sorts of mixed emotions. And my thoughts will bring me down.

In the quest for personal growth, the allure of self-help books is undeniable. But are they truly effective, or is there a better path to self-improvement?

To start unpacking this, let’s start by outlining a broad process by which genuine – sustainable – personal growth occurs:

• Feeling a degree of discontentment

• Choosing to take action on pursuing change

• Exposure to new content (e.g. self-help book)

• New content needs to be accepted

• New content needs to be congruent with existing belief & value system

• New content must avoid triggering pre-existing limiting beliefs

• Any issues arising thus far are resolved

• New content translates through to new skills / beliefs driving new behaviours

• New behaviours are accepted in person’s environment

• New behaviours achieve positive outcomes without triggering unintended / undesirable outcomes.

• New behaviours become normalised

So, where the advice acknowledges this growth process and guides you through each step there is a reasonable chance of enjoying some beneficial changes.

Not all self-help books are created equal. Beware of titles promising quick & easy fixes and one-size-fits-all solutions. So many self-help books fall in to low value categories:

• You can do or acquire anything you want – just go for it

• Just follow this magic formula and you are sure to become super-human

• This is how I did it – just copy me: if I can do it, anyone can

• Just believe enough and it will happen

• I met a mystic one day and here’s the secret wisdom they told me - and only me! – for reasons never really explained

Remember that the industry behind this so called ‘self-help’ shares a commonality with the fad diet industry: they sell hope but need to make sure the products themselves deliver only – at best – limited results. Otherwise, there would be no need for the next fad which will fuel next years’ profits.

Caveat Emptor.

OK – so what is the way forward here?

There is an additional ‘self-help’ genre that I find are more credible: their general approach is to outline frameworks for you to consider and then work on applying these to your own context.

Examples would include considerations of the PERMA model - Alan Carr from Dublin University has published the best I have found so far. Another is the Covey foundation’s Seven Habits: albeit in a way that I, personally, find very 1980’s Corporate American - I hear the ‘Dallas’ theme-tune whenever I think about it!

So, how do we get to some form of conclusion?

Reflect on the sustainable change process outlined above – tweak it until it makes sense for you in your present situation.

Consider the self-help books you have read – which genres do they fit in to? Have you found others?

Which have resonated with you – and why?

Which have left you cold – and why?

Notice your responses to the content you’re reading: That sounds good, but (what is the ‘but’?) or that’s ok for other, but (what differentiates between you and those ‘others’?) or if only it was as easy as that ect?

What are your responses telling you?

What limiting beliefs are they pointing to? More often than not, limiting beliefs can be derived back to ‘I’m not good enough’ and / or ‘I’m not worthy enough.’

Or is there a block somewhere? in your environment, your behaviour, your capabilities, your beliefs, your values, your sense of self.

Helping their clients work through such issues is every-day work for solution focused therapists. Supporting clients in developing their sense of agency sits at the heart of what we do. Investing in a few sessions can give you access to years of experience, a whole new toolbox, and a personalised approach to you building your own platform on which you can manage and build your own wellbeing for the rest of your life.

I thought this was a really great and encouraging story

https://youtu.be/SQSJAhP5RAE

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes people motivated or disciplined, learning about different frameworks there are in order to get more organised and get things done. I think it's safe to say that we've all been there - at this point in life, where every little task feels like climbing a mountain with a backpack full of bricks. Even stuff we used to enjoy might feel like a chore at this point.

So, I’m curious: what’s your worst problem when it comes to motivation? Is it burnout? Stress? A feeling of pointlessness? How do you deal with it? Do you have strategies to fight this state, or do you just wing it, until it passes?

To me personally, the worst to my motivation is doing a lot of stuff that is "expected" of me. If I had a stressful week where my to-do lists were never-ending, it's of utmost importance to me that I plan and allocate proper "me-time", where I can just do whatever I like - whether it is going outdoors and enjoying nature, doing long workouts, or slump on the couch and watch Netflix all day. On those days, everything I do is directly linked to my own decisions, and no one else's.

I'm looking forward to your contribution!

soar.

Two years ago, I was stuck in a rut—no direction, no motivation, and honestly, no hope. I decided to change just one thing: my mindset. Instead of saying 'I can't,' I started saying, 'What if I try?'

Fast forward to today: I’ve achieved goals I never thought possible. Sometimes it’s about taking that first, small step—even if it’s scary or uncertain.

If you’re feeling stuck, start with something small today. You’d be amazed where those little steps can take you. For me, dreaming of what life could look like helped me push forward. I started visualizing my goals, including what my dream escape would look like—and wow, that changed everything.

What’s your small step today? Let’s motivate each other!