We have a pre conceived idea of our identity, who we should be, what we should doing, and saying. Think of yourself as a blank slate and start doing things you think you “shouldn’t” do. You don’t step out of your comfort zone because you don’t think that’s something you (your identity) shouldn’t do. Identity is false and you can break it down and build it up any way you choose anytime you want. You can be a confident, self assured, driven, strong individual…if that’s what you want. Your idea of who you should be isn’t real, who with this what you may.

In the journey of personal growth, one obstacle that often holds us back is our own limiting beliefs. These beliefs, formed in our childhood, can persist into adulthood, and hinder our progress towards success and fulfilment. But there is the good news: by recognising and overcoming your limiting beliefs, you can unlock our true potential and live the life you aspire to.

Limiting Beliefs are one of the most common issues I work with for two reasons. We all have them and my approach is Solution Focused: at its very core, it supports clients in developing their sense of agency which is ideal for moving on from issues rooted in the past to achieve sustainable improvements in their quality of life.

So what are Limiting Beliefs?

We all form a set of beliefs in our childhoods: generally, they are formed rationally and serve us well at the time. However, time moves on and things change. As we become adults, our childhood beliefs serve us less well – and the resultant behaviours may become incongruent with the situation we are in.

This leads to the conclusion that one of the things it means to grow up, is to develop out of our childhood beliefs and adopt a new set of beliefs – and resultant behaviours - that will serve us more resourcefully as adults. This progression follows a broad pattern of developing from dependence as children to independence as young adults to interdependence as mature adults. Our overall set of beliefs are developing all the time. However, most of us will carry some of our childhood beliefs with us in to adulthood. Most will be innocuous, but some of them may impede our performance as high functioning adults. Many adults benefit from contemplating this list, recognising any that are impacting on their quality of life and working on growing out of them.

Common Limiting Beliefs

A general list of limiting beliefs has been well established:

• I need everyone I Know to approve of me • I must avoid being disliked from any source • To be a valuable person I must succeed in everything I do • It is not OK for me to make mistakes. If I do, I am bad. • People should strive to ensure I am happy. Always! • People who do not make me happy should be punished • Things must work out the way I want them to work out • My emotions are illnesses that I’m powerless to control • I can feel happy in life without contributing back in some way • Everyone needs to rely on someone stronger than themselves • Events in my past are the root of my attitude & behaviour today • My future outcomes will be the same as my past outcomes • I shouldn’t have to feel sadness, discomfort and pain • Someone, somewhere, should take responsibility for me

Beyond these, we can have our own specific limiting beliefs which are often versions of I’m not good enough / I’m not worthy / I’m not smart enough / I’m unattractive / change is bad / conflict is bad / the world is a scary place / people are mean ect.

Simply reflecting on the above may point the way to a resolution. Working with a Solution Focused approach is particularly well suited to personal development in this area as – by its very nature – it opens up the pathways between the parts we know and recognise as ‘us’ and the deeper levels of our wisdom: ideal when are going through lots of changes on our lives.

It is more effective to work on these with a skilled helper however working through the following questions will provide you with some insight:

• What is the evidence for this belief – and against it? • Am I basing this belief in facts or feelings? • Is this belief really black and white – or is it more interesting than that? • Could I be misrepresenting the evidence? • What assumptions am I making? • Might others have different interpretations of the issue? • If so, what might they be? • Am I looking at all the evidence or just what supports my thoughts? • Could my thoughts be an exaggeration of what is true? • The more you think about the evidence and differing perspectives, is this belief really the truth? • Am I having this thought out of habit, or do the facts support it? • Did someone pass this thought or belief on to me – if so, are they a reliable source? • Does this belief serve you well in life? • Does this belief help or restrict you in your life? • Have you paid a price from holding this belief – if so, what? • Would there be a price from continuing to hold this belief – is so, what? • What do you think about this belief now?

This, analytical, approach can be illuminating. This insight gained can then be used with a range of hypno-therapeutic processes to accelerate one’s personal development.

Chaos.

If nothing else, this is one thing that can be expected from the world around us.

People trying to do things, to you and to themselves.

People living in their beliefs and expecting involuntary participation from you.

No matter how aloof you try to stay from the crowd in the room, you get a fever in the air.

When a white flower drinks blue water, it becomes blue.

When you participate in the stupidity of this world you become one of them.

I don't know where we are going together, but the world has found some answers to all the questions in life.

They are marching towards the moving goal of happiness.

Things, people. Everything that moves.

And when they get what they want they move on to another thing.

Do they really know what they are looking for?

And why do they ask someone else to walk with them? On the quest for cheap thrills and temporary satisfaction.

Do you want to participate?

Want to turn blue?

May be not.

Read More - https://jett.me/insight/you-win-when-you-lose/

I've been going to the gym for months and I love going, but ih brother was it difficult just to leave my house and enter the gym the first day, took me months.

I've been working on my garden and it looks very pretty, but only when I gather enough strenght to go outside and start rooting out weeds or taking care of my plants.

I've been trying to look for a job in the videogame industry and once I got used to LinkedIn and itch io and the game dev communities it got easier and was able to advance a lot with my portfolio (still no job), but for years I struggled to start any of that and FEARED LinkedIn.

And that goes to basically other aspect of my life that just now at my age of 27 I'm starting to learn how to deal with. I wish I knew all this sooner and I still struggle to start new things, but I really need money right now and that's why I had to.

Does anyone know how to deal with this? With having trouble just with the first step?

Sharing my story here for processing and in case anyone else might relate or need some added perspective. Like many others, I woke yesterday to the dreadful news of where the US is heading and immediately fell into the pits of dispair.

Like many others, for the last 8 years I've been dialed in with current happenings to stay informed. After Twitter went the way of X, Reddit became my main feed for news updates. I always knew this platform had almost as much potential to become an echo chamber of negativity, not in the same way as Twitter became with right wing opinions, but certainly with the dangers of doom scrolling. So much to fear was unfolding every day, and yesterday it all hit its boiling point.

My feeds were filled with the same existential dread I was feeling. I hate this has happened to our country. I hate it for all of the targeted groups, I hate it for our dying planet, and so much more.

I'm married to an immigrant. She's white and has her green card, so I really hope she's safer than most who don't deserve the fear of deportation, but there's no telling where the new efforts are going to end. She's not from a targeted part of the world, but she is from a certain country that's busy waging war and has proven to have our new president in its pocket. It's so scary to think of my marriage getting ripped apart for something out of our control.

However, after a day of processing and long talks with my equally terrified wife, it's time to accept we did everything we could and focus on living the best lives we possibly can. She's eligible for citizenship and is beginning the process immediately to hopefully protect ourselves, assuming that process will still be an option as things develop. We're not rich, far from it, but we do have a small house we bought last year and no kids. We're not set for life, but we are better off than many others.

There's no telling exactly how bad things are gotta get. I do think it's possible Reddit has become a bubble of existential dread fueling much of these fears. No matter how real the threats may be, the worldwide ramifications are now out of our control.

So it's time I move my focus from impending doom to what I do have control over. My wife, my local community, using the resources we do have to live life as best we can, and my own mental health in all of it.

That last part is where Reddit comes in. If we're going to thrive, it's time to break the addiction of the news cycle. I don't want to delete it altogether, because there are parts of Reddit I genuinely enjoy; discussion about music, movies, games, and lots of personal interests. And I also can't completely disconnect from current events in case any major developments happen that could have a direct impact on our lives, like immigration efforts, reproductive health access, global war, climate collapse, just to name a few.

I've been working on cutting out anything even remotely political from my main feed. Anything news related obviously, but even r/pics or r/memes, because they've all basically become political bubbles of their own. I've relocated a few chosen subs into a custom feed completely separate from my main one, allowing myself small amounts of time every few days to check for anything major, instead of the constant bombardment of "look at how awful our country is." The "Popular" feed is now totally off limits as well.

As much as I'd like to be one of those people, I can't just bury my head in the sand, but there must a balance that from now on emphasizes my personal mental health. Again, there's no telling exactly how bad things are going to get. It'll be bad, I'm sure, but I can't focus on that anymore. It's been a long decade staying informed of every detail, and like so many others, I'm tired boss.

I'll still vote in every election and keep tabs on major developments, but it's time to focus on mental health, and when used too much, Reddit is a detriment to that.

Tl,Dr: if you disagree with the direction our country is heading, the best we can do now is focus on our own mental health, and regulating Reddit use will be a big part of that. Make boundaries and custom feeds if you can't delete it altogether, and focus on yourself, what you love, and your local community. Live your best life.

I believe we'll make it through this. Best of luck to everyone.

Loved this ted talk and thought i would share:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3CvsPAF3_0

If you have an urge to create something, get something done or feel that something is missing that you need; you set out to attract it.

It can be called selective perception. You see what you want to see.

What is on the top of your mind?

The car, something that your business needs, perhaps something that you want to put into existence.

The urge within is like birthing.

There is pain, there is bliss, and there is a lot of confusion.

The ego mind creates these misunderstandings.

Many questions and many doubts.

Do I need it?

Do I deserve it?

Will I get it?

Has anyone done this before?

Am I ready for the change?

Many questions and convulsions.

These vines of thought can grow into a wild jungle if not attended.

Without clarity, it leads to paralysis by analysis.

Without the light to guide you, you will keep wandering in the abyss of darkness, shooting for the aim in the dark.

It is not about what, why and how you want what you want.

There is more to this inner quest that is beyond understanding.

But the answer to this array of questions, doubts, and inconclusiveness lies in the crux of complexity.

The attempt to understand it is very simple.

Be aware.

Read More - https://jett.me/insight/you-want-it-but-are-you-ready/

Let’s be real—stopping my own excuses has been a long, bumpy road. I used to be that person who could talk myself out of almost anything. “I’ll work out tomorrow,” or “It’s just not a good time”—I had a mental library of these little excuses that kept me from actually doing what I wanted.

The turning point came when I realized that these small things were adding up, and they were creating this low-level stress that I just couldn’t shake. I was getting frustrated with myself and feeling like I couldn’t get my act together. So, I decided to try something different.

I started making deals with myself to just do a tiny bit. Like, “You only have to fold five shirts,” or “Just wash the dishes for five minutes.” It sounds ridiculously small, but once I got going, I’d usually just keep going. Five minutes would turn into fifteen. It made the whole thing feel way less overwhelming and I started to trust myself more to get things done.

Then, I began learning how to gently call myself out. When I’d start saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow,” I’d respond with, “You know that’s just an excuse.” I wouldn’t beat myself up, but I’d remind myself of how good it felt if I actually followed through.

And yeah, I still have lazy days, but now I know that starting small and staying kind to myself works better than any big motivation boost.

what do you tell yourself?

Hey! F35 here- and I quit green magic

I can say I have a good life - I was able to enjoy all these years with the right set of friends and adventures, with the right freedom and somehow (as we all need some) luck in this mad world.

Tried weed for the first time when I was a teenager and kept smoking but never on a daily basis - , just on music festivals and summer camps with friends and I can say I keep good memories on the stories and laughs we had around the weed-conversations.

Lived in Holland in my 20s - never smoked on a daily basis as well- so the damage was kind of controlled.

I really enjoy who I am when I smoke. I became a regular in 2020 when Covid hit.

I come from an environment where love is not shown easily so I can be very cold and when I smoke I am all about really looking into someones soul as I go deep in conversations , I become more sensitive and all the moments are happy , feelings are huge in a good way and all makes more sense in the way my brains flows.

without smoking I feel like I don’t even like myself , I am bored af , nothing seems funny and I feel depressed and sad all the time - probably on the hangover phase.. I am very talkative but now I think I don’t have the patience to listen deeply to anyone, including me. I am trying to find some things to compensate but nothing fits.

Not enjoying my job rn is not helping and world “vibes” and future instability worries me much. I never felt anxious while smoking exception for 2 or 3 times in the past year (I guess this is also because I am getting older and finitude is everyday closer) - but i quit because I don’t want to be a future mum who smokes weed, and in the end it has to be harmful. Tried CBD oil, smokes , etc , not the same. I am anxious and non adhd diagnosed but I also have a problem with lack of consistency in which I believe the weed was not helping.

I believe I made the right decision but I was supposed to be with more energy and it is the opposite as I want to be at home all the time but now the mind is just blank in a bad way I cannot even concentrate in me and I hate myself. I started dreaming again (and specially nightmares) If you have past /similar experience or going through the same - let me know your thoughts and strategies, to help me enjoy myself again

Cheers !

Lately, I’ve been feeling stagnant: my job offers no satisfaction, personal goals remain unachieved, and my motivation is at an all-time low. I’ve tried various self-improvement techniques, but none have yielded results.

Has anyone else experienced this? What steps helped you break free from this state and regain interest in life? I’d appreciate any advice or personal stories.

I'm currently 27, I think I been struggling with confidence since middle school like teenage years. I think for the reason is I moved to a new country and didn't know how to speak English well so I got made fun of and that created insecurities or low self esteem and I think I also struggled to make friends. I had such bad luck that any friend I made had to move because of their parents job or something. And I never pushed myself into making friends. Never put myself in groups or being greedy for attention. I think I became a quiet kid but internally I was the opposite. I wanted to do so many things in high school like playing sports and even taking fun electives but I just couldn't put myself in those situations.

I think my life got worse as the more I kept on ignoring my life goals and this lead to low self esteem, social anxiety, fear and overthinking. I still don't know how to fix my life. Gosh I wish I can find a way to do this. Maybe shift the mindset. Flip the switch .. sighs what is it exactly. Tired of procrastinating and ignoring my goals. I can't believe anxiety and fear has been controlled me for years and I'm not even doing anything

I have gained so much weight since i did surgery on my elbow that stopped me from doing sports now that I'm feeling good will pick up again trying to loose 10kg at first

A while back, I felt like I’d lost a lot of my creative spark—everything just felt routine and predictable. The spontaneity and excitement I once had faded, and eventually, I realized I was missing flexibility that made life feel alive.

To get that spark back, I tried something I called “random time”. I started small: on my daily walks, I’d take different routes, sometimes ending up in parts of the neighborhood I’d never really noticed. I also pushed myself to try new podcasts and music genres—anything from pop to random history podcasts. These little changes kept things fresh and made me see even familiar places and routines a bit differently.

I also created a “curiosity hour” once a week where I’d dive into something just for fun—like learning a bit of graphic design or watching a documentary on space. Having that weekly time to explore something random has been incredibly energizing and helps me reset.

These little changes brought back that sense of discovery I’d been craving. It feels like each day is more open-ended now, with room for surprises.

Title

Motivation is great, but I’ve learned it’s not always reliable. Some days I’m just not feeling it, but I’ve found that discipline and consistency are what keep me going. Here’s what I do:

1. Set small, non-negotiable habits – Instead of relying on big goals that can feel overwhelming, I focus on small daily habits. For example, even if I don’t feel like working out, I at least stretch or do something active for a few minutes.

2. Track my progress – I keep a simple journal where I track the things I did that day, even small wins. Looking back on the progress helps me stay disciplined and reminds me why I started.

3. Remember the “why” – Whenever I feel like skipping, I think about why I started in the first place. The long-term benefits I want make it easier to stick to my routine, even when I don’t feel like it.

It’s not perfect, and I still miss days, but focusing on these has made me more consistent overall. If motivation is fading for you too, maybe try one of these out!

Hey everyone! I'm 25M. I've been struggling to stick to a gym routine for a while now. Every time I’d plan out my week, I’d make it a couple of days, then end up skipping the rest. I was getting super frustrated with myself because I knew consistency was the missing piece, but I just couldn’t seem to get there.

A friend suggested I try journaling as a way to stay more accountable. I wasn’t sure if that would help, but I figured, why not? After looking around, I found this website called "Jorite" and decided to give it a go. I’ve just been writing down my workouts, mood, and some general thoughts each day.

It’s only been a couple of weeks, but surprisingly, journalling is helping me stay on track. Just seeing my thoughts and patterns written down makes it easier to spot what’s working and what’s not. I’m not perfect yet, but I’m finally starting to feel like I’m building a real habit.

If anyone else is struggling with consistency, maybe give journaling a try—it’s helped me more than I expected.

What quote helped the most?