Hi everyone :) This weekend I am going to see my son for the first time since I got sober and I need some advice and maybe some encouragement. My son is almost 16 and 8 years ago, when I was using I asked his grandma to take him. I didn’t have a relationship with him for several years. I have been reaching out for the past 5 years after I got sober. We have mostly talked thru text and on the phone and I told him that we can go at his pace, whatever he is comfortable with. His grandma told me that he has questions about everything that happened and he is finally ready to see me in person to talk. I am happy he is ready to see me, but I’m really nervous. My addiction took me to terrible places and I was not a good mother but I want to build a relationship with him. Has anyone been through a similar situation or does anyone have any advice?

Hello everyone,

I’m a 28-year-old in recovery with 2.5 years sober from alcohol. I thank my higher power every day for helping me escape that dark place before it took my life. A significant part of my recovery journey has been my aunt, who is also in recovery. She helped me get into rehab, and we’ve always been close.

This past year has been especially difficult for her; her father and husband both passed away. Even though she’s been sober for years, my mom recently told me she may be using again and is living in a hotel in an unfamiliar city. I’m worried for her life. She keeps texting my family and me about giving away her furniture, saying she plans to move to Florida. I fear she might be contemplating suicide through substance use.

I know her sponsor well; she’s an important figure in our local recovery community. Would it be inappropriate for me to reach out to my aunt’s sponsor to express my concerns? I’m not sure if they are still in contact, and I don’t want to overstep any boundaries. My family doesn’t seem to recognize the red flags I see and has a “let it be” attitude, which frustrates me as someone who wants to help.

What do you all think? I’m open to any opinions, as I’m really struggling with what to do. I hope my prayers for my aunt will help, but I feel I need to take action.

Thank you.

Hi everyone, just letting you know about another sub you may be interested in. I started it recently, so very new - come on over, you’d be most welcome r/recoveringwomen ☺️❤️‍🩹 I’m also looking for extra mods with experience to help us grow.

I love being drunk but at the same time it makes me so miserable. I post weird things or message my friends embarrassing things. Or sometimes if I don’t do something embarrassing. I have nightmares that I do. Or that bad things happen. And then when I wake up I don’t know if it’s real.

I’ve had alcohol poisoning multiple times. I’ve done bad things. I’ve wanted to kill myself multiple times when drunk. I feel so lonely when I’m drunk. Because I do it alone. I’ve never been drunk with friends. I’ve recently quit college (uk) so going to college. hungover or tipsy isn’t really a problem anymore. But I did used to school and college hungover and tipsy. Sometimes I’d even be straight up drunk when I was in secondary school.

But today I’m supposed to be doing an acting gig. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I act awfully when I’m hungover. And I woke up at 4am from a nightmare which I thought was real and now I can’t get back to sleep. I have to be there in a few hours. I’m probably going to take some shots in a few hours if my hangover is still as bad which I’m guessing it will be because I drank a lot and I feel awful.

Not to get drunk or tipsy or anything. Just so I can even out the hangover so I can act well. I have a good reputation outside of the whole dropping out of college thing (I did performing arts). So I’m scared of leaving a bad impression if it’s obvious I’m hungover or even worse obviously I’ve been drinking. I’m so depressed. I want to quit. I always have these moments where I’m like “this is a turning point I am going to quit” like something happens and I genuinely think I’ll stop now from how bad that was.

Then I get depressed or have flashbacks to being raped when I was a small child or I do something embarrassing and I’m like. “I’ll have one vodka coke (two shots of vodka) I’ll drink it slowly” I take a few sips of the vodka coke and sometimes I put more vodka in it because it’s not strong enough. Then I don’t forget about my problems like I wanted too because obviously one vodka coke isn’t going to do much. So then I make another one but drink it fast so maybe id feel the affects a bit more but I don’t so then I just take straight shot after shot until I cant form a sentence. And it’s like every time I gaslight myself that I can control it. But I can’t. I’m not in control of anything anymore.

What’s the best ways you would say to have distractions From the thoughts of always going back? Thankfully my dealer has properly cut me off anything and does check up to see how I’m doing which is one positive which wants me to be better and sober. I did relapse about 4 times or so and mixed it with alcohol (stupidly). What’s the best ways to move on from it and to try and have fun without needing a constant fix of the md?

Ive been struggling with mental health and substance abuse since I was a pre teen, I’ve lived in the same city my whole life and I’m surrounded by people, places and things that make it really difficult for me to stay sober or make much progress. It seems like the only way for me to stay clean is to isolate myself in my apartment away from the people I love which doesn’t really help my mental state. I know that “wherever you go, there you are” but I really believe moving away would help me get better. I’ve tried multiple different forms of therapy and NA meetings, I have made SOME progress but I’m no where near where I want to be and where I believe I could be if I weren’t in the same place I’ve always been. Has anyone here found relief in moving? I am from FL and surrounded by drugs and nightlife

today marks the 8th day i’ve been sober from kratom use. specifically feel frees. if anyone had used and abused those little 2 oz bottles like me i’d love to get connected!

day 4 no alcohol. having a really hard time with not smoking weed. trying to quit everything at the same time cold turkey but with weed, it’s not working for me.

and i’m staying with my parents and i have two younger brothers, youngest is 3. it’s been so hard not ripping my hair out or screaming when i get too overwhelmed because he’s 3 and that’s what they do.

currently in outpatient and considering inpatient because i feel awful putting my family through this, especially with my youngest brother being so young..

would love input, thank you 🫶

CW: weight & coke

Hey guys So I quit coke a little longer than six months ago. I don’t think I was addicted (judging by how ‘easy’ it was to quit) but I did use it A LOT. I lost a bunch of weight during that time and after I quit I gained a lot of weight. I wasn’t surprised at first, I get why coke makes you lose weight so obviously I would gain it back. But I just keep gaining weight? Is there a point where my metabolism stabilizes itself again and I will go back to a normal weight? I don’t really know how to form the question so I hope it’s clear enough. Thanks in advance!

I just don't feel like myself at all. I know things are bound to change but I feel like I've lost my sense of humor. My thoughts feel so slow like I walking through molasses and it's making me not want to be around people. I feel like I can't articulate anything and I'm so anxious it feels like I'm coming down off something.

I've been managing to get longer and longer streaks the last couple of months and this one now is day 5 and I'm just worried that I'm gonna be stuck feeling this way. I've had brief periods of sobriety before where I felt wayy better after a week or so but it just doesn't seem to be happening the last few times.

I ignored my health for a really long time. All some of 4 years after. All I cared about was approaching death at a speed I had control over … or that I thought i did. I planned for the future because people say you should, not because I planned to live in it.

I’ve been sober for 5 weeks. For good. A lot is better. More present, more stable moods, can feel my feelings, healthier … but with renewed health comes atoning for all the ways you knowingly and unknowingly neglected yourself through your addiction.

The SA tht hyperdrove my addiction was the onslaught of the disregard for taking care of myself.

🇨🇭GRAPHIC, be warned🇨🇭 The day after the SA, I was full of dirt/soil down there. Because it happened outside on the ground. I didn’t take a rape kit. I didn’t go to any follow up appointment after waking up in the hospital. I didn’t shower for 3 days. The time since has been a blur of risking my life doing any and everything to make me forget, including dangerous sexual habits.

I’d never had any disease prior. But now I’m seeing a guy. The best guy I know, just a sweetheart and my rock. And I finally have to approach my reproductive health bc I actually plan to live in the future one day. I tested positive for chlamydia and that got cleared up with antibiotics. Blew my mind and tore a rift in our relationship. Becuase I never expected to fall in love or be understood in this life, after everything, and recklessly was not getting tested and having sex (with protection but still). He was just a hookup at first

However after both of our results came back negative again after antibiotics it made us closer and strong and smarter and has really renewed a large part of my self worth. I see why I’m worth more than drinking myself drunk and gambling with my sexual health. However as of late of got an abnormal Pap smear and I’m terrified that my mistakes and alcoholism will be carved in stone becuase of whatever the doctor says the cause is, this coming Friday. Did I become sober too late. Is it still worth it. Am I worth salvaging. I haven’t slept since I got the alert that tests (23hours ago) were abnormal with no further explanation or numbers. I have to wait till Friday because next week is the first week of the semester of my senior year of college. It’s the earliest time they have that won’t conflict withwork, school, or internship

I've been clean for a while, but lately, the weight of my depression has been pulling me back toward using Percocet again. It's a constant battle, and some days feel harder than others. I've been attending NA meetings regularly to find support and stay on track. The meetings help me feel less alone, and connecting with others who understand what I'm going through has been a lifeline. Each day is a step forward, and I'm doing everything I can to keep moving in the right direction.

What's your go-to activity when you're craving a drink?

Hi everyone,
I’m curious to hear from those of you who have successfully quit drinking, what resources or support systems made the biggest difference for you? Whether it was a specific book, online community, therapy, coaching, or something else entirely, I’d love to know what really helped you on your journey.

I’m part of a group focused on supporting women in midlife who are considering quitting drinking, and we’re exploring ways to provide the most effective tools and resources. Your insights could be incredibly valuable to us as we aim to support others on their path to sobriety.

Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences!

Hi, I (f 24) am almost a year and a half clean from fentanyl. I’ve been dating a girl since right before I got clean and we now live together. I haven’t told her that I slept with men for money to make money to use. I don’t know how to have this conversation. I know she would understand and wouldn’t think of me differently. I just would love advice from people that have been in this situation. Thanks guys :)

Hi there. I'm on day 380 of sobriety after being a regular/binge drinker for roughly 24 years. My husband has seen me at my absolute worst and put up with a lot of bs from me at times when I was blackout. He is very proud of me and this last year has changed my life. He doesn't have the same issues as me with alcohol but he has issues. I don't mind that he drinks but lately it has turned into more regular/higher amounts as we are off for the summer. He doesn't see the connection between his drinking and being short with our daughter, grumpy, etc. Or he does and does it anyways. I can't help it, I don't want to be physically intimate or close to him as I feel disconnected. Everyday I feel so grateful for another day sober and he will be struggling with a mild hangover, getting annoyed at everything. He is a wonderful husband and father but I'm finding it hard to navigate this area of our relationship. I suppose I should just be honest but I don't want to pressure him to not drink as I realise this is an entirely personal choice. Anyone struggle with similar? I don't have anyone I can really talk to about this.

I’m gonna try to make this short. I’m a 24F, my partner is a 37M. We’ve been together for about 10 months. We were both in recovery, met in a recovery house. He had 3.5 years clean, fresh out of prison after 5.5 years. I had 6months clean. We immediately fell for each other. Moved out together 3 months in so i could purse a job opportunity. Got engaged 5 months in. At 8 months into the relationship- he relapsed. I stayed and tried to help him through it. I supported us financially for about a month and a half due to his mental state. The relapsed caused severe anxiety, and he did a significant amount of physical Damage to himself while under the influence. I kept pushing him to get involved in recovery. He didn’t. After a month of being loving, supportive, and accepting I started to hit my breaking point. I got tired of the excuses, the short temper, the passive aggressiveness, and him being gone all hours of the night because he had to “think/clam down”. Well turns out he was still using inside our house. I left him. It’s been a roller coaster since. I finally gave him the ultimatum- get into a recovery house or this isn’t going to work. Well he ended up finding a great subcontracting job making a crap ton of money and is saying he’s gonna go to the recovery house in 2 weeks- once he balances out his debt in bills. I’m at a loss. The last 2 months have been nothing but empty promises. I don’t trust him nor believe him. I think in 2 weeks he’ll say- “see I got this” and then we’ll end up back in this situation again soon enough. I have 2 toddlers that love and adore him- I haven’t let him around them and he’s guilting me into seeing them. Smh. I know what to do but I also don’t. Advice? Help? Experience strength and hope please?! Is this even worth fighting for???

My partner is not sober, but is not an alcoholic. I do sometimes romanticize drinking like he does, but I know that is not possible for me.

Looking for experience, strength, and hope from those with partners who are not in recovery or sober.

So I was clean for 6 1/2 years up until April I don’t even understand how I relapsed, it happened so fast yet it wasn’t even by accident. It was planned and calculated and I regret it. To make things worse my husband was also recovery. He had about five years clean.

It has been absolutely hell we’ve been fighting a lot and money is so tight right now that if we don’t fix this problem now we don’t want to lose everything we worked so hard to gain. So I go into treatment, outpatient maybe in I haven’t been sober more than 3 days since April. Should I go back to 12 step meetings but it’s so embarrassing and shameful to have that much time and walk back in at day one words of wisdom, suggestions, get on the right path and not take my life and run it into the ground.

Just any advise or suggestions appreciated

I have 2.5 years clean from iv meth/heroin use, and my legs are COVERED in dark scars. It’s so embarrassing in the summer, I hate leaving my house. I’m married now, and I just feel so unattractive as well. How do I cope? Any topical creams/oils that actually reduce how dark they are? Thought about tattooing my entire lower leg next income tax to cover it 😅😅😅😅

Hey there- First time posting here! I hope everyone is doing well today and finding the lessons in the hardships. I relapsed after 6 months off of pain medication. The first go-around started when I met my husband. He would take pain medication from time to time and would want someone to take it with…I’d have one or two. When I realized it was lame, and was distracting me from improving in my life, I got sober. Everybody’s addiction is different and while I never went totally off the rails, I was always about to fall off. Then I’d sober up for a week or two, get my shit together, then fall off again. You see, it’s complicated. My husband still takes them from time to time. I recently had a medical emergency and after being in the emergency room and thinking about the bill, I figured, “I might as well get what I can out of this,” and finally gave in to the pain meds. I was there alone, and was fighting with myself for about 8 hours…declining opioid pain meds. “No thank you, just an Ibuprofen please.” As soon as I felt it, so much relief came over me…and also do much shame. I was sent home with an Rx that took me days to fill. Then I did. I kept it a secret. Then, my husband said, “Look, I know you’re in pain so I got some of these for you. Just a one-time thing.” So then, I had more than enough. Then, I ran out. I asked my husband for another and he got pissed at me and gave me the silent treatment. I am so confused inside. I understand that I am the one who made the choice—- however, I did not ask him to get any for me at all. He offered. Anyway- at my follow-up, my doctor wrote me another Rx. Again, I struggled because I was already past the minor withdrawal… and then I ended up getting a refill.

Then I ran out. I didn’t want to embarrass myself by asking for another from my doctor, nor do I want to develop a reputation. He’s been my doctor for a very long time. I have a lot of shame about what I’ve done, so I haven’t disclosed this in a medical environment. I’m also worried about insurance rates going up, etc.

In any case, about a week ago, my husband got them AGAIN and offered them to me,…one here, two there,…over about a week. If I ask for one, he gets super pissed at me. Which again, makes me confused, even though I know it’s best that I don’t do them. He says to listen to him and that he is trying to help me…by keeping me out of pain and also by not giving me any when I ask. Yet, he is the one getting them despite my not asking. Then he uses it against me and says I lose credibility in our relationship because I can’t control myself. I’m talking 20mg of hydrocodone split 4 times throughout the day. I don’t feel I’m “off the rails,” but I want to stop for good because I don’t like our relationship dynamic, yet I also have grown to resent him and he doesn’t understand why. I’ll explain to him where my mind is at and how I feel and he tells me what I am thinking and feeling is wrong and that it’s my fault. He says I’m blaming him, despite me taking full accountability for my choice to give-in.

I don’t know what to do. Today will be my first day sober, unless my husband has any surprises. How can I say no? I need time and space…but I feel trapped. If I say I want to take a couple days to getaway, it will turn into an argument and I’ll end up feeling bad and staying. We are married, and for the most part have a good marriage, aside from this power dynamic. He’s always the one in control and I’m always the one giving in…to his needs and suggestions. I’ve thought a few times that maybe he is a narcissist…but I’m too afraid to look at that.

I dunno. Looking for some support—-I hope I’m allowed to post this here.

Thank you ladies. I appreciate any and all replies.

Be well. D.

Does anyone else feel lost since they got sober? I’m a couple years clean & sober now and although my life has obviously improved massively and I’m grateful but I’m crippled by anxiety and loneliness. I’ve got one friend left now that I’m sober, so feel quite alone. Even though I’ve got an amazing sponsor and some great recovery friends, they live hours away, so our relationships consist of Zoom and calls. Sometimes I wonder what the point of fighting this disease is as I feel I merely existing and not actually living. Does anyone relate?

I relapsed on May 1st and went to a hospital for a few weeks, then I went to a treatment center far from home. I just left there 2 days ago, I was only there for a week. I relapsed again as soon as I left. I’m back at home now, but I haven’t told anyone I relapsed again. Actually, I’ve lied to a few people about my sobriety date. I want to get this right, but I don’t feel ready to tell people I relapsed again after leaving treatment. Do I need to correct this now? Can I wait?I know this is an honest program but I don’t feel ready to tell people yet. Though I really want to get my stuff together and work my recovery for real this time. I don’t know what I should do, I was going to tell them and the lie just came right out. Any advice for me?

49 days sober from crack, ketamine, and alcohol. big 5 oh tomorrow! it hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it. those who have some more time under their belt (or anyone really), have any tips or things they want to share that may be helpful to me? proud of myself, but my community of support is small and i can’t help but feel a bit isolated in my journey.

Hello,

I am in search of opioid use recovery programs and services in the US. If anyone has accessed one that has been helpful please let me know the name and city of the program/service below- I would really appreciate it!

Did anyone else start having the most vivid, crazy dreams after they got clean? Or started sleep talking or acting out (usually angry/violent) dreams at night? I'm 5 months clean from multiple substances and haven't slept a full night since I was using

Shooting dope everyday, A boy with dreams lost all hope.

I laugh at you as you toss your life in the wind,

To far gone… it’s us till’ the end.

I’ll be there when you lose your pride.

When you forget your morals, I’m at your side.

You’ll cheat and steal to have that fix,

Won’t take baby to the doctor although she’s sick.

Oops. Another appointment baby missed.

Nanny buys diapers because Daddy stays high,

Daddy hits Mommy and the children cry.

Daddy is a junkie and fast becoming a crook.

You’ll land in jail, a drug addict you remain,

Your heart turns cold as you play the game.

Do not pass go- strip your dignity right here,

This old man wants you, dry your tears,

Quote a price! Self respect long forgotten,

You’d sell your soul to the devil for an Oxycontin.

I told you boy the destination is in your head!

‘Welcome To Hell!’ Next stop… Well, he’s dead.

I told you that I’d stick it out till’ the end,

For me, you traded your dreams and kids,

Your Addiction, Life, and your faithful Friend.