I am a college student on the last semester of my degree, writing this after another sleepless night. Before last year, I had probably done a maximum of 1 or 2 all nighters my whole life, not sure if those even count because I fell asleep right after the sun rose. Since the start of 2023, I've probably done over 50 of them, some of them back to back. I constantly take naps during the evening because I barely get any sleep during the night and when I do and don't set an alarm I can easily sleep 12-14 hours because of how exhausted I am.

This horrible sleeping habit stems majorly from 2 other problems: my complete lack of productivity and my extreme addiction to my phone/computer.

Let's talk about the lack of productivity first. I've always been a very lazy person, probably because I've always had atleast some sort of ability for learning/picking up things fast, so studying on the last day before a test has always been the norm for me, my grades have never been top of the class but decent enough. The problem is that, nowadays, I can't even make myself study on the last day. I had the lowest grade of my life a couple of months ago, 1.1 out of 20, the lowest one out of 350 students, because I simply never read any of the material at all. I also missed an exam completely as I was afraid to embarass myself with such a low grade as I did last time (because I didn't read any of the material at all, yet again). I simply cannot make myself do anything productive at all, so, when the day comes to an end and I watch as another deadline goes under the 24-hour mark, I tell myself that the only way out of this is to pull an all nighter to do whatever needs to be done, but, 90% of the time, I end up doing nothing useful for the whole night and deprive my body of sleep even more than it has been for the last year and a half.

What do I do with my free time then? I stare at a screen. Usually my phone or my computer. I've spent ENTIRE NIGHTS, 8+ hours in a row, just watching tik tok, reels or youtube shorts. Sometimes I also play games but it's mostly getting short dopamine hits from those small videos that I can scroll for hours upon hours. I've uninstalled both tik tok and instagram almost 3 months ago from my phone but it's useless since I end up watching youtube on my computer instead.

All of this has ruined my life in several aspects. I am severely stressed because of the amount of work I have to do, regardless of the fact that I never do it, I keep making empty promises to people around me, telling them that I will do X and Y but I never follow up on those promises, I keep being late to everything because I always fall asleep at random times, I am always grumpy, my sex drive is at an all-time low, I have a gift for my girlfriend which I was going to give her a month ago on our 2-year anniversary but I never finished it, my relationship with my family is horrible because I barely talk to them nor do I visit them, my relationship with my friends is horrible because I never have time for them, etc.

I don't know what to do. I have 3 deadlines this week which I could maybe do if I really put in the work but I have 0 motivation at all to do any of them. I've kind of tried these methods without any success:

• Pomodoro
• Splitting work into small steps
• Trying to just START something and see where it goes

The problem with those methods above is that after one cycle of pomodoro, or after the first small step, or after hitting the first actual hurdle of the task, my mind just wanders off and I end up watching 6 hours of youtube once again.

How do I fix my life?

So I'm currently taking a resit in college, and only have about 4 weeks until my first exams.

And I fucked up by procrastinating and doing the exact same thing I did last year.

I have studied so little in a span of several months it's actually maddening. I'm aware of the stakes and know exactly what I'm doing wrong, but yet I still can't bring myself to start anything.

Every time I think of studying, I tell myself I'll do it in a hour. When that hour passes, I just do the same thing again. By the time the entire day goes by, I tell myself I'll do it tomorrow.

This repeats for weeks and months. I have been legit doing this for 2 years now.

It feels like I have zero discipline despite not wanting to fail. I just end up doing literally anything besides actually studying.

Now my stupid habit is going to tear my life apart, all I feel is guilt and I think my dumb optimism is finally fading away.

Even if I try to turn my life around in these coming weeks, I don't know if I can even start that considering my past records.

I’m 22 years old but don’t really interact with people much partly because I’m introverted, also I don’t think I’ve developed good social skills. There’s moments where I may act like a kid and I’ll link a post in the comments that shows me acting immature. My dad has always told me to be mature, and being mature is something I have really struggled with since I don’t know how to do it.

Sorry if this sounds confusing

I feel like sometimes it's just.. Lonely.

Knowing that others are also actively trying and having some sort of company might help. Like the concept of accountability partners, but it doesn't have to be too personal.

Hey there,

I'm searching for a Forfeit App partner! This app lets you create contracts for completing real-life tasks, and if you fail, you lose money.

You can set challenges like sending a (camera only) pic in the gym or a timelapse of yourself meditating, reading or whatever you can imagine for up to 2 hrs for example.

We can check each other's forfeits that are handed in, like pictures and timelapses, for accountability.

Add me on the app; my username is Nick

I would like to get a shock bracelet to finally be able to make myself do things, but I’m not sure what brand to use. I mostly have heard of Pavlok, but they seem to get mixed reviews. I have also heard some mention maybe trying shock collars. I prefer something that can shock on a timer and also can shock on the spot (like with a button press). Do y’all have any recommendations for what to get or if there are any other products that use pain or discomfort as a motivator?

Edit: I don’t mean pain/discomfort in a hurting way, I mean it in a “making me uncomfortable until I do what I’m supposed to do” kind of way, sorry.

I live with my family and unfortunately my brother seems to be suffering from some kind of mental health issue that he has refused to get treated no matter how many times I ask him to consider seeing a therapist or a doctor about. He uses alcohol a lot and it tends to get him in a state that makes him scream very loudly with no one around him. He has told me he does this as his method of therapy. He also says a lot of hurtful things about me and other members of my family out loud very loudly.

I want to know how I can make my mind not focus on these things when I’m at home. I constantly end up pausing whatever it is I am doing to listen to what he is saying which just ends up making my mind focus on those things. I want to be able to just focus on what is in front of me even while he does these things. I’d rather not call the police or anything as they don’t seem to ever help the situation and just make things worse. There is no physical contact of any kind he just screams a lot and I would greatly appreciate any tips on not getting distracted by it while I’m doing my work or playing video games in my room.

I've started taking a digital marketing course online, and I've been learning spanish for the last year now. its been going really well so far. I am now able to take the course in spanish and understand 95% of it. i would eventually like to work online

the problem is i dont have a support system or sense of community and im really concerned for myself.

i feel like am in a very vulnerable situation. i want a better life and i see my potential. but im at the point where im concerned for my overall well-being, mentally and physically. i an living with an uncomfortable family situation, have health issues, have debt, and I want to leave.

because of my home being unstable, i feel this fear of being homeless, or not even surviving. If something were to happen i dont know if I would be able to protect myself

I've been traveling long term before and I've seen how much of an impact environment makes. I've been places and met people that brought out the best in me. I still have hope. But my home environment and family make me feel so weak, unheard, and powerless. I don't have anyone to talk to and i want to so badly feel like myself again

how can i start to get my life together? what resources can help someone like me in this situation?

Hi, I'm in full time education and have final exams coming up. I'm also more depressed than I think I've ever been. I've had the past two weeks of break to revise but I just couldn't start. I think I've done about 2 hours of work in that time

I went to a party on Friday hoping I would feel better but everyone there was talking about exams and how they're "screwed" even though they've been working hard. Meanwhile, I'm too lazy to even feel motivated by the deadline.

I've been struggling over the past two weeks to eat, shower and not kill myself so I never properly started studying. Now I just feel this crushing sense of despair like I've already failed. I can't tell anyone about this because I know people (family, friends, teachers) would be annoyed at me for my laziness and not asking for help earlier so I feel like I have to get out of this mess myself but it's so fucking hard. It shouldn't be this hard to do but I'm just that lazy and now it feels like it's just too late to do anything

Does anyone have advice on my situation? Any help is appreciated

I started going gym when I was 18 at around 90kg and fat. Fast forward to nearly being 23, I am almost in the same shape I was then maybe a few kg lighter.

Theres definitely something weird with me mentally and physically. I can’t seem to stick to the gym and progress. I always have to battle thoughts of should I cut should I bulk or confusing thoughts on whether what I am doing is optimal or is it even worth it because I am not doing anything correctly.

For reference I am, -Around 87-90kg -fat ish but some muscle, especially legs and traps, everything else looks bad

25-30% bodyfat

Got man boobs lmao, protruding belly

5’8/9 height

I would like to be

A bit leaner

More muscle mass

Definitely more strength

Abs would be ideal

More stamina etc like a hybrid athlete

Anything else is extra

I am not sure how I would start, I am not sure what to eat and I am not sure how to train optimally. I am not sure about anything anymore because theres so much conflicting advice.

How do I start again?

So, I for the past few months have gotten in a bad habbit of going on nsfw subreddits to find Doms. I just love the feeling of being taken care of and adorded. My self worth is not that great and it just makes me feel sexy and wanted. I tend to push away ppl in my actual life and end up with not a ton of friends. I really want to repair this and move on. Any advice for how to move on and stop seeking these type of indviduals or resources to improve my self worth?

Right now life is doing great. I'm doing pretty well and have friends. However, espically on weekends, I just feel like I've been going downhill mentally

It feels like my brain and has been progressively getting number and number and its been getting harder to focus. I've cut off Instagram and Snapchat but im so hooked on Youtube I'll often spend a decent amount of free time just binging it, and while it isn't as terrible as alot of people (average is usually 3-4 hours screentime on weekdays, 6 on weekends, and that includes other stuff like timers, etc.) it's still a hassle. Everyone around me are doing the same workload plus hobbies, personal projects, and more and I can't even get any sense to do any of that stuff. My commitment to school is decent (I spend around 3-4 hours each weekday outside classes), but when I do anything like reading, side projects, or other important things, I can't get myself to do it for more than 10 mintues. The only hobby I have right now is going to the gym 3-5x a week for 40-60 mintues.

It's even much worse on weekends, espically when there's a test on Monday. In fact, this weekend I had a Physics Test yet have only studied maybe 2-3 hours in total even though I have so much more time, and while studying I didn't even know what I was doing half the time.

I think a big part of it is my porn/masturbation addiction. I started masturbating as young as around 4/5 and have been hooked on porn for the most of the past 10 years of my life ever since I was 9—and not just the vanilla stuff. I don't jerk off during weekdays as I have to be at my dorm, but on Fridays to Sunday I come home and jerking off to porn is the only thing that makes me relax after a semi-tiring week of doing nothing but school and binging youtube shorts. And when I do jerk off I do it sometimes up to 6 times in a day for 45 mintues to 2 hours in total (I do it in a way where I can orgasm very quickly), half the time back-to-back and as I result I get to a point sometimes where I end up numb, with nothing but porn being avle to satisfy. I've done NoFap in the past several times and have gone past 7 days plenty of times but I can't bring myself to do it again. It's like its part of my identity, and I can't imagine myself not being addicted to it. It's gotten to a point where even the most deviant things that I watch are so normal to me. I feel almost psychotic with some of the fetishes I have since I was a kid, and it doesn't disturb me almost every day in the slightest. I don't even know if I could fathom the things I got off to if I ever had a normal view of sex, and it doesn't help that I was exposed to so much of that deviant shit since I was 11. I sexualize every women I know and see (except my mom ofc.....ew) to the point I have violent messed up fantazies about them. At this rate I might eventually hurt someone. But no, it doesn't even bother me. I feel zero guilt, zero anything. I love being degenerate to the point its ingrained in who I am. Again it feels like I'm a monster yet I don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe this is normal for a few but when I asked some friends if they felt similar they hard declined.

I just don't have any motivation—let alone any purpose to quit, let alone the discipline and willpower. If I go without porn for a few days it feels like porn is the only thing that relaxes me or "entertains" me.

Out of all my friends I probably have the least amount of willpower: the second I don't like something I quit or move on to something else. My attention span is so shit I can't watch a 3 mintue video without zoning out or scrolling on the comment section. Doing something as simple as 3 mintue meditation feels like a chore, even though I could do that easily a few years ago. Sometimes, espically at home, I'll end up wandering, pacing around, sleeping/laying down, or just zoning out and by the time I catch myself its like 6 in the afternoon and now I have to study for a test. This was a bigger problem in high school where sometimes I would do nothing until around 9pm. I think the reason why I act like this is because I know there is something important I have to do, like an assignment for instance, but it feels like such a time commitment that I procastinate and it ends up with me feeling like I have no time for anything other than school. It's even worse when I have to get all As this semester to get into my major, so if im doing something else other than studying then it also feels like a waste or that im potentially jepordizing my chances. Go for a walk? You have to finish your calculus homework. Want to do community service? You have to study for that test coming up next week. Want to spend 15 mintues reading a book? Gotta write your essay man. It's like my mind is 24/7 programmed to act like this, and tbh its always been like this since high school and I have no idea how to change it (its the reason I barely hanged out in my upperclassmen years)

Some days I feel like im glued to my phone the enitre day, like thats all I do.

I just don't know how most people around me manage to do school, work, and have their own hobbies when I do nothing. I don't even know how so many people who were NEETs who jerked off for 6 hours a day and had no motive to change managed to clean their bed everyday and yet after consuming self-improvement content like Hamza, HealthyGamerGG, and such, I never could do that. I never learned discipline as a child and had a very privilege life where I had alot of free time and where I got what I wanted more often than most, so I never really worked hard for anything, and yes its my fault. I don't feel like I have a reason to do anything, and im not even depressed; I'm a pretty happy and content guy, yet even with good mental health I can't get myself to do the most basic tasks. I've been neglecting myself, eating absolute junk to the point I gained 40 pounds in 7 months, not even brushing my teeth some days, leaving my dorm a mess piled with clothes with shit all over the floor, drinking only like 4 cups of water when I should be drinking a galloon.

To summarize, I want to at least make some long-term progress. I want to be able to make small new habits. I want to be able to do at least something over the weekends, but I feel like a stubborn dog. I've been on self-improvement—watching videos on it, hearing every tip imaganable, reading books, reading posts about it, trying rotinues, trying to build new habits, almost about anything, etc.— in and out since the beginning of COVID and have attempted to make even the simplest things part of everyday life and the only thing that lasted more than 2 week was my ability to stick to a cut once and workout (excluding cardio). And the minute I want to work on myself the most it's always the day before something important like a test. I want a break even though I have plenty of time for a break. I just want to get myself to be able to do shit like others. I don't know how people manage to get into self impeovement and make actual changes within the first months and yet im still here after 4 years still the same as ever.

Sorry if this is long. I know there are simple solution. I know it should be easy for me to change. I just don't know what to do with myself and since I'm again procastinating might've well get some advice from random strangers on the internet.

I really need your help here. Did anyone buy a subscription to the justdone, AI discovery website? Does it work? Does Turnitin plagiarism checker discover any plagiarism after this justdone fix it for me?

I started doing this hack one year ago. You plot all the events that you do on one day on an Excel sheet which automatically gives the time elapsed between certain tasks that you may have done. This has helped me dramatically because I could see what tasks have been taking too much of my time and I could then adjust my schedule accordingly. I went from a D/C student to an A/B student and along with this, my friend went from a B student to a straight-A student by taking 6 APs (by sticking with this logger and using this data to improve daily)! I strongly believe that plotting most/all events that you do in a day would help you become more efficient with your limited time. It helps you allocate time towards other tasks, rather than spending a lot of time on tasks that you may deem as "unproductive." I would like to share with you the Google Excel sheet that has guided me through this one-year journey:

Here is the Google Sheets: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1DGHmmU4B8XNeP9X2MHFvcESaQoxyHVn8CPc7PWcFMtA/edit?usp=sharing

So, to be able to use Google Sheets, you can type in the time in which you started an activity, and in the activity column, you can put the name of the activity that you started. If you want to label an activity as productive you can have the prefix (p_) and then your activity name. If you don't "deem" an activity as productive, you don't need to add this prefix. Also, if you have tasks that are "filler" like driving or going to the bathroom, you can just label the task with "filler." Also, the bottom of the graph right next to this column shows how many minutes you have been productive and the percentage of time you spent in the day has been productive. The 2 graphs shown in this sheet are a pie chart (daily pie chart) that shows your minutes productive and unproductive. The line graph next to this pie chart plots the productivity percentage from each day on a weekly chart. You need to manually input your productivity percentage on the table below the pie chart, for this line graph to show your data. Also, there is a box, right under results in which you can input your best productivity percentage. ALSO, your productivity percentage is automatically calculated (you do not need to calculate it yourself!). Once you have finished your day, simply log your productivity percentage on the weekly table and delete all the times and activities plotted on the "Today" table. Also, do not delete the minutes logged in "minutes per" because it will mess up your data.

Btw: this takes a lot of discipline to do, but it is very rewarding at the end!

My friend who doesn't even attend college is earning a lot of money though his start up
And I am broke here with college spending all my time in coursework and labs, and it's not like you get a job afterwards with all this layoffs and recession.

How do I motivate myself for studying in such a situation? My mind keeps getting distracted because it all feels useless sometimes. I need to stop overthinking, but the job market in my country is really bad too.

As I approach the end of my course and prepare to work in practice, I am keen for as much practice as possible with my own client base, so I’m offering psychological therapy sessions to the first 20 people to express interest on a 'pay what you can' basis.

Why? Because I believe that mental health support should be accessible to everyone, regardless of financial circumstances.

I understand that many individuals face financial constraints that prevent them from seeking the help they need. That's why I'm committed to breaking down those barriers by offering therapy sessions at a price point that people can afford, based on their own financial situation.

So if you or someone you know could benefit from therapy but have been held back by financial concerns, don't hesitate to reach out.

Feel free to DM me for more information or to schedule a session.

Update:

#Just a quick update to express my gratitude for all the DMs regarding the therapy sessions. Your response has been amazing, and I'm currently working through all the messages to select 20 candidates. I appreciate your patience as I review each one. Stay tuned for further updates!

So Im a complete loser, 27, live with parents, no job, no friends, no interests, uninteresting, neurotic, agoraphobic, and a big drug addict. I have tried therapy, psychiatry, AA meetings, addiction counseling, blah blah blah. I feel like Im in a constant depressive loop where I go up to months without drugs, am extremely depressed, and eventually cave. This has been happening for like 8-9 years and Im getting to the point where idk if I can do it anymore. No hotlines please.

Im starting to wonder if I will ever truly change unless Im forced to. I've been thinking about talking to my parents about a date to kick me out if I dont start working at least, maybe what I think is absolute depravity is really just discomfort.

I just wish I knew how to stay at shit for the long haul, this cycle is now beyond exhausting to the point of complete disbelief that my life will ever improve. Youd think after being so miserable for so long Ide figure it out...

Due to my job, I’ll be in an undisclosed location for 6 months. I’m already planning to dial in a solid health and fitness routine. However, I don’t want to come back the same lazy unmotivated individual that I currently am. Any recommendations on improving myself? Book recommendations, fitness routines, etc are all welcomed.

I honestly feel like I am getting dumber and dumber.

No matter how long and good I sleep, I am always "tired". This is not feeling "sleepy". I am mentally exhausted, this is what I mean. Coffee does not help me. Yes, it gives me some mental boost, but it's so disorganized that it's useless.

How does this "mental exhaustion" look like?

• Whenever I read or listen to someone (like a lecture), I get nothing out of it. I absorb lots of words, but can't connect them to a full statement in my head. It's somewhat like if you learn a language, and it's just too fast or too much at once. But here, it's in your native language! This really hinders me in my work (PhD student here), so when I am at seminaries or attend a class, it's impossible for me to follow and I just sit there understanding nothing. Not because the topic is too difficult, but rather because my input system is broken somehow.

• I can't concentrate, so I make silly mistakes in everyday life like forgetting a lot of smaller stuff. Because of this I drift away into "phantasy land" extremely fast, and have to snap out of it to come "back to real life".

• I am mostly just thinking about laying in bed and watching TikTok or YouTube Shorts. It's the activity which doesn't require any brain activity from my side, I just lay in my bed and watch some funny memes, nothing else. Every mentally challenging activity is just too much and just thinking about it gives me a headache.

I am actually sleeping pretty well, and I often wake up fully rested, it's just that it lasts maybe one hour and even in this case I still have this "brain fog".

I am honestly mad at myself, because I can't use my full potential due to that brain fog. I was having this for years now but it's gotten worse and worse with time. So what should I do, and why is it so? I am 26, male, regular diet, no exercise, but so are my PhD friends and they are mentally super sharp, honestly the smartest people I've ever known just by looking how fast they can think.

Hey guys. I am a 21M who has recently become self-aware (to a fault) about his life choices till date, be it my reaction to my previous breakups, my demeanor when I speak with my friends or new people and my own physical strength, which I aim to improve. The thing is that I this 'realization' has brought me to the point where I feel like I have always been nothing more than a bag of shit and the overwhelming feeling of potentially staying like a clumsy, mediocre and bland guy makes me freeze sometimes.

I am trying to be consistent with gym, my academics, improving my social interactions and also trying to push myself out of my comfort zone by trying new things and putting myself in new situations. But here and there, something happens (like i throw my headphones on my bunk bed and they fall down and break, or i spill water in my room), which make me spiral back to the feeling that I am FATED to be mediocre.

To make things worse, I have a roommate who seems to be isolating me and just trying to make me feel more awful about myself by projecting and emphasizing and sometimes, tauntingly mimicking the way I speak or the way I walk and also always mocking me on my clumsiness. He used to be a very close friend and this recent shift has made me feel awful about myself.

I wish to grow out of all this. I know I do have the potential and I have had some amazing stints in the past when I broke all the barriers I though held me back academically, or socially, and lived my best life.

I have a few goals for the remainder of this year

Get in shape

Make new connections

Get good grades

Learn new skills to be used in everyday life

STOP BEING CLUMSY AND PICKED ON BY PEOPLE WHO MAKE FUN OF ME

I just want a spark to restart my journey. I feel too tired to be in a toxic environment like the one I am in right now but I have to be in this place for another month before I am finally moving out. But till then, kindly provide me with some ways to tune out of all the external bs and just focus on myself and my goals.

Please help

I spend far too much time scrolling on my phone. Most advice is to just uninstall everything, but I think there are parts of social media that are beneficial to me (connecting with people, answering questions, interacting with communities I’m a part of, etc.). However, whenever I have a free day I spend it on my phone scrolling unproductively, instead of doing the things that I really want/need to do. I honestly don’t think the cost is worth the benefit right now, but I would ideally like to have regulated social media use and do the things I want/need. Any thoughts or advice?

I (M20) am currently studying in college and have a girlfriend. I smoke and masturbate daily, often multiple times a day. Despite this, I have good grades, am very involved and have healthy relationships, both romantic and not. So from the outside, I seem very put together.

My porn addiction started in my teens as I feel happens with a lot of people. I just think that I’ve never grown out of it. It’s hard to compare because I don’t know other people’s masturbation habits but mine feels a lot worse. I save pictures on my phone and have an alternate account on reddit to save nsfw posts. I’ll look at women I know or am friends with. I hate that I do that, I don’t mean to objectify them, but I continue to. I’ve been pretty awkward with women my whole life but have many great friendships with women and have had a couple romantic relationships. I also have a fetish for women’s tongues (weird yes I’m aware) so there’s that too. I’m gross.

My weed addiction started 2 summers ago. Then my freshmen year of college (I’m currently a sophomore) I started smoking more with some friends. This lead to me buying a weed vape and other things that allowed me to smoke everyday if I wanted to, which I do. My daily smoking began this past summer, so it’s almost been a year. I took a 30-day break earlier this semester because I was worried about my habits and wanted to make sure I was able to break it if I wanted to. I think I should do that again but I’m struggling.

I should also add that (for those that don’t smoke weed) orgasming while high feels really good, so oftentimes I engage in both my vices simultaneously although I’ll do both individually too.

My friends know that I smoke weed a lot but I don’t think they know the extent of it. No one knows about the porn. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend considers watching porn / masturbating to other women as cheating, especially considering that some of them are my friends. It’s not that she doesn’t satisfy me sexually, but maybe my needs are just artificially high.

I want to stop, but can’t seem to. These addictions keep me from my schoolwork and socializing and if it gets worse, I fear my seemingly put together life would unravel. Does anyone have any advice or just comments to help me judge myself? I’m also hoping that just posting this will help, we’ll see.

i'm an 18yo chronic procrastinator and i've got exams starting in a month, but i can't in good faith start my revision because i get too overwhelmed at the mountains of coursework i've let pile up. this happens all the time with me, and despite my counsellor at school being really understanding i still can't seem to concentrate long enough to get my work done, which in turn makes me too anxious to revisit unfinished work, and then i miss my deadlines.

sometimes i think i'm making good progress on an assignment, and then i'll discover that my entire class already have 3000 words written and are handing in drafts while i'm still stuck on an outline! stuff like that just makes me feel useless and incompetent and i get really depressed when trying to approach my coursework, whether it be unfinished lab reports or large essays i have to write. it makes me think- why even bother starting if i'll just muck it up?

my local mental health team are looking into getting me a diagnosis for autism or adhd, but honestly in the meantime i really just want some solid advice/motivation to concentrate on picking up my unfinished work, even when it scares me to confront.

this sounds really pathetic now that i type it all out, but oh well. any advice is welcome :))

i just have no discipline. i’ve always had to keep myself in check my parents never really checked in on me too much. i had my entire teen years wasted away in my bedroom playing video games and consuming media. I never really brushed my teeth or took care of my health until the last couple years (i’m 23 turning 24).

I managed to keep myself in check for a bit and get good enough grades to get to university and graduate with a degree, granted it came with a lot of help from my peers and a lot of procrastination. I managed to get an internship that turned into a full time job and i’ve been able to keep it for over 2 years now with no complaints from anyone on my team. But i could be doing more. there are weeks where i don’t do anything at my job except maybe a couple hours sprinkled in here and there.

Anytime I find consistency with working out there is something that disrupts it and i have trouble getting back on track and it’s very frustrating. I want to do all these things but it’s such a struggle to get myself out of bed to go and just tell myself i need to do them.

I have 2 big hobbies which is guitar and photography. I am able to keep up with guitar and play it daily but not with any consistent practice moreso just noodling around which leaves me meandering. as for photography it comes in waves, usually i’m really into it when i’m travelling but i have trouble doing anything when i live at my normal area which is just a suburb in a small city so i find it very boring and i don’t have a good eye for documenting the ordinary in a fun way.

I just want to achieve my goals but i constantly fall short due to a lack of discipline. I keep telling myself maybe moving out of my families house would help but i have to help my parents with their bills so i don’t make enough to be able to support myself and them. I also work from home so it’s very isolating.

when i hangout with people is when i really take care of myself. but i don’t have a lot of internal motivation or discipline to do it super consistently. i do shower and floss and brush my teeth now consistently which is (and this is embarrassing to admit) a lot better than i was a year ago. but a lot of my happiness and validation comes from others, to the point where i think im addicted to getting attention or praise or validation from others. i hangout with friends 3-4 times a week, and text ppl every day. to the point where im worried im just trying to fast forward to my next social interaction instead of using the time in between to live my life to the fullest.

I don’t know what to do, i don’t want to procrastinate and waste my life away. I know i have a lot of potential as i’ve seen myself achieve things i hadn’t thought id be able to, it’s just upsetting that im the only one holding myself back from fully realizing my true potential in life.

I'm pretty sure that my mental health will be so much more better If I would be able to going to bed and waking up in the morning earlier.

But here I am, in a job I am absolutely not enjoying, constantly sleep deprived because the night before I stayed up to 3:30 am scrolling on my phone or watching TV as a "revenge" of getting my time "confiscated" by work.

How to deal with that ?? Every morning is a pure torture. I think I'll make a separate post for my waking up struggle though, because I think multiple other factors may be in cause. But I think a quality sleep time should be looked through first, and It starts with finding back the motivation to go to sleep earlier, right?

Hi I'm a 17f & I struggle greatly with discipline as my parents used to use unorthodox methods(mental & slight physical abuse) to discipline me as a child so now I'm traumatised and I have terrible brainrot (not from the abuse just from watching tiktok) which causes me to just scroll on tiktok for hours without doing anything. I'm constantly bored and I never do homework even tho I really need to get back on my game and try my hardest this year especially so that I can catch up in school. I haven't found any methods that work for me & my psychologist isn't being helpful rn. She's giving me tips like "work for 20 minutes tiktok for 10" which I've told her doesn't work since I'm not getting a dopamine hit from tiktok I'm just using it cuz its the better of two option (study or tiktok). I'm very open to any options anyone can give me & I'm trying to figure out how to stay on the schedule I've created for myself which consists of wake up, exercise and get ready, go to school, rest and eat, study for an hour etc... Does anyone have any tips on how to get rid of the brainrot and stay on schedule? Also I'm a fantastic reader and I adore books and anime but I do have depressive tendencies and extreme stress and anxiety that surrounds school so if anyone has any sort of idea about what I can do to fix myself I'm open to anything like I'm willing to try whatever because I'm seriously sick of myself. Thanks:)

I have a nasty habit of ordering food when I get too lazy to cook and it's damaging to the old bank account. I've deleted the app and redownloaded it multiple times due to lack of self control. DoorDash is the only delivery service available in my area and I'm hoping I can get a family member to lock it with their password so I myself can't ever use the app unless ordering take out for the family. I know there's app limits with passwords you can set through screen time but once the timer runs out there's an option to just add more time on to continue using the app (which I think just defeats the whole purpose). Anyone know how I can just permanently lock myself out of the app completely?

I'm a 21 year old male, and I have absolutely no friends, no family except for my parents (really just my Mom, I only see my Dad 3-4 times a year for 2 days per visit), am severely depressed, have a massive porn/edging addiction to hardcore porn (I can't even more than 24 hours without edging to it and edge to it for 3-4 hours daily, sometimeseven up to 12 hours), have ADHD, am significantly underweight (I'm 5'11 and 137 LBS), have extremely bad flat feet, never have any energy or motivation to do anything (even simple tasks), never "feel like a man," live as sedentary of a lifestyle as humanly possible, have the worst possible sleep schedule (I got to bed at 9 AM and wake up at 4 PM because why the fuck not), have zero sex drive (I know that sounds completely counter to my massive porn/edging addiction, but I really don't have a sex drive at all, I just edge for hours for the dopamine it gives me), significantly lack general life skills, severely lonely, have no social life, no job, dropped out of college, only $0 in my savings account and $0 in my checking account, no drivers license (or even a learner's permit), never even hugged a girl before, let alone been on a date, kissed, or had sex with one, never been to a party or a bar before, never had alcohol and have zero good life memories, not even in elementary school as the school I went to was awful in so many ways.

Where the fuck do I even start? I'm getting to the point where I don't even care if I die anymore. My situation is as hopeless as it gets. Nothing positive has ever happened to me. EVER. To live is to be miserable, and I've come to the conclusion that it will always be this way until I finally kick the bucket. I guess God (although I doubt he even exists at this point) thought that creating me would be a funny joke or something. I have no idea why I was placed on this planet.