I (25F) broke up with my ex 1 year ago. During a certain amount of time I was only open to casual hookups and I found a good friend for this dynamic, things were well. We stopped this around 4 months ago and now I feel that I am ready to give a fair shot in something serious. For that I am using dating apps, and as any women I get tons of match, almost any guy I find cute, it's a match (I am also selecting only people interested in something serious, and people with similar political views/ similar needs in terms of children (from what they indicate). I dated mutliple people and only investigated it for more than 3 dates with 2 guys, not at the same time.
I know I am not easy because I am extremely honest and emotional, I need a lot of affection and reassurance after the first kiss/sex because when I do it, for me it means I am attached. And unfortunately I must say that despite this I found myself in front of men that are not ready to be exclusive after this, which for me is the bare minimum. If we talk about something serious, you should act in a serious matter in my opinion. It happened with 2 guy in a row and I am basically angry. Because the 2 of them wanted to continue see me (like go to the restaurants, museums, some weekends...), they were deeply mad when I cutted it off and came back many times but I've just blocked them.
The 2 said that sexually we could feel that I was experienced (it's true, I had a lot of partner, I love sex and I want to feel pleasure in this domain, which is something I am not shy to talk about and express before/during/after sex). And both said that they were pressured in how much I expected them to "perform" sexually.

I am thinking about this, and I am certainly not intending to put pressure anyone to do anything they don't want. but it's true that a random 10 min sex party time is for me extremely dissatisfying, but in my opinion all of the kisses, hugging, and so on is part of what is sex, and they were not doing it so much. And with my FWB I had during a few months sex was incredible. Nevertheless, for me, it is clear that it is better and better with time and communication and I don't expect to be the best sex they ever had on the first try, or vice-versa. It's something to work on over time.

Do I put it in a bad way? And how can I approach a man in order to explain that for me sex is very important, I love it and wants to take pleasure in it, without feeling like it's a high demand or like putting pressure on someone?

PS: In my last relationship of 3 years my sex life was not bad, but not very good, and I kind of started to stop wanting to do it with my partner because of it, I think it's sad knowing I could get in the mood everyday if I enjoy it, and I don't want to have a bad sex life.

How can a guy tell a girl is just using him for dinners and experiences? Sometimes they will kiss or sleep with u out of pity or obligation.

I want someone who wants me. Someone who doesnt mind paying for a drink or two. Someone who wants to see me once a week even if it's just for a walk or a coffee.

Any tips?

My boyfriend (M26) and I (F 26) have been together for 1 yr 10 months and living together for about a year and 6 months. And every month I find myself always arguing or compromising in terms of money in our relationship. Every time I try to bring up my issues he always makes me feel like I am making everything about money, when all I’m trying to do is make us be as comfortable as possible. I am the one in charge of our finances by the way so I know when things are tight in a specific month. Every month we both contribute 50/50 into the home. But for some reason my boyfriend is very reckless to the point that it almost seems like he doesn’t know the value of money. Every time I say this, his first argument is why is everything always about money. I don’t know how to approach this anymore and am become very very frustrated with him.

So a girl who i was talking to for the past 3 months suddenly replied my flirty text with a we are just friends text and after that i told her about my feelings and how i liked her and she replied with that its okay and she doesnt want to create any misunderstandings.

Now should i text her to stay being friends or should i leave her alone and move on, and we only chat on text so i have a feeling it would be better if i stay friends as i might get to know her better.

I also feel i confessed very early on as we met only one in person.

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this I am very confused. Im a 20 year old woman and I haven’t had much experience in dating, having had only one relationship that got anywhere near serious. I’m thinking of using a dating app to help meet new people, how/when do I ask about whether or not the other person has an STD/STI? Because I know that with dating apps people aren’t always including that in their profiles or don’t like to talk about it. I’ve been trying to work it out in my head but I can’t seem to find a way that wouldn’t sound awful, I am bad at articulating myself as well sometimes. Sorry if this was long, thank you for any advice!

I’m planning to give him some crystals (that’s my thing) and a note with my number on it, even if he doesn’t like it or appreciate it I told him in the letter he should still keep it. Because I think liking someone in itself is a gift from above😁, my work appreciates work relationships they love it actually so the company is very supportive of that. I have also battled with rejection and my fear of rejection for a while I’m just ready to heal it. I’m pansexual and I don’t know if he likes women so that’s my dilemma

I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks now. It started off really well. He's a talented guy and not to mention handsome as well. I like talking to him a lot. Now, the thing is, he has some issues in his life. He got hurt emotionally and physically in the past. Which is why he's very careful on what to share online. Although, we've been texting a lot, he doesn't share a lot about himself/his life which makes me pretty upset. I share a lot things about myself though because I trust him. And even if I don't, he seem to understand literally everything about me. He reads me like an open book.

When I argue with him and ask him to start opening up, he says he'll do it at his pace and it won't even take a year. Unfortunately, I'm sometimes very impatient about certain things so I told him that if he only wants my body then we can just be friends with benefits and there won't be any emotions involved. Of course, I don't want that because I like him way more than that but I didn't tell him about what I feel. So, he says "I want you for you and your body is just a bonus" he also says, "I am not leaving your feelings out of this. Whatever we decide, we'll decide together".

After that, I ask him that if that's what he has to say then he should open up to me and he says, "I'm deciding what is best for both of us. You may not like it and that's ok but I am deciding this because I have more experience." And yes, he's a couple years older than me.

I really don't know if I should believe him or not. Please give me some advice on this.

Should I call it quits? I have been dating my girlfriend for a little bit over a year now. She is so sensitive. Every time we have a disagreement she takes everything I say the wrong, no matter how I phrase it. I talk to her with this soft tone and claims it makes her feel like I’m talking down to her. I have tried everything to make her happy. I apologize more, I use a passive phrases like “I feel like”. I don’t cuss, call her out her name, or yell and she still balls her eyes out screaming and having a panic attack. You would think she just lost a loved one by the way she acts. She also acts very distant and doesn’t communicate her feelings unless I drag them out of her. Then I’m a talkative person, so most of the time we are arguing I’m the one talking and she says I’m giving her a lecture. But she chooses not to share her feelings or talk to me. But lately, I have noticed that I have been more annoyed with her than usual, I think I’m falling out of love a little or I’m just tired of the relationship. I normally would have broken up with her but she is so different than the other girls and I can honestly see myself marrying her and creating a family with her. But I’m young and I’m not too focused on that right now. Are past few arguments she has communicated that she’s not happy with how things are and I’m not sure how to fix it. She wants me to understand her feelings her but it seems like she doesn’t understand herself half the time. Then it doesn’t help that my family loves her and that I got so close with her family. She also dealing with depression and she is cutting herself… there is so much going on with her. I was trying to get her to get therapy but her family is in the divorce process and money is tight right now. I honestly think it was right person wrong time and the best choice is to break up but it’s hard because I’m so invested. I’m just here for advice.. anything will help

I (18F) and my gf (19F) have been dating for just over a month. We had dated in the past but we had only knew each other for 3 months at the time so we decided to just be friends until now.

Over time I had noticed even as a friend she takes a lot of stuff to heart. Like canceling plans for example. She gets extremely upset over it (which I understand but her reactions are sometimes overboard).

I had previously agreed to go to her Halloween movie watch party (which is happening the 1st of November). That was before my brother told me that they were having my nephew’s first birthday party that day. I told her I may not be able to make it because I had to help my brother cook because there was going to be a good handful of people at his son’s birthday, and he also asked me if I wanted to stay the night (which I said yes to because they’re struggling a bit with juggling work and taking care of their son, who I sometimes babysit.)

I had said I was sorry at least 3 times since I brought it up that I couldn’t go to her Halloween thing, and she said she understood. Today, she tried to ask again if there was any way I could still go after asking me 2-3 times already if I could. When I said I didn’t think so because my brother needs help, she said ‘I’m trying not to get irritated at you’.

I know the internet isn’t the best place to vent about relationships, but I’m really not sure how I’m supposed to react. My first reaction was sadness then a bit of anger, but I’m not even sure if that’s a justified reaction to her getting mad/irritated at me possibly for choosing my nephew’s first bday over a Halloween party.

I said I was sorry again after she said that, and that I would try to make it to the Friendsgiving thing she’s having if our schedules didn’t interfere. Is there any other way I can justify choosing my nephew’s bday over that party? Or am I dick?

So I hooked up with this guy unprotected and I got tested a couple weeks after and was clean.

We're both awkward and too shy to even talk about the fact that we've had sex? But we had sex again last night unprotected again.

Should I send him a text asking if he gets tested regularly and tell him my test results were clean after the first time? How do I word it? I feel embarrassed

I m 21 male from India i m probably suffering from ed should I date girl?....it make so less confident ...I m willing to go for penile implant but not at this age like before marriage ....but I not want to spend my early 20s alone want gf

This guy I know, we’re acquaintances/ casual friends. He said he liked me and I said he’s cute but not my type and we should remain friends. Now he’s sending me so many messages asking what I want, and that I should never change. He’s also making me feel so bad because he’s saying he can’t sleep but will try to and that this is why he hates showing his face? He is making me feel so uncomfortable and slightly guilty too. But I feel his reaction is so ridiculous coz we barelyyy even know each other but he’s really acting like we were in love for 5 years and I broke his heart. What do I do and how do I tell him to politely leave me alone??

Girl ive been taliking to said “im kinda angry at you” So i asked why and she said nvm, after i said “im so confused” and she just liked the message. Wtf does that even mean

context: let’s say you went on a first date with a girl, had some drinks ended up sleeping with her on the first date. Despite this would you text or would you just assume it’s a one night stand?

So basically I'm 25m , i really had a huge crush on a girl in college. We kind of knew each other through mutual friends. We were in touch on and off as friends. Since she was already in a relationship i never thought about me confessing and stuff.

Fast forward to now , she is out of the long term relationship since 5 months. Now we're kind of close , we both are flirting ! It's been 4 years since I've know her , i still kind of have feelings for her.

But she's not over her ex and still in in contact with him and feels really deeply for him , I just don't feel like getting into a relationship with her.

I know i cannot blame her , it's just the situation that's bad. People take time to heal ;-;

I'm confused should I move on or wait for her ?

I think moving on would be a wiser choice.

Asking this subreddit cause my friends seem to not give great advice.

For background info im a 19 year old male uni student with no dating experience. I recently started talking to and seeing this girl i met at a uni pub event around a month ago and although i felt i was punching heavy looks wise, I "slid into her dms" afterwards.

After talking for about two to three weeks about various topics such as hobbies, interests, work and life difficulties, love, existentialism, music and so forth I intially asked her to go for some drinks, but she interpretated it as a study session as I sent a rather cryptic text and i settled for that. It was also during a busy uni period. We clicked pretty well as we studied the same stuff, had similar interests and shared a similar sense of humour. A few more study dates would follow. During these study dates we'd often find ourselves taking lots of study breaks exploring the uni and spending time with each other as we got to know each other more late into the night. For more info we went on three study dates in a row this week. We engage in some minute physical touch quite often normally intiated by me, but recently she also engages in it. We've also had additonal convos about how we flirt with people, dating history and so forth.

Right now were in this weird spot where were really close and sort of both awkardly call each other friends, but I'd like to confess to her before she returns back home for a month (shes an international student). I'd like to know when would be a good time to let her know that I view her as more than a friend and confess my feelings for her. I have exams soon so i can either confess next week, a week before our exams start on another one of our study dates, or i can confess after our exams around a week before she leaves, where we've decided to do some fun post exam dates (like going for drinks, movie night and so forth).

Feel free to ask for more info whether that be publicly or privately through dms.

This is going to be a controversial post so please bare with me. I (25F) have been in 2 relationships. In both I fell in love quite hard and I honestly wanted nothing more than to be with them every minute of the day and call all the time and do lots of cute stuff together. I was attracted to them and wanted to be intimate all the time so this was not an issue. The problem was that everyone around me including friends and family were concerned as they really weren’t conventionally attractive and some might even call them ugly. I knew this but at the time I genuinely didn’t care at all because to me it didn’t matter. I liked them for who they were (or what I thought because it turned toxic after a while - but that’s not the point of this post). But the more people questioned it over time I started to feel judged and was scared to introduce them to family and friends. So I after my ex broke up with me I promised myself that I would date someone who I wouldn’t have these feelings about because it’s really not fair on them but yet again I am talking to a guy right now who is so sweet and we have loads of things in common and I know he would treat me well but I am scared of judgement from everyone around me about how he looks. I feel like a terrible person even thinking like this but honestly the judgement in the past has been so hard to deal with.

Title

So sorted a date set time and place and here I am alone in a bar. How long before I just give up and go home??

As the title says, I am wondering if being curious about my GF's male friends and what she is up to with them can be considered insecure.

I had a couple of past relationships and whenever she had plans involving her guy friends, I just simply asked, my ex explained and all was well, either it would be a group thing or a 1 on 1. If she had meeting with some guy alone, i naturally inquired a bit further, but considering her job it was absolutely natural. Also I didn't repeatedly ask about the same guy friends, only if it was someone I didn't know.

Now I am with a girl, that is being (maybe kind of) secretive about friends she is hanging out with. She usually spends time with the same one or two girl friends, and when she does, she tells me herself all about her day, but when she is with male friends, she tells me what she does very briefly. I also need to point out, she lets me read her text, when she is laying on me, she even turns the phone, so i have better view. I wasn't interested in reading her messages, as it isn't really my problem and it is her privacy, but i won't turn away my head, if i can clearly see.

Well the problem is, we argued in the past, because i admit, i got kind of jealous, but from my point, not entirely unjustified. I don't forbid her to hang out with her male friends, or tell her, she shouldn't make new ones, but I would like to know what she is doing, who she is doing it with and who is the guy, that is meeting her. I've been told im insecure and little bit controlling, but I really can't see how that could be.

The acusations of being controlling and insecure came a week ago, she was on the beach with her girl friends and she wasn't reaching out well into the night, and when she did, she only said good night, which was strange for her. She told me herself in the morning, that she was up all night on the beach with her friends and that one of her single friend invited over guy from Tinder, she got weed of and the guy brought friends. They were drinking all night and I got mad. Meeting a guys from Tinder is a huge red flag of itself, but i know, we sometimes cannot predict what our friends cook up and we end up in a complicated situation like this. But the fact that she lied that she is going to sleep and then i found out it wasn't the case, really got my imagination spinning on what could have had happened there. My mind immedeatly went to flirting, kissing or possibly cheating.

It hasn't been really the same since then, and I really do not know. On one hand, i feel i'm not being unreasonable with my feelings, since i do not feel that way when i know what she is up to. On the other hand I really might be insecure, and make a big deal out of weird situation, she didn't instigate

Last year, after my husband had a manic episode where he ended up in rehab, with police involved and, of course, a lot of cheating incidents, he finally returned to normal. After saying that he didn’t love me and everything else, he came back to his senses. He recognized all the harm he had caused me and didn’t remember the bad things he had done, the betrayals. Then he started asking to get back together, not to end the relationship. He promised that because of all this, he would go back to his home country, stay with his parents, and get treatment for his bipolar disorder. So, he went back to his country and promised he wouldn’t have relationships with other people or get on dating apps.

We spent a year apart, talking every day; there wasn’t a single day we didn’t communicate. He always sent me gifts, telling me he loved me. Until he came back to the same city I’m in and returned acting strange. That’s when I discovered he has a girlfriend. He found a girlfriend while he was abroad, even while telling me every day that he was getting treatment to feel better for me. I found out; he didn’t tell me—I discovered it on my own. So, I messaged the girl and blocked him. We never talked about the divorce, and now he just sent me a message about the divorce, via text, without ever bringing it up in person. What should I say?

I (21F) has a boyfriend. we’ve been officially together for 2 months but we’ve been talking for 6 months. we’re long distance but he visited me 2 months ago (that’s when we got official). he said that if i decide to go finish college, we must put our relationship on hold. we had this plan to marry after finishing my college but he said that the reason he feel the need to do this, is until we have a more solid idea of how long before we can actually be together in person he feel he will burn out before we get to that point. he wants to be with me but our love languages is physical touch and our personalities do not work with these types of relationships. he also said that nothing has to change between me and him besides the commitment of having a current relationship. what should i do and what kind of relationship is this??

I have been dating for the past few months but haven't truly committed to anyone, which makes me feel anxious and undeserved.

So here is the case: last week, a college friend (who I had a secret crush for over a year and we reply to each other's story from time to time) from her place of work came to my city and stayed for a week. We went to an fashion show on the second day she arrived which I invited her a month back and it was an very exclusive event. She didn't know it was a one-on-one thing and asked if my friends are joining. I was worried that it made her feel uncomfortable going out with me one-on-one. So after the show, I asked her out for a dinner with my friend and she came. After the dinner, my friend left early and I asked her for a walk in the city.

It was a LONG 2-hr+ walk. I showed her my office (in late night) and we exchange opinions on lots of personal matters except on relationship status. She mentioned her ex for a couple times but it seems she did not want to expand on it so I didn't bother to ask. It was fun and she asked my to go to museum with her on the next day or two. I said yes and we say goodbye. (I think she mentioned that we walked to my place and she'll take a ride home since we are living at the same direction? but I was unsure since 1) it would be a bit far, 2) we don't really have a lot physical interactions going on at the moment and i just don't think I get a clearance).

230am she shot me a text: sleep early.

Not yet, i replied.

But things went downhill since that night. It takes significantly longer for her to reply to my text. And when we say we'll go to the museum, she even went there first without waiting for me to show up. (we agreed to go together after I get off work since she worked remote, and when i shoot her the text that i was off work, she told me that she was already there) It all of sudden feel weird for me to go out there to join her late. And when i arrived she told me that she had dinner later with her friend and if i want to join. I was a bit upset and naturally declined this out-of-blue invitation.

Since then, she seems to be busy with her work and reply my text in a cold manner. I was just confused and couldn't get over it. She was my type but now I am not sure.

So, here I am, as a self-reflected guy. Is there anything that I did to turn her off or did she just mean to be friendly and I got the wrong idea? Please, reddit, save me from this pathetic bachelor life.

I’m a bit conflicted (M24). I met someone (F21) on Tinder, and we messaged for about three weeks before we finally managed to meet up. Our first date went very well she even texted me right afterward, saying she had a wonderful time and thanked me. So, we kept chatting then and agreed on a second date for Friday. I had just finished my last week in the military and met her right afterward. Things were normal we went to my place (with no sexual intentions), ate something, and then looked at planets through a telescope.

At one point, she seemed a bit stiff, but she soon got close again. From my side, I was clearly a bit tired and scattered after the military, especially because a comrade I knew fairly well had recently passed away in a parachuting accident. We used to jump together in the military, so his passing did affect me little. I found out about it three days after the first date. I admit, I was probably a bit too caring or intense, maybe. She ended up leaving early on Saturday at 5:30 a.m. she said she couldn’t sleep. I get it my bed isn’t the biggest, and I couldn’t really sleep either. She had already mentioned in the chat that she had plans to study around noon on Saturday, but when she left, she had to hurry to catch the bus. She said we could see each other again and gave me a few kisses before leaving. When she got home, she texted, “I’m home, hope you managed to catch up on some sleep.” I admit I was a bit mad because I’d actually reserved brunch as a small surprise, and I ended up going alone lol

On Sunday evening, I got a message from her saying that she felt she didn’t have enough interest to continue getting to know each other. She said I was a nice and cool guy. I told her that I wasn’t fully present because of the military stuff, but I didn’t mention the loss of my comrade. She then said she’d realized she needed to focus on her studies (biology) and other things in life. I understand her studies are intense. But it seemed like this realization came up only now.

I respected her decision, but it just feels unclear to me. On the first date, she initiated closeness, and the kiss came from me. We understood each other perfectly. Before she came over, I even asked what snacks she liked, and she said, “I’m perfectly happy just spending time with you.” She also kissed me on her own on the second date. It’s all a mystery to me maybe it was just too much or too fast to come to my place, or maybe I should have been more open about what had happened in the military. I’ve thought about messaging her in 1-2 months, once her study phase is over, to see if things might feel different then. She didn’t seem like there was another guy involved when she was on her phone in front of me, she was openly texting, and she didn’t try to hide anything. Maybe I’m mistaken. What do you think? Should I try again and just see what happens? Or leave it like that?

Not long ago, I joined Facebook, and since then have been receiving messages by a guy from my old home town, who I don’t remember but who obviously remembers me. Anyway, it turns out we both now live in the same city. He has been quite persistent in messaging me and asking me out, and after a couple of months basically ignoring his messages (I don’t check messenger often) I apologised for seeming rude then said ok I’ll go for a drink with him. What’s the harm right? I also didn’t want to offend someone who, according to Facebook, knows and is friends with a lot of my contacts.

He seemed happy that I agreed to a drink, and sent me more messages saying he had a huge crush on me all those years ago and even sent me a song…a really weird cover version of “closer” by chain smokers So I finally had a look at his Facebook page for the first time and….yep!! He’s married and has been for over 20 years, so straight out of high school basically. Kids etc. What surprised me most was the plethora of regular, (at least one per month) pictorial Facebook updates on all these lovely cutesy c ouple type adventures he takes with his wife So, Im thinking of waiting until the last minute to text him and ask him if he is bringing his wife to our “date” or something like that. What should I say to this person? I don’t want to let the wife know because I don’t want to be the reason for her heartbreak- especially since I don’t even know her husband!!!! What should I say/do to show this guy what a jerk he is!!

Been on 6 dates with this guy and finally hooked up . Only problem is that we just had the STD talk and showed tests. I’ve been celibate for over a year by choice and haven’t really wanted to date. I’ve been enjoying talking to this guy who I met through a mutual friend. I like him a lot and enjoy hanging out with him, it’s just things went so fast. I didn’t plan on hooking up with him so soon although I want to continue to. I don’t even know if I want to date him just because I haven’t had much desire nor expensive in dating world to really be able to tell what’s going on in this situation. He definitely says he likes me a lot and shows it… I just got divorced a year and a half ago and it’s been interesting navigating dating for the first time. I’m 27f

I recently started seeing this girl who’s I met online. For context, we started texting for about a week until I started being less "interested" due to the distance. Recently, she went out of the state to meet. When I was with her, I felt so comfortable and felt like I could be 100% of myself when I’m with her. I enjoy spending time with her etc. She’s met my family and even told me how she’s committed to move out when she’s done with college. Now here’s the thing,, I’m really bad with girls none of my past relationships has ever passed 3 months. When I compare her to other girls I somehow feel that she’s different in a really good way, she treats me really really well blah blah all of those stuff but mainly I feel "at home" when I’m with her. My feelings are really confusing not only with her but in general. At times I feel I really like her other times I don’t feel that way. We’ve both agreed to continue talking and just to confirm my feelings with her???

Reddit I need help: HOW DO I KNOW IF I TRULY LIKE A GIRL???

Hey everyone,

I'm[M24] honestly not sure where else to turn, and this is something that’s been weighing on me for so long. I’m a pretty lonely guy and I’ve never had a girlfriend. It feels like everyone around me is finding love so easily, while I’m still here, wishing I had someone to share my life with.

It’s not about intimacy or anything like that—I just really want someone who I can connect with deeply, someone who would listen to me, and who I could listen to, too. Someone to share even the small things with. I guess it sounds simple, but maybe that’s just my old-school mindset talking.

I feel like I don’t fit in with this generation. I’m a bit introverted and find it hard to open up to people, especially when it feels like everyone around me has this fast-paced approach to dating and relationships. I’ve always wanted something deeper, something lasting, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s too much to ask for nowadays.

If anyone has advice, or just wants to share thoughts, I’m all ears. I don’t get the chance to talk about this with people often, so any bit of connection would really mean a lot right now.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this.

Need some advise or your thoughts

I’m in a little pickle, I’ve been dating this girl and it’s difficult to make plans with her. She’s super “on” when we talk, but often flakes when we (mostly me) try to make plans. I’m divided by being direct towards here, and ask if she’s actually interested or not, and if not I will tell her that I’m moving on. Or just simple move on without “confronting" her. I’ve been quite successful with girls in the past, but never experienced a girl giving such mixed signals, either they have shown interest and easy to plan with, or show little interest at all. Which option should I go with😅

Hi people! So I have a date tomorrow (31M) and I am (28F). We met online and are planning to meet and get to know each other. In conversation he told me he doesn’t work due to an illness. I didn’t want to pry and as we had already planned to meet in person I thought it would be best to talk in person. This isn’t going to be a serious relationship at some point and more like a FWB situation which is alright for me at the moment. He did also mention frequent doctor appointments. I want to be mindful of his situation and would like to understand it better. I don’t understand how I can put that question forth though. Politely and respectfully and not in anyway that I wouldn’t be interested in him anymore after. Any advice on how I can ask him about his condition without being rude so I can be mindful and not act like I am completely ignoring his condition and not talking about it at all?