Just curious on your thoughts or experience. I am 7 months into recovery and have torn on whether drinking N/A beer in a social setting is considered ‘cheating’ on my sobriety.

I have been smoking weed ever since I was 13 years old I am 25 now and it is slowly ruining my life. I have tried to quit one time before and that did not work because and I gave in because I ended up with really bad depressive episodes. My mood was horrible. I had no appetite. I just don’t wanna go through that again. On average, I smoke about three times a day, I cannot go one day without smoking because I just don’t feel normal so I’m obviously addicted at this point but since I’ve been smoking so long, the doctors think it is causing me to have cyclic vomiting syndrome. Has anyone else heard about this? Every time I go on vacation no matter what I eat I end up sick in the hospital and the doctors can’t find anything wrong with me once they ask if I smoke weed they tell me its caused of that. Which has happened five times in the last year. Being I’ve smoked weed almost half of my life. I need some help and tips. Literally any advice you have for me because I really want to change my way of life. Thank you

Looking to find a medicated detox/program really anywhere in the States except really where I am now which is New England. Don't know if anybody knows of any sponsorships or partial sponsorships if I'm able to get somebody to put up some money. I know I'm ready and I would like to jump on the opportunity while I feel confident. Any help is greatly appreciated

i’m 19 and 2 weeks sober from smoking weed 3-6 times a day for 3 years straight, no breaks. i know weed isn’t a hard drug but it effected me pretty hard. i spent those 3 years doing literally nothing besides getting high and sitting around in my bedroom. no social development, no practicing hobbies, no developing skills. nothing. now i’m sober and feel so much better and have so much more energy and clarity but i also feel like i have nothing. i have nothing im good at. no sense of identity or personality. no skills or experience with anything. i feel like 16 - 19 are such important years to develop those things and i pissed them all away getting high. my peers are all ahead of me, they’re all good at some kind of art or music or beginning a career. i know it’s an amazing thing that im finally sober and i need to be proud of myself for that. but it really sucks being left with nothing and having to pick up the pieces. i feel like im late to the party and need to catch up. i’d be so much further ahead in life right now if i spent those 3 years doing anything productive.

Waiting for my wife’s insurance to kick in. I’ll be going probably at the end of this week once the financial stuff is verified.

I’m sad to leave her but I also have to. Only for a while. I need real help. Even though I’m not where I use to be, I’m still not okay. I am clean when it comes to everything except my prescription diazepam which I don’t abuse. I was an opiate addict. And I just got off sublocade 9 months ago. I need help getting through why I use, why I am anxious and depressed and all my trauma I’ve gone through.

My wife is extremely sad that I’m going for be gone for 30 days. Maybe a couple weeks longer. I want to comfort her, and she’s been so supportive. Esp adding me to her insurance and me cancelling my crappy one. It’s expensive and I iust appreciate her so much. But she’s very sad… what can I do to help?

I’ll be 45 minutes away. So she can visit when they’ll allow it I’m sure. I’m so happy to finally be putting my pride aside and not letting my first experience at a horrible detox center deter me from getting real help and letting people in.

I don’t care anymore what people think I just wanna get better and get off my medicine.

“Recovery is a beautiful journey, but it’s only for those who are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired—because change starts when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the fear of letting go.” -Author Unknown

After getting feedback from this community, which gave me the confidence to be honest about my addictions with loved ones, I am now figuring out a 30-day impatient to start in the coming days. First- thanks to everyone who replied to me last time, more appreciative than I can type.

That being said, I'm preparing to go to a 30-day rehab program and would really appreciate any advice on how to make the most of it. What are some essential items I should (can) bring with me? Are there things I should ask for once I arrive to make the experience more comfortable or effective? Any tips on what to expect, how to mentally prepare, or things I should know in advance? I also have an addiction to audiobooks/podcasts, is that something I will need to forget? Thanks in advance for your help!

So I don’t really know where to start honestly, I have been doing well. Well, well enough anyway that is. I’ve been staying off cocaine use, haven’t used in around a month now and I’m feeling I don’t know, the same? If not just more bored and more annoyed with things, how my life is going.

I’ve been back in the gym for 7 weeks counting now and have been on a full on crusade of becoming a beast and aiming my angers and frustrations into becoming a better version of myself. I have even been thinking about transitioning!! Yeah you’re right, crazy right? I wanna transition from man to alpha man!!

Anyways enough of the comedy time to get to the basics and nitty gritty of things, I honestly don’t know what I’m actually doing and don’t even know what to write about but it does feel kind of effective expressing my emotions into words. Of everything I’ve done in my life, good or bad I never thought my life would turn out like this.

25 years old, no career, no girlfriend or many friends left, drug addiction, living with parents and not earning money. I just have to be brutally honest. I used to have it all, house, girlfriend, nice cars, lots of friends, that shit all went away because I let a few snakes in my circle, got involved heavy with criminal activities which I am truly remorseful for and can gladly say I have no part of that world whatsoever anymore.

I guess my goal of writing regular journals is to understand myself more and understand what I aim to do with the rest of my life. I have always struggled with understanding myself and my passions but now it’s clear, now my mind is rid of the negativity and fog I indeed stand I only want to be a good person and help people. I love fitness, weightlifting, nutrition and speaking to people about serious, meaningful topics. Topics where we can both grow and where I can help people who are similar to me and I can somewhat relate to people in my shoes.

I don’t know man just feels like I’m going no where but time will tell, I’m aiming towards rehab, been going to turning point meetings once a week and really trying this sober living stuff.

Anyway this is my intro and I’ll update regularly.

Overdose

Hi, I just want to say something about what happened to me yesterday afternoon. So I was a polysubstance drug addict for 17 years, up until yesterday I’d been clean for 16 months until I was going through my room and found an old shoebox in my wardrobe that was filled with needles old baggies some ghb and two oxycodone pills. I instantly felt sick after discovering the contents of the shoebox, but after the initial shock of finding it all the only thing I could think about was using and instead of coming clean with my loved one’s and getting rid of it all I went ahead and used. It was almost like I couldn’t control myself, once I had the pills and fresh needles in my hand it was like I became possessed, I instantly went to my desk and crushed the two 10mg oxycodone targin pills and injected them. The initial rush was amazing but soon after I realised that it was too strong and that I had fkd up I made it about two steps out of my room and collapsed. I think after about a minute my body started going into extremely harsh drug induced dystonia, intense myoclonic jerks, my breathing was shuttered almost like each time I tried to inhale I would have a hiccup reaction and I was going in and out of a delirium. While this was all happening I came to the realisation that I was going to die.. but the only thing I could think about was my family and how I didn’t want to lose them or vice versa. After fighting off death for the next I’m not sure how long I managed to remember that my phone was on my kitchen bench and I somehow mustered up all the strength I had left and crawled to my phone to call emergency services. I spent time in the hospital and was just discharged some time ago. I guess I am writing all of this for others who are thinking of using again to say to them that life is way too beautiful to let go of. Please know that there is help out there and that you are loved and cherished..! Stay safe out there people you are worth it..! ❤️🙏🦾

I want to put this out into the universe for manifestation and spiritual purposes, I have been the black sheep scape goat of everything sucombing to the negativity easily influenced to my enviroment, I am now 18 about to be 19 and mentally / Emotionally I still feel like I'm 9 years old. I am suffering from addiction like no other and have borderline personality disorder which went undiagnosed for several years, I had no idea why others could get attached to thibgs so easily and find passion, I couldint undeestand why I was so impulsive and a wreck but then seemed to be okay 3 days later. It's no way to live. I am a slave to the physical realm. I am a slave to chemicals. You will suffer enough, you will get scared so much that you become numb, then when your not you will be terrified of the repercussions, addiction will eat you. Ive been to 4 rehabs and the JDC before 17. Why? I just couldint stop getting high, everyone looks at me different, I am never comfortable in my own skin, I cant live. I'm going to my last rehab center ever, i will never touch a drug or substance again. I am scared now. The illusion is gone, to my ones asleep still. You will suffer enough, or you will randomly be d°°° in some random cannon event that's waiting to catch up to you? People havint changed, you did, the world isint sick, you are... You are the statistic they speak of. You are the abomination that cripples and divdes people. You are not human anymore, you are fantasy of manipulation masks and false realities. Don't touch this stuff. The eyes should not be awoke, would you rather have the chance at some sort of chemical gain? Or would you rather be happy with your own chemicals. They can be manifested, they have been, and there will be a time when you look back and can say, "wow that really almost killed me, all I had to do was force myself to stop?" I'm ready to live and see the world, I can't die in my own house... You know it will get worse, you lie to yourself, and there is 10 feet of concrete between your true soul and what you are now. But you never are really gone. Untill you choose to come back. Escape the devil please!!!! He's got you dragged to hell.

I live near T - County, Canton/Zanesville area and I really need a good detox center but I don't know where to start, I've already tried the mansion in Cambridge but it didint work out. Would anyone have recommendations? I hate to post my buisness obline but this is urgent. My life is on the line

As my title suggests, I've been in recovery for 2 and a half years. The last couple days, I've been craving H hardcore. My landlord unexpectedly announced that he is planning on selling the building by spring and not-so-subtly suggested that I need to move before then. My housemate didn't pick up his meds on time, so he was in a seriously foul mood and was up late the last few nights, having meltdowns, which amplified my anxiety and triggered flaskbacks to my abusive marraige. My folks dropped a huge stressor on me letting me know that they wrote my brother out of the will and I'll inherit their house and property when they pass. I call that a stressor because nobody wants to think about their parents mortality if they're on good terms. Anyway, it's been all I can do to stay away from my old using grounds, since I live too far for anyone to deliver. I have too much to lose. I keep reciting all the positives in my head, "I'm almost done with probation, my relationship with my parents is better than its ever been, my divorce will be final in February..." I don't know, I guess I just needed to vent in a forum where there are others who might understand.

Hey so I just posted 2 days ago about me being 7 months sober and I’m very happy but last night I had a dream kinda about the things I use to be addicted to and had the same feeling I had being high, and ever since I woke up it’s all I can think about. Any tips on how to get it off ur mind? I’ve been fine for these 7 months (as fine as a recovering addict can be) and now all I can think abt it getting high. Any tips??

Everyone currently in my life can’t fully appreciate my anniversary today so thought I’d pop in here real quick!

Hi!

I have been trying to get clean for the past 8 years. Been heavy user since I was 16 and it has been an all out sh*t-fest since. I'm 32 today.

I never thought I would reach my 33nd birthday. I never thought I would be able to have a life i could enjoy. I never thought I would be able to let my guard down. I never thought I would experience love again.

This time around I have been clean for just over two months. What's different this time?

I enrolled NA group and worked with the steps. I decided to make a full transformation of my life philosophy and accept the fact that I really need help to make this work. I opened up my heart and ego, I delved deep into myself and started doing the work.

The grass is greener on the other side huh? It most certainly is.

The past 55 days have been surreal, to begin with. This feeling slowly started to transform day by day, with the force of my higher self and by the divine consciousness, I started to feel again. Sorrow, anger, fear, happiness, love..

Each day I begin with affirmations and in the beginning it was "fake it til you make it", but very fast these affirmations became truths. I am a part of a world filled with love and joy. I take part of other peoples love, care and courage. Everyday I contemplate about all the good things I am part of, all the good situations I create for myself and since I'm good to myself, I also share all this goodness with the surrounding world and the people I interact with.

There is hope for all of us! Take it day by day and give it your best, we will make bad decisions from time to time but don't let that break you!

Keep on working with yourself and everything positive and good, everything filled with love and care, these things no longer come to you as coincidences, they suddenly become YOU!

I don’t have anyone to share this with so I thought I would share here

When I was 15 and dealing with a lot of shit abt friends and family and just personal issues. I hung around the wrong group of people who introduced me to weed, I started by smoking with them every Friday to the weekends to every day and even in school. When that wasent working for me anymore I switched to over the counter pills, anything I could find. I feel like it’s not really talked about how over the counter shit can get so addicting. Soon brought me to buying pills of any source. I would take anything. I never told any of my friends or family since I was 15 and didn’t want them to look at me different. 7 months ago I got these pills from my dealer and didn’t know that it was something serious and took them. Had the worst trip of my life and ended up ODing in my room. My brother found me but he didn’t know what I was doing and thought I was greening out. He brought me to the couch and hung out with me the rest of the night. I never told him. I decided that day I needed to get sober. I’ve now reached 7 months and 2 days free of pills, weed, and wtv else I was taking 😂. I’m now turning 17 soon and never thought I would see the day.

Just Talked About This Today… I’ve been sober going on 36 years and that first year in recovery was a b💥tch!

This may help someone struggling, love yall!

5 Tips to Stay Strong in Early Recovery During the Holidays

The holidays can be a challenging time for those of us in early recovery.

The stress, temptations, and family dynamics can feel overwhelming—but you’re not alone.

Here are five tips to help you navigate this season and stay on track:

1. Stick to Your Routine:

Structure is your best friend. Keep attending meetings, working with your sponsor, or practicing daily mindfulness. Consistency builds confidence.

2. Set Boundaries:

It’s okay to say no to events or people that may jeopardize your recovery.

Protect your peace and prioritize your well-being.

3. Have an Exit Plan:

If you do attend a gathering, drive yourself or have a way to leave if things get uncomfortable.

Know your triggers, and don’t hesitate to step away.

4. Lean on Your Support System: Stay connected with your sober community.

A quick text, call, or coffee with a trusted friend can keep you grounded.

5. Focus on Gratitude:

Holidays are about connection, not perfection.

Reflect on what you’re grateful for in recovery, whether it’s a clear mind, a safe space, or small daily wins.

Remember: You don’t have to face this alone. Recovery is a gift—protect it one day, one choice, and one moment at a time.

What are your go-to tips for staying sober during the holidays? Let’s share and support each other. 💪

I've started cutting myself recently without the intention of sh, but it became addictive, I'm trying to stop it in the beginning and I'm 40 hours clean, and pushed through an anxiety crisis without any form of self harm!!! I don't have anyone to share this with, and I'm really proud of myself :)

See, I've been trying to quit shit for months. Quit coke cold turkey for almost 6 months. A few months after that, I heavily cut down on my drinking.

Then, oddly enough, when I thought I was starting to feel healthier, more energy, more money, I'd get this depression that creeps into my mind. Like a constant state of ennui and just a dissatisfaction with life in general.

I relapsed last weekend, and oddly enough, I didn't have a crashing depression afterward. Almost like I satisfied a craving that has been there for months.

I can't keep doing that, though. I know I need to feel content with life without needing to be torqued all the time.

I genuinely want to know. Those of you here who used methamphetamine intravenously. What are some things that helped you get off and stay off?

Here is my story. Please be respectful and understanding. It is very easy in hindsight to see my stupidity, but things happened slowly so it was easy to ignore the red flags.

Full disclosure: I have a history of opiate and alcohol and stimulant addiction, and I was sober for almost 5 years before deciding to try kanna extract. I had already been using pure kanna leaf powder in a pre-workout for several years without issue, so I did not think much about trying an extract form.

I tried some of the more commonly recommended brands, but they didn’t seem to do anything for me. I then found a website that sold kanna liquid extract, and I decided to try and purchase some from them because they were also selling some other items that I needed at the time. That particular extract seem to work much better than any of the other ones I had tried. I got a very calming euphoria that lasted for about an hour and then a calmness that lasted for maybe two or three more hours. It seemed to trigger the old addict in me and I started using it more frequently than I should have.

After about a weeks worth of daily, all day use, I ran out. The next day I noticed some irritability, anxiety, depressed mood, and a generalized flattening of my emotions while interacting with people. My head felt like it was under pressure and I had a hard time thinking clearly. It was rather uncomfortable and I realize that it might be due to the Kanna but ultimately it went away after two or three days and I felt relatively normal again.

Well, I should have just stopped there. But my old ways re-activated and I tried to give it another shot. To make a long story short, I have been using this same liquid extract for almost 8 months now every single day. I re-dose about every 2 hours. I am very functional while on it, I notice no impairment and have not heard any comments that I do not seem sober. But when I run out, the withdrawals are debilitating. Severe anxiety, severe depression, restless legs, yawning, stretching, head pressure, slowed mentation. I have zero motivation to do the simplest things like get out of bed or eat. It reminds me of opiate withdrawal but with worse anxiety and depression and less GI symptoms and less pain.

I have tried several times to quit but I keep failing. I am not in a position where I can take time off of work. No one in my life knows about this struggle. The costs have made me due wildly stupid things to get money. I am so, so, so ashamed.

Now, it is possible that what I am taking is some other substance being sold as kanna, but I have taken drug tests while on it so it was not one of the testable ones.

I have attempted to taper but it has been difficult. The last time I ran out from a shipment delay, I took large doses of 7-OH and pseudo and these allowed me to be functional, but I do not want to trade this addiction for a kratom extract addiction.

My plan now is to try and taper one last time to hopefully get to a manageable level and then use comfort meds to try and stop. I am thinking lyrica for restless legs, adderall or ritalin for the lack of energy, and maybe small doses of klonopin for the anxiety.

If anyone out there has experienced anything similar to this please reach out to me. I am desperate for encouraging words. Even if you are in the same situation as me and are suffering, please reach out to talk.

And please, do not respond with any “i told you so” or “you are stupid for getting yourself into this situation.” I fully realize that this is 100% my fault for falling back into an addiction cycle again.

TL/DR: I am an idiot and got addicted to high dose high potency kanna extract and now I am desperately asking for other peoples’ experiences if there are any.

Thank you all.

Edit: for those saying this is kratom, or kratom mixed in, I recognize that is possible. Any recommendations on how to test for that? Or possibly tianeptine?

6 days until I hit 31 years.

I realized I have been clean and sober, but not in recovery, a lot of that time.

1,000 days sober today. That’s the post.

I'm a few years clean and needed emergency surgery which involved going under sedation and general anaesthetic. It really felt like getting messed up back then. Now I'm post op and having all kinds of dark thoughts that used to sit with me that are really making me uneasy. I don't know how to let this go.

Starting

Hello everyone, I'm new here and I searched something that could motivate me to stay sober...I wanna change my life and the way I'm at right now I'm not proud at all...I'm dealing with hard addition I started when I was 22-23 I'm 26 years old now, I wanna change. I cry every time when I'm finished with my high. I feel so much guilty and ashamed, sadness I try killing myself few times but it didn't work out, I wanna change I hate how I'm acting like..I hate what I'm doing. I feel ashamed, I want to better my self and become a person that looks back and cry of happiness and joy of making it so far of being sober and a change person. So I want to start today 11/28/2024 at 2:37am EST...I decided to change myself/ save myself

I suppose u can consider it as motivation every time I take a look at it! It’s real silver too, I love it! 🥰💍