My doc is alcohol first cocaine second. I have ADHD and my family has a history of alcoholism. So obviously I had a lot of questions about alcohol growing up, and understandably I was met with little to nothing. I eventually got so curious I tried vodka for the first time in my life I felt like super man and like I could do anything I wanted. I had so much confidence. But I was also stumbling all over making a fool of myself. Then a few years later I tried cocaine while drunk, felt nothing. Next day did it by itself and wow I felt like superman and I could do anything I wanted, I had so much confidence. But I wasn't stumbling all over the place. Put them together and you've got hell of a combo for someone who has been told his whole life to stay away from drugs. I knew the risks, I've seen intervention, I've known addicts, I still had to find out for myself. Time is a blur and getting sober for a day or 2 or 3 or a month or 2 I always relapse on one of the 2. I also have been smoking weed for 5 years now before anything else. I can't be happy unless I'm high on something or thinking about getting high. Do I need to seek more than just therapy? Do I need professional help?

I know that this is a very long shot but if by the off chance you do ever read this I loved you since I said eyes on you it's very scary to know that right now I'm stepping off to go find help that in my head I'm only okay with thinking that it'll end up with you eventually someday but in my heart I feel as if the longing for you that I've always felt since you've left just won't stop and keeps getting longer I truly do pray to God that I can change anything that I truly brought into our relationship in the past and by the grace of God sends you this message bring us back together I really don't think that you'll ever want to be with me again anyway after all the hurt I put you through but I'm willing to forgive all the skeletons that are in your closet now we're against me to hurt me purely I truly believe the person that you first showed me you were and I fell in love with that woman a million times over I'll never truly ever want nor lust for any other relationship and I know that in my heart that is why I'm the Peace of sad right now cuz I don't want to let go and I'm afraid of letting go I'm afraid of feeling like I don't love you anymore I'm afraid of feeling like for some reason someone was able to bring me to not care about you anymore and it doesn't make any sense to me how I can possibly live without you and truly feel like we are in love even if you love me and you're staying at a distance I truly do feel like our souls are for each other just not in a lifetime that we tried I'm seriously hoping that for whatever reason God truly does have a plan and we really will be together again I read a post that said maybe if you were thinking of me but you will never write to me well this is it made me think about you I love you Sabrina and I'll always Love you along with the three people that you brought to me I'll always care about you 3717 for life

A friend of mine recently got clean in Indianapolis and is having a hard time finding a meeting he connects to. I talk about the meetings that I go to and all that I get from them and he says that he just can’t find a meeting he connects with. He said the meeting he’s been going to they struggle to get people to speak and there’s no “Yoda knowledge,” so to speak. If anyone has some good meeting suggestions in the area it would be greatly appreciated.

hi, I’m currently in recovery for an eating disorder. I also self harm but I don’t really know whether I’m in recovery for it, I still sh but know that I probably need to stop. I don’t really have any friends that also struggle with their mental health in the same way that I can talk to. It makes me feel really lonely sometimes

theres this girl who I’ve seen around a couple of times and we have mutual friends. on her TikTok she quite frequently posts about her mh and sh etc. do you think it would be okay for me to message her? I feel so lonely but I also know she’s not fully recovered, so don’t want to add a burden to her. I just feel really alone in this and when I relapse and regress in recovery I would really appreciate being able to talk to someone who actually understands

I have a year completely clean from alcohol and other interjectivly hard substances !! I am super bummed because my roommate kicked me out because she is embarrassed by my social anxiety and slight autism. I don't quite fit in with her or her friends.. on top of this I had paid rent for a full month and she still kicked me out !!! I'm super sad in a motel room alone, and I am VERY BROKE. this is where I'm going to be a beggar, also I could really use a nice cigar by drew estates :'(. Let my job, and place all in the same week. I have a huge craving for a lot of real food food. Maybe Chinese? Maybe pizza? Please if you can help me with something amazing to eat, order it to my door directly to me(message me for my motel room address) or cash app me and I can order my own food, IDC.. but either way I would greatly appreciate you. Here is my cashap: $joeweber1988 (A) (E) Joe. I dunno I'm. 36 year old crustie trying to make it in this world newly sober and it fucking sucks because I am a targeted individual

Hello, I'm 21 (nb) and have been addicted to technology for the past three years. Many times Ive tired to address my problem, and many times I've failed. I think I'm just not taking the right steps. Does anyone have any advice on addressing this issue? Does anyone else have experience recovering from a tech addiction?

Thank you in advance to anyone who is able to answer.

Pointless. Hear me out. If I’m fucking struggling and can barely get through my day, then I take a single Xanax and it’s like I can breathe. I can actually function normally. What’s wrong with that? I see the issue if I’m taking an excess amount but if not? If I’m genially taking a medication for it’s fucking medical purposes how does that make me a fucked person?

My wife found out I’ve been taking it to get through my work days. She wants me to quit my job, quit taking them, be normal, I guess? Not a lot to ask? For me it’s life changing. To me I’m struggling for what? For her? For life? For my family? Why??? For what!!! Someone tell me something, anything. I’m literally between an aid and the love of my life. How did this happen? And will she leave if I refuse to struggle? Will she leave when she sees what I am without them? The useless fucked turd that I am, will just drown her in my shit. She doesn’t know that though. She thinks complete sobriety is somehow going to bring out the best in me, when I already know it will bring out the worst. Someone tell me how you get though life with nothing. Nothing at all. Just fucking cigarettes and coffee, stress and anxiety and depression that clouds every corner of the mind. Who wants that? Who???? Are you out there magical person who is HAPPY AND SOBER??? I would really like to know.

My husband and I quit drinking 2 years together because we truly needed to. I come from an alcoholic family and I worked in the alcohol business for most of my professional life. When we got together, we both were advanced drinkers. We were able to realize that our health, our beautiful relationship and our dreams of becoming parents were at stake and we quit drinking together. It was so beautiful to commit as a team. I just found out he relapsed on a work trip to Vegas six months ago. I snooped through messages with a coworker of his and found out. We are unsuccessfully going through IVF and are both so fragile right now. I am really hurt but the fact that he flippantly spoke of getting drunk to others who know he’s sober really hurt. I confronted him and he admitted it, but my trust is shaken. How do I approach this?

I'm going to treatment in a few days. I'm also leaving behind my three kids and everything I had going for me . Which was a great job and went through a rough separation and idk I guess I'm jus afraid I'm not going to make it or I'm jus like gunna be sad on the other end of this and hopefully I guess I can work on everything I need to at this place but idk. I got three kids and I been in a life of trauma some self induced just didn't know why exactly So yeah idk. I guess do people come back from very ends of the bottom for real or they jus stay trapped in there souls eternally wishing they had somehow did different cause I've lost a family in my eyes to my actions and the MOMC mother of children.. she left for a guy before when I found out I went off the rails and I guess I never could get her back she slowly jus like departed her feelings and eventually the kids and her. Now I'm here picking up what's supposed to be pieces but I jus feel like it's all memories I'll never see again and I'm hopeless to truly see the good outcome of this story. Jus lonely one is all I see that I guess is there for his kids. The only real hoorah I can give but on half the time. Seemingly life is endless on fucking me so I'd like to jus know

Ok, I had an x-ray and an MRI done on my shoulder and was told by a specialist that there is a slap tear for the labrum. I go to surgery and it turns out that there was no tear, He ended up scarping some inflammation out, and that was that. I guess MRI’s are only 80% right? Soo it’s unfortunate that I had to go through the process and not get anything fixed. It’s been about 2 1/2 months since surgery, been going to physical therapy and I believe that it is an impingement. My main question is, do you think it’s normal that I still have pretty bad pain and tenderness from surgery. The healing process is very slow.

Hi All,

What are some questions that will help me, a recovering narcissist, put together a more healthy, secure self? I've added a deeper background if needed, but my status is simple: I'm no longer a narcissist but I'm also not sure what I am.

[background] (M,28) grew up fearing his parents. Because he was constantly punished and criticized and undermined the house was the most threatening place. He disassociated. To fit in at school he acted happy, and in high school developed a grandiose self based on talents and low-effort due to privilege and looks. That has been the standard operating procedure until I got laid off in August 2022. I always knew something was off but there was no need, really, to change, but I was 100% the problem in my first job out of college.

Since August 2022 I have been in DIY therapy. I know now I should've gotten help, but I couldn't be needy because a therapist is superior, and also compound the internalized masculinity. I had to move in with my parents because I couldn't hold a barista or salesman job while my mind is a smoothie. I stopped talking to people too. I am broke so a therapist is out of the question now. Total shitshow, BUT I'm feeling great because I'm here -- where "I" is is imperfect, can ask questions, and wants to work and connect with people. I just need a little more help to get across the finish line.

Anything will help. Thanks!

Heya, Ive been on this subreddit before, but Ive kinda restarted my recovery journey. I'm realizing more and more this time around that connection is one of the most important things,

I wanted to say if anyone wants to chat, needs support, a friend, should to cry on, etc. that you can feel free to message me!

I hope y'all are having a wonderful day ❤️

I had a shoulder surgery 4 days ago, drilling in my bone to fix a torn biceps. The doctors gave me a lot of meds, general anaesthesia, fentanyl, oxy several times, and whatever they were giving me intravenously. Now I’m home, and I’m feeling horrible.

The shoulder itself doesn’t hurt, but I do need 6 weeks of physio, can’t drive, can’t work on a computer. The doc has issued a medical note to put me on a 100% sick leave for 6 weeks. That in itself sucks because I like my job, I’m leading important projects, and frankly as the shoulder doesn’t hurt, I hope I can return to work in some capacity in a week or so - working from home, typing with my left hand (doing it now, though on my phone).

But that’s not everything. No one had told me and I was stupid enough not to research it that general anaesthesia and all these opioids were going to completely mess up my digestive system. It’s day 4 today and I finally was able to get rid of horrible constipation thanks to laxatives. That took away the nausea and cramps but I found out that my senses of taste and smell are totally messed up. Food tastes weird and even though my taste buds sort of recognise the familiar tastes, it still tastes weird, bad. Smell is awful, like using my favourite shower gels in the morning - I couldn’t bring myself to open the bottles. And I feel tired and sleepy, but after I sleep, I don’t feel any better. And I feel guilty that I’m just wasting time, sitting at home watching tv and not working or doing at least something meaningful. I feel horrible.

My partner is trying to support me but it’s no fun to be around me right now, I can imagine that. Sorry for an incoherent post, I’ve never felt this way and I just hope that it’ll get better… I so didn’t expect these side effects after this stupid surgery…

I had a shoulder surgery 4 days ago, drilling in my bone to fix a torn biceps. The doctors gave me a lot of meds, general anaesthesia, fentanyl, oxy several times, and whatever they were giving me intravenously. Now I’m home, and I’m feeling horrible.

The shoulder itself doesn’t hurt, but I do need 6 weeks of physio, can’t drive, can’t work on a computer. The doc has issued a medical note to put me on a 100% sick leave for 6 weeks. That in itself sucks because I like my job, I’m leading important projects, and frankly as the shoulder doesn’t hurt, I hope I can return to work in some capacity in a week or so - working from home, typing with my left hand (doing it now, though on my phone).

But that’s not everything. No one had told me and I was stupid enough not to research it that general anaesthesia and all these opioids were going to completely mess up my digestive system. It’s day 4 today and I finally was able to get rid of horrible constipation thanks to laxatives. That took away the nausea and cramps but I found out that my senses of taste and smell are totally messed up. Food tastes weird and even though my taste buds sort of recognise the familiar tastes, it still tastes weird, bad. Smell is awful, like using my favourite shower gels in the morning - I couldn’t bring myself to open the bottles. And I feel tired and sleepy, but after I sleep, I don’t feel any better. And I feel guilty that I’m just wasting time, sitting at home watching tv and not working or doing at least something meaningful. I feel horrible.

My partner is trying to support me but it’s no fun to be around me right now, I can imagine that. Sorry for an incoherent post, I’ve never felt this way and I just hope that it’ll get better… I so didn’t expect these side effects after this stupid surgery…

I did drugs for half of my life. I have almost a year clean and I have recently started listening to a lot of music I had to take a break from because of the lyrical content. Even if the content isnt about drugs or addiction or the "lifestyle" though, if I was high and listening to music, then chances are theres some way my brain can associate it with using. So drop them recovery tracks or really just anything with a positive messege. I like just about all kinds of music so genre doesnt matter.

My aunt at our holiday drank /smoked which she usually never smokes. I have a feeling she drank on way here but not sure . She has done that before. She fainted and it was very scary and low key still upset. Considering she almost 60 and my dad died suddenly 7 years ago. I just need some space but she keeps texting me bc we talk weekly. I mean I didn't even give her hug goodbye.f20s it kind of interesting bc my Also drinks n drive

Hey guys, I have recurring depressive episodes and am trying to recover from trauma, SH addiction and other things. I'm currently at a point where I have really minimal energy, but I know that adding routine to my day will help in the long run. Does anyone have advice on building simple self-care routines when you're struggling? Hope everyone is doing well :)

I'll preface this by saying I've been in recovery from alcohol, crack, and cocaine since January so I'm at over three months now. Today is day 95 and I'm reaching the triple digits -- an actual first for me.

I know firsthand that the idea of never again touching your vice seems so daunting... After all, if you're anything like me, it became your life. It's terrifying, but what finally began to work was to stop thinking about "forever" and take my sobriety one day at a time while making the major changes needed for recovery.

The biggest shock was when I changed careers and left bartending, then immediately started cutting out people from my past. It was very difficult and felt isolating, but I got used to it. I found new hobbies, I found new circles, and I found a better life in sobriety than I had in addiction.

Day by day, continuously making the right choice began to add up. It was little benefits at first, then slowly became bigger and bigger. My life now is vastly different than the life I had prior to recovery, and it's been only 94 days. However, it's not the massive daily challenge that it used to be. I'm used to and comfortable with the idea of getting through the day without that drink or hit, but just a single day used to be a milestone.

Short backstory, worked out enough in my life that I understand the fundamentals and how not to fuck your shit up when lifting. Anyway, I had to take a break for a few years for health Reasons.

Just started trying to get back into it with lower half first. Got a good work out in, since it's been so long I couldn't walk properly and such. I forget which but either later that day or the day after I asked my fiancee to use the massage gun on my glutes. No matter the reason she decided to dig the gun into the top half of my glutes right where my tailbone ends. At which point I screamed with anger and pain.

It's been a few days now and after trying to talk with this horrible healthcare system I have in my area, I'm at a loss. Idk what type of injury this could be therefore I have no clue how to treat it.

I have injuries from weight lifting but this...holy fuck. I can't sit for longer than a few minutes at which point I have to stand which hurts WAY worse. Forget about walking for longer than a few minutes. All I can do is lay on either side and wallow in pain.

The soreness from working out has all subsided within a day or so but this is still lingering and still just as stiff and "knotted", for lack of a proper diagnosis, as it was the day after she did this to me.

I've tried ice and NSAID's which provides temporary relief, it's also hard to elevate due to the positioning, but it really doesn't feel like it's getting any better any day I wake up.

TL;DR : Butt has a "hard" spot in it near the tailbone after gf used massage gun on it, violently. Just wanna know where to go to get help (other than doctors) or if this sounds similar to anything that anyone knows about.

Thanks lovelies :)

I got diagnosed adhd when I was 6, I took adderall 20mg throughout my whole adolescence, by the time I was 12 I was dosing myself. I became addicted to it's weight loss benefits. I struggled with adderall addiction till I was 18. Covid hit when I was 18 and I switched to amphetamines, the illegal kind. I smoked them and lost so much weight for 1 year. I hit rock bottom being homeless and pregnant. I had a miscarriage. I am about to be 22 now. I actually quit amphetamines around my 19th birthday. Since then I have relapsed a few times, the worse stint being using daily for 1 month right before my 21st birthday. I have genuinely been sober since April of 2023, only relapsing one time and barely getting high in July of 2023 after a breakup. I am struggling so bad. I don't even want to use, I don't want to be high but I can barely survive and cope with life. I am constantly dragging ass so tired and fatigued. I am overweight, 140 at 5'3 and I have no motivation or desire. I only do the things I do out of sheer obligation. I do not genuinely want to do anything. I am only motivated by fear of disappointing my loved ones or regretting being so stagnant on my deathbed. I do not want to do anything physically. I only want to sleep and eat. I struggle so hard to go to work. I quit my job and picked up a weekend gig. I cannot keep living like this. I am so sad and disappointed in myself. I can't seem to even stand for long without getting lightheaded and a tummy ache. I feel sick. Genuinely. It's very sad because I love God so much and I feel like a disappointment. Please help, if anyone knows supplements I can take to help me be motivated to live again and lose this excess weight please help. I have no motivation, willpower, or physical endurance. Much love. I am 22yo female by the way, with no known health conditions.

Things You Should Think About When Considering Medication

 Despite the positive experience I had getting on medication, I don’t immediately push the idea of medication at my clients. If someone has been in therapy with me for six months or longer and they haven’t seen a reduction of their significant depression and/or anxiety I may suggest it but as it was with me, the decision is theirs. I may push harder if someone has severe depression/anxiety.

 If a client decides to go forward I suggest a psychiatrist who I know to be proficient presuming their insurance will cover. If not, I have the client develop a list of three providers that will accept their insurance and I research them. If the client is in recovery, I make sure that they agree to tell their psychiatrist this important information up front. I encourage the client to understand that the overall goal is to find the right medication at the right dose. I counsel patience knowing that many medications may take six to eight weeks to build to therapeutic benefit. Often a medication is ineffective at a starting dose, so a higher one is tried. If there is still no or minimal benefit, then a new medication may be tried. It can be a difficult and lengthy process of trial and error that requires patience and frustration tolerance.

 I encourage clients to take their medication consistently and precisely as directed. Clients with addictions issues need to understand the importance of not free-styling their dose by taking an extra pill because they’re struggling with an anxious day. If the directions are to take the medication at night on a full stomach, then that’s what you do. Nor should clients quit a medication at the first sign of a side effect. Often side effects resolve over time. If they don’t then perhaps a dose should be lowered or the medication has to be abandoned all together.

What Does Success Look Like?

 Success means a significant reduction of symptoms and either no side effects or side effects one can live with.  Any side effect is outweighed by the benefit of the medication. Success means you feel like yourself just less depressed or anxious. Not amped or tranquilized. The reduction of symptoms enables you to better deal with your symptoms effectively.

 You may still have symptoms but they are less likely to negatively affect you because the medication is enabling you to manage. As one insightful friend described it, “my analogy is my anxiety was like really loud music playing all the time. It jacked up my emotions, my anxiety of course, but my anger, and my defensiveness too. Medication has turned the music way down so I can think about what I should do rather than just reacting to things all the time.”

I added, “When the music is really loud it distorts our ability to hear clearly what others are saying to us.” With the music roaring we exist in a constant state of fight or flight. Constructive criticism comes across as mean-spirited, threatening or insulting and we react accordingly. With effective medication we can hear the message as it's intended and take it to heart. Our relationships improve accordingly.

 Pre-Seroquel and Lexapro, my anxiety often overwhelmed me to the point where I often avoided social contact, had sleepless nights and it affected my relationships adversely. I was irritable and then felt guilty for not treating people better. Today that’s rarely the case. With my anxiety consistently at the lower end of the scale, I can easily put my coping skills in play. I am more emotionally stout and just plain happier. If you decide to go on medication, I hope your experience is like mine!

A quick Checklist of Factors to Consider About Going on Medication

1. Remember it's your decision to go medication. You can stop anytime. It's your body and your life.
2. If possible, see a psychiatrist to evaluate you and formulate a prescription. If you can't see a psychiatrist, perhaps your MD is willing to prescribe. Many doctors are proficient in managing mild to moderate depression or anxiety. If you're dealing with BiPolar, severe depression or anxiety or other then you should find a psychiatrist.
3. If you are in recovery from addictions, ALL your providers need to know from the outset that you're recovering. This should include your therapist, PCP, psychiatrist, dentist and providers in the emergency room. This is to prevent you from being prescribed addictive drugs such as benzodiazepine, opiates etc. If you have severe pain it can be carefully managed on an as-needed basis.
4. Take your medication exactly as prescribed. If the medication is to be taken at night on a full stomach, then stick to that routine. Develop a system to take your medication consistently. There are inexpensive pill organizers to help organize you at most pharmacies. Do not skip doses because you feel good or add doses because you don't.
5. Make sure you give the medication a trial equivalent to what the provider says is the time required to build to therapeutic levels. If this information isn't volunteered, ask! If you experience severe side effects stop the medication and call your provider right away. You may experience mild side effects but these may resolve over time. Try to give the medication a chance.
6. Understand that providers may need to titrate your medication to help remit your symptoms so be patient.
7. Continue all self-care routines including maintaining work/life balance, getting sufficient sleep, good nutrition and exercise.

The sad truth is I never expected to live through it. I was supposed to die. I’ve always been a piece of shit and was such a fuck up and coward I couldn’t even kill myself. I have memories that aren’t my own. I’ve been on drugs more than half my life and I can’t find myself anymore. All I remember is the bad I remember there hands on my body. I remember the smells. I remember the ritual.

It’s like when you lay back on the bed and just let them do it. It can’t let go the pain is my only friend she held my hand she made me numb when I needed to be. The memories. The memories haunt me like ghosts. Why I can remember the temperature of there skin. But I can’t remember love. I can’t remember their faces. Just the pain.

So I'm doing a school project about drugs in youth culture and how drugs can impact teenagers mental health . and how drugs are getting more accepted and more teenagers are starting to use drugs on a more regular basis 

 so i am hoping some can help me by answering my survey 

 https://forms.gle/sH72PWG1DxBodgFE6 

I lied about throwing out all my weed and hid a joint. It was a particularly bad day for me, my kids weren't listening, I have no idea how to complete my current class, and when I got on my oldest for not listening I felt like my wife was on his side instead of mine. Fuck the rest of the sob story. I fucked up and got caught before I could light up. Thank God because who knows how far back that would have set my recovery. Who knew pot was addictive? Everyone always told me it wasn't. But what do I do when I get caught? I abandon every bit of my values in owning my mistakes and start saying how this lie is the same as any she's ever made. I'm going to ruin my future, my marriage, and my relationship with my kids because I'm not strong enough when shit gets bad to find a real solution. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for. I just want to stop hurting, and nothing the dr. has ever prescribed works as well as the weed for making the hurt go away. I just want it gone, but I want what I have without it more. I want them both and I don't know how to do that

Yes, I know it's diet, but it's progress and I'm proud of myself for taking this step. I wouldn't even let myself have sugar free sodas because my fear of soda was that bad.