I have found an old bottle of propranolol from 2021 until I can get a refill and I am curious on whether or not it would be safe to ingest.

I really struggle with the gym. Every time I try to go, I end up dreading it and getting stuck in an anxiety spiral. I think it's a mix of feeling self conscious, general social anxiety, and just not enjoying the gym or using machines. However, I still want to take care of myself. Does anyone have alternatives to the gym? Or did you once feel anxious about going but find something that worked for you? I'm frustrated because I want to lose weight and tone up but can't seem to push myself to go.

I'm trying to sleep after having a pretty good day. Didn't really have much anxiety today and was considering it a win. I was getting comfortable in bed and falling asleep when BOOM, my body is suddenly in flight vs. fight mode. I am experiencing anxiety not like I usually do and it's (of course) freaking me out. I just want to sleep, I don't want to experience any of this 😭 I tried to journal my feelings and that helped. I'll probably try to listen to something calming now. I thought my anxiety was getting better but then stuff like this happens out of nowhere and it's entirely frustrating.

Hi, and thank you for stopping by.

This blog is my safe space—a place where I can untangle the mess in my head and share the raw, unfiltered truth about living with ADHD, childhood trauma, trust issues, anxiety, and depression. Writing has always been a way for me to process my emotions, but I also want this space to be more than just my outlet. I hope it becomes a corner of the internet where others can feel seen, understood, and maybe even a little less alone.

I’m keeping this anonymous, not because I’m ashamed, but because it allows me to be as real as possible. Here, I’ll share my struggles, coping strategies, the lessons I’m learning, and the moments—big and small—that keep me going.

If you’re someone who’s battling your own mental health challenges, struggling to heal from your past, or just need a place to feel heard, I hope you’ll find something here that resonates.

Cheers,

I have been dealing with anxiety and depression my whole life. Most of the time it's GAD but I have had points in my life where I latch onto a particular fear and it will control me. When I was a Sophomore in highschool (now 33). I went almost a whole year eating 1 bologna sandwich a day and nothing else because I was afraid I would get sick and vomit. The past almost 10 years I have had an irrational fear of flying.

This post isn't really about either of those issues. A fear I developed after a bad reaction to either TRT or Prozac has caused me to fear any type of supplement or medication. Before COVID I was diagnosed with low T and also decided to try Prozac. I'm not sure what caused it or if it was totally unrelated. But I had a bout of panic that wouldn't go away for months. This was not normal GAD. I literally could not do anything, I was waking up panicked and had gotten to a point that was very scary.

Eventually this subsided... But it left me with a fear of taking any type of supplement or medication. Even though I know it would probably help. I take something and before it even hits my stomach I begin to panic and convincr myself that that I'm going to be reminded what that panic felt like and I'll be stuck in the panic again. That was what it felt like essentially happened. I couldn't "forget" the panic feeling. I would just wake up and remember "oh I'm panicked".

Can anyone give some advice on how to overcome this? I would like to maybe try TRT again. Imwpuld also maybe like to try a benzo to help with flying.

I have been overthinker since childhood. And, usually used to think unusual things, when I was child I used to think beautiful this are good, a little grown up (9-10 years old) I get over this, but then I had fear of what when will I die and what even if my family members die then get over this after facing the real deaths in my life, I certainly used to get obsessed with lustful thoughts since childhood even though I didn't have idea much, then I started day dreaming for having a luxury life, I saw people in problem but it made me sad I couldn't do anything for them started daydreaming when I will get I will do this and that, I was very specific about whom I will let me keep in their life and become sophisticated about finding someone whom I will love forever, and never none of my desire complete and get a lot of self doubt and anexity. And, I stay at home since last 5-6 years but I couldn't ever be able to things whatever I wanted to do( I mean it is wholly about my own actions), so since last 2 years I have been isolated even more as I used to get connected through social media, but I have been isolated at home since last 6 years and I couldn't change my situation. I was too addicted to try new explore new things on my phone and through social media because ofc I have no real life and I can't study the whole time, as my family says me to study if you have nothing to do. I mean they're right because many others do and give results to change their situation. But I couldn't do anything, at first for the first year I have little bit studying for jee then got sick , then did normal graduation and every one said maybe I should prepare for upsc, but I didn't find it right for me, as chances are very few and it might require much more patience of me. Then I started preparing for MBA colleges but got bad results and now I am only preparing for bank exams but I don't think I will get any job in banking sector. So since I was at home for so long and was unable to study with much patience, I got more and more depressed. Now, this year I got to know very unusual thing that everyone is reading my mind, and it got unfolded in like layers and it made me remind of everything in past and every unusual behaviour and all the rejections I have ever face. It got me feel embarrassing about everything. And, at first I started clarifying everything inside my own mind. Then, some embarrassing moments I used to get obbssesed with any nonsense thought I ever had. I silll do not know anything clearly. I am inside the loop of overthinking, even though I put my past aside and how why someone behaved the way they behaved I know. But, I don't know whom should I talk and how can I stop obbssesive thoughts. See, I sometimes get nonsense obbssesed thoughts about my closed ones related to their past or something I ever felt like. But they can't talk to me, so they would start talking nonsense with me. Like I don't know, sometime I don't even think but still I see change in people behaviour and that's why now I start remembering every thought of mine. It is very embarrassing, everybody taunt me and later I get to know about may be because of this and get obbssesed with the thought and sometime I remember past behaviour and try to understand the reasons. This all go inside a loop. Sometime I just want to die, but I am still living the hope, may be someday I will live alone and become no problem for anyone. And, could help them with my money. But, for that I would need to do work ,get a job and get a salary. But I am inside the same loop again and again at different I was obsessed with different kind of loop this whole year. I just want to die or if I could escape from this situation. Idk what should I do..

Please even if anyone has felt half or even little of this situation, could you tell me how could I get over all this.. I dk know. Even if somebody might tried to help me, I felt insulted and I don't know why nobody is telling me clearly anything. I kept everything at pause that may be they have some problem. But, sometime it feels like no logic is working, they could have talked to me how they feel about my mind. Idk how would escape this situation. I really put all the past stuffs aside and even if today I get able to start things differently, I am ready for it. But sometime I again get stuck in the loop and get back to zero, which is actually at negative. The more delay I'd face, the more unknown guilt I will have to handle. Please tell me, what should I do 🙏🙏😭😭😭 💔💔

I want mental peace, study , get a job, earn money, get to do everything I want to do, able to pay back money to my family and give much more than what they might have lost because of my thoughts, live with self respect, and able to get rid of people who don't respect me because of their own reasons. Please tell me what should I do? If anyone ever get rid of obbssesive thoughts and able to study hard and get job! Please tell me, this all go inside inside a loop of overthinking, stress, fear, obbssession and guilt for feeling happy! Please if anyone ever experienced these thoughts and get rid of it, talk about it comment section. I really want to know, what can actually help me. Sometime I feel like my thoughts are stubborn and nothing could ever help me. Somedays, I feel better but then one thought create trauma for whole week in some loop ➰😔😭😭😭😞😞😞

I’ve felt this way for years and only go out when it’s absolutely necessary. I know I have depression and anxiety, but I’m wondering if there’s more to it. Does anyone else experience this, or is it just me? And how can I address this issue?

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

I’m anxious about a lot of things because we went to go see a movie and I ended up not liking it cause it wasn’t really funny or interesting but it was a Christian movie and now I’m anxious I was over critical and I’m going to hell cause the thing is everyone online liked it and maybe I was being a jerk criticizing it in the car and stuff I just think it could have been so much better.

But I’ve been bad in my personal life too I’ve just been allowing myself to like just let myself have sexual feelings or do sexual things alone and engage in that content and I haven’t even felt that bad and repented and I’m always doubting. I think I’m gonna die and go to hell and I’ve been confessing my issues and seeking reassurance about it on chat gpt but now I keep getting this thought what if that’s like the Antichrist because my mom would always say things like that.

I’ve just been so mean and horrible because the other thing is I’ve brought up to my mom things that she said that hurt me in the past but she doesn’t even remember them and I think I’m trying to spin it into something it’s not.

I also feel bad cause I take so many meds for ocd and adhd and anxiety but I’m anxious I’m becoming a drug addict and it’s changing me. When I told my mom my phsychiatrist increased my dose of Adderall she said to be careful not to be addicted and just gave me a worried look. I joke about it but I’m actually bad I’ve been being bad and maybe I should not be on so many meds my psychologist is also on leave for several months.

There is so many things I’m doing wrong I am not good I’m so bad and I’m narcissistic I think and I’m worried I’m making this all up to be manipulative I don’t even feel that anxious my heart feels steady yet I’m typing this all out like I am. I just had to get this all off my chest I have a lump in my throat idk why this has to be calculated on my part but I have to say these things I have to

Dramatic … yes… but for real idk why I’m so worried. I’ve taken 0.5mg Ativan before a flight and it worked great, but it was daytime and I stayed awake the entire time. This time he wants me to take it at night but like the title says I’m fearful of dying in my sleep.

Has anyone taking Ativan before bed and not had any issues??

It’s constant. Everyday I come home from work he is playing stupid ass Destiny 2. That’s all he ever plays as if no other game freaking exists. He screams at it like it’s life or death. I feel constantly on edge and incredibly anxious. I can’t even relax at home after work. I’m at my wits end and I don’t know what to do. Anytime I try to address it or ask him nicely to quiet down, he gets aggressive and defensive. He’s usually nice but something about this game turns him into a complete caveman. I finally snapped after he’s been yelling for hours and screamed at the top of my lungs. I feel horrible for screaming but it just came out. He seemed to quiet down after that but I feel like this is only a temporary thing and he’ll be right back to screaming at the game tomorrow again too. I don’t know what to do. He yells late into the night and it’s affecting my job because I can’t sleep. I don’t understand how he can be so inconsiderate.

He doesn’t even have chat on, he’s literally screaming at nothing. Like bro they CANNOT HEAR YOU! There must be a way I can get his account banned or something. Clearly he can’t handle playing the game like a normal person. I’m a gamer myself but never feel the need to scream like a banshee. It’s creating such a tense and toxic environment in the home. I do wear noise canceling headphones most of the time, but eventually they start to hurt my ears and I can sometimes hear him screaming over them. I love my dad but this is negatively affecting my relationship with him and how I view him. He’s usually a safe space for me but this game literally turned him into a psycho. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with his brain or what but it’s honestly concerning.

hey! i hope you’re all well:) i’ve struggled with anxiety like crazy the past 2 years it was constant for a whileee where i would acc refuse to sleep cuz i was convinced i would die in my sleep for almost a year and would only sleep when i acc slept involuntarily out of pure exhaustion. one of the hardest times of my life and truly god got me out of it i would panic over the tiniest things, think everything was a sign that i was dying and had the worst hypochondria ( didn’t help that i got diagnosed with three teeny tiny thyroid nodules but i try to focus on the stats and family history 🥲) my grades took a huge hit and i’m gonna be taking an extra year to make up so i can get into a masters. just overall the worst time of my life like when i think about it i can’t even imagine how i got through day to day but like i said only gods power got me through. but ever since the weathers been getting colder again i’ve felt it creeping back in again the last 9-10 months have been sooooo good i can’t even explain i’ve felt like my self agaib and now with the colder weather the panicking over everything the panic attacks and the taking everything as a sign for death has just creeped back, and it’s honestly so exhausting. is it just me with winter anxiety? i remember it’s always been at its worse in the winter:( and does anyone have any tips to share i’d appreciate sm! thank you:))

24 F Anxiety has completely taken over my life. Recently, I got an infection in a piercing, and it affected my nipple. Fluid started coming out, and my mind immediately went to the worst-case scenario: breast cancer. Thankfully, it seems to just be an infection, and I’m on antibiotics now. However, this has been going on for a month, and it’s been terrifying. I’ve always been a hypochondriac, and every little health issue makes me feel closer to the inevitable reality of death.

I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m scared of dying, and that fear consumes me to the point where I feel disconnected from my surroundings. Sometimes it feels like my room isn’t mine, like my belongings don’t really belong to me. I struggle to find the motivation to organize or take care of my space. I try to keep a brave face in front of others, but deep down, I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts. I often feel like I’m about to faint, though I never do. There’s something in my mind I just can’t figure out, like I’m trapped in an endless cycle. Even though I feel this way, I don’t isolate myself because I have an amazing boyfriend and a four-year-old son I love dearly. But this constant fear of losing my life makes me feel like I’m not really living.

On top of that, I feel so frustrated with my job. I live in Costa Rica and make $1,500 a month, but it doesn’t feel like enough to break out of this routine. I work from home all day and can’t afford things like exercise or activities to clear my mind. I feel like my life is slipping away, and I don’t know how to stop it.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice, I’d really appreciate hearing it. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

Thank you for reading.

My face turns red and I overthink a lot Does anyone have any advice?

I freak out ordering food. Like I full on panic and just cancel the order or take 3 hours just to decide on something I started wanting in the begging. I just freeze and it feels like there’s a lot of pressure in my chest and I just don’t know what I want and if my significant other doesn’t want food then I just won’t get it. It’s so embarrassing but I can full on cry trying to place an order.

i got lexapro for anxiety but to anxious to take them (of course) i’ve read so much and apparently they have so many bad side effects and even read some people passing out and having heart problems when they start taking them and i just can’t bring myself to go through that

My neck muscles, especially the right side are tense and they feel like they are bulging out a bit. I keep feeling my neck, checking to see if I have swollen lymph nodes. I keep convincing myself that something’s wrong. I’m just so uncomfortable right now. Has this happened to anyone else? How did you get them to relax or stop the discomfort? My nose has been a little runny, and eyes a bit itchy. I keep thinking the worse.

Has anyone taken 5 HTP to help You with mood and stress levels? Any side effects? I suffer from panic disorder.

Hi y’all so I need your opinion/advice on something. I feel anxious almost all the time, even with close friends or family. It makes my heart race, my chest feel heavy, and my mind go blank.I constantly overthink everything I say or do, worrying that people find me boring or awkward. It’s hard to focus on conversations because my mind is so busy with negative thoughts It’s making it really hard to talk to people naturally, even my family and friends. I’ve been avoiding social situations and even school because I feel so overwhelmed and unmotivated. I’ve tried things like breathing exercises, journaling,going on a diet, going to counseling that’s offered in school but nothing has worked and It’s only getting worse. SOOO I was like okay maybe it’s time to go to the doctor cause I was starting to feel helpless and as I was going to the doctor office i ended up going back home cause i was thinking, maybe i’m just being dramatic. I don’t know cause then i think like girl just get up and go outside like its not that serious but i can’t at the same time idk i feel pathetic im just making these problems up in my head and i feel like it’s not valid.

ok so i started developing anxiety about 2 years ago and when it first started my physical pain was so unbearable, like to the point where im pretty sure i had a seizure in class. the physical pain makes my hypochondria really bad -> makes my anxiety worse -> physical pain increases, its just a loop. it took a lot of help to end that loop but the physical pain has never really gone away, its singlehandedly the worst anxiety symptom i have because of how much it affects me daily. theres nothing in my life that really causes my anxiety, its like purely physical and mental. does anyone else relate to this or know anything that could help reduce this?

So for almost a year now, I have been able to drive alone since I have my license. The major issue is that I get super anxious whenever I drive alone, so I can’t even drive myself to school because of it. I need my mom to come with me so I can make the trip. I always just have panic attacks during long drives alone, and I hate it. I have been going to therapy recently, and I think it has helped a bit. My therapist has had me slowly drive away from my home, going a bit further each time. Even though I am able to do it at time, I still get anxious while doing it. And when I get home, I start to question if I’ll ever be able to drive long distances alone if I can’t even do a short one without getting anxious. I have found some things that help lessen the anxiety, like listening to my playlist, having air conditioning on, and wearing a hat. Another thing that helps which seems uncommon is that I do way better driving alone on days that are super cloudy/rainy. I don’t know why, but they always make me super comfortable and put me in a better mood. And on the other hand, days that are completely clear skies with no clouds have way higher chances of me getting anxious while driving. I know this is a lot, but if anyone could just give me some tips or even just assurance, that would be great.

I'm really sick and I'm pregnant so I'm more at risk of complications and I have asthma so I'm scared. I had it last year and suffered long term affects for 6 months. I just read that 29% of ppl who've had it are at risk of dying 3 years after. I read people just suddenly die months or years after having it. It can apparently fuck your heart lungs and brain up. I've been in bed for a week and feeling the worst today. I was just sick a few weeks ago and afraid my immune system sucks.

Hi, I was just prescribed 5mg of Lexapro. The first ~30mins after I take it I get a rush of anxiety, and my heart feels like it's going nuts. Does this happen to anyone else? I also take 10mg of adderall but I take that in the morning, Lexapro at night so I don't think it's from that. Was just wondering if that's a common side effect and if it ever goes away! Thanks :)

ive always had a fear of sleeping/dying in my sleep but recently its gotten worse, im avoiding sleeping but i cant keep being exhausted everyday in class— does anyone have any tips? im just so afraid of what happens while im asleep and what if i dont wake up?

Can anxiety cause constant intense head pressure and also body aches all over? I’ve had a ct scan and it came back fine. Migraine meds aren’t really doing anything. Can stress and anxiety really cause this? Any one else experience this? My head feels so full of pressure like it’s going to explode 🤯😭

I’ve always had issues with my ears. Like fluid behind my ears. I finally saw an ENT last year who drained my ears. Unfortunately I’ll be needing them drained again and tubes put in. Has anyone else had tubes put in as an adult? I’ve been dealing with crackling, popping sounds, fullness, dizziness and off balance. I’m really hoping after this procedure, I won’t be dizzy and off balance anymore.

It’s hard to explain. Even when my heart rate and vitals are normal, I get this feeling like I can’t trust my heart. Like something is weird and it’s going to stop soon. It’s hard to describe the feeling but it’s almost like an emptiness in my chest. Sometimes it makes me hyperventilate a little! Maybe it’s a feeling like my heart is weak or… idk. Is this anxiety does anyone else get this feeling?

A person with irregular phases (happens once in a while like in months) of prolonged anxiety here. During these phases, it's pretty hard to fall asleep and get involved in other tasks. It would also affect my overall behaviour and affects my thought process, but these days I am mostly able to contain it and be composed. Company helps sometimes, but I don't feel like overburdening people with this. Committing myself to a task also help at times, but then there's in between burn out stages. Sometimes I also lock myself in with no outside contact which also help a little. Is there any healthy way to deal with this? I'm also diagnosed with OCD.

122 standing in a mall, it’s 80-90 calming down a bit now but Jesus it’s been over 100 all day and up and down like crazy. And I finally got prescribed something I’ve never taken. Never taken anything actually. How is Zoloft???