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So hi, i have had this problem for a while now. I feel like my partner of 5 years dosen't want to have sex with me.

He never makes a move to get me in the mood, so i always have to ask him directly to get any action on and it really starts to get under my skin because i don't feel wanted enough and it just really brings my attraction to him down. He can go without sex for months without any complains but i feel like i need something for atleast once in two weeks or i'll start to go crazy. We have talked about this problem and he told me that yes he finds me very attractive and wants to have sex with me but dosen't find the right time for it. I have told him that anything goes for me but still after a month he has not made a move. Now i'm just starting to question our whole relationship because i need to ask him always to do basic home stuff or watch a movie with me etc. He hugs me and kisses me and compliments me but i feel like that isin't enough anymore and i'm starting to lose intrest in him really fast because i feel like my needs are pushed to The side because of gaiming. What should i do to possibly to fix this issue or do i need to leave?

TL;DR My boyfriend isin't having enough sex with me, i need to always make a move so anything happends wich has led me to feel unwated and less attracted to him. Also this whole thing has made me quieston our relationship.

So going to try and keep this short (F35), (M37), we found each other 15 years ago on Facebook through a group for horse lovers. We were talking and then we decided to start talking to each other privately and I'm not kidding when I say we were up all night every night I mean it, we would be up will 3-4 sometimes 5am, which wasn't the smartest thing considering he was in The Army, but we just had this amazing, intense connection. After DMing on facebook we decided to move to regular Instant Messaging and then that evolved into Skyping each other. I felt so safe with him, felt so loved, I was able to be myself with him. I had never been so happy in my life, even though he was stationed in Fort Campbell, KY with The 101st Airborne division just talking to him I was able to smile, was smiling for no reason, even my friends would say there's something about him that even make your eyes shine. Well our relationship has never been easy, for 15 years we have on and off again because of the distance, me being in NY and him being in various states for work. But we can honestly not hear from each other for years, find each other again and talk and it's like we haven't missed a step, that chemistry is real, our feelings for each other haven't died. And we just found each other again a few months ago this time on Linkedin and the things he said to me so intimate, he even asked if my baby whose 1.5 years old is his, last time we saw each other was 4 years ago, but he said it didn't feel that way to him. He said for the last 2 years I'm all he's been thinking about, asked me to come to MN to live with him, I felt like I was 20 years ago, falling for him the first time. But once again life said no, you can't be together it's killing me because of things he said, he wouldn't have said them if he didn't mean them, especially living together and having a family together, how much he wants me and I'm all he's been thinking about for 2 years. One of the last things he said to me was "I'm a protector of small things like mushrooms and you", mentioned mushrooms but I was making Chicken Marsala for dinner and I don't like mushrooms and he kept pestering me as to why I don't like mushrooms. But that's the other thing I love about him is his humor, and he has such a good heart, he's so loving, romantic and I can just get just lost in his blue eyes, his smile and voice always make me smile. Our love for horses, country life/music, animals and most of all each other is something that is unmeasurable. The last few weeks the feeling of missing him and just needing to be with him is overwhelming, such vivid dreams of him, I feel his presence and I swear to God I wake up in the morning and I see him in bed. I haven't heard from him since August. I love him so much and I know that even with what has happened, I know he loves me. And I just break down and cry.

This sounds stupid and I'm not into superstitious things or psychics but the other week I spoke to one and it really scared me with things she said. I didn't make a phone call or reach out to her prior but things she said he wants you to know "he has been and will always be your cowboy/soldier ." How did she know that? That was my nickname I gave him bc he rides Western and I ride English and we've always had this fun disagreement on which is better and soldier because he was in The Army. She also said he is very confused, he's angry, but he loves you very much, he is 100% crazy about you. And this is another thing she said that scared me "would you leave your husband for him?" My eyes just widened and I looked at her. We just got divorced last year, I don't wear my rings and I had gloves on bc it was cold. I started crying because one thing he said to me was "married or not I want you, I don't care anymore, I want you, I'm tired of waiting", when I told him I was divorced his response was "I want you all for myself." Why didn't she say bf, had did she even know I was with someone? I never mentioned another man. She also said "he doesn't just want you, he wants you and your 2 boys to come to be with him to be a family together." She knew how many children I had and both were boys. Again, never mentioned I had children, they weren't even with me. And one other thing she said to me "you 2 are going to start a business together." I just starred at her like business neither one of us are business minded people but then it hit me, he mentioned having a farm together and he grew up on a horse farm and I asked him like what he had growing up, he said not the level of my parents a smaller one. And she also also said we are 100% soulmates and he even told me that when he first asked me out back in 2009, and we've always told each other this and have believed it because of how many years we can be apart we always find each other. I would honestly do anything to be with him.

TL:DR-Trying to get back to the man I love with all my heart. Me (35F) and my ex (37M), have been on again off again over the course of 15 years, recently found each other again but something has pulled us apart again and we love each other. He's very angry on what has happened in his life and has refused to talk to me since August. I've been so worried about him and I want us to finally be happy together and have the life we've always wanted. I love him.

I must first preface that the fight involved politics and was during the election. Let me be clear: we voted for the same candidate, we have similar beliefs regarding both candidates, neither of us were happy with the results of the election, we have never had a major political disagreement before, we have similar beliefs about politics and many of our political beliefs align, and I will keep the politics discussed vague as to prevent this becoming a political post.if anyone tries turning this into a political post or gives unprompted political opinions, no matter what they are, they will be ignored

It's been over a week so some of the details are foggy, but I will try to summarize to the best of my ability

It started when I was commenting on the election results late at night, and seeing that Trump was likely to win (results were still being counted but it looked very likely he was going to win), my friend became upset. We talked about it, expressed our disappointment at the result, than she made a disparaging remark towards my demographic as they're polled to have trended towards Trump this election

At the time, this felt like a personal attack and I cited a reason I've heard from multiple political videos and studies on why my demographic trended towards Trump, which boiled down to many feeling like the demographics issues have been ignored and that they've been unfairly treated by the opposing side. I dont know how accurate that is or how much it effected the results, but I do believe that many in my demographic feel that way and likely has some influence

This ended with us getting into a pretty big political fight that lasted an hour. The fight was a chaotic, emotional mess, but it basically boiled down to her citing her own demographics issues and me saying my demographic has issues just like every demographic (of course it was more complicated than this, but that was the main crux), and I had said outright that I wasn't saying my demogrpahics issues were above hers or that it should be focused over hers at this time

It ended with me, now thoroughly emotional, pouring my heart and soul with one final reply saying that I have faced issues and struggles within my demographic and that this was important to me

The next morning, she had doubled down and completely spit on my last reply by downplaying my concerns, mocking and belittling me and comparing me unfavorably to the worst of my demographic, basically saying I was the enemy, and that my demographics issues were our own fault

That hurt. I've never been so hurt by a friend before, and decided to not respond and talk with my other friends about it, probably the only smart decision I made during all this

Later in the day, I decided it would be too awkward for my other friends if I stayed in our shared Discord server and I didnt want to risk another confrontation, and left voluntarily for the time being

I haven't talked with my friend since, but have discussed the situation with my other friends who have been very patient. One said outright that they felt it was unfair to me that she made it personal and the other has been talking with me and trying to interpret my friends arguments And point out where I went wrong

And now that I've thought things over, not as emotional, and have talked with my friends about it, I'm making this post to hopefully glean some guidance

It's been eleven days, and neither of us have talked to eachother. I've talked with my friends intermittently about this and it's been weighing heavily on me on top of everything

My friends pushing em to talk to her, but I can't imagine talking to her at this time and I don't know when I can

Where do I go from here?

Tldr: got into a fight with my friend involving politics and it got personal, what do I do now?

21M here,

for context I've never been in a relationship or really bothered to try until now for various reasons, recently started to try through dating apps etc but with no luck. I work a lot so I don't really have time to 'get out there' in the week and none of my friends ever want to go out and do anything when the weekend comes round so I can't meet new people more in a more natural place. I'm genuinely clueless on what to do as It seems I've missed on any and all opportunities I'll ever get and I don't really ever get the chance to meet new people. I'm far from the best looking guy in the world but I'm definitely not ugly. I just have no idea where to go from here as it seems all hope is lost, advice would be appreciated.

TL;DR: I'm going to be single for ever it seems

I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year and the relationship is perfect. I very much like our time with each other and the idea of us spending time with each other . I would say it is the highlight of my week. At the same time, we a r e very remotely talking and have to video call each other to communicate at this time since I took a new role. It is complicated to say the relationship is great at this time due to the fact we aren't together though I very much like the idea of us getting to appreciate our time with each other and the idea of us being together. It is a relationship that will come together soon though at this time there are complications because we are only on video call instead of in person. She says when she finishes her program (I am also in grad school though am remote) she can move to me. It may be she can change to all online classes and move to me sooner than then though it is a slow process.

Any advice to keep us together and the relationship interesting throughout this time is appreciated, thank you.

TL;DR Since accepting a new role I am completely remote. I am finishing my program and my girlfriend is also finishing her program though it is complicated because we can only share our time with each other through video call.

Any advice in terms of keeping the relationship interesting throughout this time is greatly appreciated, thank you.

I (m41) recently learned that my partner (f27) has had sex with almost all of her friends (she has also had sex with 150+ men total, including many group scenarios). I want to look past this and move forward, because I love her very much, and she loves me just as much. We've been together for almost 4 months now, so we're pretty new still, but what we have is more genuine than either of us has felt in the past, and we both confirm that to one another often. She will definitely want me to meet and be friends with these friends of hers down the line. What are your takes?

Tldr, gf has had sex with almost all of her friends+ over 150 people total, and wants me to meet and befriend these friends in the future

Hello, this is my 1st post so sorry if its terribly made. Im in a 7 month old long distance relationship with a girl and weve been growing apart as of late, shes christian and told me that she doesnt want to have alot of intimacy with me, thats respectable. I started dating her at probably the lowest point of my life and now im considerably in a way better state, ive gotten gym buff, my work has started to become alot better, and ive gotten considerably better at my life overall, shes been drowning with work, being really distant and also being really clingy at times and weve been growing apart from eachother, i Downloaded an app called bumble to find irl friends since i moved to a new city and had 0 friends, i met a girl and we kicked it off really well, shes been really flirty with me and wants to stay over aswell and we just had a first date which went astronomically well. But i felt so guilty and messed up and like a bad person so i cried to whole way back home and i dont know what to do now, should i stick with a long distance relationship or should i break up with her? I know im a terrible horrendous human trash for this but i never experienced intimacy with my gf but the girl im talking to right now is really open about stuff like that and im afraid if this keeps going on we wont just stay friends 😭

Sorry for the wonky ass grammar and spelling, youre allowed to berate me for however much you want but please put yourself in my shoes and give me advice accordingly, thank you all

TLDR: Do i stay with LDR, or do i break up with her to be with someone irl?

My husband’s job involves a lot of socializing with his colleagues, and sometimes that means going to KTVs. For those who aren’t familiar, KTVs are karaoke lounges where women will often sit with the men and drink, play games, and chat.

My husband has been honest with me about what happens at these places — he says they just play games and drink, with the ladies nothing inappropriate — but I still feel uncomfortable. We recently moved to East Asia for his job, and sometimes he comes home late, or even drunk, which leaves me feeling really isolated. I’m also taking care of our children on my own, which adds to the loneliness.

Nothing can show he’s faithful but he told me that he is just doing his job and wouldn’t cheat, I can’t help but feel insecure, especially being in a new place where I’m not familiar with the culture. I’m asian, but I don’t look like the "conventionally pretty" women he meets at KTVs, which makes me feel inadequate. On top of that, knowing that many of the women working in this industry are likely exploited makes me feel uncomfortable about him participating in it, even though I know it's part of his work.

TL;DR: My husband goes to KTVs for work, and while he’s honest with me about what happens there, I can’t help but feel uneasy about it. I’m feeling insecure, lonely, and conflicted about his job. Are my feelings valid, or am I overreacting?

Repost: it got removed for violating a rule.

me 19/F and my bf 19/M have been Together for 3 years and he has yet to have sex with me. I have tried numerous times and he won’t budge. we do other things besides sex but he never fully commits. the other day he randomly asked if i would let him fuck me in the ass. i asked if we could just have regular sex first but he seems more interested in doing it in the ass. he has brought it up multiple times since and continues to ask if we can. i’m not sure why he only wants to fuck in the ass i need answers. plz help me.

TLDR - bf won’t have regular sex with me but keeps asking about anal and it’s confusing me

TL;DR How long should I wait before dating again? Is 3 weeks enough after finding out shocking info

Hi! My ex boyfriend (23m) broke up with me (28f) about 3 weeks ago. I've been fine for a while but today I found tickets from an event we went to and I broke down crying. I do not miss him. I do not want him back. I found out some messed up stuff about him 2 days that has really helped me move on. I met this guy who seems super into me and asked me to get coffee with him at this super cute book store after I told him how much I enjoy reading. I was really excited for it but now after the melt down I had over tickets today I'm rethinking it. I do NOT want to hurt someone by going too fast into the dating world. I've been doing all the right things. Focusing on myself, working out, I even signed up for another gym because my boxing gym only does scheduled classes. I guess I'm just kinda stuck and not sure when the right time to push myself out of my comfort zone is or if I'm actually feeling sad.

I have been dating a girl for over a year now and the relationship is great. The two of us really connect with each other and find a relationship where the both of us are into each other and talk all day long. It is really something. The best times are when the two of us are laying in bed and sharing stories with each other, talking about our life, or otherwise making a connection that would be considered bonding. i very much like the idea of us together and the time we spend talking. It is really great. As the relationship has progressed from our initial meet (last halloween) to now the two of us have grown in closeness and learned about each other and our times together. It is honestly a relationship I could see myself being in for a long time, which leads me to my next point. The two of us agreed early on that neither of us wanted to date if it didn't mean marriage, well as the relationship has progressed I have thought about things and personally I know it should be a talked about thing before we get married though I was thinking we are approaching the time where it may be a good idea to ask for her hand in marriage soon. I think we are getting close to being there though I want to be sure things go smoothly.

Any advice is appreciated, thank you.

TL;DR Girlfriend of over a year and I get along beautifully and personally I was thinking of asking for her hand in marriage soon. I am asking for any advice, tips, or ideas in terms of making sure things go positively and greatly for us throughout this process.

Thank you for any advice.

I'm 38 years old, around 175 pounds, and right around six feet tall. I run and lift fairly regularly, and eat relatively healthy.

I feel like maybe I could work on my midsection a little more but I'm still in light athletic shape. I feel like I'm pretty average and plain in the face and maybe look a little young for my age. In the last few years I've really invested time and money in skincare and think it has paid off. I get fairly expensive haircuts every month or two to keep looking nice.

And yet after all of that I am still so insecure about my appearance. I look in the mirror and I just never like what I see. No matter how much I work out, no matter how well I dress, no matter how much time I spend with different hair and skincare products, I still feel like there's just something about me that's "off," and still never good enough. Like I just look a little goofy and a just a little out of the ordinary, as if there's a little something unexplainable that puts me into some weird territory.

Part of what makes me think this is that I don't feel like there's ever any external cues to let me know that all of my work in taking care of myself is paying off.

My wife doesn't pay me that much attention. I never, ever get compliments from anyone on how I dress or how much working out has paid off. When I am by myself in public, women never give me a second glance. There's just so much that tells me that I am just not enough when it comes to this.

I know that a lot of people will say that attractiveness comes from other things as well. How funny a person is, how charasmatic they are, stuff like that. I am feeling fairly confident about that too. I am a little shy and introverted until I get to know someone, but after that I feel fairly sure that I am charming and funny and caring for people.

I just don't get it. I wish there was anything at all to tell me that I had some worth in terms of my appearance. Not having anything to go on makes me doubt myself and even hate myself at times. I know that things like this are supposed to come from within, but I feel like if I am only ever telling myself that and no one outside of my own biases ever tells me anything it's just a delusion on my part.

TLDR - This just makes me feel so awful. Can anyone provide any advice on how to get out of this rut?

My boyfriend is usually an extremely affectionate person and we are always very physically affectionate with each other. We also have a great sex life. However , sometimes when I'm just not in the mood for sex, for example this morning we were cuddling in bed and he asked to have sex. I said I was getting late for work and needed to get up. I noticed he immediately withdrew his affection a few minutes after that and started giving me the cold shoulder. When I asked him if if he was mad at me for something , he said he wasn't and he completely denied being in a bad mood. He continued to ignore me and barely spoke to me. I asked him again after an hour if something was wrong. He asked me not to ask him the same question again and again and said that he wasn't mad. I felt really rejected and confused. He was clearly sulking and trying to punish me , and then gaslighting me when I express hurt feelings about this. What do I do? This is not the first time this has happened...

Tldr: Boyfriend withdraws affection and sulks as a means of punishing me for not being in the mood for sex. I feel hurt and rejected.

My bf (27M) & I (28F) have been together for almost 2 years. When we dated, everything was great but once the relationship began, he changed a bit - he didn't believe in dates, didn't gift me anything.

I communicated how I felt and things started to get better, but still no dates. We have never said "I love you" to each other, but we show it in our actions. We have gone on trips outside of the country, we purchased theme park annual passes together. We spend 4-5 days out of the week together and we've met each others families. We are so intertwined that at this point, I don't know how to handle this next bit.

Once the relationship started, he would always turn his phone down on the table and not let me touch it. Obviously a red flag went off, but I continuously ignored it because I didn't think he could/would cheat on me.

I discovered messages on reddit of him requesting money from randoms three months ago. He gets a kink out of it it seems. No flirty messages, just requests. From what I found, that's the only time it's happened - somewhat of a one and done until this weekend when I saw someone accepted his money.

I don't know what to do. I am in love with him and we talked this weekend about how the married life would be and he's always initiating the conversation, even to the extent of stating how many kids we'll have. He talks like absolutely in love with me and cuddles me, yet he's made these requests?

I'm so torn and knowing for so long is making m v resent him. I don't want to hold this in anymore a. want to talk to him, but I don't know what to do.

TLDR; BF (27M) is requesting money from reddit women to fulfill kink, but no pictures or flirting going on. Wondering if I (28F) should break up with him and if it's considered cheating.

My husband (39M) and I (36F) have been together for 10 years and married for almost 7. We have a 18mo old son together.

We have always been very different people. Early on in our relationship I think I saw our differences as strengths and a good argument for our match. We filled in each other gaps, so to speak. Both from an emotional and practical skill-set standpoint. He is the solid one. I am the compassionate one. He is the organized one. I am the creative one.

Our marriage had a very rocky start. His mother has always had a difficult time letting her three boys become adult men. She's driven away multiple of their partners by crying, pitching fits, and saying they aren't good enough for her. She did the same thing when we started getting serious and expressing intentions to get married. When we did get engaged, things hit the fan. They almost refused to come to our wedding. They did, but left early. Throughout our engagement, my partner talked a lot about how to handle her behavior, but I never pushed him to make a decision. I always believed that it was his choice how to handle the relationship with his parents, but also made my own boundaries clear. Ultimately, he chose to let the relationship with his mother go because she became more verbally abusive and impossible to talk with. (His mother likes to believe that he "shut her out", when really she's the one who disappeared and he just stopped pursuing her.)

This ultimately led to a really rocky start for our marriage. He was, understandably depressed. But, it started coming out towards me. He said things like, "I don't know why we got married. We aren't compatible." Months later, "You've gained some weight (I gained 8-10 lbs). I'm worried about your health and I'm not attracted to you sexually." I started wondering if there were things we overlooked in our relationship because we were so focused on an 'outside threat'.

It was a painful process, but I stood by him. We did counseling with a therapist during our engagement and continued to meet with her at intervals over the first few years of our marriage. He and I both made big strides towards understanding each other and healing wounds.

Any relationship takes work, but we really had to overcome some hurdles. Now that we've been together 10 years, I'm starting to think that we never did clear them fully.

We hit a really good stride around the time we decided to try for a baby. I thought we were working through the tough things and on the up-and-up. He was really present and supportive during the birth and immediate postpartum period.

But now that we've settled back into the norms of everyday, now with our son, we still fight -- all the time. About the same stuff, over and over and over again. He is distant. He doesn't touch me, he doesn't express emotion. He's cold and remote. His argument is always that he does everything he's supposed to do around the house. He does laundry, dishes, is an equal partner with taking care of our son. And he is all of things. I see so many stories on Reddit of women whose husbands don't help carry the load and I am grateful that mine does.

But he won't look at me. Conversation over the dinner table is like pulling teeth. He tells me nothing about his day, what's going on with him. We are straight up running a business together -- there is no tenderness.

When I get upset, I show emotion. I do cry and let it be known that I am frustrated. He always uses this as a a kind of scapegoat and says that it's my problem. That showing emotion means he can disregard the content of what I'm saying. My unhappiness is all on me. It's all in my head and something that I need figure out, because he doesn't know how he can help me. He says that he is perfectly happy. He thinks we have an amazing life. A beautiful, healthy son. A good roof over our heads. Money in the bank. It makes me feel like he doesn't like me, but he's willing to suffer the status quo. He is a very firm believer that divorce is a bad thing (several of his siblings have divorced).

He is a steady guy and I am grateful for that. But, I can't get him to understand what I feel is lacking in our relationship. I've tried expressing to him how truly painful it is that it feels like there is no love in our marriage. That I'm afraid our son will grow up in a home with parents who are consistent, but where there is no love. He just says, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to help you."

I need help with brainstorming how to talk to him about this stuff, because what I am doing isn't working. Those differences I thought were complementary early on in our relationship now make me feel like we ARE incompatible and will never understand each other. That there was too much damage done at the start and we'll never recover from it. I'm at my wits end.

TL;DR My husband (39M) and I (36F) have been together for 10 years and married for almost 7. We have a 18mo old son together. We have always been really different people and I used to think our differences were complementary. Over the years, we've fought about the same stuff, over and over. He is a steady partner and a good father, but our relationship is lacking tenderness and love. He doesn't get what I'm asking for -- he says these problems are on me and he doesn't know how to help. I need help figuring out how to communicate my needs in a way he'll understand.

I've never posted before but I feel like I'm losing my mind, so here goes. My partner (43M) and I (43F) have a deeply loving, fulfilling, exciting, wonderful relationship. We've been together 10 months. We started out long distance, and during the time we were getting together, a few things happened that he never told me about. For instance, he hung out with a female friend a few times - they went to a movie, played pool, etc. Another time he and his ex had dinner.

The thing is, if he had told me, I would not have cared in the slightest about these things. We're both very social and outgoing, and I have several close male friends & friends with a few of my exes (in fact, I had dinner with an ex too - but I told him!) I'm not a jealous person, and I've never had trust issues before. But when I found out these things later, I was flabbergasted that he hadn't told me - even when I'd say "what did you do today?" he would tell me everything but the things I just mentioned - so, a blatant and intentional withholding of information. Since then, he has lied about the dumbest things - like the time he told me he took an Uber home from work, when I found out later he actually got a ride home from a male colleague. Nonsense.

Another time, he told me something where the details just didn't add up & doubled down on the lie, over and over, to my face. I finally called the other person involved and casually asked about the incident, and they confirmed through their response that it had never even occurred. He had actually fabricated the entire thing. My partner came clean after that, and said he had felt so insecure about a situation with me and my ex that he fabricated something to make himself seem - I don't know, more desirable, I guess.

Since that talk, months have passed where I'm pretty sure he's been honest with me about everything. I can see how hard he's trying. I do not question how he feels about me. He has rearranged his work schedule to drive to see me 23 days a month. He is relocating to a lesser paying job to move in with me because I just got tenure. He made an engagement ring from two of his grandmother's rings - literally took a jewelry making workshop - to propose to me. I know he is more in love with me than he has been with anyone else, and he is also afraid that eventually he'll do something that will make me leave him. The ironic thing is, I think the world of him, exactly as he is. But in the back of my mind, always, I think that if anything ever happened that he thinks I'd be upset about or makes him look bad, his first instinct would be to lie about it. I can't get over this, and it's making me feel crazy. I've asked him to go to therapy for this, or for us to try couple's therapy. He sincerely promises to, but he hasn't reached out to anyone about individual therapy yet, and the couple's one he knows hasn't replied. He also keeps saying it has been months that he has done everything right, and that our relationship would be perfect if I didn't keep bringing up the past. But the distrust isn't in the past. It's in my present.

Last example: last week when I was out of town, he went to a small weekly lunch and I asked who came, and he told me everyone except this one woman, a friend of ours who had never come before. Later some other people mentioned that she had been there. When I asked him about it, he swore he thought he did tell me she came. Obviously I wouldn't have cared that she was there (she's married with kids!) but it's exactly the kind of thing he has lied about in the past. And then he gets so defensive.

Am I crazy? I really do not want to leave this person. I don't think he'd ever do anything truly egregious and unforgivable, like be disloyal. But I also want to be with someone who does not historically have this problem of lying, where I have zero trust issues, who is secure enough to know they can tell me anything.

TLDR: Partner has lied in the past about small things, I still don't fully trust him in the present / future.

TLDR: i (25F) and leaving my husband (26M) after 2 weeks of marriage bc he felt forced to marry me.

i (25F) found texts to his (26M) friend saying “she made me marry her. i never wanted to marry her and now i’m stuck” and then his friend telling him that’s how “females” are. never even heard of this friend and he sobbed happy tears on our wedding day. said it was the best day of his life. has posted 3 posts on instagram about the wedding.

i’m numb. i don’t feel like i forced him. i only brought it up once on valentine’s day a few years ago asking him if he even wanted marriage. i don’t feel like there was ever any pressure on him to marry me.

i confronted him. he said he felt like if he didn’t marry me i would leave him. asked him why he felt that way. he said he just knew that’s how women are. i am so disgusted. he’s never said shit like this before. if he had, i wouldn’t have even dated him in the first place. he started working blue collar abt a year ago and has been showing signs of being lowkey red pilled but we always make fun of those dumbasses so thought he was joking. there was no screaming, no fighting. i just didn’t care. he didn’t either.

i don’t really know how to proceed. i don’t think i actually need to get divorced. maybe i can get it nullified since we don’t have any assets? gonna research. anyone in california know?

i packed all of my stuff this morning into my car and i’ll be leaving after i get off of work. driving cross country to my parents. i have to leave all of my furniture but it’s fine.

best friend says i should stop and have more of a conversation before up and leaving. i disagree and think he’s made his desires VERY clear. do i stop and talk to him or just flee? (staying in the marriage is not an option)

Last September my [34f] fiancee [37m] of 10 years (together for 9, engaged for 1) came home and said that he was accepted into school and would be starting the next day, meaning he would have to quit his full time office job in order to attend. My response to this was "I didn't know you applied for school". Ever since then our relationship has been on a decline and I don't know if it's worth staying with him anymore because of the constant lack of communication.

We agreed that he would go back to school as long as he kept paying his half of the rent and majors bills, and that he would get a job after Christmas because I can't support us on what I make alone. Well, he is paying his half of the rent/major bills, but didn't get a job until last month, so most of the day to day expenses and emergency pop ups have fallen on me. Instead he decided to spend his summer playing video games and exercising while I footed most of the expenses and did a majority of the household cleaning while working 40 hours a week.

We talked back in October about this, I told him I needed him to open up and talk to me more, do more around the house, start meeting my emotional needs, etc., but he still isn't talking to me about how he's feeling or about what's going on. He said he went back to school for us, so that we can have a better future, but to me it just feels like another selfish decision. That it just feels like me and him, not us.

There's more, but I'm trying to keep this post as to the point as possible. Is all this a red flag? I don't want to toss a 10 year relationship down the drain if this is just me overreacting. Our day to day is fine, we get along no real fighting, have the same hobbies and he's been good to me over the years about my health issues. Should I wait for him to finish school and hope that once he gets a "real job" things will get better? Or is it better to end it now and find someone who can actually open up and talk to me about major life decisions?

TL:DR fiancee went back to school without talking to me about it first and never talks to me about how he's feeling or any major what's going on in his life.

Hi everyone!

Me (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for about a year. He is wonderful and lovely. Talks about our future, I just moved in, he wants to be around him and his family frequently, he tells me how much he loves me all of the time, we have great sex a few times a week.

I really only have one small issue, and it’s his Snapchat usage. I know it’s how he talks to a lot of his friends, and myself included. But he can be a little bit strange about it… he tilts his phone away and puts in on the table upside down. I brushed this off as him being a little private about his phone, which is fine.

Recently, I’ve noticed he’s been snapchatting someone (a new girl) I don’t recognize. I know his friends’ names, and I have no idea who this girl is. He’s been checking his phone more often, and that started around the same time I noticed this new person. I have a bad feeling.

How do I bring this up to him? Do I wait until I see another Snapchat from her and ask who she is? Do I bring up his shady behavior in general? I don’t know how to navigate this.

It’s also worth mentioning I’ve been in some bad relationships and have been cheated on before. So I don’t know if I’m projecting from my past experiences or if this is something I should bring up.

I appreciate any help!

TL;DR: My (23F) bf (23M) has been snap chatting a new girl and I have a bad feeling. How do I bring it up?

Sorry if the coherence is lacking, I'm having a breakdown typing this.

Me (F 20) and him (M 20) have been together for a year now as fwb and started dating in July this year. He's a pragmatic person and not really an emotional one. Ever since we started hooking up last year, I had this inherent trust on him.

background on his ex: dated for 1 year during his school days ie 202p they broke up, on and off till he met me.

His ex has always had a cameo in our relationship, like last December (when he didn't have feelings on me but I did),she had sent a snap of her and her bf in a mirror pic in a bedroom which took a toll on my bf, making him question his feelings for her, he said he didn't know he loved her and I got fed up of all this and as it was clear he didn't want me then, I moved on started dating someone else.

When sem break was over and I came back, we had this huge fight about me ditching him and he didn't know I was hurt all the time he spoke about his ex. He apologized but I still stayed with my then boyfriend until we went to pune for a competition in April, where we met his ex before that he and his ex had started talking over texts as he was attending a competition in her college and I was fine w it then cuz we weren't dating.

In pune, I realised I loved him(my current bf) and broke off with my boyfriend then (who I later got to know was cheating on me with two chicks since the start of our relationship). So In Pune obv my now bf hung out with her, they went out and one night after spending time with me, he didn't inform me and met her. I was kind of pissed later on cuz he didn't tell me and I got to know from her friend.

Pune was traumatizing cuz of many reasons, one being his ex obv as she literally came to pick him up at the airport and was third wheeling us most of the time, she's a sweet kid but it's his ex after all.

So after pune, after few weeks, I told him I love him and I want to be in a relationship with him and when we came back after summer break to college, we became official. The same day I got to know that he was texting his ex, the same way he texts me like asks her opinion and mine, send photos and vids of his pets. He told he'll stop talking to her and told her we are dating, after that she also stopped texting until October.

She suddenly started sending us snaps and maintaing streak and he send snap randomly so, one day he sent a snap which made her start the convo again it seems, and they started talking ( he didn't tell me) and later when both were in the same city, they went to a mall. Obv I saw her snap in a mall near his house so I asked him jokingly if he wanted to meet her and he just asked what would happen if I met her and the convo ended jokingly cuz I believed he didn't meet her ( he lied and hid it from me) and they had spoken on video call for half hour which I found out later from his call logs.

I got to know this like 5 days ago, when I confronted him he didn't deny and told me the truth, he says it meant nothing and he chumma started talking to her and met her. He says he didn't want me to overthink cuz it wasn't going to happened again and it was just one time thing. He says he's sorry and deleted her number and blocked her on snap.

I am hurt and I really don't know what to do....he knew that his ex being in his life was a problem to me and I can't digest the fact that he still went to her uk and hid it from me. I don't know how to trust him again

I spoke to his ex and she told we just roamed the mall for 30 mins and for the video call she told he was bored and he was studying so they spoke. Me and my boyfriend never speak on video calls and when I got to know he has spoken to her on video calls before (before we started dating), I told him that makes me insecure cuz he never does that with me and now again he has done it while being in a relationship with me.

I just want to heal from this and move on, any advise on how to deal with this situation?

TL;DR: Boyfriend hid the fact that he started talking to his ex and met her in a mall. Trust issues has increased and don't know how to move on, any advise?

I (28F) feel jealous that a girl kissed my boyfriend (27M) and I wished he handled it differently. How can I help him handle uncomfortable situations better?

My boyfriend is a very nice guy. We’ve been dating since the start of the year and one of the things I questioned early on is whether he would be able to assert boundaries with people or if he would feel too uncomfortable saying no to someone. He even admits he’s a big people pleaser and struggles with boundaries. I can also be a people pleaser but I don’t think it is as bad as him. Sometimes he will throw me under the bus in social situations to save his face and leaves me feeling very embarrassed.

This past weekend he went to a wedding that I wasn’t able to go to with him. Apparently there was a girl that kept flirting him with him and at the end of the night this other girl (she is in an open relationship) came over and snuggled on his knee then told him she missed him and kissed him on the cheek. I got a little jealous because I could tell he was drunk and I just know that he is so nice he wouldn’t have done much even if he felt uncomfortable. I asked if he moved or if he got up to find this girls boyfriend and he said no because he felt uncomfortable. I really do trust that he wouldn’t cheat on me. However I still feel really uncomfortable with how he handles these types of situations. It feels like he cares more about the persons feelings or either himself in the moment over mine even if that person is doing something wrong. He admits he should’ve pushed her away but he didn’t know what to do. I feel that problems because of him being a people pleaser keep on building up and I sometimes question if this is something that I should be patient with him on. I love that he is a good person but it does hurt to see his own friends and family treat him like a doormat and it does hurt seeing that he can’t set boundaries with people. I don’t know what to do

TLDR: my (28F) boyfriend (27M) is too nice and struggles with asserting boundaries. A girl snuggled and kissed him and he was too uncomfortable to get up and leave. I’m questioning if this is something I can help him through.

I(27f) am looking for advice on how to deal with my MIL(55f) who I feel is trying to manipulate my husband (28m), though I’m not sure what her ultimate goal is. Some context: My husband’s parents separated when he was little. He isn’t very close to either of them—he’ll ignore texts and calls for days if he’s not in the mood. Since we got married, my MIL started organizing things through me. While it wasn’t always comfortable (I often ended up agreeing to things we didn’t want to do), I appreciated having her around since my family and friends live far away. My husband also has a half-sister (20f). I tried to maintain a friendly relationship with her, but I’ve always felt a sense of superiority from her that I brushed off as teenage behavior. MIL used to say things like I was “like a daughter to her,” which seemingly upset SIL and I never understood why she’d insist on telling those things out loud lol. Things blew up last winter. My SIL’s boyfriend(22M) were behaving strangely while at our place and I confronted him about it. It wasn’t a big deal and my MIL was even agreeing with it. But it led to my SIL jumping in to defend him, and we ended up in a heated exchange. At the end, MIL took SIL’s side. What shocked me most was that MIL called me afterward and yelled at me, completely disregarding the fact that I was heavily pregnant at the time. My husband stood by me and tried to explain our perspective to his mom, but she didn’t listen and instead doubled down on defending SIL. Since then, we’ve distanced ourselves, only attending mandatory events like holidays and birthdays. These gatherings have been tense—SIL refuses to talk to us and makes passive-aggressive comments, while MIL tries to please her at every turn. Nearly a year has passed, but MIL still hasn’t acknowledged what happened (and even tried on several occasions to make my husband or me apologise to SIL). Now she acts like nothing’s wrong when she interacts with me directly (sending me Facebook links, calling me), but she behaves differently when SIL is around. I’ve kept things polite but distant. Recently, I found out that MIL has been complaining to my husband about me. She told him I ignored her messages, which wasn’t true—I showed him the full exchange to prove it. She made it sound like I had disrespected her, which led to my husband questioning me. It felt like she was trying to plant seeds of doubt in his mind about me. I love my husband deeply, and with a new baby, our lives are already hectic. I don’t have the energy to deal with someone seemingly trying to manipulate him into taking her side. I’m not sure what she’s trying to achieve—does she want me to pretend nothing happened? Or for things to go back to how they were before she badmouthed me to anyone who’d listen? What should I do in this situation? How can I handle her behavior without causing more strain on my marriage?

TL;DR: My MIL yelled at me during a conflict with my SIL last year while I was heavily pregnant. Since then, she hasn’t acknowledged her actions but acts like nothing happened when we interact privately, while still trying to please my SIL in public. Recently, she’s been complaining to my husband about me, twisting the truth to make me look disrespectful. I feel like she’s trying to manipulate him into siding with her. How do I handle this without adding strain to my marriage?

Last night we were laying in bed and a girl from +1.5 years ago randomly called my phone. I didn't answer. I called her this morning in front of my girlfriend to prove she means nothing to me, then blocked her, but my gf is suspicious and idk what to do besides reassure her that I love her and only her. I am literally so in love with my girlfriend now and this call has ruined our day. For context, I'm 24 and she is 22.

Also, the day before I needed reassurance because she works at a bar and always has old guys hit on her and try to give her money and I was feeling insecure because she didn't stay with me that night. It is a stupid coincidence and extremely bad timing that I got that call last night.

What can I do to reassure her and help her understand that she is the only one for me?

TL:DR random girl called me last night, gf is suspicious of me being unloyal, need help reassuring her

I (27nb) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (29m) for about 9 months, and we were friends for about a year beforehand give or take. For some needed context, before we got together, I knew it wouldn't really be an easy relationship. Not getting into details for the sake of privacy, but my boyfriend had a very bad upbringing and just life in general until just a couple years ago. This resulted in a lot of mental and physical trauma for him with a lot of lasting effects, including memory problems, chronic pain, and needing to have his arm amputated a year or so before I met him (he does not have a prosthetic in case that's also relevant context). He's been on disability/other government assistance and/or barely employed for years, and until he moved in with me about three months ago he lived in pretty poor housing conditions for years as well.

Before it's brought up, I do not resent him for any of this. None of it is remotely his fault, I could not and would not hold it against him. I don't want an easy relationship, I love my boyfriend. He's a very sweet and caring guy, if very socially awkward, and he loves me just as much as I love him. We treat each other well, and while there are struggles at times due to both his issues and my own, things are pretty good all things considered. The biggest issue we have is him not feeling worthy of a relationship, largely due to what boils down to guilt over being disabled, but this never leads to any sort of fighting or one of us mistreating the other, he's working on it and I always do my best to reassure him if he brings it up. We have no major relationship problems.

But I just don't want to burden him with this. I didn't even realize I was pregnant until about two weeks ago. It was entirely unplanned, neither of us really wants kids, especially not with so much to worry about already. Birth control failed. Before I could figure out how to tell my boyfriend, I had a miscarriage, about a week ago now. I've kind of just been pretending that everything is fine since then. I feel like I should be happy, I didn't want to have a child anyway. If I didn't miscarry and told my boyfriend then the most likely courses of action probably would've been an abortion or adoption depending on how far along I was when we came to a decision on what to do. But it still hurts a lot, I feel like I'm falling apart but I'm still trying to hide it and act fine. I want his support so bad, and I know he'd be happy to give it just like I support him. But I'd hate to give him more to worry about. What do I even do now? How am I supposed to handle this by myself, or even with my boyfriend's support if I tell him? How do I even tell him? I just don't know what to do or how to handle this. I could really use some advice.

TL;DR I had a miscarriage about a week ago, shortly into an unplanned pregnancy. Due to various life circumstances, I don't know how to tell my boyfriend or if I even should. How do I handle this?

I (f17) know my ex (m18) is depressed - do I contact?

I’m going to lay this out in bullet points:

• We were long distance (yeah judge if you want to, I probably would),
• Broke up due to financial and social difficulties,
• We’ve been no contact for about a year,
• Had a really great friendship before we got together romantically.

Here’s the trouble: The anniversary passed two or so weeks ago, and I stupidly had a look at his Reddit page. Yeah, it’s a little bad, I know. But I saw that he was commenting on posts about depression and suicide - using his own experiences to try and console people from taking their own life. And then I saw a comment that he was in therapy for depression secretly because his family doesn’t approve.

Today I had a look on his page and now all his posts are deleted. I’m worried.

I know he struggles with depression and, imo, might even have bipolar disorder (based on my experience with other bipolar people). He’s hurting himself before and in retrospect I know both of our mental health issues combined to form a pretty toxic little depression pit - but now I know that he’s back in a dark place and isolated I want to contact him to make sure he’s…as okay as he can be. He needs someone there for him.

TL;DR - Been no contact with my ex for about a year, but now I’ve found out he’s severely depressed when I shouldn’t have. Should I reach out? If so, what do I say?

Edit: he’s also deleted his Reddit bio that invited to people to chat, and replaced it with our lucky number alone.

Hello everyone, I am (F32) my “partner” M(42). I left almost a year ago for very long relationship were I was never a priority, was very difficult but I left and started over. I was fine single and life felt better I was actually many days feeling happy and energetic (I was for long time depressed). Then I met this man one day, everything good, he is a bit weird but very good person and we have a nice time together, after couple of months we decided no to see other people (I wasn’t anyway) and well, time has past, almost a year. He wants a serious relationship, would like to move together at some point, even try for a kid. He offers me all the things I was missing in my last relationship + he is super understanding and we can talk about everything (but I have some communication problems). In all this time, I have feel just fine with him, never gotten in love, didn’t have butterflies or whatever so I feel I can’t continue with someone that I don’t really love I feel something is missing and o don’t even know what that thing is.

He is hurting, I am hurting and I have no idea what to do. Why I can’t feel things? I am like numb overall in life (I am trying to find a therapist) I feel is wrong to make us try a bit harder (spend even more time together, do more things, have more talks etc) because I feel he is wasting his time but he is very happy with me and he doesn’t care I can’t offer him more than I am already giving because is already a lot for him (but I know I can be nicer and care more etc.

He also said that how I can throw everything away just because “something is missing” because we have many good things.

TL;DR: he is very nice and understanding, I have been always in very long relationships were didn’t have this things, I also focus on trying to know myself more and work in my own problems but I can’t understand what is going on.

Can someone tell me your opinion? Thanks

To make a long story short me and my girlfriend have been going out for 3 years now. When we first got together we didn’t have sex for 3 months. I was very understanding and supportive of this as it was her first time and I wanted her to be comfortable. The first time was great and it lead to us having a pretty decent sex life. We would have sex at least once a week most of the time a few times a week and it was great.

After a couple of years the sex started to dwindle. There would be times where she didn’t really seem into it. I was always supportive and reassuring when she didn’t want to. But then we started to go weeks without having sex. I would initiate, but get turned down. This would happen nearly everyday until I got the hint and layed back a bit so that I wasn’t putting pressure on her. The weeks soo turned into months and sex just looked less and less likely. She never initiated and so I started to ask her about it. I would just ask what was going on. I asked if she was still attracted to me, I asked if there was anything I could do to help and make it easier for her. Most of the time this would end up as an argument with me apologising. And then we would go back to not having sex.

I never had a go at her. I just genuinely believed that this was an issue which she never seemed to want to sort out.

Anyway this went on for a long time. We had a lot of talks and I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this for about a year now. The other day she could see I was upset, asked me why and so I was just honest and told her how unwanted, undesired and insecure I’ve been feeling because of this. This nearly ended the relationship there and then.

But, she finally gave me a reason. She told me that I wasn’t initiating properly and she wanted me to be more confident in doing so. Which I was happy with. I also know that as she was turning me down my confidence was decreasing, which she could obviously see. To be honest I was just happy she gave me a proper reason.

Anyway, I tried that night but was turned down and so I just said to myself I’ll try again tomorrow. Next day comes along and I try again. I pull her closer and try and go in for a kiss, she gives me a small peck and tells me she just wants to relax downstairs. Which is fair enough.

However, now I do just feel confused. I don’t really know what to do. She wants me to be more confident and initiate as well. But it just seems that when I do, I get turned down which every time is just a massive hit to my confidence. It just makes me feel so undesirable and unlovable. She could see I got a bit upset again last night after I was turned down, which upset her. But I don’t really know what she expects.

My question is what do I do now. Do I just initiate again tonight? Even if it means being rejected and feeling terrible. She’s told me she wants me to initiate and be confident. But when I do I end up feeling horrible after. How do I carry on like this without letting it destroy my confidence. I don’t want to break up with the girl because I really do love her. This is the only issue in our relationship, but it is a big one. Has anyone got any tips. How do I initiate sex with my girlfriend confidently if I know the chances of me being rejected are extremely high. I just wanted things to get back to normal now. I’m not even that upset about the sex anymore. I just want it to go back to how it was. How do I keep confident?

TL;Dr: my girlfriend has told me that I am not confident when initiating sex, which is because she usually turns me down. I want to be more confident when I do this for her but how can I be when I know the chances of her rejecting me are very high?

The title. I just started talking with my half sister (same dad) a couple months ago and we get along really well. That’s probably the reason why I’m the only one who know about this, no friends, no parents…

For a little context, she’s a little immature even for her age of 18, like a little girl BUT on paper she’s still 18 so right now I’m worried to the point that it’s making me lose sleep. We have the same dad, after she was born he and her mom split up and dad lived with us my whole childhood, so my sister was left without a dad, which really upset her her whole life.

She told me a month ago that she moved out from her moms because of bad realtionship with his little brother at home, to a friend. I was instantly worried when she said it’s a 65 year old man, but she said I don’t have to worry, he’s not “like that”, just a friend. Of course I was suspicious but I felt that I have no business demanding answers from her after not being in her life for 18 years. (We only met a couple of times when younger)

The truth came out after about a week during a conversation, I told her that I’m suspicious of this friend and she told me that in fact I was right, she just couldn’t go public with the relationship, she knows it’s not going to last. So she knows exactly how f***ed up this situation is.

Since then we met a couple of times, going to the gym together etc. and talking, so I voiced my concerns in about every way possible but she really doesn’t seem to take it serious, and acts really naive. Saying that he’s a good guy, admitting that it’s daddy issues, but “it won’t last long anyway, he’s a good guy” blabla…

Oh that fer had the audacity to question her about our relationship, being JEALOUS saying we’re only half-brothers so it wouldn’t be inct, and I’m probably more important to her bc she came to meet me on a day when they used to spend time together. Keep in mind this day is the first time we met in 10+ years. He said what difference will it make if we meet a couple days later. She came anyway and he was full-on offended for the next day. When she told me next day I lost it, the whole time I rapped about how messed up this is from a grown man pov… that he used the fact that she didn’t make a run for it the first time he layed his eyes on her, and telling her that she definitely don’t know how a grown man (esp. this age) thinks, and what does it tell about him that he tries to manipulate a 18 year old little girl, a child (to me)!!! She could be his granddaughter for gods sake. This mans son is older than me about 15 years! but it’s like she thinks I’m overreacting or I don’t know really, I can’t read her face, I don’t know her like that. All this didn’t make a difference on how she was towards me so I guess it’s obvious to her that my worries come from a place of love and not trying to take control of her lovelife. But she definitely going to keep trying to please that old sick f** and it’s making me nauseous just thinking about it, which is all day everyday right now…

Sorry for the long one, I’m a mess right now tbh… Please help me, what should I do? Should I do anything at all? Or I’m the stupid one and I should just exit her life again if I can’t live with this? Or go to any lengths to try to end this and getting her professional help? Bc obviously it’s not normal for a little girl to feel attraction to a man 50 years older than her, to have s*x with him or to think they will have anything in common… right?! Thank y’all so much..

TL;DR: Long lost immature halfsis moved in with and dates a man 50 years older than her, who is even jealous of me, thinking I will f**k her and manipulating her. Said stepsis obv not right in the head either for even getting in this situation willingly. I’m feeling miserable since I know about it, and I wanna help her OR get the hell out and never look back. Thanks.

Hello,

I'm in a really confusing and painful situation.

My girlfriend (37,f) and I (41,m)had big plans (relationship of 3 years with ups and downs), but now she's moved away and it feels like she's left me behind.

I'm turning to you for advice. My girlfriend and I are facing a difficult situation. She got a job offer in a different city and wanted me to move there with her.

However, she's now moved there alone with her kids and is distancing herself, saying she's worried about my happiness moving with her.

Whenever I try to talk to her about it, she shuts down and withdraws for a few days.

I've found a job in the new city, but I can't make any decisions until I understand what's happening with our relationship.

How can i manage it that we can talk about the topic without her shutting down? What can her problems be?

tldr : Gf doesn’t want me to move with her after sugestion it on her own. And now blocks me out.

old: ive been dating this girl since 8 months and since a long time ive been feeling like i cant communicate with her about problems at all. a couple days ago she ditched me on a date and said its not possible for her to come cause she has a well known difficult exam coming up and life is way easier cause i have other plans, she'd randomly call me stuff like nerd and say stuff like all i do i study and i have no personality without it. after that argument i tried to communicate in a long para text and she said "cool", and when i confronted her she said she cant communicate and i should leave her. her saying leave me after every argument is constant. and every time communicated earlier i am called "rude" by her and then eventually im guilt ridden and beg for forgiveness. she proposed to me about liking me and she brings that up in every fight that i am a scaredy cat and cant tell what i feel. in fights she says "this is why you dont have any friends" and "you wouldn't change and you'll always be rude" and "no girl can tolerate you", even if it was my fault before recently been treating her so well ik i have been im always available for her, i give her constant validation when her mood's off but efforts aren't coming back to me. when my moods off she gets mad instead. she says stuff like "i hate you" and "you don't love me" i dont mind giving validation but when i want it she acts like she gives me a lot of it which she doesn't. she says stuff like "my friends dont like you" my parents dont like you and yesterday she almost broke up with me saying its getting toxic, i convinced her we could fix it but now im thinking otherwise. im constantly overthinking about her well being she disappears without updating me for hours like im not important to her. and when I'm telling her something that'd be good for her she says i shouldn't give her itna knowledge and i should stop. I'm_ honestly feeling soo suffocated in this relationship and i dont wanna bring this up with her she'll just assume i wanna have another fight which i really dont. recently i had some problems in my life and while venting she'd say stuff like "we only talk about your problems its all about you" even during fights she says "its always about you" when literally not i do care about her a lot and i love her. she has tried breaking up with me when i have had family problems recently. in september she blocked me for 20 days and said she had a family problem its okay she might've had no worries but she didn't even care to apologize not even yesterday after saying such hateful stuff it honestly feels sooo forced. pls guide me.

update: so she did make it up to me and the two days were great we went outt and it was possibly the best day of my lifee but yesterday she randomly started acting dry and said lets break up and blocked me on insta, i texted her and then she says stuff like she wants to take a break until her exam witj which i was completely fine with, i hoped she just communicated it with me instead of just breaking up ans blocking me. not even one day after she ends the break and says its okay now like wtf? and i told her i was still mad about her for before for dismissing my feelings and about yesterday for not communicating and just playing breakup games, i love her but when i did vent she said "cool, bye" and my feelings were dismissed again.

tldr: gf of 8 months dismissing my feelings and playing breakup games and whenever i try to communicate she just calls me rude ot just completely dismisses my feelings