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I (21M) am seeing a 30F, and we get along really well. We've been talking for hours every day, we have lots in common and the conversation is quite engaging. I much prefer talking to her than to most girls my own age. Tomorrow I'm taking her out to get a few drinks.

The thing is, she has no idea I'm 21 because I look way older, already have a pretty good job and live by myself. I'm afraid I'll get attached to her and when she finds out about my age she'll lose interest and dump me. Women of r/relationships, would you mind this age gap in this specific situation? And should I tell her my age beforehand?

TL;DR: 21M and 30F get along really well, but she doesn't know about the age gap, can it work out?

I, 22F am currently struggling with a continuous conflict between my best friend 23F because I don’t like her boyfriend.

To preface, my best friend and I have been friends for years. Known each other since we were kids, but as we got older shifted from that and created our own relationship. We’ve shared so many life experiences together, and really have curated a friendship from shared morals, love, and patience. It really feels like she is someone who understands me and I understand her with family issues, life crises, whatever it may be.

But the one thing that continues to be an issue between us is unfortunately her choice in men. When she was 18, she was with this guy and was blindly in love with him. They had a shared credit card, and he was at her every beck and call. Kissed the ground she walked on, spoiled her, even helped pay for college tuition money. Rented a restaurant out for Valentine’s Day. Loved her family. At the time, her standards were through the roof. Expecting him to do everything and everything for him while not reciprocating it. When they argued, he would just agree to appease her, never got a word in kind of situation. She was emotionally unavailable for him at the end of it all, and well he cheated. At this time, she let go of our friendship. Like she gave her every second to him. It’s a very common theme that she does that as you will see. Despite not talking for God knows how long, I dropped everything to be with her as she pitifully mourned their relationship. I was also young at the time, and I just got my license fairly recently, drove almost 40 to be with her.

Next man, same shit. This time we talk a little more, but her man isn’t open to talking to any of her girlfriends like that because he was cheated on in the past. They got together because they trauma bonded their way into a relationship, and yeah. He was an alright guy. Would drive 8 hours to pick her up, 8 hours to his house, then the trip back. She used to expect educated men, guys with money, and they had to come with a checklist of character traits. Except she was so insanely hyper-dependent on him he ended up feeling like he could never do enough to please her. Decent guy, wasn’t emotionally available though. Also a tough breakup for her.

Then we had our single phase together in the summer! We got so close at the time, I was staying over at her apartment all the time, we connected so much more and spent so much time together because it was the first time we’d ever lived so close to each other. Poor choice in men but who cares, it’s a single phase.

Now, we have the bf I don’t like. He was one of the guys from the summer phase, but turned into a keeper. Long story short, she has grown from her crazy unrealistic expectations from men. She’s grown so much more independently. Genuinely someone I respect so much because she is beautiful, goal oriented, a family girl, and just overall such a good person. But with current man, her standards suddenly are non-fucking existent.

He was emotionally unavailable, didn’t know how to communicate his feelings, would invalidate her, and the craziest part to me is the abortion. She’d always been reckless with the whole condom situation and I mean hey, who doesn’t like it raw. She hates putting things into her body like meds which is why she didn’t go on birth control at the time. But if you’re raw dogging and depending on plan b’s here and there it’s bound to happen. And holy crap it did.

When it happened, I was away at school and she was back at home. It was such a crazy emotional rollercoaster for all players involved because she has always dreamed of being a mother and having a family down the line. This baby meant a lot. Then comes the abortion. I go to planned parenthood with her, and we’re waiting for him to come. He comes, but doesn’t go inside. I go out to retrieve him, and he says he “doesn’t want to go inside because he doesn’t want to be judged”. Dude I’d go to hell if I was lying right now.

I was so fucking star struck, I had no words. I went back inside, stared at a photo of her fetus, cried with her, and man was that traumatizing for the both of us. Past that time, he never gave her that validation she needed. Didn’t understand why the abortion was such a big deal, etc. He was too worried about his own college life IMO but hey who am I to have an opinion.

Throughout the summer and into them becoming something, he claims he couldn’t make it down to where she lived because “his parents tracked the car”. Okay granted it was a rental for a nice car, his parents are wealthy though. I’m like so you’re saying, a man used to pay your tuition and now you’re driving all the time to see this chump who is giving you a sorry ass excuse in our twenties? Help.

So their relationship builds, they get together, she hid it from me for two weeks in fear of my reaction. Rightfully so cause I hated the man. One year into the anniversary of the abortion, he didn’t really do shit to make up for the past. Apparently they now have deep conversations about it and he is regretful. Sure. Apparently he’s grown a lot in the time they’ve been together, but she’s being so patient for a man that in my opinion does not warrant that quality of love from someone as high value as her.

She drives him around often. My bone to pick with that is it feels like she consistently does things for these trash men that she hasn’t done for me in terms of driving efforts, etc. Genuinely she is such a good friend and I’m really not saying she doesn’t show up for me at all and nor am I saying I’m the perfect friend either. But I’ve always been an acts of service person and have catered to her in that way. Her growing up spoiled, her expectations for other people and what felt like what she expected from me as a friend a few years ago rubbed me the wrong way and I stopped trying to hard to drive for her and to her. I have other things to say about that but the focus is the bf. Also, what pissed me off two weeks ago was wanting to go out with the both of them, and he wouldn’t come to pick me up. She claims he was like, "I don’t want you to drive alone or uber alone", but they also wouldn’t come get me so I’m like what the fuck do you want me to do? Appear there? I was having a rough week, and just wanted to release some stress. So yes, eventually I found my way up there. What is difficult is yes, it was out of the way for them to get me. It’s 30 there, but to get me it would’ve been 27 to me and 27 to the bar. I even offered gas money and to get him a drink! But IMO, I would’ve done that for her if she was going alone, and I would’ve made my man go get her too. She claimed he was gonna get me a drink at the bar if anything since its been a bad week for me, but when we got there and I asked him, he said “I’ll get you a drink if you get me one”. Joke or not, I was pissed. Like you stingy little fucker, when have you done anything for me as your girlfriend’s best friend? Mind you they’ve stayed at my college apartment where I’ve housed them before too. And in other bar moments, I’ve also gone out of my way to get him a beer. Can you blame me for hating him.

Regardless, we’re divided over it. The last straw for me is feeling like my boyfriend is kind and generous to her, and an actual friend to her. He drove her to Costco when I was out of the country, they hung out independently from me when I was gone too. I love that for them. I want my man and my friend to be close, and I truly thought she shared that same principle, but now she’s saying that it’s not a red flag if Besties and s.o’s aren’t close and that I can’t force her boyfriend to be vulnerable with me.

I never forced shit. I just said I’m here when he’s ready to be vulnerable because I already have a bone to pick with him, I really don’t feel like there’s anything more I could do on my end for him. I don’t ignore him, but it’s hard to have conversations when I have those thoughts of him at the back of my mind. I don’t know what to do. She is also at her wits end with him and has expressed on numerous occasions she wants to go on a break because he doesn’t provide for her and just other things that she isn’t explicitly saying to me because she is aware of my feelings for him. It also seems like he grew up so privileged it’s hard for him to understand her and what she goes through, but this is just my opinion. I love her so much but we’re always divided over men and I’m tired of her shitty male choices and I just want to protect her. But what I’m realizing is she is her own adult and I don’t need to do all of that and honestly me being over invested and caring too much is ruining us more than anything. Can yall just be honest with me. What can I do in this situation? At this point, I’m just gonna support her but.. Fuck him.

TDLR; I hate my best friends man because he is a stingy emotionally unavailable idiot but she’s in love w him

Also, why is it so hard to post anything on Reddit? I literally tried this twice LOL

I’m going to skip over important history etc, but the short and skinny is, best friends for 2 years, she had a crush when we first met while I was seeing someone, I rejected her, got closer, I became single, fell hard, she was over me, became inseparable, essentially emotionally dating for a year, spent almost everyday together. 4 months ago I distanced like crazy after she got into a short term relationship after turning me down and saying she didn’t see me that way anymore.

I asked for space, finally got over her, and we reconnected last week. Now we’re rapidly slipping into our old ways,( she calls me every day after work, became inseparable in just a week again) and I can see where this will wreck me again, as I can feel where if this continues it’ll just dredge up my old feelings again.

I want to sit her down and talk to her about how we need firm boundaries if we want to stay in each others lives. Past partners have always said we were an issue in our respective dating lives because of our closeness. The thing that stuck out to me was her last bf, and my last gf both said they felt like the two of us were dating, but only had the bf/gf just for sex since we weren’t sleeping together.

I’m not sure what these boundaries need to be but they need to exist or I fear we can’t even be friends. But we have one of those easy connections that makes it so hard to not slip into that. Any advice on how to have this conversation/ set these boundaries?

TLDR: need to set boundaries with reconnected friend, but not sure what they should be, or how to have this conversation before my feelings get dredged up again

Hey Reddit. So I have a friend Malcolm who I met a few years ago through a mutual hobby. Malcolm is a nice dude - he’s very thoughtful and has taught me new ways to appreciate life and I’m very grateful for this. Here’s the problem: Malcolm did not have many friends growing up, and so he can get kind of clingy to the few that he has now. I moved away a year ago to a new city and leading up to it, Malcolm got kind of pushy about hanging out and checking off items on our to-do list. I told him I did not have the bandwidth for it, and he still kind of pushed for it. I could tell he genuinely just wanted us to have a fun time and there was nothing malicious. In addition to this, I realized his personality started to annoy me in small ways.

First, everything with him is a “thing.” Anything he likes immediately defines his entire personality, and he constantly talks about it. If he does anything that conflicts with his personality, it’s suddenly a huge crisis (think “I like bench pressing, but today I enjoyed squatting at the gym. what does this mean???”). Also, he would interrupt me when I was having quiet introvert time with my headphones on (I told him to please stop but he kept going). He also sends me tons of TikToks a day, and I don’t have time to see all of them (nor do they relate to my sense of humor). I can see him trying to act like our mutual friends sometimes (trying to get people to like him by imitating people who are liked) but it annoys me and my friends. We have told him this too, that he can just be himself and it would be enough. He has referred to me as his best friend on several occasions but I don’t want this title :(

Now that I’ve moved, Malcolm has much fewer friends in his new town (he also moved). He often talks about visiting or asks people to visit him. I feel really bad but I don’t want to host him if he comes over and I would much rather just see him for coffee or a dinner because my Malcolm bandwidth is much lower now. I feel like a bad person because he is always excited to talk to me and see me; meanwhile, I’m exhausted and annoyed by any conversation I have with him. I crashed on his couch a few months back when I visited and it was just Too Much Malcolm to handle. I want him to make more friends.

tl;dr: friend got clingy and annoying, I feel like a bad person for thinking this. not sure how to phase out our friendship.

Hi all, long time lurker, first time poster, I’m in a bit of a dilemma here and I 23F don’t know how to address it, my boyfriend 29M whom I’ve been with over a year, lives with and has a pretty codependent relationship with his younger brother 26M who is diagnosed with Asperger’s, lets call him B. My boyfriend is incredibly protective of B so the whole topic can be a fairly volatile one, so much so that he’s ended relationships in the past due to them expressing discomfort with B at times. Needless to say its difficult to address any concerns without him getting defensive and for the most part, I overlook a lot when it comes to issues involving family but this is one thing I’m having a hard time with. B is a very kind guy but he has this tendency to constantly adjust himself. I’m not even sure if he’s aware he’s doing it but he does it almost constantly throughout conversation; you’ll just be talking and suddenly he starts fidgeting with his crotch. He’s a really sweet guy but I can’t help but feel incredibly uncomfortable around him because of this, as someone with sexual trauma. B also has a tendency to pat me on the head like a dog regularly, I don’t know if it’s an affection thing? But physical touch makes me want to crawl out of my skin, especially when I just saw you rubbing your crotch a few minutes prior. I don’t know if this is a neurodivergent stim/normal behaviour. How can I address this with my partner, do I say anything at all? Please help.

TL;DR: boyfriend is very protective & codependent with younger brother, I have concerns that I don’t know how to address, I’d love advice on what to say & how to say it in a way that won’t make my boyfriend defensive

So I know IATAH in this situation but I want to know how to get over being so down and feeling do bad about it. In context I 28F and my 29M boyfriend went on vacation to a inclusive resort. One night after having a ton of alcohol was hanging out with some friends that came with us and my boyfriend was hang out elsewhere with some people he just met. He was with them for a while so I vent to ask why he isn't hanging out with us, he told the new friends he was with that this is the stuff he has to deal with (he claims he didn't say it and it may be true since I was very drunk at this point). Well I got mad and blurted out to one of the ladies next to him that I do all this stuff for him and how l'm great but in return I can't even get a personal favor from him (1 actually said the sexual favor but not posting it here) also no idea why I said that like I said I was super drunk (not excusable)well after I left apparently everyone in the hot tub was making fun of him and he still stayed but overall changed the conversation to making jokes about the situation and him having to take it, Overall 1 feel so bad no matter the situation I should not have told strangers personal issues within our relationship where even our friends know about it. I told him how sorry I was the next day and that I was in the wrong. It's been a couple months and I can tell he isn't entirely over it and he tells me it is what it is and I dont feel like a victim but 1 just feel like such an AH and bad person and I don't know how to get over this or if I should get over this. ls this something 1 should seek therapy for or other things 1 should do?

Tl;dr.

My bf (36m) and I (33f) have been dating for two years now. From the very beginning his mother has never been warm or welcoming to me but his father is extremely kind. Recently her treatment towards me has gotten so much worse. Now when I come around she doesn’t even acknowledge my existence. She doesn’t say hello to me, look at me or speak to me at all. She will acknowledge everyone else in the room but not me. On her birthday I brought her an orchid and a card.. for family events I’ve always brought creative homemade desserts. She’s never even said thankyou and she wouldn’t touch them. Thanksgiving (also my birthday) was very uncomfortable as we had a short visit with them and she spoke not a single word to me but immediately acknowledged their new neighbor and gave him a hug and said happy thanksgiving to him. I’ve had several conversations with my boyfriend about this and his response is always “she just doesnt like anyone I date” or “she’s just weird like that.” There are literally pics of his ex and her hugging and cuddling up to each other so I know that’s not the case. I’m tired of this passive aggressive and hurtful behavior and not only am I mad about it but I’m also disgusted. How do I handle this?

TL;DR Boyfriends mother rudely treats me like I’m a ghost and doesn’t acknowledge my existence after 2 years together.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend (20M, let’s call him H) for two months. He’s my first boyfriend and the first person I’ve been this close to. While H is very much in love with me—he tells me daily and wants to spend all his time with me—I don’t feel the same way. Honestly, I’m not sure if I love him at all.

I feel attached to him, but I think that’s mainly because he’s my first boyfriend and the first person to express this kind of love for me. It feels good to be wanted, but I’ve realized we’re incompatible on so many levels, and it’s making me question why I’m staying in this relationship.

Why I feel incompatible with him:

• We don’t connect emotionally or intellectually. I’d love to talk about topics like philosophy, history, or passions with a partner, but those conversations don’t come naturally with him.
• Some of his behaviors give me the ick:
  • He’s not much taller than me, and hugging him makes me feel like he’s a kid, which I dislike.
  • His humor is very immature—kindergarten-level poop jokes that I can’t stand.
  • He doesn’t brush his teeth before kissing me, which grosses me out.
  • He isn’t very empathetic, and a specific incident with a mutual friend highlighted this for me.
  • I feel like I have to take the lead in everything, and while I don’t mind being proactive, I don’t want to always be in that role.
  • His clothing style and music taste are completely different from mine, and I feel disconnected because of it.

The relationship also moved very quickly—we got together after only a week of knowing each other—and now I feel trapped. I want to date for marriage someday, but I can’t see a future with him. Every time I say “I love you” back to him, it feels like a lie, and it’s been eating me up.

To make things more complicated, we live in the same apartment building, so I worry about how awkward things might get if we break up. I also feel guilty because I’ve met someone online who I might have developed a crush on if I weren’t already in a relationship.

H is a kind person and has said sweet things to me, but I can’t shake the feeling that we’re incompatible. I still feel a bit attached to him because he’s my first, and I’ve never been in a relationship before. However, I know I’m not happy.

TL;DR: I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (20M) for two months. He’s my first boyfriend, and while he loves me, I’ve realized we’re incompatible. We don’t connect emotionally, and some of his behaviors give me the ick. I feel guilty because he’s kind and because he’s my first, but I know I’m not happy. Should I end things, and if so, how do I do it kindly?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for around 6 months now, which seems like a short time but feels so much longer since we are already living together and do basically everything together. We only moved in together so soon because I had a difficult situation with my family and ended up not having a choice but to move in with him and his family temporarily. I enjoy living together however I do miss my own space sometimes and my own room etc. and being able to go somewhere when I felt my attachment style triggered (I am a fearful avoidant also known as disorganised attachment). He however sees this as a stepping stone to us having our own place soon, which I did agree with at first but do have my doubts about. Like if it’s too soon, will I have enough space for myself and if we broke up it would be so painful having to deal with moving out etc.

I have been previously in 2 other relationships and never talked about marriage seriously, kids or moving in together but with him I have talked about all those things and meant it from very early on and it has felt so real in a way I never felt before and he says it’s the same for him. I never felt so in love with someone we have similar morals, mindsets and humour amongst other things. We seem to just really click and I never felt this way for someone he’s incredibly smart, driven, funny, kind, considerate and I am extremely attracted to him in a way I never have been before with anyone else. However, when I’m feeling really in love I don’t seem to have any doubts but that mood doesn’t always last.

Since living together I have picked up on a couple of habits that have really annoyed me. Things like he can be really loud around the house or when talking which can really annoy and frustrate me, he leaves clothes everywhere and I end up usually having to pick them up for him. I seem to get really irritated and annoyed by certain characteristics that he has, like when he seems to enjoy purposely annoying me or his family as a joke but I don’t find it funny at all and just get irritated. Singing really loud around the house etc. When I feel this way I start to doubt the relationship and our compatibility, it’s not a constant issue but it seems like when it comes up I get really upset and scared which makes me go “avoidant” and just shut down. I then lose attraction and feelings for the time being and sometimes can be a bit mean to him during these episodes if he’s trying to be nice. When I’m out of the mood I feel so guilty and awful for him having to deal with it. Im trying my best to communicate certain boundaries I have and not to be so rude with my remarks when he’s being like this but I sometimes struggle. I am so in love with him but I am not sure if this is my attachment style or incompatibility between us. When I communicate this to him it seems to hurt him a bit as it sounds like I just lose feelings and want to break up when it’s not like that I am trying to just communicate a way to avoid exactly that and that makes me feel awful but I’m not sure what else to do.

Lastly, I have a higher sex drive than him and it has caused some issues, he takes a type of medication that can affect his sex drive and performance in bed which he can get nervous about. He usually is okay with sex once every couple of days or just whenever it happens and feels right for him which with both our jobs isn’t most days as we don’t have loads of free time. However for me I do have a high sex drive and would like sex at least once a day during the week, usually more on weekends. I also like him initiating it more than me but it’s usually me in the mood trying to see if he’ll be also in the mood. I will prioritise it and want to make sure we have time to be intimate but it doesn’t always feel like he cares for it the way I do. We have talked about this and he does try to be more mindful of that however sometimes I do struggle to be happy with how much sex we are having as stress and other things can make him not be in the mood but for me it doesn’t affect it at all if anything I crave sex more when I am stressed about other things, I do feel a bit guilty as it feels like it’s such a superficial thing.

Not sure if I’m trying to find flaws maybe because of my attachment style which doesn’t help with this kind of thing or it is incompatibility?

TL;DR I’m very in love with my boyfriend but worry that things like annoying habits and different sex drives can mean incompatibility.

I (17M) don't know if I should ask my girlfriend (18F) if I can go out with or talk to my ex girlfriend (17F), (broke up 4 years ago), one last time before I leave my country for Uni. First and foremost, I cant stress this enough: I do not have feelings for any other woman other than my gf. We have been together for more than 2 and a half years and I have never had second thoughts about being with her. Since I am in my last year of high school, and college applications are a very hot topic nowadays, the reality that I will lose everyone and everything here permanently is settling in (I am graduating in Europe and moving to the states for college). Because of this, I am organizing last hangouts with my friends, big parties to have fun with them, and generally reaching out to longer-distance friends that I might not ever even see again in my life. Coupled with the stress from IB predictions (International Baccalaureate high school program), I am really struggling mentally. I recently stumbled upon some videos and photos of me and my ex and watched a bit. The reason I even wrote this whole message down is because I know I don't feel the same way about her anymore, and I know I won't try to ruin my relationship with my current girlfriend given I go out with her. Since our breakup, we haven't had many conversations, let alone talk irl, so I feel like this is something that I could get off my chest (talk about how much we've grown, how she's going, what she's going to do etc.) Is this a reasonable request from my girlfriend? or should I go about this another way?

TLDR: Moving to the states from europe for my (17M) bachelors degree after living in my home country all my life. Letting go of all friends and family here, fucked up my psychology. In the whole stress of my final year in high school, is it justifiable for me to ask my girlfriend (18F) if I can hang out/go out with my ex (17F)?

I've been texting this guy on and off for a year. We have a past. We dated once but i broke up with him because it just wasn't the right time. Few months later he sent me voicemails and ask how i was doing. He was still thinking about me the whole time. I got mad that he was doing that since i wanted to have nothing to do with him, so a few months later I dated this guy from my school. We lasted almost 5 months (it was days before our 5th month anniversary) but while me and him were dating. The guy that sent me the voicemails messages me and wanted to check up on an old friend. I was chatting with him while my ex boyfriend was there so that way he could see what i was texting him. My ex bf blocked him and that's the last time i heard from him, until a few months later. I dmed him on instagram and apologized for the way my ex acted and he said he forgot about it anyways. Me and him chatted/chatting. We have been chatting since October 4th, 2024, and he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend but i said to wait just because i wasn't ready. We still aren't dating now because me and him are long distance so we planned to meet December 21, 2024, but stuff happened for reasons i will not give due to privacy, but basically every single day it's like there are arguments. There's things he's doing that just piss me for everyday like if i see him online on snapchat while on still on delivered or was active before and was on delivered for a little bit of time. Or snap score going up. It's immature, I know, but even when i try to fix myself it never works. I've been like this for every single one of my relationships and i car find the issues and i always feel like it's my faul causing a break up. He promised to never leave me and even when i threatened to break up or split up he just says i wilf never leave you not those exact words but along the lines of that. He said i make him feel like a bad person and it hurts me because it feels like i can't fix myself. I don't want to be on a break from whatever we have nor do i not want to split. As of today we have been stuck in the argument phase and i don't know what to do. Please, i would love some advice. Thank you.

TL; DR: Me and my situationship have had continuous arguments and he’s saying stuff like i make him feel like the bad guy and I try to talk to him but i don’t know how to fix anything between us. I need advice

I have a question for all of you.

But first, let me tell you something about my situation. I am a guy '22M' and am in a 'happy' relationship with my girlfriend '22F' of 2+ years atm and 22F). I love the person I have a relationship with, but I feel like I am not romantically 'in love' anymore.

Lately (especially after watching some romantic movie/show) I have been yearning for a new romance, a new honeymoon phase. Just to have those butterflies again. I want to be in that phase where you know you like each other, but it hasn't been said yet. Where you desperately want to see the other person, but still can't tell them. I really want to experience the old school romance again. No social media, just IRL. And the strange thing is, I want it with a brunette girl for some odd reason (my gf atm is blonde).

The question is, is this a normal thing to experience ? Has anyone else experienced something similar, and what was your course of action ?

I am fully aware of the fact that you're not always going to be in the honeymoon phase, and that after a while that shit dies. But why am I longing for other women.

I am still in love with the person I have a relationship with, but more on a friendship kind of level. I do still think she's pretty when I see her in some nice clothes and stuff

I hope I can spark some conversation with this post.

TL;DR; I am in a 'happy' relationship with a girl I love, but I am yearning for a new romance. Help

I don't like smoking and I made that clear from the first day we started talking and she told me she doesn't smoke so I though oh perfect. Later on a couple months in I find out that she lied about not smoking and has been smoking and vaping every other day which I ended up forgiving her for lying to me about. now maybe 6-7 months later she is going through a rough patch with college and her parents and has been really stressed. Mind you she hasn't smoked or vaped for the last 6-7 months she this Monday said that she smoked 5 times which made me feel a bit sceptical as I don't think someone that hasn't been smoking for half year can just one they decide to smoke 5 times because they are stressed?? again I don't smoke never have so idk. Furthermore on Wednesday this week she said she smoked again but only about half a cigarette as she kept gagging from it.

- Idk how to feel about it due to her herself coming up with the idea to promise me she isn't going to smoke

- I can't comprehend how someone can not smoke for months but then smoke 5 in a day then 2 days later not even be able to finish one

Idk how to feel or what to do about it as she knew this from the start of our relationship that I'm against it

TL;DR

My gf lied to me that she didn't smoke even though she knew I was totally against it then I forgave her but 6-7 months later she smoked again 5 times in a day but 2 days later couldn't even finish 1... Idk what to feel and how to go about it

I (29F) have dated my fiancé (29M) for over four years, we’ve lived together for three years. Lately (past six months) he has been struggling with feeling “triggered” by everything I do. He explains it as getting stuck in this negative cycle where he can ONLY focus on my flaws and and things he dislikes about me (things I can not control or change) it makes him not want to be around me. I told him he needed to figure this out if we are going to get married and he started therapy theee months ago. Yesterday he revealed that he is still struggling with this. He is cold to me stand offish when he feels this way. He made an appointment to see a psychiatrist and believes it may be depression. It feels like I’m begging him to love me. Does anyone have any expierience with a situation like this and/or can offer advice?

TLDR: my fiancé suddenly can’t stand to be around me. How should I proceed?

Maybe you’ve seen my previous post earlier this week, it’s regarding my girlfriend asking me to call her as soon as I finish my workout at the gym, instead of calling her from the car.

I’ve been feeling a roller coaster of emotions from that morning. Simply because my loyalty has always been a subject of constant doubt and suspicion, and that morning was a breaking point for me. I’ve been feeling angry, hurt, betrayed, lost. As mentioned in my previous post, I’ve done nothing to this woman to make her feel insecure in our relationship, I’ve loved her deeply, been more than accommodating and understanding of her ridiculous requests, I’ve tried to be the perfect man for her in the best way possible. I’m not saying I was perfect, but I was constantly changing and working on things in order for her to be happy and secure. After all of that, it still is not enough for her and her stupid request for calling her at the gym instead of calling her from the car, really broke me. I did tell her it’s not just this incident that’s really broke me, but in the past two weeks, there’s been 3 instances alone, that have made me feel so uncomfortable and uneasy.

We are both south asian, two weeks ago I texted her while she was asleep that I was watching a Bollywood movie, the next morning she called asking me if I can stop watching Bollywood movies without her, simply because some movies have seductive item songs in them(most, if not all Bollywood movies are musicals). In the past, she’s also told me not to watch certain things, and if I do come across anything inappropriate, to let her know and skip past the scene. This includes anime, movies, tv shows, whatever. She even questioned me on a video game I play that has female characters in it (Mortal Kombat).

Another thing we’ve had multiple fights about is my Spotify and YouTube. If the album cover has a female on it, and it looks l inappropriate, you can bet she’s asked me to delete that song. About a week ago, after getting into my car, she casually says she’s noticed I don’t play Spotify anymore when we’re together and asks, have you deleted everything inappropriate? Again, it made me feel so uncomfortable and uneasy, it always catches me off guard too because the questions come out of nowhere, and it completely throws off any good energy or emotion I’ll be feeling. I’m so restricted from watching any music videos on YouTube because according to her they are all hyper sexualized and it makes her uncomfortable knowing I watch music videos due to that reason

I know some or all of you may think I deserve this, I’m the one that agreed to all her stupid requests and rules. I just had this hope that one day she would come around, one day she can trust me, one day she would overcome these ridiculous insecurities and feel safe, knowing her man wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. We’ve had discussions about this before, and she’s tried to assure me that it will get better with time, the longer we’re together, the more she will learn to trust me. I believed her. I lost so much of who I was as a person because of this relationship.

When I confronted her, it was a lot of dismissing things, speaking to me in a very condescending tone, calling out my mistakes, playing the blame game, and as I had told her that moving forward, there will be no controlling me and no more accommodating her insecurities, all she had to say was, then we have nothing left to talk about. There was no real conversation to be had, she didn’t even try to see or understand where I was coming from, how anxious I feel with her everywhere, whether it be in a mall, a restaurant, in my car, I’ve literally caught her looking at me and then looking at what I’m looking at. The part that hurt the most was literally watching her not try to understand or even think about where I’m coming from, or feeling any sort of emotion for what she has put me through.

Anyways, haven’t heard from her since. She has a history of blocking me when she’s really upset. I assume I’ll be getting some sort of break up message from her sometime soon. Again, just feeling a world of emotions, but I am ready for whatever comes next. Have you guys ever heard of or dealt with this kind of nonsense before?

TL:DR confronted my girlfriend about all rules she’s laid down for me over the past year and told her no more, she did not respond to it well and I am pretty sure we’ll be breaking up soon. Have any of you had to deal with this level of craziness before? Is it more common than I think?

My partner (29F) and I (26F) have been together around 2 years. I’ve always been very private and I’ve always had the outlook that if we argue, it stays between us. At the start of the relationship she told one of her friends about an argument we had. I asked her if she has told anyone, she lied saying she didn’t. However, I got proof that she did and then she still tried to lie but then confessed. Anyway we moved on. She now says that she’s too old to be going to her friends and telling them negative stuff. I always believe that I can forgive my partner, but my friends and family can’t.

ADVICE: I’ve been really struggling with my mental health recently. I’ve been off work and have seriously dark thoughts. I’m getting help. She mentioned to me that she’s finding this hard and that her world revolves around me. I said I don’t bring up my emotions with you because I don’t want to burden you, the only difference is that we may not go out as often.

We had an argument and she then left the house. She’s now told me her friend called her and made causal conversation and asked is she ok. My partner then started crying. Her friend asked her if it’s getting too much supporting me and has she spoke about it with myself. My partner replied that she had, but that I don’t understand.

I find this trust has now broken and she doesn’t understand why I would be upset about this. I’m already struggling as it is and this is just an added stress. I feel like now her friends will think bad about me and that makes me uncomfortable. I try my hardest to not be a burden to anyone but I find it uncomfortable she’s now told her friend about this.

Can you tell me your opinions?

TL;DR: Partner telling friend about an argument we had. How do you feel about this?

I (m19) recently got a haircut and my aunt (f47) said "if I was 30 years younger l'd date you" with a smile on her face and giggling too, her sister (f37) told her off for it and said that was too far. My aunt also likes to hug me for long periods of time and it's multiple hugs at once. (I do like hugs but they are long from her lol) One time she said "my wee (op)" and hugged me for a solid minute. She is also married and a time when she was hugging me for a while, as soon as her husband walked in she immediately let go and turned her back on me and acted like nothing happened only saying "he likes hugs" with her voice going a bit quiet.

There is a chair in her house called "the cuddle chair" and I sat on it beside her without realising its name and she said "awww you're on the cuddle chair with your auntie" while biting her lip a bit. I jokingly took her hand and held it but she didn't let go, she held onto my hand for 5 minutes before letting go to scroll on her phone and show me a video of a penguin.

Anytime I'm at her house she asks me to stay longer for dinner that she prepares and asks me lots of times to stay too, I usually don't stay there to eat but anytime l do she seems a lot happier and more excited when I am there.

For my 19th birthday she sent me a winky emoji- 😉 and sent me a decent amount of money.

Maybe I'm just overthinking it but I don't know if she is or not. What do you guys think?

TLDR: I think my aunt is flirting with me with some hints

So i met this girl few months back through a mutual irl friend we don't speak to, we had interest to date but it didn't go further than that. It was a situation where we were moving at two different speeds she had feelings for her last guy so we decided to keep as friends, but we have talked a few times about maybe one day giving it another go.

I introduced her to my friend group and she got on really well with them, I had lingering loose feelings for her when she didn't for the last two months so we decided to get space between us early last month. Two weeks later she asks for us to go on a walk together where things felt amazing no awkwardness or issues, then from what i understand a friend hinted that I had feelings (I don't) so she asked me for space.

A week later I reach out where she gave me a long message saying i came on too strong that I've made some in the friend group uncomfortable having feelings for her etc but she wanted to save it for a phone call, then a week later (Today) she reached out to say basically lets not have this call as it'll create other issues, lets just let things be as they are so "things can fix naturally", so I've been waiting two weeks for basically nothing.

She did say that she will understand me feeling a bit blindsided wanting answers as she asked for space and pushed me away but "having that conversation will just open up old wounds and I don't want you to feel upset at the friend group" which i suppose is in responce to them saying theyre uncomfortable with me having feelings but again, I didn't say that.

The thing I did say to her is that part of me holds on to that what if thought of us potentially one day giving dating a go as we are pretty compatible, when we went on that walk I mentioned it to a small handful of people so I feel like thats where that came from, but I also have found out as she said to a mutual friend recently that she may have a second date soon with someone which I'm not against, hurt sure but I'm happy for her if shes happy.

I just feel really shit as again I think part of me will always hold onto that what if feeling of us dating, but also from whatever this situation has been for the last month I feel absolutely awful that basically I've been stressing over and feeling hurt for nothing? I don't really feel like I got closure, I sent a voice message reply which she didn't reply to but played games with friends, so mainly I'm left feeling really shit again

I legitimately feel like i've been unfairly treated here, and it's made me feel absolutely awful now

tl;dr; friend has been acting incredibly strange with me says we need to talk but then decides against it after coming on 3 weeks of giving eachother space

Me and my bf had been dating for almost 2 years and 2 months ago went through a rough patch and broke up. (Context: he disrespected me and treated me badly) Later, I made a stupid mistake and kissed another guy one month after. This guy was really sweet and honestly a great person but I should've never kissed him and I can admit to that. My ex found out and was really mad at me but then we got back in touch after a while. I tried to pretend like I was mad at him for how horribly he had treated me in the past but I couldn't bring myself to ever hate him. I miss everything about him and I do believe he is capable of changing for the better. I have another guy willing to be there for me but l don't want him. I want my ex. This other guy may be good for me and many say he is the better option but to me he isn't. I believe he isn't because in my heart I don't feel the connection with him that I do with my ex. I believe soul ties are real and I believe he is my soulmate. I'd be willing to push through the rough times and work things out. I'd be willing to be there for him and love him. I still love him, l never stopped. I just don't know how to tell him that. I wish I could just run back into his arms and tell him how madly in love I am. How do I tell him this? How do l apologize for my mistake? How do I tell him he's the only one I want in this world? I don't know how to word any of this or how to express how deeply I love and miss him. I love him, I just don't know what to do. What do I do?

TL;DR I kissed another guy 1 month after me and my bf of 2 years broke up(he treated me badly). I admit it was a horrible mistake. We’re still trying to make it work out but we’re both hurt. How do I tell him I still love him? What do I do?

Hey guys, so I (27F) am not looking for a committed relationship as I have lots of future travel plans, but I also find dating multiple people and one night stands draining. I like having a familiar person around.

I went on a date with a fantastic guy (28M) and we ended up seeing each other the next day also and he stayed over mine, we cuddled all night and he kissed me lots. He asked me in the morning what I was looking for and I said I wasn’t personally looking for anything and he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious but he’s really into intimacy with one person but has plans in the next 6 months which is the same for me.

I think he’d be a great guy to pursue a form of relationship with, we get along really well and bounce off each other and he makes me feel comfortable. He’s already invited me to a gazillion things he’s doing (parties with friends, daytime activities, a DJ event in the city next month) and introduced me to his friends and wants to introduce me to more. From what I’m gathering, we’re both looking for an intimate relationship without a serious future or any labels due to having future plans. I want to still date other people as I am recently exploring women also. I want to navigate this properly and avoid anyone getting too hurt or ahead of themselves or controlling. I just want to have a nice time with someone who i get along with, go on some dates, do some nice things but avoid spending everyday together and getting carried away / relying on each other for a lot. Anyone have any experience in this type of relationship? Any tips on setting boundaries and keeping it fun and lighthearted? I want to avoid getting overly deep with him. I want to keep it fun and flirty rather than talk about emotional things and deep topics but I know I have a tendency to do so if the other person does

TLDR; I (27F) met a great guy (28M) who I want to have a casual but intimate relationship with, wondering how the best way to set boundaries and navigate it to keep it fun, flirty but still honest without getting too deep.

My boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) have been together for 4 years now. We met abroad where we lived for the first two years of our relationship. In those two years, neither of us went home to our respective countries (covid times) and thus we didn’t meet each other’s families. After two years we both went home to our own countries and started doing long distance. We are hopefully closing our distance within the next year.

So after our first two years close distance, it was time to meet each other’s family. I am naturally a shy person when I first meet people, especially if it’s people that I want to make a good impression on. The shyness usually goes away the more I see people, but my problem is that, because we do long distance, every time I see his family, I feel like it’s meeting them for the first time all over again. His family is very open and warm and I feel like I’m so awkward around them. There is also a language barrier, especially with his dad. Neither of our first languages are English but mine is a lot better than theirs which is fine. I try to learn their native language but conversing in it is really difficult as I’m am not the fastest at learning it.

When we stay at the parents’ place, I really try to make a conversation with them, but once it’s over I find myself hiding in the room. Or when my partner is out to get something. I find it super difficult to go into a room and talk to them. They have even said to my partner that when he is not around, they don’t see me. And I hate it because I don’t want it to be that way, but I am just so uncomfortable walking around their house like it’s mine. I’m scared they wish I was more social or outgoing. I am an outgoing person but I need to warm up, and as long as I only see them for a couple of days, every two/three months or so, I think it will be hard to warm up to them. We are looking to close our distance next year, but my partner is moving to my country, so I will probably see them even less. What can I do to get over this awkwardness?

There is one more thing. I really love his mother, but his father, he is a very nice man, but I am not always fond of things he says or does. Which I think adds to the uncomfortable feeling I have. One time he made a remark about “africans”. It wasn’t super bad, but myself being mixed, I didn’t like it. My boyfriend did tell him off, but also said that his dad, often says things without thinking about it or even meaning them. We were also once playing pool with his parents and I happen to be pretty good and after a while he says “you play pretty good for a girl”. I don’t mind when people say these things as a joke but he just said it as an observation. Nothing super bad but I feel like he has some old fashioned views on things, which makes me uncomfortable. He can also be impatient when he is hungry and at the place where we were playing pool, which was kind of a game hall situation, with a bowling alley and air hockey etc, he was waiting for someone to come to us and ask if we wanted any snacks. These kind of places are so casual that you just go order at the counter or when you wave at them. But when no one came for a while, he kind of got upset and in an angry way walked up to the counter to go order. My boyfriend even said “the mood will be better once we’ve had our food”. I get it we all get hangry sometimes but as a waitress myself, I could never angrily walk up to a counter in a place that doesn’t really do table service anyway. It’s all just little things but I just don’t like them. Don’t get me wrong. He is really nice, but I can’t help but notice these little things.

I don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting? Am I overthinking it? (I tend to overthink a lot). I really love my boyfriend and he is so wonderful, so I don’t want it to be this way.

tl;dr : I am uncomfortable and awkward around my boyfriend’s parents. We’ve done long distance for half of out relationship, which makes it harder to connect to them.

My husband 32M and I 29F have been together for almost 8 years. We've been through a lot together and always seem to come out the other side stronger. My husband got a job that took him halfway across the country to another state. This change in our lives meant that we would be apart for almost 4 months before I could move to that state to live with him. Well, I finally moved in. Me and our 6 month old daughter, that is. He's sort of already built himself a new life over here. All new friends, new daily routines, he loves it and doesn't really miss our home state at all. I, on the other hand, am so homesick. I'm so lonely. And even though I have him, I still feel so alone because we are on two different pages. This move has been incredibly hard for me, but I'm trying to make the best of it. I am now unemployed so I can be the best stay at home mom to our daughter. I occupy my time going on daily walks to the grocery store and picking up food to make my husband after his long work days. I cook, clean, look after our daughter, and am trying to unpack everything from our move but that's proving to be the most arduous of tasks. All that to say I really don't have time to work out.

I had our baby 6 months ago and my postpartum body is not what I wanted it to be. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and getting back to my prepregnancy body seems like an impossible task. I'm breastfeeding so cutting calories is out of the question. I've tried losing weight but my body seems to want to hold on to my extra fat for fuel to breastfeed my daughter. My husband is a wonderful man. I want to be the best wife to him, but I can tell that he just doesn't find me attractive anymore. He'll never say it, but I can tell. He never wants sex, even if I initiate, which was never the case before. He doesn't tell me I'm beautiful anymore. Before anyone says he's cheating, he's not. I was worried about that myself but after some conversations and investigative work, I'm positive that's not the case. He just isn't attracted to me anymore and I don't blame him. I've got 35 pounds of stubborn weight that refuses to come off, I'm riddled with stretch marks and scars, and my belly hangs from my pregnancy. I feel disgusted when I look in the mirror and I want to cry. I have so much stress from moving, to taking care of my baby full time, to knowing that my husband might just be as repulsed by my body as I am, and I don't know how to cope. I'm also worried my husband might realize he can do a lot better and eventually leave me. I would love to hear any advice you have for me. I am eating healthier, going on daily walks, and just all around moving more. But I just need some advice on how to handle this situation.

Tl;dr: My body is not the same after having a baby and my husband does not seem to be attracted to me anymore.

i've had my fair share of relationships in the past but none of them ever felt like the one i had with my most recent ex. we had a long distance relationship, not my first one and it wasn't his either, but he never really had a relationship that lasted longer than a few weeks whereas i have been in a relationship that lasted over 2 years.

when we met, everything happened really fast, i initially befriended him because he was struggling and it reminded me of myself but we felt an instant connection, a spark. i felt like he was what i've been looking for all this time, even though i told myself i wasn't going to date anyone for a while. but when i got to know him, i felt such a strong pull towards him, like he was my soulmate.

we started dating after just a few days and it was really nice, i had never felt so happy in my life, but then we started fighting. both of us have some mental issues and it caused most of our fights, even though we resolved most of them quickly. but the biggest problems were his insecurites about my ex(because i was intimate with him and my new bf was still inexperienced) and me being very snappy because of my trauma. we had our ups and downs, as most relationships do but we were both incredibly happy. we both thought the other person was 'the one'. there's so much i could say about our relationship, but i can't write that much here.

our relationship lasted for over half a year until he suddenly told me he wanted to break up, that he wants to work on himself, that he doesn't want a relationship right now. i tried to get back with him for a week until i found out that he asked out another girl the day after we broke up. i was devastated, still am.

but just a few days ago, his best friend confessed to me, told me he's been in love with me for months and asked me if i want to be with him. and i do like him, but only as a really good friend.

but after i heard the news of my ex's new girl, i felt so horrible that i was going to take my own life(i've always been depressed, but it never got this bad). he was there for me so i agreed to date him.

i can't stop thinking about my ex, he's my soulmate and without him i just feel completely lost. i don't know what to do. i just want him to come back to me.

tl;dr i'm dating someone new because my soulmate broke up with me and immediately started going out with someone else

Throwaway account obviously. Me (30s/F) and my boyfriend (30s/M) have been together for about 7 years. I had really bad anxiety when we started dating and it manifested by creating a lot of relationship anxiety. Like doubts because it never felt as "real" or passionate as what you expect, I guess. I don't have any anxieties about him cheating or anything like that, more along the lines of worrying that our relationship is doomed because I don't feel like he is my soulmate

Therapy and medication has helped, but I still feel like something isn't right. I was thinking about how maybe my gut is telling me he's just not the one, and I should listen to it, but we also have such a good life together. I feel like we are perfect on paper but I feel like it's missing something. I think we communicate really well and so I think I could bring it up to him, but I want to have thought through my options. He is the main provider right now while I finish my program (about a year left), and I don't want him to feel like I am just using him. But I am kind of dependent on housing at least. I feel like it's awful to say, but financial security is important for me and without him I would really struggle to make ends meet.

Some thoughts I have had are proposing a break to think about next steps over Christmas (we will go home to different cities anyway), going to couples therapy (but I don't know what I would even say), or separating. Breaking up feels extreme, but I have felt this way for so long that I am not sure whether therapy would help? Any advice is so helpful, especially if you have had relationship anxiety.

tl;dr is that my long term boyfriend and i have a really good relationship, but I still have anxiety about whether he is "right" for me. Would couples counseling help?

We've been together about 8 months. I love her with all my heart and we've been through some difficult times but she always calls me whenever she needs someone to talk to.

So if i'm ever gonna earn their respect and hopefully get her out of that bad situation, i know it's early but her parents are very old school christian types so i think that might make things easier on us.

Her parents are very strict on her and aren't the nicest people to her. We talked and she expressed some frustration at this, that she feels trapped, and that she wants to be treated more like an adult and get out of their thumb.

They're very inflexible about us spending time together, so it hit me. The best way i can show her family i'm serious and that i want them to trust me more is to ask her to marry me. Plus her mom has said before that's the only way she can go without their permission, is if i marry her.

I love her and i think she's special, i'd say she's the best, even though it's only been about 9 months we've dated, i still think it's what's meant to be. And maybe i'm superstitious but i've seen signs this might be what's meant to be.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and i have been together about 9 months. She's 25 and her parents are pretty staunch christians and are strict on her, they don't let her go out without permission and have told me the only way for her to get the freedom of going out without a chaperone is if we get married. I figure we already love each other, i think it might be time to do it even though it's still pretty early in the relationship

She just keeps talking to me about the guys she's talking to and how bad her ex was, clear friendzone indicator, and while I have realized I can't come out of the friendzone, I still can't imagine myself enduring her getting pounded by other dudes and telling me after. She is also a huge red flag from what she has told me. There is also an amount of friendzoned guys around her. I've tried to supress my feelings but they were too strong for that( Edgy I know but I really tried. Normally I wouldn't do that but I value her friendship and see skme benefit to it. But she always seems so beautiful to me. I've failed my purpose. After she initially rejected me, I tried to be friends with her. But now I realize how hard that is for me. I also think of how she gives chances to other worse looking guys, while she didn't even bother that much with me, before getting friendzoned, and that just makes me feel disrespected and sad. The only way I can see this friendship happening is a complete change of mindset, which I don't know how it can happen.

TL;DR Being friends with the girl I have feelings for, even if I try to supress them , seems harder and harder each day that passes, even tho I know in a case of a relatiknship I wouldn't trust her. But I really want her friendship too. I believe she would be a great and supporting friend to me. I don't know what I should do anymore. We are also close now. I don't think I can easily swallow her getting in a new relationship while I have to hear about it all. I'd rather die. [M19/ F19]

Me (F/29) and my partner (M/32) have been together for close to four years now. We had been discussing getting engaged and even went to look at engagement rings together but a few weeks after this my younger sister who suffers from chronic complications due to previously having cancer ended up in the ICU. My parents were even on the phone during this time telling me that the doctors weren't sure if she would make it out of the hospital after this recent episode.

Her health has been deteriorating over the last year or so and she has needed more and more surgeries and procedures to keep her alive. The doctors have now said that there is nothing more they can do for her. I believe the time I have left with my sister isn't long.

My partner has been regularly updated about all this and I voiced my desire for us to maybe get married sooner than we had originally planned. We had thought to get engaged and then have a 1 to 2 year engagement whilst I finished off my PhD. But with my sisters health deteriorating I realized how much it would mean to me to have her there to be able to participate and celebrate this moment with us. My partner agreed and we set a tentative date for April of next year.

I then shared the news with my family and a few close friends who I would like to attend the wedding. And urged my partner to do the same as it would be a destination wedding in my home country therefore requiring his family and our friends to make travel plans to attend. He said he needed more time so we decided to push it back to June.

About a month after we initially discussed this he decides he wants to go to Glastonbury in June with his friends. I therefore suggested May as an alternative and he agreed.

For a month I try and get him to plan with me as we will need to give notice and book the registry where we live. He tells me he needs to have some time to look into things himself. All the while I ask him to let me know if he ever feels unsure about how things are going and we can reevaluate but he insists that this is also what he wants and that he doesn't have any doubts about it.

Finally we get to today when we decide to sit down and book the notice and registry appointments. It has now been over one month since we first agreed on having a small intimate wedding next year. He has still not told any of his friends and family.

As were about to book things he finally comes clean and says he doesn't want to do it like this. He says he wants to get engaged first, and then book the notice and registry. I said we do not have the time to do that as he hasn't even bought the engagement ring yet and because I am foreign we will need at least 71 days between notice and registry and these things get booked up fast where we live.

He says that he doesn't want to get married in May and wants to carry out our original plan for having a long engagement. I tell him why this is no longer what I want, as it is important to me to have my sister there and that he had strung me along for over a month having me believe this is also what he wanted.

I now feel like he is never going to be ready and that there will always be a reason for him to need more time. And that he doesn't understand the importance of having my sister there during this moment in our lives and that if we were to have a long engagement and my sister were to pass during this time I would likely resent him for it for the rest of our lives.

I feel like he's broken my faith in him wanting the same things that I do and now if he does say let's get married it will just feel like he's saying it to shut me up.

What do I do. I feel like he's been a coward and not being truthful with me from the beginning if this is how he felt but led me to believe otherwise for a month plus and also has me now feeling unsure as to our compatibility as people due to our differing priorities.

Tl;dr Partner agreed to small intimate wedding in 6 months time to ensure my chronically ill sister would be in attendance but now done a complete 180 and changed his mind

My(28m) Gf(25F) doesn't think this is cheating

We started dating at the beginning of last year and were together for most of it. The last half of our relationship was exclusive, but there were issues and she often seemed distant and not very affectionate. There were a few times when she admitted to flirting and talking to other people. Whenever I brought it up, she’d either change the subject or brush it off, saying it was just harmless fun. She also had hangouts with male friends alone, had at odd hours of the night and would delete the chats from her“friends" and get lost for words when asked about them .She even admitted to emotionally cheating, both in person and through messages, saying she liked the attention and validation of the other men and stringing them along We had many conversations about it, and she promised it would stop, but eventually, she pulled away and broke up with me. She gave a different reason for the breakup, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that the other issues played a role.

Within the year she reached out, apologized for everything, and admitted that the “friends” weren’t as innocent as she made them out to be. We talked about getting back together and agreed on a committed, communicative relationship with just the two of us. Things seemed great, almost perfect and really grew as people together , and we discussed how we’d handle things better this time. She had to work far out town for a few months and the commute was too hard to keep up with so we continued growing while she was gone via text and call, and when she came back , things were good for a few weeks and the most amazing and loving feeling ever and everything was great. She received a message from an old male friend out of nowhere from a person she claimed she didn't have any real communicating with and he randomly messaged her and asked her, and she planned to go with him for some tea and coffee . When I asked about who he was, she shut it down immediately and defensively told me she won't be argueing and said this is what is happening and refused to let me speak my feels because she didn't care about my feelings and it's a me problem, She said she wasn’t asking for permission, got frustrated, and told me I was overreacting and controlling. She also made comments about how I should just trust her and shouldn’t question her actions. Mentioned she doesn't care what I do, It felt like things flipped back to the way they were before, where I didn’t matter and not actually loved I really don’t want to be controlling, but after everything we’ve been through, I can’t help but feel uneasy. She insists it’s just a harmless meetup, but I’m worried that history is repeating itself. I don’t want to overthink or ruin what we’ve rebuilt, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. She says I'm the only one for her and we will build a life together but this doesn't seem like it.

How should I be reacting to this?

TL;DR: Girlfriend is meeting an "old friend" at a local espresso shop, but something feels off. I can't shake the feeling something more might be going on. Am I Overreacting

I , 20F really feel like my bf 20M has im given up on the “relationship” part of our relationship. We live together, and i just feel like someone that shares a house with him. Just like a roommate. All the love i felt at the start feels like it isn’t really there anymore, or like he doesnt want to try. Ive spoken to him about it and he blames it on our work schedules being different and hard to work around sometimes- but if that was the case why do I not feel that way? i still feel that same love i always hd for him, when he used to talk about marriage and our family and the life we could have together.That never comes up anymore, to the point where it is embarrassing to me when i talk about it because i feel like i sound desperate and delusional. Its leaving me with a big black hole in my chest and i cant do anything about it. Ive told him i dont feel loved anymore, it gets blamed on work or us both being busy or he doesnt know what he could be doing to make me feel that way; except its not what he IS doing, its what he isnt. All the loving gestures and things he would do to show me that at the start, are gone now. I feel pathetic, i feel unloved and so desperate for him to give a shit that i feel that way. I dont want to feel like a lost dog chasing its owner. But i do. What do i need to do to fix this?

TL;DR, the effort on his side is gone, i love him the same i always have, its making me feel desperate and gross and i dont know what this means for our relationship

TL;DR My friend (20m) just confessed his love for me (18f) to me and I told him that I am completely overwhelmed and really don't know what to do.

I'm writing this pretty late in the night and English is not my first language, so please excuse any errors. I just met up with two of my friends and I picked them up by car as I am the only one that really has access to a car. We had a great time together and after that I dropped one of my friends off at her house and when I wanted to drop off my other friend he told me that he had something pretty difficult to tell me. Then I already kind of knew what was going to happen. So, I pulled over and he told me that he really likes me and wants to kiss me. But that's when I started shaking. I am very scared of becoming lonely and loosing all of the people in my life, so I just tensed up and told him that I'm really scared and I just can't do that now. He seemed fine with that and reassured me that he really likes me and doesn't want to make me uncomfortable. He really is great as he texted me some reassuring messages just now and overall I really like him. But I'm sitting in my bed now and shaking and can't really pinpoint why. Does anyone have any tips or advice or experience? Please, I really am struggling.