/r/sobrietyandrecovery

Photograph via snooOG

Welcome to r/sobrietyandrecovery! Our mission is to provide structure and support for people suffering from habitual substance abuse. We also provide useful information and resources for addicts in every stage of recovery.

We encourage users to maintain an empathetic and reassuring environment for addicts from all walks of life. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to message our mod team any time!

Please keep these few rules in mind:

  1. Be mindful of what you share: some people may be triggered by what you're talking about. For example, try not to be overly specific or glorify your behaviors.

  2. We are here to be supportive of one another. Do not be dismissive of other people's addictions.

  3. Higher powers can be different for different people. Don't try and get people to take on your higher power than their own.

  4. There is no one road to recovery. Let's try not to criticize the way one person is working their recovery just because it's not your own.

  5. Be honest! Being dishonest is taking that one step closer to being active in our addictions again.

/r/sobrietyandrecovery

10,068 Subscribers

2

RECOVERY IS A PATH OF INCREASE;

A person who embarks on the path of recovery discovers that it brings numerous increments in their life. The most profound transformations occur within, and over time, these internal shifts begin to manifest outwardly, leading to a more fulfilling life.

The first increment is peace. As you find inner serenity, you break free from toxic patterns and behaviors. You become comfortable in solitude, no longer seeking validation from others. This peace overflows into every aspect of your life. You learn to accept things as they are, and you become peaceful about things that once upset you.

The second increment is acceptance. One of the biggest obstacles to overcome on the path to recovery is denial. Acceptance enables us to surrender to the reality that we are powerless over our struggles, acknowledging that we cannot break free on their own.

The third increment is forgiveness. As we grow in forgiveness, we find liberation from the patterns that previously held us captive. Forgiveness frees us from the cycle of resentment, not only towards others but also towards ourselves. By releasing unforgiveness, we break free from codependent relationships and generational trauma, paving the way for deeper healing and growth.

These are just a few of the increments that one can experience in recovery.

One thing that has increased in my life is peace. I was terrified to spend time with myself, but my relationship with God and resolution to seek out healing and growth is healing that. I spent a lot of time escaping, running away from myself because I never had the courage to face myself. It’s daunting to anyone to face themselves and see how wounded they are.

https://kin2therapper.com/a-path-of-increase/

0 Comments
2024/12/12
15:25 UTC

1

Smoking questions

Okay so, i absolutely am having bad cravings right now so dont listen to me, but i want to ask a question to people who have quit smoking.

I loved it, it helped me with my anxiety and since then i have felt the need to feel nicotine again and the euphoria it gave me and i ruined it by not pacing myself more, i was on 3 a day before i quit 2 months ago.

I turned 18 a month ago, i was smoking from 15-17, and the entire time i was smoking shit tobbacco, and i never got to buy my own nice shit, and it feels like i spent all that time looking forward to it for nothing, all the guilt and shame of stealing it from my parents, but i quit, for a girl who wasnt worth it, who caused me no joy, it feels like im still doing it not on my terms and it makes me think about her and what she did in the worst way, she promised me she would kiss me if i quit and i never got it, and i would rather be happy and smoke than have her bullshit no showing ass and not smoke.

Ive had no difference in anything in my life, no apparent health benefits, ive let it run its course, but heres the thing aswell, im better off without it obviously, its better for people around me, better for me in the long run and i won't get lung cancer.

I have people who would be disappointed in me if i quit, my best friend and people at college, i would be hurting them because its a stab in the back of thier trust in me, and i dont want to do that to them.

it feels like ive been banned from something i loved and i really miss it, and my question is can i smoke still? Obviously a stupid question, but its been months, im stressed, ive been drinking more to try and feel something similar, and i want to know that if i do will i have to go through all of the bad withdrawals again or will they not come back as bad, its obviously a bad thing but it makes me happy, and with all the shit in my life it was one of the few things that i looked forward to everyday.

Its the wrong choice, i know, i feel like this was more of a vent than anything, but i feel like i need some positive reinforcement.

0 Comments
2024/12/12
11:57 UTC

3

What helped you get sober ?

I try and try and try and feel like I can never get sober. Too many things from life constantly drag me back to drinking/drugs. I hate my life. I hate myself. I can hold down a job, so a functioning addict. But I can’t live life without the escape of alcohol and drugs. It sucks. I want to be sober but I don’t want to deal with life/traumas/etc. It sucks. Sometimes I hope I can just die from my addiction, and not deal with it anymore.

32 Comments
2024/12/12
01:33 UTC

4

Urges

Hi guys. Never posted here before. I was an alcoholic for 3ish years and I just started accutane a few days ago so I can’t drink. I want to so fucking badly. I’ve had such a hard day and I’m on my period so I’m irritated and just need a drink. I’m not going to, because it’s dangerous and I’ve been wanting to go on accutane for years but holy shit. I don’t want to go do something to distract myself. I just want to lay here and be miserable lol and wallow in my pity lol. Idk I just need some words of wisdom or something

2 Comments
2024/12/11
23:23 UTC

3

Hi guys i urgently neef your help please

Hello guys, I urgently need your help. I smoked weed continuously for over two years and a lot of problems developed, especially with my brain. I've been sober for 10 months and I'm (very) slowly getting better, but only very slowly. At the beginning, when I listened to aif, my brain could hardly do anything. I couldn't think for myself and couldn't, for example, comprehend or understand a sentence that I read in a book or somewhere else. Sometimes I couldn't even calculate 3 plus 4. I know how that sounds, but it was really that bad. When I stopped I suffered from extreme anxiety for 4 months and then I started to act and think like a child again. My brain was so broken that it could no longer understand anything, neither emotionally nor the simplest sentences. I was like a little child and only did things that brought me joy (e.g. eating sweets, gaming, etc.) without being able to think about whether something was good or bad for me. I couldn't make any rational decisions and was extremely slow in all areas and forms of thinking. My brain also had problems processing and classifying and naming things. As an example, there are two metal rods in front of you but you only recognize one even though they are right next to each other. You can neither recognize nor process the length, the shape or any other properties of these metal rods, you only know that there is something long gray there and you only discovered the second metal rod by chance even though they are right next to each other.It's slowly getting better again, but I'm noticing more and more what's broken in my brain and my psyche. Above all, I notice how much of my actual intelligence I have lost. I'm 22 and I've currently started training to be a carpenter but I don't think I'll be able to do it because of the problems I've gotten from smoking weed. Sometimes I don't understand the simplest things and sometimes I still have the problem that my brain can't think and that causes me big problems in my training. Is it possible for everything to recover and at least largely return to the way it was or will it stay like that forever? Are there any ways to bring back the old intelligence (other than education) and effectively repair the brain? I want to take some LSD and hope that it will expand my mind a little and make me a little more emotionally stable and repaired. Would that work or would it do more harm than good to my brain? I don't plan on taking a lot, just microdosing moderately. Is there perhaps some kind of therapy to repair the brain? Have any of you had similar experiences as me whose brain was also so broken? Can you tell me how things went for you and whether everything has recovered for you?

1 Comment
2024/12/11
22:03 UTC

0

I need a little help (tmi btw)

So I (30F) have been 5 years sober as of December 19th of this month from ice, I won't use it's actual terms because I know it can be a trigger for some who are just getting off of it. Backstory: I was badly abused by an ex he tried to UNALIVE me just 3 days of sobriety in 2019. Ever since, I've had horrible delusions with my current partner (45M) like he's secretly cheating on me ECT down to thinking I can hear someone on the other side with him. I feel horrible as there's never signs of another ever physically. I love day to day with worry and hate towards myself. Every time I bring up how I feel towards any "negative" situation he gets mad and yells "why not go use again" I don't ever want to touch that stuff again. I feel like I'm alone and have isolated myself from a lot of people. Now currently, I have been less motivated by any adult actions with him in the bedroom to the point I'm almost always never "turned on" and I feel horrible as I do want to do things with him and I just cant help shake the feeling something is wrong with me as he keeps telling me "there's something wrong with u your not as bla bla bla as you used to" it makes me feel horrible. Has anyone (specifically women) gone thru something similar with their body when it's not no one's fault? Or am I going insane. Some times I can get very active in that sense, but most of the time it's like I'm completely numb to the thought of it all.

4 Comments
2024/12/11
11:16 UTC

0

MY DRINKING TOOK A TURN AFTER I SMOKED MARIJUANA;

My personal experience with marijuana has given me a unique perspective on its effects. While many view it as harmless or even beneficial, I’ve witnessed firsthand how it can be a gateway to a darker path. For me, smoking marijuana marked a turning point in my life, leading to a deeper descent into addiction. It’s a reality I wish more people could understand.

My descent began in late 2004. It started with a night out at Joker’s bar in Wandegeya, where I smoked my first blunt with Marvin. This encounter marked a turning point in my life.

Prior to this, I had started drinking in September of the same year while attending the Aga Khan school’s Olympics in Nairobi.

The first time I got high, I experienced intense laughter, followed by pauses, and then more laughter. This pattern continued into the next day, leaving my family puzzled as I laughed uncontrollably during breakfast.

That night, I had terrifying dreams, many dark things were clothing me. From then on, my life spiralled downward. I became increasingly consumed by addiction, losing interest in school and basketball. I found solace in Tupac’s music and eagerly awaited weekends to indulge in substance abuse.

Looking back, I recall an earlier experience with substance abuse during Senior 4 vacation. At my cousin Ishta’s party, I drank Malibu and other liquors, enjoying the confidence boost. A few months later, I found myself hooked.

After smoking my first blunt, my drinking habits escalated. I started experiencing frequent blackouts, losing personal belongings, and struggling to recall how I got home. My mother would often find me passed out, still wearing my shoes. This cycle of substance abuse continued every weekend.

As time passed, my addiction deepened, fueled by fears of death and a fascination with hip-hop music.

https://kin2therapper.com/took-a-turn/

0 Comments
2024/12/11
10:23 UTC

2

Dangers of detox

I’m taking an overdue break from alcohol, tonight being the first night without a few glasses of vodka in a long long time. i’ve been aware of my dependency on alcohol for a long time so i’ve done my best to control it. I can easily cut myself off after 2-3 if i’m in public, but i’ll always make sure to have one or two more when i get home.

I’ve heard about the health dangers of quitting cold turkey, and i’m not in a situation where i can go to a detox center. The only remaining alcohol in my house is one little airplane bottle of vodka, and a small amount of wine. How will going cold turkey affect me through the night and next day? I’ve heard you should allow yourself a small shot of alcohol on your first night.

any at-home detox advice is welcome, thank you!

6 Comments
2024/12/10
15:45 UTC

1

WHAT I WOULD DO WITH A BILLION UGANDA SHILLINGS ($272,621.31 USD);

This substantial amount of money has the potential to make a significant impact in supporting we that struggle with addiction to overcome it. Given the challenges on the ground and the alarming relapse rates, I’ve been pondering a critical intervention that I believe would be efficient in addressing the relapse rates.

Imagine a welcoming space where we in recovery can find support, guidance, and community all in one place. I envision a Recovery Resource Centre, a safe and informal gathering hub that offers:

  • Recovery-themed movies and documentaries.
  • Access to relevant literature and educational materials.
  • Free counseling services.
  • Connection with experienced mentors in long-term sobriety.

This innovative hub aims to:

  • Reduce relapse rates.
  • Foster essential life skills for sustainable recovery.
  • Facilitate seamless reintegration into society.

The greatest hurdle in recovery is often the reintegration into society. After completing rehab or achieving sobriety, we are plagued by self-doubt and fear, wondering how we will navigate our newfound sobriety in a world that can be overwhelming.

This critical phase of recovery is frequently marked by:

  • Fear of the unknown.
  • Doubt about one’s abilities.
  • Limited knowledge for healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Lack of access to wisdom in navigating life’s challenges sober.

With these challenges stacked against us, it’s not surprising that many of us in recovery succumb to relapse.

A Recovery Resource Centre would serve as a vital bridge, connecting us with the support and resources we need to thrive. This informal hub would provide a welcoming space for us to gather, share experiences, and access essential tools for maintaining sobriety amidst life’s challenges.

With UGX 1 billion ($272,621.31 USD), I would allocate half of these funds to sponsor 50 deserving individuals struggling with addiction to rehabilitation programs. This would provide them with a chance to overcome their addiction and start anew.

Visit my site for more- https://kin2therapper.com/proposal/

0 Comments
2024/12/10
12:27 UTC

1

Finding treatment for alcoholic

Need to find inpt for homeless male on Medicaid in the Seattle area. Polysubstance user with primary alcohol dx. Ideally needs long term inpt with connections to sober housing/halfway house. He's late 40's, demonstrates mental impairment similar to wet brain, significant decline in physical, mental health in recent years- multiple significant injuries while under the influence resulting in SSDI income. Just completed detox and is at ER with pending discharge within next 12hours likely.

Would love to find something out of state but not sure if that's possible with Medicaid. Minimal family in the area and no sober support network.

Working fast on this so any help would be amazing

2 Comments
2024/12/10
06:35 UTC

2

MEDITATION;

This morning, as I was meditating, a certain verse crossed my mind.

Psalm 91:11. Amplified Bible, Classic Edition;
For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].

As I reflected on this, I asked myself: What are my ways of obedience and service? How does this intersect with my journey of recovery? As I pondered these questions, a stream of insights and revelations began to unfold, shedding new light on my path forward.

One way of obedience and service is surrender. When I surrender to do His will instead of mine in a certain situation, He gives His angels especial charge over me to preserve me in that. When I choose not to engage in something toxic, I get peace.

Another way He sends His angels to preserve me is in self-control or temperance. When I choose restraint and resist excess, His angels accompany and preserve me.

As I continued to reflect on this verse, those insights emerged.

It’s in these moments of reflection that I find clarity on the challenging aspects of my recovery. When uncertainty and discomfort arise, I’m reminded that guidance is always available. And when I receive answers like these, I’m filled with a sense of peace and comfort.

Step 11 of the 12 Steps is pivotal in fostering growth in recovery. Step 11 states: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. This step helps to integrate various aspects of one’s journey, piecing together things that would be impossible to piece without it.

Visit my site for more https://kin2therapper.com/meditation/

0 Comments
2024/12/09
18:12 UTC

10

My 5 year drinking problem just went away these 2 months - STRANGE

So i have had an huge issue with drinking since i was 18, First time i discovered alcohol, And it was like my savior. Always been socialy akward. Never really had friends. But the alcohol made me the person i never thought i could be. So thats how the unhealthy relashionship started for me.

Im a problem drinker, So i drink 2-3 times a week really heavily and this has been going on for almost 7 years now. Im 25 now.

But these two months has been very different, I have only drank 3 times these 2 months. And i dont know why, I just dont have the same cravings anymore, It feels like i have gotten bored of the drinking wich is very strange. I cant bother to go to the bar as soon as i have some money, Wich i always did before. As soon as i got some decent money i always hit the bar, EVERY TIME. Now its like i dont even have the energy nor craving to drink. I went out yesturday with my gf and drank 3 beers then i wanted to go home, Wich has never happened. Im the guy who tells my gf to go home and then i stay in the bar and go all out, Doesnt matter if its a monday. I just pub crawl and get as drunk as possible. I now this sounds horrible, But i cant count how many times ive come home drunk 6 am in the morning while my girlfriend is sleeping because i just cant stop drinking. Many times i cant even explain why im doing it.

So is this normal? Really its like im a different person and i dont know how this happened. Just a couple months ago i was on a vacation in brazil for three months, I was drinking every other day. Now i just naturally am bored with it.

15 Comments
2024/12/09
07:54 UTC

4

It really does any difference?

Been sober for 9 months almost and feel the same bas as ever, not feeling like something change, I didn’t have a problem to begin with but have a major depression, I going back to drinking just bc still it don’t matter if I do it or not

6 Comments
2024/12/08
19:46 UTC

4

Question for fellow owners of a uterus

Hi y’all, I’m 25f and I’m an alcoholic in day 16 of recovery. This question is pertaining specifically to menstruation post detox. Did anyone else have a hellish period after getting sober and if so, how did you manage? Mine started a few days after I was released from detox and my cramps and flow were painful and heavier than they have been over the last several years, which I normally would have drank my way through. I read that my drinking had thrown my hormones off balance and the alcohol was numbing my nerve endings so that explains the why but I’m unsure how to deal with it. Things like Midol never really helped me before, I’ve tried all of the old tricks like heating pads and self pleasuring, and I’m worried that the pain is going to trigger me to want to relapse when it comes back next month. I have a great support system through my AA fellowship and my friends but I have this constant fear that I’ll lose control when the pain hits again because it will be closer to the anniversaries of some very traumatizing events from my past. Any tips would be very helpful.

1 Comment
2024/12/08
18:03 UTC

8

Sobriety and sex drive

I've been sober for 5 months, and in my relationship for 2 years. Back when I drank most nights of the week, we would be intimate a lot - I had no inhibitions really, and felt frisky when I was drunk.

My partner has been incredibly supportive of my journey to stop drinking, but one of the side effects has been that I basically have no libido. We aren't intimate that much. I know it bothers him, and it's starting to affect me as well - like, why aren't I feeling like getting it on anymore? I realized that most of the sex I've had over the last few decades has been when I was drunk.

Any ideas on how to help this?

9 Comments
2024/12/08
16:38 UTC

5

DEALING WITH MOTHER WOUNDS IN RECOVERY;

To maintain sobriety, it’s essential to confront and release all resentment. Growing up as an only child, I struggled with the suffocating effects of my mother’s overprotection. This led to deep-seated resentment towards her, which ultimately fueled my addiction. Raised in an environment of fear, I developed unhealthy coping mechanisms that only intensified my downward spiral. The wounds inflicted by my complicated relationship with my mother cut deep, contributing significantly to my struggles with addiction.

Trying to break free from my mother’s unseen yet very real overprotective grip led me down a dark path. This bled into all relationships I had with women. I was fearful and mistrusting of them. The unresolved mother wounds and deep-seated resentments I harbored towards my mother polluted my relationships, ultimately contributing to my downward spiral. Mother wounds or resentments towards mothers has led many down a path of heavy substance abuse as a way of escape.

In these 12 years I’ve been sober, I’ve learnt how to navigate the complex terrain of mother wounds. Through trial and error, I’ve transitioned from unhealthy coping mechanisms to constructive strategies for healing. Here are some of the valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way:

1. Making Amends and Taking Responsibility;

One of the most pivotal moments in my healing journey was when I sat my mother down and made amends after getting sober. I took ownership of my past mistakes, apologized sincerely, and acknowledged my role in our complicated relationship. It’s easy to blame our parents for our struggles, but it’s essential to recognize that we, too, contributed to the dynamics. By acknowledging our part in the relationship and taking responsibility for our actions, we can begin to heal and release the burdens of resentment and guilt. This act of accountability, though challenging, is a crucial step towards forgiveness and reconciliation, especially in relationships with our parents.

2. Establishing Healthy Boundaries;

Setting healthy boundaries has been instrumental in transforming my relationship with my mother. I recall how her financial support would sometimes trigger feelings of resentment and injustice, leading to anger and, ultimately, drinking. However, as I gained independence and became self-sufficient, I was able to establish clear boundaries with my mother. Breaking free from the cycle of codependency has been a crucial step in this process, allowing me to develop a more balanced and respectful dynamic with my mother.

3. Dealing with Entitlement;

Concurrently, addressing my sense of entitlement has been a vital aspect of my healing journey. As an only child, I had grown accustomed to a sense of privilege, which inevitably fostered feelings of entitlement. Recognizing and confronting this mindset, particularly when it came to material possessions, has been instrumental in my growth and healing. By letting go of these unrealistic expectations, I’ve been able to cultivate a more balanced and grateful perspective on life.

4. Recognizing My Mother’s Independent Journey;

A pivotal moment in my healing process was acknowledging that my mother has her own path to follow, with her own unique lessons to learn and growth to experience. As I focus on my own healing and development, I’ve come to realize that I cannot pour energy into trying to heal or fix others, especially those closest to me. This understanding has been incredibly liberating, allowing me to concentrate on my own evolution while accepting that others, including my mother, must navigate their own journeys at their own pace.

Read on for more on https://kin2therapper.com/mother-wounds-in-recovery/

0 Comments
2024/12/08
12:41 UTC

11

Old habits die hard

I have been sober 2,450 days, so like 6.7 years. I always seem to slip back into repetitive patterns and just can’t seem to break them. My biggest problems are anger, lack of self worth, anxiety and self loathing. I am successful, I feel I good looking, I work out, eat well, take care of others and genuinely am a nice guy day to day. Problem is, in the back of my mind, I am never enough. I constantly second guess myself and if anyone makes me feel like I am 2 inches tall, I lash out in anger. I am not physically or verbally abusive, but am verbally overbearing. I have the biggest ego but the smallest self esteem. I can’t seem to break these fucking patterns. I’ve done AA, pray, been in therapy, and have zero desire to drink, but I just feel like I will never change mentally.

I am engaged to the most amazing woman and I don’t deserve her. My issues are seriously ruining our relationship lately. I am just lost. My sponsor just keeps saying give it to God, go to meetings, talk. I moved out of my home state a year ago with my fiance and just can’t get into a groove with meetings here. The people are just different and I don’t jive with them no matter how hard I try. I don’t know if moving back home will help.

I am just looking for some outside advice. I don’t want to ruin my relationship. This woman means the world to me, but since we moved, I have not been myself. I just don’t adapt well. I am a mess and just am looking for advice from people that have more tome than me or have been through similar situations.

Any advice will be absolutely appreciated.

11 Comments
2024/12/08
11:56 UTC

5

Ready to start my life over

So I've been sober for a good 5 years now. Honestly, it wasn't that difficult. The drinking put me in the icu for 2 weeks, the doctor told me I was going to die if I kept drinking. They got me through withdrawals and I never touch a drink again. But this post isn't about my sobriety. It's about gaining my life back. Since I got sober I have basically withdrawn from social interaction. I don't go see my family, my friends, I have no sex drive. And I'm ok with all that because I like it for the most part. But now I think I am ready to have a life. Has anyone ever found it difficult to start back up. I want to find new hobbies, try new things but I dont know where to start. And to be fair, I dont even care about friends, but I would like to meet a girl to spend time with, but the thought of giving that much effort is exhausting. I'm 34 BTW, and I realize this is more of a rant than anything but I'm ready to move on and I don't know how

6 Comments
2024/12/08
07:45 UTC

21

Hello, my name is Christian and I'm an alcoholic.

I want to stop my drinking habit. I only drink vodka, and I drink about a quart a week. I just want to have my life back. I have aspirations to be a chef, but the way I drink. It won't happen until I stop this habit. I drink because I'm bored. But I feel like if I don't stop I just might die. Please help.

10 Comments
2024/12/08
02:27 UTC

3

learning to pause ! Sober relationships

Why is so hard to allow a man love me ? I have been in so many abusive toxic realatiinships that when things are great and I mean I have the best boyfriend , kind patient and never disrespectful that I create Negitive space in my head when things don’t go my way or on my time schedule !

This poor man who was exhausted from making me happy going to the gym going to meetings as we are both in recover but love N.A. and AA and realize no matter what room we affiliate our sobriety with in the end we are suffering from a disease !

My boyfriend has a lot more sober time then I do and this was not my first time staying clean it has taken me years of living a fine line of sober and fucked up but this last time something clicked

I want to live ! I just wonder if this self seeking behavior will get better with more time and working through my steps with my sponser ? I know I can’t depend on him to constant making me feel important or need his constant attention but often don’t know how to control this need Yes I have a sponser yes I have worked the first step any advice on how to change this anxious attachment style and not push this man away ?

0 Comments
2024/12/08
00:39 UTC

3

9 Months Sober and Feeling Grateful—Sharing My Journey

Hi everyone,

I’m just shy of 9 months sober, and I can honestly say it’s been the most transformative time of my life. Sobriety has taught me so much about gratitude, faith, and living in the present moment. Like many, I struggled with staying stuck in the past, beating myself up for my mistakes, and worrying about a future that felt hopeless. But through the guidance of AA, learning to lean on God, and a commitment to take it one day at a time, I’ve found a peace I never thought was possible.

I started a blog recently to share my journey—everything from the lessons sobriety has taught me to practical tools that have helped me grow. My hope is that it can provide encouragement to anyone navigating their recovery journey or exploring faith and self-discovery.

Feel free to check it out here: https://rexrobinhood.blog

Looking forward to connecting with this amazing community. If you're new to sobriety or have been on this path for years, I'd love to hear your thoughts or experiences. Let’s lift each other up!

5 Comments
2024/12/07
23:26 UTC

3

Facing the thoughts I was running from

It’s been a few days of no alcohol, but I’m still using marijuana on a daily basis.

When I am completely sober, I have these dark thoughts. That there is nothing for me in this world, that I am unlovable. Kept thinking about my abusive former relationship. The thoughts couldn’t go away.

I was strangled unconscious by my ex and then woke up terrified, being ignored by them as if I hadn’t been laying there dead to the world. I keep remembering that feeling, I didn’t know where I was, just confusion and fear.

Self pity is a tool that my addicted mind uses to try to get me to drink again I think. I have been through some bad things though.

I feel like many of my friends and family don’t understand, and I don’t want to push them away with such darkness.

I have wonderful friends but I feel so alone. I’m only 24, but I feel like I have no future.

2 days sober from alcohol, 12 hours sober from weed. How can I make it easier?

2 Comments
2024/12/07
17:15 UTC

2

ADDICTION IS LIKE A BULL IN A GLASS FACTORY;

It destroys everything in its path………………..

One Saturday, as I was walking to school, The Inward Witness prompted me not to go out that Saturday but read. I was in Senior 5, the equivalent of Grade 11. I never listened to the prompts of The Inward Witness and went out…

This particular Saturday occurred before I succumbed to the grip of addiction. However, once I started drinking, Saturdays transformed into dreaded hangover days, spent trying to recover from the excesses of Friday nights. Addiction, like a bull in a glass factory, left a trail of destruction in its wake. One of the first things it broke was my education.

I had chosen a challenging combination of Mathematics, Economics, and Geography. Initially, I excelled, notably achieving a perfect 100% score in my first Mathematics test during Senior 5 (Grade 11). This was a promising start, and I felt hopeful about my academic prospects, especially since I hadn’t started drinking at that point. It seemed I had a fresh opportunity to “make things right.”

I mention “making things right” because my academic journey had previously been marred by setbacks. In Senior 4 (Grade 10), I faced expulsion from King’s College Budo, a boarding school. As a result, I had to commute from home to complete my Uganda Certificate of Education (UCE) exams. Having lost momentum and hope, I deliberately missed my music final paper, which is reflected as an “X” on my certificate. I loved music and this shows you the state of my mind then. Unfortunately, I didn’t pass my Senior 4 exams, a disappointment that lingered until I got a second chance in Senior 5.

https://kin2therapper.com/a-bull-in-a-glass-factory/

0 Comments
2024/12/07
16:59 UTC

5

Celebrating mom’s sobriety

My mom will be one year sober from alcohol after a scary hospitalization last year. We don’t talk about it much and she tries to brush it off like it’s not a big deal - I’m assuming this is because of shame about things we haven’t yet worked through together. I want her to know that I am so proud of her and grateful for her sobriety every day but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Any advice?

4 Comments
2024/12/06
20:14 UTC

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