22M Things are getting out of hand. I’ve been hooked on findom for about a year straight and everything is going downhill. It got to the point that I had been spending nearly $1k a week. I’ve been actively trying to better myself and distract myself by studying for my appraisers license, going to college, and working out. And I still sometimes get heavyy urges to send. I do end up relapsing from time to time but it’s getting better gradually. I went down to spending max $70-100 a week. But I want to completely stop and deal with my urges so I have a chance to live a fulfilling and healthy life.

I could really use any advice I can get right now. At the moment I’m also struggling on leaving behind marijuana and Xanax, but my major concern is findom since it’s taken so much money from me that I need for my basics. My head always feels like it’s about to explode when I don’t succumb to my urges and when I do I STILL feel like a mindless piece of shit.

So where do I start? Been a stoner for maybe 2-4 years.

During my time being a stoner, I kept this habit strictly to myself. I hid it from family and friends, even the close ones. The people that had any clue were my plug and maybe anyone I’d have a joint with every now and then.

Leading up to quitting, my life was getting so messy and unstable. So many unnecessary mistakes and bs during that time. Other than a lot of of other stuff - I flaked on kicking it with my friends every now and then. Whether it was gym, just hanging or other things we planned. Constant cancellations for months/ years. I’ve always been afraid that they’ll finally realise and cut me off or something. Sometimes I’ve wanted to say something. But felt like I’ve been lying for so long and that really scared me.

Anyway, I’ve been sober for 8 days, first time in a long time. But recently had to cancel on seeing some friends, not for weed but the plans changed and they were stepping out to a party and I just wanted to hang, have some company. After telling my friend I wouldn’t come, I could tell from his tone that he expected this, felt like they were just sick of me. Idk i also acknowledge that during his time of going through withdrawals, I’m bit more stressed and emotionally unstable. So I tell myself that this isn’t a huge deal and with time and staying on this sobriety journey, I’ll be able to make up for anything I need to address soon.

But man…really feels like shit when I’m trying to do better, when I need support in this time of instability. But Ay, I guess this is the price you pay for keeping an addiction secret, you end up talking to yourself and god only. I’ll ride this wave, I’ll keep telling myself that my friends aren’t in the wrong, they literally have no context so I can’t expect them to just understand can I? I’ll keep tellingly myself to just stay positive and patient

Monday I hit a month free from crack. I have had a 35-year habit. And I was able to walk away with no problems when craving it or anything until I hit a big wall on Wednesday when I got denied a job that I just knew I had. It just absolute crushed me and it's the first time in over a month that I wanted to use. I had the lighter in my pocket and had already sent up a hey how's it going to the girl who got my s*** for me. I kept telling me after I do this one thing so I make cookies for the kids up the street like I said I was going to went over and watched Jeopardy with my mom and talk myself through what it would be like so this away. And I am proud to say I remain sober. And after I got through it my desire to use went away again. I am absolutely loving my new life. There are a lot of things wrong right now but I have the resiliency to deal with them now. Thank you guys for being here.

It seems every few days I'm realizing I have yet another personality glitch of which I was unaware of prior to sobriety. When I think I'm getting a grip on one thing, yet another odd behavior pops up. Today it's Codependency. Is this a normal series of events with sobriety? It's as if I pulled a thread, and everything in me is unraveling. I don't recognize who I am anymore and find it almost impossible to make even the smallest of decisions- things as simple as wardrobe, hair color, home decor, hobbies. I second guess everything I do. I'm not looking for magic answers, or something to numb myself. I would just like to know if others experience sobriety in similar ways. 🌿

Hey guys quick question about cold medicines. Does diabetic tussin contain alcohol? The only 2 ingredients that seem worrying are menthol and propylene glycol. Thanks in advance.

I've asked here before about getting sober and was pleased with the positive response. That said, I found most platforms that support sobriety are religious based. While helpful in principle, I don't believe in any particular church. Is there a place that supports sobriety without religion at the heart of it? Provo, Utah is an unfortunate place to not be Mormon

I'm currently working with a team to develop a digital tool to help treat substance use disorders and am looking for participants age 31 or younger (or parents of folks age 31 or younger) who have suffered from substance use disorders. 

The purpose of the interview is to gather information about the needs of young adults and their families when managing and treating substance use disorders. The interview will be 20 minutes over the phone or video call (camera not required). The interview will not be recorded and your information will be completely confidential. After completing the interview participants will receive a $10 Amazon gift card. Please fill out this screener form if you are interested-- thanks for your time! https://forms.gle/FARJUA7Rurx5NZfLA

I’m new on my sobriety journey. I’m going to talk to my therapist more but I just want advice from people who have actually gone through this.

I’m emotionally and mentally dependent on alcohol. So there are not physical side effects from quitting. The cravings and anxiety from not having alcohol are what’s bothering me the most. I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m an atheist and I’ve heard AA is religious. Am I welcome there? Can I do it? Or is there something else I should try? What should I do?

Like the title says I’m one day sober. I’ve been trying for a while and I really want to do it this time. I’ve realized how bad it’s gotten and I can’t do this to myself anymore.

The cravings are strong and get worse at night when I use to drink. It’s night time when I’m writing this. The cravings are strong. I really want to go to the store. But I can’t relapse on my first day.

What are some healthy substitutions or something I can do instead? Encouragement is appreciated

I love being sober. That’s all. I wanted to say it because I always feel guilty saying it to my family and friends (all moderate-big drinkers) because I fear that it sounds like I’m bragging. But I’m not. Just wanted to express how much I love being sober. Hope you all are coming into your own in recovery as well ❤️

Just wanted to share :)

I know that I'm young....but I've been struggling with alcoholism and other addictions since I was 15. I've been addicted to Xanax and LSD in the past. I'm currently 5 days sober from drinking and easing off of nicotine. Honestly I find it hard to form thoughts, making this very difficult to type out..... it's beyond necessary, though. I can't think straight anymore, I can't rationalize when I'm drinking, I become some sort of monster and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of not recognizing myself in the mirror. I'm sick of hurting people that I love more than anything on this Earth. I'm sick of pretending it's okay. I know I have a long journey ahead of me and it's not going to be easy. But knowing that there are people out there that are in the same boat...it will make sailing a lot easier. Thank you, everyone, for your bravery to share. You've all made it possible for me to be comfortable enough to share as well. I hope that together we can find the peace we're looking for

Today.

I gave it up as a one year challenge to go along with my weight loss goal.

Once I hit the year - I didn’t ever look back. I never would’ve called myself an alcoholic.. but others would’ve.

I enjoy being so clear and present that I don’t ever see myself going back.

You can do it. One moment, one hour, one day at a time.

So long story short, I’m a woman in my mid 40’s who has always been a party girl. Not drugs, never drugs, but loooove the wine nights with my girls. I’m now married and have a child, so my party days are behind me- for the most part. I have an occasional glass of wine, rarely drink at home, and only go out about every few months. But when I do go out, I binge drink like I’m 22. I have a BLAST (and from what I’m told, I’m a super happy fun drunk), but then I wake up not totally remembering how I got home (I never drive, I always take a car service), am wracked with guilt and anxiety, and have a shitty hangover that lasts for days. Do I really need this in my life? It’s like, when I know I’m not driving and my child is home safe with dad, I let loose. I don’t monitor how much I’m drinking. There’s literally no voice saying “this is #4, maybe switch to water?” I just turn into this party animal. I’m so scared I’m going to black out and do something stupid that will affect my life. It’s also worth noting that my partner is recently sober. They have stated that they don’t care if I drink, they just hate it when I get drunk. Totally valid, but I maybe have a tiny bit of resentment that they chose to change their lifestyle and now mine has to change (although our drinking was NOT the same, and their decision to get sober was the best decision ever.) But now I feel judged by them when I do drink. This is honestly a love/hate relationship I have with alcohol. I love being sober. I love getting shitfaced with my friends. I’ve never regretted waking up after a night of not drinking- I can’t say the same after waking up hungover. Why is it so hard to just drink like a fucking normal person? I feel like my head is going to explode.

Day 7 no drinking. I was able to enjoy my kids sports games without being hungover and feeling shame for it. I felt more connected to my partner than ever cuz I wasn’t just drowning myself in alcohol all weekend. Very happy and proud. Stay strong yall. Much love . 🖤

Last year on may 2nd the day before my 21st birthday my mother died from a heart attack. I have been an addict, from when I think the first time I picked up a drug or maybe before that. My using really escalated after my mum passed it when from using three four times a week too shoving as many drugs in my body as possible and this led too a few overdoses and me doing some things I really do regret. At the minute I’m in the rooms everyday Monday-Sunday, I’ve got a sponsor and I keep getting to 40 days and relapsing after my feelings and guilt about my mum come back (I blame myself). I’ve been using ket for the last 3-4 days nothing major but I’ve been hiding it from my dad and my girlfriend. Anyway my girlfriend noticed I had ket all on my nose yesterday, she kept calling me a bad person, a retard all the rest of it. After her sending me back home to my dads, he keeps reminding me that he can make me homeless, and that I’m financially dependant on him etc etc. it’s just starting to really get on my nerves and my go to is either suicide or to run a way (Ofcourse I’m an addict). Anyway, I needed to vent cause everyone in my life is getting on my nerves and making the way I grieve about them. That’s what it feels like, maybe I’m being self centred I don’t know.

Hello, I'm masha, 22f, and I have a question for you guys, from one recovering addict to another. First, some context:

I quit my drug of choice almost exactly 3 years ago. It took me some more time to kick weed and alcohol though, but im 2 months sober now. Im on meds for my mental illnesses, i go to therapy (for almost 8 years now) and addiction counseling, went to NA, i have a job, I'm supposed to return to school again next year in music, I have friends and a support system, I take care of myself (eat, sleep, do yoga, meditate) and journal almost every day.

My question is, does it really get better? Because this was my worst fear you know, getting sober and realizing that my life isn't worth living anyway. I've been through so much, and it has objectively gotten better (moved out of my parents place, made new friends, got a job, made goals and followed through with them, etc) and yet I'm still considering unaliving myself. I struggled w suicidal thoughts before too, but the nature of those thoughts were more impulsive than anything. But now, I'm more calm and calculated about it. Which is worse I think. I never had a real plan before. Now the outlines of said plan have started to form.

Is it because it's still too soon to tell? I know it's impossible to give a time-line for recovery, since it varies so much from person to person, but was there a moment after which you started feeling steadily better in your sobriety? I thought i'd specify as well, my meds are working, I haven't had an episode in months (it isnt a question of brain chemistry at this point) I feel like like I've given it my all these last few years to get better, and I'm slowly losing motivation to keep trying. If you have any stories to share that you think could be relevant to my situation, I'd love to hear it. Did it get better for you guys? Let me know, thank you in advance, I really appreciate it. Have a good 24h.

Hi all, can you please let me know what your "rock bottom" was/is?

I've been told by a few people that you have to hit rock bottom before you can get sober.

Obviously that isn't always the case but I really need to know what was the one thing that stopped you drinking?

I've been in jail, hospital with acute pancreatitis, my liver is going the same way, I'm in so my pain, can barely get out of bed

But I don't want to stop.

Am I screwed?

I am a polyaddict and I used to love just doing any drug for the fun of it. But now that I’ve been sober from everything for about 3 weeks now I feel like and am a total piece of shit. I feel like I just go too far in every conversation and no one wants to even be around me because of it. My girlfriend has been strangely distant ever since I’ve gone sober and it feels like she just doesn’t want to be around me. All my friends support my efforts through words but don’t want to do anything with me because of my past or the fact I don’t do drugs anymore. I’m just lost for what to even do at this point. I don’t want to go back to using everyday but I just can’t find any enjoyment in anything.

Well 74 days in 45 were in a rehab facility. I'm not craving alcohol, I just want my head to shut the fuck up. I'm dealing with the damage I've caused, trying to heal myself from past traum, and salvage a marriage. My partner is hit or miss and says they need space... I'm and anxious they are an avoidance attachment style.

I'm trying to process my thoughts for the first time in 43 years with out booze, religion or being a sex fiend. I'm trying to process shit and I feel like I'm getting my ass kicked it sucks.

Any help would be nice, also I want to process this shit once and for all so temporary distractions are fine but I don't want to replace my past coping skills with other crutches.

Thanks.

Is it normal to be a year plus into recovery and still be getting worse? I mean mentally and emotionally, i think im developing mental illnesses and symptoms ive never had

Hello 👋 (37f) been drinking daily heavily since Covid. My longest stint without is nearly 3 weeks. My bday is coming up and I really want to change my life.

Is there anyone else who’s around 2 days and wants to chat and motivate each other?

I am 26 years old and almost 500 days sober. I wouldn’t have classed myself as an alcoholic but I definitely used alcohol as a social crutch for quite some time, it also really messed with my mental health.

Long story short, I have just made a video which goes into detail on why I stopped drinking at such a young age and if anyone else is of a similar age, hopefully this will help!

https://youtu.be/se9PY2upMeY