You're probably thinking: weed isn't that bad! Hear me out.

Me (29F) and BF (32M) have known each other since college, but haven't dated until a mutual friend's wedding 2 years ago and now we live together. I knew he was a stoner in college. I don't smoke, but I've had plenty of roommates who have and it really doesn't bother me.

Over the first year he had opened up to me about his reliance on weed. He even admitted that during a tough year in his masters degree in COVID times he was depressed and was so high that he was losing touch with reality and hospitalized himself. And I knew over the course of the relationship so far he has gone off and on it. He's expressed many times how much he wants to quit and feels a lot of shame.

Here's the thing though: he tries to keep it secret from me, experiences TERRIBLE withdrawal symptoms (sweaty, in bed all day, irritable). If he smokes every day for a month and goes off for a week- I'm sleeping in the other room that week cuz he wants to be left alone. When I first moved in, it wasn't until I caught him smoking that he actually admitted to going back on it. Even after a couple times I told him I smelled it in the apartment he acted dumb abt it. My response was mostly chill cuz I don't care abt weed use so much. It's on him if he wants to stop. But I told him the most hurtful part about it is him not telling me. Over time I got him to open up more. He tells me he can't do weed in moderation. He's spending $400 on it a month when he's on it.

Also want to say he seems like a totally functioning human. We moved in together a few months ago. He helps around the apartment, cooks, cleans, works his full-time job no problem. If anything - I would say it actually helps him a lot of the time: with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. We both have ADHD. He takes another medication for his ADHD which he has no issue with. I don't take any medication. Very smart guy. High achiever. When he's going through withdrawal - he's still trying his best, kind to me, and extra apologetic. He goes to work during this time, but then he comes home and goes straight to bed and I swear when I check on him he's just kinda laying there in agony.

Ultimately IDC if he ends up doing it in moderation or ... I guess if he can afford (we make $100k each in MCOL) it continues going on the way he's using it or quits cold turkey. But I did tell him many times how important it'd be for him to talk to someone while he's trying to figure it out. I'd be lying if these withdrawal systems weren't affecting me too. He's reached out to a couple potential therapists. Trying to be chill enough so that he's honest with me but also really encouraging he gets help. Let me know what I can do to support him through this. Thanks.

Hi all, I’ve been battling with substance abuse since I was 15, I’m 23 next month and I’m struggling to stop, I can manage to go 4-6 weeks and then I think screw it im going to do it I’ll then get on 2 day benders. All my friends have either fallen out with me or are always angry with me for doing it but I just can’t stop. I love it, it’s affected my work I’ve been sacked from 2 jobs this year. I just don’t know where to turn to or how to stop. I have been in hospital a few times this year due to my mental health and the substance abuse but I feel like the mental health teams aren’t helping me much (I’m in the UK and the NHS is shambles at the moment) I just don’t know where to turn

My fiancé who I have been with for three years admitted to me on date 1 that he was addicted to meth for a short time. He was so forward about it and transparent, and it scared the shit out of me. Honestly, it was the only reason I drug my feet. He is a fantastic man, supportive, emotionally adept, creative, handsome, loving….

About two years into our relationship he moved closer to me and shortly after, moved in. Shortly after that, he asked me to marry him. I always admired him for being so strong and resilient. He hasn’t had an easy life. I truly believe in soulmates and he is definitely mine…

He’s always been high energy, not a good sleeper…is always on the move and has adhd pretty bad. He’s a musician and keeps strange hours naturally, so I didn’t think much of it. Until a few months ago. About four months ago I found a glass pipe. I knew in my heart that it was exactly what I was fearing it was (I am very very niave to hard drugs). I went out to dinner by myself and contemplated how to approach him about this. I know I could fly off the handle and he’d be respectful and kind…and part of me wanted to. For years I trusted this story of recovery from him. I felt betrayed that this man who was supposedly my best friend would keep something like this from me.

I decided on a letter - so I wrote that I saw the pipe, and that I’d really like to talk with him about what that means for him and us. I also reassured him that I love him, and that we can work through almost anything if we have eachother.

Later that night we talked. I cried and told him I felt betrayed. I felt alone and almost “bamboozled” by this discovery. I felt like a fool. He said he had no excuses besides just having a weak moment that turned into more weak moments. He said that the drug doesn’t serve us as a couple and that he wants to work with me to get rid of it for good.

So we did. I am in the medical field and we titrated dosage and weaned him off to lessen the side effects of withdrawal.

That was one month ago. Last week I discovered he’s doing it again.

I feel lied to. I am so fucking hurt. And in this vein I have become suspicious and lookin up his location and being so much of the person I don’t want to be. I am not this paranoid girlfriend. I have always been laid back and felt safe, especially in our relationship.

I approached him again about it. Again, I gave him the space to think through things and come to me when he’s ready to talk. Over the past month I had been having mental breakdowns over his behavior, reading into things, being this controlling monster of a woman. I felt like he was taking advantage of my level headed-ness and willingness to be what he needed in those tough moments. I totally made it about me and our relationship. I was mean.

We got through that, and really we are working through some things. This drug is the root of all these issues, I feel. And it has certainly brought forward some self-esteem issues for me. I only have one rule in a relationship and that is to just keep me informed. I don’t care if you’re out all night. Just let me know what’s up. Plans change? Shoot me a text. Wanna take up underwater oil painting in the nude? Sweet! I’ll pay for the paint.

But now he’s turning off his location. I’ve never felt the urge to look before recently. He’s being sneaky with his phone. Last night he wanted to go to a dig site (he’s an amateur geologist), a spot we’ve been together many times, and something felt off. I decided to look up his location and I found that he turned it off. And the last time he was romping around the last area I saw him in I had a full on nervous breakdown and freaked out on him, which wasn’t good. So I tried to understand why he’d turn it off. I’m always trying so hard to be supportive.

I seriously feel like my world is falling apart and I don’t know what to do. We’ve and I’ve invested so much into this relationship. And I feel like there’s no solution to this. I don’t know. I’m devastated. Desperate. Tired. Angry. Broken. How much of my own needs do I sacrifice for the man I love?

How can I go to rehab in Florida if I don’t have insurance

Hi, I’ve been clean for 7 and a half months. I have bpd and i feel like this is a huge part of this because it makes me become obsessed with people. But, we got clean together, and then he decided to use. he drinks every weekend, lies about it, says he’s gonna stop and then does it again…, not anywhere near me though— he can’t because he’s in the military so i rarely see him. but we talk everyday. anyways i think our relationship is stressing me out and i’ve been thinking of relapsing more and more. he told me he doesn’t want to commit to me and when i brought up breaking up he started backpedaling. oh the cherry on top is him cheating on me back in may and me finding out. i’m in shambles right now, I don’t know what to do. i don’t feel like a priority to him

I’m (F22) 2 years and a half sober from alcohol, weed and some pills. I was in rehab for 10 months and I’m still in the post-rehab program for the next 4 months, I go to meetings and all my friends are from the program, they’re really great for me. No bf, no family member who do drugs.

For the last year (since I’m out of rehab), I have never really thought about drinking or smoking. I’m really selfaware and my little little craving are easy to treat. I went through a bad breakup and some bad event but my recovery was never too affected. I went to concert and big social event, I was so strong and confident about myself (I’m socially anxious, paranoid and self conscious a lot in public).

I’m starting uni. It’s cool, I met some kind girls. Everybody were at the bar all week and it’s tougher than I guess. I would really want to go, have fun but I know that the craving and the weird feeling of being left out (even tho I would probably not be alone) will be so huge. I would want to drink to be less shy or to be not different from them.

Also, even tho I’m living with my best friend, I talk to my friends everyday and we’re seeing each other at least twice a week, I feel so alone. This feeling makes me want to smoke. I really really want to be so chill and less in my head. I always smoked alone back then, it was MY moment.

I don’t know what are my intentions here, I needed to vent.

Hi guys really hoping this the best place. I am working with my brother to get him into rehab for alcohol, he’s also using bud. I had him set up to come out a place on the East Coast unfortunately they weren’t able to offer him a full scholarship. I really need a good place in Cali where ever the best one is. I can fly him anywhere in Cali, preferably a place he will be able to have the most success. He has medi cal. thanks you.

hi. uhm, i’ve never sought out help for this topic before. i’ve always just handled it on my own bc this situation has been so fucking exhausting for 10 years. but i mean this persons sober now, they’re going back to who they were before, they don’t yell at me as much and i don’t have to count the minutes until they’re them again.. but im just afraid to get hurt again. he hasn’t seen our child in about a year, i did that for a reason. i wanted him to learn what he could lose and its looking like he did learn, but what if im wrong? i’m second guessing everything but he’s doing everything out of the kindness of his heart, at least i think. see? i really- am not sure about anything bc im afraid to trust for both my child and i. i have to protect my child at all costs right?

EDIT: This person is not sober. this post is irrelevant. they lied about the whole thing.

I have been abusing drugs for 5-6 years now. This Aug 1st I decided to never touch drugs again , I was feeling strong day by day but I've started to eat junk food and over eat to stop my urge to smoke pot or drink alcohol. I've notived i have gained to some weight. So i tried to stop junk food and be on diet from yesterday. Today morning I woke up and the first thing I wanted to do is eat something tasty. It's been 5 hours now I feel like I want to do drugs . I have a feeling I'm gonna relapse. Anytime I might call my dealer and buy some stuff!!! What should I do

hello so im clean from snorting meth for like 2 months now but like almost every night i keep thinking abt it and i honestly don’t know what to do beacuse i don’t wanna start doing it again but i want to and im scared im gonna end up doing it again,any tips on how can i get this fixed?

Hey yall, as the title says how can I help my brother with drug addiction?

I used to have substance issues too, but I so desperately wanted to be better I was able to get out of my mess.

My brother on the other hand has completely given up, I know i cant force him to change or want to. I'm just unsure what to do. I am truly open towards anything.

Hi all! Congrats to everyone in recovery and counting. So I'm 24 and got on OxyContin and Xanax at 20 for two years straight. I'm over two years now and have acne ever since I got off of it. None of my family have it I know it's the drugs I'm just trying to see how long this will last? Anyone have any insight? Thanks! Also yoga is what transformed me and kept me sober if anyone is considering!

Just wanted to say that I’m rooting for you. You can do this. Just for today.

Dear Reddit,

I have had an ED for 4 years and addictions for 3. First I started smoking pot, then ecstacy and then everything I could get my hands on. I started using speed to focus on school and clean my room and work so I wouldn’t fall behind. I just wanted people to be proud of me, everyone always told me “Your very smart and you can do everything, you just have to do it” and I finally did it. Everything. I used it multiple times a day and didn’t eat didn’t sleep, got paranoid psychosis a few times. I graduated high school a few months ago and quit after experiencing psychosis at a theme park. It was hard but I did it. But I smoke daily. It’s helps me to sleep, eat, calm down and generally deal with heavily stimulating environments and people. My functioning is so messed up from the ED and drugs for years that I seriously don’t. Feel. Hunger. To the point I faint. I have tried to eat sober and even tried my best and stayed clean for a month and two weeks but I can’t eat anything. My body repulses it. Next to my lingering body image issue. Basically, I really want to be better and stay clean and eat and be healthy and confident but I just can’t.

Does anyone know how to get my appitite back? Or easy sensory friendly things to eat? Everyone here is lovely amd I am so glad I found this server. :) 💜💗💕💞💓💙💜

I just wanted to share this with some internet strangers, as telling those around me either sounds dull or smug.

For the last seven years I have been on weekly benders of drugs and booze. I was still in the party scene at the age of 34 (after a tee total adolescence) and didn’t think there was anything wrong with my drugging as all my mates were doing the exact same thing (if not, lots worse!)

A few months ago my usage dramatically increased when I moved in with a fellow party head, and I ended up snorting every other day…I was going in to work on no sleep and unable to breathe through my mouth. I was lying and covering up my addiction to my partner, getting in thousands of £‘s of debt, letting my family down last minute on plans and being a generally shitty human being. I had nothing left to give to life and the “party” was no longer any fun.

Without making any big exit, I stopped accepting invites out, and instead buried my head in quit lit. I took supplements, went to yoga and started running again. It was dramatic how quickly I felt better after all these years, and whilst I have my ups and downs, I can feel my self esteem come creeping back.

My social life has definitely suffered though and I have lost the sense of community I had from being on the local party scene. I have to say though, that a part of that is my own doing. I have really started to question the basis of many friendships made in recent years, and whether there was anything beyond the drugs & alcohol which made our time shared meaningful. Sadly, I’ve come to Realise that many friendships were made through a shared love of being intoxicated. I’m also finding that my interest for the same environments / spaces has left me, and I’d much rather be somewhere quiet & peaceful.

Anyway, just wanted to share a little bit of my story. I’m still very much in my early days and I’m not taking any day of sobriety for granted. Much love to anyone out there who is fighting the same Fight- a new way of life is possible!

Do people know why they relapse? Is it a trigger? Stress? Or just an overwhelming urge?

How long should i stay in a sober living/oxford house? I feel like im ready to move home but unsure at the same time. I was in rehab for four months and am entering month 4 in my oxford house…i am in an iop program and recently stepped down to op which is half the time during the week. I regularly attend meetings and pretty much only talk to and spend time with sober people and family. I just miss my husband and stepdaughter and being home. Thoughts?

How many of you had to move to remain sober? Is it possible to stay where you are?

5 days of solid drinking. What have you found to be the best way to get back on sober track?

I’ve struggled with alcohol and nicotine(still struggling) but disordered eating has always been the biggest problem for me- overeating, undereating, extreme diet, body image issues, etc. Overeaters Anonymous uses the AA Big Book and the 12 steps (Step 1- we are powerless over food). I’m doing the steps and in step 4, but having a hard time. I had a sponsor who I worked out an eating plan and she would tell me she didn’t think it was a good idea that I had dried fruit in a granola bar- not really a problem food for me? After that I got a sponsor who didn’t focus on eating plans but doing the steps and that was much better- I could feel the obsession lifting but haven’t been able to find a place of “sobriety” like some people have. I notice when I start losing weight I start obsessing over being thin again and fear weight gain and the disordered eating comes back, along with a bunch of other stuff. I know it’s a process but it feels like there is no end in sight sometimes because it’s not like you can just cut food off cold turkey and be sober.

Hey I did my DOC (a common hard stimulant with long duration) 2 times in the past week after several months clean. Got a great sponsor and I'm on step 4. He won't sponsor me again if I relapse but I haven't told him.

No one knows I did it. I made it past the drug test this week. I have been forced to quit by others every time I have tried recovery even though my motives eventually become more internal. I didn't use heavily, actually moderated it somewhat for the first time this time. I don't want to get away with it though!!

I learned that even if I do this drug "responsibly", the guilt, obsession, and loss of gratitude for normal life is overwhelming. I have suffered greatly in the past for this drug but I'm not currently in a very bad place despite having used this week. Its been almost 3 days since my last use and I only used twice. I want more badly tho. However, I want to go to rehab again. This time my motivation is entirely internal; I know I can be happy and a good person without drugs and will be miserable and morally bankrupt with drugs in my life. What do I do??

I've started making arrangements to prepare for going to rehab like notifying my job and other responsibilities. What I'm worried about is how mild this whole thing had been. Do people ever get it right for good after such a painless relapse? I did not hit some rock bottom. I did it, had a good time, had a rather unpleasant comedown which has passed, now its over. I know if I hide it I am being dishonest and therefore doomed to relapse again so I have to go to rehab.

Is my next recovery attempt doomed to fail because this relapse was not terribly painful? Plesse help.

Hi all, so I’ve been taking benzodiazepines for about 2 months now, prescribed for my anxiety, and I’m wanting to get off of them completely. I tried quitting cold turkey but the withdrawal was so horrible that I had to pop one just to feel better after 3 days. I do at most .5mg every two days now but I don’t want to rely on them anymore just to have a semi-decent night sleep. I read it’s dangerous to taper off by yourself and so I want to detox in a reliable treatment center but I’m scared to chose the wrong one and come out worse because I’ve read some horror stories so I was hoping that anyone on here has some insights on which rehab center is the best to go to detox in California. I just want to feel better and deal with my anxiety in a non-medication way.

So there's a guy I know for many years. About 10 years ago I fell in love with him, but he rejected me bc he was in a relationship. Then, later, he was in love with me, while I was in a relationship and I rejected him. And finally after a 10-years story we didn't rejected each other and fell in love with each other.
The only problem is that according to my observations he is an alcohol and weed addict, although he is socially adapted, productive, does a ton of things.
Recently he asked me whether I would date him or not and I said 'I'm not sure'. And he asked 'Why? What's the problem?' I said that I think he drinks too much. First of all he started to turn it all into a joke but then he said 'I know I'm addicted. I guess I can do something with alcohol but it's difficult with weed because it makes my brain work in a way that helps me write books' (he writes and publishes books and also writes and sings songs and he is very talented). Then he added 'You would be my motivation to stop the addiction'.

I don't know how often he drinks (sometimes every day I guess) and how often he smokes weed. I didn't have time to figure it out.

My feelings are ambivalent. On the one hand, I don't believe in promises, for some reason I don't believe in getting rid of addiction, and I don't think it's worth even starting to date him. I think everything will be useless in advance. On the other hand, this is a very beautiful story that has lasted 10 years, and I haven't been as in love as he is for a long time. I'm afraid I'll regret that we didn't try to be together.

Tell me, is it even worth trying?

My partner told me about a year ago(?) that they were an alcoholic. They had drank every day for months and it got in the way of their life sadly. I was dating them when this was happening and I didn't know until they said they stopped. But they still drink, just socially. I think they still use alcohol where it's still unhealthy/damaging since they have turned to it when they feel like shit. We even had a small rule about drinking (they couldn't go out to drink or drink excessively at home) during a break because they did that before and called me really drunk and sad lmao

We're in an argument about it and they don't think they need to completely stop drinking because it's not bad anymore. They smoke everyday too and believe they need to completely stop smoking to be considered sober, but for alcohol they don't need to? I can't tell if I'm crazy for thinking they need to stop drinking completely to be considered sober or an ex-alcoholic.

They keep saying I'm controlling because of this and that I'm just rigid. I've had my fair share of an addict in my life, my brother, who terrifies me still to this day because he can be very aggressive when it comes to being high or on other drugs. I don't want to deal with someone else being an addict in my life, as horrible as that sounds, and my partner has said they'd stop smoking. And since I found out about them being an alcoholic, I expect them to stop drinking too. But it "ruins the fun" as they said.

Am I being controlling or unreasonable?

I'm looking for some different organizations that provide scholarships and grants for treatment or a website that lists such organizations. Web searches haven't shown up many results.

I do not need the ins and outs of what Medicaid covers or how to apply or anything else.

Due to certain circumstances, I am specifically looking for organizations that help with scholarships and block grants OR a resource that lists ones that do.

I'm aware that SAMHSA does some block grants, and I'm aware of 10,000 Beds, however I'm not gonna bank on any one place, and am trying to apply to as many as a can.

I'm not sure this is the right place but here we go...

Recently I disappointed my partner. I'll spare you the details of what happened but the tldr is that I didn't keep a promise, partially because of alcohol being at the event I was at (I've had to clarify this as I've had people saying an an alcohol, I'm not, I rarely drink, I was just at an event where drinks were had) and partially because of weather. I feel horrible about it, and they're rightful acting more distant than ever before.

I feel awful and I don't know how to fix it so I cut myself. I have a history of doing of depression anxiety and self harm and doing it normally fixes my issues temporarily but it hasn't now. What can I do? I can't talk to my partner about it because that seem manipulative AF, I can't talk to my friends about it because they'll blame my partner, I can't talk to my parents about it because they won't care, I can't call a helpline because I'm too old or they'll send an ambulance which I don't want.

I've reached my wits end with this feeling of anxiety and feel suicidal. I'm not going to do it but I just want someone to talk to about it. Who do I go to about this?

I’m in the park by my house, had a breakdown on the sidewalk or something. I’m meant to be picking up my daughter from my dad’s place right now, but I can’t get my fucking shit together.

I’m tryina to have her move in with her aunt becaus I can fucking see it every time I look at her how I’m gonna fuck up her life. I’m the only person she’s got right know and I’m still strugling to stay clean - tapering, whatever the fuck. I’ve been telling myself; if I just get her safe then I can call it quits jump off a bridge or something. This is rock bottom right? 24, drug addict, deadbeat, failed marriage. Almost funny actually. Ifk how people are meant to get to the lowest point in their life and be like yeah k I can turn it around now. Reckon I got here dunno how many days ago, failed an overdose and I reckon not even being able to top urself right is pretty fucking low lol.

I don’t think I can do this anymore tbh, all my effort to just barely function, not function, so fucking tired. That’s selfish, really selfish. I just need someone to tell me what to do cause tf is any of this shit anymore?

I had an alcohol relapse 3 days ago because of my unresolved sleep disorder. I thought I am going insane because of the constant tiredness, so I started to drink (I know, really clever of me...).

I made 2 months without alcohol before that, and I am kind of proud of that, but I need to stop again. My body feels so terrible, I can't eat, I am in pain. When I stop drinking, the symptoms are pretty bad. Nothing dangerous I am 100% sure (too short of a timeframe and I am not drinking vodka or hardcore stuff) but it would be the ugliest hangover

Please, is there anything that can turn this into a smooth ride, I just want to be free of alcohol again but I just can not stand the time frame it takes to get completely sober, its torturous and just continuing to sip and drink seems way easier

Hello everyone. I'm looking for a program that has sober living that also provides rides to work and possibly access to a gym. I know it sounds kinda picky of me. Iam about to graduate from Aliance recovery on sep 3. As of the 1st I will have better insurance full ppo. I want to do things better this time like obtain employment asap, and work on my physical health. Any suggestions would be great thank you everyone.

ETA: I'm in NA I just hit my two months clean mark and I've finally made peace with needing more support from my group. I picked up a copy of the step working guide and I've been nervous since. I had a previous sponsor ghost me before we even got to really chat and I'm kinda worried that I won't find someone to mesh with. If anyone else felt nervous about choosing a sponsor, how did you get over it? 😣 It's probably nothing and I'm overthinking it, but any encouragement would be appreciated