A friend of mine is leaving for treatment the day after Christmas. I want to give him a book so he have something to read there. I'd like to know what's the best book everyone read about men in recovery

So here’s the situation I’ve been on 4mgs daily of Suboxone for about 6 years, unfortunately I have some legal situations soon and very possibly will have to do some jail time and in my state they will not allow your Suboxone in, the thought of having to detox locked in a jail cell with no help is a nightmare I CANT do that! So I’m going to Advanced Detox in Detroit to do the 4 day Rapid Detox next week where they sedate you to sleep for your withdrawals. I think this is best for me because my mental addiction has long since been gone. I do not crave getting high anymore I am 100% confident of not wanting to use. Every time I’ve been around opiates before since I been on subs I have had no urges at all to use. My question is has anyone here ever done Rapid Detox? I’d like to ask a few questions.

What things could these outpatient centers improve on to help people become sober. One thing for sure is to treat people with kindness and love. I see a lot of outpatient centers treat patients like shit which is awful.

I've had a severe gaming and food addiction that I'm trying to get help for. Is has definitely been destroying my life (stopped having relationships, lost thousands of dollars) but I understand people with physical addictions like drugs and alcohol are going thru more than me so I've been reluctant to go meetings and take time away from them. Are there other resources I should be going to instead or are those the correct place to look?

officially hit 48 hours off xanax. was on a low dose (0.75-1.5mg/day) for 3 months.

first week of my taper was fine, went down 0.5mg every 3 days until nothing based on the info i could find online and how many pills i had left. doctor didn't give any advice for taper because it was a "low dose" so the only real risk i could face would be "rebound anxiety" in her words. i have some emergency 0.25's saved just incase but i really dont want to use them unless i have to.

i think the worst part for me so far has been a general sense of oversensitivity to any sensory stimulation. lights are the worst, any jumpy/quick noises are a close second. threw up twice for no reason. haven't had too much anxiety but am having really terrible dissociative spells. however, i think it's a coping mechanism to deal with the discomfort. also, muscle tension. i keep having muscle spasms that feel like little nerve-zaps. my jaw feels like wood. every minute feels like an hour.

i'm thankful i'm still able to be at work (BARELY) because having no choice but to follow a schedule is providing my days with (at least some) normalcy. i will say that my head felt like it was gonna explode at the end of my shift though. took a benadryl and some magnesium and it seemed to help. eating a little bit and drinking a lot of water is helping too. ordered some GABA that will arrive sometime today.

i feel like 72 hours will be my peak discomfort before it starts to get better. wishful thinking? i'm mad i was ever put on xanax. i never wanna touch this stuff again, even if i was taking it as it was prescribed. i feel like i'm being punished. posting because i don't have anyone i feel comfortable reaching out to and i don't want to feel like i'm in this alone.

Just wanted to say, i'm celebrating 6 years clean from heroin tommorow 🎉

You guys can get clean from drugs too, i believe in you all

I don't believe in a 'higher power' and won't stop smoking weed because it helps to control my epilepsy. I'm 26f and addicted to coke. everyone in my social circle uses it too, as does my bf. I WILL NOT abandon my friends or break up with my boyfriend. without then I would just use more to kill the loneliness. rehab isn't really a thing in the UK unless you pay thousands of pounds to private rehabs, so that's not really an option. I feel like I'm doomed. like I'm destined for a short life and a tragic death. if neither 12 step programmes or rehab can help, then what can help? what do I do? please help.

Hi

I was wondering Ive been in recovery going on close to 4 years i finally got clean but I had to smoke weed for a few months in order to get clean .

I was curious since in my state weed is legal does it still count as a relapse if u use weed for medical purposes like for sleep every once in a while . ?

Hey People, i’m recovering from abusing stimulants the last nearly 10 years of my life. I’m sober now for nearly 3 months, but still suffer from serious mental health issues like depression and sleeping problems. I often used stimulants for partying on weekends, but often i also used them alone at home, binging and watching porn for hours and hours. I feel a lot of guilt about the way i behaved being high on stimulants and this causes serious problems with accepting myself and i start to isolate and fearing social interactions. I’m starting therapy soon and i am happy, that i finally made the decision to stop doing stimulants and other drugs - but I often still feel so fucked up that i can’t even go to work anymore and often have the feeling of strong fear, that i fucked up my mental health forever and i can not get my life back together. How are your experiences with recovering from this mental health issues after you stopped speeding and how are you handling the feelings of guilt and shame? Would help me a lot to gain some hope again from hearing some of your storys, because i had some really rough weeks behind me, beeing unable to go to work this week and my thoughts and fears are making me crazy. I wish everyone reading this only the best and love for your future life :) (not a native speaker obviously, sorry for grammar mistakes )

Hey People, i’m recovering from abusing stimulants the last nearly 10 years of my life. I’m sober now for nearly 3 months, but still suffer from serious mental health issues like depression and sleeping problems. I often used stimulants for partying on weekends, but often i also used them alone at home, binging and watching porn for hours and hours. I feel a lot of guilt about the way i behaved being high on stimulants and this causes serious problems with accepting myself and i start to isolate and fearing social interactions. I’m starting therapy soon and i am happy, that i finally made the decision to stop doing stimulants and other drugs - but I often still feel so fucked up that i can’t even go to work anymore and often have the feeling of strong fear, that i fucked up my mental health forever and i can not get my life back together. How are your experiences with recovering from this mental health issues after you stopped speeding and how are you handling the feelings of guilt and shame? Would help me a lot to gain some hope again from hearing some of your storys, because i had some really rough weeks behind me, beeing unable to go to work this week and my thoughts and fears are making me crazy. I wish everyone reading this only the best and love for your future life :) (not a native speaker obviously, sorry for grammar mistakes )

Idek where to start this. Guess im just reaching out because I feel like I may find some support/like-mindedness in this community. “Relapsed” last night and literally spent all day gooning w/ porn and toys. I live with family currently but when I use im just so embarrased and ashamed that I isolate myself, which makes it easier to fall into the porn spiral. Also makes it easier to allow the voices in my head to tell me to “keep going, ur worthless, this is ur purpose””do something crazy”.

luckily or unluckily for me I have spiritual tendencies/am quite sensitive to dense energies, so I can see & feel the demonic aspect in meth & porn use, how it feeds those energies and makes them stick around. I used to think I was going crazy but now that im older it makes logical sense. All that to say. Im tired. And im over it. I want to change but my porn addiction feels like an old friend. It also feels like porn wont hurt me like a real person might. Le sigh. I just looked up the cma meetings in my area, going to attend a virtual one tomorrow evening. Just need some hope from some one/ones who’ve been thru something similar and feel like they’ve kicked it.

This summer I moved back to my hometown after living in the southwestern US for two years, I was happy and had some pretty good mental health support. I went to the local free clinic in June to set up my state insurance. I explained to them that although I been sober for two years, I still needed to continue mental health and addiction treatment because I knew I need to keep working on my PTSD and depression. Asked another doctor's office, heard nothing back. I foolishly shrugged it off and went about my life. Slowly my symptoms kept getting worse and worse while I was dealing with an abusive relationship. Two months ago, I left the abusive domestic situation, had a complete mental breakdown and relapsed, ended up in the ER. Went to an addiction clinic connected to a local hospital that I use to go to that helped me stay clean, they lost all their addiction councilors the past year, so they gave me list of therapists to find on my own. The only problem is only ONE of them on the list was in my insurance network, this therapist admitted that she had no experience with addicts, she was nice enough to refer me to another therapist but turns out this therapist wasn't practicing anymore. Went on my state insurance website most of the addiction councilors didn't take my insurance anymore or wasn't accepting new clints. Tried other local health systems but most only offer help unless I was unhoused or a convict doing reentry (sucks, but I get it). My Depression and PTSD kept getting worse and worse until I had another breakdown and relapse. Now I am searching for outpatient rehabs and been considering inpatient, I tried to get help when I still wasn't completely broken down and had some stability in my mental state. Now I feel like I only have options for the resources I need when the damage was done, when I been trying to prevent this from getting worse in the first place. I was screaming into the void until the worst happened. I have an addiction problem, but I also have major PTSD that is the root of most of these issues, when that is addressed and treated, I am able to maintain sobriety. I tried helping myself but there's only so much I can do.

Hi, I have been sponsoring a trans woman for about 4 mths now. She is @ 65 and transitinoed 2 years ago. She was in a hetero marriage and has adult children. There is no contact and a lot of animosity with her ex now. As we approach step 4 I feel a huge obstacle. I have a lot of issues in my past re sex and powerlessness which I have processed to a degree where my life is good but they can come up periodically I am feeling that I dont want to go thorugh her step 4 inventory with her as it will all relate to when she lived as a man with a mans experience. I also feel she is inhibited talking about her old life to a degree and I feel weird asking tougher questions about when she was a husband.father. Appreciate any insights.

First I want to congratulate everybody on here that's clean and sober, I almost had my 30 days last week but I ended up relapsing it going to jail and then going to detox.. I'm glad I'm able to now notice that the behaviorl the week leading up to my relapse, was relapse behaviors. I'm not here to talk about myself though, I have five children I've been with my children's father for the last 7 years. Our children (ages 6,4,3 & and 1 year old twins) love him dearly and I love him with all my heart he's a great father and when he's sober he literally is the best partner. We both want a sobriety, I have a alcohol addiction and he has addiction to methamphetamine, we got sober and clean in the past together, but we were forced to by cps. It was about 3 years ago we lost our babies and we worked our asses off and did everything that we were supposed to and got them back and during that time of sobriety we learned eachother and fell more and more in love, we got our babies back 3! years ago and since then had three more lol This past 3 years his use has increased and mine has as well. I want to break this generational curse we both have and be the best versions of ourselves for our children and eachother. The problem is, he will detox (for days) literally will sleep for a week straight and be grouchy. When he finally is able to get up, he doesn't know how to function without being high 😭 so then we fall down a rabbit hole over and over. We enable eachother horribly and have a uncle who also is a addict who lives here at my grandmas with my aunt who is not a addict. I don't know what I'm on here doing, pretty much just venting (ig?) and maybe hoping somebody could give me some advice on how I approach and go about this, he does want to go to treatment, he actually wants to go to inpatient but hasn't made efforts to yet, I start IOP Monday . But while I'm attending meetings and sleeping alone at night he is isolating and getting high. It just hurts because I can't leave. What would you ladies do?

( if some of this doesn't make sense it's because I'm talking to text, lol and holding a twin)

TW: abuse

When I was at the peak of my alcoholism, I became abusive in every way to my ex. I hate myself for it. I’m still struggling to forgive myself, and most painfully, I wonder if he’ll ever be able to forgive me. We’re not together anymore, but we saw each other for the first time in two years this week. It forced me to face the hurt I caused him and the painful memories we share. I can see now how deeply he’s been affected—how much damage I caused, and it breaks me. I see his PTSD, and I feel like I’m the reason for it. I don’t know how to forgive myself for what I did, and honestly, I’m just drowning in self-hate right now. I know I can’t change the past, but that doesn’t make it any easier. If anyone’s been through this, I’d love to hear how you started healing from this level of regret.

We said we can try to get to know each other and start from scratch but he constantly brings up all the hurt I caused when I was sick and crying for help

Keep friends close but enemies closer. That's my relationship with alcohol.

I don't want to give a life story. But I'm caught between saying myself and others.

I have a decent job, I can make and save money. I had a downspiral earlier this year and I'm coming back from it.

Was in rehab 3 months ago. Moved in with my mom and little brother so I could settle back in easier.

My mom told me it was until I got myself back on my feet. However, the past month, she's asked me to borrow more and more money, in increasing amounts.

I have no car or other relatives to stay with. I fear if I tell her I can't/won't she'll kick me out. I'm in the northern states. It's fucking freezing.

Just stressed. Any advice.

I know that it’s not, but any sliver of happiness tricks my brain into believing i should drink. Barely can even say I’m on day 1. I know better and choose worse every time. Sitting in bed today fighting panic attacks, stomach aches, headaches, fear for the future, a broken heart, and nausea. Fun right?! Just the life everyone who loves me, wants for me.. right?? Just the life i want for myself?… NO. I’m so very tired. So very scared of being in active addiction and not being able to fight it. Im so incredibly exhausted of losing everything i love, because i choose worse. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I have to do better, because i know better. I just can’t do it alone.

And I don’t meen drugs that you have tried once or twice, I meen the ones that developed into an addiction.

Me: booze, weed, gambling, benzos, amphetamine, cocaine, nicotine, sugar and social media

Every single waking moment is consumed by this relentless obsession. “Do I have enough?” “How long will my supply last?” “Will it be sufficient for the week? For the month?” “If not, what must I do to ensure I have enough?” And so the cycle continues.

This sums up my life perfectly, but I don't pity myself—I've created this situation on my own, and the deeper I fall, the harder it becomes to escape.

I'm facing a significant challenge, and I've heard it can take up to two years for the brain to gradually adjust and improve each day. I aspire to reach that point, but I'm feeling drained and uncertain about whether I have the necessary strength to succeed, but I have to remind myself that it's my addiction whispering doubts, claiming I lack the strength and determination, etc.

Enduring the pain of not getting high is emotionally overwhelming, so I resort to using drugs to dull my senses. My daily objectives are simple: Don’t think and don’t feel. In essence, I transform into a living, breathing zombie.

In NA, they often say this journey typically concludes in one of three places: jail, institutions, or death. Unless I gather all my strength and commit wholeheartedly to staying clean, taking it one day at a time. It's straightforward in theory, though far from easy in practice.

I am faced with two options: embrace sobriety and pursue a life with purpose, or continue existing in a zombie-like state. While this may seem like a straightforward decision to many, it's not as simple as it appears. This is precisely why so many addicts become mere statistics, as the numbness of living like a zombie can often seem more appealing than facing the alternative.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm headed with this, just expressing my thoughts and seeking some clarity, I suppose. What I do know is that I will always have a place in NA and other support networks for addicts, and that is a privilege which I do not take for granted.

Someday soon (very soon!), I will take up one of those seats, as it's something I truly aspire to do. It brings to mind the adage, "keep coming back." And that's exactly what I'll do, regardless of the circumstances and how often I might relapse, because the drugs aren’t going anywhere. They will always be there waiting for me. So what have I got to loose?

In an effort to stop using opiates, I've immersed myself in “unhealthy activities” to replace my addiction. I smoke between one and two packs of cigarettes a day and also vape nicotine. My diet includes two bowls of ice cream daily and frozen pizzas, along with the occasional candy bar, and I'm constantly surrounded by screens, whether it's my phone or TV streaming.

The good news is I'm not getting high, and I actually feel better than I have in years, but I know this is unhealthy and is probably going to have consequences down the line.

What has been your experience?

Hello,

I am a 39year old self medicating alcoholic. Can have sober bouts, then something triggers it and back I go.... Recently had a massive blow up fight with family and know I cannot go on like this. I need help for my past traumas and what leds me to have these explosive drinking fits.

I am looking for a duel diagnosis treatment center that would be willing to work with me to get insurance set up (in most Medicaid expansion states, you can get it rather quickly), offer scholarships, or any type of financial options.

I am located in New Jersey, but am not opposed to going anywhere for treatment as long as it fits what I need. I have a couple thousand dollars I could put down.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in adavance!

Title says the basic summary, i quit using fentanyl around october 12th. Dont remember why but since then i felt like i made alot of progress, the 2nd week i felt much more free and fullfilled, i was going outside alot more, meditating, pushing myself to create art, using my phone alot less, idk what happened but i feel like ive slipped into old habits the past week or so, its been boiling up for awhile but i feel the same as i did when i was snorting fentanyl from when i woke up to when i went to sleep. Ive been online way more to my detriment, been in bed way more, and i cant tell if my eatings become more or less organized (im in remission from an ed). I think alot of it is the isolation, its hard for me to meet people. I live in a cold, unwalkable, dead town in the upper midwest so most peoples hobbies that i meet are either sitting on their phone all day or drinking. I have no friends near me now because all the ones i had to cut off due to them enabling me, or they left me when i was constantly fucked up. I feel so bad for not creating art too but even finding the motivation to leave my bed is hard. I feel my body ache from my stasis and i feel so guilty for letting myself fall back in. When i first got sober i was going to enter a program for my bpd but opted against it because during that time i realized i was looking for something else besides myself to help me out. I still dont know if it would help but im reconsidering a bit now. I think my enviorement plays a big role but i cant change it. Sorry for ranting, i know this basically went nowhere and i apologize to anyobe who reads this but if anyone could share any similar experience or advice or anything id be glad

So, my wife has been on 1mg of clonazepam once a day at night for about 2 years and her psychiatrist is going to start slowly tapering her off of it. From your experience, What are we in for? And, what can I do to support her?

The house that im at had spoke with me about potentially having me manage in the next few weeks. I moved in and they put me into the manager room which seems like theyre going to follow through with asking me to help out in that capacity. This isnt a super structured house but it is a working house. They offered me $100 off of $1k rent to mange this house and I cant help but feel as though that’s exploitation to some degree and as though im being taken advantage of as a women in early recovery. I also feel confident in knowing I have a lot to bring to the table given that I’ve managed in the past. What’re your thoughts around this?

I’m back. Can’t find original post so here is an update from my last post about losing myself and my husband’s friend. As well as my #1 accountability partner from day 1. He was involved in a fatal car crash, a semi crashed head on in to the vehicle. We got sober together. We graduated IOP and MRT together. He was my confidant and I his. So I’m already so deep in to grief it’s almost unbearable.

On Friday, none of us had heard from our other friend since the previous week. He was detoxing himself from alcohol. And he died. By himself. Alone.

And, this may sound trivial; I found out about an hour ago that my cat was hit by a car and passed away.

I talked to my recovery coach and have been going to at least one meeting a day through this whole process and have been journaling. It doesn’t help.

Nothing. Is. Helping.

I just don’t really know an outlet for all the grief and rage and unjust situations except to use. I just need some advice.

26 days sober. Used for 6 years with short periods of sobriety here and there. Probably fucked up my kidneys in the past few months using tons of benzos, alcohol and speed...

I'm 21 and feel like I'm fucking 80 years old 🙃

This is fucked...

Day 1. Went to AA with tears flowing, immense sadness, regret, and gratitude. I needed to be there. Not gonna lie i truly feel rock bottom here. I am filled with such dark feelings and sadness. I am angry at who I’ve become. I dug this hole myself, and i want so badly to get out. So I’ll try each second. I cannot depend on even the minutes or hours. But I will give it my all each second. I will not drink, this second. And pray the time keeps going.

I'm in the process of searching for a rehab program for a 13 year old girl. We've been having severe problems with her over the last two years and have tried every other option. She's been drinking immensely, using large amounts of marijuana, and doing any drug she can get her hands on including overdosing on a muscle relaxer and stealing opioids from multiple people. She's been expelled from 2 schools in the last year and is currently homeschooled, but she won't do any work. She has a long history of self harm and suicidal ideation and is known to be sexually actively with multiple boys.

I'm looking for any good recommendations in South Carolina, North Carolina, or Georgia that would take someone as young as her. I'm very worried about unknowingly putting her in a abusive program, so programs with personal experience would be preferred. Thank you all in advance.

I'm clean and sober for 12 years , for the last 7 of them I haven't worked the steps. I don't know where or how to start. If anyone is willing to help, please dm.