/r/calmhands

Photograph via snooOG

r/calmhands is a community based around kicking the habit of kicking compulsive habits such as nail biting and nail picking. The goal of the sub is for you to be able to share resources, photos, and accountability with a lovely community that wants to do the same. Together we got this!

Hi and welcome to r/calmhands a place where people go if they want to learn to be calmer in order to stop skin picking, nail biting, hair pulling or other nervous habits they have by examining what gets them started in the first place, trying to stop and forgiving yourself when you give in.

All healing contributions are welcome! Anger expressed at other users, off topic jokes that don't directly relate to healing, posts that are negative that don't directly relate to getting better will not be tolerated.

Here are some guidelines for this subreddit:

1)Please Block and Report trolls. It will not be tolerated.

2)Please write the words "trigger warning" or "picture trigger warning" if you are going to write graphic and descriptive details about your habit or post a graphic picture. (Possible flairs coming soon).

3)Please post your story about how you developed the habit you have and if there are any times you remember stopping yourself. You are brave for posting.

You are a human being and you are beautiful since you are alive. Everyone has weak points and makes mistakes but you can overcome them! Even with red spots, bald spots and bitten nails you are beautiful and you can do amazing things with your body!

Please post your experience with telling others about your habit, as some habits like nail biting are more “mainstream” than others like skin picking. A lot of these habits hold power because they are done in secret. Remember the people who care about you should listen if you find a good time to tell them and ask them to listen and not comment. Hopefully they will give you a hug too.

Related Communities

  • Compulsive Skin Picking - A forum focused on a form of OCD called Compulsive Skin Picking.

  • Trichsters - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.

  • Trichotillomania - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.

  • OCD - A forum for people with any type of OCD.

  • Anxiety - A forum for anxious people

FAQ*

  • Why did you guys start this community?

/r/Calmhands is a community to be able to connect with other people who have the same issues you may have. We believe that it’s easier to stop a bad habit when you’re got a group to help support you along the way. Through support each other our goal is to help stop bad habits whether it’s nail biting, skin picking, hair pulling, etc.

  • What are body repetitive behaviors?

Well, there are a lot. Trichotillomania and dermatillomania to name a few. Those include things like cheek biting, skin picking, nail biting, etc. These are related to OCD but are not OCD and so typically require a different type of treatment.

  • Well if it isn’t OCD but related, what treatment will help?

Well there are a ton of different treatments. Things like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical therapy, hypnosis, NAC amino acid, etc. Here in the /r/calmhands community we focus on being your cheerleaders and the best support group we can be.

  • I feel I need more help, where can I get that?

Well we have some for you. Check out our addition resosources section below, it’s an ever growing list that anyone and everyone is welcome to message the mods to help expand. In the list below each resource will be described in a bit more detail.

Additional Resources

  • The TLC Foundation for Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (www.BFRB.org) is the major US organization that funds research for a cure, hosts training sessions for treatment professionals, and provides support for the community. They also host an annual conference and have a listing of hair salons and therapists on their website. It was started in the 90s by a hair puller, Christina Pearson.

  • Heart & Soul Academy (https://hasacademy.org/) - Christina Pearson now runs Heart & Soul. She has focused more on integrative health strategies and how they can help us all heal. They hold an annual retreat.

  • www.CanadianBFRB.org is a Canadian-based org primarily focused on building awareness and supporting the community. Their blog has many useful tips. This is volunteer run. Please reach out if you want to help them!

  • www.PickingMe.org is a foundation started by a compulsive skin picker for compulsive skin pickers. Their goal is to build awareness through outreach to treatment professionals. They also provide support to support groups.

/r/calmhands

53,880 Subscribers

7

I Want to Get Better

Hello. I just joined reddit, and this is my first post, so sorry if things are formated strangely. I have been a nail biter my entire life. I have tried for years to stop biting my nails: Painting them, wearing mittens, bitter nail polish, etc. Sadly, the people in my life aren't the kindest about my nail biting habit, and so I can't really turn to them for advice. But I want to get better. I have a goal. My girlfriend wants to start painting my nails, and I want them to be long enough to where she can paint them, while still keeping them decently short (I play instruments). So, I guess: How can I keep myself from biting my nails, when nothing else has worked? Thank you!

2 Comments
2024/05/20
04:47 UTC

2

My nail keeps ripping at the cuticle?

This has happened to me so many times, I actively have two nails fully ripped off, and one that ripped just now. Totaling 6 nails that have done this. I know it will just grow back over time but I pick at it so it takes longer, and I can’t just walk around with medical gloves or something. Any recommendations would be a blessing, thanks

0 Comments
2024/05/19
23:30 UTC

6

Healing process for going to a nail salon

Hi !I'm new here I've got a really bat habit of picking my skin when I'm stressed with my nails or nail clippers

I do it until there's too much blood and I do this to most my fingers and the parts that are slightly healed are currently red scars; some of my skin is lacking, a bit deformed and sore.

I'm not sure how many days I should wait for it to be safe to go get my acrylic nails done. Should it be completely healed??? Cause I don't think I can hold myself back from doing it for that long Also I'm embarrassed to go to my nail artist with messed up fingers.

2 Comments
2024/05/18
22:57 UTC

5

Nail biting tips

I have a really bad habit of biting my nails and I want to stop. I’ve considered buying the clear polish that tastes bad but I’m a chef so I’m constantly wearing gloves and washing my hands throughout the day. I also bite them a lot while I’m driving. Any tips or tricks would be helpful. Thanks!

2 Comments
2024/05/18
03:28 UTC

1

Has anyone tried these types of products: Picky Pads

I’ve been getting so many ads for these different brands all selling this type of product. Has anyone tried them and can share their experience/results with me?

0 Comments
2024/05/17
18:34 UTC

2

Advice on newer picking habit

For some background, I have KP (keratosis pilaris) on my arms and thighs and have had it my whole life. When I was younger I developed the habit of picking and squeezing at the KP bumps. I also had the habit of biting my nails for the longest time, which I stopped a couple years ago due to it starting to warp my nails and file down my teeth. Along with me not biting my nails, I also toned down the picking on my arms and legs and turned to healthier ways of treating my KP. The only habits I had after that were occasionally picking at my scalp and chewing the skin around my fingers. I was happy with my picking progress up until recently.

In April of this year, I was involved in an accident that caused a fracture and compression of my tibia plateau. I had surgery for it where I got titanium implants to fix my leg, but the healing period is 3 months of putting zero weight on my leg. In other words, I'm wheelchair bound and unable to walk until mid July. Since my accident, my picking habits started all over again but worse. I've been picking at my stomach, my scalp, the KP on my arms and legs, and more. It's gotten to the point where I decided to trim my nails really short in order to prevent myself from doing further damage, but I don't like doing that. I think the cause of my "relapse" is the stress of going through a traumatic event and having my life turn upside down because of it. I also have diagnosed anxiety and ADHD, so the very little stimulation my brain is receiving from being basically bedridden probably doesn't help.

I've been looking into getting fidget toys or something to keep my mind and hands busy, but I wasn't sure if there was anything else I could do to prevent my picking problems? Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated! 💛

0 Comments
2024/05/16
14:57 UTC

7

what's worked for me

seeing the missing thumbnail posts recently have reminded me of where I once was vs. where I'm at now, and wanted to share the things that have worked for me, personally.

  1. anti anxiety meds. pretty self explanatory, but my anxiety exacerbated picking and when I got it under better control I picked less!

  2. NAC supplement. one of my doctors recommended this bc it supposedly has some evidence supporting it being effective on ruminative thinking and behaviors like skin picking, and I honestly think it's been really helpful. maybe it's the placebo effect, but it's worked for me.

  3. press on nails. press on nails not only cover up my natural nail, making it impossible to pick at them, but it also gives my nails less strength to pick at cuticles or my face.

good luck everyone!!!

7 Comments
2024/05/15
21:30 UTC

9

Girls, do you feel a stronger urge to pick during PMS or on your period?

Hi,

My hands are looking crazy right now, and I’ve noticed a pattern where I pick more during PMS, which makes me think hormones play a part in this.

Have you noticed patterns of skin picking during your cycle? Days where you pick less and days where you pick more?

How do you deal with these days where the only thing that helps is peeling skin?

3 Comments
2024/05/15
21:03 UTC

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