/r/calmhands
r/calmhands is a community based around kicking the habit of kicking compulsive habits such as nail biting and nail picking. The goal of the sub is for you to be able to share resources, photos, and accountability with a lovely community that wants to do the same. Together we got this!
Hi and welcome to r/calmhands a place where people go if they want to learn to be calmer in order to stop skin picking, nail biting, hair pulling or other nervous habits they have by examining what gets them started in the first place, trying to stop and forgiving yourself when you give in.
All healing contributions are welcome! Anger expressed at other users, off topic jokes that don't directly relate to healing, posts that are negative that don't directly relate to getting better will not be tolerated.
Here are some guidelines for this subreddit:
1)Please Block and Report trolls. It will not be tolerated.
2)Please write the words "trigger warning" or "picture trigger warning" if you are going to write graphic and descriptive details about your habit or post a graphic picture. (Possible flairs coming soon).
3)Please post your story about how you developed the habit you have and if there are any times you remember stopping yourself. You are brave for posting.
You are a human being and you are beautiful since you are alive. Everyone has weak points and makes mistakes but you can overcome them! Even with red spots, bald spots and bitten nails you are beautiful and you can do amazing things with your body!
Please post your experience with telling others about your habit, as some habits like nail biting are more “mainstream” than others like skin picking. A lot of these habits hold power because they are done in secret. Remember the people who care about you should listen if you find a good time to tell them and ask them to listen and not comment. Hopefully they will give you a hug too.
Related Communities
Compulsive Skin Picking - A forum focused on a form of OCD called Compulsive Skin Picking.
Trichsters - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.
Trichotillomania - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.
OCD - A forum for people with any type of OCD.
Anxiety - A forum for anxious people
FAQ*
- Why did you guys start this community?
/r/Calmhands is a community to be able to connect with other people who have the same issues you may have. We believe that it’s easier to stop a bad habit when you’re got a group to help support you along the way. Through support each other our goal is to help stop bad habits whether it’s nail biting, skin picking, hair pulling, etc.
- What are body repetitive behaviors?
Well, there are a lot. Trichotillomania and dermatillomania to name a few. Those include things like cheek biting, skin picking, nail biting, etc. These are related to OCD but are not OCD and so typically require a different type of treatment.
- Well if it isn’t OCD but related, what treatment will help?
Well there are a ton of different treatments. Things like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical therapy, hypnosis, NAC amino acid, etc. Here in the /r/calmhands community we focus on being your cheerleaders and the best support group we can be.
- I feel I need more help, where can I get that?
Well we have some for you. Check out our addition resosources section below, it’s an ever growing list that anyone and everyone is welcome to message the mods to help expand. In the list below each resource will be described in a bit more detail.
Additional Resources
The TLC Foundation for Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (www.BFRB.org) is the major US organization that funds research for a cure, hosts training sessions for treatment professionals, and provides support for the community. They also host an annual conference and have a listing of hair salons and therapists on their website. It was started in the 90s by a hair puller, Christina Pearson.
Heart & Soul Academy (https://hasacademy.org/) - Christina Pearson now runs Heart & Soul. She has focused more on integrative health strategies and how they can help us all heal. They hold an annual retreat.
www.CanadianBFRB.org is a Canadian-based org primarily focused on building awareness and supporting the community. Their blog has many useful tips. This is volunteer run. Please reach out if you want to help them!
www.PickingMe.org is a foundation started by a compulsive skin picker for compulsive skin pickers. Their goal is to build awareness through outreach to treatment professionals. They also provide support to support groups.
/r/calmhands
55,939 Subscribers
Thumb shrinkage
Hi I went from biting my nails for years to biting the skin around it (finger tips). I did this for a long period of time and it made my right thumb smaller than my left. I stopped biting for 3 months and it looks normal now, will I ever get my thumb size back?
16:35 UTC
FILE YOUR SKIN
still working on quitting/healing.
the recommendation to use oil multiple times a day and EVERY TIME YOU WASH YOUR HANDS (and EVERY TIME YOU WANT TO PICK DO THIS INSTEAD) is spot on.
but i wanted to shout out something that has been essentialllll for me too: use a fine glass file to FILE YOUR SKIN where it is dry and ragged. the dry bits that you want to pick at? gently file them smooth. i use these files and they work great: https://montbleu.store/product-category/nail-files/sets/
i am MUCH LESS likely to pick at my cuticles/fingers when i keep the ragged/dry parts filed !!!
i also am finding that keeping my nails cut and filed extremely short is helping with the initial healing period where the temptation to pick is the greatest. i also try to keep multiple coats of polish on them to "dull" the sharpness. but the shortness makes them do wayyy less damage when i (inevitably) fuck up a bit.
good luck everyone
02:19 UTC
How to stop this from being damaged any further
I have a plaster on it now but what else can I do?
21:45 UTC
I just don't know how to stop :(
I've been biting/picking my nails and toes for as long as I can remember. I pick at whatever I can. The nail, the skin, the cuticles. Sometimes I'll pick my lip skin. My mum does it too so I think I picked it up from her as a child. It's a big source of embarrassment for me and I've tried to stop so many times. I've had even tried cbt to break it. The most I've been able to go without picking is a week tops and then something will trigger me (or I'll go on a night out - I always pick my hands badly when I'm drunk) and I'll crack. I can't even wear sandals in the summer because of my toes. I'm at such a loss as what to do now because a, my nails are so sore now and b, it's really starting to affect me mentally, but I can't afford therapy and the NHS waiting list in my area is around six months. Therapy is really expensive in the UK and I'm learning to drive too and can't afford that on tops. Does anyone have any advice for someone who is trying but finding it really hard to stop? I have had acrylic nails in the past and that would help but it's just another expense I don't want to splash out on and part of me also wants to tackle the issue head on. Whenever the acrylics would come off I'd just pick again so it just wasn't really a longterm solution. Please help :(
11:42 UTC
Progress
After 23 years of making my fingers bleed every day, I've finally gone almost a whole year without it! I'm very proud of myself, and I've really gotten obsessed with painting them lately. It makes me very happy whenever people compliment my nails now, knowing the struggles I went through.
Anyways, I know I didn't really talk here, but reading the posts here really helped encourage me! I hope everyone here finds the things that help them most on their journey!
16:15 UTC