Venting is a part of SMART Recovery.

In the SMART Recovery Handbook, under the "Tools and Techniques" section, there is a discussion about the "ABCs of Emotions." This section highlights the importance of identifying and understanding one's emotions, as well as the thoughts and beliefs that contribute to them. It encourages participants to express their emotions in a healthy manner, rather than suppressing them or reacting impulsively.

And yet a recent post that I made where I expressed my emotions in relation to an event that happened to me was deleted within seconds of being posted because it did not relate to SMART Recovery.

I would like a better explanation from the mods.

I've attended a handful of different ones, and I want to hear from anyone who'd like to share what their typical meeting experience is like. Thanks!

97 days ago I quit drinking. I’ve tried to really explore ways to do this that will give myself the best shot. I do AA, SMART, and started therapy at Kaiser. After lots of research I knew that CBT was what I’m after therapy wise but kept getting the runaround from Kaiser until eventually they put me in the addiction medicine department.

I’m working with a guy who I’m liking less every week. I don’t feel like I’ve received a single insight or tool to help from him as our sessions just feel like “how’s AA going?” Check ins and hard sells (even though I go on my own and need no selling). Let me be clear, I really value AA, but it’s definitely not something I need health insurance for. I’m looking for research based stuff from my doctors that frankly is a gap left for me with AA I need filled.

I find in recovery circles people tend to be biased towards whatever program they worked and are closed off to other paths. I’m not a perfect AA attendee as I consume very small, infrequent amounts of weed and I’m unconcerned and unapologetic about it. It’s never been problematic for me.

Although it’s been six weeks since I had half a gummy this guy still brought it up several times during my session today. I had two major ruminating life issues in my brain really stressing me out and I never felt like there was a window to talk about it. I definitely wasn’t asked about how I was feeling. Just “Love that you’re doing AA, but you better quit weed”.

I know the obvious answer is just “get rid of this guy!” But I feel really touchy about it because getting in with anyone at Kaiser was a nightmare and I can’t afford this without my insurance. I also take adderall and have a weird feeling if I left he would recommend that prescription change. I feel trapped. This also feels kinda stupid after typing it all out lol.

It's Family and Friends Friday!

We often feel frustrated and resentful when our Loved One doesn't meet us when they say they would, or when we don't know where they are, or when they borrow money from us and don't pay us back. Instead of sitting with those angry feelings, we can set a boundary.

The F&F handbook tells us that boundaries are guidelines "to define what we feel are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around us and to treat us." The handbook also points out, on page 73, that boundaries can help us to build a healthier relationship with our Loved One. Sounds like a good deal, yes?

So how might we set a boundary? We can calmly use the Inform Request Inform method suggested in the handbook:

Inform: "I feel annoyed when I make plans and have to change them at the last minute."

Request: "Can I ask you to text me if you are going to be late, please?"

Inform: "If you are not willing to text me when you are going to be late, I will need to go ahead with my plans."

It's simple and brief, it clearly states what we would like to happen, and what we will do if that doesn't happen.

Have you set any boundaries with your Loved One? Would you like to share them with us?

Hello, I have been mandated to attend 52 weeks of substance abuse treatment by the courts. I have already completed 27 weeks, 24 of which were MAT. (I am no longer medicated) The company I went to, Groups Recover Together, dropped their Nevada patients and now I need to find somewhere else to do my meetings. Has anyone here used the SMART weekly verifications as evidence that they are attending substance abuse counseling? Group therapy is accepted, that’s what I’ve been doing the whole time. So why would this be any different? I just want to make sure before I waste my time and find out it won’t work. The courts said as long as the facilitators are trained in substance abuse treatment, it should be fine. Do the verifications have the facilitator’s information on them in case the court decided to contact them and verify my attendance??

I am neurodivergent & experiencing an overwhelming amount of stress. I’m emotionally dysregulated & in nervous system activation. The Enemy’s voice is screaming in my head and I know it’s a lie. I know I’m not really alone but I feel very isolated. Any advice and experience with avoiding (alcohol) relapse while enduring extended periods of trauma/crisis. One of my biggest challenges is dealing with being in Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn and de-escalating my own extreme response. My hands are shaking so badly I can barely type right now. I think a connection will help as much as advice, too. I’m in a place without community at the moment. I’ve been visiting these threads for a while but haven’t written yet, so…. Haha, I suppose I should say hi first. :) Hi, all. I appreciate being here and learning more about managing my recovery process. Thanks in advance for sharing.

For some context: I haven't touched my DoC for 41 days and I'm having a lot of sadness and overwhelmed feelings. Still talking my antidepressant/antianxiety meds and exercising a little every day.

Does anyone have a suggestion about where to start with SMART? I've been to a meeting; it wasn't my favorite but I can see how it could be helpful for some.

It will take a lot of determination for me to sit down and fill out a worksheet, so I'm wondering what has been most useful to you all.

Thanks!

One of the hardest things I’ve had to do in sobriety is live without the chaos I had grown so accustomed to. I still struggle with that feeling from time to time. Living a life of order is stressful. I was used to doing what I want when I wanted to do it, with absolutely no fear of any consequences that could come after. Now, I have to follow the rules. I am trying to live differently. That’s what this program is all about right?

Living differently is easier said than done. We lived in a hole buried under narcissism and vices. Our tendencies aren’t going to change suddenly because we decided to get sober. We need to build ourselves from the ground up. We need to change our thinking, our habits, and our view on the world.

I’ve said this before. We have to start by bringing some small acts of discipline into our lives. Think hygiene, cleanliness, organization and reliability. These things alone won’t help create the energy we’re looking for. We need to put our energy into SOMETHING.

When I get restless (which is more often than not) I journal, go for walks, and hit the gym. I’ve also recently started volunteering on my days off. The point I’m trying to make is that I’m pouring all of this restless energy into positive habits and hobbies. When it comes down to it, we have two choices. We can Wallow in boredom and self pity or actually take advantage of the opportunity we’ve been given.

These are not replacements for meetings, sponsorship and spirituality, but they are solid replacements for the chaos we’re so used to.

Went to my second meeting tonight and opened up a bit more than I did at the first one. The intense vulnerability of opening up even a little bit in front of complete strangers is nerve racking but everyone is supportive and that makes it easier.

Glad I found this program.

4months clean. DOC: anything possible. i stumbled upon one of the substances that i didn’t have a bad experience with and i picked it up. i can’t care im excited to use only this time. hah said every drug addict. i feel like shit for picking up. i took someones in need medication. now if i dont use it it will go to waste. i feel immoral. i took someones in need medication. selfish and i couldn’t care or i pretended not to. i couldn’t help it. it took over me i didn’t care to fight it. if i go on it will fuck up things with this guy i care about. he cant find out. no one can find out. i got to hide it. let the shame back in.

Namely, the sort who rejoice in being easily offended, and who make a sport out of reporting both facilitators and their fellow attendees

Any ideas as to what we do about such folk are more than welcome

For nine months, I've abstained from alcohol, yet I still see myself as an alcoholic. Recently, I turned to CBD, but now it feels like it's becoming a crutch or even another addiction. Can you offer some assistance?

Hey, any advice on getting into a national online meeting? Last few times, I get the pop-up that the participant count hit 300 and to try later. I’m kind of bummed. Is this normal? I haven’t been in a few months.

Any suggestions on other good online meetings (and links) I can try?

I guess i just needed to admit it, i guess i realized recently knowing and admitting are two different things. Im drunk as im writing this right now, i have to go to work in less than an hour. I started not dribking at work, but now; fuck i cant imagine going one shift without drinking. The worst part is, for some reason i dont want to quit. I should, i have every single reason to want to. But there’s something holding me back, its probably my own trauma, I need to face it. I just dont know how, i feel like it would be easier if i could just address the awful things that happened to me, its really not hard for me to forgive people. Its the awful things ive done myself, i don’t know how im ever going to forgive myself. Sorry if this was totally incomprehensible

Hey y'all. I'm an escaped American out here in the wild blue yonder. Why the heck is SMART so segmented and not interconnected by international accessibility? The app and she website seem to make it difficult for no obvious reason. The main SMART page doesn't even seem to link to the international page(s). Once you get to the international pages, formatting and page design is.. high variable in design and quality. Some don't exist anymore or have Zoom link or... seem to function really at all.
What gives here? This intuitively seems like it should be more inclusive and complete in design. I must be missing something.

I'm not sure if there is an actual term but I am currently in Friends and Family but now I want to explore my own habits around drinking and playing video games/being online.

I love my FaF group but I am nervous to be honest that it's not just my partner that has issues. I feel like I needed to start my recovery in FaF to understand how my own habits are holding me back.

Does anyone have any online meeting suggestions for me? I'm hoping the facilitator will have some experience with people in both programs. I've tried to go to a few 4 point meetings that were either full, defunct, or required cameras. (I'm shy). So I haven't been able to attend yet! Any help appreciated :)

Ok so I started smoking crack a couple of months ago since sniffing on and off for 20 years. I quickly noticed that I was craving smoking it more than sniffing it on my fortnightly 2-3 day benders. My last one was 3 weeks ago and I told myself it would be the last one.

But for the last week I’ve been planing a bender this weekend…putting bicarb and pipes into my Amazon shopping cart etc, even calculating how much I’m going to spend ordering from my plug too and how much I’ll have left over to pay bills! Telling myself, yet again, this will be the last time I will use, so I’ll go out with a bang and get half an oz in (twice as much as I would normally use)!

Total insanity! Firstly lying to myself that I can afford such a bender, and most importantly, forgetting how shit I felt after the last one…telling myself it was the last!

This time I’m trying something different. Venting my thoughts on here and in my sober app before I do something stupid! I still can’t remember how bad I felt after the last time but just writing this has made me realise how non sensical my thought processes actually are. I don’t want to give into the repeating cycle of “this will be my last” again.

Anyway thanks for listening, I just had to get this out of my head and be honest about how I’m really feeling. I’ve been to some SMART meetings the last couple of weeks and will be sharing this tomorrow. Any tips would be appreciated and it’s great to see some good sobriety reading through the posts!

This is the latest publication by SMART Recovery. I am sharing the link for the benefit of those who are not subscribed to their mailing list.

https://app.getresponse.com/view.html?x=a62b&m=B27wzL&mc=Ce&s=a6pTgR&u=BO1mO&z=EFCqtvw&

I’m starting to notice that I am confused about the hula hoop rule. I mean, I am aware that I don’t control anyone else (heck, I can’t even control myself), but if I just accept that, then when do I ever stand up for myself?

When people mistreat me (I am talking about objectively harmful behavior, not just boundaries) I am not sure what if anything I should do. Usually when this happens there is a power difference with me on the short end. So it’s rare that I even have the option of holding someone accountable and/or being made whole.

You can’t fight city hall, and this is even more so with respect to corporations that have expensive lawyers. I feel like I need to stand up for myself, or I give them license to do the same to other vulnerable people. OTOH, it feels like I am tilting at proverbial windmills. Just wondering how people apply the hula hoop rule in these situations. Yes we have to accept that the injury happened, but does acceptance mean that I simply move on without doing anything about it?

Last time I smoked was yesterday. Today I am having a hard time, I don’t want to but the urge is killing me. I usually smoke 3-4 joints a day, and trying to just give it up all at once is extremely difficult. I’ve done it before but only lasted a week and then I got right back at it. I am trying to stop for my health and because I’m becoming more mature and don’t want this to be part of my life.

Anything helps.

On Tool Tuesdays, we take the opportunity to learn new tools from the Handbook together (or refresh our memory). Today we are focusing on the DEADS tool (Delay, Escape, Avoid/Attack/Accept, Distract, Substitute).

Although it can be difficult at first, distracting yourself is one of the best ways to get through an urge. When you're actively doing something, you're thinking about that and not the urge. The more you refuse to give in to urges, the less frequently they occur, and the more quickly they pass.

What distractions are (or may be) helpful to you? Here is a list of distracting activities to jog your memory.

Hello everyone,

Tomorrow is the first day of May, and if you'd like to join a group of people working at sobriety, you can join by using this link to post https://www.reddit.com/r/SMARTRecovery/comments/13mjdy4/who_wants_to_join_me_for_a_30_day_challenge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

The idea is to go 30 days alcohol free and use the thread to check in every day, to get support, to ask questions about what works, what helps, what to read, etc. It's good to have a group of people doing the same thing with the same goals.

There are other ways to get to this thread too, because sometimes it's hard to find the link again. I'd suggest "saving" the link, or putting 30 day challenge into the search bar. It's also listed with the "check-in" posts.

I hope a lot of you would like to join. You can join at any time it doesn't have to be the first of the month, the date just makes it easier to count if that's what you want to do.

Hope to see you all soon on the thread!

Have a lovely sober day!

Are there any good SMART meeting in Columbus Ohio that people recommend?

I'm ready for change. I've been in the precontemplation/contemplation stage to long. I want to take action and even if I'm nervous I need to do something. I have some questions though.

1. Is it okay to have cam/mic off for my first meeting? I want to kind of see what it's all about first.

2. Are there different kinds of meetings?

3. Is there anything else I should know before joining a meeting online?

I hope this is okay to post here. I'm so nervous but I can't live like this. I need help. Doing it alone isn't going to work for me.

tl;dr - What do you do when someone shares something in a meeting that may be careless towards others' addictions and/or can trigger an urge?

I'm still somewhat early in both my own recovery and sobriety, but I've found SMART Recovery meetings to be INCREDIBLY helpful. I'm often the only (or one of a couple) self-identified gambling addict, but the overarching shared experiences of addiction and recovery is still relatable and helpful. However, several days ago I joined a virtual meeting that clearly had a lot of return participants who were familiar with each other... full disclosure, I'm going to air brush some of the specifics just in case anyone present at the meeting reads this.

It was my first time in this meeting and I hadn't yet introduced myself or checked-in, let alone identify my addiction. But, during one of the earlier checkins, a man talked about what a great time he had gambling at a casino while maintaining his sobriety (obviously, he meant from alcohol/substance, not gambling). He got into some gambling specifics—again, as a POSITIVE EXPERIENCE—which started to trigger the fuck out of me. From my POV, it would be like someone saying they had a great time on a wholesome bender and that they're proud they didn't gamble while enjoying their intoxication - yippie!

Because it was Zoom, I could tell that the facilitator was trying to chime in (kept going to her screen), so I ASSUMED she was going maybe reel it in a bit... but, nope, she actually made some silly remark (I think she threw in a gambling pun) about how fun that sounded and good for him, etc. I thought about sending the facilitator a DM, but I knew a different virtual meeting was starting soon, so I just left. I feel a little bad about just dropping off, but by this point my hands were shaking and I was pretty put off by it all.

I've been thinking about it a lot and it occurs to me that because most people in SMART meetings aren't talking about gambling, I'm not often faced with potential triggers like how I was in this meeting... but, I imagine that for alcohol and substance addictions, which inherently come up more often, what some people share may (of course, unintentionally) glorify an addiction and/or be triggering for others. Is it just part of the recovery experience or should you do or say anything to mitigate the trigger... or just ask for some sensitive consideration?

It's Family and Friends Friday!

One of the things we talk about a lot at Family and Friends meetings is the unhelpful messages we send to ourselves:

1. If we try to have a conversation with our Loved One (LO) using PIUS, and that conversation stalls, we might find ourselves thinking "I failed again."
2. If our LO slips, we might think "I should have taken them to rehab."
3. We might also catch ourselves thinking "If they loved me, they wouldn't engage in their addictive behavior."

These thoughts are not helpful and might prevent us from moving on with our SMART work. In order to challenge our thoughts, we can first identify them as being unhelpful. Then we can go to this tool (fillable on your device).

Using this tool, we can ask ourselves if our thoughts are true/logical/helpful. We can work on replacing our thoughts. So for the examples above, we might replace our original thoughts with:

1. The PIUS conversation didn't go too well that one time. I did manage to use an "I" statement, though, and can try again soon.
2. It isn't in my hula hoop to take my LO to rehab. My LO is in charge of their own recovery. I will work on providing positive experiences when my LO is not in their behavior/drug of choice.
3. My LO does not engage in their addictive behavior because they don't love me. It's not personal. I will try to understand what benefits they see in their behavior/drug of choice, so that I am better able to help them.

What changes do you think you might see if you decide to challenge your unhelpful thoughts? Have you used this tool in the past? Was it helpful?