This might be a rough post but I’m just tired of having no friends and doing everything by myself, shits actually so depressing. I’ve been trapped in my house since Friday due to a snowstorm and not one person has called or even texted me, it’s just been me and my dog. On top of being stuck home alone for 2 days my girlfriend decided she was leaving me on Wednesday cause I showed interest in joining the army. Ok my rants over just feels good to get somethings off my chest.

I just don't get how people wake up feeling well rested and excited to start their day. Like how?! I wake up every day at 5:30 and I DREAD waking up in the morning because then I have to get up and go to school all while feeling stressed and burnt out. Then once it's time for me to go to bed I dread about how I have to do it all over again and that causes me to stay up thinking about which results in me getting less than 6 hours of sleep every night.

Also, isn't it insane people genuinely don't think about killing themselves? I have thought about suicide throughout my entire life and it's insane to me that there are people who don't suffer from that.

I feel like a complete failure. I just vented to my best friend about what a fucking loser I am after realizing I’m actually failing organic chemistry. I’m so exhausted of trying genuinely. I don’t have many close friends especially not at this university and I’m not smart enough to be here at all. I keep trying to find a reason to hang on but I can’t because I feel so utterly worthless. I don’t like the way I look- with acne, braces, and recessed chin. I don’t like the way I act- so afraid of being perceived as a bad person so I shut off my negative emotions. I’m not even a good person of faith because I feel like such a failure of a human being. I feel alone even when I’m home because it’s been so long and it’s like I’m observing from the outside in. It’s exhausting. I’m so tired. I just want to be loved for me, not the facade I put on. I miss the girl I was as a kid who loved life, activity, and had such big dreams to be apart of this world. I miss the girl I was as a teenager who had her issues but could always lean back on friends and family and still felt some level worthiness. Here I am alone and a burden when surrounded by moments that are supposed to be happy. It sucks even worse because I did make friendships here that all went disastrous leading me to cut them all off. I’m so so exhausted from trying to love myself and care for myself with all this shit. I’m tired of crying so bad, trying to be better, then failing. I just want to feel that passion for helping and connecting with people again- not as an inferior but as an equal person.

I (16m) can’t get myself to do anything I enjoy. I play guitar but I just can’t bring myself to pick it up anymore, it hasn’t left its case in a few weeks now. I do rock climbing every week but have no motivation to do it and only drag myself out of bed so I get some exercise. I have friends who are great people but I feel so distant from them. I talk to them all daily but feel like I’m completely alone. I can only ever force myself w do homework before mindlessly scrolling. I don’t even watch videos I like anymore, just things to bring me closer to sleep. I don’t want to kill myself but I feel there’s nothing in my life. I can’t even say I feel worthless. I know my parents are proud of me, I have good grades, I go to a good school. But I just feel unnecessary. I always feel this way around winter, but it fades so slowly. By the time I start to feel better winter is already back. Just a few weeks ago I felt ok, now I just don’t. I know I’m going to feel like this all winter. I know it will last all year. I just want to know why I can’t feel ok.

I have no justified reason to feel this way. On the surface life is good, probably great. But the last few months I feel like I just can’t keep faking it. I don’t need medicine or therapy. I just need to be happy again. Nothing I ever do is good enough. No matter what I achieve I’ll never be content. I’m not suicidal or anything like that. Just constantly frustrated at my inability to feel fulfilled. I’m scared. More than anything I want my kids to be happy and live life with a purpose and meaning. I’m not sure how to teach them that when I have trouble figuring it out for myself. Sorry for my ramblings. I’ve got a thousand thoughts racing through my mind and feeling a bit scattered

hung out with old friends on friday, some of the only friends i have....came away from it feeling so depressed. i've known them for 20 years, since we were teenagers. I feel I have nothing in common with them anymore. I don't feel I belong with them. I was quiet because I had nothing to say that would make sense to them. They're all married and have kids and have money and status . I'm single and childless and poor and am nobody. we were all stupid boys once. but now i'm just a depressing mentally ill person they invite out of pity or history or something...they don't ask me questions because they don't want to know about my life. maybe i should read the writing on the wall and realize that the friendships are over and i'm alone.

I been off and on but now I can’t take it anymore my mental health has gotten worse I hate how social media shows me the negative side of it and brings me down I left again for the 4th time this year I don’t know if I even wanna go back but the friends I have on there are the ones who keep me on but I feel like shit even typing this out

I’ve felt like I’ve been nothing but a burden, like I don’t matter. Since I was around 7 or 8, I’ve been dealing with pain and confusion that I couldn’t even understand at the time. I've always felt alone, never fully understood, and like I keep screwing everything up. Suppressing my feelings only made things worse. I was just a child, trying to make sense of a world that didn’t make sense to me. How was I supposed to understand any of it when I was 7?

My anger is rampant, my anxiety is paralysing, my sadness is imesseurable. My fear of this being who I am for the rest of my days is beyond words. Does it get better? Will I recover?

Like the title said, I can’t keep going. I graduated highschool in 2023 and was only supposed to take one gap year due to my poor mental health. That turned into two years and honestly it might turn into three. I’m currently taking 4 online classes for 3 hours a day that will help me get into uni, but my attendance is horrific. I have severe digestive issues and have gained 5kg in 2 months (My BMI is about 19, but I used to be naturally very skinny). I look so ugly, and don’t feel like a girl anymore, just some disgusting fat blob. I’m pretty sure I have an eating disorder which includes both binging and restricting. At this point, I don’t think my life is worth continuing. I’ve been depressed for 3 years now, but had anxiety years before that. I’ve had suicidal ideations for 2 years and almost did it but my mother stopped me. I feel so sorry for her and wish that I’d never been born so she didn’t have to deal with me. I can’t do anything remotely difficult and spend my days laying in bed and watching films to numb myself from reality. I still search for ways to cure this illness, but deep down I know I will be leaving this earth at my own hands. My existence is embarrassing and I’m a burden to my family and society. Therapy doesn’t really work for me because every therapist I’ve says things like “That must be hard” and then I just sit there and say nothing because what am I supposed to say to that. All in all I don’t see a future for myself, I’m done for. I wish I could get just get assisted suicide.

I moved to the US 5 years ago.. been married for 8 years to an American. My husband doesn't want kids so he keeps making excuses to why we shouldn't have them "now".. I'm more worried about his excuses being actually valid because I can't find a job, especially in this area that we moved to about 5 months ago, I don't have healthcare, we don't have a house and nowhere near being able to afford a house, he's constantly trying to go to strip clubs "even after I made it very clear it is a boundary for me and I consider it cheating". He said the only way he wouldn't go alone is if I go with him AND enjoy myself at the same time so he has a fun night. He works late hours daily and sometimes comes home after midnight because of project deadlines. He works with many females, mainly engineers and once we were arguing and he said he didn't care how I feel because he works with "people way more intelligent than I am". I am fully financially dependent on him because I have been applying to every job in the book and not one call back, aside from scammers and spam callers. He's a great guy but I feel he has zero respect for me since he brings in the only income and is constantly comparing me to the women he works with who have carrers and make so much money. I am very lost and can't begin to think of a way to pull myself out of the deep despair I am living in. I know, I know.. " Find a job.. don't be financially dependent on anyone.. don't let him treat you that way"...

I have tried everything! I have 2 college degrees but next to no job experience! I am so tired of feeling like a burden.. I hit rock bottom months ago and don't see a way out! Please tell me it will all be ok!

i’m 20M, from the uk. i just got out of college a few months ago. i quit my job about two months ago due to long-term, unexplained sickness (i have a suspected rheumatoid condition). i cannot get another job despite my ruthless searching and it’s killing me. i’ve struggled for years with mental health issues due to PTSD (survived a mass murder when i was 12, really). i’ve attempted suicide twice in my life and i honestly feel i’m at the point that i want to end it all. i really don’t see myself getting any further in life. i have dealt with depression for years but this is the absolute rock bottom. the light is not coming and it really never will. i don’t know what to do anymore. i’m having zero luck anymore and i feel like the world just wants to see me fail and wants to see me gone. i don’t know what to do. i’m fed up and im done. i’m never going to be any more than this so what the fuck is the point?

It's like everytime my life becomes OK for like 2 days God himself makes sure to make me experience the most horrifying backbreaking thing ever to bring me back to the pits of hell. Everyday and every month is worse than the last to the point where every month I feel nostalgic for the last month because it was ever so slightly less painful than this one. I'm nostalgic for days that were slightly less bad as this one.

Can someone list me any important things they would like to hear themselves if they would read such a letter?

Or something that is very important to be mentioned?

Its a letter to close family which i havent seen in basically 7 months because i have been traveling.

I am going to sit down for a week and write a comprehensive explanation, as best as i can, because i mostly have no idea what i want myself to be gone.

Any idea/inspiration is appreciated, thank you.

Please don't comment anything about how life is worth living and that they will miss me, i appreciate that, but unfortunately at the point i am at i cant be bothered with that anymore.

This is hard to write I have to put it here because I have no one to talk to about it I go day by day not talking to anyone and spend most of the day trying to fight my head because it doesn’t stop talking I have no friends at all I have social media with no one on it it’s just me all the time I don’t feel much haven’t for the past couple of years so I drink a lot and when I do it helps me feel all the emotions that’s why I love it so much without it I don’t feel nothing and my head always wins I tried speaking to the doctors and I’ve been on a lot of medication but nothing seems to help guess I’m just posting this to get it off my chest it’s been building up for a while and I’m not sure what to do I don’t know if many people go through it as I don’t really talk to anyone to find out if they do or not

this is hard to put into words but i just feel empty like a shell of my former self i used to be so full of life now i just sit in my room i cant even cry anymore im just so sick of everything i feel like giving up its not like my life is even that bad so i feel guilty about everything if i mess up i feel like a failure im just better off dead

Hi, i met this girl (20yo) recently. She is a great person and everything but sometimes i dont know what to do with her. She had and still has a hard life. Her dad was a drug lord. 10 years ago police raided her house and arrested her dad before her eyes. She was a little child when this happened but i belive that it left a scar on her. He got sentenced to i think 8 years in prison. He was home for about two years and then he was again sentenced to 7 years. So she sees her dad through prison bars basically her whole life. Her mum recently got breast cancer which she will recover from i think but iam still worried about her health because she smokes. Me and the girl had a very long and deep talk. I always knew that there is something in her head that i do not know about and she finally told me. She told me things that she never told nobody. Not to her sister, mother, friends or previous boyfriends. I value that so much and i am determined that i can help her. It feels wierd. I feel like I have the duty to help her. I just have to discover how. She told me about her problems and i will list them here.

1. She told me about her intrusive thoughts. When she looks at someone she sometimes starts imagining that she would hurt that person or do something bad to the person. She said that sometimes she imagines that even with her family.

2. Sometimes she jokes about suicide and scary stuff like that. I always tell her how can you even say that and stuff like this. Or she used to watch videos of people being massacred and other scary stuff

3. She is not like other ,,normal” girls. She has a beautiful girly room with makeup and other girly stuff but on her shelf are displayed bullets and above her makeup table is a shot through shooting target from a shooting range. Her car is a loud old BMW and sometimes she behaves like a boy. She definitely isn’t lesbian though.

4. Her mother scolds her for not knowing how to clean and cook and care about household but the girl told me that her mother never taught her anything. When her mother scolded her, the girl ran to bathroom and cried.

5. She has a problem to talk about her feelings, she worries that she will be not good enough for me and she cannot stand any criticism. She also worries that people will leave her and stuff like that.

6. Her two previous boyfriends were jerks. One was abusive and the second one also. The second one was psychotic, screamed at her and cheated on her with a boy;). She is scared from relationship.

Now she is leaving for military school for 6 weeks. What a weird thing for a 20yo girl. She says that she wants to go to iraq with military and that honestly scares me. I wonder if the absence of her father had any impact on her. I know that it had big impact but i want to get to the root.

When she was younger she used to hurt herself by beating herself to her head and stuff like that. About a half a year ago when her previous boyfriend who i will beat the shit out of was screaming at her she broke her nose with her own fist.

Me on the other hand is a different case. I come from loving family we always had enough money and i never had any real life struggles and i live pretty happy and fulfilling life.

My goal here is to help her. I want to show her that the life is not so dark. I want to get those thoughts out of her head. I want her to experience what a loving and proper family is. I want to teach her the things that her father couldn’t. I do not care if we will break up or shit like that. I am used to that. But i see a little girl lost in her problems because her parents failed their role. This is the first time that i feel real duty to someone. If her mother dies, who will take care of the house, her and her sister.

What should i do with her? She has so much problems, she says that she cannot turn of her mind so maybe some kind of ADHD? I dont know. She opened up to me like to nobody else and I have to help her. I am not afraid of me going down with her and falling to her problems. I am bulletproof to that. I see her problems like a math problem that needs to be solved. Should i seek her professional psychological treatment that her mother never wanted to get for her? I feel like she is silently screaming for help.

I've been dealing with depression for a while, and I've been doing therapy and taking meds, and I really focused on myself and on getting better in the last year. I am currently unemployed (looking for a job) because my last work environment really fucked up my mind. As a result of these two things, I discover that I enjoy doing so many things, I have so many hobbies and I have so much fun with it. And now I am feeling so anxious and overwhelmed about the fact that when I find a job, I will have no time or energy to spent time on my hobbies, and I'm so scared of falling back again I feel so frustrated, and I feel scared, for real

i love a boy, ive loved him for over a year, he has never felt amything towards me, he doesnt even talk to me now but i still text him everyday. hes bipolar, and i know this is kinda messed up to say, but amything that has to do with bipolar (shows, songs, people, etc.) i have to avoid or else itll remind me of him and it makes me feel so bad for everything hes went through, i love him, how do i stop loving him, is the only way to end my life??? im sick of living like this.

Has anyone ever tried supplementing with L-tryptophan as an alternative to SSRI'S for depression and anxiety? I just started yesterday and it feels exactly like an SSRI. Wondering if anyone else has had any good experiences with it.

I’ve been struggling with depression for a long time and have tried various medications. Right now, I’m on my second sick leave in three years, and I feel worse than ever. I recently started therapy and am trying to work a few hours a week to reintegrate, but nothing seems to help. I hate myself for being this way and I feel that I’m wasting everything life has to offer.

I am from the Middle East, specifically Egypt. I loved a girl deeply for five years, but due to the difficult living conditions and the extreme challenges of marriage in Egypt, we ended up breaking up. I felt like a failure and treated her poorly. However, after some time, my life improved significantly, but I couldn't find happiness with anyone else. Every achievement in my life feels empty without her. I miss her encouragement and her smile when she used to say, "Well done."

So, I decided to reach out to her and try to get back together now that I am financially stable enough to propose to her. But when I contacted her, I found out that she is now in a relationship with someone else.

At this point, I feel like I have no reason to continue living. Unfortunately, my religion forbids suicide, but I've started engaging in reckless and dangerous behavior. For example, yesterday I rode with a friend who drives insanely and illegally. At one moment, we were about to have an accident, and I closed my eyes, fully prepared to die, but sadly, I survived.

I'm sharing all this because I just needed someone to listen.

When I sleep it’s the only moment my brain shut. I want to sleep forever . When I wake up in morning or during middle of night or whatever im sad again . My brain dont let me one second and immediately overthink . Put me in coma forever.

I've been depressed for years, and now I have no hope left in me. I don't feel like trying because I'll fail eventually again. And being happy is meaningless anyways. I don't really find any pleasure in life, I don't have a desire to be happy or enjoy anything. I don't have a passion or dreams. For me, not even in a sad way, I wanna die. Nothingness seems way more appealing, death is what I'm waiting for, not life. I don't even feel a need to be happy or get a specific job. I'd rather die now than later. I mean nothing is stopping me. It's not like i'm super sad and something bad happened to me. I just don't see a meaning in waiting.

lately im askin myself, when is life not worth to living.

And we're currently, temporarily living under the same roof (for context) Little brother sleeps all day, never eats. Mother is trying to titrate down off of medication and it's making her "blue" ie she takes ten naps a day and doesn't have cadence in her voice. Dad binge eats- other than that, he's functioning. I came back to visit and now I feel unable to be depressed myself because I need to rally everyone for basic tasks. Guess it's a positive and negative situation for my brain. Anyone else been here?

Hi there, I’m not shure what am I aiming for writing this.. but here I go: I was diagnosed with skin cancer in a bad state which also spread to one of my lymph nodes. Been doing oncologic treatment since a year now.

Al my life is kinda rough, even though I had caring parents. I always struggled with learning and finishing what ever project or hobby I did. Got bullied, had a lot of fake friends taking advantage of my friedliness (also had good one though).

After 10 years of music business if quiet as I couldn’t take the toxic environment anymore and was constantly poor. Got an education in IT, which I barely made it through and my depression spiked through that period. All while having a toxic relationship for 4 years. She was a sweat heart but borderline. The constant fights where soul crushing. I ended the relationship during this year as I couldn’t handle the fighting on top of my cancer treatment and all the misery I felt. Hardest year of my live.

I’m constantly alone when not at work, which is often for multiple weeks, as the side effects are to strong. I feel like I completely lost any motivation to go on. My live is just one series of failure, one after another. Sometimes i archive something like my IT education or becoming a music producer, DJ.. only though it all can collapse a little while afterwards again.

And now this diagnosis. I’m completely shattered. On top of this taking a look at this world and it’s news, nothing is changing. People are still hating each other because they want more then others have. War after war we don’t seem to learn out it. It will prob never change.

So what’s worth living for? I just watch YouTube all day, order food and don’t wanna go outside. (Also pretty nasty loud big city where I’m living.) I will not kill my self, I don’t have the guts to do that, guess I still have some survival mechanism going on. But I literally waste my live away.

Anyway thanks for reading. Hope your all find peace and happiness in this crazy world ✌️

I've been up and down since August, but the past three days were really good. So I was confused when today just sucked. Then I remembered that my baby died on this day two years ago. I've been watching the day coming but kind of forgot, but subconsciously I knew. And I'm bleeding pretty heavily out of cycle, which is a horrible memory. And the main woman who was like a mother and helped me the most to survive is no longer around, and I can't talk to her. I ate some sugar, took a long nap, now have to eat something so I can take my meds, but I really just don't want to. I'm so sad.

I had a therapist tell me that I was subconsciously in love with my mother but fearful of my father. That because of this I had a sexual dysfunction problem and would be better served by seeking out the services of a clinic that specializes in that….wow. She was able to divine all that in one 45 min session. I went there for depression, btw. Lol!

i genuinely can’t. i am going to lose it