It is hard! But you can totally get through it I promise! Things happen that there is no ryhme or reason to it...my husband passed away in 6💓12💓24. 1 month shy of 16 years. He was my life literally. He was the best! I'm not gonna lie I am 35 an I am still lost when I wake up everyday but I woke up for some reason. I was also diagnosed with end of stage liver disease. I'm not whining I'm just saying it is hard very hard. But you gotta be stronger than a stupid substance that let's face it doesn't taste very good controls us makes us a totally insane. I have decided I am better than that! Thank for reading! Hope anyone reading this is ok an I very very much wish you well!

IWNDWYT! 🥳

Hi, I’ve written a few times here about my little brother (21) and his addiction.

He tried to commit suicide last year and that’s when we found out he does drugs. Ever since, we’ve been trying to be supportive, taking him to therapy, making sure he takes his antidepressants every day. We continued to advise him to try and quit and we’ll help him in any way, we offered the best rehab centre in our city. He joined boxing for a bit then stopped going.

He would get high maybe once every 2 weeks. But now, it’s every week. He even did it before his drs appointment, and when I met him at the hospital, he was completely out of it in public and had to be wheeled out of the hospital. He has no memory of that incident or why he did it. He stops his medication for days cuz he takes drugs and is usually passed out for 3 days after.

My family and I really tried to support him as much as we can, but he continues to challenge us and make things worse for himself. He leaves the house and stays out overnight at friends and comes home drugged out. My dad tried to kick him out cuz of this. Yet, he always says “ i didn’t do anything, I didn’t take anything”. We haven’t been giving him any money at all for months. But his friends are always picking him up, ordering him Ubers, and handing out pills and weed.

All he does is lie and break promises. He’s rude to his parents and does whatever he wants. He’s breaking his parents heart over and over again. No amount of tears will move him. I even showed him videos of himself drugged or passed out and he just laughs and says that’s funny.

Lately, He’s been taking lulu and thc. He also used to take Xanax, benz..

I’m so lost. I don’t know what more can I do. I can’t keep having him walking around the house drugged and with no control or respect to his family. I have a 12 year old brother that I would like to shield from all this. I need your advice.

How long until THC leaves my body completely??? I heard it stays on your hair for 7 months or some shit someone said that they even have a shampoo for it but idk just asking because I have a really important job offer coming up and they will drug test me and I don't want fuck this up..

My boyfriend is a newly recovering alcoholic. He is almost two months sober and doing a great job.

I’m worried that he has the “strong silent type” mentality though, and isn’t venting about any struggles. I’ve encouraged him to reach out to his brother or best friend or myself if he’s feeling like he needs some support.

He said he doesn’t feel like he’s accomplished anything. I reminded him every day he chooses not to drink his a huge accomplishment that he should be proud of.

This is new ground for me, I’ve never been with someone in recovery and want to be as supportive as possible.

I’ll make it a point to celebrate his monthly milestones and tell him often that I’m proud of what he’s doing but I was curious to hear from someone in recovery what kind of gestures and things like that were encouraging and motivating for you in your recovery.

Thanks for any and all advice!

Feeling dreadful day by day. No weight loss, no change in energy levels, no change in mood - actually, worse mood now because I don't have a social life since social anxiety is so overwhelming and I don't have any tools to overcome it. Haven't hung out with a single human aside from my husband since January 1st, and I don't feel like doing anything. Not even sober activities like going to museum or art shows or cafes which are something I enjoy in theory. I feel like I lost my one access to being a fun person, and now I'm just tedious and neurotic.

I’ve been trying on and off to be sober and I just don’t have a handle on it right now. My plan has been to take naltrexone and do the Sinclair method and have some wine while taking the medication to eradicate the addiction. A friend texted me and asked me to go to a concert on Friday and I instantly went into ‘drinking mode’, I just poured Prosecco down my throat and had several more glasses at the concert. I had fun, but I also went to far with a guy there and we kissed. Saturday was partly spent in bed and yesterday I had so much anxiety that I just drank again. I also went crazy in my head and started planning running away, drinking etc. I’m a mom and this is all just crazy. On Wednesday I’m supposed to go to dinner with two girlfriends and I don’t know what to do…take naltrexone and drink only a couple of glasses..? Not drink? I’m scared I’ll get there and suddenly it’s 7am and I’m puking in my toilet. I’m sorry, I just had to get this out. I’m scared of this fucking addiction. I want to be healthy but the pull to drink is really strong.

I literally crave to smoke weed so much. It just doesn’t go away. I’ve been feeling this way since December 2024.

I feel like such a failure because this feeling is constant and I don’t know how to fix it. I wish I didn’t feel this way. It’s so daunting to feel like I NEED to smoke weed.

I feel so guilty if I even get into the habit as my boyfriend, family, and myself are all rooting on myself to get through this; but fuck it’s constant.

I’m eating to try and get my mind off of it, but I don’t want to use food as a coping mechanism to my brain wanting to smoke weed /:

I used to smoke weed 6-7 times daily mind you and I started when I was 16 and stopped when I was 24. I would smoke before school, during my class transitions, when I got back home, when I woke up from a nap, after I ate/before I ate, before I left the house to do anything, when I came back, when I was stressed, when I succeeded at something, when I wanted to watch a movie, when I wanted to relax, when I wanted to go to bed, and anytime I just felt like it. I was going through 1 ounce a week or less.

I’m glad of where I have come as my current boyfriend would not have tolerated this type of behavior, but fuck it’s so daunting how badly I want to smoke and still have chosen not to, because I plan on marrying this guy and I don’t know how he would react to even smelling or being around any type of drug especially when it’s coming from me.

He knows of my problems and I tell him when I feel this way, but he tells me “you don’t want to ruin your lungs”. Which I feel bad bc that’s such a generic reasoning why people tell you to stop smoking. You’re not thinking of the act of ruining your lungs nor is it that important when you’re in active addiction. It’s the least of your worries. Though I can say I haven’t used my inhaler daily since I stopped smoking and I’m grateful for it. The consequences just aren’t that bad when you’re craving the action of smoking/being high

Idk I can really use some encouragement and some alternatives you can help me with.

I forgot to mention I think this is triggered as my psychiatrist stresses me out as he psychoanalysis me to the tea and he wants to do an analysis for CPTSD and BPD and this is stressing me out so badly /:

It’s so easy to fall back into old habits, but the life I have now is too good and I don’t want to give it up for weed as I had 8 years with it and can benefit for reaching 8 years sober, but DAMN these cravings are strong

I made a post recently about my need to get sober. I drank. I figured I would. I work in the music industry for those recommending I change careers. I can’t. I love my job. And already am blessed enough to be involved in the industry.

I’m tired but I know I need change. But change feels so real backbreaking distant.

Well I guess midnight has come so a year and a day now. Seems like it's been a long time since I was binge drinking and letting it ruin my life. Onto year 2. Then onto the comma club. Let's keep it going everyone.

As a guy in recovery from immense drug and alcohol use (5 months clean yahoo) I feel like when I cum it's kinda weird with how I feel emotionally after. Sometimes after 1 it's fine and how I felt after cumming all my life. But sometimes I'm anxious and I feel like it messes with my OCD symptoms and meds a little bit. Had some meds moved around and have lost some weight (mirtazipine is a bitch happy to be off it) and now I'm super horny so I can blow multiple nuts. And everytime It's this constant roulette feeling of I might need to compulsively crack my neck for a bit or I feel a great sense of relief like taking a shit. I feel like it's some weird brain chemistry stuff going on. Can anyone relate? I apologize for being crass. Just one of those late night questions you know?

I just want to share a bit about myself. I've been a daily drunk for the better part of 15 years. I've had stretches where I'd give up drinking my longest streak was 5 months. I really need this time to be better. Everyday after work I would, stop and grab a tallboy 6 pack and polish it off in front of the tv. On my days off I would splurge and get a 40oz of whiskey and polish it off on the weekend.

Pretty much every morning I would wake up with regret. I would accomplish nothing, what a waste of my life. I've pushed away pretty much every friend I had, because at the end of the day I would be "happier" drinking by myself.

Towards the end of last year I would notice that my intake started ramping up, I was getting more depressed, and I decided enough is enough. Thank you for reading I just wanted to put my story out there.

My husband is a badddd alcoholic. We’ve been married for 10 years and he’s been sober the last year which I’m so proud of him for. The first 9 years of our relationship was absolute chaosssss. Legal issues, financial, you name it he put us through it. To add to this chaos he was (just retired) a police officer and has severe PTSD which of course fueled the addiction. Now that he’s sober and out of PD I find that he almost is looking for chaos? Like making mountains out of molehills, everything will be going great, we meet a major goal of ours and then suddenly he’s so depressed, unmotivated, tells me has no purpose, omg it’s just really hard for me to deal with this chaos and drama for 10 years now. Is this normal during recovery?? He regularly sees a psychiatrist and therapist.

I never thought I’d get this far. KEEP. GOING.

I’ve been sober from alcohol for 3 years & 6 months. you see I live in the US and we’re kind of fucked depending on what side you’re on so I don’t really see a point in staying sober anymore so it’s either have fun for a little while longer or be murdered in the streets, when things go south or detained and tortured & never seen from again. I. really don’t see what other options there are. My brother says that it will be an only temporary fix but if its all going to shit, it doesn’t matter anymore?

Bout a case of a beer a day atleast for a while there. I do kinda miss drinking but I think my life is improving without it.

I luckily never physically hurt anyone but my actions while drinking definitely affected others both directly and indirectly. And I did kill someone, myself; twice.

I cost myself a life I was pretty content with. Someone I thought I wanted to spend my life with. A job I really really appreciated.

But these things are all just positions, or stations in life, kind of like being an alcoholic. It's a transition, or a chapter, it's not your story; only a part of it in fact.

It won't let me add a photo but I felt like sharing something anyway. It's like they say, corny as it is.

Today, is the first day of the rest of our lives. We've got this :)

As of writing, I am four days into my third major attempt at a teetotal journey, which I'm certainly sure could be my everlasting. I was starting to get very out of control around alcohol and was waking up hungover, sore all over and very guilty, but would immediately do it all over again the next night.

Around December and into January, I was drinking an average of 40-50 pints of Guinness per week. I'm not sure how high or low an amount that is compared to what others have gone through, but it's worth keeping in mind I'm 5'0", 100lbs and have major health issues that I had been slowly losing a grip on, as it was all being compounded by my alcohol dependency.

Now, I had attempted this before in late 2023 and lasted around two months before it became apparent that the 'cold turkey' approach wasn't helping. I have a mechanical heart valve for which I take blood thinners, so consistent eating and drinking habits are very vital for keeping things running smoothly. My sudden abandoning of alcohol threw a spanner in the works and wreaked havoc on my body because I was very unprepared for the effects it would have.

However, four days ago I decided to take that same approach again and this time I'm feeling far more confident and secure as I've been in touch with the nurse that keeps me in check with the blood thinners and such, and have been discussing ways to keep my INRs (measures the time it takes blood to clot and liver function) stable with substitutes to soften the shock from the abrupt abandonment again.

I'm thankful that I've got a good ring of support around me from family and friends that are rooting for me along the way, and figured I'd share my experience and journey here. I know things may get rocky at some point, but for right now I'm feeling very bright and optimistic for the future.

I got sober about 2.5 years ago and recently relapsed. Today is day 2 again and I've been so angry at the idea of getting sober. I'm going to college and i know if i keep going I'll screw that up and screw up my whole life but i hate being sober. Life is so hard and it just keeps getting harder and i never feel better than i do when I'm using. It's the only time i like myself, it's the only time i feel happy and can laugh freely. I've been treated for major depressive disorder for 14 years now and so far treatment is only keeping me from killing myself.

I feel angry at my family for being upset with my addiction, i feel angry at my parents for giving me the addiction gene, i feel angry at myself for picking up again, i feel angry at school for getting in the way of my using, i feel angry at the government for the clusterfuck that's going on right now, i just feel so so angry. And i want to use so badly. I went to a meeting today and all it did was trigger my cravings and rage. I just want to hit something. I don't know what to do

I had one of the worst weeks with losing my job (forloguhs due to the extectuve order) and instead of drinking I actually turned to something healthy (gym, praying and reading) I don’t think six months ago I would have been able to handle it like I did now. I’m just sharing because I’m proud of myself and I hope someone else who sees this and is having a bad day/week realizes drinking won’t make it better! Sometimes you really just have to push through and rely on other coping mechanisms. #IWNDYT

Hey community. I just wanted to post and say that I’m still “on the wagon” so to speak from my last post, it’s been maybe a week or so, but also man oh man it feels like my brain is waking up to my past actions and I’m experiencing so, so, so much shame. It’s mine to work through, and mine to carry - I deserve it. But a lot of the time I’m just teetering on the edge of abject self hatred. A lot of times I spill over. Maybe people will say let it go but that seems impossible right now. Maybe some people will say work the steps, apologize, etc, but I can’t apologize to all the people I hurt or might’ve hurt for a variety of reasons. In hindsight it’s clear that it is this shame, or the fear of it, that has kept the cycle going. The addiction is the only thing that made the shame go away, even for a little bit. And now I’m just left sitting in it, with the self hatred getting worse every single day.

I found a couple of books on shame, and I’m reading them, but I can’t relate just yet to anything. The shame I feel is self inflicted, it is the result of my own awful actions. By all accounts I think I deserve it, but I don’t know how to reconcile that with the fact that I have to wake up every morning. I don’t really know what to do.

The main thing that I've noticed is that it keeps getting easier. I've built new habits, am rarely tempted to drink anymore, and can barely remember my old lifestyle. It's beginning to feel like a distant memory, and I'm thankful for that. Wishing everyone the best.

https://youtu.be/W-XARL7K-fo?si=5eXVtrc36veEi_80

Been sober for a bit over 4 years now and have been wanting to make this for a while. I've shared it with some friends who have also lost loved ones to addiction and it seemed to move them. Hope this might possibly move someone here :)

I just hit my 4 years alcohol free. Wrote a little bit about it:

Addiction is a mf'er and it doesn't always look like people thinks it does. It's a reliance on something, a craving unwilling to relinquish it's vile grasp, a crawling under the skin that makes you want just one more of whatever your poison is. It doesn't have to be every day, it just has to be something that when you feel that need, the need doesn't go away until you've satiated it.

Today is the end of my 4th year being alcohol free and start of my fifth. I can't remember my first drink too well, I was around 7 (can't remember my age precisely, it's a long time ago now). It wasn't an pint of beer, not all at once anyway, it was a pub crawl with a group of irresponsible adults who shouldn't have had me in their care that day (or probably any other) who saw fit to let me sip from their drinks until I was incoherent, dizzy and ill from the amount I'd had. I don't remember the walk home, don't remember being dropped off, I vaguely remember the headsplitting motherfucker of a hangover that I had after an epic 12 hours of sleep. I used to joke that I'd only ever been drunk once, problem is it's lasted [years between age 7 and age at the time] so far. Totally stole and butchered that joke from Bottom. I used (still do) jokes to mask inner pain and scars that won't heal and I used alcohol to do the same. It quietened the inner voice that told me I was too shit to live, that I didn't deserve any of the good that came my way and that I wasn't worthy of any happiness at all. The problem being, those voices come back and louder, and as I got older, I suffered more with every hangover, mental health in the sewer and beyond. I can't really pinpoint the one thing that put the brakes on the years of self-abuse, but I'm not going to mourn the former self that had no stop button, and made all the worse for a fondness for one, two, six, eleventy-three drinks too many.

I can't unpick all of the awfulness that preceded giving up the bottle, mending all of the fences that my drunken hurricane of how ever many years it was has shattered, If I tried, I'd drive myself crazier than I already am. I don't aim to fix the past, because I can't, instead I just aim to be the best version of myself in this moment and all the moments I have left.

I've come a long way, and I've got an even longer way to go, breaking the chains that held onto me for so many years. Beginning the journey that I'm on is one of the best decisions I've ever made. I still struggle every day with the voices in my head that give me all of the abuse, and I don't medicate with alcohol anymore, so they don't get quiet, but I'm also strong enough now to give them two middle fingers and tell them that off is the direction in which they can F.

I'm happy and proud to be able to give this improved version of me to the people who need it most.

I'll never give up, and I'll never give up giving up, because I've been there, and I hate that guy

I can't end an extremely long and emotive post without some song lyrics. From "Made It This Far" by Chase McDaniel:

We can't turn back we've made it this far, there's a little more beat in our broken hearts. From where we've been to where we are, we can't turn back we've made it this far.

One thing I've come to understand is that moments of boredom may and will fill up your time. Ugh. It can be difficult to just take a deep breath and let those normal moments pass, one's that would be filled up with a drug or substance, or simply and easily a hit of nic or such. I wonder what anyone else does when they feel bored other than my two strategies; most commonly I just wait, and secondly I'll try to focus on my breath.

At times I do think, maybe I should have a drink, smoke (weed, cig, vape) or poppa-pill... but I know that's not what my mind wants... just my body and impulsive thoughts that want to lead me there.

Yes, life can be boring at times and maybe instead of fighting the feeling, which I've realized you can't do, it's best for me to realize that boredom is a part of sober living. It's part of the bigger picture and part of what allows me to achieve what I want, peace, clarity, God. It's been so long I forgot what sober living was like so it feels like I'm experiencing it for the first time.

It's easy to say that I didn't drink or smoke when I look back, but in the moment it's a struggle and I truly don't want to relapse. It scares me actually. Not so much the one time relapse but what I could lead to. What is really terrifying is the facts that the difference in me going back to my old ways, habits, or the trenches where that vacancy grew from, is on me... It's also pretty nice. Thank God.

Any advice or words to connect with would be lovely. Cheers.

Ps.

I'm sure you think I'm British because I said "Cheers" and "lovely" but guess what... I'm not.

Then I had a couple of beers for my birthday back in October. Since then I've progressively drank more each week until I'm here today drunk and stoned. Tomorrow is Day 1 again.

If you’ve gone through recovery, I’d love to hear your story in the style of the Big Book.

How did alcohol impact your life, what was your turning point, and how has sobriety changed things for you?:

• What was your life like before sobriety?

• What was your ‘moment of clarity’ that made you decide to stop drinking?

• How did you find AA (or another recovery path), and what was your early sobriety like?

• What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned since getting sober?

• How do you maintain your sobriety today?"*

"You can share as much or as little as you’re comfortable with. Anonymous replies are welcome." - Thank you, (397 days)

30, male. I've been in the program for 11 months and had a couple relapses that were short and impulsive. My girlfriend of 5 years landed a 6 figure job in the sports industry so we are taking the plunge and moving in a week. A.A. has saved my life. I don't work a perfect program but I've been open minded and learning alot. Looking to find good meetings in the durham and raleigh area.

Hey everyone,

I just hit 30 days sober after doing Dry January, and I’ve decided to keep going with the sober lifestyle. However, I’m struggling a bit with boredom and frustration. The past few weekends, I’ve still been going to bars with my friends, drinking Red Bulls, and just socializing, but I find myself feeling disconnected at times.

For example, today I went out to lunch and then bar-hopped with my friends while staying completely sober. But now, I’m back home alone and feeling really frustrated because I don’t know what else to do with my time. I recently quit my job and am planning to move to Austin, Texas, for a total restart and to get away from the crowd I used to hang around.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you handle the boredom and adjust to a new social scene while staying sober? Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

So after therapy one of my best sobriety tools has been medication. Well, there is a national shortage. So, now I get to see what all of my therapy, habit setting, psych tools, and support have bought me during this time while I’ve not been distracted by cravings.

It does not matter if I have medication or not at this point. I will not drink. I’m never going back to that life.

Hi everyone. I travel for work doing a construction job. I’ll be in a place, in a hotel normally, until my part of the project is done, so for months on end. Im 24, have no girlfriend, my family is scattered all over the world, and my childhood friends are my biggest support system. I have been on the road since mid October and I’ve only had a few days at home between projects. It is true that substances quell the loneliness of an empty hotel room, and I’ve been sober on and off for about a year, but I spin out of control when I’m on these jobs. Usually I have to be high all day everyday at a certain point. However, I feel more committed now than ever. One week in to being totally clean but the depression is gnarly. Can anyone give me any tips on how to combat this? Thanks.