Hi everyone! How was your day?

30yo man. Schizoaffective + addiction. Interests: meditation, guitar, music, nature, sobriety, NA meetings whatever lol. I'm just bored i can chat about anything.

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

So this is something my dad tells me there's no point in even trying because "they'll figure it out". Part of me is afraid he's right. But I'm pretty sure he's also done this in the past. I know he basically just lied put far less effort than I did to make it real, yet still managed to find higher-level employment than I plan on doing with this...

My plan, right now, is to get my business incorporated and act as though I've been doing it all this time. There is a whole bunch of tile and stuff in my basement. I don't know if it belongs to our landlords or the people who owned the house before them. I'm strongly hoping it's the former, because finders keepers. That's stuff I can sell to a contractor and make some money. I got tons of paint down there too (though it's very old) and, as I have mentioned on here many times, several projects that I started but never got close to finishing. That's kind of a greater theme in my life, actually...

What's amazing is that even though our kitchen sucks, the landlords apparently don't wanna redo it... my dad said our landlady only wanted the cabinets painted? Cabinet painting is what I want to specialize in with my business... it's the most construction-y thing I can do without any certifications. We re-did our kitchen twice and easily could have painted the wood cabinets when my mom decided she wanted it white cause "that was the new thing" at the time, lol.

I also said I was gonna do some painting for my best friend L (the one I've been slowly trying to convince to let me move in with her... and her house NEEDS it). I've got two guys we worked with who I can get to help me. Everything will be on the books, legit... and it won't interfere with SSDI.

However, if this is a part time deal, I do need an ACTUAL job on top of this...

So I've taken into account with what ifoundxaway said about getting a job at Home Depot and Lowes, because not only is it related, but it would be great for networking. I'm gonna have to bring my business into The Real World eventually. I think that might be the way I do it.

But I'm not all that concerned they'll be looking into my history once they see I'm self-employed? I just don't want a hiring manager to look at my resume and think... KNOW... "wow, this dude didn't do anything for YEARS?" We're now coming up on two years since I both graduated college and had my last job, so it's mostly the time since then I'm concerned about. I don't think they wanna know about the actual work I did over this time, seeing it was all in therapy-land, lol.

In all truth, what do people do in situations like mine? I KNOW this happens... though honestly, I hadn't grown up the way I did, I might not have even realized how common this was. My entire childhood I saw both my parents sit at home unemployed for YEARS at a time, only to bounce back a year or so later after something came through, and go back to work like it never happened. I'll admit, I've since learned MANY things about my childhood were... unique? Lol. But I really don't think this one was.

On another note, since all my IDs are missing, and I'd have to pay for a replacement "non drivers license" ID, I'm thinking about just saying fuck it and going for my license anyway. I found out you can do the test online now?! Just gotta have the money and I'm ready...

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

So. It's my Decade Cake Day today. Or yesterday? One of the days this week, I think? I guess Reddit is gonna be around for a long time. And amazingly, this whole time, it's stayed so much the same... oh yeah you all know I still use Old Reddit, right? Love it.

So I'm sure it will be the same this time next year, at which point we are officially pissing Ireland People off for not letting them move in. Landlady wants to move in that May, I'm not sure what the date is. As far as I know she didn't give us a lease or anything?

But I don't want it to go down that route because after all this time, I'm so happy that what was supposed to be only two years ended up turning into 6 1/2. And the best part is that I now have something of a relationship with the oldest two sons in a family that I've known of for decades. Other than that one family, I feel SO disconnected to my hometown. Well, I still get to hear about my sister's high school narc "best friend" (the one who made the first month of my senior year of high school hell, also she didn't take a pic with my sister but made sure to take a picture with MY DAD...

Long story short, the family that took us in has been amazing. And if I can do anything in my life right now, I am going to try to make this transition as easy as possible for everyone involved.

I'm actually thinking of including volunteering to paint the house for her... if it's JUST for my own portfolio, I AM starting a business. And while the walls were painted when we moved in (by the same guy who sold it) they could definitely use it right now.

Hell I'm literally thinking this shit up as I'm typing it right now. I got so many options when it comes to moving out of this place. I almost dismiss them in my mind for reasons I'm now starting to question... the whole thing just seems so self-defeating. Why do I continue to do this to myself?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi you guys, sorry this is so late. Halfway through the month. What are you working on this month? Feel free to list what you've already accomplished!

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMixedNuts/s/0NbiKICwJZ goals post

I just realized I never made the April goals post or this one so here we go. What did you get done in March?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Hi everyone! How was your day?

Neither my dad nor my sister have ever been interested in anything I've said about starting an LLC for my business ventures and plans to rent warehouse space. Everyone thinks my best chance is to stay on disability until I get The Full Package (including my own government subsidized apartment) and not do anything to risk losing that, after all that's what I was "supposed" to do when we sold the house...

The truth is, we were presented with this house and my dad told me he needed the help, we ended up here 3.5 years longer than we were supposed to, he took advantage of me, the end. Now he denied me the chance to go to my own sister's wedding (though as the bride I think it's safe to assume she was the ringleader of that.) Nothing will ever be worse than not allowing me to see Aunt R when she was dying of brain cancer but taking my sister when she came up, then telling me he "didn't have to" after that because "he already did"... it didn't matter that I had just lost my own mom and I was her favorite (she made no secret of this) but because HE already went, in his mind he didn't "have to" again?

I hate that I'm at a point where these are my choices in life right now. But I was completely left out of my sister's wedding plans since "she just assumed I couldn't afford it" and had my sorta-gf massively insulted for "not meaning anything to her". I told her that I'm not like dad, who just sat there while Aunt D would treat mom like shit every chance she got. I'm gonna SAY SOMETHING. She hinted that it would be different if we were actually "together", which has to be the absolute most ridiculous thing I've ever heard... how the hell would she even know what we were or not, she's not in my life!!!

But my dad, my older sister and her best friend, my aunt and uncle, their four sons, their 2gf's/gay one's fiance were either able to pay or have someone close enough to pay for them. I get told I "could have saved up money on my own" when my dad is paying my aunt and uncle after the fact because they included him. And according to my dad that was established last Christmas?

There are a million ways to spin this but I feel like it's all gaslighting. I WAS LEFT OUT OF THIS. What would you expect anyone to do if they find out I'm not there, call me? Can you call from Jamaica via FB messenger? For obvious reasons I'm avoiding social media other than that and Reddit, I can't think about this knowing it's going on. But I know I'm gonna be getting messages from at least one person when they get back and I wanna know what they're gonna be saying. What was the story they told? Would anyone have helped me get there if they knew I wasn't able to?

So my question right now is... IF I feel the same way when my dad comes back, like to the point where I won't even be able to talk about this with him, or even look at him the same way... then it's inevitably time to leave, right? We've long overstayed our welcome in this house as it is, and it seems like nothing except me leaving has any chance at getting my dad to pack up his stuff as well.

Basically, as long as all finances are severed, outside events that my aunt and uncle have, I doubt there would ever be much contact between us if I were to do that. I'm not gonna make the effort and just see what happens if I isolate even further but instead try and make newer, healthier connections. And omg that means meeting new people. I don't know if I know how to do that anymore?

Anyway. I'd like to say I'm sorry to those of you I've been a bit prickly with lately (or so I've been told, I've been so dissociated I can barely remember anything) and I just want you to know for sure that it's not any of your faults. I do like some time to myself when things get rough instead of needing lots of attention (which makes me feel like I'm doing better in terms of possible Cluster B traits, lol). So if I'm isolating, that's all that's going on. Don't take it personally, my friends. You all know I love you guys since along with C and company... you're kinda the only sorta "family" I have right now.

Hi everyone! How was your day?