I’m sure there are plenty of people that need to hear this, but I’m also writing this for myself.

I’ve been having a really hard time lately. I’m having a lot of breakdowns and for me, that often comes with a lot of passive SI. And that negative voice seems to be getting louder.

So, our only job in life, is to create A Life Worth Living

Are you being hard on yourself for being a failure?

Did you do something today that improved your life a little?

It may not seem like it, but you’re working on building #YOUR Life Worth Living

Sending hugs. Needing hugs.

im nervous lol,,

Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

I have a big problem with feeling left out or feeling rejected. It often leads to conflict and I wish to handle those situations better. It has helped a bit to check the facts.

I was thinking about it today and realised that one of the reasons behind this is that I feel like I have nothing to offer to people. I’ve been depressed a lot of my life and that makes me tired and maybe not the most fun person to be around. I think that in order to not react so strongly in these situations I need to change my self image and see that I do have good sides that makes people like me and that it gives value to people to spend time with me.

But this thought is so new to me that I can’t come up with anything at all. I usually use dbt worksheets to solve things but I can’t come to think of one that could help me see what people can get out of hanging with me.

Do you know a dbt worksheet that could work for this purpose? Or maybe something outside of dbt?

Thank you

Hi all, I am super curious about the DEARMAN skill. We learned in group last week and that's my homework. I have lots of questions about the effectiveness of the skill. I am finding lots of psychology posts about it, but I have serious questions about the efficacy in ALL situations, especially in differing cultures or religious organizations. I am curious if anyone has more information or studies about DEARMAN, or any information they found helpful. I find it intriguing that with a cursory search all I find is positive information, when somethig that has been thoroughly studied should have pros and cons, at least to my understanding of the scientific process. Why is DEARMAN only taken positively? Did DEARMAN, DEARMAN the internet?

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Am I right in saying that we should use distress tolerance when we’re in extreme emotions, until we can get back into a window of tolerance? And then we use emotion regulation skills for more like everyday upkeep?

Saw your post and thought to share this resource https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/

Hey guys I just lost about 30kg in the last year doing a CICO, I didn’t avoid any foods per say but feel like I am now being trapped by MyFitnessPal, I feel like it runs my life. I have to keep logging everyday, can’t go above the cal counter by even 1 cal. Although I absolutely love the way I look(The reason why I kept up with this) it Leeds to lot of food noise throughout the day. I have been maintaining for the past month BTW, Could yall recommend me a book to read that can help me in the journey now to find a healthy relationship with food, for me I thing it would be to use MFP as a tool not a overlord, want to build a “have what you want add what you need” kinda relationship with food, see it as my friend and ally in building muscle, Not have Vietnam flash backs when I have a doughnut and then check the mirror if I gained weight(even though that doughnut was accounting for). Thanks legends

i have social anxiety and am thinking about doing dbt but there are group sessions and i struggle to even walk past people i dont know sometimes. i also have asd which they said is quite common in their dbt groups. i think i would find dbt quite stressful at first (i think i would be able to do it but it would be very stressful) but hope it might help me long term. i would also have to give up my current therapist who i trust (which is quite hard for me to do) and it would take me a while to feel comfortable trusting a new individual therapist and im worried about what would happen in that time. however, i really do want to get better and move forward and the progress ive made in other therapies is very slow and i feel it wont help me much more and my psychiatrist said that he thought this would help me a lot. if anyone has any advice please help

ive also just found out theyll take me if i want and a lot of the professionals im working with say they think it would help im just worried about the things i mentioned previously

I’m interning at a place that uses DBT primarily, and we work with kids of various ages. I’m hoping to get recommendations for books about DBT that you personally have found helpful, whether that’s working with others or if it’s a self-help type book. Thank you in advance! I’ve started with DBT for dummies and I downloaded a workbook for kids, as well as browsed the megalist here in this subreddit, but it seemed to be mostly workbooks (which are still very helpful!!). They don’t have to be free books :)

Hi there,

I'm from Australia and really need help to have ongoing support groups and DBT really seems to be the fit for me.

I can be covered for 10 sessions but this is an ongoing method for 36 weeks and can be broken up into 12 week blocks.

How can I get support without the high expense?

I really need help and support and unsure where to go?

Thank you

Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Hi everyone, does anyone here have both BPD and OCD? I'm unable to get therapy still and I'm using DBT skills but I know with OCD you shouldn't use coping skills because it just reinforces the anxiety and tells your brain that the thoughts are distressing. So I'm not too sure how I should tackle it. Any insight would be much appreciated!

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Hey all,

Are there any DBT apps (or mental health apps in general) that work like a flow chart? I often have trouble knowing which skills to use or which would be more effective. Or how long I should try a skill before moving on to something else if my emotion is still intense, if I want avoid doing anything productive, or if I want to self harm.

It is often confusing to know what to choose, and frustrating when I try a few skills and my mood doesn't lessen that much so I'm even more tempted to give into harmful urges. I also struggle with decision making and I think seeing the process like a map would help.

Hi! I’ve(26f) been diagnosed with bpd traits but not diagnosed as bpd. My partner(22f) has bpd and i’m looking for advice on how to make her feel loved and seen. It’s tempting to use manipulation but she’s better than that. How do I go about suggesting dbt therapy without offending her?

I am looking for feedback on the various group skills classes offered online. Any feedback about any of the programs is helpful. They are expensive so it is hard to commit without knowing much in advance.

I’ve learned that I’m an anxious attacher and I’m trying to determine the most effective dbt exercises to regulate myself when my brain weasels are biting. I have an awesome, super supportive and loving partner. He will give me endless support but I want to be more emotionally independent. What are your go-to exercises for regulating and reassuring yourself that your partner loves you?

Willingness is a DBT skill that is taught in the Distress Tolerance Module that helps us tolerate intense emotions by accepting the reality of the present moment and doing what is most effective right now (even when we may not want to be effective).

Marsha Linehan is quoted as saying, "Acceptance is the only way out of Hell".

What is one thing you can do to accept today as it is?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Additional Resources

🔹 Reality Acceptance Skills/Radical Acceptance

🔹 Distress Tolerance Skills

This post is reoccurring every Wednesday at 12:05AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Hello all I’m wondering if there’s a DBT online group where i can do a course and online group therapy. What’s the best one? Accepts insurance?

Hi, I'm making a dbt toolbox for the first time and wanted to know what people like in their's, recommendations, and if I should make a seperate one so I have one for home and for going out in public.

2 years ago I started being treated for borderline personality disorder. Upon my research and conversations with my psychiatrist, I have come to understand that DBT is extremely effective for people with my diagnosis. Ive done a few types of therapy with little lasting success and I genuinely want to continue. The thing that turns me off to DBT is the idea of doing a skills group, which seems to be a huge part of what makes DBT what it is. I’d love to hear some of the experiences of people who hated the idea of a skills group yet decided to try DBT anyways. Really it is the only thing keeping me from moving forward but I am inching towards willingness to try. I just want to get better. Thanks :-)

Edit: thanks for all the helpful replies, I think it could be really good for me. It’s nice to know that people who hated the idea of it did come around.

Welcome! We're glad you found us. We hope you find this sub helpful in your recovery.

This thread is meant to be a casual place to...

⚙️ Introduce yourself to the community: say hi, tell us a little about where you are on your DBT path (just graduated from group, DIY'ing using a book/internet, just starting working with a therapist, hanging out here to keep your skills fresh, etc.)

⚙️ Share a photo: of a DBT project you have created (eg: an arts and crafts item that reminds you to be mindful like a bracelet, your decorated comfort box,) or another meaningful photo, like your collection of diaries/journals. Please no facial photos, or pics with personal info in them.

⚙️ Offer some words of advice or comfort that you want to share with everyone: Send some kind words into the world if you are able to do so! Alternately you can respond to someone's story/comment with those supportive, validating words (like a lil virtual hug!)

⚙️ Tell us a positive story/experience that you had where you used DBT: Maybe you used it to get through a really tough time in your life, maybe you used some interpersonal effectiveness skills and you got the outcome you were looking for, or

⚙️ Offer some wisdom from using DBT skills that you have come to know after living it/understanding it: Share your wisdom with the community and share what you have learned and how it's shaped your life.

We would like the focus to be on achievements as a form of encouragement to others who may be struggling with the program. We ask that you please keep it positive, please no venting. Overly negative comments will be removed.

Please familiarize yourself with our subreddit Rules and our FAQs to find answers to commonly asked questions about DBT, as well as media and resources (book lists, apps, podcasts, etc.)

This post is reoccurring every Monday at 12:01AM EST (GMT -5:00)

Looking to understand this concept better. Maybe you have good examples or have some favorite videos? basically, ELI5 Radical Acceptance?

I am terribly depressed and I lack ideas how to realize the DBT ABC skill. My life is only sadness, and suffering those days so I figured why not do the ABC skill ? The problem is I don't know where to start.

Thanks

I tend to overeat and emotionally eat, sometimes I'm okay even on days where I want to overeat until someone else (IE my boyfriend) suggests going out for food or my boss leaves donuts in the break room. Sometimes I'm successful the first time in convincing myself that I don't need it until I think about it again in a few minutes and then I go through the whole process again and this time I'm more likely to fail. I've noticed that using the stop skills help me to stop and think about what I'm doing but don't usually work the second time and I end up reasoning myself back into doing it anyways. Sometimes the thought of that food makes me very happy until I remember the consequences. Usually the situation isn't emotionally charged enough to implement TIPP skills, it's usually "have you eaten today? I'm feeling waffle House" and then I just spend the next 20 minutes going back and forth with myself regarding waffle House.

So I guess my question is what do you do when you're not emotionally charged enough for TIPP but STOP isn't working.

I just got broken up with, and it has a lot to do with my condition. I'm not formally diagnosed or anything, mainly because I can't afford therapy, but I exhibit almost all of the symptoms of quiet BPD. My partner didn't have the capacity to help themself and me at the same time, which I understand. My goal right now is to become a self-reliant person that knows how to deal with my symptoms. I have a lot of trouble with romantic/friendly relationships, because I spiral into thinking everyone I love hates me and are with me because they pity me. I can't seem to escape this mindset. I isolate myself from my friends and I took out my constant anxiety and paranoia on my ex-boyfriend and now I need to learn to live with myself. Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that I can work on? Thanks.