undiagnosed BUT suspected to be BP2 by multiple professionals.

I’ve been having crashes since I was 11. That was the first time I inexplicably wanted to kill myself. Then again and 12, and so on until now (16). But I’m not sure if I’ve had hypomania. I can think of a few high energy periods following crashes. One where I started binge drinking and stealing alcohol. One where, following a crash where I started self-harming, I wanted to run a marathon. I remember having the energy to do 2 hours of training. But I don’t have that rush off energy that people describe. Nor does my sleep have to be interrupted.n

Quoted straight from the book I recommend buying it on amazon for $15.

“Work Hours

1. Working regular daily or nightly hours rather than variable night/day work shifts
2. Being assigned work shifts that fit best with your circadian rhythms (for example, 10am-7pm instead of 8am-5pm; working 3-hour shifts for 5 days rather than 5-hour shifts for 3 days)
3. Avoiding work early in the morning if you suffer from “medication hangovers”
4. Reducing work hours or changing from full-time to part-time when having mood fluctuations
5. Being excused from (or getting reductions in) overtime work
6. Completing some of your tasks at home versus at work

Stress Management

1. Being allowed to share responsibilities for projects with others
2. Being placed in an office or cubicle that has a degree of distance from noise and stimulation
3. Restructuring your work environment to avoid overstimulation (for example, working in well-lit, uncrowded rooms)
4. Being excused from certain work assignments that historically have been triggers for your mood swings
5. Obtaining support or counseling from an employee assistance program
6. Leaving work for breaks or lunch to decompress, exercise, walk, meditate, or use relaxation techniques
7. Taking a greater number of short breaks rather than two long breaks during an 8-hour work shift
8. Being given autonomy in matters of goal setting

Absences from Work

1. Being granted brief absences for medical appointments, with chances to make up the hours
2. Being granted extended leaves of absence with a doctor’s note
3. Being allowed to leave work early when having difficult mood swings or anxiety/stress reactions

Communication with Your Employer about Performance Evaluations

1. Having regular and open communication with your employer about your job performance
2. Hearing what you’re doing right as well as what you’re doing wrong
3. Being judged by overall productivity and task completion or other, more individualized measures of productivity, instead of being judged only by the number of hours worked
4. Revisiting these accommodations from time to time to determine if they are enabling you to be productive and remain stable”

My lil takeaways from reading this chapter. I recommend buying the book on amazon for $15.

• “Women with bipolar disorder have longer, more frequent, and more treatment-resistant depressions than men.”
• “Mixed episodes, rapid cycling, and bipolar II disorder are more common in women.”
• Track your period in relation to your mood. Simple as jotting down what days you are menstruating. 

I had an episode this weekend, and I’m pretty sure I’ve ruined my marriage in the process. I feel like my entire life is falling apart and I can’t control myself or my brain appropriately. I’ve been stable for months but after a move back to my wife’s hometown, I’ve fallen into a depression and can’t seem to get out. I also absolutely hate my job and have no friends or a support system in the area.

I don’t know where to go from here. It appears everything is in shambles and either way I lose. I’m thinking it’s time to go the suicide route because I can’t find a way out, and I don’t know that I want to, not with this disease.

I have a therapy appointment today, but I’d like to hear from my fellow bipolar, how was your life after an episode shattered everything?

Has anyone had issues taking this medication with their stomach? I was so bad yesterday i went to Er they couldn't find anything. My sodium was low too. I am so over trying these meds making me feel like crap tbh. I really am.

My lil takeaways from this chapter. 1000% recommend buying the book for $15.

• “People with bipolar disorder are especially prone to anger and resentment when control is being taken away from them.”
• Stay away from your favorite stores when hypomanic. 
• Before buying something over $100 or spending over $200 wait 48 hours and get at least two full nights of sleep.
• Don’t make life-changing decisions while hypomanic. For me: don’t change your major, drop out of school, ask for a raise, or quit your job.

just curious! for me it was 600mg. also would like to know what therapeutic level your doctors aimed for, & if you're on lithium only or combined with other meds. thank you!

Anyone else get really low mentally when they have a flu/a common cold? I’ve spent the last three days with the flu and with each day I’ve noticed a dip in my mental health. Before contracting the flu I was fairly optimistic on my outlook of life but that has apparently disintegrated.

Today is my last day on vacation and it feels like the Sunday Blues 😫 I’ve been having the best time ever and seeing/doing so much stuff and now it’s all over tonight and I have to return to my depression den tomorrow. I swear I’m a totally different person when I leave home and I’m out and about and when I return it’s like a switch turns and I’m a different person and in a funk again.

Beats anxiety and autism by a full mile when it comes to my overall mental health. You can’t medicate autism and my anxiety is so severe it makes me feel suicidal just to escape it. I’d choose bipolar any day over the other two

I am bipolar 1/ADHD. I feel I am letting go of everything after a suicide attempt. That being said, it was adderall. I'm over 3 months of off of it but I'm depressed and anxious as hell. Adderall was basically the only medication for my ability to give a shit.

So if my back is against the wall, do I ask my doctor to go back on it? Cuz I really am not so sure.

I’ve been struggling with this for years. Almost daily Brain fog. When I am in this state I run on auto pilot. I have terrible mood swings like I am a different person. I could cry but most of all I get angry during this. And I feel very weak and tired. I also make a lot more mistakes at work. Not sure what is causing it. I have been prescribed Zoloft and Lamotrigine and it has lessen some but I still get it 3-4 times a week. It’s really effecting my life and most days I wake up feeling like this.

Just need some advice on what it could be and what direction to take to help myself feel better.

how do you motivate to clean your place? I specifically mean laundry. but other places in general? Thanks

I’ve been struggling the last 3 days. I’ve been feeling so sad and having suicidal thoughts. I don’t have plans to act on them they are just present and won’t go away. I’m just wondering how I go about my life like this lol. I’ve been off work for a few days, so I’ve been able to just rot in the bed, but I had to go back to work this morning and now that I’m here all I keep thinking about is how much better it would be to do it at work. I’d rather my job find my body than my family. These are just thoughts that keep popping into my head. I really do not want to be admitted into the hospital again. I just want to be regular. I want to be happy and outgoing and love my life but that just isn’t me and I don’t know what to do. I’m trying so hard not to loose my job because I just started and have already lost previous job when I get into this head space. I really feel so hopeless and lost. Feel like this is never going to end.

Last week I screwed up and took my dose of 200mg Lamotragine twice. No big deal I figured, it's not the first time, however previous times were 100mg doses or 150mg doses. But this double dose kind of fucked me up. I got super manic for the day, and I didn't realize it till that night when it was one in the morning and I was wide awake, even though I had stayed busy, did my daily workout and dosed out all my sleeping meds.

I've been riding a manic wave ever since and experiencing intense hypersexuality which is new for me. But recently I've become aware as of late that my ticker is having problems. Several things have happened since last I posted here that have caused some severe panic attacks. Long story short, I have bouts of tachyardia now which are most likely being caused by my anxiety.

Now that I'm manic, I have had a few more heart scares, one day last weekend I wasn't sure if I was having a heart attack or not. Unfortunately I didn't die, but I felt pretty awful for a few days after.

If my anxiety and mania are effecting my heart this bad, what do you think my chances of keeling over from a heart attack are going to be? I have set up an appointment to run a series of cardiac tests in a few weeks. Not sure how I feel about this whole thing. I had a cancer scare last month, thankfully that turned out to be a false alarm. But it feels like each problem I have has led to a new, worse, problem. The cancer thing scared me and made me realize I don't want to die that way, I've watched too many people die from cancer at this point. But I'm strangely not concerned about dropping dead from a heart attack.

Does anyone else have a heart condition due to mania/anxiety? Or am I the luckiest one here?

I was put on latuda at the beginning of last month, we went up on it and it made my depression worse, so, I went back down. It made my depression even worse again.

He finally listened to me and put me back on saroquel. That med really helped me through high school- 2017. I cannot wait to get my life back.

Hello everyone,

I'm going through a depressive phase for almost a month now, with brief periods of improvement, but for the past two weeks, I've been consistently feeling bad.

I've never had severe depression, but now I consider it moderate. I feel hungry, I eat, get out of bed, watch content, study... but I don't want to be outside, in the sun, or with people. And, of course, there's the constant rumination over negative thoughts and unproductivity (im a autonomous therapist)

My history with BP2 began after a year and a half of trying to get better with antidepressants. I was diagnosed about a month and a half ago.

The psychiatrist took me off the antidepressant Pristiq since it's not recommended for mixed states. I was put only on lithium. My last test showed 0.65 in the blood while taking 900 mg of lithium carbonate. The doctor decided to increase it to 1200 mg.

Yesterday, on the second day of 1200 mg lithium, I felt very heavy, with pressure in my head, and concerned about the "strangeness" in my skin. I have zero energy to meet people or walk outside. I cried during lunch with family, and at night, I also cried spontaneously. I'm crying easily now, which didn't happen while I was on Pristiq.

In general, since starting lithium, I feel more down. It could be completely psychological, but I feel a bit intoxicated and nauseated. So, my questions are:

• Has lithium alone been able to lift you out of depression?
• When is the right time to inform the doctor that things aren't improving, considering I'm entering the therapeutic range of 0.8+ but not noticing any improvement?

Any help or shared experiences are welcome, brothers!

Thank you very much!

hello, 14f. i want to know if its possible. A long time ago, i was advised to look out for bipolar symptoms by my psychiatrist. Im on a new med- concerta 18mgs, so now Im on 2 adhd medications and one depression medication.

Antidepressants (lexapro, prozac) didnt make me manic, but im worried that maybe my adhd meds are. i dont know how this works. i feel like im going back and forth between emotions. any help is welcome.

What are signs for you all a depressive episode may be coming on? Could be the slightest sign to the most obvious sign! I'm trying to decide on mine and thought some others pov may ring some bells for me.

I’m not sure if this is allowed but I have an assessment tomorrow & im really nervous. I was wondering if anyone has any advice so that I feel at ease & organised? I just purchased a notebook and I’m going to write some key points in preparation for tomorrow but I wanted to know if there’s anything I should definitely mention, I just don’t want to miss anything out. TIA

I recommend going out and buying a cool calendar and begin tracking your daily mood each night. Could be as simple as a smiley face or frowny face on the calendar. Started in July and I'm beginning to see a pattern!

Who has to take meds and hates it? I mean loathe it. What do you do to try increase compliance? How do you convince yourself to take your meds every day?

I mean I despise my meds and what they do to me. What can make this better?

Rant?

I’m feeling frustrated and a bit confused. I’m not sure if I actually have bipolar disorder or if my other diagnoses are making it seem like I do. For context, I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, OCD, CPTSD, and an eating disorder. I know some of these conditions overlap, but I still wonder.

In March 2023, two psychiatrists diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. Since then, I’ve been on and off so many medications that I’ve lost count. Initially, I was prescribed lamotrigine and gabapentin, but I stopped taking them. I started again in July, and since then, it’s been a constant trial-and-error process with medications. The only ones I don’t get extreme headaches from are lamotrigine and gabapentin.

Recently, I started lithium carbonate (300 mg) along with lamotrigine (150 mg twice daily). Is it normal to be on two mood stabilizers at the same time? It feels like a lot for one person. On lithium, I’ve been experiencing the typical side effects like increased thirst and frequent urination but I’ve also noticed that my urine has a strong odor and very cloudy. I couldn’t find much information about this when I looked it up, so I’m planning to bring it up with my psychiatrist.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences. Also, are there other medications you’d recommend for managing all my diagnoses? I’m so exhausted from trying new medications over and over.

I have a generalized sensation of agitation, intrusive thoughts and difficulty sleeping. Has anyone some advice on how to deal with it? I have this feeling of restlessness

I'm looking for advice or personal experiences with supplements that might help manage bipolar disorder. I know these can't replace therapy or medication, but I'm curious about any additional support they might provide.

Have you tried omega-3s, magnesium, or other supplements? Did they make a difference? I'd love to hear your insights or any research you’ve come across!

I'm going to the lab tomorrow and I'm interested in blood works I might get to help me, I've heard about thyroid, vitamin d and iron

Currently on epival. Been on it on/off for the past 1.5 years. Have experienced toxicity multiple times. Low doses don’t keep me stable but anything over 1000 has caused toxicity. Most recently i am experiencing being physically unwell even after decreasing to 500 from 1250.

Need to bring options to my psych this week. Need to stabilize before I start college in January 2025 preferably without an admission.

Psych isn’t willing to do Lithium. No benzos.

I deal with both hypo/manic and depressive episodes. Both equally bad.

Anti-psychotics cause me a lot of side effects but i’m considering going back to IM Abilify if I can’t find a better solution.

I’ll take any suggestions at this point. I’d love to know peoples experiences with other meds. (I’m in canada if that effects meds availability)

People don't understand that I can't control when I sleep when I'm manic.

When I'm manic, I can take all my downer meds at once. I can exercise. I can turn off all my screens and lie still with my eyes closed in a dark room until the sun comes up.

No matter how many meds are in my system, no matter how physically exhausted I am, no matter how much I lie still in the dark I CAN'T SLEEP.

Normal fucking people don't understand this. They blame me and blame me and blame me, and it's not my fucking fault.

Hi friends! I’m here bc I don’t know who else to talk to. I feel extremely just.. blah?? I’ve started taking welbutrin (probably fucked up the spelling of that) bad Lamictal again and idk if it’s working? I used to take them awhile back before I got put on Prozac for my PMDD and I used to love it. The Prozac made me gain a lot of weight I think so I stopped taking it and now am back on those meds. Idk if they’re just working thru my system or what but I feel incredibly irritated and just on edge. I’m rapid fire thinking about irrational shit which is giving me irrational anxiety, again I’m just so irritated and angry almost and kinda feel more depressed on it then I was without it? I’m just kinda having a hard time and don’t know if anyone else has experienced this/if it’ll pass. My body image stuff is just absolutely out of control which fuels my anxiety and this weird ass anger. I feel like I just have this mean dark cloud hanging around me and Idk. I hope I’m allowed to ask these questions/advice. These meds have worked for me in the past so I’m just hoping I’m in a weird adjustment phase if that’s even a thing?

I’ve been taking medication for bipolar disorder since May of 2023. Yesterday, I was going through a lot of things and I took 3000 mg at once. I got scared after what I did so I decided to go to the hospital. I remember that my arms and legs were shaking a lot, and I also was vomiting a lot (which helped me because the dose that I took was potentially lethal). I don't remember anything else from there, but I woke up in a room in the hospital and a nurse was trying to help me to go to the bathroom (which was hard because I had trouble walking). Now I'm feeling better, but I don't know what’s going to happen from now.