I’m the closest I’ve ever been to actually doing something about my suicidal thoughts today. It’s just all too much. I’m only 23 and have a one year old son who I’m a stay at home mum to but I honestly think he’d be better off without me and my ups and downs as he grows up. Pretty sure I’ve got PMDD as well as PPA/PPD and recently I’m more depressed than not. My partner works full time so that I’m able to stay home with our son but then it’s as if because he goes to work that means he doesn’t have to do anything at home to help me which just gets too much looking after a toddler, myself and the whole house. I’ve been spiralling for a while and my partner doesn’t seem to care other than telling me to speak to family who live hours away and can’t help. I just want someone to care because I can’t care for myself anymore.

Hey, I am planning to attempt suicide in the upcoming months by starving myself with food and water. It’s the only method I can think of other than shooting myself (which I can’t. Im 17 and don’t own a gun)

I know it will be painful, but the pain of being here is a lot more.

I just know I can't leave my son...I wish I could give him a better mother. I wish I didn't feel like this everyday. I wish I didn't feel guilty for wanting to die. No one would even notice to be honest. My "family" is broken. The last time my sister called to "talk" was to ask me stupid and disrespectful racist questions (I'm half black and we have different dad's.) "Why don't black people change color when they're sick? Can you tell if black people get frost bite?" The only people outside of family I've ever been able to attract are people who want to drink and do drugs and party. Who want to steal and use and lie. Who'll treat you like absolute trash and then tell you it's your fault. My mother told me when I was 13 that she tried to abort me. She had her friend shove a wire hanger inside of her to get rid of me. My brother sexual abused me. I was raped the moment I moved out of my mom's house at 18. By a "friends" boyfriend. Who later tried to interrogate me and get every little detail out of me while I was in shock. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. The last time I didn't have to force a smile. And my son can see it And I can't stand it anymore. I just want to die

Hey yall, I'm a 22 yr old guy and to be honest im just extemely miserable lol. I've been spending everyday just crying most of the time and I've been struggling so much in school and Idk what to do anymore. Everyday is me failing exams despite studying and my family blaming me and asking me Why it's taking so long for me to graduate.

Ever since I've started university, I've been extrmely sad and I don't know what to do. I have a weird issue where I tend to redo things like a lot? I'll redo things like locking the door or playing a games tutorial over and over and over until I can calm down? This weird issue of mine is something I've told my family about and doctors but they all say that it's just my personality. I only mention this because it's a constant issue during my studies.

The point is, I'm not really seeing a point in life ngl. I'm a failure who can barley get through his classes, I've made so many mistakes and am stuck in this degree (software eng) that makes me wanna kms and everyday I spend so much time redoing things over and over to calm my brain down and dealing with extrmely intrusive thoughts.

There are things that I enjoy, I love games video games I mean lol and I love to spend time with ppl but I cannot handle the stress of engineering or my brain.

Anyone got any ideas of what you'd do in my situation?

Ps: i hope everyone on this sub becomes happy, life is really hard and I hope we can all get some sort of peace

My life consists of nothing but shame, emotional pain, physical pain and abuse. i absolutely despise my family, my job, myself and everything on this planet. i have been trying my whole life to get things right but i´m nothing. i am the most frustrated human on this planet and i don´t plan on living much longer. every joint in my body hurts. i have pssd and my skin is burning and numb. i am impotent and the age of 27 because of pssd. i suffer from extreme social anxiety and loneliness. i can´t be myself anymore. my friends abandoned me and i actually understand them, although it is not my fault. i tried so hard. a good friend of mine killed herself and i have zero perspective for my future. even if i make it out of this mess i will still have to face pssd. i have survived so much and so much pain only to end up in situations that are even worse.......i really can not find a purpose in my suffering anymore

I have loads of benzos I'm prescribed for anxiety, lots of alcohol, quetiapene, some codine tablets I have for chronic pain and some other misc stuff. Will this work?

I seriously want to just end it. I dont have friends or close family. I dont have anything to live for. I dont care about anything in my life anymore. I just cant seem to find a way to do it. I dont want to slit my wrists or overdose. I dont have a gun. I dont wanna jump infront of a car and traumatize some rando. Ive been depressed since i was nine. Im just tired. I just want to be able to rest. I want to just sleep I just feel hopeless bc like i wanna die but i cant. I dont know what to do. I cant do this shit anymore

my ex is constantly trying to ruin my life and i handle it anm, she constantly tries to turn people against me and i js cant do this, my family n close friends notice my sh cuts but i js say its soccer and move on, i need help but i dont know how to ask for it so i js constantly push people away.

I am 28m. I have been suffering from mental illness for 10 years. I have gotten as much help as possible, but I feel overwhelmed, suffocated and behind in life. I have made progress with my struggles, but I feel that it isn’t enough. Please help.

I’m thinking about killing myself due to work being induced on me by my parents, and I’m thinking it would be better if I wasn’t here. To be honest I don’t think they care about me. They’ve just not been very present though my whole life and I think it would just be better if I wasn’t here anymore. I don’t understand anything anymore, I’m lost because of them.

They say there are not only bad people in the world, there are also good ones. Then why the fuck don't I meet or see them?

I am a good person, I always have good intentions. Just like I was told when I was brought up. Yet I live a really unsatisfying life.

I do not like how the people in my life are. I know not everyone can think the same way you do, but everyone? I am a university student and the people there are really shallow individuals. Apparently, people only care about you if you can be of service to them. They do not care if you genuinely care about them and their lives, they do not care if you are a good person and always do your best. What you need to do is to be at their beck and call, give them free car rides, act exactly how they want you to when they want you to. They do not care that you have to pay for the car, that you have to pay for fuel, that you have to use up your own energy to drive the car. I always thought if I treated people well and was a good person, people would be kind to me, but apparently life is not like that. Nowadays, when I look at these people, I feel such rage, disgust and anger. People are mean. Life is mean.

This is not just one bad day, I have always seen this. This has gotten so bad that I do not want to live anymore. I do not want to have to go through all this bullshit everyday till the day I die. I want to go away. I just wanted to feel true happiness, like it is described in books and movies. Are these just empty promises, just things made up to make people feel better about the world? Can't I have my goddamn happy ending?

I used to be very suicidal recently. But now I just say fuck them, fuck all these assholes and parasites, fuck god and his mean creation, fuck all these fake people in the government, fuck all the people who expect things from you without giving anything in return, fuck the people who play with others and fuck life itself.

I am just gonna hang out here and there and chill till I die. We'll see how it goes

Genuinely I need some help finding this. I don't exactly have nitrogen gas cylinders lying around.

this is probably so insanely stupid. im coming to reddit for stupid advice or someone to listen to me. my boyfriend broke up with me. i know that it sounds stupid but i cant take it anymore. my bpd and anger issues ruin every friendship and relationship ive ever been in. i cant afford my therapy anymore. my mother was abusive both physically and verbally when i was a younger kid and unfortunately i cant break the cycle. i feel her in me when my anger issues come into view. im just like her. maybe not as bad as she was but i couldnt break the cycle. im ready to leave. the only thing tjats stopping me is my baby kitten who's severely attached at the hip to me. my now ex boyfriend adopted her for me though. i wish she could go with me but id never ever do that to her nor do i want her to come with me. i dont know what to do anymore. im scared and alone and ive already wrote my goodbye messages to my main 8 friends. im tired of having so many mental illnesses. i wish i was normal. i just dont know what to do anymore. my baby kitten is laying next to me as i type this and i just want her to go to someone loving. someone who wont abuse her. i jist want her to be happy. i want my ex boyfriend to be happy.

So I have thought about killing myself from time to time over the past few years now. I have always thought about the pros and cons, so that I was I haven't done it yet. Problem is, for the first time ever, the pros have started to outweigh the cons. What are some tips to get out of this state, because I feel like if this continues, I will probably end up actually doing it some day

Thanks I advance

A few days ago me (F18) and my closest guy friend (M20) was chatting. There was going to be a gather-back at our high school. For information we both graduated.bWhile talking he made a inappopriate joke towards someone we didnt like when we were in the school. Lets call that person A. My friend said that "he was going to touch A under the table/harrass him under the table". Im not sure which he said exactly. I felt so bad I deleted our messages. His joke really bothers me but what bothers me most is the way i responded. I felt really uncomfortable when he said it but I didnt know how to react, for some reason I didnt want to be rude. I should have been rude, I should have called him out. I think I responded to him with a "hahahah what are you saying". I felt really guilty instantly when i texted him that so I tected him again, I feel really bad because of you, why did you say that. He responded "Im just joking, I can take it back if you want". As ifs going to be like he didnt say anything. God I feel so guilty, I dont think that joke was funny, I think it was really offensive and disgusting. I hate myself, why did I respond to it like that. I am explaining this to my friend over text but Im not sure if I should say her how I responded. She will be rightfully disgusted. I hate myself.

(not urgent, I just feel like absolute shit)

I'm just really fucking done with feeling like this. There is no escape this time, other than drinking alcohol but that just makes things worse to be honest.

Previously I at least had some small amounts of shrooms and acid that I knew would be my emergency escape in situations like this, where I constantly think that there is nothing left but to kill myself. I've only had one proper trip on acid but that made my suicidal thoughts fuck off for 2+ months and honestly, that was the best 2 months in YEARS. I'm pretty much crashing on the afterglow and having yet another pmdd episode. I just hate how I have to deal with this stupid 'women's' issue when I'm fucking trans and I have no hope of getting that treated by the fucking government funded healthcare, probably like EVER. So I'm stuck with this fucking bs.

I wish I had died back when I had anorexia. At least I didn't have to deal with this constant, crippling dysphoria about by body and how I now look like a fat fucking girl and the whole fucking week+ long shit show that is the rage fit that the pmdd makes me throw every time. I want to fucking relapse and cut myself and starve myself like before but there is some stupid deep ingrained trauma in my brain now that will absolutely disagree with starving myself. It seems that I can't lose more weight, I've lost maybe 8kg from last summer (life situation was absolute shit and life style was absolute shit too). I can't even get myself hooked on endorphins from exercise, as a coping mechanism, when I have anemia that has not gotten any fucking better even though I've been eating all the fucking iron pills and shit like I was told to. I can't fucking breathe, I'm constantly tired.

Nevermind the fucking insomnia and being alone all the fucking time.

Yesterday I was about as ok as I can be in this situation and now I have basically no motivation for anything and I just want to hit my head aganist the wall until this fucking feeling passes.

I keep looking for a fucking panacea for my stupid head that doesn't work and everytime I find something that could work, it's impossible to obtain bc everything is illegal here and I don't know people who sell illegal drugs, a few people have scammed me so fuck those people honestly. I can't fucking stand dis-honest people, slip on shit and choke on it, you know who you are. And the one who tried to fuck me without consent, DIE.

I am not sharing what I have learned about suicide statistics from literature reviews. I researched about what method has the highest success rate and I think I will lean on to that. No, it's not poisoning.

I feel so empty in the last 5 months because I am living a lie. I am not graduating uni. I am in my final year and I fucked up. Context, I was diagnosed of anxieties (yes anxietIES) and struggled with suicidal ideation. I also attempted suicide few years ago but chickened out. I am so scared of my parents knowing that I will not graduate. I'm sorry I am a fucking failure but this is not my fault because I did not want to be like this. All of my negative experiences in the past 5 years was due to their major decision that impacted me negatively.

I wanna run away and drown myself in the waters but it's too cold now, it's too uncomfortable. I wanna overdose on some pills but it's not effective, IT'S NOT.

​

Hi everyone, I'm a 28 year old man, physically I'm quite handsome, I have a good job and a good financial situation. Maybe some would say I have everything to be happy but I don't and probably never will. I had a happy childhood but a horrible adolescence, to make a long story short, we took in my uncle who is a big crack user, he stole from us and laid down the law... on top of that, my stepfather father beat my mother and she kicked him out the day he tried to make her go blind by replacing the lotion in her contact lenses with bleach at that time the one who helped me get through it was my girlfriend of the time with whom I stayed for 4 years but who ended up leaving me because I didn't treat her as she deserved. from that moment on I never felt so alone and misunderstood in my life and that's when I made my first suicide attempt to be honest with you I immediately regretted it when I saw how much it saddened my mother and when I saw my family come to visit me in hospital to cheer me up I told myself that even if it's hard I have to fight so I made a radical decision I gave up everything to recharge my batteries in my home country, I stayed there for several months. When I got back to France (yes, because I'm French) I was supposed to go and see some friends, but on the way I saw my ex with her new boyfriend to be honest at the time I was heartbroken I canceled the meeting with my friends and I went home to lock myself in the dark (I do not know why but I feel good in the dark) but at that moment I had a trigger and I decided to move forward without suspecting that with time it would get worse to make it short 7 years after my first attempt amicably I had that betrayals of people who were there by interests, Sentimentally I had that disappointments including 1 girl who made me a child behind my back because she did not accept the breakup of course I assume the child Finally all this to tell you that I came back to the starting point I still feel so alone and misunderstood that I'm far from perfect and I've hurt a lot of people but I don't deserve what people put me through and to be sad all the time all I ask is to be loved and considered but for people it's difficult

I'm telling you all this today to tell you that I'm going to end my life in the next few weeks to sort out some administrative details and that the second attempt will be the right one. I also liked reading your stories before going to sleep but unfortunately none of them prevented me from making this decision

My only regret is that my mother will probably never recover and my son will grow up without a father

PS : Sorry for the spelling mistakes

I love y’all

tonight I haven’t told anyone how i feel. not even my FP. living in such a small town means everyone around me knows everyone else, i can never truly have a fresh start. I am a failure and my life will never amount to anything. I’m sorry everyone. I love you all. I hope reincarnation is real so i can come back as one of my favourite animals.

I'm just waiting on my gf to wake up at 6 am and leave for work at 630. Then at about 7 I'm going to get in my truck drive to a park I like and pull a trigger to get rid of myself. I'm only leaving the house so I don't make a mess that she would have to clean and I plan on walking into the woods at the park so that way if she wasn't she can have the truck or just sell it. I've been fighting with my own problems for years and she helped some but I never really told her much about it so not her fault she didn't see anything. I'm pretty good at looking happy for the sake of others. But I just kinda wanted to write it down to get rid of a bit of anxiety and I honestly feel good about it. I'm kinda happy in a word way. Don't really need any comments or anything just like that just kinda liked how it felt to put it on paper or whatever. I might check this post again once I get to the park but kinda doubt it. Just make sure to check on the people you love and make sure they are actually okay and not just saying it so make you go away.

I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to do anything or want to see anyone. I've slept quite a bit this long weekend to escape. Just want to be left alone. However, I want to be loved. I want to be in someone's life. I want to feel wanted & not used. But I don't want to hurt anyone. Just someone knowing what's going on inside for me would cause harm. It's made people leave me before. Sometimes I wish I could shout what wrong with me from the rooftops just so people could hate me & I'd get it over & done with. But I know how many people in my life this would affect. The family I have left would be destroyed. I wish I could get help but it doesn't exist. Wasted years trying. Decades even. I've hurt myself trying but still no peace from it. How much can a person go through, how much can they try to help themselves before insanity overcomes them? I just wish it could end...

i feel so alone. i feel so distant from the people i love and i refuse to let anyone new in out of the fear they will find out im broken. i always seem to do something wrong. anytime someone new likes me i get scared that they only like the one part of the version of me i let them see and if i get any closer everything will be ruined. every time i have a good day i still can’t stop thinking about killing myself. i don’t have anyone or anything to turn to at this point. each day is an individual struggle i have to push through and usually the next day isn’t any better than the one i barely made it through. sometimes it gets a little better and then it gets so much worse. like let me just catch a break please.

I miss when I didn't disappoint them, and they didn't disappoint me. I miss when we were all a little younger and different. I can't even imagine how they worked out in the first place. There were some big things that they never handled properly in their lives. they thought they were okay enough to have me. They're different people now, they aren't what I remember. I wish I never grew up. My mom changed with aging and the drugs and alcohol. But I don't think my dad changed at all... I grew up and now its different. I miss when they wanted me the right way. I think they do want me sometimes and think about me, everything just feels wrong now and it makes me so scared. I think they're gone. I turned 9 and everything gradually got worse and worse, I learned to hate myself more and more. They were all I had and now they're nothing. I wish they never did this. They were never okay. I cherish my memories of childhood so much but I just wish I never existed. My feelings for them are so heavy, thinking about everything else is overwhelming. How could they suffer so much and not kill themselves? I ask myself that a lot. They have faith, I have my childhood and a void. I wish I could fall asleep forever with my cat

Can someone tell me what the purpose of leaving.. Cause I'm tired of breathing these dusty air

I just tried but somehow it’s drying by itself but I can’t cut deeper or harder it hurts.
Im tired I just want everything to be gone and done

i dunno why a lotta people think they should down a whole bottle of ibuprofen but all you're gonna do is fuck up your liver

and yes i know you don't give a shit about that because you just want it to end, but you'll live, you'll put yourself in pain for nothing

so please, just don't do it

I don’t want to be talked out of anything, I just want to make sure I don’t end up brain dead, draining my family’s bank accounts in a hospital somewhere.

My life is worthless as it is, and the love of my life just ended things. I do not want to be here another second. Let me know if I need more or what the outlook would be on this dosage, thanks

im only 16 but have frequent episodes where I feel like im going insane. these feelings usually lead me to thoughts of suicide or self harm. I can usually manage them, but every time it happens it gets worse. I dont know what to do and im genuinely scared for my life.

The moment I wake up I'm hit with intense dread knowing I'm still here for another day. I don't even enjoy sleep as a relief anymore because I wake up constantly and struggle to fall asleep. I feel physically awful all the time as well as well mental and I'm losing my hair and weight. My eyes are dark from being tired and my skin even more pale from lack of sunlight. My breath stinks and my teeth hurt from grinding them. I'm extremely constipated and have joint pains from laying in bed too much and headaches from looking at my phone all day and night. Im ashamed to leave the house looking like this not that I'd want to anyway. Just give me a fucking gun so I can end it already

So, tried to end it last night, took a gram and half of propanalol as its all i had(from zero tolerance) and sadly i woke up

Now am just in a haze and dont know what to do.

Am beyond disappointed i woke and still dont want to be here.

Now what. What are we supposed to do? Took me months to save those pills up and it bloody failed! (For reference, a gram is supposed to be fatal)

Am i just supposed to exist again until i can try again?