Recently my life began to spiral out of control, my fiancé the person I was with for 9 years has cheated on me, kicked me out of our apartment and has spent the last few month blaming me for her behaviors, and mistreating me. I showed up to the apartment one day and she was letting some dude out, and told me to fuck off and leave her the fuck alone. We were still together at this point but I was coming to get the rest of my stuff. I was left a complete mess and drove away, I drove for about an hour crying hysterically. I reached a view up a mountain road I frequent. I parked by myself an just continued to ball my eyes out. I have a revolver and loaded one in, I closed my eyes and spun the cylinder for what felt like ages. Then I pulled the trigger and it just went click... I stayed there and continued to cry for a long time until I built up the courage to head to where I was staying. I haven't spoke this to anyone. Thank you for reading, just to put some minds at ease I did give my gun to a friend to lock up, and now they have me on a suicide watch, but no one knows of my attempt

Life is hard, I’ve been listless and adrift lately. I just want to find the people in life that will stay around, but that seems impossible for me.

It's really what the title says. I broke up with her when I was manic and stopped talking to her for a month. I believe she's found someone else and now I'm no longer manic and having to deal with the consequences of all of it. I also have a history of abuse in past relationships.

It wasn't a perfect relationship as we would argue a lot and things would get out of control. I have a tendency to see slights where there weren't any, or maybe there were. I honestly don't know. I have a therapist but I don't see her again until wednesday morning. I'd love to chat with someone and maybe get my mind off of everything. Just get my thoughts out and maybe I can help you too. I left my old job when my manic phase hit and just kind of went crazy.

For a long time I was supporting her and she's still asking for money occasionally to help pay her rent but otherwise completely ignoring me. She keeps telling me that it's just a break, and that she's not gone but I feel lost and alone. Anyone willing to Voice chat would be awesome but text would also work as well. I have discord and I could always use more friends on there.

I have been tempted to reach out on here before but haven't. Tonight, I called out of my new job because I just couldn't get my head clear of all that's going on and I have a pit in the bottom of my stomach every time my mind wanders to her, and it seems to do that every few minutes. Everything reminds me of her. I know I was terrible in the relationship sometimes but I think I did my best most of the time. Now, it's over and I'm just so lost.

I've been coming back and forth with this girl for about...2 years,maybe?We broke up 3 times, I was the one who chose to in 2 of them.

Maybe I was wrong,but I diddnt feel quite comfortable with some things she said or did, like, she would have friends and not talk to them about me, to the point they didnt know she had a bf, and I'm not talking about some superficial friendship, she could spend 10 hours a week for 6 to 7 months with them, specially with one of them, and never tell him that I existed, that made me feel really uncomfortable and insecure.

She also ALWAYS had a "best friend", and what I mean for this is that she would meet some dude (always dudes), they would become really close really fast and sometimes she would choose not to introduce me to the guy because, and I quote, "she didnt want him to go away if he found out she had a bf", to which I responded that "A friend that leaves if you say u have a bf, is not a friend,is some guy trying to have his chance with u" but she wouldnt listen, it became to a point that I would feel anxious just because I had to answer or meet with her and I decided to break up for the second time, and probably final; but I find myself thinking about her, missing her smell, or to just put my head in her chest and dissociate from the world...should I talk to her?Stay gone? I feel like an idiot

I have some extra time to kill, so feel free to message me for advice, or simply, a listening ear!

It’s been the worst few months of my life and the people who I thought were my friends really aren’t. I’m just looking to talk to some people and hopefully get a friendship out of it.

We can talk about anything you want. You are not alone. Reach out at anytime I am available.

I'm going through a really rough time right now and could use something kind to help me out. The last few years have been extremely hard, lots of anxiety and trauma. Last year I lost my mom unexpectedly, and after that chose to move with my child and pets back across the country to be closer to my dad. Lots of serious anxiety, too much drinking, lost my mom, then my partner, my home, and my career. I can barely hold down a job, but I've been making it. I'm currently going through a miscarriage. It was a wanted pregnancy. Can't work because my jobs are outdoor and very physical, and I'm bleeding, anxious, and nauseous, and now broke. I just want a light at the end of the tunnel. Any kind words, pictures of pets, or funny stories would be appreciated.

Im happy to talk to anybody about anything for however long im needed. Im dyslexic so typing is difficult for me. I have discord and google meets.

I made a post before and i loved speaking with people but id guess nobodys gonna scrol low enough to see it anymore so im making another.

Being an actual dad is not necessary, but I'm looking for someone who is mature, sincere in helping others in my case, be someone I can confide in with as guys my age and generation being worse when it comes to treating girls and feeling angry, frustrated at the world.

Also have a complicated relationship with my dad since im a transgirl. And since I was s*xually coerced by a guy in college/uni, I want to talk to a dad figure who has dealt with shitty guys on some basis

Requirements: Able to VC, not a throwaway alt account, from Aus/NZ/EU/N.America

Im scared i wont ever find someone who love me the same amount that I love them. Ive only been in one relationship and it was incredibly toxic he would constantly make me feel like crap about myself and was cheating on me the whole time. People say that you should tell someone how you feel to get it off your chest and every time i’ve told someone i like them it ends up shitty. Which makes me lose hope for finding someone who likes me back. It doesnt help that i dont go out a lot and have horrible conversation skills because i cant read people. I dont know what to do its not like i can meet new people from school because mine is so small i already know everyone any tips? I wanna meet more people but idk how

Hi there. I'm having a really hard day today. my relationship with my mother has always been rocky. My mother isn't the best mom, she has hurt me a lot of times. But I still wish her a happy Mother's Day, and I took her out to lunch. And we ended up having a good time. And then we got into an argument, I can't really remember what the arguments about, and I don't want to remember. But it ended with me screaming at the top of my lungs because I can't control it anymore. I am one of those people that holds their emotions in, and today was the day that I snap. I screamed at the top of my lungs, stop, just stop. I can't take this anymore. And then she yelled at me to stop screaming, and that I'm over reacting.. She never has been that supportive of me. She tries, but she doesn't try hard enough. I just need someone who is kind to tell me that everything's gonna be OK and that I'm not over reacting. I feel like I can't let my emotions out around her because all she's gonna say is that I'm over reacting and I need to stop giving her attitude.

i'm miku, 23, neurodivergent person from romania with a pretty painful past and bad mental health, but slowly healing, at least that's what i like to think

i'm very passionate about gaming, music and shows. i usually gravitate towards darker themed stuff, like bojack horseman, mr robot, cowboy bebop, omori, doom, celeste, or music genres like witch house, death metal, emo rap, jungle, breakcore, psytrance, but also synthwave, vaporwave and pretty much a lot of edm. sometimes i make music in fl studio when i can bring myself to do it. also super passionate about sound in general as i'm an audiophile, and especially like playing around with complex equalizers to get a certain kind of sound (dead flat). super interested into pc building too, i'm pretty nerdy about pc specs, cpus, gpus etc.

i'm just looking for a genuine connection with people alike, someone to relate with on a deeper level, and get close with, purely platonically. to whoever reads this, whether you dm me or not, hope you're having a great day c:

Hi i am 21 m and here to find people to talk to since i feel lonely and bored.

I’m stuck in Germany, a country which seems to feel like a cesspool of uselessness. I can here originally under the prospect of better work opportunities than in the US in my field…. But now it seems like that’s nothing but a falsehood.

I want to go home, but apart from a family which can’t support me I have practically nothing to go back home to.

I finally escaped an abusive home and moved to the US as I'm pursuing a Masters Degree. I just went no contact with my abusive mother after still being in contact because I was too afraid to be all alone and not have anybody to talk to but finally gained the courage today to block her. It was really hard but for the best...

I feel all alone in life with nobody to talk to and spend time with. Tried making friends but a lot of people I come across just want to use me for something in real life, other than that I'm a person of color and the town where I live is not that welcoming to outsiders so they don't want to talk and socialize with me or someone with my skin color, race and religion as I tried hanging out with people.

And obviously no relationships so it's just me all alone, all by myself as I try to pass time by watching movies, TV shows and writing something or studying but now can't even do that since it's summer and have a lot of time by myself.

I'm an emotional mess and looking for someone I can talk to a lot and often have calls with on any app before sleep because this pain of loneliness is consuming me more and more and I don't want to fade away.....

I just can't get myself to sleep. I keep feeling this emptiness, this void. I am not sure what to do... Nothing helps. I keep feeling like talking to someone... 🙈🥺

Hi everyone,

This is the second post concerning my depression that I am posting on reddit.

I've had Tinder and other dating apps a few times. I never got any matches or likes. I then thought that Tinder and other dating apps determine my attractiveness. I then thought that my attractiveness determine my worth, likeablity, and success in all sectors of my life.

I never also had a girlfriend while all men seem to have one.

Reading about how ugliness determines my worth and how can I accept my ugliness on Quora made me extremely sick. It was so hard to read those stuff.

What should I do then? When I am very ugly? I am scared that I going to alone forever, no one will going to like me or find me attractive. I am also scared of failing in my life due to my ugliness. And it is so hard for me to accept that I am doomed in life.

Please help, I feel extremely sick, and I hate myself so much and always pity myself and compare myself with others. And start to curse myself on how I am not attractive like everyone else. Please help.

I'm 19 an have been extremely depressed in the last year. I graduated top of my class and got into a great school, but fell in with the wrong crowd and started smoking weed and experimenting with shrooms my first year of college. I only really tried shrooms once and didn't like it, and I smoked weed pretty consistently but I've since quit and don't plan on ever going back. My 2nd semester ended up being a disaster because of my depression and at the last minute I had to withdrawal from my classes to save my gpa bc I couldn't handle school. I've decided college isn't for me and the only job I can think of that I would ever want to do is become a firefighter. Other than my mental health issues I would be a great candidate so my plan was to work for a year or 2 in order to reign in my depression, after which I would apply to become a firefighter. But I recently learned all of the fire departments near me use a polygraph test in their hiring process.

Because I was stupid and tried drugs when I had no direction in life, there is no chance I'll be able to become a firefighter or work in any government job. I've heard they may overlook the weed but the time I tried shrooms is a dealbreaker. I'm devastated. That was the only job I could ever imagine liking and I ruined my chances with one stupid fucking decision. I don't see any point in moving forward anymore.

hi, 15F here. when it comes to dealing with my parents manipulation/gaslighting i always tell myself that their words aren't true and that one day ill be free of them when i finally get to move out. but no matter how true that seems especially right now im just SO sick of my mom, and none of my friends dont really get it since most of them have close relationships with their parents. 4 days ago my mom and i got into an argument that she instigated over a SHIRT of all things and ever since then shes been acting super petty about it and ignoring me. i wish i could do smthn about it but my dads honestly no better, he always takes her side and expects me to be the bigger person even though my mom is the literal adult im the situation. and because of what happened i cant even hang out with my friends anymore because she told me to not even bother asking if i could, and it just makes me feel really since i have a recital next week and my friends in the class with me relied on going to my house so they wouldnt have to walk all the way home. i honestly just want to see if anyone ever had a similar situation with their parents and if they were ever able to find a way to deal with it (my parents dont believe depression exists and kinda look down on mental health in general, so i really dont know what to do)

I had a really bad nightmare last night, and I would really appreciate a kind voice I could call and fall asleep to tonight.

This post is marked NSFW, but that's because I'd prefer to talk to an adult, not because I'm looking for a NSFW conversation.

If you'd like to do a call, then please send me a chat or a DM.

Thank you.

Hey, I (20M) am going through existential crisis. I had big fear of death, mainly of my parents(thank God they are alive today) when I was just a kid and then when I was 13 I had existential crisis about existence of God and ended up believing in him.

In past 7-8 moths I had existential crisis about God again and about purpose of life and mainly about free will and freedom of choice. I don't question existence of God anymore because I managed to take a leap of faith and believe in him.

My biggest problem now is question of free will. I started reading about existential philosophy because I know it talks about freedom and freedom of choice, I also started reading "Man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankl but I still constantly think about freedom of choice. I think about all logically possible ways for it to be true. I think about our thoughts just popping in our consciousness, I think about our decision and thought that comes with that decision. Did that thought precede our awareness of decision or did our awareness of decision create that thought? When was exact moment that we made a decision? Who are "we" that are making a decision? Our brain? Consciousness?

I have obsessive thoughts about this often. I wanted to know if there is someone who reads this and recognizes their past self in this? I need someone who now believes in freedom of choice, who managed to get through this and who now lives fulfilled life? Did you find your purpose? Will things get better?

I finish uni next week Monday. People in other courses are winning design awards, getting placements. No one on my design course has. My course also didn’t do placement. I feel unprepared for the real world. I know I’m not the best at what I do, which is hard to say, as I truly work very hard. But ultimately can’t push what you don’t have, I’ll never match up to the people with talent. I’m very socially anxious and have never had a job. I just don’t know what I’m going to do, I feel useless. :(

I just got off a really long night shift, I’ve been up for over 48 hours and have the worst stress headache ever and got home to my room being absolutely trashed by my partner. Would anyone want to chat/smoke while I try to wind down and clean up before I go to sleep?

I don’t know what to do anymore. When I went to school it was easier masking my depression by being with people, but after I graduated everything went downhill. I feel so lonely. I feel like I know a lot of people, but I don’t know if I can call them friends. I just lost my best friend two days ago, and I don’t want to go on anymore. I don’t see any point in living. I don’t enjoy life currently, and I don’t believe that I will achieve anything. I just wish I could call someone. I went through my contacts but didn’t really find someone that wouldn’t be weird to call. I’m just tired

Hi, my dms are open for anyone who needs someone to talk to, vent, advice or whatever. Please keep it SFW. See you soon, bye.

So this is my first post about this topic but I will do my best to sum things up.

So I (M 24) have been feeling really let down about how life has been going for me lately, I find myself in a world where things don't really connect with me in particular romantic relationships. I'm a gay dude who has really never felt a connection with anybody, I am not particularly "handsome or dashing" I would say I am ok looking but not noticeable really enough to stand out and grab anyone's attention.

Lately I have been getting a driving urge to feel connected to a guy in a more romantic way, Every relationship that I have had has been quite problematic and predicable. It always follows the exact same route "match on dating apps, text for a bit, go on a date and then get into a boring mundane relationship. I don't feel anyone has any passion or enthusiasm no spark to connect with. I come from Ireland its a small enough country as it is yet I don't have the money to see the world so it feels very claustrophobic I just wish for something more then a relationship to pass the time.

I know it sounds silly and I have been telling myself over and over to try and get over it but I really just wish for some sort of natural encounter with a person a breath of fresh air somebody who actually will treat me with respect, are fun to be around and actually show they care. I don't want my 20s to be full of regret of never being able to have a youthful fun romance going on adventures with somebody who sees the world with as much wonder and beauty as I do. I guess I am a hopeless romantic at the end of the day and its so isolating because every other person I see only seems to be after the same thing which is hooking up or nothing serious.

Now I can already hear people saying to meet people "face to face" and I agree I would love to say yes that is an option for me but well I don't really give off signs I like guys I mean people look at me and just see another dude and I cant tell in person if guys are into men either. All the type of guys which I like tend to not stand out they don't go to gay bars (neither do I) because really there are very few that have a "traditional masculine" setting. They blend in and it becomes impossible to know who likes what, I would also say that no man in my entire life has ever approached me, hit on me or flirted with me in any way I have never had an encounter in person just on dating apps and it makes me wonder why am I really that unattractive. I have done everything to try and put myself out there I dance the night away, laugh and smile and I try and make myself available for somebody to come over and chat but nobody ever does.

I was told to focus on myself and they will just come but they never do, If I am doing something wrong or if there is something I can try or change please tell me because honestly I am really feeling a bit hopeless when it comes to these sort of situations.

Im not looking for a Greek god of a man just somebody who looks well, takes care of themselves, is confident and treats me with the same amount of effort as I put in. I like slightly nerdy open minded guys and really I know its a bit cliché but the only physical thing for me would be slightly taller, I am 5ft 8 and this is just because of well I feel I a guy who is just a tad bit more dominant looking then myself considering I do have quite a soft baby face and features I like to feel safe. I'm not talking 6ft+ club literally it could only be an inch or two and I would be happy. Lately I have been having a lot of "fantasies" about falling for an American guy because they fit the loud, confident and charismatic personality that drives me but again that's probably just going to be a fantasy.

I really appreciate it if anyone has taken the time to read this and listening to my feelings. Any words are welcome and please be as honest as possible (not rude) just I would like to hear what people think anyway thank you.

Hey (22 M) i did some deplorable and disgusting things to people i loved (girlfriends) there was no physical harm such as SA or stuff like that, but i hurt them anyway and i can't live with that today.

i'am seeing a psychatrist because i want to deal with all the things i've done and all the things that happened to me during my childhood. I want to become a better man, a good man, achieve redemption and never hurt anyone the way i hurt them. I am willing to work on myself, put some effort in the process, but changing won't erase what i did. Becoming a good person won't make the people i hurt forget about what i did, they won't be feeling better.

i can't deal with that, i spend all my time thinking about what i did and the way they felt when when they found out about my horrible deeds. i know i'll be caring that for the rest of my life and i can't stand those thoughts. I thought about ending it, killing myself so I wouldn’t have to think about my past, but i know i'll be causing even more pain.

i'am stuck and i dont know what to do.

I (21 F) just need to vent I’m so sad. I came out of a year long relationship four months ago and I felt nothing. The relationship had ran its course and there were a lot of issues where I felt like I wasn’t being prioritised or treated right so when I ended it I didn’t feel upset but relieved.

This feels so stupid to say but I got a new crush very recent and I feel like I’m dying inside. Two weeks ago (yes I know two weeks can you believe I’ve developed feelings for someone in this short space of time) I met someone at my university ball and I went back to his house and he cooked me food at 3am. I invited him over the following night and we had a lot of fun together. He complimented me kept asking me “do you realise how gorgeous you are?” And telling me I had pretty eyes. He asked what I was doing the following week because he wanted to hang out again and making jokes about how will he cope without me when we’re both in our hometowns for the summer. At that time I wasn’t looking for anything serious because I didn’t want to go through the mental effort I did with my previous relationship.

The next day though I couldn’t stop thinking about how this new guy made me feel. I felt so pretty and appreciated. I kept thinking about when we were sleeping he’d made sure we were holding hands as he was cuddling me and I’d wake up a few times to him pulling me closer in his sleep and kissing me on the head. We didn’t text at all that weekend and the following week I asked him if he’d come over which he said yes so he stayed over at mine again making jokes he’d buy me dinner sometime etc. again the cuddles were amazing. I asked him why he doesn’t text me so much and he said he just never texts anyone he prefers calling but nobody is into that. Anyway in short we have not texted since, I did message him a few days ago asking to see me this week and he said he’s not sure if he’ll be in town but if he is then yes. Not to be a creep but I just happened to see he is in town a few days ago from Snapchat. Anyway he didn’t text me and I feel that it’s just over. Worst part is I feel so silly and so stupid for catching feelings this quickly and getting obsessive. I just haven’t felt this way in such a long time and I don’t think I even liked my ex this much at any point of the relationship . All because he complimented me and cuddled me. I can’t describe it. I’ve been cuddled by guys before but the way this guy held me I just felt so safe and content in his arms. It just felt like a physical chemistry I can’t put words to. When we were talking I felt he was so sweet and funny and to me, I think he’s such a gorgeous human being.

We have exams next week so we probably won’t have time to meet up and at the end of next week we both move back home. I’d rather not put myself out there and lose my dignity by texting him again as I am always the one to text first. I just get the feeling he doesn’t want to see me again. I’m so sad. I’m so sad I don’t get to see him and I’m so sad I let my guard down like this and got so carried away with my emotions. It’s just been so long since I’ve felt something and I just really like being around this guy. How do I get over this feeling? And quickly? I have so many deadlines on college work due soon and I just want to go back to being me. I know I don’t need this guy to make me happy and go to sleep at night to make me feel good but I just really really wish I could see him again and I hate that I feel this way.

I want to be a good person, but I feel like my parents are negatively affecting me because of their antisocial behaviours - lack of understanding, arguments, lack of true support. What can I do to make sure I don't fall into their trap and remain a good and improving person? I just feel like this is unfair, that kind people/people I like have kind parents who truly love them and do the most they can to help their child, and that I don't and have to rely on myself to take action in doing the things I want. I've lost most of my friends because I've been copying my parents' behaviours as i was young, but now after realising, I try to reverse that effect. What can I do?