Hi y'all, I am diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. I'm currently in a job where I work from home five days a week. I'm having trouble being at work for the whole day; it's been like this since I started just over a year ago. I was medicated for a bit, but now I'm not, as the medication makes me feel like I'm having a panic attack all day long. I'm really struggling to get through a day of work, and everyone around me, such as family and friends, just get annoyed at me and tell me I just need to try harder. I feel extremely alone being at home all day. I try my hardest with this job to keep my partner and I afloat, as she is currently studying at uni and working casually, but I am the main income provider.

All of my friends from back home now have their own houses and seem to be doing fine compared to me. I've tried speaking with doctors about this and I really want help, but it always seems like I'm just throwing thousands of dollars down the drain to get nowhere. It took years for me to even get a diagnosis for my ADHD, and the only reason this ended up happening was because, back in 2019, I tried to off myself and the doctors in the mental ward at the hospital said I have it. They also said that being undiagnosed might have been the cause of the depressive episodes.

I genuinely feel trapped in my life. I have no social life in Melbourne. I've never been surrounded by so many people yet felt so alone. I really hate my job, but I'm scared that if I leave this job for another one, I may end up hating it like this one and just go back to calling in sick all the time and they won’t be as lenient with me calling in sick so much. I also struggle with my work. I struggle with the reading sometimes, and I also struggle with the fact that I'm in a role where I need to be writing email responses to customers and sending internal emails to operators. I feel extremely out of my depth, even though this is an entry-level role.

I've always struggled with focusing, not getting overwhelmed, and actually showing up to work and school, but I don’t know. Any advice? Please and thank you.

Sorry if the spelling or punctuation is bad as i said i am dyslexic and i've used chat GPT to assist with making it make more sense.

I'm a student in the last year of high school and I've been having some issues with studying and choosing what to do in university: now that I know what I want to study after school, I'm having a lot of problems getting the motivation needed to study.

For context, I'm an IT student and it's been about a year and a half since I've discovered that I don't like studying Informatics and all. I don't have any certificate or have never been to a therapist before (I do want to go eventually, I just don't know how to approach my parents about it, even though BELIEVE ME, I tried) so I don't really know if I have ADHD or something else, but I experience a lot of the symptoms that my friends (who were diagnosed with autism and ADHD) have and I experience the same struggles while studying that they do. Also, I don't know if that counts as proof, but I heard that the raads test is reliable? So, I took it and got a score of 155. Don't know if that says anything, I hope my suspicions are founded.

Do you guys have any suggestions for studying with ADHD? I really don't know what to do, I just feel like I wanna get over with it and just skip the year so that I can go study psycology because that's what I actually care about.

Thank you for reading all this btw, love you all <3 Hope this post doesn't go against the rules lmao

TLDR: I'm an IT student who's struggling with getting the motivation to study, any advice?

So, hi guys, idk how to start this. Guess it's nice to mention english is my second language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

I'm F25 and I feel like my life is ruined. I've been diagnosed for 7-ish years now and am unmedicated because despite the diagnosis, I still need a technical report for meds and those are extremely expensive here in my country (and getting them could take a few years as well, and could potentially bring me harm in the future w marriage, kids, grown up decisions and all).

When I was a child, I was diagnosed as a gifted kid and i mean actually proper diagnosis. I had to undergo treatments, several different doctors, several different tests. I learned how to read at age 3, graduated high school at 15, graduated college at 19, you get the picture. I was always ahead of the curve, but the fun (not really) twist is that I can hardly learn by sitting in a classroom, so i'm self taught in pretty much everything.

The problem now is that I keep trying and trying and trying and am going nowhere. I feel like my life is ruined, feel like my life is over even though it's just starting. I had so much potential, SO MUCH potential. Like it's extremely unreal to me that I can speak 5 languages fluently but I'm unable to understand verbal instructions unless they're slowly repeated to me multiple times. I can't look people in the eyes if I wanna have a shot at understanding and processing what they're saying, I have a hard time starting tasks and/or keeping up with them, even the ones that are very simple. And it's not like I forget them or anything, I'm painfully aware the whole time, I just can't bring myself to do it, it's like there's this huge steel wall around said thing and i'm climbing and climbing and climbing but can't get to what needs to be done. A simple email or slack notification makes me as anxious as a prey being hunted. Companies and bosses treat me like a misbehaving dog, a hard of hearing person or just an overall lazy deadbeat and it's destroying me. I have so many dreams, so many things I wanna do and achieve and explore and so much potential to do so but i just can't do it no matter how hard I try.

I have a hard time falling asleep, I have an even harder time waking up. Taking a shower consumes the hell out of me, seeing friends means I need days to recover afterwards, jobs are getting harder and harder to keep (I went from working almost 4 years for the same big tech company to being fired 3 years in a row from 3 different companies), it's hard for me to explain my train of thought during work meetings, my room is a constant mess, I suck at self care, I suck at human interactions (like texting back sometimes feels like I'm about to get shot), i'm terrible at keeping things organized BUT I TRY SO DAMN HARD.

And it's frustrating, I don't know what to do anymore and I don't know how to do it. All I do is try try and try and I feel like there's something wrong with me, feels like everyone knows how to be a functional human being, everyone knows the big secret to navigate life effortlessly meanwhile I'm struggling to wash my hair. I feel like a failure, I feel like a disappointment and more than anything I feel like a damn fraud. Seems like I'm doomed for life and this is all I'll ever be.

So please please please if you have anything that can help, be it any kind of advice or tip, a thread, an exercise or even words of comfort. I just need something, anything.

Let’s be honest. Who else has started brushing their teeth, and then wandered into another room and got distracted while brushing? And then half an hour later you realize you still have a toothbrush in your mouth and you didn’t finish brushing?

My solution to this is a toothpaste that burns after like 3 or 4 minutes. I can walk into another room, get distracted, and then I get forcefully reminded that I must finish brushing and rinse my mouth ASAP else it starts to hurt. If I stay in the bathroom there’s no pain because I finish within the 2 minutes.

This is not an advert but I use Crest plus Scope whitening toothpaste. There’s some limit to whitening toothpastes that actually do more harm than good, and this one is on the verge of still being good. I’ll edit the post and add the list when I find it.

Edit: it’s based on this post in r/Dentistry, where crest scope is 124

For context I am a female in my early twenties and have been taking ADHD medication daily for the past 3 to 4 years now ever since my diagnosis.

I have been steady on 70mg Elvanse for at least 2 years. Before that I had lower dosages of Elvanse and other stimulants.

For the past month/month and half, it feels like the medication is not working at all. This supposedly is a normal thing for some people after continuous usage. At the time, the prescribing psychiatrist told me I can try and take controlled/scheduled breaks when this happens. It’s something I tried and prefer not to do again.

It’s as if my brain is on auto pilot mode, I am either hungry (as in I want to eat EVERYTHING at once) or not hungry AT ALL. I feel painfully underestimated all the time. Am not sleeping well at all. Emotionally all over the place, no concentration/focus on anything etc etc. It feels like I am not taking any medication at all even though I still take it every day.

I just want to know if more people experience this on Elvanse as sudden and for longer periods of time. And if you do, what helps you to get through?

I (23F) always have goals of doing better with self-care, working out, reading more books, bettering myself etc but I have such a hard time remaining consistent. I will do it for like a week before I just quit it lol I really want to work on being more disciplined but with work, life, etc. It can be so hard. How do yall remain focused personally? I want to form better habits this year.

Hi, colledge student here. I need your help? Does any of you have an active and a healthy social life? I must say I'm pretty excentric myself, even when I look at my photos I can look kindoff wierd. I use a lot of hand gestures which look creepy IMO, and I've even been bullied for being wierd by my classmates.

I haven't really had a social life since 5 years ago, when I finished elementary school. I can become very awkward when I'm in a large group of new people and oftentimes I sit in the corner not knowing what to say or how to approach others.

This all brings me into trouble. I think waiting for someone to approach me is way too pasive to bring any results. But I simply don't know how to apporach people around campus, in clubs, in the cafeteria etc. Is there a way I can start talking to strangers. I know I must do so in order to meet anyone but I don't know what to say nor how to approach because most people already have friends and go out with them, meanwhile most my acquaintances like to hang out via discord and text messages and don't really like going out but I despise online friendships. I want someone I can talk to face to face.

So if you have any advice I would appreciate your help. But please without "join activities where you can engage with other people" because that is not available for me. I also have no access to meetup events in my town.

I’m partly venting and partly want to share my journey as I think of of us have struggled w educational systems. I missed tons of high school, took 8 years to finish college.

My thesis class was last spring and I kept putting it off because there was no hard deadline- you could turn it in up to 2 years later. Seeing my classmates finish with no issues was alienating. I felt like I was dumb or there was something seriously wrong with me.

This issue led me my therapist to diagnosis me with ADHD which was validated by a psychiatrist who gave me a Ritalin prescription.

FINALLY I was able to start writing and organize my thoughts in a semi-logical manner. It’s still been a huge struggle but at least I’m getting through it now.

I have realized that my ideal workflow as someone w ADHD, for any big project, is as follows. I’m wondering if folks can relate, or if this helps anyone with their own work.

1. Dump all the ideas out. We’re creative, use that in this stage. If you don’t do this phase you’ll never start.

2. Have a casual chat w someone you trust about your ideas. There is no pressure here, just explore. Take notes.

3. Organize the ideas with post it notes or whatever system works best for you.

4. This is the hardest part. You gotta write it, there’s no choice. Do body doubling or get a friend to keep you on track by telling you to get back to work. añYou CAN do it. You just have to force yourself even if finishing things feels like absolutely hell and a very emotional process.

5. Get a trusted advisor to edit your work. Just trust them, don’t take it personally and do whatever they say. Otherwise, you will be stuck on the last step. Tell your advisor this is difficult for you and you need to know exactly what’s left to do to get the thesis/project/whatever approved.

6. Do what they say and turn it in before you keep overthinking everything. Remember, “a good project is a finished project”.

Hello! 36M here.

Long story short: diagnosed over 2yrs ago. I’ve tried different meds during that time, and I’ve been on and off meds as well (trying to reduce the number of meds or telling myself that my 2 diagnosis are BS).

Stimulants work wonders for me, except when they don’t: when I take them for too long. They mess with my sleep and make me anxious. Worth mentioning that I don’t take them over the weekend. I’m just anxious about meds affecting my physical health.

I asked my doc to try guanfacine as a non-stimulant option. For the first two weeks its was good and bad mixed together: good, because my anxiety went away and I felt nice and mellow, difficult to trigger me. Bad, because:

1. Severe dryness of skin, eyes and mouth
2. It was too mellow. Sex didn’t taste as good. Music didn’t taste as good. Working out didn’t taste as good. Nothing was exciting anymore.
3. It didn’t help with my adhd symptoms at all. Difficult to focus, difficult to start anything, fidgeting all the time with the feeling of spinning wheels.

So I stopped guanfacine and kept going on stimulants, until I was told that guanfacine is a good combo with stimulants for those who later on feel overstimulated.

I tried guanfacine with different stimulants and it all felt like a superhuman. Straight and focused, no anxiety, with appreciation of life. So no.2 above went away.

it would be almost too good to be true, except that: My eyes and skin feel like a sandpaper on guanfacine. I’ve been trying to use eye drops, tear gel, using different skin care products daily, nothing helps with it…

Will it go away? Do you have similar side effects on guanfacine?

Hello, so I (22F) recently started taking Strattera for my ADHD, and it's actually been really helpful. My brain is quiet and I can actually get up now and choose to do activities instead of just sitting in my bed all day unable to do anything. The problem is I can't really tell if it's effecting my body poorly or not. I have these really dark eye bags now, and these really intense dark spots between my eyes and nose that I didn't have before. I have headaches sometimes after taking the medication and have lost some weight; other then that I feel completely fine. I don't know if this helps but I only take 25 mg capsules. Anyways I was just wondering if other people had similar experiences and if something is wrong and I just don't know it.

Edit: wasn't trying to ask medical advice, so sorry if it comes off that way. I just wanted to know if people experienced similar things, or my anxiety was making me blow my symptoms out of proportion lol

I (20M) have lived the same cycle of meeting new people, getting really close, and then drifting away from them my whole life. I have social anxiety because people keep calling out how weird I am and my mind goes blank. I must have dyspraxia because i move around weird and uncoordinated. I zone out when people talk to me and I forget a lot of the stuff people tell me. Dont even think about me remembering you birthday or other small details. I feel horrible about myself. I have a stable career and a long distance Girlfriend who loves me very much, but i dont like who I am. Is there any chance meds will make things better? How do you feel better about yourself when you so clearly can't function in society?

Summary: trying to figure out if a lower than usual adult starting dose of vyvanse may be a good idea for me- and also what would that be? What is your experience?

I was told that the usual adult starting dose for adderall XR is 20mg. I was prescribed 10mg to start off because I am very aware/anxious about bodily sensations (think like, feeling my heart rate increase). The 10mg didn’t feel like it was doing much (but in much hindsight, it kind of did) so they switched me to 15mg. I took it for about a week before I had prominent side effects. It caused my heart rate to jump to like 135 bpm in the middle of the day (the last two days I took it) while I was doing a usual activity where my heart rate would normally only be like 85bpm. I took a break from what I was doing, but my heart rate still stayed elevated for some time. This made me incredibly anxious because I worry about stuff like that, so I stopped taking it.

The thing is, at first the 15mg was not causing that to happen. This started several days into trying that dose. I aged out of my insurance right as I was going through that, but the plan was for me to take the 15mg dose for a week and see how it made me feel. The first few days it felt very similar to the 10mg where I had no side effects so my psychiatrist thought it would be safe to try the regular adult starting dose of 20mg. I never ended up actually taking that dose as those two days where my heart started racing on the 15mg freaked me out too badly.

I am wondering if asking about vyvanse instead may be something to explore? I have heard that it may have less side effects than adderall XR.

I was thinking about maybe also starting at a low dose for an adult like I did with the adderall XR, since I am already predisposed to weird health anxiety. What is the normal adult starting dose for vyvanse? Does anyone know what a comparable and still potentially effective lower starting dose for adults might be be?

Hey everyone,

My problem is one I guess some of y'all have, I have a really big problem reading the academic articles that my professors make me read. I get tired very quickly, and the ironic thing is that I truly am interested in the topics.

When I read, I get distracted by my own thoughts, and even the concerta doesn't help. For example I'm procrastinating a homework abt checking an academic book on Latin American foreign relations, I get bored to quickly, I get anxious that I'm not doing something else, time passes very slowly and so.

When I read with music put on, I get distracted by the lyrics. I haven't built up the tools/abilites to enjoy my reading and It feels very daunting to make the reading essay on top of reading the articles.

What are your tips/tricks without drugs to do this????

Has anyone here figured out how to be alone without unraveling? I find it depends day to day but I can’t be alone for more than two hours without feeling either depression or anxiety. Usually I feel physically uncomfortable to the point that I keep moving positions and rooms in my house. I can have some things I want/need to do but I don’t feel motivated enough, or if I do them they don’t give me the dopamine I need to not want to crawl out of my skin. I’m genuinely tired of this and worried about how I will cope with life after leaving my parents home (I’m 18 and about to leave for college in about 6 months). I usually call this boredom but it can really become very harmful and distressing for me. I can’t handle days with no plans or responsibilities that require me to go out and do things. I’ve been coping by making as many plans with friends as possible and it’s working alright so far but I know that isn’t very sustainable. I’m on meds and at first they made the feeling go away but it inevitable came back (and only briefly is gone after I bump a dose up).

Hello new on here. Got diagnosed November 24 had a month of Lisdexamphetamine on 30mg, now day 15 of 50mg. 30mg quietened my head/chatter/more calm, not reactive, pressure headaches gone but decided with psych to up the dose as no other improvements (in mood elevation, memory recall, doing tasks, listening etc). I feel like I’ve had more lows, recently increased anxiety, quite negative thoughts, some horrible split second ones and feeling a bit hopeless as heard so much good stuff about it. Am I being impatient? Today I feel a bit 🫨🫨 way too like I’m on a drug (funny that), very odd and over-stimulated mentally. I’ve got 13 days left on this dose and will see it out, but thinking the dose must be too high. It’s confusing as I thought dopamine increase would not cause lows😞🙈 Thanks for any thoughts🤗

So I’ve been deliberating for months as to whether I should actually go to a doctor for my symptoms. I finally made an appointment a few weeks ago with a doctor and they referred me to a BHC who had me answer 6 forms about anxiety, depression, and, ADHD and 2 forms for people in my life to fill out as well. I got all of them back and they told me to contact my pcp because they thought adhd may be a possibility.

So I finally see my pcp and he said that I very likely have ADHD which was actually a bit of a surprise because I’ve always been so worried I was somehow lying to myself. He then wrote me a prescription for guanfacine and drug tested me. He said my blood pressure was too high for him to give me stimulants, it was 135/77. But I know it just gets a bit elevated when I go to the doctor because of nerves. Typically my blood pressure is very good. So I’m just wondering is this normal? And what are your experiences being on guanfacine for primarily inattentive ADHD symptoms?

Just wondering if anyone can help me understand how to determine the difference between general brain fog and ADHD? For example memory issues can be attributed to ADHD as well as brain fog, so how do you know which one is caused by which? Same thing with reading issues, working memory, etc.

Im 21 and I recently got assessed and have add, they gave me medication but I'm kind of stuck. Ove been stuck in a rut for a couple of years now since ive been so dysfuntional I'm not sure where to start. I'm unemployed but I've had jobs in the past, however they all led to extreme distress and burnout as i didn't know I had add and in a space full of people who just seem to 'get it' when I didn't is hard. I also really struggle with maths and studying, as I've had trauma related to being called stupid by my teachers, pulling my own hair out when learning and having a meltdown because I genuinely couldn't understand a math problem.

I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to feel like I'm lazy and useless. But I want to do it the right way. I don't need to prove myself to anyone, I want to be a functioning adult but I also don't want to burn out but I'm not used to studying and I don't know how to keep a schedule. I also have really bad anxiety and can't controll my extreme emotions, plus having add makes me make careless mistakes and I frequently misunderstanding people and then can't properly articulate myself leading to arguments, it makes socisocial studying worse.

Is there any first step i could take?

I'm a postdoc in STEM, on the tenure track job market this cycle. I got diagnosed with ADHD a little while ago, was on meds, and now I'm off meds. Can't really tell you why. Just happened.

For the better part of the last decade, I feel like I've been struggling with focus on concentration issues. Unable to sit and do my work, read papers, keep track of thoughts, ideas, etc. Just thinking about the amount of work I need to put in/ needed to have put in, in terms of research, and career goals gives me some sort of ADHD paralysis.

I struggle with even basic things, like not knowing how to keep track of the things I read or the ideas I have. I don't have one system that works for me. I can't decide on simple things like what notebook to use, how I will go back and refer to these things that I write down and how to keep everything in some sort of a memory bank. I write something down, and then I'm like "now what? How the fuck am I going to keep track of what's on this piece of paper? How am I going to remember to look at it later?"

This is really affecting my everyday life, and I'm just unable to get shit done. My diagnosis was fairly recent, and I'm trying to find a psychiatrist now, but short of that, if folks can give me advice on what to do, how to help myself, I will be forever grateful 😭😭

I suffer a lot of self shame from too much porn, impulsive sex with people I shouldn’t have been with, holding back my academic/financial life, and my relationship with my higher power. I’m very grateful my doctor has me on Adderall because as long as the medication is working, I have no compulsion to open pornography and have risky sexual relations. I would like to stop watching porn entirely, but sometimes at night when the medication is worn off, I want to wind down and get a sexual urge. What’s great is that I could still get down with someone if I want to, works fine on the medication, but it’s no longer impulsive/compulsive at all.

I am going to immensely thank my psychiatrist as this is something I’ve struggled with for a while.

Too make a long story as short as possible…..

I was clinically diagnosed with ADHD as a child around 7 years old. I was prescribed Ritalin and Dexedrine throughout my childhood. I despised the feeling I got from stimulants, and would always try to spit it out or not take it when I could. Around 16 I was able to convince my patents I didn’t need it.

As many of you know the symptoms persisted untreated, during my college years straterra became available and I was prescribed such, I did not like the lets call it “physiological” effect this medication had.

Since then I have done my best to cope un-medicated. But as I get older it becomes much more draining to cope. I have recently learned of guanfacine and clonidine which are not stimulants, nor act in the physiological realm. I’m very eager to try these. However I’m confused if these are availible in Canada for adults. I have limited access to a family doctor due to being in Canada. I am seeing several online ADHD clinics but I’m worried they are just back door big Pharma mills liking to prescribe stimulants. Does anyone know of a route I could take to try gaunfacine or clonidine?

TIA

How do you reward yourself after doing something annoying like cleaning out your fridge or cleaning your room? Not really limited to ADHD but I took my vyvanse and felt somewhat relieved that I was able to clean out my fridge after months and I have nothing else to do for now, I am not necessarily hungry but I want to something relieving as to reward myself.

I started taking 20mg adderall xr. Complete symptoms relief for the first time in my life. After around 6 hours it wear off and all symptoms were back with a vengeance. I was having a hard time the second half of the day. I started eating breakfast and taking it. Now, I don't go thru the bad feeling, but now the only symptoms relief is a little less anxiety. I'm back to losing all my things all day and can't follow movies or TV shows again. Anybody have any advice? I tried taking it on an empty stomach again after about a week, but same thing. No real symptoms relief other than less anxiety.

Today the hyper fixation payed off! I'm a truck driver and stuck in Dallas for the weekend. Yesterday I took a shower and told myself tomorrow we do laundry. Well woke up around 9am and procrastinated till 10. Got the laundry together went inside the truck stop and got it started! As that was doing it's thing I went back to my truck and cleaned! Alarm went off to say the wash cycle was done. Went back in to transfer and with out missing a beat went back to cleaning my truck! As of right now I'm done cleaning and waiting for the dryer to finish! Next step is getting it put away.

Hi was just wondering if anyone had any advice, opinions that may help. I am a 37 year old woman in the Uk, I’m a mental health nurse (which is relevant) I have been paying privately to see a psychologist who i see about twice a month and have been for two year, she knows me pretty well and has a lot of experience working in the nhs with people who have ADHD and autism. She said about a year ago that she thinks I am on the spectrum however now says she was wrong and last week she said that in hind sight she thought i 100% have adhd, we were talking about problems that i was having at work such as focusing, remembering things and something that has really started affecting my job is i am massively struggling to concentrate in the nursing office as we have more staff now and they are all talking together, we have a new beep system so there is random beeping going off constantly and i literally cannot do my notes or paperwork in there as it make me want to rip my skin off, i asked my manager if i could wear loop background only noise cancelling plugs to help and she said no as i had no diagnosis or anything to justify and other staff would start wearing headphones and they would be listening to music which obviously would be unsafe and unprofessional. i accepted this and i will try to manage. My question is, in the nhs there is a big wait list to get assessed for adhd or autism, my psychologist said it would be worth it as she felt i may benefit from medication and it may assist me to make work a touch less difficult for me. I am tempted to book a GP apt to discuss asking to start the process but getting a GP appointment is hard and i had a big battle with them about prescribing me anti depressants and they only did because im a mental health nurse and was able to firmly advocate for myself. I cant really be bothered if getting a diagnosis isn’t going to effect anything.

Sorry this is long winded or not appropriate, any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.

Edit, I asked a psychiatrist colleague this and they said that in America for example they have a massive over diagnosis and prescribing issue and the uk has a massive under-diagnosis and prescription issue likely due to the difference between private and nhs healthcare. People are more likely to prescribe and diagnose if they are financially benefiting as opposed to being penalised for spending nhs budgets. So does anyone have any experience getting diagnosed and prescribed medication in the nhs especially in my age group, or can offer insight as to process wait time as i may look in to private options although this is t likely an option financially as to be honest without the chance of being prescribed i cant see it being beneficial however the thought that there may be a medication that can help has got my hopes up as to be honest i have felt my whole life has been a struggle and not worth it burden in relation to my brain and mood, anxiety etc and i have just accepted that this is the way things are (not suicidal just apathetic) if any one needs any further information that may help such as symptoms levels just message me as I’m not sure how ‘impacted’ i am by this and how much is unrelated.

Update i have gone private it was actually a lot cheaper than i was expecting, like approx £475 but could be split over three, for the assessment and diagnosis then i Think around £280 for a treatment consult, medication titration and stabilisation then refer back to GP, i actually have my assessment on the 11th, my hopes are so high right now i hope its not a scam, it doesn’t seem to be.

Thank you all for your help i would likely have been putting this off for years without you lot!!!

You have all been amazing and really helpful by the way, thank you so much and i hope you have a lovely weekend.

I know we can’t literally just decide what to hyper-fixate on, and that it’s a largely involuntary thing our brains just kinda do, but I’m curious; have any of you ever been able to figure out what conditions cause a hyper-fixation on something? Have you been able to replicate certain conditions to encourage a hyper-fixation on something you want to?

The reason I ask is I’ve got a lot of really menial and tedious work to do that I HAVE to get done soon, but it’s for myself and has no real deadline or outside accountability. So I’m wondering if there’s a way to set conditions up for myself that allow me to hyper-fixate on this task. I’d be so much further in life if I could just decide what to obsess over lol

My (50M) wife(45F) and I have a variation of the interaction way too often, and I am trying to be more introspective about my role in it, but today I just lost it and would not take the blame and told her she was being an asshole.

She asked me to go to the store for some chicken for a crockpot recipe. She said, and I quote "Keep an eye out for any discounted specials, like the pre-cut tenders."

So I go to the store, and the first thing I notice is there are no tenders of any kind. Then I see the Manager's Special discount, which is on thin sliced breasts. We are planning on chopping, and cooking the chicken in sauce, and the pieces appeared to be large tenders, and they were on sale. I got them.

I get home, and my wife is upset. She says I clearly didn't listen to her because she NEVER said thin sliced breasts were ok. She then made remarks about how I am a grown man and act like a child who can't be trusted.

I said I followed her instructions, and if thin sliced breasts were off the list then she should have said that, she only said "like tenders". She again said an adult should be able to figure that out. She knows my condition and how my brain works but she thinks it's a crutch. I offered to go back and get the correct chicken and she called me an agent of chaos, that all I want to do is cause it.

I called her an asshole, and that I followed her directions only to be attacked the moment I got in the door. I plan to apologize for raising my voice and for calling her that, but how much am I to blame for the misunderstanding in the first place?

Edit: crockpot not crackpot

Diagnosed at 37 years old and Vyvanse has been a life changer . Suffered so long with anxiety and adhd meds have calmed it down, I haven’t had a panic attack since starting meds. I remember as a child I was constantly playing with my hands and cracking my fingers; my parents took me to a doctor who said it was anxiety. I look back now and see I was stimming -my psychiatrist also agrees. As a result at 37 I’m self conscious about my hands as they are crooked and skinny from the cracking I did as a kid. I’ve also started pulling at my skin on my neck and I’m getting dark spots. Anyone else do damage to their body with stimming ? (Not sure if damage is the right word, English is not my first language so very limited )

I’m not sleepy, yet my body lacks the energy to stay awake. I force myself to sleep, only to be trapped in lucid dreams—fully aware, wanting to act, yet powerless as they spiral beyond control. Eventually, I wake up, exhausted and frustrated, stepping out of bed only to drown in guilt for repeating the cycle again. Some time feel that why is this happening all the time. Is this something I'm missing.

I've been working at fast food a couple of weeks and I've never struggled this bad at work.

It's so overwhelming. I work mainly on the line, but they expect me to hear orders(customers are away and don't talk loud), memorize them (type of bread, sauces, size, ingredients, type of meat, to eat here or to go), drinks and extras at the same time I'm working on previous orders from other customers or Uber.

And when someone goes to the bathroom or has a break I'm expected to do all that, plus cash register, plus extras (potatoes, sweets), plus cut meat plus packing... Everything at the same time, several orders at once.

And if I don't do that shit perfectly everyday with constant distractions and I make mistakes or I'm slow I'm a shit employee. What the fuck.

It's fucking hell. When I have a single task, I can hyperfocus on it and thrive, no matter how stressful. But how the hell is anyone supposed to be good at this? How do my colleagues without ADHD manage while I can't? It's like my focus restarts every time they ask me to do a different task besides assembling orders, and worse, they expect me to read their minds and do them before they tell me.