i hate how selfish humans are and how biased we are and how we make rude judgements and we cant even rlly control our brains like that. we dont even know what is accurate or real enough bc idk, our brains can percieve something pretty different from reality. idk if its just me and there is something wrong w me, but i feel like im a victim of unnecessarily mean remarks a lot, and i also witness it happening to other people.

i dont like how humans all feel the need to fit in because it leads to judging others for ridiculous things and contributes to being cruel. i cant escape that either, idk. i also hate how ppl are just mean to get a laugh etc. we all really just care about ourselves (maybe to a significant amount compared to others idk) and it feels really lonely that it seems like this. I hate people so much.

i also hate being percieved. like i know people judge, and its natural, but just the idea of someone forming a thought/judgement about me is uncomfortable, like it might not even be true. or if it is , then idk. it just sound uncomfortable and makes me not want to go outside.

And even tho i feel this way, i long for human connection and ironically am an extrovert (i think, havent socialized enough to know).

I’ve had friendships in my life the friendships are not close. I don’t have a circle of friends now. I also decided to “prioritize my mental health” and stopped reaching out and people also stopped reaching out to me. I used to feel like I have to be “enough” or I have to achieve my goals first before joining in communities because I don’t want to feel insecure.

I now want to reach out to people but for some reason I can’t do it. I don’t want to open up because I’m scared of being found out, and what people will find out is that I don’t feel normal. I don’t really have a busy life, I don’t have friends. I feel like people will know that I’m pathetic so I always feel like I’m hiding something and that’s stopping me from reaching out. I also feel lazy thinking of topics to talk about. I also feel hesitant to casually reach out for a chat with no important reason because. I feel like I have to have a reason to reach out to someone.

basically that. also how would i even go about it lol

BTW I'm not scared to fight anybody but I always find my in fear around people's and if a person is a trash talker you know what I mean, I get panic and whether I don't say anything or If I even try to say I look like kind of funny. I'm tired of all of this and I want people to respect me like everybody else does not just make fun of me. Hope I get some good solutions because this things matter to me the most.

Hey everyone. I'm looking to meet people with similar interests from anywhere around the world, preferably over 30 years old. I find it difficult to make friends IRL due to chronic illness (fibromyalgia, anxiety, depression and CPST). I find it easier to make friends online. I am 44, female, live in Melbourne, Australia. I have a dog named Jasper, he is a 2 year old Bull Arab. I enjoy drawing, writing poetry, reading, knitting, crochet, gardeing, watching movies and documentaries, and travelling. DM me if you're interested.

Hey i really like wearing black pantyhose with black shorts i think it looks really good i like it a lot! But im very scared to show me how i like myself idk i cant get rid of that... Anyone helpfull tips?

OK, I need help. Tonight, I have a Halloween party planned by a friend. She invited me a few weeks ago, and I don't know what came over me, but I accepted. What an idiot. I guess I was tired of living like a hermit at 18, and wanted to do something fun that a teenager my age would do. This is supposed to be the best time of my life, isn't it? Except that right now I'm freaking out. Despite taking 4 pills of sertraline last night, I feel sick. This friend is literally the only one I'll know at this event, all the other people are friends of hers or friends of friends, etc... And that doesn't reassure me at all. I don't feel able to cancel, I've already told her I'll be there, but I'm afraid of having a panic attack. What's more, the place where the party's being held is huge, and there'll be lots and lots of people, and alcohol, it's all so overwhelming, I don't know if I can do it.

I can't say my R's. I practice for years yet it hasn't change. I graduated this year with only zero freinds. I try to talk to people who have the same interests as me. But they can't understand me. Doesn't help that junior year. I made a couple friends that turned out to be jerks and make fun of me behind my back.

I have a deep need for belonging and emotional connection but I also have social anxiety. That stops me from being able to trust and connect with people quickly. I constantly feel like I’m all alone in my life and I’m just doing things. Constantly feel lonely. I hold onto the very few people who fulfill that emotional need of mine, but I also feel like I can’t rely on other people to keep my life functioning. I don’t know what to do.

I basically lost all my social skills and friends for a few years now, my crippling anxiety makes it hard to keep them, however I would like to make new friends that live near me. I really like Halloween and it’s my favorite holiday, would love to go out but I’m very lonely… What are some things I can do tomorrow?

I am halfway through college. My social anxiety has lessened considerably over the years (through exposure). I now atleast rationally know that I don't have a bad personality and people don't hate me.

Because I was so bad socially when college began, I missed out on a lot of people and things. Now I have only a handful of connections and experiences. Neither do I know a lot of people nor do I have a lot of stories.

So my problem is, whenever I hang out with people, I just do not have things to share or stories to tell. So even though I am able to speak up, I don't have anything to speak about.

Another thing is that I fear that somebody will comment on or ask about my social anxiety (and my lack of connections in college). I myself have made peace with the fact that I couldn't make friends because of social anxiety and do not feel any guilt or regret. But if someone else points out the same, I feel uncomfortable. Should I just openly accept my social anxiety in front of others?

So in a way, my previous experiences are still holding me back, in spite of my communication skills improving. I am ready to talk and share about my life but what if the conversation goes towards my lack of social skills (for e.g., what if someone asks me, "Why are you so quiet?") What am I going to say then?

M33, I can deal with not being in a relationship or having a family, I prefer it because spending time with people is torture for me, but I still have a libido & porn is not the answer, it eventually just heightens your sex drive. Has anybody heard an answer to this problem that isn't just religious or quackery?

Every day is a mental fight, and I'm so exhausted. I also battle with PTSD and BPD. Living with anxiety feels like a jail, and I feel so lonely. Nobody around understands me - to them, i am weird and acting out. I don't think people around me know how major and serious this mental illness is for me. My boss talks down on me when I tell how serious my illness is and says, "Everybody has anxiety." I feel ignored.

I come from a dysfunctional family, so protect myself. I've no contact with my family. I don't really have any friends besides my dog.

I've no birthday to celebrate, no weddings to go, nobody to watch movies with or share life with.

It's crazy to be surrounded by so many people in the train, supermarket, and workplace, and still feel this lonely.

Every day is the same, and I hide my internal fight and depression. I wish somebody would give me a hug and tell me everything will be okay cause I feel this lonely with this mental battle. I want to be honest, but at the same time, I'm afraid that mental illness will just push people away.

I just wanted to share this experience and hopefully connect with people online. Thank you for reading.

When I try to talk in front of like a 15 person classroom I start shaking and it’s like I can’t control it my hands and my legs start shaking so bad then I start to feel hot in my chest and I don’t know it just feels so embarrassing to have peoples attention on me so I always try to hide. When I am on call with someone like the doctor or something I get so nervous sns I always will be like eye signaling my dad to talk to them for me bc it so embarrassing to talk on the phone in front of someone. Does anyone feel like that or is it just me. I’ve always been a quiet shy person but now I’m a senior in high school I’ve been trying so hard to get out of my comfort zone and talk to more people and just get out of being so shy but it’s so hard any advice ?

I had the hardest time making friends from middle school all the way to my senior year of college. I had a roommate my freshman year and her and her friend made fun of me for no reason. I decided to just buy singles from then on to avoid another bad social interaction.

My senior year of college, single rooms were too expensive. So I just decided to get a roommate and she’s the nicest & kindest person. She constantly tells me she’s glad she got me as a roommate because she also had a bad experience with a pervious roommate. She also tells me that she just really likes my personality.

She doesn’t know how much that means to me. No one has liked me so easily. I’m very grateful for her. I wouldn’t say we’re close friends because I still have a hard time warming up to people, but it’s going somewhere

Because for me, it really doesn’t. I’m 30, an EMT and overdose prevention specialist, so my job is very people-focused. But social situations just have never gotten easier. There hasn’t been a “desensitization” from exposure; it’s just that I experience it more often. I don’t even think it’s abated at all. It feels like there’s no end in sight to this shit. I can’t date or socialize outside of work. I literally just cancelled a date 30 minutes in advance (it would’ve been my first date in months) because it just felt too exhausting.

Anyone else relate? Or feel like no amount of exposure to social situations is going to make it easier?

How has your social anxiety affected your dating life?

Last year, I moved to the US for my graduate study. It’s the beginning of the nightmare. Due to my limited English skills, I struggled to speak anything. I've already been very shy about speaking in the public. The thing becomes worse to speak in a foreign language. Whenever I was in a group discussion, I found it hard to speak up in any sentences, even if I had some ideas to join in my mind. I know it sounds stupid, but I can’t open my mouth. It makes me always like someone transparent in class. It’s also hard to make meaningful relationships. The anxiety disrupted me.

was at a zoom meeting that usually runs late. people stay on after to chat. i stayed on for once. i wasn't chatting because chatting terrifies me, but then someone asked me a question and i kind of froze and answered...the meeting ended abruptly within thirty seconds of that. i feel like i ended it with my awkwardness...or maybe that's my social anxiety talking...or maybe it's both....

I am walking up Oxford Street in London. 

One of the busiest shopping streets in the world.

It’s a typically cold, drizzly Saturday morning in March. 

I’ve taken the three-hour coach ride into town to meet up with a friend and do some ‘social freedom challenges’.

Having missed out on so much of life, because of social anxiety, I’ve decided to start trying to face my fears.

This is the first time I’ve tried such a thing and to say I’m nervous is an understatement.

But I’m sick and tired sitting on the sidelines and watching life pass me by, so I’ve come into the Big Smoke to face the dragon head on.

The plan is fairly simple: to make eye contact with and greet as many strangers as possible. 

This sounds like a trivial task for most people. 

But when you’ve spent decades in the grip of social anxiety, it most certainly isn’t.

I’m terrified. 

Coming into the centre of London has taken just about every ounce of my courage.

But my high hopes overrode my fears.

On the coach down here images of high-fiving strangers and sparking up conversations with random people danced through my mind.

However, now I’m actually here, the positive expectation of an hour ago has evaporated.

I feel small, scared and nauseous. My skin starts to prickle with sweat.

I feel like a rodent trapped in open ground. Exposed. Vulnerable. Nowhere to run to.

“Let’s get a drink first and chill out for a bit.” I tell my friend, stalling for time.

Inside the coffee shop, I nervously nurse a bottle of sparkling water. Absentmindedly tracing the condensation drops with my fingers while I think.

My stomach is in knots. If I head back to the coach station now, I can be home in time for the Saturday afternoon football match on TV.

At least I tried. This just isn’t for me. Best to head back to the comfort of home.

I can always try again another time. I’m just not ready yet.

“So, shall we get out there then?” Dan suddenly asks, derailing my train of thought.

He also suffered with terrible social anxiety when he was younger. 

But, whereas I avoided my problems, he deliberately moved to London to overcome his fears. 

In the three years that he’d been living here, he’d done thousands of these kinds of challenges. 

To add to the humiliation of defeat I’m starting to feel, I remember that Dan is almost ten years younger than me.

I open my mouth to apologise for wasting his time and give him a litany of empty promises about how I’ll “come down another day” when I’m “feeling more up for it”.

But something stops me before the words have a chance to form.

Macho pride. Male bravado. Masochistic tendencies. Whatever you want to call it. My reply shocks me,

“Yeah, come on. Let’s get after it.”

We step back out into the gloomy bustle of Oxford Street.

People from all corners of the globe throng everywhere.

I restate my intention to start greeting people who come my way. 

I add a bit of authoritative emphasis to try and convince both Dan and myself that I’m going to actually pull it off.

We set off and my eyes scour the hordes of oncoming people for a receptive target.

Eyes are glued to phone screens or deliberately avoid my gaze.

My eyes ricochet quickly from face to face. Everyone's the same.

A legion of iPhone zombies.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

A young guy with dreadlocks about my age walks towards me, eyes untethered from his phone for a moment.

I nod and say “Hi”.

No recognition. Not even a rude snub, just total blankness.

As he passes, I see why.

His ears are stuffed with white airpods.

How the hell am I going to complete my challenge if everyone is in their own little world?

We press on further past the entrance to the Underground station.

People crisscross from all directions.

I’m feeling self-conscious and shaky. I can feel my face turning red.

The crowd is a blur of colourful shopping bags and grey, deadpan faces.

A busker plays the guitar loudly to my left. His jangling chords are like shattered glass in my ear.

It’s all getting too much.

I can feel an anxiety attack trying to spiral up from the pit of my stomach.

“Hi”, I try again weakly as a woman with jet black straight hair walks by.

This time a quick flick of her eyes shows that she’s registered me, but she’s otherwise unmoved.

It’s no good. 

I’m like a fly bouncing off car windshields.

Too feeble and ineffectual to have any impact.

I begin to question my life choices. I begin to question myself.

“Why the hell am I even down here in London trying to say “Hello” to strangers?!" 

"Why do I even need to practice something so simple?”

"Why was I born like this?”

My mind begins to spiral into bitter thoughts of my childhood and who I can blame for my problems.

But, I’m brought back to reality by a shove from behind as a group of teenagers in Canada Goose jackets push past me.

I need to get out of this crowd.

We decide to cross the road to Regent Street where it’s quieter.

We walk north past the Nike Town store and I stop against a wall to try and compose myself.

“I don’t think I can do this mate”, I tell Dan

The hostility on people’s faces. My own insecurities. It’s all too much.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was totally housebound by my anxiety. 

So, even coming into London has been a success I say, trying to console myself for my failure.

We turn and head back to the Underground station. I will get the tube back to Victoria and take the coach back to the countryside.

There I will sit on my couch and beat myself up incessantly for being so pathetic and failing yet again.

As I envision this and the evening of rumination ahead a surge of courage fills me.

I see a woman, probably in her early sixties, coming towards me.

Before I know what I’m doing, I lock eyes with her and blurt out,

“Hi, how are you?”

The woman’s face is long and drawn, with an almost angry expression.

“Excuse me?”

She stops next to me.

This was a mistake. I should never have done this.

“I..I..was just asking how you are” 

Her face transforms.

The defensive mask cracking into a huge smile. Her previously pinball eyes suddenly light up.

“Oh! I’m fine, thank you.”

She carries on walking. The exchange must only have lasted a matter of seconds, but my whole world has changed.

I am dumbfounded.

The woman was so warm and friendly. But had I not spoken to her, I would only have seen her harsh, dour expression.

In that moment, I realised I had been hoodwinked. Duped. Swindled.

I had been taking people at face value my whole life.

Where I had seen crowds of standoffish, intimidating people, I now saw countless bright souls all cowering behind the defensive armour of scowls, screens and airpods.

It wasn’t just me that was scared to engage. It was everyone.

I had previously thought about how we are all colluding in the depression that is spread by social media. 

We compare and despair over the curated images of other people’s ‘perfect’ lives believing they are OK and we are not.

And yet every person is feeling the same and perpetuating this lie - this insanity by consensus.

But this was the first time I realised we are all also colluding in the mass loneliness and anxiety of the world.

We keep others at bay with our self-defence mechanisms, while all the time dying inside our protective shell for want of the nourishment of human connection.

On that day, I made a promise that I would do my part to break this absurd cycle. I began greeting people wherever I could. Every single day. Without fail.

In elevators. In grocery stores. Waiting in line to top up my phone credit.

In the years since that promise, I have spoken with thousands of strangers from dozens of countries.

And I am always amazed by how interesting and warm most people are. Regardless of how unapproachable they may initially appear to be.

So please don’t buy into the lie. 

Do your part to reverse the insanity we are heading towards as a species. We all have a part to play in the loneliness epidemic.

And it can begin with a simple smile and a “hello”.

I got the courage to join this walking and talking club in my city as the first step of getting out of my comfort zone. Its supposed to be chill and It’s coming up this weekend but my finger is already on the ‘cancel booking’ button. I’m so stressed and nervous, I’ve been tossing and turning this whole week just trying to prepare for it but as the day grows closer, I’m feeling worse 😭 I genuinely feel sick. I’ve not had any social interaction in months due to shutting myself out. I want to change but I’m terrified and have trauma with huge groups bc of bullying back then. Fuck what do I do? Is this too much of a big step? Has anyone did something similar?

someone I just met invited me to go to an AA meeting tonight. I’m sober I’ve just haven’t been to AA in a long time. I ended up getting there a couple of minutes late and freaked out and ended up driving home. I feel like most people would have just walked inside. I’ve made a lot of progress with my anxiety but sometimes I act like a scared little kid and it embarrasses me. My therapist really wants me to get out there but i’m struggling to even go to events to meet people and this just feels like a huge fail. :(

I wouldn't say my appearance is the main reason but it certainly doesn't help. I just feel like you get percevd as less than, the energy you get from some people is just so off.

I have lost weight to try and work on myself but it hasn't helped. I still have eczema, eye bags, bumps over my body, I'm allergic to tons. It's like ive properly been given a really mediocre life.

Not to undermine conventionally attractive people woth Social anxiety but I still feel envious because they don't get looked down as less than.

I don't even want a relationship honestly, I know it wouldn't work out. I just at least don't want get weird glances or laughed at by people if I walk by them in public.

I recently deleted everyone I had added on everygame because I felt very anxious everytime I saw them playing something because I thought they didn't invite me because I was weird and I didn't invited them either because I didn't want to annoy them

I'm 20 and I've been alone forever. I've had no real close friends my entire life. Not through school, not through my teens and now not in my twenties. I've wasted my life. I've been at uni for almost two months but outside of sometimes reoccurring acquaintances I've made no real connections or friends. I don't know how other people do it. It's like I've blinked and suddenly all these perfect friendship groups full of like minded people have formed around me like they're AI generated or something. And I've genuinely tried. I go to the societies. I try and talk during lectures but it never goes anywhere. It's like I'm not even real. It's not that I'm even scared of people its I just can't get the words out like some mental block or I just straight up have nothing to say. And here I am always seeing all these cool looking people out of know where form these dumbass friendship groups as if they've known each other their entire life leaving me behind. It's always been like this and it will never change. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I think I'm cursed destined to be alone forever with nothing to do about it.

I'm a homeschooled highschooler and have zero plans for halloween.

The main reason is because I don't have anybody to make plans with. The only person I know that lives somewhat nearby is a very old friend who I know for sure already made plans with her own friend group. Honestly listening to everyone say what they're dressing up as on halloween gives me extreme fomo. And when anyone asks what I'm going to be, I have to say "Oh, nothing." (Basically the same thing happened last year, it sucked.)

While I like online school, it is very isolating. You're in the house a lot and scarcely have any opportunities to meet new people, resulting in no friendships. I live in a pretty rural area with a long driveway so handing out candy to kids isn't even an option. At this point I think im just gonna stay home and watch a halloween movie or something, even though deep down I wish I could do something with other kids.

I deleted it, but I just typed out this whole long thing about anxiety surrounding home maintenance appointments. When I got to the part where I admitted that nothing bad has ever happened..... it hit me. I felt better. I listed out all these appointments I've ever worried about and was reminded that nothing out of the ordinary ever happened. Plus, I can only think of the hundred different ways that things could go wrong if I didn't have professionals in my place repairing and replacing things.

I hope this can help someone else who is worrying today.

It's endless. It's constantly feeding. Always. There's always someone that hates me, there's always someone judging me, there's always someone talking about me. I'm always fucking up. Once my brain lets go of one thing, it immediately latches onto another. Constantly. And I never talk about it, I just let it torture me because I can't do anything else.

I don't know if I can handle it much longer. I've come to the point where my mind leaps to suicide as my only escape. The words "I'm going to kill myself" loop in my head over and over as some sort of sick coping mechanism. I envision myself placing the cold barrel of a gun in my mouth.

All of that being said, I'm not a suicide risk, so don't worry about me. I'm always like this. I might be thinking about it but I won't take action. I just let it torture me. on and on and on.

So, I signed up for a school movie thing we were doing for Halloween. Today was the day I was supposed to go and I just changed my mind inside just go back home because I had bad anxiety/social anxiety. As soon as I left school I just started crying hard because I didn't want to be the only one person who's there alone and I thought it was going to be embarrassing.

I feel so bad for myself that I chickened out on something I should've done

I’m starting at a really small education place, it’s not exactly a college but a place where you can retake the subjects you didn’t pass. I am grateful that I am not going to a regular college because I’ve been there and it was horrendous I suffered so much in a mainstream college.

But I start at this place and they are so nice there, so polite and honestly it is all green flags and I can’t believe how much it sounds like just the place for me.

I’m scared of being disappointed, I am going there tomorrow for a meet and greet with others who attend and I’m truly so anxious.