/r/socialanxiety

Photograph via //r/socialanxiety

Distress in social situations, causing impaired functioning in daily life. Triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others. Physical symptoms may include: blushing, excess sweating, trembling, palpitations, and nausea, stammering, along, rapid speech, panic attacks..

Introversion and shyness (personality characteristics) are not social anxiety (mental distress).

Socially anxious people may be shy/introverted, but shy/introverted people do not necessarily have social anxiety

Subreddit Rules

1. Posts must be directly related to social anxiety.

The language "social anxiety" is not a requirement in posts, but please make its relevance apparent in your wording.

2. Play nice / keep it civil
Golden rule: Rediquette

3. Miracle cures: religion/nofap/magic bullets

Posts and comments citing /r/nofap or other "miracle anxiety solving" philosophies may be removed.

Religion is not an answer to everyone. Please do not proselytize religious beliefs here.

4. No mental illness denialism

Arguing SA as some kind of 'personal choice' or 'lifestyle decision' is ill-informed and unconstructive. Please take such misinformation elsewhere.

5. No self-promotion

Don't promote your stuff in the sub. Posting or commenting your youtube channel / blog / insta / ebook / facebook / discord group / support group / self help or therapy enterprise, or any other form of self-interested service, platform or content will result in a permanent ban.

6, No "oppression-olympics" posts

"X group (women, neurotypicals, good looking people, etc) have it easier", posts are reductive and offensive. By all means talk about your own experiences or circumstances but please don't post diminishing another group's experience or blaming it for your own.

7. No research surveys

Due to persistent abuse of the system provided to authorize research requests we no longer allow research surveys of any kind on the subreddit.


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What is social anxiety?

  • Also known as social phobia.

  • Fear and anxiety in social situations, causing distress and impaired functioning in daily life.

  • Triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others. Intense fear of negative evaluation from other people.

  • Physical symptoms may include: blushing, excess sweating, trembling, palpitations, and nausea, stammering, along with rapid speech, panic attacks. intense fear and discomfort.

  • Introversion and shyness (personality characteristics) are not social anxiety (mental distress).

  • Socially anxious people may be shy/introverted, but shy/introverted people do not necessarily have social anxiety.

Read the Criteria for Social Anxiety in the DSM-V Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (used by psychologists and other mental health professionals as the basis of diagnosis) here

 


 

Social Anxiety Memes

/r/sa_memetherapy

 


 

Links

 

/r/makingfriends

/r/MakeNewFriendsHere

/r/needafriend

/r/socialskills

/r/introvert

/r/affirmations

/r/telephobia

/r/depression

/r/AvPD

/r/lonely

/r/ForeverAlone

/r/Anxiety

/r/SelectiveMutism

 

/r/socialanxiety

405,630 Subscribers

1

Over the ear headphones

Will people judge or look at me weird if I wear over the ear headphones around campus? The doctor recommended not to wear buds bc medical reasons, but I haven't actually switched because I'm worried I'll be judged.

0 Comments
2024/03/28
00:22 UTC

3

People who have conquered social anxiety: How exactly did you do it?

I will not be controlled my social anxiety my whole life! I am determined to take control of myself as far as social anxiety is concerned. I have come a decent way, starting from being extremely scared of going out of the house by myself, to now having a social job that I really enjoy and a handful of friends. But, I still struggle immensely with random things that I really want to do, but am stopped by the fear of the social aspect of said event. So, for people that have conquered social anxiety, how exactly did you do it?

0 Comments
2024/03/27
23:56 UTC

1

going public as an artist/poet

i started a project recently and I've always loved making art and writing poetry, and I've been posting on my account everything. recently Ive started to gain followers, important people from the art sphere in my country, people that I look up to and admire and compare myself to. I love what I'm doing, but I would like to be in my own bubble, without having to interact with anyone. I would like to monetize off of my account someday and part of this process is putting myself in social circles, going to events so people would get to know me. I'm terribly socially anxious, and I don't know if I could handle it. but there's no return as well cause that's all I know. any artists here that know how to handle this type of situation?

0 Comments
2024/03/27
23:35 UTC

1

How do you get yourself to go through with a new thing?

I have arranged to start volunteering tomorrow, but I'm scared I will not be able to get myself to go in. I know my anxiety will be the highest when the shop is in sight.

If I do get myself to go in, I'm then scared I won't be able to get myself to say what I'm there for, I might even pretend to be a customer heh

To go with all of that, I'm scared that when I do say what I'm there for, they will tell me to go find the manager myself or tell me that the manager is upstairs, I don't even know where the stairs are lolols

Help?

0 Comments
2024/03/27
23:15 UTC

1

Judged as a heavy drug user because i need to use psychiatric medicine and alternative remedies

I find it distressing to be labeled with a negative stigma, placed in a box which is also untrue. I had consumed quite a bit of cocoa and coffee to cope with a social situation, being part of a hobby. I use them as medicine to feel calm, happy, and social. Two acquaintances said, "You've taken a lot of cocaine today." Since then, they have avoided me and looked at me askance. And perhaps spreading false rumors about me in my hobby association. It's my only social context; I don't want to be isolated at home. It feels terrible to be judged as a drug user because I need to take psychiatric medication or alternative remedies. It makes me feel bad. I don't take heavy drugs, I don't drink alcohol. But it doesn't feel like I should have to compromise my personal integrity and share my private life with two people I don't know well. Any suggestions on what I should do? How do you handle these situations?

0 Comments
2024/03/27
23:08 UTC

1

Reality must be a joke

I saw a dream few months ago. I dont remember all of my dream but there is one thing looking like i will be thinking of even following few months. The most annoying thing is it was a pretty common situation for any other people.

As you can guess it was me and other guys communicating. Yes it was just that, talking and doing some jokes and having fun maybe. That is most normal thing on the earth and im a mad disgusting creature.

And last day i saw their faces when they are talking about me.Their eyes when they looking at me, their voices. They dont even seeing me as a potential friend.They are not bullying me or treating me bad but i guess i could handle couple of insults better than this. Fun thing is i could easily become friends with them if i wasnt like this boring and unable to talk. Sometimes i hear them talking about my interests, dont being able to talk with them is just something i cant describe with words.

But in my daydreams im fine with them(at least)

0 Comments
2024/03/27
22:51 UTC

2

secondary school assemble

tommorow i have my celebration assembly and if i win an award i have to stand up infront of my whole year and not only this ill probably get made fun of and i could trip or drop the award or anything like that and im so scared but i might not get one but if i do idk what to doooo!!!!!!

0 Comments
2024/03/27
22:20 UTC

1

Stranger Danger

how do i get over stranger danger? Where I know longer see strangers as threats that terrify me and ruin my day?

7 Comments
2024/03/27
22:20 UTC

1

Question for socially normal and color-sighted people about facial redness

Hi, I've had a crippling social problem for the last 3 years which can be summarized like this:

  1. There exist certain times and situations in which appearing anxious will have negative consequences.
  2. I come up with scenarios like these that might happen (involuntarily) and think about what times would be the worst for people to notice me being stressed.
  3. When these situations eventually happen, I recognize it and become anxious that I will appear anxious
  4. I appear anxious, potentially causing the negative consequences to happen

The main mechanism this works through is muscle twitching and blushing. I am also red-green color blind, so I can't see blushing and don't know exactly what other people think when they see it, or if they notice it.

My question is - Would you notice if a person turned red in certain situations, like being around a specific person and no one else, or in response to certain topics being mentioned? How noticeable is this? Would you notice if someone had a neck spasm every time specific words were said?

This has severely impacted my life and I worry people have suspected that I am a murderer, rapist, pedophile, or cannibal based purely on my body language, which I have little control over at this point. Thank you

0 Comments
2024/03/27
22:11 UTC

1

Going to events alone

Summer is coming up which means concerts, festivals and other outdoor activities. Is it sad that I might end up going to these events on my own because my friends aren’t available/don’t share similar interests? In the past I’ve missed out on going to things because my friends couldn’t come and i feel like I’m hindering my happiness and experiences because of their unavailability :/. But be honest, is it sad as a 24 y/o woman to go to these events alone?

1 Comment
2024/03/27
21:55 UTC

3

Anxiety is hard.

idk why i struggle with talking to people. I just get this overwhelming fear and idk why. Any tips to overcome this?

0 Comments
2024/03/27
21:47 UTC

2

Exams were super stressful

So this week and the next few weeks at my school are exam weeks for juniors and seniors. This week we were doing science exams and today was my day to do it. So me and some other kids from my class got called out and we all walked to a giant room with a stage in the front. We got checked in and waited. There was about 10 long tables going across the room with a few people. I sat at one of the tables and I had to put my phone in my bag so I did.

Eventually right after that a ton of students started flooding in. Legit every table and chair was filled up, there were at least 100 kids in there (probably more). I was sorta in the middle of the table so there was a lot of kids to my left and my right, in front of me and behind me. I was packed in. I was sorta freaking out because I hate large packed crowds like this, I was even starting to shake a little and sorta felt like I was gonna get sick.

We all got out our laptops out and start the exam and I'm still freaking out eternally and I know we were gonna be in there a long time (around 2 hours) so I was freaking out. Also there was a rule we couldn't go out to the bathroom so I couldn't get up and use that as an excuse to get fresh air. So I was freaking out having a mini panic attack there for two hours. I was shaking a bit, stuck in a room with a ton of kids, most of them I don't know, all different looks and vibes coming from a lot of them. It was all too much.

I wish it would've gone better for me. I wish the advisors would notice that I was shaking and take me out to do it in the library or something but nope. I was stuck for 2 hours with all these people, I luckily finished the exam fine with no real serious issues and left. It was starting to get better in the later half since I was more used to it. But I have to do this 3 more times throughout the next couple weeks, for more subjects. Hopefully they'll go better.

0 Comments
2024/03/27
21:28 UTC

17

55 years of SA

Hi all. I’m 55, I’ve been married and have 4 wonderful teenaged children, I’m physically healthy, in good shape, have been described as “handsome” on a few occasions, money has never really been an issue…..and I’ve always dreaded going to school/work every single morning of my life because of persistent SA.

That’s about it, I guess. I feel a deep connection with all of you on this sub and I wish you the best. ❤️

2 Comments
2024/03/27
21:15 UTC

2

Throwing myself off the deep end repeatedly has not helped

I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder, but over the past three years, I've been trying to overcome it. However, my efforts have usually been large, big events.

For example, I ran for and was elected president for the grad program I was attending at my school. So I had to give speeches to alumni, plan out social events, etc. However, it was really too much for me, and instead of helping me with my anxiety, I would get panic attacks and would be so stressed I couldn't sleep thinking about past/future interactions.

Now, I've signed on to be a TA/member of social team planning at work to help coworkers who want to learn machine learning and AI and to help plan social events like happy hour, but it's still so hard to force myself to sit with them and lunch and make small talk, and since it's obvious from my body language that I feel uncomfortable, it pushes my coworkers away.

I have tried doing smaller, daily activities like going to the gym and talking to others there, but it feels like a monumental battle to say hello, and people are definitely put off by my indecisiveness as I stress over a simple greeting.

All in all, I feel like I tried extremes of activities I could do, and I was wondering if any of you have activities that helped you overcome SAD, especially smaller, daily ones that build your confidence as time goes on. Or anything with a higher rate of success, since the things I've tried have only made my symptoms worse.

1 Comment
2024/03/27
20:33 UTC

5

no idea what to say during a conversation..

Not a thought pops in my mind of what to say next. I don’t understand how conversations work. What do you even say…?

I want to meet with family that i have not seen in 2 years (due to social anxiety) because i feel so guilty about it. but i don’t know what to say to them or how to keep a conversation going with them. not a lot happens in my life to discuss. i just kind of get through it the best i can.

i wish i could be around people without having to talk at all. just enjoy being around them and listening. i think i’d like that if it was socially acceptable. but thats not how the world works obviously lol

4 Comments
2024/03/27
20:25 UTC

2

How do you deal with a crippling fear of judgment?

I tend to be afraid to go out or interact with people because I’m afraid that they will judge me. It could be about how I look or something else. I have a constant fear of bumping into someone I used to know and then seeing how much I’ve changed now, and how I didn’t really become the successful person everyone expected me to become. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get over my fear of people judging me and internalized shame? Thanks!

0 Comments
2024/03/27
20:13 UTC

2

What do I do & say after my doctors appointment?

Very anxiety based question, but after seeing a family doctor or dentist, do I go back out and sit down and wait to be called again or do I go to reception? If I have to go to reception right away, what do I say? I haven’t been to any appointments in a long time so I kinda forgot

2 Comments
2024/03/27
20:07 UTC

28

I kinda just got caught climbing through my window to avoid talking to my family

My package had arrived and in order to leave I would have to walk through a bunch of family members that visited. So instead I just climbed out my window and got my package like that. However they must’ve seen my shadow through the blinds or something because they opened the door as I’m running back to my window and I just pause and they just stared at me like: 👁️👄👁️

So I just went in through the front door and they asked “how did you leave?” And I said “window.” And they all laughed. They asked me why I left out the window and I just ignored that and laughed it off.

Seeing me come in with a package, they probably think I’m a drug dealer or something now. Oh well lmfao.

4 Comments
2024/03/27
20:05 UTC

8

Never realized how bad my social anxiety was until college

I moved away from my hometown that I’ve grown up in my whole life around two years ago for college. Because of the pandemic I spent the first two years of my undergraduate at home doing online classes and the final two years in person. It hasn’t been until now, when most of my classes require presentations and participation that I’m realizing that I have really bad social anxiety and a fear of public speaking.

My professor even mentioned that she wished I would speak up because she wants to hear what I have to say, so during my previous class I raised my hand and immediately started shaking (no one noticed thankfully). Another student said something similar to what I had spent five minutes prior rehearsing in my head so I just put my hand down…

I have an oral presentation coming up in two weeks and I’m scared I’m literally not gonna be able to even speak or something. I perform really well in one on one conversations or with two people but when the attention is fully on me I freak out and I’m scared for what’s coming with this presentation.

I guess I’m hoping if anyone has any tips for the presentation or just in general, they could share :’)

6 Comments
2024/03/27
19:22 UTC

1

Wish me Luck

I'm going out to the store with my Dad and my niece. The store is crowded as hell with strangers all around me....i'm afraid of strangers. I usually fixate on strangers and what they're doing and their movements...do you think the strangers will notice my fixation?

0 Comments
2024/03/27
18:50 UTC

2

I almost have a panic attack when thinking about texting my own mom

I live far away from my mom and have for about a decade. Our relationship is really strange, we both know we care about each other but we’re really awkward due to some traumatic events and how much I acted out as a teen. I’ve been isolating from people for a long time and for some reason even my own mom. She texts me rarely and I’m happy when I see her texts but thinking about responding gives me a panic attack almost. It gets even worse the more time that goes by. I have no idea why. Any insight? I feel horrible leaving her on read. Sometimes she has threatened to call the police when I don’t respond. Strangely, I don’t have this problem with my dad or my younger brother. I do with my older brother a bit, I mostly just avoid him and we never talk.

0 Comments
2024/03/27
18:33 UTC

19

Walking in public

I was just wondering if anyone else experience most intense social anxiety symptoms while walking in public?

I have social anxiety whilst speaking with people I do not know and being in all types of places such as grocery stores and parks. However, I have most problems when I am walking to somewhere rather than interacting with people or staying in buildings. I think that I generally sweat more than others but when I walk in public and there are people around me I am struggling to breath and start sweating profusely looking like I just stepped out of a shower lol. My body also gets really tense and I move like a robot. It is frustrating since I do enjoy walking.

7 Comments
2024/03/27
18:32 UTC

21

Im currently sitting in a pub alone at the biggest table without anxiety. I’ve come far and I’m proud to share it.

Waiting for my food at a small pub. This table seats 12 people but I’m sitting here alone thinking that I might meet some new people this way.

A few years ago I remembered I starved myself for 4 days as I was too scared to grocery shop. Today I’m doing this?

Just goes to show how far you can go, and how quickly it can go. Took me a year and I was able to live alone, about four years and I’m considered confident and social by normal people.

Thanks for me. Hope you all find strength within yourselves to overcome whatever you might be facing. I believe in you, because I’ve done it.

5 Comments
2024/03/27
18:31 UTC

2

Should I start texting my friends on a regular basis again even though I have really bad texting anxiety?

I used to text on a daily basis with someone of my friends and it helped with feeling closer with my friend but I stopped doing that to cope with anxiety because I have pretty bad texting anxiety. I also find it hard to read someone through text. I've been struggling feeling close to my friends but I'm too afraid to get back in the habit of texting people on a regular basis. As of now I basically only text my friends to set up hang outs and almost nobody texts me first

3 Comments
2024/03/27
17:44 UTC

1

Phenibut

Any of you guys have tried phenibut? It is really good for SA

It's really risky though.

Both in its effects and addiction I uses to use it occasionally. Then over time almost every day, to the point where it does not do anything.

2 Comments
2024/03/27
17:43 UTC

4

I'm considering going to my HS class' 10 year reunion. I do not have much to show for myself in life (currently unemployed) should I just skip it?

I know it is ultimately my decision, but I suppose I need an outside perspective here. My anxiety is getting to me because I know people will ask me about my career, etc.

0 Comments
2024/03/27
17:10 UTC

5

moved out of childhood home - feeling overwhelmed with all the new responsibilities and social situations. can't handle it.

help/massive vent post

i hope this belongs in this sub, but i am just at a loss what to do and seeking advice. two weeks ago i moved out of my childhood home and now i am responsible for everything myself. handling this process alone was already so stressful and challenging for me and it was so hard meeting all the people involved in this process and handling all the paperwork, the calls, the emails.

and i have massive phone call anxiety. it's not being on the phone itself that bothers me, but the problem is that (maybe it's because im autistic) i get so anxious when i don't know exactly what to say and i don't have a set plan. like i need to know word for word what i have to say to be able to function in a call or else I'll break down. im not very streets smart so ihave no idea how to handle all of this and how some of these things work in the life of being an independent adult??

my current struggle is that something in my kitchen broke and i contacted my landlord via email (which was already hard for me because i worry SO MUCH about coming off as professional in emails, if im including all of the necessary information and just how to express myself in general) and my landlord told me i need to CALL a company to make an appointment with them to get it fixed.

just at the thought of having to call them i could cry. what do i even say?? i hate being an adult and not being able to ask my mom to do this stuff for me. and before anyone suggests it - no, someone else calling for me unfortunately isn't an option.

how do you all get through small challenges like that in life without the help of others? like how am i supposed to conquer situations that seem impossible to me due to my anxiety?

3 Comments
2024/03/27
16:31 UTC

56

What does ‘with f***king (my name) mean?

One guy at school said ‘I’m with f***king (my name). When we had to team up. So did a girl after we slept together.

I get that it probably means I’m ugly or weird or loser or all together but could there be another reason? A little less harsh one.

19 Comments
2024/03/27
16:21 UTC

5

A little rant, I'm tired of everything

16M, Just a rant about the things I'm going through, not particularly seeking for advice.

Well, maybe I'm stupid for these but listen,

So I was in class doing maths, but I couldn't understand anything because of a reason, but every single other student understood easily, even the topic was easy but I couldn't understand. But that's not the issue that I can't do maths.

Well I've pretty terrible social anxiety, so I just can't understand anything when I'm around people or even the teacher. My mind just goes blanks I start to fear actually.

The thing is that, this " not being able to understand the simplest maths question", acted as trigger for my emotions, I just started to think how big of looser I am. I can't talk to people, I can't understand others, I'm not good at studies, neither at sports, I have no hobbies neither I've good looks. I'm good at nothing

And on top of that how big my expectations are, how big my dreams are when I can't even a normal life.

I honestly started to cry, I just couldn't help myself all the bad memories I had started to show up. How nobody needs me, how I'm dependent on everyone. Ik these all sounds stupid, but honestly I can't describe what I felt there when everyone was laughing because I couldn't do anything, when nobody has interest in you.

And then I remember about this girl whom I like but she doesn't like me, how I'm the only one who's interested in texting her, the dry texts I get from her. All the things just got together and broke me from inside.

Honestly I'm tired of these, I hate myself, I want a peaceful life, I want leave alone far from all the people, I just want a break from all of these, I'm tired, I can do nothing I've just lost the hope...

0 Comments
2024/03/27
16:01 UTC

1

Stuck in a loop

So, a while ago I found myself feeling really isolated because I don’t have any friends outside of the internet, and even barely there. I decided to try and make more friends because it was really getting me down. I made a friend, who became something more than that. It was golden to me, but he ghosted me. He just sent a giant paragraph, and blocked me. We never spoke again.

So now i’m struggling because I still feel isolated, honestly even more so, but I’m even more scared to reach out now because I don’t want that false security again. So I’m just reaching out to see if that loop is familiar to anyone else? Anxious because you don’t have any friends and you’re missing out, but isolating because friendships and relationships come with so much anxiety. How do you get out of that?

It’s getting really hard to deal with being alone all the time, but the smallest interactions make me panic. I don’t want to be hurt again but the isolation comes with its own pain. I don’t know what else to do.

I don’t really feel like I’m explaining this the best. I hope the point is still getting across.

0 Comments
2024/03/27
15:00 UTC

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