hello everyone! this is my first post here, so hopefully i'm doing this right.
to preface, i should probably put rejection in quotes because i think my social anxiety and overthinking brain are making a mess of this 🫠

pardon the vagueness, but please let me know if you have any tips or advice. so i've liked this guy for about 2.5 months now and i've never gotten the chance to talk to him until today. thus far, i've just seen him at sporting events (he's an athlete) which obviously and unfortunately isn't the best setup to try to get to know someone personally. so the most i could do was try to make eye contact with him during warmups and stuff, and even that was totally nerve-wracking and usually sent me into a spiral of overthinking and anxiety (🥲). yesterday, i finally had the chance to see him at a post-game event. to make a short story even shorter, he basically just said hi and thanked me for coming, and even though i had a super short reply prepped for WEEKS, i totally fumbled it because the nerves got to me, and i just mumbled something he probably didn't even hear.

so while it wasn't an outright rejection, it definitely wasn't how i was hoping it would go. would you guys consider this "rejection," or am i overthinking it?

also, they have another one of these events in a week or so, but it's essentially the exact same thing. should i try to go to that one as well to see if anything will go differently, or just leave things alone? i'm nervous that someone is going to recognize me from this time and tell me i'm not allowed to go to both, or that the guy i have a crush on is going to think it's weird of me to show up to both events (i don't think he thinks about me enough to care, but alas. social anxiety 😀).

i just don't know what to do because i don't know how else to reach out to him and i'm way too nervous to just outright say anything that would even hint at my interest in him, but i can't exactly press a button and not have a crush on him anymore either. any social anxiety-friendly tips on how to move forward would be much appreciated !

My social anxiety can be so overwhelming at times that I find myself being hopeless and seems like there's no chance of improvement.

I'd like to hear if any of you have tips or stories (even if its just a small situation) to share where you conciously made an effort and have seen yourself improve or handle the anxiety better, answer better, deal with the situation better.

I dont expect a dramatically shift or character development like in the movies. Obviously There's ups and downs in the journey of improvement but its so satisfying to see the highs after you've had your lows.

I had a hypnotherapy session today and in the first 15 minutes the guy broke my brain and fixed my social anxiety. It’s still all processing but I can feel everything changing it’s insane. All he did was ask me questions that got me to connect things and realize the way I was thinking

So I signed up for an archery club today at my college. I’ve been shooting for a couple months and went a little bit last year. I now have my own bow so that’s means I’d have to be in the section that’s designated for people with their own equipment. The problem with that’s is those people are really good, and have all the expensive and high tech bows. Mine just barely fit in my budget and isn’t the greatest. I’m also pretty sure they already have a clique going on and then I’d just be there.

im too scared to go and I’m mad at myself for it.

But I just can’t imagine going there to practice, being the worst one there, and the getting ignored by everyone because they're all older than me and I’m too scared to talk to them.

its not like the gym where i can just blast music and ignore people, bc you have to listen for the safety whistles and such. Then id have to talk to people, and since im new to this im not gonna be good and im gonna get embarrassed and upset thinking they’re judging me.

i really wanna go but im too scared. And none of my friends want to tag along either.

what can i do?

Now I know the title sounds bad but I honestly think I’m the one at fault. So basically I had a huge crush on this guy, but I had never talked to him before and I had never told anyone that I liked him. One day he told me that he had a huge crush on me and I was so confused I felt like it was a prank. Eventually he asked me out and we started dating. But for some reason I was always too shy to talk to him, everywhere I went I would avoid him and whenever we did talk it was just small talk, but we would text a lot. Now looking back I was so dry during the relationship I feel bad and I kinda want him to give me a second chance, but also it helped me figure out that I had social anxiety. Any opinions?

I’m jealous of how people connect with each other

Sometimes I observe people’s close relationships with like a friend or a significant other and I wonder why I have never had that before. I don’t feel as if I have had a single close relationship in my life. Not with family, or friends and I’ve never been in a relationship. I was bullied a lot both at home and at school growing up so maybe my lack of self confidence has to do with it.

It’s just so frustrating. I feel so hopeless. Anyone I try to become friends with finds me weird. I hate how off putting I am. I just want people to like me but I don’t know what to do anymore.

My family has told me at young age that you need to get outside of the house and face life. But my confidence wasn't there and social anxiety made me not want to try for anything. But now that I'm an adult, I've realized things about me that I'm just not proud of. Like I feel and consider myself small towards people who are confident and smart. I allow others to win and never take chances to better my own life. I stay quiet and just allow life to hit me. Because my verbal communication skills suck. People can barely hear me sometimes and I'm so afraid to even talk with bunch of people because I'm too worried about what others might think of me.

I grew up in country not surrounded by fellow people and at young age, constantly felt judged, criticized and lectured. Which made me more quiet or reserved. My cousins are so free minded, they are like anxiety free lol. I mean they are doing whatever they want to without caring about what others might think. And I want to be like them too sighs. I realized my flow is slow and I always look like serious depressed or hurt person. I just hate this image.

A couple of friends invited me out to go hiking and bowling, and I met a total of 4 brand new people. I got along very well with 2 of them, with 1 being just kinda there (absolutely love him though, didn't really talk to him, but I over heard him saying some stuff, and I'm so fucking glad he said it)

Hung out with the 2 for an hour in a parking lot just shooting shit and halfway flirting with one if them, before finally coming home. And I'm in a great mood. I'm not exhausted (I mean, I am, but mostly cause I'm actually just sleepy. I've been up for a while)

Hell, I yelled at a guy today 'cause he was treating my friend (his fiance) like crap, and just being a total idiot.

I'm very proud of myself :))))) it's probably the zoloft I got on, but who knows. It's only been a week

Ever since I can remember (though I don’t really have much memories) I’ve been a reserved person to the world. I feel like I only show myself to the closest friends I have, which I don’t have much now. How do I be myself more to the world instead of being reserved and quiet and maybe trying to be the good quiet guy?

I know it’s because of fear but I don’t know which one. Could be fear of judgement, fear of not being accepted, fear of how other people would react, fear of losing control of how others perceive me or just plainly because that’s just how it is ever since I can remember and that’s where I’m accustomed to. Could also be a mix of all these. I’m not really sure. I’d appreciate any advice.

i have major social anxiety (also just anxiety in general) but when i go out in public i obvs try to "mask" and pretend to be normal. however, once i say hello to someone whether it be the store employee or someone at school or a random classmate etc, IMMEDIATELY their reaction is like they just look at me sideways and KNOW im different and i feel like they are hiding a laugh behind their face and can't wait to laugh at me behind my back....anyone relate? like just interacting with anyone at all i just can feel like they know im diffferent and a bit autistic even though im following all the rules in "how to be normal".....its annoying. i try to overlook it and i really don't care but sometimes it makes me question myself .....like what?

Fair warning, this post will be political, is if you are sensitive to that, avoid this post and take care of yourself.

So, I’ve always had a compulsive obsession with others opinions. For example, if some music critic on the internet disliked a band that I’d like, it would literally take me weeks, sometimes months, to muster up the courage to just listen to them on my own again. It’s not some simple social need for acceptance. It is a deep, compulsive obsession. I haven’t been happy since I was a small child. Because I’m always doing something wrong. I always feel like I’m stupid or wrong over little things. I am TERRIFIED of rejection. If I am rejected, then I don’t matter. All my emotions and memories, mean nothing because a few people don’t like me. I am constantly saying sorry over tiny things, I over analyze how people talk to me. I really hope I am describing it well enough.

Now, that’s just with little things. Maybe some people think I have bad taste because I like a certain band or because I like superheroes. It hurts. But that does not compare to my political anxiety. This is the real problem. This is the type of stuff that makes me consider ending it all (I do mean that).

When those election results came around, I doomscrolled Reddit for literal hours, because of the “4B movement” that went viral that following week. I just read and read and read about how angry women were at men. I didn’t ask for any of this. I don’t want to see women hurt. But I was pages and pages of women blaming me and most other men for whatever horrors are about to transpire

Then recently, with all this Canada bullshit. I have a number of doomscrolling hours this time: six. For six hours, I was glued to Reddit, reading how angry Canadians were at me. I never wished harm and Canada. They’ve done nothing to me! But because of my leaders and the people around me, I feel hated. I feel hated by the world. Both of these groups I’ve talked about are talking about boycotting. I understand why. I know why. But it still feels awful. I try so hard to be nice to people, but because I am part of certain groups, I feel hated by everyone. Maybe they’re right. This president is crushing everyone with an iron fist, and American men are the last group of people they deserve sympathy. What am I doing complaining here and seeking validation from strangers. Maybe I’m right, I should end it all. If you don’t like me after reading this post I understand. I’m looking for mental health help so that I can finally be slightly happy. But maybe I don’t deserve it. Maybe I should take a break from Reddit, or maybe they’re all right about me.

hii! a couple of days ago i met someone and i want to be her friend. i accidentally stumbled across her instagram account because we know a lot of the same people and i want to follow her but in scared she’ll think it’s weird, make her uncomfortable, and/or she’ll block me. i know my thoughts are irrational because when we talked she seemed genuinely interested in me and happy to meet me but i still can’t shake the weird feeling. anyone have advice?

I've suffered with social anxiety for around 8 years. While it has got better a new challenge has arisen.

My grandfather past away at the beginning of this month, I've not stopped worrying and ruminating about the service/ funeral which is next week week.

I just don't feel like I can go, I don't want interactions with family's members I've not seen for years, I've not been sleeping, vomiting etc. I explained this to my mother who just swears at me "you better f*******g go, or ill never speak to you again.

I just don't know what to do.

The mods literally ban my posts because I'm trying to save the people's who want to end their life what kind of thing is that when I think about this it's making me insane and anxious asf did I do something wrong man ? I'm overthinking about what wrong why they removed the post like wtf

My therapist told me:

Next time you are feeling anxious, open your mouth as wide as you can and say the letter R with it wide open. Do that 3 or 4 times and that should cause you to yawn and that'll activate yourparasympathetic nervous system which helps you to calm down!

I have this fear constantly it calms down when i am doing hard physical stuff like lifting heavy. I did bjj at that time felt even better because i knew that i am capable to fuck up people as well does not matter how big they are, now that i am taking a break to build more muscle, that fear comes back even when i am talking to people i imagine conflict and violence altercation sparing helps a lot because fear was just an illusion that makes u freeze after that u figure out that u are more capable than u think. For me i do think that martial arts is the best solution and i am planning to go back.

If you have same experience how did u get over it ?

I have no problems going to noisy public places but when youre anywhere near a group of people talking loud I get irritated. I know I can just leave and go somewhere else but when its family or relatives who are like that I usually will have to just endure it.

I don’t know if Tourette’s is the proper way to describe it, but it’s the closest thing I can think of to compare the symptoms.

I don’t really remember ever having social anxiety until grade school when I developed “tics” and “tremors” in my neck and head. For whatever reason I would get a weird pressure behind my eyes and become extremely twitchy and shaky. It’s mainly when I look to the left or right, instead of a smooth motion like a normal person, my neck and head would jerk and I feel uncontrollable “tremors” in the back of my neck and head causing my neck and head movement to be extremely jerky.

Also when my anxiety levels are super high, say I’m about to get into a fight with someone, I become super shaky and twitchy mainly in the head and neck.

Does anyone else get these type of symptoms? I wonder if this is a symptom of anxiety, all in my head, a nerve/neurological issue, or a combination.

Has this improved with age?

I feel like I can never truly relax around people, and that they all are judging me. I am not even interacting with him, just knowing his presence is in this house makes me wan to rip my skin off. I don't mind it if he's been here for a day, I don't like it, but I tolerate it. But he's been here for like a full 24 hrs. He came around 5 o clock yesterday, and he's still here. And there's no indication that he will leave.

I tried to ask my mom to call my brother a few hours ago to see when he will leave, but I got nothing. Just that their chilling. But I really want to listen to music and kick a pillow in the air and zone out of reality. And I cannot do that if he is here. Why? Becaude it is weird, and I know most people don't do that. And also it makes noise, and I don't want to br caught doing that infront of people. (Like what if he and my brother walk in my room to mess with me??) I don't mind it if my family catches me, because like, it's embarrassing but I've been doing that since I was 11 and their used to it at this point.

Everyone says "get over it" or "stop caring" maybe even, "you care about people's opinion too much." They don't understand, and I don't know how to give them a reasonable explanation as to why I want him to leave so badly.

Is hard not to when you have very limited interaction with people. Most people have interactiosn with strangers at least once a day, or have friends to some extent. Me? I rarely interact with people, and I have no friends. So those small interactions feel like a really big deal. Especially when you so desperately want friends and people to like you. Especially when most of your interactions with people leave you with a sense a of dread because you damn well know you said something weird. Like I try to match the vibe, but I ended up doing it too much and embarrassing myself.

And even if I didn't want to zone out, I want him gone. I don't like others seeing me. I am still in my pajamas, my hair isn't brushed, and in general I look unkempt and ugly. But I don't want to get dressed because I am not leaving the house, and I hate how normal close feel on my skin. I can only tolerate lose close of certain fabrics, and most of my day clothes aren't like that. Why? Because the fabric I like is pajamas. I could brush my hair, but its just gonna get re-messied the second I lay down in my bed. (Which is what I do all dya unless I go to my GED classes) I am kinda fat ngl, and have really fat-ass tendencies. Like the first thing I ate today was 6 reese heart things, and 3 snickers. I also have acne, which is probably caused by me laying down all day. I don't smell bad, as I tend to obsessively take showers, but I knoe my hygeine isn't that good. Like I just can't find the motivation to wash by bedsheets, take out the trash, brush my hair, washing my hands. I just feel so tired and sluggish all fucking day.

I get embarrassed to eat in front of them, or go downstairs incase their there. I feel like I'm basically confined to my room because he is there. I don't want him to see me. I don't care with my family because, yk, I LIVE with them. But still. I want him to go. He's been here for long enough, and I'm not trying to be bratty and complain. Outside of me asking my mother to call them to ask, I haven't said or done anything.

My Mom’s boyfriend bought my mom and I dinner, and I was so afraid to sit down at the table and eat with them. I thought about pretending to be asleep, but I felt that would be too rude so I ended up sucking it up and joining them. After we were done eating I literally could not get the words “thank you” to come out of my mouth. I was literally so scared to say them. Now I feel extremely ungrateful and I feel so bad about it🤦‍♂️ why am I like this😭

I'm 17 and looking for a job (or just any way to make money) with hardly any contact with people, ik it sounds stupid but I just don't want to talk to people. Any suggestions?

Hey guys, I find that the social interactions themselves aren’t even what I’m extremely anxious about on a daily basis. (Forgive me as my description may be confusing or hard to understand).

I DO still get anxious about being around people and having to possibly participate in a conversation, but the anxiety ends up being more about being watched while doing something. For example, i get anxious having to go to the bank and talk to the teller, but most of all im anxious about having to pull my card out of my wallet in front of them, and sign my name in front of them. I also feel this when i have to pay somewhere and insert my card, but especially when i have to grab my receipt from the cashier. I fear that while im doing any of these things, a loud noise may occur and im gonna jump really bad from being so on edge. My anxiety is usually so high that im very tense and feel like im gonna spazz out any given second. Anything like this that requires even the slightest concentration, coordination, or precision in front of someone makes me anxious and i end up looking like an uncoordinated goof. It sucks because i actually am well coordinated when im not ridden with anxiety. Im not sure if this is some kind of performance anxiety or maybe overstimulation or both.

Heres an example: I recently went to a sports bar/restaurant to pickup food and had to wait. I was immediately overwhelmed with the loud talking and loud TVs. I hate those places especially if theres actually a game going on. I was extremely anxious and was just anticipating loud yelling at the TV over a game. As i was looking at their menu (to try and distract myself), exactly what i feared happened and my body had a clear reaction to the yelling. It may seem silly, but i already know i look a bit anxious when im out in public so its extra embarrassing when I flinch or something like i’ve never been out of my house before.

I’ve bought some sensory earplugs and they have worked but its actually a bit hard to concentrate when i can hear myself breath, chew, sniffle, etc.

If you have any suggestions or similar experiences i’d love to hear them :)

Out on a nature trail I ran into an acquaintance who I worked with in the past and I am hoping to work together again so I’m anxious about making a good impression.

I was with my spouse who has also met this person so we all said hi and started talking a bit and looking around at the scenery - but my spouse was still texting on his phone and I feel like this person picked up on that and thought it was rude… and now I’m anxious that the whole thing gave them a bad impression. Any thoughts or advice on how to calm my anxiety around this? Thank you!

It definitely feels like liveable life is coming to the end for me. But I've had suicidal thoughts since my teens and never acted on them. I haven't wanted to show my hand with half hearted attempts. I'm in my 40s now and I really don't know know why I'm still here. I've heard of people taking attempts etc but I always wanted to make sure that when the time comes I see it through to completion. But I'm a bit of a coward and a weakling and I never really have the gumption to do anything though. I was walking in the park today and once again the question "why am I even here / alive anymore" kept ringing through my head. I couldn't think of a convincing answer. It is definitely sad though to think of being here one moment and being gone forever the next. Hopefully all of my pets are waiting for me but I doubt it.

The reality is though that social anxiety has taken almost all the value from life for me. Everything is a struggle. A pointless struggle too, because there is never any reward on the other side - just more anxiety and awkwardness to face. And I rarely even feel that I have a chance to be myself, whatever that is. As soon as I step outside and I'm around others I feel like an alien in this society. Whereas in my twenties I felt some drive for life that has mostly gone now. All the ways of dying seem so grotesque though. Living in a constant state of anxiety has ruined any chance of a worthwhile life for me. Objectively my life is utter rubbish - no friends, cruddy job, no partner, nothing here. I didn't want to be born and certainly it's doubtful what value being born has been to me.

There's no real reason to stick around for more of this for another decade. Clearly life is as good as it gets for me, and that's truly awful for most of my life. I miss my childhood a lot. I think I enjoyed life as a kid, maybe up the age of ten. Playing with my figurines and making dens etc. For the last 30 years though I've felt like an oddball, always awkward and weird in public, and prone to fantasies of suicide in private. In my 40s now it definitely feels like the scales are tipping heavily toward finding a way to obliterate myself out of here for good.

I've dealt with panic attacks for years now, but this is a whole new level. I recently got yelled at by a close friend at a party, and I think that's what started them. I was heart broke, and embarrassed, and now anytime I'm going to do something fun I get terrible anxiety. Then, at the hangouts I will get panic attacks and feel like I have to escape. I am just tired of them, and if anyone has any ideas to stop them I'd appreciate it.

I’m an 18M working as a birthday Spider-Man at a children’s jungle-gym type of place. Today I did my normal routine of jumping from the ceiling and landing in the Spider-Man pose, then greet the kid. First thing I notice when I stand up is that the Birthday boy’s older sister is a One Night Stand I had a couple weeks ago.

Probably not important, but she left my place early in the morning before I even woke up. For the entirety of the 1.5 Hour party the birthday boy was attached to my hip, and I did my normal routine, but his older sister was right there next to him the whole time, saying “hey Spider-man” this, and “Spider-Man” that.

I don’t think she realized it was me, but when I was supposed to come out (out of costume) to help my coworkers clean up, I didn’t want to make it awkward, so I told my coworkers I had to deal with something in the back until she left. Never been more anxious in my life. 0/10, would not recommend.

First of all, I would like to mention that English is not my first language, sorry if I made mistakes. I thought that my biggest problem is in small town I lived in. I lived with my parents, and after highschool I lost contact with all my friends, and had only one childhood friend. I used to blame that town for no opportunity for growth and meeting new people. Then I graduated college,lost contact with peers again ( different city) but I still lived with my parents. I had really bad insomnia, and I would overthink daily. I didn't want that my parets see me as fucking looser who sits alone in the room all day, so I went on long walks or took random bus to another city, and told my parents that I'm with my friends. ( That childhood friend wasn't always available and she had other friends too). Then I felt strong urge to just leave that place and start new life. My long distance boyfriend ivited me to live with him, so I moved, different continent btw. Soon I realized, I have overwhelmingly huge anxiety no matter where I live, and it's worse than ever. I haven't met anyone for year. I'm isolated in my room again, and all I do is work (remote job) and waiting for my boyfriend to come home.I did work for couple months with people and masked my anxiety really well, but couldn't make any friends besides that job. I can't even go to grocery store as normal person without hyper self awareness and constant anxiety. I just pray that nobody's gonna ask me anything. I can't have basic social interactions and I really don't know how to talk to people anymore. Few days ago, my bf invited his friends over for dinner and I had small panic attacks before they came, also needed to drink half bottle of alcohol so I could have basic conversation. And yes, I can't talk to and meet my boyfriend's friends bcs they are interacting with me only bcs of him, there's no possibility that we would meet in real life without him. I can't do this anymore, I don't want to live like this forever, I feel miserable. Therapy is not for me, I tried it already, and 'becoming better version of myself' and 'positive thinking' is bullshit

I need some advice or help from people that have successfully cured themselves.

I am a severely anxious and worrisome person. I flush extremely easily and for seemingly no reason at all. Even thinking about it potentially happening makes it happen. I have no social life and no idea how to start one. I’ve been in a new city for a few years after getting sober and moving. I don’t understand how to make friends or get a girlfriend.

I know one thing though. I desperately need to stop flushing. It’s not even for my own sake at this point. I can deal with the embarrassment. It’s to the point though where it is inevitably going to affect an interaction with another individual because it is so strong and so pronounced that every time without fail it makes it awkward and ruins the interaction. Before you start typing, yes it is that bad. I am very fare skinned.

I’m sure there’s some relationship trauma from being cheated on and gaslighted to an extreme most will never experience. Can’t explain it much other than that.

Any advice is much appreciated as I am in need of some. Thank you

I’m middle aged and feel as if my anxiety, embarrassment, and self-consciousness around social interactions are getting worst. I thought getting older would help my confidence. Has anyone had success with therapy? Any good self-care books to read it? Any suggestions really.