I just feel like every day is the same and nothing gives me joy because I got noone to do things with yet I feel like I should be doing things like everyone else, do I just start doing random things by myself?

I started my new antidepressant two days ago, but I’m always nervous about the side effects or how I’ll generally feel. Can anyone give me info on “Paroxetine” the good, the bad, and how it made you feel?

hi. this is going to be a long one, so thanks to whoever may stick through the whole thing. i’ve been awake for over 24 hours ruminating and breaking down over this.

this episode more or less started a few days ago when i became enamored with the actor Jonathan Bailey. i had actually never had a celebrity crush before this. sure, i’ve found celebrities attractive like everyone else. but i’ve never been so impressed by someone’s ability to be exceptional in everything they do. acting, singing, dancing, stunt work, fitness, humor, charm and wit — he has it all and more.

even though i was crushing hard and loving all of his performances i was watching, i would always end up getting extremely depressed and moody by the end of them. i felt my self hatred growing the more i watched him. i then realized that not only was i obsessed with him as a performer but i’m also extremely jealous of him, because he embodies everything I wanted to grow up to be as a kid. i don’t necessarily mean because he’s a celebrity — i honestly have no interest in being famous because it sounds terrible. but i’ve always been connected to music and art. it consumes every part of my consciousness. i am ALWAYS thinking about music, songs, drama, art of any kind.

as a kid and teenager, i played the guitar, drums, bass and piano. i was okay at most of them but great at none of them. i acted in a couple local theater productions. again, passable but nothing special. i wanted to become better though. i wanted to create art worth sharing, and i still do. as i grew older, i practiced and practiced and practiced, but kept plateauing at just being mediocre. as high school went on and i entered college, and i watched all of my musical friends succeed in their artistic endeavors while i continued to plateau, my self esteem plummeted. and let’s just say I didn’t have much to begin with.

i now haven’t played an instrument regularly or created art in years. when i try, the attempts are so bad that I get angry and embarrassed for even trying. i am ashamed of the lack of talent i have. it’s like my body cannot physically create the musical and artistic ideas that my mind generates all day and night. i have all of these visions, and no talent or drive to materialize them. that’s why i’m so incredibly jealous of jonathan bailey. i don’t just think he’s hot and charming, i want to BE him. i want to be that unapologetically confident and hardworking and have all that natural talent pouring out of me, but i’ve never had the talent nor focus and confidence to achieve anything. i’m now 24, and by all metrics am a worse artist than I was when I was 14. I’m just ashamed and devastated.

(CONTINUED in my follow-up comment)

i hate using reddit to vent but i dont see any other option right now.

last year i lived in a city where i felt like i could be carefree and myself for the very first time, i was studying a certain degree there, but i switched majors so i moved to a different city. this city doesn't feel right for me, i thought it would but ever since i moved here i've felt like i need to fit in, i tried desperately, changed the way i talk and act and it only resulted in me feeling more left out. i miss who i was last year, i do truly yearn myself, it breaks my heart that i've lost her and idk how to find myself again. i feel like a product of comsumption, not a person. i feel used and distressed. i miss my past self and the worst thing is that this was my worst fear when i left that city, and i can't go back because the subjects i like are here.

has someone else been in this position? i'm truly lost and saddened.

Let me explain: I’ll be walking and talking with my friends, normally laughing or telling a joke and I’ll just snap out of the moment and it feels like I’ve left my body. Once I’m back into it, after blinking, I just feel really dizzy or as if I’m about to faint and I don’t understand what it is. Has anyone else ever experienced it, and if so did you ever stop other from happening.?

Hello everyone. I've been struggling with this for some time and finally found enough energy to get up and type this out so I can get some help or advice.

For some background: I'm a 19 year old female who has been professionally diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD.

So I'm not sure if this is normal for anyone with those specific illnesses but I'm having trouble getting most things done. Even things like brushing my teeth and making food for myself. I've always had this problem, which I've linked to depression, but recently I've not even been able to sit up (infront of a computer) or stand upright for too long without feeling completely drained of energy.

Most of the time, I get up, sit at my computer for a bit, maybe run to the shops and then immediately feel all energy drain from me and I have to lie down. Sometimes this happens when I'm outside and I have to abort whatever I'm doing and just go home. Recently it's been getting very bad and I'm not even able to complete the work I'm tasked with doing, brush my teeth (even less than before) or go and do shopping.

Any and all advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much

How to stop horniness???

Hey all. Been struggling since with pandemic with depression issues. Have tried several different meds, but honestly the only time the depression symptoms seem to subside is when I'm on my story acting Adderall. Anyone else experience this? Zoloft didn't do anything, and neither did Wellbutrin.

When I get any attitude, disrespect, or if people wrong me my anger and agitation shoot to an astronomical level. Like I want to throw fists angry. Lately I’ve been realizing a lot about how my brain is working and it’s going to be a long 5 days until I’m back in counseling. How do I tame this beast that is my anger?

I 20F have had 3 relationships now in the space of one year where I have heavily fallen in love with the person and then after 2 months, completely lost all feelings for the person. I have recently broken up with my boyfriend after the same thing has happened and I feel in so much pain because I feel so guilty for him because he loved me and I didn't feel the same. I really miss him but I know that I don't feel romantically for him and when he moves on from me and finds someone else, I will be angry and upset but also frustrated with myself because I couldn't give him what he needed.

I don't know why this changing emotions happens to me. I have had an assessment for bipolar disorder and was found to not have it; I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and possibly emotionally unstable disorder but she wasn't able to give me a specific answer. I just wanted to know if anyone else has struggled with this and has any advice as to how to cope with it. Thanks :)

Is it possible for someone to stay on call with me while I fall asleep? I'm feeling very scared for some reason, just want someone to be there.

(20f) I expressed to my mom that i hate receiving gifts bc of the guilt she would cast on me as a child. When i would get gifts for Christmas, in early january i would always hear about how broke they are because of christmas and how my mom doesn’t have a cent left to her name. This really affected me as a child and it still does now. Anytime anyone buys me anything i feel an unreal amount of guilt. My boyfriend will buy me flowers and all i can think about it how he is a college student who can’t afford that. It sends me down a spiral and makes me feel like such a burden in my life. I had a talk with my mo last night about this and kind of admitted how much it affected me. At first she did the whole “i know i’m the worst mom in the world, i know, you had it sooooo bad.” thing and made me feel horrible for even bringing it up. After further conversation she admitted that her intentions were not to hurt me and she was just close to me and would tell me everything, and she apologized for that. I heard about money struggles my whole life and now i even struggle to buy a sandwich without beating myself up for spending the money. How can i move past this? How can i help my mom heal while helping myself heal too? I know i am supposed to set boundaries with my parents and i am trying but everytime i do it backfires and my mom specifically is sent into a “im gonna kms” spiral because she has hurt us kids. It is so hurtful and i love her and i want her to be happy. I don’t know where to go from here.

I find that during this time of year I get sad for no reason. I’m not depressed, I just get sad for around two months and then I’m fine. I’m currently 15 and for the past three years I’ve been achingly sad every December-January. I don’t think anything’s wrong with me, I just have to figure my shit out. Every news years for the past three years I’ve sent my night in my mom’s bed, listening to her and my dad beg me to eat something or talk to them. I feel like such a burden. Nothing happens to trigger the sadness, I just get so sad I feel it in my bones for two months. How can I get over this annoying and miserable habit?

For me, I have existential dread problems and some music that helps calm me down is Modest Mouse which is like alt-rock and kinda psychedelic music and music made by Joe Hawley from Tally Hall and Miracle musical who’s songs often cover existential topics.

What about you guys?

I have adhd and depression and my psychiatrist keeps trying to medicate me instead of addressing my issues. He has put me on a range of antidepressants that have not helped me and made me feel sleepy and numb. He's done the same with trying to treat my anxiety but the medication has only made me feel worse. I am so worried that my brain chemistry is in shambles after all he's put me on. I miss feeling like myself before I started all of this. Anyone have suggestions on what I can do?

Hey reddit,

My fiancé (M26) has been dealing with depression for a while, before we got together 3 years ago but it's been okay for those 3 years minus a few bumps. Recently I have been really worried because he has been getting very irritable, stubborn, lacking motivation, struggling to get out of bed and go to work. He took last week off of work because he couldn't face it. The problem is, he won't open up, whenever I try to help him or get him to talk about it. I suggested he go on medication which he has done eventually after a few tries but he gets frustrated at the prescription system. He gets angry when I try to get him to do some exercise with me or if I cook him a healthy meal he doesn't like it or get frustrated at how I have made it. The smallest of things will frustrate him or overwhelm him too. I have suggested therapy but he has had that before in the past and he didn't like it.

I (F25) just don't know what else to do to help him when he shuts down all my attempts to help or support him, or seek help for himself. I myself have diagnosed depression, it's managed but I've been through it and I know how important outside support is in getting you on your feet, and just how helpless you can feel.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can help him or how to approach the situation?

Thanks in advance guys :)

Before I go on, I'd like to clarify that I'm a bit of a skeptic when it comes to this kind of thing. I've always been one to seek evidence and logical reasons for things that seem abnormal. That being said I feel it necessary to share this. I'm not outlining this prediction in an attempt to worry people, but I myself am worried and I guess I'm seeking some comfort.

My dad has always been akin to a magnet to weird things, spiritually speaking. I've never had any direct evidence to believe in spirit, but some circumstances and events around my dad have certainly made me question things sometimes.

Against his will he's often attracted 'ghosts' and has had messages and premenitions that turned out to be true. The most significant thing that I can recall is when he was in bed one night with his ex-wife, and woke up to a recurring voice in his head of "Kay", and felt the prescence of somebody. He woke up his wife and described the lady, and told her that somebody called Kay seemed to be visiting. His wife (a hairdresser) said that the only Kay she knew of was an old lady that she cuts hair for regularly. A couple of days later when his wife went into the salon for work, one of her colleagues mentioned how this Kay had passed away in her sleep (the same night of the visit) and so won't be returning anymore.

Anyway, I'm rambling, but my point is that despite being skeptical, I've always been intrigued by my dada experiences and experiences of people when around him, and he's the only thing that's made me query the paranormal.

I was on the phone to him tonight after not speaking for a while, and after he notified me of a family friend who's been diagnosed with cancer, we ended up talking about life and death. I asked him if he'd had any experiences in recent months, and he said that he rarely experiences anything anymore, maybe due to the fact that he try's to dismiss and shut them off, but there had been one, just a few days ago. He didn't want to worry me but he said that when in bed the other night, something kept tapping his headboard, as if to try to wake him. Then he heard a voice say...

"December 11th. Doomsday"

If it were anybody else, then I would dismiss it as some kind of vivid dream or sleep paralysis experience. It's certainly probable that it was just that, but as my dad has had some strange things happen, it's made mer nervous. I've been depressed again recently and now this is just driving me sick with worry. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm full of dread about that date now and can't focus on much else.

I really hope it's just a nonsensical dream that he had, and that it doesn't mean anything, but until December 12th I'm going to feel on edge with a massive sense of doom.

Just needed to get this off my chest because I feel so anxious about it yet I can't speak to anybody in my life about it lest they think I'm crazy or gullible.

What do others think? I know I probably shouldn't worry. I mean, one thing I've told myself is if the world was truly going to end on December 11th, why the hell would whoever 'they' are tell my dad and seemingly nobody else.

I feel the need to prove that I’m not lazy because people looked down on me for it all my life. I feel guilty when I’m not being productive. Is this normal?

My job, my place, my hobbies, nothing feels meaningful anymore. I've been coping by going to parties and being out late several nights a week because thats the only thing that makes me feel anything anymore. I dont know if Im depressed or just tired, but everything feels like such a chore and I struggle seeing a light in the tunnel. I want to run away from everything.

Hi there, i had a pretty traumatic experience around 4-5 years ago. Seems stupid but I had my first panic attack and I was on the 42th floor of a building in my appartment and I had this feeling that I was losing control over my body and since then, I’ve been having panic attacks periods. So, let me explain, since this episode, I can barely go on higher floors otherwise I’ll feel like I’m dizzy and that at anytime I’m gonna throw myself off the window (Which I clearly don’t want to), and this thoughts give me so much anxiety. It extends to everything in life where I’m one action away from death. Let’s say I’m waiting for the train, I’ll be panicking because I’ll be scared I’m gonna lose control and jump on the rails and so on. Even driving had become problematic a bit. And it’s difficult for me to stay still in places with a lot of people. I need to move and keep myself busy otherwise these thoughts will come back and I’ll be super anxious to the idea of screaming or losing control in public. I was drinking pretty heavily as it was the only thing that make it at ease, but now I gave up since 4 months. The symptoms are getting better but sometimes they are so vivid that i feel like my body is just gonna do whatever it wants. My question is, did anybody ever experience that? And if yes, how did you overcame it if you did?

Thanks for reading and Cheers 🫶

I just got out of a friend group of four. One of these people was the closest friend I’ve ever had and I genuinely thought that we would be friends for life, turns out they were all shit talking me behind my back though. I confronted them and they ended up making random shit up about me for literally no reason whatsoever. I still have a few friends but I feel like Im not actually close to any of them? they were all friends before and I’m just there, I dont have anybody anymore. What pisses me off most is that nobody actually cares at all, not even my ex best friend. I’m the only person who is actually bothered about what happened, everyone has moved on and I’m being left behind. I’m grateful that my current friends are nice to me however I can’t help but feel alone, I love them all but talking and being present feels like such a chore lately and I no longer have the energy for anything. Not exams, not friends, not taking care of myself, nothing. I’m in year 11 so I only have to deal with this for one more year but I really just need a break. I feel detached from everything yet it’s not enough, I wish I could just remove myself completely.

I feel like I have two people living inside of my body. And it makes me really claustrophobic,and I have extremely mild mood swings. Whenever I get slightly annoyed I always jump straight to violence like punching myself in the arm or jaw. And sometimes I hurt the people around me. A couple of weeks ago me and my friend were in the gym and he was being slightly annoying like very very slightly. And I got up from the bench and I stuck my thumbs into his eyes out of anger. And a few weeks ago I'm always getting into fights which is something I would never normally do. I feel like this second person harvested when my brother died. I've had a pretty shit life but no matter what happened I never got violent like this. NEVER but now it's like a second nature. But only sometimes? I seriously feel like there's two separate sides of myself. One is normal but tgr other part is a mean bully. I want to cure myself but I don't know how. I've been to a doctor but all he did was tell me to flick my arm with a hair band. Which didn't work. And no matter what I do I feel like this other person won't go away. And I constantly feel like every moment I live is a memory. I keep on forgetting things from a few seconds ago. And I feel like everything around me is fake,not real like it's a dream. I feel tired but not physically. And sometimes I have the urge to punch the people I'm with. Like if me and my friend are having a fun time I'll just have the urge to hurt them.

TLDR:I feel like I have to personalities one good one bad and constantly feel unreal. And I'm quick to violence

I just need someone to talk to no one takes it serious

i don’t know if this is a good subreddit for this, but i don’t know where else to go. we are both 16. my (long distance) boyfriend has been getting terrible seasonal depression. he just texted me he doesn’t think he’s going to be okay. he has a very bad history, and i’m so scared he’s going to actually commit. i don’t know how to help him, especially being long distance. i suggested him getting help any means necessary but i just am so scared and anxious, i feel like i could provide so much more. i’m so scared of losing him. i don’t know what to do and i’m just so scared and anxious, i just feel like i can do so much more for him. i know where he lives, but i don’t want to get a wellness check on him. i think he’d hate me if i did that, or just be mad. i think he’s been institutionalized before? i’m not too sure, but i do know he has attempted before and i’m so scared he will. i am gonna see if he can call sometime soon, maybe talking over the phone can help? i’m just so lost and anxious

Hey m30 here, so basically for the majority of my life I've had niggling health issues but from about 19-20 year old they've just become more frequent and relentless, up until the past year or 2 I've "managed" but the cracks have very much shown and had a couple of mental break downs for one reason or another. I'm a Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome suffer and its just really getting me down, I've tried antidepressant (fluoxetine) and it did help slightly to not completely lose it.

Basically is there anyone else out there in the same boat as I am? suffering with health issues that just sap your mental energy? I know I'm likely not alone in this but I'm very much feeling that way at the moment and feeling like a burden on my beautiful little family I have.

I've been trying everything for depression ever since I was 16. I'm currently 25. I threw away all of my teenage years and early 20s due to this shit. I finally got the balls to attempt last night, but I didn't realise how thick the skin above the arteries in my wrist would be. Now I just look like an attention seeking shit.

My family has given up on me. And who could blame them? I've given up on myself. Nothing works and I'm just getting worse everyday. I can't keep a job. I can't keep a friend. Fuck, I can't even keep a consistent routine. I just sleep all the time. Maybe vape or drink when I can afford it.

I lost the love of my life very recently due to the depression getting worse. It was my fault. I pushed her away. Now the thought of her moving on is kinda bittersweet. She'll end up happier without me, but I can't bear the idea of it at the same time.

I'm just venting I think. Or maybe hoping for that one comment that changes everything in my desperation. I just want to be happy so badly. I'll accept a life of poverty, a life without love, any compromise, just to be happy.

Hi everyone, I’m a 22M, and I’ve been struggling with the idea of death lately—not my own, but the thought of losing my loved ones: my parents, siblings, and even my pet.

It’s hard for me to see my parents getting older. They’ve sacrificed so much to provide for me and my siblings, and I feel this strong desire to give back to them someday. But time feels like it’s moving so fast, and it scares me.

The thought of them not being here one day is something I just can’t wrap my head around. It hits me sometimes, and it’s so overwhelming that I wish I could go first just to avoid witnessing their loss.

I don’t think I’m depressed—it’s not something I dwell on constantly—but whenever I do think about it, it’s tough to make peace with. I tell myself, “Everyone has to go someday,” but that doesn’t seem to help.

How do you come to terms with this reality? Does it get easier with time? I’d love to hear how others deal with these thoughts.

I don't feel like going into my life's story. I just need help, because if I don't change myself soon, I'm going to go crazy. I'm a social outcast and a monster, and everyone around me is burned. Is there anywhere I can go to get better that doesn't require money, because I am a wreck and I have no resources or money.

‏I have a complete loss of interest in all activities that used to interest me. I tried to keep things normal and ignore it but I got more and more depressed day by day. I feel like I want to sleep all the time, I don't want to wake up I wish I could sleep for days without waking up if there were no responsibilities It's been 9 months and things are getting worse. Is there any hope that I can get back to normal?

I’m 17 and I just feel like I’ve been going insane recently. Unless I’ve been drinking or smoking it’s like I’m constantly stressed, unhappy, or angry about something. I genuinely got so irrationally mad about how to spend my birthday money. I only really feel happy or comfortable showing love to people when I’ve been drinking. I’ve been a pretty angry person for a couple years now (since puberty and I know anger issues run in my family) but it’s basically constant now. I tweak about the smallest things and then I start tweaking about how much I’m tweaking. I’ve been finding it harder to do anything productive like exercise, do homework, or practice. I was more responsible at 13 than I am now. I get extremely annoyed and stressed by my family really easily, even them just talking or making noise. My parents and me were kinda arguing during dinner and I heard them talking about me seeing someone and when I was ranting to someone I’m close with about how bad it is they said I should try medication. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but for the past eight or so months I’ve genuinely felt like there’s something wrong with my brain. Even writing this I’m getting so fucking mad because Reddit is glitching.