Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 1 posts:

• "Happy Cakeday, r/EatingDisorderHope! Today you're 10" by u/AutoModerator

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 1 posts:

• "Happy Cakeday, r/EatingDisorderHope! Today you're 9" by u/AutoModerator

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 10 posts:

• "What you think will happen when you start recovery vs. what actually happens ❤" by u/EastofEatin
• "I’ve made it to over a year clean from my eating disorder! I’ve had it since I was 9 and I’m now 17. I’m so proud of myself. It was a life or death situation which forced me into recovery. I’m so happy I did it!" by u/Arttc
• "Orthorexia: The Rarely Talked About Eating Disorder" by u/imiximix
• "The problem with eating disorders that aren't Anorexia Nervosa with an emphasis on EDNOS" by u/forgetmenot5683
• "Too severe for outpatient?" by u/get_in_muh_belly
• "Eating Disorder win!!" by u/MischaBaller
• "How To Write A Goodbye Letter To Your Eating Disorder" by u/imiximix
• "Does anyone else use starvation as a coping mechanism for stress and self directed anger? This is more of DAE type post. Also asking for some advice" by u/Lawliet_The_Panda
• "quarantine ruined my routine :/" by u/awakenthetruth
• "High Risks for Anorexia" by u/imiximix

Email Info@KeystoneTC.com for zoom links!

Topic: Quarantine challenges, tips and tricks.

Time: Apr 17, 2020 06:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

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Join Zoom Meeting

https://us04web.zoom.us/j/79783370295?pwd=MlJHbFlWTTZZNVh0VXdtbkY2ZkE4Zz09

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Over the past 3-4 years i´ve noticed many problems which lead to procrastination and no success when it comes to gaining weight, once you have decided to live healthier and get to a "normal" weight.

1. SUPPLEMENTS and SHAKES > Well - balanced diet

—> So this is what i think is true:
There are weight-gain-powders, shakes and supplements, you name it!
And there are useful IF your already got a good foundation.
A good foundation means, you now how much you should eat, you now how to get all your minerals and vitamins, you know …the basics!

So if you use those supplements and shakes as a short-cut, you most likely will be disappointed sooner or later!
Because there are not many people who can afford those expensive things for years or DECADES. Because this is the truth. If you have no clue what u are doing and you you rely on those things - you have to consume them for EVER.

This is why you often hear things like: I tried xyz, then i quit, and lately I started again…)

So never forget the basics!

2. TIME to eat

—> There are 2 possibilities:
Either you take the time to eat, OR you don’t.
(in quarantine you should have enough time)
So if you are super skinny, and you it is something important for you, i hope u are willing to invest some time and energy, because time is most likely NOT the limiting factor in your situation.

Which point u can relate to the most?
What is the hardest part of gaining weight in ur situation?

So I’m a junior and I’m trying to work with online school and my eating disorder mentality (I only say that because I do not commonly starve myself, at least before quarantine started, but I do think about it a lot and personally I find my body disgusting) has already been really bad since quarantine and my self image has gone absolutely down the drain so the thought of starving myself has not become uncommon to me and for a while now I’ve noticed that I think like this a lot when I’m angry at myself and when I’m stressed (I don’t only feel like this during those times but they do happen during this times). So I have a fuck ton of work to do and most of it is due tomorrow so I decided to pull an all nighter so I can get all of my work done and like a dumbass I fell asleep at around 12 AM… It is now 6 PM and all of my teachers office hours are closed and my math tutor isn’t available till tomorrow so I basically just royally fucked myself over by sleeping and I’m mad at myself right now and I’m so stressed and now I don’t want to eat for two days. Doesn’t help that my mom just threw a fit at me (which I may post about in the raised by narcissists subreddit). I was accidentally a shitty friend to one of my friends and I just feel awful and like an awful person. I know it sounds incredibly stupid but its just kind of how I feel when I’m stressed and/or angry at myself and when I fuck up a lot. I feel like it may be sort of a “you don’t deserve food because you’re a shitty fucking person who fucks up a lot” and plus once I already feel self-hatred over one thing that will start to deep into other things and then next time I look in the mirror I just think about how disgusting my body is. I don’t know what to do about this because I legit don’t think I’ll be able to eat later and it doesn’t help that I’ve been particularly feeling like shit about my body more recently. So my question is, is this normal for like anyone else also how do some of you deal with this kind of stuff because I don’t really know how to deal with this? I’m really really sorry if this doesn’t fit the tone of the sub Reddit fully, I just didn’t know where else to go. Also does anyone have good coping mechanisms for when you feel the urge to starve yourself in general?

My sister made cookies. I managed to eat a decent amount, but I‘m afraid I might lose control tomorrow. I hate candy and how tempting it is. I hate overeating. I start idealizing my disciplined anorexic self. She was mentally slow , moody and miserable, but I‘m that still sometimes. I miss my visible cheekbones and my thigh gap. I keep triggering myself with videos and posts, but I can’t go back because I lack discipline. I hate overeating. I don’t want this to happen. I weigh 10kg more than I did before Ana. I know, there are bigger fish to fry. But still. I want to prove myself that I‘m strong enough to resist cookies. I used to be able to do it. Why not anymore? Yikes

As the title suggests, I’ve just weighed myself for the first time since early August.

I went through a few years of restricting to the point where I physically struggled to stand up for long periods of time and then another few years of having no self control around food at all. I’ve never had the best relationship with my weight, and came to the conclusion 2 years ago that I would be happier if I stopped weighing myself regularly.

Until today, that was what I did. With that said, I’m now working on losing weight healthily (first attempt since all of my issues) and I would like to get back into weighing myself biweekly or even monthly, just so I can keep my Fitbit account updated.

Anyway, I’m making this post because I didn’t feel that impending sense of doom, panic and guilt that I used to feel when I weighed myself. It was just a number and then... nothing. It’s a massive step in the right direction for me and I’m grateful to be where I am today. I wanted to share my achievement with you guys because this sub is lovely and there’s not enough hopeful news floating around these days.

It’s possible, people ✨

Hi guys,

Hope you are well and healthy during this strange time. I have suffered from bulimia and binge/restrictive eating for the past 8 years, but I'm feeling as I do recover for the past year. However, whenever there is a extreme change of circumstances/environment, I relapse. Hence I wanted to open a discussion - what challenges have you faced in the last few weeks during quarantine? And do you have any tips on how do you cope with them?

I'll start first: my biggest challenge, in the beginning, was to identify when I am really hungry or full after eating. I have coped with this by being engaged with other activities: remote work, baking, learning online courses. It has worked really well for me - I feel good and my weight is back to my normal. (after another recent relapse to binge eating which lasted for a month)

However, sometimes I still get obsessive thoughts about how much and what i ate. It happens almost automatically at the end of everyday and I'm not sure how to eliminate these thoughts from my head completely.

Hi everyone!

I am hosting a FREE Ed support group on FRIDAY where we will be talking about tips and tricks to stay on track during quarantine. Visit my website for more info! The group will be in EASTERN STANDARD TIME!

https://meghankenny.squarespace.com/events-2

Guys please help me. I've had an eating disorder for years now, started with anorexia and in the last few years has progressed into a major binge eating disorder/food addiction. I was slowly improving at my apartment since I kept food out of the house and only ate when I went out, which gave me some sense of normalcy. Now I'm back at home ever since the lockdown began and I've been binging almost every day, binging and restricting etc. Help me!! Please, I'm desperate and starting to lose it. Any tips and tricks you guys might have? I'm starting to feel hopeless

I (f16) eat very unhealthy and i always have. I'm constantly paranoid that I'm gonna develop a serious health problem because of it. I've been bulimic and anorexic in the past and i can't shake off the feeling of just not wanting to eat at all. It seems like it's always either 'eat nothing' or 'eat a little bit of this unhealthy thing' except it's never a "little bit." I'll binge until I can't eat anymore. I don't know how to control myself with food. My family has always fed me unhealthily my whole life and I don't know how I can break this habbit. Any advice ?

My girlfriend has been bulemic for a while, but she was getting better for a while until recently she relapsed and now she's anorexic as well, she hasn't eaten in 6 days. I'm really scared, she says she likes the feeling of being hungry and she doesn't want to even try to eat. She isn't admitting that she has a problem. How to I help her 😭

I am diagnosed with mixed eating disorder or Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. (EDNOS) It means that I have characteristics of other disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. In my opinion, the biggest issue here is the fact that with most other EDs besides anorexia there aren't usually many physical signs that cause alarm. Anorexia nervosa is life threatening. Hair can fall out, person is often emaciated, and it is obvious the person needs help.

I am 5'3", 130 pounds, workout, look relatively fit, hold down a job... I have had an eating disorder for 10 years (since I was 16), but it wasn't diagnosed until I was 19 when I went began seeing a counselor in college to address self harm. I have, over the years, restricted calories, binged, purged, overexercised. I used to write about how much I hated myself and my body. Journals filled with self hate. I was on pro ana websites and cried about what I percieved to be "lack of discipline" and idolized these women who I now see were killing themselves. I feel ashamed saying that, but I wanted so badly to be thin.

The problem is that most other eating disorders either make the person a normal weight, slightly overweight, or obese. With my weight, if I talk to people about my ED they don't take me seriously. They think I'm fine, that I'm a hypochondriac, but every day is a struggle not to binge, purge, obsess. When I was slightly overweight during my most extreme binge and occasionally purging phases I remember my family and friends telling me I should exercise more and eat healthier because I was gaining weight. At my most restrictive phases paired with excessice exercise I was praised for how great I looked. For overweight people they are often judged. People don't see a person struggling as the victim of a disorder, they see a person who lacks the discipline and motivation to eat healthy and exercise.

I think there needs to be more awareness. I usually only see movies, documentaries, and books focused on anorexia, which is a terrible, deadly disease that deserves attention, but we shouldn't forget about all of these other disorders that affect people so deeply and cause so much shame, pain, and suffering.

Is extreme hunger normal? When will it stop? It always seems to kick in at night or dinner time.. is that normal?

Hi everyone,

You may have seen me commenting on some posts recently. I am a mental health counselor at a residential eating disorder facility, and I am reaching out to those in need of support. I know quarantine can take a toll on eating disorders, so I am here to help. Please check out my website, and spread the word! Hopefully we can work together. #EatingDisoderRecoveryCoaching #hereforYOU

Much love,

Meghan

https://meghankenny.squarespace.com/

I'm 14 years old and I have never struggling with food so much before, I've lost quite a bit of weight due to eating less I think and I've began to feel guilty every time I eat. I'm struggling and I don't know what to do, I've been filling myself up on water to try and suppress my appetite and even though I'm hungry I feel like I can't eat. I'm obsessing over calories and weight and I don't know what to do at this point I really need some advice

My mother sent me to therapy for suspected anorexia when I was in middle school. I insisted i didn’t finish my packed lunches because she packed me bruised apples and expired yogurt. I believed this myself. But what if I was lying to myself? It wasn’t until college that I found myself with weird eating habits. I didn’t like going to the dining hall because eating around people made me very very anxious. For about a week during “finals” I ate nothing but lettuce with vinegar and pickles. When my general anxiety gets bad and then subsides I feel a need to eat and I usually end up eating and eating until my stomach kills.

I started working out with my partner a few months ago. He does bulks and cuts, increasing his food for a few months in order to gain muscle and then diets for a few months to lose the fat and show off the new muscle. For those not familiar it is common practice in the fitness world. When I started working out my appetite increased naturally and I gained 10lbs in 2 months. This scared the hell out of me and I quickly stopped exercising and tried to control my diet which only led to more anxiety and binge nights which is where I am now. With corona going on I feel trapped with this realization that I have a problem but no one to reach out to. Therapists aren’t taking on new clients when we aren’t allowed to leave our houses.

With my anxiety I know tips and tricks to calm myself down since it’s something I’ve dealt with most of my life but I have no idea how to start dealing with my eating on my own and my partner isn’t helping when he says I don’t need to lose weight, that I’m beautiful. Do you have any articles, advice or anything I can do to start dealing with this?

I have been fighting ED's for over 10 years now, first diagnosed with anorexia (9-13y) and once I started to balance my eating again, I was diagnosed with body dysmorphia(14-19y).

I was in a relationship for 5 years that really really did not help, he would cheat with numerous people and when I asked why he did it, he would give me a list of all the things I was doing wrong, most of the list was my appearance, for example, my legs were too long, he wanted me to dye my hair brown, etc.

Since then I moved to university and found someone amazing, he is truly incredible and makes me feel like I can finally be myself without the fear of him running off with other people. However, with the virus outbreak we can't see each other, and probably won't for 6 months. This has completely thrown me out of routine, and I do feel myself starting to creep into bad habits, hiding foods, skipping meals, calorie counting, weighing myself after every meal, etc.

I think I just need some strategies to help cope with what is happening, has anyone else ever found themselves having a mini relapse?

I don't know if I am wrong for feeling this, but I feel proud for being able to identify my behaviours and so at least I know that I need to reach out for help.

Does anyone have any tips that have worked for them in the past?

My personal experience is that I am easily able to stick to my ED and don’t experience hunger during the day but after I eat my dinner it’s like all the sudden I’m a hunger machine and I am easily able to say fuck you ED I’m eating. Like I’ll have dinner and still be at a very “safe” calorie amount for me but then it’s like now I’ve gotten comfortable with then giving into the hunger and my fear foods. It doesn’t feel like a binge physically because I don’t eat till I’m sick or do it without thinking.. it’s out of this weird extreme hunger that kicks in.. then leaving me guilty and causing the cycle to start the next day.

I am looking for advice..

I've been purging. Maybe for the past 2-3 weeks? Yeah, I know I should expect it but I'm still kind of worried. And I've drinking energy drinks everyday for a while now. I shouldn't complain about the pain

I know that I have a lot of wonky thoughts about food, as well as body dysmorphia. I feel like I’m being unfair to my husband. But I know that him being around me is making me not want to eat. TLDR at the bottom.

My husband is a lot chubbier now than when we got married. When we got married he was very slim, actually. He worked abroad for a year after we got married and we really only started living together this month. While working abroad he gained a good deal of weight. When he gains weight he gets a back hump & loses his neck/chin entirely. I am no longer attracted to him although I still love him very much. It doesn’t help that he gains weight in his lower body in the exact same way that the man who abused me when I was a teenager does - basically when he’s on top of me and I feel his body, I get flashbacks to being raped again. It sucks and it’s 100% not his fault.

He hates his weight gain and talks frequently about getting fit again. He used to be a boxer and a surfer and hates being unfit & feeling unhealthy. I’m trying o support him in this as best I can. He really is a wonderful guy and I want him to be healthy and happy.

The issue, however, is that he is not eating healthy or exercising at all. I try not to enable him and I work out regularly and eat healthy (at the beginning of quarantine we snacked a lot because it felt like vacation, and we were bored trapped inside) but when I see him eating constantly it disgusts me and in “retaliation” (this is an emotional response, not a logical one, I know it’s stupid) I don’t eat. I’m skipping meals for days in a row. When I go to eat something and he sees me do so, he always eats too and eats WAY more than he needs to. I can’t snack without him snacking double. When I try to get him to exercise he gives up halfway and I work out extra long and hard in order to... guilt him? Punish myself? I don’t know why I’m having these impulses.

I lived with an abusive man for two years (I left because he was going to kill me if I stayed. Very violent). He was also fat, complained about being fat, and did nothing about it. Where these men differ is: my abuser would shame me for my body and call it/me “disgusting” very frequently. I know a lot of my current disordered eating is coming from trauma brain.

I need to talk to my husband. I just don’t know how to do so.

TL/DR: living with my chubby husband is making me not want to eat and I’m starting to over-work out. A lot of my gut feelings are informed by past trauma & abuse.

How do I discuss this with my husband without body shaming him or making him feel terrible?

If you don't want to read everything the last 3 paragraphs are the important part.

I had BED for around 8 years which has turned into bulimia these past 2 years. I'm overweight due to a mix of my eating disorder and hypothyroidism.

Before I knew I had hypothyroidism I was gaining weight even though I was excercising more and eating healthier (considering.) I was terrified and started purging more.

I ended up being practically on bedrest for awhile because I had Lyme disease, but started losing a little bit of weight because the antibiotic made me throw up all the time. I realized when I was happy I had Lyme because it caused me to lose weight that I have a problem.

Vomiting so much basically put my ED into overdrive once I recovered from Lyme disease. Over the course of a month I went from purging once a week to multiple times a day.

My counselor at my college recommended me to a residential facility where I go to school, but I would have to withdraw and I had to withraw when I had Lyme disease the previous semester, and I couldn't afford to pay for a year of out of state tuition without getting any credits.

I am going to a facility in my home state over the summer. I feel like this is such a weird fear but I'm worried that the fact I'm overweight is going to trigger other people in the facility, and that I shouldn't go because they need the help more than I do, and me being there may hurt their recovery. I also feel like that's my brain trying to make excuses to continue having an ED.

I'm also worried I'll be judged by others there because I'm overweight. I feel guilty that I could even entertain the idea, because they are trying to get help for something so horrible. I feel so guilty thinking that about people who I've never even met, and are struggling in their own way.

I know that I need help though. Every attempt I've made to lose weight has done nothing but make my ED worse. I feel like I'm beyond being able to fully recover on my own and I don't want to die from this. Both of my sisters died young, 38 and 35, and one passed away 2 weeks ago. I can't stand the thought of my mom burying all of her children, and my dad burying his only child. Even though I hate having an ED in the first place, I am happy I'm recovering, and I'm going to be getting more help soon.

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Don’t mean to make anyone feel bad bout themselves: Had a really good meal today ate 4 pieces of pizza and 2 breadsticks. Normally if I ate that much I’d pull trig but i didn’t today. Still feel like I ate way too much but hey it’s the little shit.

(Have had bulimia for 10+ years - Been recovering for 11 months)

I find this corona quarantine situation both relieving and difficult? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I get to relax a lot. It's impossible to be as active as normally, biking, running, walking etc. And it's acatully quite nice to slow down a bit.

On the other side I'm a bit bored, and it's difficult to stick to the regular eating plan, breakfast - lunch - dinner. Also, all this alone time is messing with my head, I think too much about food and calories.

Watching netflix and you want to snack, sitting on the balcony in the sun and you want to snack, being bored and you want to snack etc.

Everything is different and I don't know what to feel? And how to handle it? 😑

Any tips and/or thoughts?