I have an auDHD friend who is severely burnt out, almost completely nonfunctional, and every task and work day worsens it, but they can't stop because they're very very poor (less than 1500 a month, often less than 1000). They really need their finances covered while they just get bedrest, or they're worried they'll go off the deep end very soon. Are there any grants or long term financial assistance in existence in the USA for personal use that doesn't need paid back? They live in a red state (USA) that has very poor social services, so applying for disability again is a waste of time for them. They are diagnosed with ADHD but not with autism (damn doctor sat with them all of 5 minutes and decided they couldn't possibly have it because they made eye contact a few times, ugh).

I’m neurodivergent and can be very hyperactive and social but sometimes I have these periods where I don’t reach out to people and I feel bad, it’s not like I can’t talk but usually it happens after a stressful week, is this normal?

Every time when my hair gets cut, I will throw and push everything and even punch the wall. And why do I cut my hair in the first place? It's because of school and its strict policies

My boyfriend has been mainly cooking for me after a serious trauma happened to me last year and triggered my childhood ARFID - which was way worse than what I’d been experiencing in adulthood. I now have serious aversions to most “raw” foods, like meats, veggies, fruits. I’ve been mainly eating boxed things and whatever my boyfriend cooks for me - usually breakfast and dinner.

Since the event I’ve been becoming physically sick when I’m in the grocery store, like I’m fighting to not throw up. I also feel panicked, nauseated, and like I’ll faint.

If I’m presented with “what do you want to eat”, or I have to look at food, particularly the deli section - I get that sick sensation like when you’ve had food poisoning and can’t think of food anymore.

I’m really at my wits end with this. I’ve been trying to get better with it as I feel bad that my boyfriend has had to really pick up the slack.

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it. The traumatic event started when I was in our local grocery store, I got news over the phone, and I do actually avoid that isle now…

Hmm.

First off I want to say I'm not asking for a diagnosis. This is more of a brain dump where I want feedback from y'all before I take a neuropsychological test.

I feel more confident in thinking I may have ADHD or NVLD but here we go. (I have other conditions that may mimic autism too so that may be a point against it.)

Why I am thinking I may:

-Sometimes I can't tell when people are joking or not. I mean usually this is in regards to strangers like customers at work. Then they have the audacity to laugh when I am confused. If my response involves (to said joke) saying "No we don't have _____ or "No, sorry," they laugh. Sometimes I don't even get why they are laughing. Like what?!

-I interrupt and have a hard time trying to give my two cents especially if it is 2+ people. This may be ADHD thought because my thoughts are not linear. I usually know that if I say something I will have to explain how I have arrived to that thought in the first place.

-Does tenacity tend to be common with autism? If so I have been called that multiple times by my parents.

-Black and white thinking.

-My sense of humor is odd and unconventional.

-I would cry so much especially as a child in regards to loud noises. I am still pretty sensitive emotionally too.

-I hate eye contact. Hate it!!! I feel like I "look through" people's faces and not at them too. I'm not even shy, and my therapist assumed it was because I am shy, but I'm not. Even when I had bad social anxiety it wasn't because of that. I could tell.

-I have mild prosopagnosia (face blindness).

-I have poor executive functioning symptoms.

-I definitely stim.

-I listen to music on repeat as a stim too.

-I hate it when instructions or rules are not specific and literal. Unless they are clear that they're just guidelines, don't call them rules. Tht makes absolutely NO sense to me and I get annoyed when I get in trouble for not following the rules right when they aren't clear. Sometimes it's not even instructions that I take literally.

-I get upset when there are small changes in my environment or when there is a sudden change of plans. I take the same route to specific places every time I can.

-Strong empathy and my morals are ridged.

-I feel very analytical when it comes to reading body language sometimes. For example yesterday, I saw a coworker who either seemed focused, distressed, or confused. I looked at her eyebrows to decide, and my inner monolouge came to a conclusion. And sometimes I feel analytical when it comes to displaying my own body language. Definitely not always though.

-I feel like a lot for me it is all for nothing, even when it comes to being hypo or hyper sensitive. I have a high pain tolerance speaking of which.

-When I was younger, I was odd. Not just quirky. I had to shut that part of myself down when people told me.

-There was a few times I can remember a group I played with at recess would just...leave me alone and I don't remember why?

-I'm a woman and so I found it interesting that girls with autism had a "mother hen" as a common experience. This was mostly my teachers. Currently even younger coworkers of mine kind of infantalize me and "mother hen" me.

-I am quite trusting (a nicer way of saying gullible lol).

-I would get mad at my brothers for light teasing, not realizing it was the friendly type of teasing. When they got annoyed I was sensitive to it I learned to laugh along.

-I have vivid memories of mentally beating myself up for my odd behavior as a child that sometimes caused bullying and became shy and what may have been learning how to mask.

-I underestimate how many times people lie

-I cared more about changing my doll's clothes than acting out stuff with her. I had two American Girl dolls and when my friend played with me we would argue about which one to use and we were like "Well this one looks more like me, so..." lol

-I don't like talking about much other than what I am interested in. I have heard it is common for autistics to bring back convos about themselves? If that is true that is me. I try not to sound narcissistic about it, but that is how I relate and contribute to conversations.

-I have been told multiple times I am unobservant when it comes to my surroundings.

-I had fixations on thing and somewhat do still. More when I was younger however. My interests are few but deep.

-Misophonia (uggg)

-social chameleon

-I always liked autistic coded characters .

-I'm solitary.

-I accidently do rude things but it is rare enough that even a NT would experience it that often so idk if that counts.

-When I walk into work, I wonder, "I greeted this person in this way, what words should I say to the other?" Is that common?

-I have epilepsy and I heard that's comorbid.

-I have always felt like the odd one out. When I was in elementary school especially I thought I was just different from the popular kids but then I realized I was overestimating how many popular kids there were. Lol! I guess popular=NT or masking maybe?

Why I maybe don't have it:

-I have never had trouble with sarcasm, idioms, or metaphors. For the most part I am the first to get a joke and explain it to others if they are confused (save instances from my "why I may have it" list).

-I'm solitary but I love spending time with the people I know and get upset (on the inside) almost childishly when I feel like they have to leave earlier than I want them to. "Hey, how about another round of the boardgames?" "No, sorry it is getting dark out and I have to drive an hour away..." But I guess afterwords I feel like it is good to relax.

-I understand my feelings easily and why they happen easily. I don't think my affect is flat, but maybe idk because I may have masked for so long that I can't tell (if I do have autism?!). However I don't usually share my feelings. I don't really say I feel _______ unless it is a strong emotion and need to explain why I am crying, etc. Maybe it is because I'm repressing something or don't know how to talk about it. Idk! Well, I guess when I'm excited or gush about something I do mention my emotions. I'd have to do some introspection on this. Huh.

-Especially now I am not super passionate about anything that could be considered a special interest to the point where I know a ton about a subject besides what I learned in college.

-I actively start small talk and am the first person to say hi when I see someone I recognize.

-I honestly can't tell if I get facial expressions intuitively or know it from when I manually learned it out of interest as a teen? I never have had problems with common or obvious facial expressions especially. Not surprising though.

-Although I did mention about my doll I would participate in imaginary play with others. Can't remember much about it though so I can't remember if I spent more time directing it. So yeah idk about that.

-I usually can work out people's intentions.

-Patterns don't really stick out to me unless I'm actively seek them out. And when I do sometimes they have no logic to me and I don't say anything because I know it wouldn't make sense.

-I have been told for the most part I know myself well by multiple people, as in how I am feeling in my body. If I feel something is off, something is off. However, I will admit I can act anxious and like a but of a hypochondriac.

-Like I mentioned earlier, I have so many conditions that could mimic autism traits.

This list isn't comprehensive.

(16M) I was playing rummy the other night and after thinking for way too long, I placed my cards and confidently said "7, 6, 8" as I placed them in that order. I said it again before gasping as I realized I said 7, 6, 8 and not 6, 7, 8. We all started laughing hysterically and then moved on, but I never did and have been thinking about it ever since because things like that keep happening and I know it's not normal. Counting is one of the easiest things you can do, and yet, this is the second time I've messed it up. Once during a game I was counting and after 39, instead of saying 40, I started counting from 20 and I only noticed after someone corrected me. I'm constantly making mistakes like this and people always point it out. Everyday I make mistakes that should be very easy to avoid. I know this is not normal. The way I talk as well sounds like I'm reading from a script written by a dyslexic person. When I'm writing and texting, though, it all comes out how I think it in my head. I cant solve problems like 57+64 in my head or hold multiple thoughts. I have an adhd diagnosis, but even someone with adhd can do the things I've mentioned. Am I stupid? What's wrong with me??

When i joined to new school, my new friend told me that i'm a little "acoustic". It was a joke, but I always knew i have a weird personality, just different than other people. I take many tests, but I got low score, i have weak sensitivity for materials, sound or light. I'm very often stimming and my conversations are sometimes awkard, but only sometimes. I have very low or very high scores in different categories, it can be autism or specific introvertic traits. Have any of you had this problem with diagnosis? Sorry for my bad English.

For most of my life I could never figure out why I struggled with hunger/thirst cues. I was relieved when I found out it was a ND thing, but I still can't figure out how to "fix" it. I haven't been a 3 meal a day person since I was a teenager. In college the habit of just eating one big meal at night started, as I genuinely don't feel hungry during the day 90% of the time.

But the thing I struggle with the most is water intake. My brain doesn't seem to register when I'm thirsty and even when I do think to myself "you need to drink something", it's like pulling teeth to make myself drink water. I don't care for things like lemon or the flavor drops, as they leave what I can only describe as a dry feeling on my tongue. I hate anything with artificial sweeteners. The only things that seem to be on my safe drinks list is coffee, milk, BodyArmor sports drinks, and the occasional Sprite. But then I feel guilty (or perhaps am made to feel guilty) because all of the things have sugar and calories, and I already struggle with my weight due to some other health issues.

I know realistically that staying hydrated is more important that obsessing over calories. I just wish I could make myself love water or some healthier drink.

My friend and I (both ND) were talking about how genderflux is just gender-fluid lvl 100 (may not be accurate information) and that now we are playing the Gender Games.

Then I said what if we had the ND Games, and my friend lost it.

We agreed that fidget toys would be 1-ups/power-ups, you could win levels by completing your hyperfixation, and the long term goal/quest is to act neurotypical and complete the world.

When I think about it now, what would the goals would be in the game? What should they be?

The goal currently seems to be mask, mask, keep masking, make it through the cookie cutter. Act neurotypical in a neurotypical world even if you’re neurodivergent. Picking up on social cues gives you 1-ups. Sensory spaces as healing potions, etc.

The goal seems to ultimately be to be as much of yourself as you can in this world while still trying to fit in the cookie cutter to make it through the societal bs.

What do y’all think of “The ND Games”?

Lol.

Do any of you guys struggle with doing anything you don't want to do? ? And I don't only mean because you get distracted easily, but because of how those things take u away from the things that make u happy??

For some time now,, whenever I forced myself to draw,, take care of myself properly,, or work out,, I would immediately start hating it. It would stress me out so much and I'd never want to do it again. Because when I made myself do things that people wanted,, or what was deemed "normal",, it was always so time consuming. It was unfulfilling,, boring,, and it stopped me from interacting with things I actually enjoyed. Even if I knew I NEEDED to do it.

I get told to "suck it up",, but that's not something I can always do. I end up abandoning the task and never touching it again because of how it affects me mentally and emotionally. It makes the people around me unhappy,, but I just can't do it. Even when I take breaks,, it's never enough. Because I'm going right back into the thing I don't enjoy.

It's why I never give myself a proper routine or schedule. Whenever I subject myself to it,, I don't feel like myself. Just someone that others want me to be.

As you can probably infer,, this is going to be a problem when jobs are involved. I'm currently apart of an internship where we mostly work at home and are allowed to determine our own hours. We're all doing a project with teams of people from our schools. That should be fine,, right?? Except,, it isn't.

The first problem is that we're doing this online. If I'm not in an environment where I'm working with others in person,, this will make work harder for me. I'll easily be distracted,, will most definitely procrastinate,, and will be unmotivated. During this internship, we have only 2 scheduled meet ups. We already had our first meet up which was for the sole purpose of introductions. The last one is some sort of showcase. It would be more convenient if we met up at least once or twice each week.

The 2nd problem is that I'm being left to do this on my own. I didn't want to do the work that I was assigned to at all,, but I have artistic skill so I went with design manager. I made sure to start on the work I needed to do right away because I kept in mind that I was being paid to do this. If I want to be able to buy things I want and need,, this is what I needed to do. The last time I was assigned a team project,, I ended up doing things last minute. Which led to our team not being able to finish our project in time. I felt terrible about it. So,, I've made it my mission to push myself.

It started off ok. It was a little difficult having to use a program I've never used before,, but things were moving along regardless. It didn't take long for things to go downhill though. I started to feel like I wasn't making enough progress,, I started to dread having to go back to doing work after taking breaks,, I felt like I didn't have enough room to do what I enjoyed,, I became unhappy. And It's stressing me out so much that I'm crying about it lmao.

I know I have to do this. I committed to this so I have to finish it. But,, it's so unfulfilling. Telling myself it'll be over soon can only do so much when you feel like everything's crumbling beneath you. I want to spend hours indulging in my interests like I used to. But,, a 5 hour break after doing 5 hours of work isn't enough. I can't deal with this sudden change. Even though I'll be almost done soon,, It feels so far away.

Do I have commitment issues?? Maybe. I don't know. I just wish this didn't always happen when it came to doing stuff I don't want to.

Do I ask my psych for a reassessment? I’ve been seeing a lot of videos on my Tiktok FYP about autism signs and a lot of it matches me, but when I look things up on Google, everything basically says ADHD and autism pretty much have the same symptoms and behaviors.

Hi everyone, I just want to know if I am the only person who goes through this. I moved for studies and stayed for work far away from my home country. Bc of budget, illness and the pandemic I wasn't able to come back for 5 years. But last year and this I visited for a month. I came with my partner so last year I did travel a lot, while this one I wanted to focus on being with family.

Some people will make events to see us, making the lovely effort to make vegan lunch or dinner (as we both are vegan) they make me feel so loved and missed.

On the other hand, many who I used to call friends will constantly tell me 'omg when are you coming, I really want to see you' and stuff like that, and when I am here they are nowhere to be found, they will just ghost me. I know this happenes and happened to me from men when I got a boyfriend. But this people know I am with my partner for 6.5 years already.

And the worse, a group of friends thay I grew up with, which I was close to even tho I always felt like a huge missfit, who tried to avoid greeting me and avoiding eye contact with me while I was standing literally next to them. My partner also noticed, so is not in my head. I never did anything unkind to them, just been a bit awkward. It was a wedding, of the only mutual friend who always accepted me and included me in the plans. I tried to brush it off in the moment, now I am just crying, waiting to leave tomorrow and not come back.

NTs will complain that we don't have social queues but they sure have no problem making people that did nothing to them feel so unwelcome and disliked.

In the moment when I'm supposed to start cleaning. I just get a lot of anxiety and dread so I procrastine. I think "One more hour of Youtube won't hurt.". Then one hour turns into six hours!

How do you get started! It's not that I can't think ahead of when to do it. It's that I can't get started when it's time! The anxiety and dread hurts too much!

I have ADD, depression, autism and GAD which don't help.

Thanks!

I don't know where else to go to ask something like this. I don't want it linked to my accounts so here we go.

For the first time I'm in a good place in life. Everything is working out finally but I'm still always so low on spoons from years of trauma. I have ADHD, POTS, depression, anxiety issues, and probably am at least slightly autistic but have never been diagnosed with it. Some days I wake up with no spoons at all but I just push through it because I need this to all work out.

I'm doing factory work, nights. The work itself isn't bad, and I enjoy what I do and who I work with. The problem is that by the time I get home, any spoons I had for the day are long since spent, and I'm absolutely filthy. I have to find the energy to shower, no way around it. And I do, but there are nights where I get so overstimulated and overwhelmed that I am just sobbing while I wash the dirt out of my hair. I need to find ways to make this at least a little easier on me on the bad days.

I have tried baths, which I love, but it's harder because I get so relaxed that I don't want to get out - and we're a 4 person family in a 1 bathroom home. I don't want to have to rush myself suddenly because someone has to pee in the middle of the night, so a quick shower is the best option so far. I have one of those cheep collapsible plastic step-stools that I use as a shower chair when the POTS is being problematic, and it helps when I'm out of spoons too. Sometimes I'll just rinse off as best I can in 10 minutes and leave all the soaps and scrubs until the morning if I have to. As long as I get the dirt off it's... well it's better than nothing.

My husband is very supportive and understanding, and knows the right ways to encourage me personally. It helps some days. But he is usually asleep when I get home because he works mornings. I can't just wake him up in the middle of the night because I'm too tired and overwhelmed to want to shower but don't want to bring the factory into our bed either.

I guess I'm just looking for suggestions. I've made so many improvements so far and really gotten to a great place in life, I just need help with this particular stumbling block.

I am at a gathering where I need to be social a lot, it's a week long. I love being with the people there, I just know I'll be needing to mask a lot of the time. How does one come out of masking in the moments alone, like in evenings, as self care?

Sometimes I feel like my husband he is a narcissist and treats me poorly. Sometimes I really feel for him, sometimes I feel like I don’t have to put up with this

He has poor emotional regulation,rigid and poor empathy which means we argue and he may say some mean things or do some not good things. I can’t hold him accountable either as he appears to have poor self reflection and if he does it’s very negative “well I’m bad, no one will ever care about me, it’s all my fault etc. We have a lot of issues that in a normal relationship I would have left but I try to be understanding due to the autism . I have 4 children some (ADHD, AsD and dyslexia) so I feel like I have no capacity to deal with this.

I suspect I’m ADHD myself but i carry the burden of being the most functional person in the family.

(I asked him to go to a kids part and he didn’t want to go and he ended up going. He arrived late so when he got there he didn’t socialise or greet anyone. Was messaging me complaining and I was giving him some suggestions via text. He was sulking sitting by himself. So I decided to stop my studies and I went to the party to hang with him as I felt bad having him sit by himself. I got there and he told e he is going home. I got home and he was passed out on the floor in kids bedroom despite our bedroom not having anyone

He stopped taking his depression meds, we went to the doctor together to get another script. I dropped it off so he would not wait when he picks up. He still has not picked them up. He is in a leadership role and is nice to other people but he is introverted. He says he masks at work

What are ASD men like ?

There is a lot of ASD female content creators and they seem very lovely. So I’m not sure if it’s a gender thing.

Bonjour je me demander si il y avait des français neuro divergents ici. Je travaille sur un video pour un lycée qui veut faire un micro lycée. J’aimerais avoir un avis extérieur. Si quelqu’un est intéressé a m’aider n’hésitez

Context : I’m 32. Female. ADHD. Autistic. I have POTS. Possibly EDS. 4w5. Libra. INFJ. I’ve been a hairstylist for 10 years. I suffer from migraines, insomnia, depression, SAD.

4 years ago my brother and I stopped talking. 2 years ago I was betrayed, had my reputation slandered and in turn, lost not only my community, my ministry but also most of my relatives. I be ame care taker to a family member. Then lol Covid life 2020 present. My nervous system is shot.

I’m tired all the time. I sleep so much. All the time. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD, Autism or POTS until last year.

I’ve spent the last two years burnt out, sleeping, crying and trying.

I’ve learned things like “unmasking” and how it’s a big deal. I feel like I’ve been in this journey for a while now ……. And no one in my life understands … I’m just so tired. So my question is this, does it get better? I’m learning so much about myself …. I value this but I’m so tired all the time and I’m trying so hard. I’ve lost friends and let go of things and interests and I feel more myself but there’s such a grieving process I wasn’t prepared for.

I just need to now it vets better and how.

I bite on things pretty hard because that's the only way I stop myself from picking at my skin or pull or pluck my hair. It's either biting my fingers or biting bottle caps and straws. And My teeth hurt after chewing and biting so hard on hard things.

I have very limited brain power for tasks and lose the "fuel" to continue cognitive tasks within like 15 minutes (yay ADHD!). People online (and also my therapist, to a much lesser degree) suggest "restorative" unfocusing tasks to do that would recharge my brain, but they're always like "learn to knit!" or "read a book!" That is more draining than anything.

What are some things I can do that would actually restore my brainpower instead of just draining it further?

Part vent/part advice-seeking

Genuinely, how would you feel if you looked over at your bus driver and they were visibly stimming. Plot twist: I’m the bus driver. I’m not sure what to do about it.

I’m on track to become a driver trainer and I try to hold myself to a high standard with my attentive driving habits, but the whole two years I’ve been driving bus I’ve struggled with stimming while driving, especially as the day goes on and when I’m really trying to pay attention really well or if the kids have been loud/difficult. I kinda suck tbh, it’s so fucking hard to not zone out or get distracted, but that’s what the stimming is for. I’ve never had an incident, I have really good instincts, but it honestly baffles me sometimes.

I can usually hold it together with kids on the bus, like I usually do in public anyway, instead it will be internal stims like mental rhythms or songs or some mental gymnastics keeping me focused on the road. Once they’re off, or if I just can’t help it, I have stims like flexing and un-flexing my hands, whistling and humming, rattling or punching my hands against the steering wheel, wiggling my toes or feet, or tapping (more like kicking, honestly) my left foot.

So, like, yesterday, my left leg started going as soon as my last kid got off. I had been focusing SO hard all day (bc I was practicing for when I’ll get evaluated soon). Now, I know myself, I know if I stop a stim deliberately two more shall take its place or whatever like a hydra— and the next stim that wanted to go was wiggling my feet.

Now if you know anything about driving, you know why I have a boundary for myself while driving: ANYTHING but my right foot. So I was just kicking the shit out of the bus wall with my left foot for the fifteen minutes it took to get back to the bus yard, cause every time I tried to stop, my right foot would start bouncing, and I tried to replace it with punching the wheel or noises but it didn’t help. Once I was parked I was able to kinda dance and stomp it out while sweeping the bus. This is not a particularly rare experience for me.

Anyhow, not dx, I was home-schooled and my mom never “understood any of that stuff” and since I was an adult I’ve been putting it off… I was bullied for supposedly having ADHD at my last job, so I like this job where no coworkers can really watch me much at all. I’ve never told my supervisors I struggle with this, I don’t know if they would recind promoting me to trainer if they knew. I’m always really careful about not stimming with my right foot while driving and keeping my hands on the wheel, but I have to focus so hard for hours straight so I can’t cut out everything.

Anyhow, I’m hoping for any words of advice or obviously you could criticize me that would be fine too just wanted to get this off my chest and figured someone in this sub might understand.

Hi! I’d like to inquire about some good quality (yet budget friendly) wireless over-ear headphones.. what have folks had the best luck with?

For context, I have ADHD and NVLD. I have purchased a pair from Amazon that aren’t the best nor the worst over a year ago, and I use ‘loops’ for concerts, the grocery store sometimes etc.. the ones from Amazon aren’t the best but cost me less than $100 CDN at the time. I become easily bothered by noise and it’s quite difficult at times. I think it’s time to upgrade

I’ve tried my partners over ear Bose headphones but the noise cancelling and ear parts make me uncomfortable for sensory reasons (when my ears get sweaty lol) and I start to get dysregulated from the feeling of it. I have no clue where to start

I wanna find someone who has intrusive images that do the following…

• the intrusive image is more than just an image, it’s a full scene with a background and everything

• my intrusive scene is automatic/random

• I was sat in a car but my image took place in a kitchen (so I had a random image flash of something bad happening somewhere else to where I was sat)

• was in first person and felt really “close” kinda like I was in it

• I could still maintain awareness/see the car I was sat in

• vivid

• was slightly more vivid than reality for a moment

• it’s not a memory but made up

• the image must take place in a different location to where you’re sat (so if you are sat in car and an intrusive image pops up, it can’t be of the car you’re in)

• all these points occurred at the same time

Hi all! I have a super cool 11 year old son in the process of being diagnosed with ASD. I’m likely ND myself as well. I’m looking for books, TV shows, YouTubers, and movies that he might enjoy to help give him a realistic/broad/positive idea of what autism/ND can look like/feel like. For context, he presents as fairly NT but has issues with social nuance and sensory processing. Thank you!

(for context i have adhd and likely dyscalculia) i have had people say when talking about neurodiversity, things that pertain to autism or dyslexia and such, and not to someone with “just adhd”. please be honest, i want to be the best person i can be. is adhd less neurodivergent/ more neurotypical than most other things under the nd umbrella?

In the sense that, you can actually do the things you want to do. And watching could be: people being in the same room, same house, same space or just knowing about it.

I found my energy dropping every time I’m no longer « alone » in my journey.