A friend of mine recently told me: ‘You tend to have a skewed perspective on reciprocity’. For context, I thought I had used too much of an ingredient and offered to buy a new one to replace it.

What does this mean?

Edit: More context, I mentioned I felt bad I had used so much of the ingredient and offered to buy a new one to replace it

for my entire life, i’ve had a very difficult time getting out of bed in the morning and waking up to the alarms i set. i always set multiple alarms since i know that having only one set won’t work.

i wanted to mention that i have adhd and my psychiatrist thinks that i am most likely autistic as well since i’ve heard that neurodivergence can affect the difficulty of the morning transition.

my current setup is an actual alarm clock and my phone’s alarm app. i have my actual alarm clock across the room so it forces me to get out of bed and turn off the alarm. 2 alarms set on the real clock and an abundance of alarms set on my phone.

my main issue is that i will get up, half-awake, and turn off the alarms (both with the alarm clock and the alarms on my phone). this morning, i literally woke up 5 hours after when i had set my alarm for just to find my phone open to the alarm app and my alarms turned off. i think i turned them off in my sleep 😭😭

i’ve recently started working in childcare so i have to get up early to get to work, but so far there have been two times where i didn’t wake up to my alarms/fell back to sleep and was late to work. i was also fired from my previous job as a barista because of that happening twice.

this is my dream career field and i just can’t afford to lose this job. when i was fired from my previous job, it ruined my mental health and i was in an absolutely horrible state.

if anyone can give me any advice or suggestions, it would be greatly appreciated!!!!

does anyone else have this problem??? I haven’t been able to interact with it or fan content because I get too overwhelmed and feel sick. I hate it so so much because I love my hyperfixation so much and want to keep consuming it but I physically can’t :(

I'm a 24 year old female. I have been living with my sister for the past two years. Her and her fiancé have been helping me to become independent, but one thing that comes up is that I'm not where I should be. My sister has said a lot that when she was 24 she was married, had kids, and a career. While I'm 24 and I'm only working at lowes right now. And her fiancé when he was 24 had a high paying job and owned a three bedroom house. The same house I am living with them in. I don't know if I am being lazy or I am using my autism disability as an excuse to not be where they are. I get overstimulated and irritated when I'm around my nephews for long periods of time. There has been multiple times where all three of them have been running around screaming and I have had to cover my ears because it become too much. I graduated with my associates in health information technology but it's a very hard field to get into. I have accepted and am trying to find happiness in just working retail and living within my means. Am I being lazy because I'm not where most 24 years olds are at. I mean the fact that I have held down a job for almost three years feels like an accomplishment me to me but it doesn't seem like one to them. Maybe it's them not understanding how autism affects my life and my ability to do things. Any thoughts? Or advice?

I hate it. Why does my brain lack an ability to remember things. Like if someone tells me to do something I will forget about it very quickly. Like it goes in one side and straight out of the other. I hate it because I always say "this time I'll remember" and then 10 minutes later. gone poof never to be thought of again. Why??

With ADD, can you experience burn out symptoms without really being burnt out? I often feel like burn out is the default state when I have to do things that are not stimulating enough and I cannot focus on them and do them effectively. The reality of being a student is that I find studies so difficult it very quickly ruins my motivation, energy levels, etc., and I find myself quickly withdrawing even from activities that I normally enjoy. The cycle goes like this: 1. I need to study before taking time off. 2. I cannot focus so I end up procrastinating and ruin my sense of responsibility&end up feeling demoralised 3. I am far behind in my studies and feel guilty all the time and can neither study nor enjoy anything else. I seek mindless pleasure from digital addiction. My personality disapears, I am struggling to think, talk, everything seems like a huge task. Even my hobbies

Can people relate to this? Anything that helped you through it? I am in my final year as an undergraduate student and lack any sense of determination, even though it is really important for me to finish my degree. I took a year off hoping I would feel more refreshed for my final year, but I feel just as withdrawn as in my third year. I have ADD without the H and feel like I struggle more with hypo-activity, sometimes borderline depression.

I want to preface this by saying I'm not diagnosed, though I think I may have autism and dyscalculia, and I do not know if this is a neurodivergent thing or not.

Learning to drive was not a fun process for me, and I know that I'm not a fantastic driver. Backing up is pretty difficult for me because I confuse where I'm going and the wheel a lot. I recently played Until Dawn and I've never touched a PlayStation controller before, and the quick time events were super difficult for me. It was just hard for me to remember which buttons were which. I was constantly confusing the square and the circle because they're the left and right buttons. I have really only played PC games, so I'm much more familiar with a keyboard and mouse.

Sometimes I find myself (30F) resonating with the signs of autism…ok very often. But I usually blame them on the fact that I was neglected and raised poorly. For example, since I rarely got to be around other people that weren’t my immediate family, I feel like this is why I am socially awkward and don’t really understand social ques. But then I feel like I’m 30… I should have learned them by now bring in the real world? I never really had my parents to teach me schedule and routine so not I seriously lack the ability to keep routine and figure out a routine that actually works for me for just about anything. This is actually the one that hurts me more than anything. Not having a proper routine, things not really having a proper place. I also feel like the reason I can’t figure these things out is because for 80% of my life we were living with other people or moving into a need house every year. That was not an exaggeration, I moved every year. Also, if any of you have any advice or know anyone with a nice template on how to structure life, please leave the resource.

So yeah, how do I distinguish autism and just bring raised poorly?

Example: A retail employee excels at building rapport with customers, but their neurodivergent traits, like needing extra time to handle transactions or processing information differently, are often misinterpreted as inefficiency. Despite their hard work and genuine connections with customers, they receive less favorable performance reviews and miss out on raises or promotions. Over time, this leads them to feel undervalued and question their capabilities. Their low self-esteem deters them from pursuing customer-focused roles in new fields, where their unique approach could actually be an asset.

Does anybody else get driven up the wall by droning noises like an air conditioner, I arrived at a breaking point tonight and had to shut everything off despite it being 50 degrees, I couldn't take another second of the noise.

Hello,

I’m a neurodiverse leader looking for resources to improve my communication and management skills with my neurotypical team. There seem to be a lot of books and articles geared towards neurotypical bosses leading neurodiverse staff, but not for neurodiverse leaders. One of my major goals at work this year is to improve my leadership skills, and I think that recognizing and understanding these communication challenges might be a great place to start. One of my team members has joked about needing to translate for me… which is funny, but it would be better if I could translate for myself.

Does anyone have any great resources for this? I’m especially interested in good books, but any resources would be appreciated.

Today I made a super easy pot of chili. But a can of tomatoes got me so upset I just ... I can't ... words fail me. My whole damn life I have struggled to work a hand-held can opener. I ask people, I watch videos. And I still end up butchering cans, nearly lacerating my flesh, and trying to get the contents out of the tiny opening I manage to make.

It's a silly, small issue in the grand scheme of things. But tonight, I'm almost in tears because of it.

Can anyone relate?

I am trying to start a business to help Neurodivergent individuals. If anyone would be willing to give me any feedback or information, please do so here https://forms.gle/QW8eNAteWUPmzj856

I don’t get it. Talking about random politicians here and there is not relevant. It wasn’t a new rule, it was an interpretation of an existing rule. Doesn’t seem any more relevant than saying my favorite color is red. However, it seems that the community has spoken and wants generic politics to not be off-topic, so fine. Just please don’t make this into r/politics.

Edit: At least I thought it wasn’t a new rule. Either way I’m not here to be a dictator. As I said, the community has spoken, so generic politics will be allowed.

Edit 2: I deleted the original post so that it won’t show up in feeds. Here it is for the record

https://www.reddit.com/r/neurodiversity/s/RNaIYkhBtx

Edit 3: Sincerely, it looks like we have some rules that may actually need to be removed. They were there from before I got here.

ive always had a relationship with music. What's everyone's favorite songs? Trying to work through some stuff and hoping music will help.

Hi

Why is it that whenever I have to read a long text or talk a lot, I forget to breathe? Or rather, I feel like I can't continue speaking because I can't catch my breath, causing me to self-suffocate many times. This also happens when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about, making me want to keep talking but not being able to, even when I'm talking to my parents.

I'm tired of my mom telling me what to do and seeing me as "bothering someone" when I text a family member just because I have a disability.

And she wants me to forgive my birth mom for making me disabled (I have fetal alcohol spectrum disorder). And then would talk about how I'll go to hell if I don't forgive when she thinks I'm too incompetent to have sex or to vote. Hello, wouldn't hell be worse and more complex than sex or voting? I'm not even posting in the Christian subs this time or anymore to try to understand why sex, dating, and voting is apparently more complex or serious than hell (since I'm too disabled for sex, dating, or voting but not too disabled for hell) because most of the Christians there got tired of hearing my story.

But my adoptive mom shouldn't have the audacity to tell me to forgive my birth mom for something that she continues to do because of my birth mom. That's a slap in my face.

i often have full conversations with people in my head, usually its with my exes, sometimes its with my teachers.

sometimes its me rejecting an apology i never got, or me having a meaningless argument with someone, sometimes its me literally having a "catch-up session" with someone i havent spoke to in years.

maybe its my way of closure or comfort, i dont know.

i can literally hear their voices speak to me in my head and now im writing it down i sound absolutely crazy

this is going to sound so weird of me but i get some good advice from it especially when im "talking" to my teacher😬

i literally dont know why i do it. ive always had friends, people to talk to, ive never been bullied or anything, ive never really been lonely.

i just want to know why im so weird because none of my friends do this

Like sometimes know what i want to try to convey but the words are all jumbled up in my head that I dont know how to make them make sense when spoken outloud.

So what’s this gait being talked about with NDs. What is it and how best to describe it? The way they walk, I mean. Does it fit a common pattern?

Sometimes I have the urge to just stop talking because it becomes so tiring. Like I can still text a person, and that's what I usually do with my friends, we'll be together but I text them because talking seems too tiring and i cant get myself to talk, or at least it takes a lot of effort to. What could this be caused by and is there anything I can do?

Sometimes I try to talk to someone about something I’m interested in. And apparently I have a tendency to ramble a little but I like to think I talk in a very interesting and engaging way. And I find myself really enjoying getting a chance to talk to someone.

Then they tell me that they completely stopped listening 3 minutes ago and absolutely none of what I said was paid attention to. God it makes me feel so worthless and ignored

God forbid my own family makes even the slightest attempt to listen to what I have to say. I just want a girlfriend one day that is happy to listen to me talk AND ACTUALLY LISTEN. Instead of just letting me waste my breath, they could just tell me that they aren’t listening. That would still hurt but at least I didn’t waste my time thinking somebody actually cared for once

Hello all! I (27 F) am currently undiagnosed. I am not sure if I have ADHD, Autism, or both.

Something I seriously, seriously struggle with is masking. I've been working on it, and I've been doing a good job with unmasking negative emotions. It still needs work, but I am much less stoic lately.

However, I am having a really, really hard time letting myself feel happy. Whenever someone gives me a gift or does anything nice for me, I have such a blank look on my face like I do not care, which is not true- I feel it very deeply when I reflect. But in the moment, the joy starts to become overwhelming and I squash it so fast and become neutral. I currently struggle controlling that response.

I do it with singing, dancing, everything. I WANT to be a bubbly, silly person. But I can't show it outwardly? I know i've definitely had trauma regarding this when I was younger, so I definitely believe this was a learned response/masking.

I don't know where to begin. Any advice or help is super helpful, as right now I cannot afford therapy. I am hoping I can in the future.

Hi I’m looking for some advice on the best ways/strategies that worked for other people when recovering from autistic burnout as I’ve been in pretty severe burnout for the past 3 months I’ve barely left the house , I’ve had to take a break from university and work because of how bad it’s got I feel like I’ve lost the ability to function , my mum thinks I’m not trying hard enough to help myself recover but it just feels like whatever I do I take 3 steps back , If anyone has any advice please let me know !!

I am an adult, I have adhd and as a child my hyperactivity was extreme. I remember running away so my parents couldn't catch me and make me go to school way back in kindergarten. I did public school for kindergarten, then they wanted to test me for an IEP so what did my mom do? She took me out of school and sent me to a Christian school. I did 1st grade - 5th grade there. We weren't Christian.. I had never even heard of Jesus before this time. It was seriously because of my hyperactivity and my need for an IEP. I couldn't focus of course so I was punished for that and made to sit at my desk during recess and lunch.

Instead of putting me back in public school I did nothing, no schooling from 6th grade until I was 16 and enrolled myself in an alternative high-school. I was a 16 year old freshman. Turns out all those years of not doing anything were pretty damaging. The school work was really hard, I felt stupid. I finally got an IEP but I was so far behind and felt so stupid I dropped out. I dropped out and never went back I realized recently I can't do anything above basic math not because I'm bad at math but because I never learned. I don't know a lot of history facts or science. I know what I've hyperfixated on since becoming an adult. I'm in my 30s and there is no way I'd ever be able to pass a GED. I have a 6th grade education. I know I'm partially to blame but who let's their 11 year old decide to just not go to school and you're just cool with that.. the school system failed me but so did my parents.

Hello everyone!

I’m a student surveying how neurodivergent individuals use earplugs to manage sensory input and improve focus or comfort. If you’re neurodivergent and use earplugs I’d love to hear from you! Your responses will help me understand different experiences and needs.

The survey is short and completely anonymous. It would mean a lot if you could take a few minutes to fill it out. Here’s the link to the survey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdzXTarv3YOY6IiWuRvfRbAMP6xDk4xAHzinyzVNHhQFPPBtQ/viewform?usp=sf_link

Thank you so much for your time! 😊

I'm 16 and recently I got through with being in a mental hospital that was actually an amazing and really positive experience, I also got my screening there for autism and adhd and both of them came back very telling so idk if that helps

while I was there I was a total social butterfly after easing my way into being there, I felt really really happy and hopeful for my life as well which was an amazing feeling, I still am doing better than I was when I was out but I've noticed that like my personality and my perception of reality has vastly changed since I've been out. It felt like my mind and body kind of weren't so separate anymore if that makes sense? I had a lot more feelings as well and it felt like I still kept my personality even when it was just me alone thinking. Now that I'm out (it's been around 18 hours since) however after a little while that wonder and the feeling of having my personality back kind of dissipated. I have bad dissasociation because of trauma as well and it's already seeping back in. Before I went in, I kind of just sat on my phone all day not engaging with any of my interests, smoking weed + drinking + vaping and having major executive dysfunction I think it's called (I couldn't bring myself to do even the things I wanted to.) I was extremely stupid earlier today and attempted to smoke and my medications did not like it very much, I'm okay and recovered from that situation now but for my safety I definitely need to quit. But it's like all the time I spent there and all the lessons and stuff I learned are like in a back library in my mind and I'm worried I'll like become the same person I was before I went in there. I don't know if I need to just like cut out screen time and make my phone less stimulating, or if it's just being back home that's kind of put my mind back to where it was. besides my very addictive and dopamine seeking tendencies, my home life is very good so I don't think that it's stressing me being back, but like even while I was on my phone for a little while I still felt like actual reactions to what I was looking at. Like I was processing the videos I watched, engaging with them when i normally just immediately tried to absorb the knowledge as fast as i can and like I got feelings from doing things. Now I'm worried I'm sinking back into being totally unresponsive to the world around me and just shutting myself into my inner world again. I know what the answer to this question is probably going to be but should I cut out the quick-dopamine tendencies? Or would it be like something more than just that that's making me feel like splintered again because like I said just the phone-time I had when I got home didn't make me feel like this, I miss having reactions to things and getting emotional responses from external stimuli. is there anything more I can do to help return to that feeling? the only thing I can think of is totally cutting off the amount of time I spend on my phone but I feel like I have to orbit around it because of my friends who I care about so so so much and I can't just leave them for the entire day. I'm already very dedicated to stopping smoking, I don't even miss the feeling that much because having a personality felt so much more fulfilling and stuff compared to just being high. nicotine is another thing but that's more difficult to stop because it doesn't have such a violent effect on me.