I've always felt different from most people. I've been called weird by dozens of people throughout my life. Many different people have asked me what's wrong with me.

I have some symptoms of Aspergers/autism. I've had these issues ever since I was a child.

Mostly monotone voice

Slightly clumsy

Awkward gait

Astigmatism & near sighted in both eyes

Repetitive thoughts/overthink things

Insomnia

Social anxiety

Trouble maintaining relationships

Sensitive to loud noises

Sensitive to sunlight

Panic attacks (started as a young adult)

I started talking at 10 months old. I started speaking in sentences at 2 years old. I started crawling & walking at normal ages. I don't have severe or traditional autism. A school counselor talked to me about autism when I was 15. A psychologist has told me informally that I have Asperger's Syndrome back in 2015. I've met 2 HFA people in person who both told me they think I'm HFA. The mother of a boy with Asperger's Syndrome told me that she thought I had it.

It's very likely that I have what was Asperger's Syndrome. But I've made it to 37 without ever getting diagnosed.

I'm a U.S. Army veteran. I receive VA disability benefits which are $3,800 a month, and free medical and dental services. I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety by the VA. Depression and anxiety are both more common among HFA people.

I don't work, so I don't need any accommodations. I don't want to get any disability benefits for being autistic. I don't want to be part of any autistic community or group outside of the internet.

In my case, would there be any benefit in getting an official autism diagnosis, besides being 100% sure that I'm a high functioning autistic person?

I’m curious how pattern recognition works for people in the neurodiverse community and would love to hear your perspectives. For me, I don’t tend to notice obvious or discrete patterns quickly (like repeating shapes or sequences). Instead, I often recognize trends or connections between abstract ideas—like finding a common theme or underlying similarity between unrelated things.

For example: • I might realize that someone struggling to ask for help with a work problem is similar to a student hesitating to ask a teacher for clarification. To me, both reflect a common thread: fear of judgment or rejection.

On the other hand, discrete pattern recognition might look like noticing that a sequence of shapes alternates between squares and circles or that the number 7 keeps appearing in a series of data points.

If you’re neurodiverse, how does pattern recognition show up for you? Do you relate more to abstract connections, concrete patterns, or something else entirely?

I know asking online is nowhere as good as going to a professional to get diagnosed, but I really don't know what to do now and don't even know a doctor who's not going to tell you "you're keeping eye contact, you can't be neurodivergent" but I need to know what professional am I supposed to look at for this, should I even bother to look for a diagnosis or is this just me being suggestionad influenced by media, I'd love to know what you think

Warning: too much text, luv you if you actually read it.

So just to clarify I (24F) already went to different professionals, a psychologist, psychiatrist and a behavioral therapist once and the focus was always sleep well eat well get healthy habits, you look fine there's nothing wrong with you after seeing me once. Loved my physiologist but just wasn't exactly what I needed, she helped me with feeling more comfortable with who I was over a year ago, psychiatrist put me on sertraline and melatonin and I was doing better, but I was pretty much still myself just not as depressed, and the behavior therapy was not even worth mentioning, cool lady but I felt that she was selling me a self help book.

Just last year or even a little before I started thinking I might be neurodivergent, just that I always thought it might be just adhd when I found out what it actually was and not how they show it on tv and movies, though it might even be autism but again, I don't think I'm even well informed to think that so that's were I need help I think, because my life is an "organized mess" I currently have a job and a decent income for were I live, "friends" that I really can't consider friends because I have 0 connection with them and it goes lower as time passes.

Now that I'm very lonely constantly I've been thinking more about how it's been like this all my life, always a weird kid with not many friends or seeing how everyone had a best friend and thinking why I never got to that point with nobody, I was pretty unaware back to when I was a child, didn't even grew in a neighborhood with a lot of kids so I didn't give much though to not having friends since I was pretty imaginative and creative, something I still am, then as I grew up I started noticing that others will be so good at socializing and I was not.

I think my first best friend I got at high school at like 14yo and I noticed that she was pretty active in groups of things she liked and talking to people online about things she liked and I didn't even though of that as an option, I had her to talk to and some classmates every now and then, then she stopped talking to me at the beginning of last year and I was pretty much begging her to let me know what happened and never got an answer. I think I have and idea now but I never got an answer so, for context also we liked the same guy, but she told me first and I decided I was no longer going to like him, like she was way more important than that, he was one on the few people I constantly talked to and even then, because I liked him, I would hide from him if he was there because I don't know I was shy or embarrassed.

So after her everything went pretty much downhill, I started noticing I was weird to others and didn't engage in conversation with out friend group because I thought they were her friends and just talked to me because I was her best friend so, weird

I started university and making friends was a disaster, I cried a lot and got my first anxiety attack there, had to call my mom to pick me up because I needed to leave.

I had a group of friends that now is weird I think, I was never close with all of them since it was a big group and now they're there but I don't really talk to them a lot.

So, that's a long explanation to say that I suck at keeping friendships because I forget to answer messages, I don't know what to say or how to say it, I feel like (as you might have told with the infodump I left up there) I overshare and regret later because that's now what I was supposed to do I guess, I mimic a lot the emotional state of the people I'm talking to, not like literally but english is not my first language so I don't know how to describe it sorry.

I'm at a point where I feel like I don't even know who I am because I lost internet in the things that made me happy back to when I was a teenager that didn't care I didn't have many friends, because I just didn't notice, now I can't help but compare myself with everyone and see how is so easy for them to talk to people even if they say they're introverted, and I can't help but think "well, bet you haven't asked someone to introduce you to knew people and had to ask them how to have a conversation with them because you don't have any ideas on how to" Like everyone makes it look so easy and I just can't.

I like being alone but not feeling like it's not a choice, I love my family and the friends I make but I push them away with my behavior and I can't avoid being like this, how did I even interacted with people before, I think is worse now.

And being socially awkward is not even the only problem, is the impulsive decisions, the little control over my emotions, the anger when I get pulled out of my safe routine even if its not obsessively planned on a calendar, there's things I like to do and I like not to be talked to while I do them or else I feel like screaming and get so stressed.

And many more things that justs make me think well, is this ok? Am I neurodivergent? Am I just traumatized or something? Am I just a bad person? I honestly don't know what to think anymore

Sorry for the long text, thanks for taking your time to read if you did it <3 I know it's a lot and at the same time so little to even be able to tell but here's my try.

Double Empathy states that people with different ways of communicating and interacting have trouble understanding and relating to each other, and that difficulties in social interactions and misunderstandings are caused by both ends rather than just the person who is Autistic or neurodivergent. The simplest models of double empathy would state that mismatches in communication neatly follow the lines between classifications, such as Autistic and non Autistic people or between people who are neurodivergent and neurotypicals.

The medical definition of Autism depends on social difficulties with most people and doesn’t rely on a specific way of interacting or communicating, and similarly the medical definitions of other neurodiverse classifications are only defined according to being disabled or having qualities that could be disabling and don’t really take other qualities, similarities, or differences into account.

The source of mismatches in communication and social interaction might vary more between people within the same neurodivergent classification than between neurodivergent classifications, and one might expect that the source of mismatches in communication to be as important to who would be able to interact and communicate effectively with who as the classifications.

Based on the above one might expect that mismatches in communication styles and social interaction that are caused be differences in brain structure to be more complicated than what follows the line between medical classifications. For instance one might imagine in some cases person A who is only classified as Autistic might be able to communicate as and interact with person B who is only classified as dyslexic as effectively as two neurotypicals while person A has trouble communicating and interacting with person C who is also classified as Autistic because A has a brain more similar to B than to C despite being in the same medical classification as C. I might also imagine that in some cases person A, who is classified as Autistic, can communicate and interact with persons B and C as easily as effectively as two neurotypicals, while having trouble communicating and interacting with D and E from structural differences in their brains even though persons B and D are both classified as neurotypicals while persons C and E are both classified as Autistic. I might also imagine that in some cases persons A and B could easily communicate and interact with each other, persons B and C could also easily communicate and interact with each other, persons C and D could also easily communicate and interact with each other, and persons D and E could easily communicate and interact with each other, but persons A and E would have trouble communicating and interacting from structural differences between their brain structures and different ways of interacting and communicating.

I just got my evaluation for adhd and did get diagnosed though my psychiatrist did clarify I wasn't the usual "type" (partly because I'm a woman with high IQ who's good at masking so not who those standardized, too old tests apply to) but party also because she suspects I might be on the autism spectrum as well.

She can't diagnose ASD though and said she thought it was possible I could get a diagnosis for level one but she didn't know for sure.

she also made sure to clarify this would be a very long and exhausting process so I'm asking those who maybe got both diagnosis: is it worth it? I'll be on meds probably and go to therapy to someone who knows about both ADHD and ASD.

To those who were in a similar situation, what did you do? Is there a "better" way, any advice?

My psychologist told me about neurodivergency, and that there's a pretty good chance that I'm in the spectrum. I'll probably go do an official diagnosis. Apart from that, I honestly don't know how to feel about that, like it's cool, now many things make a lot of sense, but still doesn't change much . I just want to feel like I belong somewhere, and now that I may be in the spectrum, I feel completely alienated and detached from everyone else around me. I don't like not being myself, but what other choice do I have?

I've been journaling lately and it's got me thinking more about my mental health. I started reading people's habits in this subreddit and related to a lot of them. Like many of you, I thought these habits we have are just normal and everyone does them. It feels good to know that there is a community of people who do the same weird things as me lol.

I know self/online diagnosing is kinda frowned upon and professional is ofc always better. But I just started reading about this stuff and I'm really curious to know more. The one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that I have Maladaptive Daydreaming. Anyway here are some pattern things I do.

Number of letters in a word/name:

Teresa Graham = Te(2) re(4) sa(6) Gr(8) ah(10) am (12)

Ter(3) Esa(6) Gra(9) Ham(12)

Tere(4) Sa Gr(8) Aham(12)

Or I'll break it into sets and label the number of letters in a set:

Lebron James

Lebr(4) On Ja (4) Mes(3)

Leb(3) Ron(3) Jam(3) Es(2)

Number Systems:

I have my own number system where I'll randomly count things as like: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.2, 5.4 and then I'll stop there and go back to 1. I'll randomly do this with steps or blinking or the smallest things. Or If I simply go "1,2" in my head I feel obligated to go all the way to 5.4 and restart the system. The 5.4 isn't my real number system, for some reason I don't feel like sharing the real thing its like top secret lmfao but it's similar to that.

I'm your stereotypical "gifted kid". Was in Grade 5 with teachers saying I'm reading on a grade 11 level and all that stuff. Really good at mental math. Fast forward and I barely graduated highschool and suck at any math that isn't multiplying and dividing.

I always came #1 in mental math competitions and I think part of it is all the number stuff I do in my head.

Patterns with sight and touch + The need for everything to be even:

This one is a really bad habit. Let's say I'm looking at the right side of the room and I blink. Now I have to blink to 5.4 because number system. But since I did it on the right side, now the left side needs it too. So i look at the left side of the room and blink to 5.4 to make it equal. But since I built a Right-to-Left blink pattern, I must do a Left-to-Right pattern too. But now I've done a R-L-L-R pattern so I must do L-R-R-L and you can see how this can go on forver until i snap out of it and go "wtf am i doing". I'll build patterns within patterns and there are all types of patterns to be built. It's not always blinking, sometimes I have imaginary numbers floating up there and I count them to 5.4. Thankfully I don't do this one that much anymore but sometimes i'll get caught up in it

I'll do this with the body too. Like if I flex my right calf I feel like I must flex my left one too.

I used to have this imaginary red gooey circle thing that I would build patterns with. I still do it sometimes. Basically if I look somewhere I'll imagine the red circle thing is there, and now the other side must also have the red circle. And there are other things I do with this red circle that are hard to describe.

Inner monologue

Sometimes when thinking or talking to myself I repeat a word again and again. Maybe to 5.4. Maybe more than that. I might even grab a random syllable of it and repeat it again and again.

So, is this a strong sign of autism or something? At the very least I think I'm neurodivergent right. If that's the right term. Do you do this kind of stuff too?

most people i meet- majority neurodivergent- assume i'm autistic or just neurodivergent in some way. even my mom believes i'm autistic; she tried to get me tested but it didn't work out.

i've taken self-assessments online, and i'm always on the edge of it. if you need a score of 25 to be autistic, i'd score 21. i relate to some autistic traits (sensory overloads, bad at maintaining friendships, going nonverbal) but not all. i have felt as though there's been something 'off' with me for a long time, but i've always put it down to being shy and depressed.

i dunno, that assumption people have has been weighing on my mind but i don't know if it's worth looking into or not.

My poor son is very upset with anything that has a face and shouldn't. Cups, toy cars, cookies, cake pops, someone drew a cat on the costco receipt.

Stuffed animals, action figures, all of that is fine.

This started when he was 2 and he's 6 now. Someone got him a toy car for Christmas and he loved it but any time he saw it's eyes and smile he'd cry and point and say "sad!" And give it a hug.

Now he just says it's creepy and makes him uncomfortable. I'm okay with this, he doesn't need to love these things but occasionally someone will give him something with a face on it. I accidentally gave him the sock monkey mug because it has two handles and I thought it would be easier for him to hold. He got very aggressive and yelled at me that it's really freaky and he hates it and me. A lady last week drew a cat on our costco receipt and handed it to him and he looked at it for a second and then looked at the lady and yelled "this needs to go into the trash or be torn into pieces" is there something i can do to make it not SO intense for him? 😞

Im a new writer trying to write a book that isn’t centered around this character, he is a teen, and I feel like he wouldn’t know he’s dyslexic yet. How could I write him in a convincing way? Towards the end he writes a letter to the main character, how can I write that? I would love advice and first hand experiences :)

basically the title,I've found lately when I get really excited it gets so overwhelming that I feel ill,it doesn't even really seem like much of a positive emotion anymore because it's so difficult for me to deal with it. It mostly happens when I think about my hyperfixations,then I'll usually get ill from it,but it also happens with random things like just looking forward to buying a new blanket or something😭😭😭

if it helps, I'm taking prozac and have adhd and ocd. I was just wondering if this happens to anyone else,if it's worth bringing up to my psychiatrist,and how I can fix it

Did y’all read the Twitter thread about a disabled character, from Arcane, being repulsed by sex? Why?

Ughhhh. I don’t how much I can take. My crush is a co-worker, who is in a relationship and I’m trying to avoid. No matter how much I try, she somehow appears. Today, she came into the breakroom earlier than usual and vent to a fellow colleague about her work schedule. Then, for my last break, in the break room, she appeared a few minutes after me with friends. So I ran away. I’m so frigging sick of these coincidences. Just leave me alone.

16m, UK for context sake

I know- again with the damn questions!

So let me explain. I was diagnosed almost 6 years ago just before starting secondary school(11-16) And over the whole course of secondary school I was bullied consistently, no matter how much I told staff because if one person stopped another would start. I had a few friends but outside of that people hated my guts… I dont know what I did for literally EVERYONE ELSE to hate me but so be it.

So year 9(13y/o) is when the masking began, I knew that if I wanted to be okay in a school and/or any social environment I kinda had to say, “purge” a lot of my traits. I did this to conform and be “likeable.” I also used to be very conservative at that time(fyi I am no longer) and I had strange beliefs regarding autism. I decided to say that I “didn’t have it anymore” and I told people that I didn’t have it, however I said this to my friend of ~10 years at the time and he said “(my name)… I’ve known you for 10 years… you are autistic” which is whatever. I literally had to dumb myself down in some areas(I used to be NOT stupid)

Fast forward to now, I’ve realised that I have masked so much to the point where it has become natural, or a second personality. I’m trying my best to just be naturally who I am but it’s still difficult. I can’t really unmask because I now consciously act as if someone’s watching me and judging, even by myself. I mask even on my own. I am going to speak to professionals about it too. It’s come to the point where in college, I don’t believe it when people say they don’t hate me, it’s so unnatural, I’m so used to just being hated for whatever reason… Anyone have any advice?

P.S. I know I keep posting asking for advice and such and I am sorry for pestering you guys. It does feel selfish in a way to ask for advice with nothing to offer in return. That being said though, these responses really mean the world to me rn and I’d just like to remind you guys that you are awesome! :)

I’m not really sure which subreddit to post this on but it relates to my neurodiversity so I guess I can put it here. (Please tell me if it should go anywhere else!)

My A-Levels are right around the corner and I still haven’t figured out how to study and I need to revise year 12 stuff as well as year 13 stuff. I’m scared I won’t have the discipline to revise and then will let myself down when it comes to the actual exams.

So I guess my question is how do/did other neurodiverse people revise?

The existence of green colored eyes is a comfort.

A few days ago this week, I unmasked in front of my best friend. I usually always feel comfortable unmasking around her, she’s one of the few people who I’ve always felt comfortable seeing me fully unmasked.

This recent time though, I feel different about it. I have cerebral palsy (CP) and I’ve just recently learned it impacts me cognitively as well as physically and it actually falls under the ND category. I’ve been sad, angry and relieved about it. Relieved because it gives me answers as to why I am the way I am, sad and angry because it’s been dismissed my whole life and I’ve been shouted at for being slow, inarticulate, not paying attention etc- all which are things I couldn’t help, which contributed to giving a complex growing up where I felt like I wasn’t good enough and therefore had to be good all the time which meant things like never speaking up for myself, dealing with everything on my own, managing but only just about. Then there’s things like I could’ve got accommodations like extra time on exams which would have made all the difference.

And recently I’ve started teacher training and it’s been really hard because when I applied I didn’t tell them about my CP because I was scared of getting rejected, and I didn’t think my CP would impact me much with teacher training since at that point I only viewed it as a physical condition and I didn’t fully understand everything involved in teaching.

But now I’m 3 months in the training and I can fully say it has been really difficult. And I was ranting to my best friend about how difficult it has been, and how I felt alone and unsupported and how I think this particular educational setting isn’t for me and she responded with something intending to make me feel better but it just felt incredibly dismissive instead. She told me I have a nice mentor, and people literally get bullied by their mentors and gave me an example of her friend’s friend who got bullied by her mentor. I told her that a mentor that bullies you is temporary, but a disability will impact me for the rest of my career she said that’s true, then I told her how she literally won’t even say the word “neurodivergent” in public because she doesn’t want anyone to associate her with that, so she can’t tell me she’d rather be fully abled with a mentor that bullies her than disabled with a nice mentor. She said yeah but everyone has their own problems and she doesn’t think it’s helpful if I think I have it the worst.

I don’t think I have it the worst but the thing is objective reality also exists so I think it’s okay to admit you have it worse than some people and it’s valid to feel all the emotions that come with that. I acknowledge that yeah, I have it better than a lot of people in terms of having a mentor because my mentor is really nice, but at the same time this profession is more challenging for me than most people because of my disability and it should be ok to feel that and acknowledge that and accept that.

And I just wanted to rant and my emotions be validated, and I don’t expect that from every single person ofc but I did from her.

We got into a bit of an argument, where she felt I was rude to her, and I felt she was rude to me but it was a misunderstanding but it lead to me crying on the phone to her about how I’m affected cognitively by CP. I get really emotional and defensive sometimes and I can’t really see it in the moment, but only when reflecting on it, I’m slower in terms of processing and understanding and I was crying to her about that because it’s something I’ve learned so recently and it doesn’t feel good, because I end up hurting people I love unintentionally, and in terms of my profession it just doesn’t make the job easier. But she told me I was hyper-fixating on my disability, and that I was insecure and thought I was dumb because she thinks me describing myself as “slow” means “dumb”

And it further frustrated me that she was telling me my experience, but I couldn’t articulate it because I needed time to process that frustration and find the right words to tell her. And I can’t process the frustration because she kept on explaining my own disability and experience to me, coming up with solutions that just don’t work. She asked me: “Do you think you’re smart or not?” I told her “In certain ways yes, in certain ways no” she said “So what do you think you’re smart at?” I said “understanding AI because I read about it and dedicate a lot of time to learning about it” she then told me that I should dedicate time to learning about social cues and norms the way I do AI. And this just felt so frustrating to me. If I did that, it’s like I wouldn’t have time to do anything I enjoy because my career is demanding so already I have to cut down on doing things I enjoy, and if I dedicated the amount of time I spend experimenting with and learning about AI, to learning about social cues and social norms- I’d just feel constantly burnt out.

Like imagine if we told NT people: “Instead of doing the things you enjoy, dedicate that amount of time you spend doing that to learning about ND people so you can accommodate us”

We’d be called rude and entitled. But it’s fine for NT people to say that to us without saying it.

Once I explained the thing about feeling emotions in the moment and needing time to process she told me she understood. She suggested if I think someone’s being rude, like when we’re texting I should just take a step back and maybe spend sometime away before I respond. I agreed with this because that would give me time to process and actually determine is it something rude or has it just hit a trigger for me? I asked her if we do that, and if she sends me a message and I don’t respond don’t ask me what’s wrong, what did I do and send me lots of messages like that- and before I could even explain she said- “But that’s what people in your friendships and relationships will do- I can either do what will work for this friendship or for all your relationships” at this point I started crying so much and I couldn’t articulate why it bothered me because emotionally I was just overloaded so I just kept saying “no” “no” and that this is what I meant when I told her she doesn’t help and she doesn’t understand the way she thinks she does.

I think to get to me stop crying she said that she wouldn’t do that then, but then admitted she’s worried because I want friendships and I want to get married young, and when she asked me what age will I start looking for marriage I told her probably next year or the year after and she asked me if I’m ready for that which is a valid question for any friend to ask but I think what just hurts me is the amount she misunderstands me. And the problem is she thinks she understands, when she just doesn’t.

Like I don’t want to have to mask in my friendships or marriage. I didn’t mask with her, but I feel like now I have to because after that whole meltdown she sees me differently. We had a normal conversation after that, and she texted me and when I responded she didn’t respond for like 2 or 3 days, and on Sunday she’s coming to my town and usually she’d be so certain she wants to see me and make time for it but now she’s like “idk if I’ll have time to see you” I can’t tell if it’s just she’s genuinely busy or if she’s just trying to distance herself from me because she’s uncomfortable when she saw a part of my condition that made her uncomfortable.

During our conversation that day she admitted she was scared for our friendship in case this happens again, which is completely valid. But then she said “I’m not scared anymore because I have faith that you are my best friend and you will fix yourself” or “get it fixed” I can’t remember exactly how she phrased it but I remember her using the word “fixed” that just made me feel uncomfortable because I feel like she sees neurodivergence as something to fix and even during the conversation when I told her that she always uses the stat that 50% of the population are ND to make me feel better, but then if that stat is true why don’t the other 50% try to understand us? And her response was “lots of ND people adapt” and again she didn’t even say the term ND idk why she’s so afraid to say it cos atp I don’t even think she was in public.

It doesn’t hurt me that yet another part of my condition makes someone uncomfortable. I’m used to that. It just hurts me that it’s her.

Here is the thing that I could not get my out of.

As long as I can remember, I have been a very detail oriented person - from how I speak, how I write and even how I see things.

The first two are things that I think that I can work around by taking breaks while talking or writing but I admit, I sometimes struggle with this especially whenever I am journaling or writing an assignment paper at university and exceed the word

(Most lecturers tell us that the word limits are there for a reason in order to practice writing similar to the word limit in an article because they have page limits too)

But there is another thing that has been bugging me and I realised only recently that the main cause of this probably related to my autism.

It is that I looking at something, I am not seeing it.

I am literally observing all of the details like whenever I look at a person's eyes, I cannot look at them literally but I am really at them reducably.

My mind looks into the many pits and spots on the skin, the wrecks, the hair follicles, the eyes on the eyes, the reflection on the iris.

I feel like I am performing surgery or looking at some medical image

Or even I look at the floor, I just cannot look at it holistically and my mind keeps wanting to break apart the details.

The thing colour difference from one tile to another like the shade, the contrast or even the spots or patterns on the tile.

Or how about when my mind just examines every little dot that I see on the concrete road as if I want to pick every single dot apart?

Heck, even right now, I currently reengaging or re-examining over and over again the different details on the lining of one letter to another and the different shapes that each letter apart.

It is as if I am deconstructing the alphabet into a thousand pieces.

God, my mind just cannot stop and I noticed this that gets worse whenever I feel tired or get nervous or perhaps have some sort of attention overload.

So honestly, what strategies can I use to tackle this? Is there any medication for this?

This lady by the name of "Green Roc" on youtube is begging for help to save her friend from Scripps Chula Vista Mercy Hospital. And made a video about how her friend is being abused (link to video) I am not an expert at ALL in anything related to this, but please check out the video yourself as I can't prove any other details relating to her friend because of rule 2.

I know some people who are neurodiverse have only disabling qualities while others have a combination of some qualities that are disabling and some qualities that are advantageous such as difficulty with recognizing social cues but also improved long term memory.

What if someone had a brain structure that was profoundly different from what was typical and that only gave them abilities most people don’t have with no disabling qualities? For instance this person had a much higher IQ than average, improved long term memory, and an improved ability to recognize social cues compared to most people and they had no qualities that could be disabling. Would they qualify as neurodivergent?

What are your incompatibilities with your partner/close loved ones? And how do you deal with them?

I’ll go first: my husband (37m he/him) is not as ambitious as me (35f she/they)… (not just in career; in everything) and I don’t think that’s inherently bad, but i find it tough to deal with. Still figuring out how to deal. (We’ve both been diagnosed with adhd).

whenever i try to sleep on beds or couches, i can't get comfortable; it makes me feel almost tense and my entire body feels uncomfortable when i try go to sleep in a bed. the floor is always so level and flat and it makes me feel secure. maybe i like the floor because beds are too high up, while the floor is the lowest point i can get. i've moved around in my bed for hours trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep hundreds of times, but i always end up getting frustrated and overwhelmed so i have to move my bedding and stuff down to the floor instead. at this point, if i'm at my home i don't even bother trying to sleep in my bed and just make my 'bed' on the floor. during sleepovers at my own house i have to sleep on the floor and give my friend the whole bed, which i don't actually mind doing, but i think it makes her feel bad or convinces others that i'm "scared of being near other people". it's terrible, i just want to be able to sleep in beds like most people instead of having to retreat to the floor. i have SPD and i'm autistic, so i'm guessing that may be part of the reasoning, but i want to know if i can fix this somehow. 'fix' actually doesn't sound right to me, more like 'help', i think. anyways, are there any ways that i can make my bed feel more comfortable to me or things that i can do to help myself sleep in a bed?

So I have an opportunity to start doing some academic research/publishing. The first step is going off and reading a bunch of research and coming up with questions.

Is anyone here doing academic research and do you have a system? I don't know, like an excel sheet to keep track of what you read, questions from it etc.? I've never been in this space before and I want to be using my time efficiently instead of muddling around for months until I figure out a system that semi-works for me (again).

So a few months ago, I joined a summer camp; a friend there who was autistic (we only met through the camp and didn’t know each other before) thought I was autistic, and told me it was okay to open up at first when I denied it.

I did some research after that exchange, found some quizzes online (yea they’re inaccurate I know) and they all came back as “you might be autistic” etc etc; I also recently made a comprehensive list of reasons to why I think I’m autistic as well.

I’ve always felt that I’ve been weird compared to other people especially at school— I mean, other people don’t loop songs for months; other people don’t lick and wipe their lips excessively (as in sometimes up to twice a minute); other people don’t infodump about their interests out of the blue.

My other friend told me to share it to my teacher/mentor (aka the teacher your parents see on parents day) so I did that yesterday— and now I’m kind of freaking out- what if she finds me on Monday and we have to talk about it? Do I need to prepare anything?

Anyways, here’s the comprehensive list:

• always had trouble asking for help since I was little (tbh I still don’t know why— just felt like “oh no I’ll be problematic and a burden if I ask for help” prime example: getting sick (I get carsick, boat sick and plane sick easily) and not telling anyone until I’m literally on the edge of retching) then feel guilty after asking for help
• masking (idk if this is the correct term…?) having multiple and PLANNING multiple personalities towards different people (like for one friend— I’m this chaotic and always chirpy and cheerful person; and for another— I’m a quiet-ish “good” student who only becomes like passionate when talking about my interests and stuff) (also idk if this is an example but eg for epic, I plan out in extreme detail on how I sing as different characters)
• “not fitting in” like not getting social cues, not understanding why people don’t like me, being called weird and a pick me (I’ve always found it hard to make friends unless we have like a mutual interest which is how I met like half of my friends)
• either no awareness or extreme awareness (like being too loud in public, unintentionally being a pick me/attention seeker)
• TONS of stimming (most common ones eg: echolalia (but I’m still researching on it), repeating songs and looping them for days and weeks (like rn: looped nothing but epic for almost 2 months), I love rubbing my fingers along like the edge of like one of those baby napkin things cus of the texture, singing and listening to the same songs for months, hyper fixations (to the point where it’s my exams next week and I’m still thinking of covers to record but that could just be a me problem), licking, wiping and picking at my lips excessively, (idk if this is one) feeling the need to brush my teeth until it feels extremely smooth when I run my tongue along it otherwise it feels weird, singing 24/7 to the point where 2 of my past friends got annoyed, scratching my palms, for some reason rubbing my earlobes whenever I don’t have earrings on, cracking my joints at least 3-5 times a day, etc)
• getting annoyed very easily when people don’t use my way to do something (but again, this can just be a me problem) (eg, I get extremely bossy when I’m stressed like when people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to do, getting annoyed and upset when I suggest to do something in a method but my friend wants to do another)
• sensory overload (only happened once tho) (this is a funny story: I once went to Teamlab with my friend (it’s like a display with sensory stuff) and I joked that neurodivergents on a certain side of the spectrum can’t come here cus they might get sensory overloads; not even half an hour later: gets a panic attack (which I still don’t know the reason why but the best educated guess is a sensory overload))
• sensory stims (this is probably about my obsession with music and like I said, can just be a me problem) wearing headphones 24/7 whenever I’m out and feeling weird if I’m not listening to music or something else when I’m out alone, literally listening to a part of a song or a song entirely for days and weeks and months without getting bored at all even if I know every second of the song, frequent Loopings of a song (like in my brain even when I’m doing something important)
• hyper fixations— spending hours and days and weeks to get grossly invested in something that I love (prime example: epic rn, binging jorge’s videos, analysing songs and lyrics in extreme detail, listening to musical motifs and details and being annoyed when my friends don’t get it when they listen to that part/if I bring up a detail jorge explained before and they don’t understand what I’m saying)
• (according to my friend) she was watching a show and one of the characters is autistic and she thought that I was similar to the character
• (according to the same friend) I don’t get sarcasm like 60-70% of the time and when I don’t get it she has to explain it to me
• terrible perception of time (again like I said can be just a me problem) doomscrolling for hours, recording for hours, listening to a song for hours, you get what I mean
• intrusive thoughts (but probably everyone has them) like erm (gosh) inappropriate thoughts iykwim 😭 there was a period of time where I just think of kissing my friends and wondering if it’d be weird and felt like a pervert for thinking that
• communication problems— being excessive and over sharing, over analysing and thinking everything (like rn), going non verbal sometimes especially to my mom and having to write notes to talk to her (since I was little), not wanting to bring up problems in friendships even if it’s making me feel bad cus I feel guilty and don’t wanna ruin our relationship (it’s hard to explain idk)
• not really knowing how to express my feelings (kinda like the having trouble getting help thing)
• (This is probably just a me thing) becoming really irritated very very quickly if someone says something inaccurate about something that I’m extremely invested in (for example people saying ocd is just cleanliness when it’s not)

In case anyone will ask: yes, I’ve already tried to tell my parents, they’re not even giving it a chance and just shut me down and be upset when I try to bring it up.

Disclaimer:
I am not trying to self diagnose, but I'm only curious to see if I should try to get formally diagnosed! If there's enough answers telling me that autism is likely, I'll try to reach out to my psychiatrist.

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- My symptoms:

• Many different sensory issues. (ex: the fat inside meat, certain clothing textures, loud sounds, bright lights, flashing lights-even just turning lights on or off makes me severely uncomfortable, etc)
• Major emotional regulation difficulty
• I always have trouble understanding other people's tone of voice. I always think that people are yelling at me or mad when they're not, especially when someone changes their tone- even if they're getting excited about something.
• Severe special interests that I've had for ~4-5 years at this point.
• I can't focus on something that aren't my special interests or hyperfixations without multi-tasking.
• I have a strange sleep routine, and I have to have very specific things in order to fall asleep.
• Very severe stimming, I stim a lot. (ex: echolalia/vocal stims, flapping hands, scratching myself, staring at bright patterns, etc)
• I have trouble with communicating how I feel, and other people usually think that I'm mad at them. Additionally, I usually mumble or talk too quietly for others to hear on accident, and this can be annoying when I'm trying to have a conversation.
• My mom had birthing difficulties when I was being born, and I've heard this makes neurodivergence more likely?
• ADHD traits - Hyperactivity AND inattentiveness. Like I said, my adhd was diagnosed, so just imagine I listed out all of the adhd traits lol.
• Loud music causes anxiety attacks and lots of stress that I have trouble calming down from, even if I expect there to be loud music or it's a song I'm familiar with. I just can't stand it.
• I had delayed language development when I was younger.
• A huge range of mental disorders, including autism, runs in my family.
• Socializing squeezes the energy out of me really fast.
• I mask a lot of my emotions, thoughts, etc at school or social places. It's hard to focus when I'm doing this, but I've noticed that it helps people feel comfortable around me.
• Almost all of the people around me think that I have many autism traits.
• A lot of my friends are neurodivergent or share the same symptoms as me, which helps me get along with them/relate and this helps me with my trouble of masking.

- Neurotypical behaviors (which are holding me back from making the decision to get screened):

1. I'm very empathetic and understand other people's emotions. I'm good at noticing facial expressions, I'm good at understanding sarcasm, etc!! The only things that I socially have trouble with is understanding tones & having to "mask" what feels right to me.
2. My mom doesn't think I'm autistic, which is a huge red flag that tells me I might not have it. I spend a lot of time around her. But ironically, all of my friends think that I'm autistic... so there's that?

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Last disclaimer (copy paste of beginning):
I am not trying to self diagnose. Please know that I've done months of research on this and I understand that reaching out to a psychiatrist is the best thing to do! I'm only trying to figure myself out and understand if it's worth getting screened.

Like, pretty much about anything and everything. The election results? Whatever. A tragic incident on the news? Meh. Being sent to the hospital? Okay.

Earlier this year I was kicked out of the room I was staying in due to non-payment, and I became homeless for pretty much 5 months. Homeless as in, out on the streets and nowhere to go at night. When I lost my job, I kind of just didn't care. The day I got kicked out, it didn't really phase me.

It was weird because years ago, I was such a sensitive person who would always be called out for being overly emotional and stuff like that. Now, I hear about all sorts of bad stuff on line and on the news and I just don't feel anything. I kind of feel like nothing really matters anymore.

These things, these tragedies that we experience, I've been beginning to see them as commonplace in a society like ours. A lot of these problems won't go away and will never just disappear. Therefore, whenever I see it happen or whenever I'm victim to a tragedy, I kind of just don't care. Does anyone else feel this way?

16m, uk for context sake

So I made a post here yesterday as I was tackling some self hate issues regarding autism, and as of recently I have come here to seek advice and such.

One of my main problems is that I feel it is nothing but a hindrance and has ruined my life, however I am aware that I do have self hate problems and I want to work on it, and eventually grow to like myself even with with autism (or as autistic, if you will)

And to see those benefits and such, I’ve decided to post here to see what other people think :) I’m trying to take this in an optimistic manner but if realism is needed so be it.

FYI: I was diagnosed almost 6 years ago and since my diagnosis I haven’t spoke about it with anyone since(until now)

Based in the UK Heard that GP did not even try to book an assessment because it is an unrealistic waiting list. I don’t know, as I am not originally from the UK, I am happy to live as I am but for many neurodivergent’s social media content, I am so relatable and I cackle. 😂 poor me. I also looked up the private assessment but I heard that it is not covered by any NHS-related service if any treatment is required. Knowing that private assessment costs about £1500 to £3000, I just gave up. It doesn’t seem to be worth it. Or is it still worth it? Lol, what if I am not a neurodivergent? I just have many traits similar to neurodivergent. 🥹 I don’t know…

I was recently diagnosed with asd on August 29th at 31 years old and on my diagnostic report I said I meet criteria for asd mild/high functioning does this mean asd level 1 any similar experiences or advice would be appreciated thanks