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It’s so weird to have these experiences.

During hypomania I experience very present voices, encouraging whispers (when they aren’t gibberish). They are helpful, affirming and kind.

Everyone tells me that this is a chemical imbalance and a brain structure condition.

But the voices feel divine. I feel divine.

Every time i get upset, nobody wants to talk to me because they say all i like to do is pick fights. I can't help it though, but why do i do it? Why am i like this? Why do i hurt everyone around me without even trying? Im reduced to silence by my family when I'm upset because they refuse to talk to me and it only hurts even more. I just want support, not to be shunned because i dont know how to control myself. I'm just a monster...

Mostly out of curiousity, figuring out the "state of the art" of managing bipolar disorder in the workplace, and what the ideal approach to sick leave might be...

If dealing with performance-impacting episodic illness where one only realises what happened once it's over, e.g. manic episodes, and one cannot retroactively take sick leave for the previous two weeks (this I imagine to be typical, but I didn't try hard to seek special case possibilities), it can be hard (impossible?) to have sickness taken into consideration in performance evaluations.

Under a system like that (which might be most systems?), someone with episodic illness that isn't easily self-recognised and reported probably needs some external support for said recognition and reporting. Maybe it helps that it's a fairly limited number of careers that provide sufficient autonomy for performance issues to only be recognised some weeks later?

It’s been 20 years since my initial diagnosis, 2 hospital stays…countless meds only to give up because they didn’t work, I couldn’t deal with the side effects, or I convinced myself I didn’t need them. After having kids I started practicing self care and lifestyle management to help keep myself in check without medication (and the help of my spouse).

I am bipolar 2…after some impulse spending problems and severe depression episode I decided to try meds again. I do not know if I’ll make it through another depressive episode like the last few I’ve had. Anyway, 3 months on my medication and I’ve basically skipped this quarterly depressive episode. My mind is quiet and I don’t feel so impulsive and irritable. Maybe I can be chill enough to actually go to therapy and confront some past traumas.

I could smack myself for going so long without meds. Last night I was in tears over just the state of calmness and quiet I feel now. I feel like a better partner and mother. The difference really is life changing. Just posting some positivity because I tend to spiral out on all the negative medication posts and talk myself out of starting .

I need to go on for like 2 months of non-drinking to avoid a 6 months long rehab but I don't think I can do it. Being sober physically hurts. I'm so bored and uninterested in life :(

Obviously it’s asked a lot, but I think there’s a certain bias that I can’t argue to my doctors that they’re wrong because that’s chalked up to just another symptom of bipolar.

For various reasons I’m not taking medication anymore and I feel like people’s knee jerk reaction to that is ‘that’s just a part of being bipolar’. I get bouts of depression sure, but is it hypomania or is it me just getting back on my feet?

What’s a safe way to determine this, how long of a period of stability is an alright time(off-meds) to say that maybe they’re wrong about me? And If I get depressed how do I differentiate that from bipolar depression or just regular depression or just burnout or life stresses?

i was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when i was 12 years old, and i had rapid cycling and i was in constant state of crisis and trauma responses so my episodes were even more common and severe. I turn 21 in 2 months and last year I noticed I'm not having rapid cycling anymore. I took off all my antipsychotics except lamotrigine (i see psychiatrist every week btw). I still have mania but its not like the mania i have always had, and its not even very long either (tbh i can't even tell if its episodes anymore or i'm just happy bc being happy is actually pretty new to me) was just wondering if anyone was diagnosed really young and ever changed their diagnosis after growing? i'm genuinely curious if anyone has gone from 1 to 2 or its just the meds and my stable mental health. I know a lot of people get diagnosed later in life but I guess I'm trying to understand if its happened to others?

let me know your experiences, i'd love to read all your comments. thanks everyone!!

I'm sorry if this isn't entirely coherent, my brains going a million times faster than my fingers can write and I can't focus. If anything needs to be flagged differently or adjusted for clarity let me know.

I moved across country for school, and Im wait listed for a psych rn. My gp in my new state is doing my bare bones meds, and it's just not cutting it. I can't financially afford going inpatient right now to stabilize but I'm really not doing well. Every time I Have gone inpatient for manic episodes they don't really know how to handle it because usually they're used to depression.

I don't have my support system here, I haven't slept in days, I haven't done any school work in weeks, I got into a car accident a few days ago and I think it plunged me from hypo to acute mania.

Does anyone have any tips for managing mania?

I don’t understand them… they say I have Bipolar I now, and that I’ve been manic, psychotic, and also depressed and psychotic. And that I’ve lost insight into my own illness. I stopped taking my medication this summer, and I was already more energetic and such—I think it was the universe sending me energy so that I could move forward in my mission. But after I stopped the medication, my soul began to float in the universe. I was in the universe. I saw and heard things that others didn’t. I gained insight into the universe. I understood more. Then I was very scared because I was afraid that evil would capture my soul that was in the universe. They also say I became severely depressed and psychotic. I never felt I was depressed? I was just a little sad for a few days, then I had a new revelation that they then considered to be psychosis and depression. I felt perfectly fine, I didn’t feel down and I wasn’t in pain. So now nothing makes sense. I am being medicated against my will and still admitted. It’s very strange because I’m not sick! They just say I lack insight, but isn’t it the case that people with bipolar gain insight when they take medication and an episode is over? I know what happened, and I think it’s true. I know that I’m not sick and don’t need medication.

Happy Saturday!

A common question that comes up is, 'How do I tell people I have bipolar disorder?'. Do you disclose at work? To close friends and family? Or are you telling the whole world? Perhaps you keep it between you and the psychiatrist. How many dates should you go on before you bring it up? Which terminology do you prefer - I have bipolar or I am bipolar? Every Saturday, we ask for advice on navigating these tricky conversations. Ask questions, tell your story, and support each other through disclosure and beyond.

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^(Keep it kind, keep it civil, keep it cool.)

Hey everyone!

First time poster here. Recently I have started therapy with my psychologist but they highly advised me to also see a psychiatrist because alongside of some other unrelated bad stuff, a lot of the symptoms and things I go through remind them of some of their bipolar clients.

All my life I have always juggled between mania/hypomania-like state, depression/extreme depression and some brief periods of stability, but they would greatly vary in terms of length. Half a year I can be what could be described as manic/hypomanic, then it would either gradually turn to depression or suddenly switch to it. Or it could be mania/hypo for a week, then depression for another week, then mania/hypo again and eventually the episodes would go longer again for no reason. And again, sometimes there would be some periods of stability (just like rn) for a week or longer.

I already made a psychiatrist appointment for next week. I am just asking if anyone has ever experienced something like that and whether it's bipolar or not I still want to seek help. When I don't feel either manic/hypo or depressed, just this feeling of shame comes because of all the things I did or reacted in certain situations.

Thank you!

Had a crazy manic episode the other day. For everyone who feels like it’s there is no end and stressed bout there actions and choices while manic, you’re not alone. Everyone is different and at the same time we are all the same. Keep your head up 😉

So I had a mixed episode with psychosis after I stopped Wellbutrin this time last year. I went to the hospital due to the psychosis and I was told my diagnosis was Bipolar Disorder not otherwise specified. I also fit the criteria of depression with a mixed episode. Both conditions are treated with the same medication so there really isn’t a problem with the care I am receiving, or at least not yet. We will have to see what happens when my antipsychotic is lowered as it also has antidepressants effects.

It’s frustrating because I feel like I am in limbo. Will I have another mixed episode or am i destined for either a manic/hypomanic episode or will I just continue to have depression with psychosis when I am depressed. I feel like I have imposter syndrome, am I actually bipolar or is this the result of a series of events because no one at the hospital really talked to me about what my symptoms were other than the psychosis and now my therapist is actually asking the important questions that actually help with the diagnosis 6 months after my psychosis ended, like why the hell was everyone so against asking these questions when I was psychotic.

Hi all,

The last two years in the city has weared me down. I have never iked where I live and, in fact, was born, but it has gotten unbearable for me lately, especially considering my mental health.
I want live a small town in a country whos language I don't actually know (but can learn). I two older relatives there, but I feel scared because I don't have a long-term partner or 'friends' there, which can really isolate me.
I don't know what to do; do any of you live alone in a small town?

My drive is insane... husband doesn't understand because be has a low drive.. this isn't asking for advice more just saying outloud so to speak... It's frustrating... I try to intiatate everything and I understand tiredness but It's hard to understand when we are so on and ready.. not even manic just hyper s**ual atm.. FYI I'm stable and medicated just having the hyper urgers.. maybe I need to reassess things, writing it out has made me question if I'm cycling... thanks for listening

I was diagnosed at 18. Last night I felt intense happiness and joy for the prospects of a better future for myself. Does anyone else wonder whether they’re manic just for feeling good? I feel like there is a barrier and it’s stops me appreciating life to the full. Every time I’m genuinely happy it’s knocked a bit by being worried that I’m going crazy and probably use to being sad most of the time! Oh well, mania or not I genuinely prefer this to being sad. Professionals always think mania is the worst. I’d rather be crazy than suicidal… Anyways, happy weekend everyone! :)

I’ve had hallucinations before but I haven’t ever since my meds were upped and I’m scared because I’m practically a zombie already but I feel and see bugs crawling on me and there trying to get in my mouth and I’m freaking out. I don’t want to wake anyone up because I already did last night because I destroyed my room because I thought my dog hid my fan remote. Am I psychotic? I don’t want any more meds or back at a psych ward I’m not suicidal I swear. They won’t stop though

Lately it’s been really bad. I have a boyfriend I got a job. Everything is supposedly going right for me but at the same time I just feel hopeless and sad. I’m tired of feeling fake happiness only for a short minute of time before it only comes down. I relapse on drugs still Because I feel like they’re the only thing that could comfort me at this moment. I try to talk to my boyfriend about things, but he doesn’t understand I’ve been hallucinating lately about other people talking about me in the other room when there’s no one talking and feeling bugs crawling me I’ve been having more manic episodes recently and this is after I got my meds up, but I just need help. I had to handle these situations because I can’t do it anymore I’m at the verge. I’m just quitting my life at this point.

I don’t even know how to handle my severe disinterest in being alive - I did NOT say I want to die. I don’t. I just don’t want to do anything at all. I’m bored. I wish I was just asleep all the time. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing is fun. I’m usually planning some escape route from everything or not showing up when I should anyways. Like this shit is actually exhausting. This disorder is killing me.

What have any of you done for bipolar depressed episodes? I’ve tried everything and the only thing that slightly helps are not allowed to be discussed here? Bc that’s cool.

It’s awful to WANT to do shit but be stuck like frozen taking NO action because it’s worthless anyways.

Smoked since I was 13 and at 19 I ate too many brownies that sent me into a month long phychosis. Ever since I’ve felt really stoned and it’s never gone away even tho I’ve been completely clean of drugs since. Some days its worse then others but lately I think I’m starting to loose my mind. Idk what’s real, I have no concept of time and my memory is not working. I’ve lost all my friends. I can’t work or train, it’s completely ruined my life. Is it possible to stay stoned forever? No doctors know what’s wrong with me and no one takes me seriously because I “come off as normal” but inside I want to die. Pls help me

I’m diagnosed bpd, scitzotypal and pmdd.

I’m not full manic but I’ve been traveling and off meds a bit. Long story short, my tire blows and so many weird things happened from there. Free ride from tow guy (very nice), ubered part of the way back and the Uber guy was talking a mile a minute but very cool, and then there were a million cop cars at one of the local fast food joints. I’m thinking, please just get me home safe. Last time o was off meds something else happened with my car and one of the people who gave me a ride was also really really interesting (I guess)

Honestly a lot of other weird things happened tonight but wtf?? And same thing with when I was first hospitalized with mania. Weird occurrences. Just odd.

Taking my meds now but anyone else have this happen???

What are some grandiose delusions you've had?

I thought I was a reincarnation of a god (and of multiple important figures) in a mission to become a god myself and I was wondering if other people had similar experiences.

Title is a joke as I am unfortunately 23 years of age.

Hi so this is a burner, but I just needed to vent a little and maybe get some advice.

I live at home with my parents. I was diagnosed at 18 and before that I dropped out of my senior year bc of the symptoms I was encountering like a year before I went to a psychiatrist. After like four years of having a psych that in the end didn't even think I had bipolar (bc when I went to get another and my files were given to them, I was only listed as having depression/anxiety even though she explicitly diagnosed me with bipolar in 2020), I've been struggling to get my GED so I can actually, you know, be independent and live my life. I have a lot of shame surrounding it but I try and do my part with my family and be as grateful as I can for even having a place to stay at all.

The problem is that my dad is an alcoholic. He isn't physically abusive but he can be emotionally abusive and belligerent when drunk. I've been dealing with this since I was nine. He got a DUI in 2020 and ended up in a jail cell. Was sober for like nine months, then tried it again to see if he could take it.

Anyway, I've been biting my tongue lately even though he's recently lost his job and is stressed. But he gets drunk every night, per usual, and tonight he collapsed on the floor and I found my mother, who's currently experiencing a bad Crohn's flare up, trying to help him. I really couldn't do it anymore. I yanked him up and cursed him out, told him he was an asshole and "fuck you."

I'm seeing my new psych next week and I hope to god that whatever medicine they give me works good so I can get a job by January at least and get myself out. I just wonder if anyone else has been in a similar situation/has advice? Because I've felt alone about it all these years, and it just makes me feel even more singled out as an already very mentally ill person. I had a very bad depressive episode the past month, couldn't even enjoy my birthday really, nor anything else in life, and I really just wish I could be normal.

I started a new med combo in August and I haven’t had any symptoms since the end of August!

I can’t believe this is what it’s like to be normal. I feel genuinely happy for no reason a lot of the time, but not an in unhinged way. It’s so beautiful.

I just appreciate being alive so much. I’ve had moments of sadness because I had a bad day or something bad happened, but I haven’t had a breakdown or struggled to get out of bed and I’ve only cried once. I used to cry every. single. day.

I used to think about killing myself multiple times a day, too. I haven’t thought about that once. I can’t believe I ever wanted to end my own life.

I used to think my life was awful and needed major fixing. My life is the same it has always been technically, but I’m completely content with it now. Sure, there are things that I’d prefer to change, but I feel lucky to wake up and live my life. My life is actually not bad at all, it’s great. I have a great life.

I’ve had so many failed med combos and it took ending up in the psych ward to try this one. I’m not bitter about that stay, it saved my life.

Just making this post to say that yes— it can happen. With the right meds, you can be stable.

My whole body hurts because I have been treating it poorly. I just feel worn out and upset about some of my choices. I am at a loss for moving forward to feel better mentally and physically.

For my fellow podcast-enjoyers, I wanted to share this gem (and specifically this episode) with you all. I have found solace and a beautiful community when I’ve needed it the most thanks to Paul & this pod. It’s definitely NSFW and can of course be heavy, but I hope it can be for someone else what it has for me. Good vibes and love to you all. 🫶🏻

After my first and only manic episode one year ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. However, after spending time in subreddits and other self-research, I'm really confused as to why I was given BP2 and not BP1. I experienced psychosis during and I was hospitalized for it. I was diagnosed when I got out of the hospital by my university psychiatrist, who basically wasn't there for any of it lol.

Now, I know official labels don't really mean that much, it's moreso if one's symptoms are being treated correctly. I've been taking daily antipsychotics since the hospital and have had only 1-2 very minor (hypo)manic feelings since, so I guess it's mostly been kept at bay. But would there be a benefit to being "correctly" diagnosed? I feel like keeping the bp2 label is going to reduce problems down the road (shoutout to ableism and stigma /s). But I also don't know if I'm screwing myself over by not getting reevaluated.

Would appreciate hearing from anyone, especially if you have personal experience with being misdiagnosed as the "wrong" bipolar type! Thanks :)

Edit: Thank you everyone for your replies! Based on people's responses, I'm gonna go with my gut and just keep it as it is (as long as I don't get another manic episode...).

I've received different opinions from multiple doctors and i'm struggling. I've been getting help for the past 8 years and was originally diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but no treatment worked for me. Then i received 3 more opinions after having to switch doctors for multiple reasons whether it would be dismissiveness or too expensive. I finally found an affordable Telehealth doctor. I'm apprehensive about the whole thing to be honest. She told me to stop taking certain medications for now and just stick to the one that was prescribed to me. I honestly don't think it's going to help or do anything as alot of them gave me crap side effects and made me feel worse. I can't name the meds due to strict policy and previous posts being taken down which i don't understand as i was just trying to give more detail. I was diagnosed with ADHD as well to put it that way. Do any of you also have ADHD? Maybe it's a comorbidity that i'm not aware of? I know depression and adhd can go hand in hand, but they always diagnose me with something different. The provider didn't ask much about childhood and school. I gave her like 3 sentences and the she proceeded to ask about my mood. I also say this because Bipolar is misdiagnosed alot along with depression and alot of people turned out to have ADHD. I guess i'll just give the new prescription a try, but mood stabilizers only made me feel worse. Also forgot to mention that i'm a woman and it's common for us to get a Bipolar diagnoses. I honestly don't want to take the meds, but i'm willing to give them a try. I know every medication has potential side effects, but i've heard they can be pretty bad. I don't react well to most things that have been prescribed to me.

Hello! 19F here. Back in April and May I had a major depressive episode and I ended up being hospitalized. It was so severe that I would sleep on my dirty clothes. During it I had hallucinations. I would hear a man scream in agony everywhere I went. The voices told me that I was a horrible person and I should just kill myself. At some point, I started to believe the angels of God was talking to me and sending me commands.

I know psychosis can happen during manic episodes but has anyone had it during their depressive episodes?