earlier today I almost made a post about bullying someone and when writing it, felt real but then sometime near the end I kind of realized that everything I was writing was totally blown out of proportion to extreme degrees and everything I had wrote was pretty much made up. It felt nice at the end though, like I banished the crazy out.

This is strange, I haven’t heard anyone talk about this before, but idk where else I’d talk about this. Sometimes I have a hard time thinking about others and their feelings. Specifically when I’m experiencing my OCD symptoms. If I’m doing a compulsion that is bothering someone else, that other person is often not in the forefront of my mind. Like, if I’m running late because I have to check my stove and my partner is getting upset, I don’t really care because I need to make sure. This is the case with several other compulsions, even ones that are physically uncomfortable for others. I often don’t realize that’s what’s going on until someone says something.

I just don’t know what to even do about it anymore, I feel really helpless and burdensome. I don’t know what to do. I keep trying to stop or make myself more aware but it never works and it always goes back to where it used to be.

I definitely have the intrusive thoughts and the obsessions but how do I identify my compulsions as this just powers my obsession on whether I have ocd or not.

Part of my OCD is being accused of some kind of sexual abuse. As a single dad with daughters I often struggle with these worries. Just recently I walked in on my 11 year old who was starting to take her swimmers off in her room. She had a crop top on underneath so I didn’t see anything but it caused my OCD to spiral like I had committed an act of abuse . My rational Brain knows it was an innocent thing that happens in a household and I didn’t see her genital or even breast region but OCD says otherwise . Guess I’m just after advice on how to accept that these things can happen when living as part of a family and are normal

I think i've done everything i could regarding my ocd and reassurance seeking. there's no more reassurance left to give myself. i should be feeling calm but i'm not because that tiiiiiiny chance of something happening is still in the back of my mind. how do i relax? i feel like if i let myself feel happy the thing i fear is gonna happen.

i have been with my partner for over two years now but recently i’ve been noticing their ocd seems to be triggering my ocd more? for example, my partner has a lot of anxiety about falling to sleep and will do a lot of rituals before going to bed to make sure it’s “just right”. lately i’ve been noticing that i have also starting to get more anxious about sleep and even doing the things they do before attempting to sleep. i’ve noticed myself picking up more and more of their habits lately and wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

I had this experience last month and the way I was able to escape this chokehold was to say maybe, maybe not and acceptance

my obsessions have become crippling this week for some reason and i don’t know why. my compulsions aren’t calming me down at all like they normally do and i find i’m spending up to an hour doing them with 0 reassurance or relief. i’m exhausted. i don’t know why this is happening. i don’t know how to stop it and right now i don’t know what the point is of living. right now i’m petrified that i’m going to burn to death in my bedroom because my radiator is boiling hot even though it’s meant to be on the lowest level, i have my fan on to cool me down and i’m terrified a fire will start and the mess in my room- which i’ve been unable to clean due to my ocd being so fucking time consuming- will only cause the fire to become bad really quick and the fan will oxygenate the flames. i know i’m being crazy. i can’t calm down. my back hurts and i’m starving but i can’t eat because of my ocd. my eyes hurt, i’m so fucking tired but i’m freaking out internally and i don’t know what to do because no compulsion will calm me down and i can’t stop thinking that i’m going to burn to death even though it’s probably fine. i’m fucking tired. this isn’t a disorder anymore, it’s an incurable disease and it’s debilitating. and the worst part is, even though i’ve always had ocd it suddenly got immensely worse the second i hit 20 and as such this is all new to me and i don’t know how to cope, my therapist referred me to someone new but that was months ago and i’ve had 0 confirmation of it. this is new to me. it’s not fair. i don’t know how to cope. i can’t even open up to my family about this because my parents are extremely dismissive, apparently my brother believes he may have ocd too and my mother replied to that by rolling her eyes and scoffing at him. some of my compulsions are gross and embarrassing and i can’t open up to anybody about them. this week has been awful. nothing is helping. i refuse to take meds. i’m so tired and scared.

So in June I would get these horrible intrusive thoughts and for some reason I made a pact that if I ever drink alcohol or smoke the intrusive thought would actually happen(I don’t know why I did this).

Till now I haven’t touched a sip of it out of fear of the intrusive thought happening. Also if I’m around cigarette I’ll slightly obsess over whether I’ve broken the pact through second hand smoke. It’s like even if I wanted to do these things I won’t out of fear of breaking this pact.

Im not depressed, but I‘ve been having super intense thoughts of ending everything. If I end it all, it will make this stop. I can’t handle this anymore.

One step closer to ruling the world

I cant do this anymore. Since the start of this year I cant act normally or do the things i wanna do on my own at all without feeling that the 3 people I know are watching me through my eyes.

These 3, are people who have a huge impact on me. (In a good way)

Although one of 3 of the people Is someone I seen on Youtube....By watching him I was able to relate to him and it felt like we had a "bond" since I viewed him like an ideal older brother or father. I can see their judgemental facial expressions while their watching me.

I also perform compulsions when the thoughts get too "Loud"/when they get too judgemental Such as:

1. Covering my head to hide my face
2. Shaking my head
3. Lightly tapping my hand or feet on the ground/table
4. If they get TOO LOUD than usual, I'd sometimes talk to them. e.g 'SHUT UP' 'DON'T YOU EVER JUST SHUT UP'
5. I do get the thoughts of getting violent like smashing my head against the table/wall or even punching but I never act out on them.

After I do these compulsions they don't ever go away they just get reduced or "quiet"
and their always there 24/7 even as im typing this. These people activate as soon as I wake up from bed.

One time I was trying to do push-ups but completely refrained from doing it as soon as I noticed their reaction. It's kinda like a voice in my head as my social worker calls it sometimes...

Its hard to do the things I want to or be interested in the things I like without feeling that the people watching me through my eyes are making fun of what I like. I just want to rip everything out of my head I don't want to think of it anymore. I just want to live one day in comfort without having to do it for the sake of the people in my head. I just want to enjoy things like I used to.

OCD makes liking someone so hard like I wish I could just crush on a guy like everyone else does without over analyzing any situation with them or worrying whether they think im cute or not but it’s getting better now (than before 😭)

This may come off as a compulsion...but I'm 3 years into a somewhat post-OCD life thanks to ERP. I'm just really curious what y'all think/if anyone has felt the same way of being somewhat a sexual person - having OCD for years but - afterwards have an odd relationship with sex

Backstory: I remember as a kid liking sexual/sensual stuff that made me feel aroused. Around 8 or 9 I started developing OCD tendencies and by 14 or 15 I became trapped by OCD, particularly, sexually intrusive thoughts. I grew up in the south and viewed sex low-key as a thing only "bad teenagers" did but around 16 I started thinking I wanted to have sex. Due to my intrusive thoughts I was older than most people when I had my first kiss -> having sex because I was sooooo scared a thought would pop up when I did anything at all sexual with a person. It became less about desire and feeling like I just needed to catch-up with my peers. Once I was having sex, it was something to do to have a decent body count to, once again, fit in with what I thought my peers were doing. Sex was/is alright...but I am a woman with female anatomy and it takes me a while to finish by clitorial stimulation so maybe that's why I'm not crazy about it unlike the people with penisis who (in my experience) are in heaven as soon as their penises are slightly played with...but also the intrusive thoughts that happened during sex did not help me experience pleasure. ANYWAYS, it felt like a thing I did low-key just to have something to talk about with my friends. I'm now in my late 20s and haven't had severe OCD for three (3) years now thanks to ERP. I don't have intrusive thoughts when I have sex anymore...but I don't care for sex.

I'm not sure if anyone else has had OCD who are okay with their thoughts now but still don't have a positive relationship with sex. Maybe I am asexual (fraysexual in particular because I feel like my attraction does fade but maybe that's all relationships??) or I have a low libido or OCD has made me have such bad association with sex that I no longer like it. Like I still get in my head but with random thoughts instead of an OCD cycle. I feel like it's so hard for me to connect my brain and my body without having some form of anxiety. I do weirdly like to feel aroused and sensual but passed that I'm lost.

Thanks!!

So I’ve been on meds (sertraline max dose) for almost a year now and honestly I’ve seen improvements on a lot of my unhealthy habits(?)

I’m currently in sophomore year and looking back at 7th-9th grade I’ve had really really bad dermatillomania. From scalp picking, ripping open bug bites and keratosis, and ripping ingrown hairs, to just picking at finger skin (it’s still not good but it’s progress) I think I’ve been good!

I had therapy for a good year and it’s helped so much, it wasn’t for my skin picking of course but when things were clearing in my head space I became less manic about my skin and have been able to focus on my health. Although I’d definitely say I don’t have as much experience as any adults here I do want to suggest that if you have any sort of problem, it’s just an obstacle you have to face and you can get through it!!! 🐟

Im wondering if any of you have had similar issues. I’ve been having intrusive thoughts and fears of a loved one dying in a car accident, and I cannot get the vivid picture out of my head and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve been googling car accident statistics in my area which of course makes it worse, but I keep looking up the same thing over and over again. He’s driving an hour away tomorrow with a friend to go to a basketball game and I’ve convinced myself what I’m experiencing isn’t intrusive thoughts but intuition, which has been leading to panic attacks. If anyone has experienced something similar I’d love to hear what you’ve gone through and how you coped, I feel very alone in my feelings. I want to be clear I am not seeing a professional right now but I am calling one on Monday to get in for an appointment.

When I was younger, I thought everything I did was “normal”. From checking switches, stoves, locks, asking constant reassurance, bad thoughts, rituals, constant rumination, heavy feelings of anxiety/guilt. This last year, my mind has been latched onto something, which according to my hours of research, is probably “real event”. Only until the last recent years, have I been suspecting OCD or at least “something”. After my first “breakdown” the other day, I decided to email a psychologist to get tested for OCD or something. This was also my “I need therapy” moment. Anything I should expect? Or maybe I just don’t have it all?

Hi everyone!

I am wondering if anyone here has a cat and how it has positively or negatively impacted them living with OCD. Have you found them to be relatively easy to take care of? Have they had a positive impact on your symptoms and anxiety coping?

Long story short, I have OCD and am thinking about getting a cat and I’m looking to hear some experiences of other people in this community! Thanks in advance. :)

I feel lately, that subredits where people are going trough similar experiences helped me very much to feel more suported and less alone in my healing journey. In general, in where i live it would be imposible to get better without internet. Thanks for that ! :)))

Title says it all, I have contamination OCD and my therapist thinks the obsession with bed bugs is part of that. Normally I keep it together but I'll be travelling soon and have been spiraling a bit out of anxiety i'll bring them home. Tonight, after going out I was at my apartment door scrolling through insta when I saw a bug on my shoulder and swatted at it in panic. Nos I can't find the bug (dead or alive) and I'm freaked out convinced it was a bedbug that got stuck to me and is now roaming free in my apartment and I'm going to get an infestation since its hard to tell you have them at the beginning. More logically it could have been a beetle cause I get them sometimes but my brain is stuck since I can't find proof to say it wasn't actually a bed bug. How can I cope?

Hey y’all, I’m currently in the mist of a nasty thought spiral and am struggling to stop it. What are your guys favorite and or conventional/unconventional methods to stop the thoughts from pacing so hard?

I have a very specific type of OCD that I would describe as blackmailing myself OCD.

Trying not go into the specifics and stick to the narrative as this is always the same. Does anyone else have fears they could share explicit things or secrets or whatever on a messenger be it to friends or family and thus ruining life / job and so on? Then delete the text for myself so I canˋt even go back to it? I keep recording my screen as a compulsion to remain in control and use apple screen time to check whether a specific app was open or not? This OCD makes it so hard for me to answer messages because I feel I could sabotage myself with explicit messages (especially bad when drinking alcohol). I sometimes have to wait until the other person sends me a message so this way the chat is ´locked´ because its unread and now Ieave it unread which can cause problems etc..

I also have false memory OCD in relation to above where I fear that I indeed sent messages eventho I canˋt recall the content lol.. sometimes I try to reason with it and come up with the conclusion that I had to do it so that the obsession stops as the damage is now done, this can also lead to panic attack.. this also goes not only for messages but also talking in person having paranoia that the other person could be voicerecording me..

I also know deep down that this is BS and actually all these years never did anything if it turn out to be true..

How to handle these? What OCD type does this fit into ?

Out of nowhere, I’ve developed some rather severe phobias. I’m curious about the origin of these fears. I’m particularly afraid of driving over bridges and being in buildings on the second floor. It’s quite irrational because logically, I know I’m safe. However, suddenly, I feel scared.

I’ve even started having panic attacks even when I’m at the mall on the second floor because I’m afraid the ground will collapse beneath me. This fear is getting worse and not better with exposure. I’m trying the DARE book for exposure, but each time I attempt to confront my fear directly, I experience traumatic panic attacks.

It has been literal weeks since I was fighting the thoughts. It’s super hard for me not to fight my intrusive thoughts because it feels like if I’m not fighting them - then I believe them (I know this fear comes from the OCD), but it’s so fucking hard not to respond sometimes. Especially when the feelings are like as if I do believe the intrusive thoughts - it makes it so hard not to fight back the thoughts. Well I messed up, and I did fight them back - stereotypical “no I don’t believe that because of x,y, and z. It made my OCD ten times worse, and I had a panic attack. I’m feeling setback now, and lost like I don’t know what to do.

Can anyone relate?

To start off, for a few years I've had horrible anxiety. In the past year I have had a lot more rising up. Whenever I had a conversation with someone, I would rethink the conversation for hours because I thought I was rude or said something wrong. Now, when I think things, I go 'What if someone cause read my thoughts and the tell people" Then I get extremely anxious. Over the summer I drove myself to thinking what if the world isn't real. I couldn't eat certain foods because they were laced. When I take pills that aren't my normal ones, I think I will die. I repeat the words "I am safe, I am secure, I am loved" all the time when I am scared. I check my neck to make sure I have a pulse. I tap my fingers all the time over and over with the phrase "Wake up" and if I don't something bad will happen and it doesn't work if there is anything between my fingers. I have so many unwanted thoughts. I am scared that people know what I do on my phone even if there is no reason they would know. I have to sleep with the ceiling fan on or it's wrong. I feel like I am falling apart and I am not sure what to do because even though I think I might have OCD I think what if I'm pretending I am having these symptoms.

anyone else whose had/has this subtype ever hear someone discussing some niche medical thing (like them not knowing what it is or what its called but talking about a symptom, idea etc) and you just drop your knowledge on it from obsessions/compulsions and theyre just like Wow

So I was recently diagnosed with high functioning OCD and I was asked if I wanted to try to self manage or try medication. Does anyone else here have HFOCD and how are you managing ? Also, what is it like ?

I struggle with social anxiety as well. Every time I start to date people, my mind has these negative thoughts and all my insecurities come out. Even in early stages of dating, my mind thinks about negative events that could happen in future like divorce or her leaving me. It always has to do with the fear of her leaving me. I don't know why I am obsessed with this fear and always ruminate on why she would want to leave me. It has prevented me from getting attached to potential partners. I'm not able to connect with people because I'm always thinking of reasons they will leave me. I need help

I used to watch two shows arcane and code lyoko and now they trigger my ocd/anxiety. I loved one of them code lyoko and arcane that has a new season that triggered my anxiety in the first episode. I want to watch it and figure out what happens but I don’t want to spiral into the dark places with my ocd ideation. This happened with a show called shogun which I watched and then got triggered the whole time by but wanted to finish it. Any suggestions on what to do or should i just not watch it? Maybe talk with my therapist? Does this happen to anyone else? For content my anxiety/ocd spirals into looping thoughts. Tends to spike during period.

i need help. i’m 20F and i’m having the worst surrounding the topic of death. it’s debilitating, my heart beat keeps going up and i’m constantly crying and my appetite is low. i’ve had a phase like this a year ago and it randomly came back just recently and it’s been a week now of me feeling like this.

im terrified of death. i don’t want it to happen. i don’t want to stop being aware.i want everyone i love to stay and i cry immediately when i think of the fact that i will be dead forever, my brain crashes when i try to imagine what it’s like to be dead, to be nothing. it’s impossible to imagine it and it freaks me out. nothing is calming me down. i’m reading through many reddit posts of people going through the same fear and i’m reading advice from reddit and nothing has calmed me down.

i just want something more to be out there after my life. i don’t want it to be nothing, that’s terrifying. i want one of those theories to be true like living my life on loop, any afterlife, reincarnation, religion, something. but i know that these theories come from us humans needing comfort and needing to feel like there’s “something more out there” but in reality and scientifically, there is not. i’m terrified of no afterlife. i’m tired of being terrified of something that is out of my control and i just need help. how can i start looking at death in a positive way? how can i work towards accepting it? i have people i love that i never want to leave.even if i didn’t, the thought of me not being conscious forever is taking a toll on my mental health. please help me

i am not professionally diagnosed with OCD but i have had many OCD symptoms throughout my life.