Im having problems with thought insertion. Its happening quite often now and its really annoying for me. I keep telling them to go away and it doesn’t work all the time.

For anyone who used to have the same problem, what medication worked best for it? I’m currently on Lybalvi (olanzapine) and it doesn’t seem to be working that well for me at the moment.

Thank you 🙏

This is the weekly post where anyone can check-in. I personally love to know how everyone is doing and I reply back as much as I can. If you just want to vent and don't want a response, please let me know. I know not everyone wants to have a discussion about their check-in.

How was your week? What did you do? How are you feeling? Eat any good food? Did you treat yourself to anything?

One of my personal goals is to focus on self-care. I would love to hear if you had any accomplishments with that.

Feel free to share the good and the bad and we can all support each other. Enjoy your weekend!

I’m terrified of living alone. I’m afraid of myself and my mind. Perhaps I’m a bit dramatic.

Back in October 2023, 7 months ago. I was forced to take Invega Sustenna 256+154 mg injection. I now know that I was misdiagnosed and poorly treated at the hospital I was at. I had about every negative side effect in the book directly after injection. I was suicidal 24/7. I thought about giving up every single day. Physically fatigued, sleeping 12-16 hours a day, no sex drive, ED, infertile, no ejaculation. Insane brain fog, no imagination, hard to concentrate, no motivation, no emotions! couldn’t workout, gained 15lbs, digestion all messed up, couldn’t enjoy anything. Etc you get the point.

Since then, what a turn around. All of those side effects are gone. I don’t even think about Invega Sustenna anymore. Last week I ran a half marathon after training for a month. I’m in better physical shape now than ever. I workout almost twice everyday during the week. I’m motivated to accomplish goals, I can socialize and laugh and enjoy things now! I lost 11lbs went from 193lbs-182lbs since January. Sexual side effects are gone, (libido isn’t as high as used to be) but better! Brain fog finally went away. Sleep went back to normal. No longer suicidal. I’m strong, in the gym, working and going to college soon to become a firefighter.

Whoever is reading this, don’t be afraid to reach out. My dms are open. This didn’t happen overnight. I was destroyed and never thought I could improve. It felt like forever. It wasn’t until February where I started seeing improvements. But as the weeks and months go on I start to feel even better. I was in a very dark place. My hope is to save someone from that dark place that I once was in. It may feel like your stuck but trust me keep going and let time heal you. God bless.

Dating at my age is hard enough, but I'm always afraid of being rejected because of this disorder.

I haven’t told anyone my diagnosis of schizoaffective because I’m ashamed. I’ve been in denial for a while too, which has probably contributed..

I didn’t know I was schizoaffective. I randomly went into psychosis during a high-stress time and I was smoking mad weed. I was in psychosis for almost 2 years and was abandoned by my family and boyfriend. Nobody supported me. Everyone just left me to hallucinate and accuse people of doing awful things to me because of my delusions. Now I’m known as the “crazy” one and everyone walks on egg shells around me.

Since coming out of psychosis, I was unable to hold a job because of my paranoia, hallucinations, and intense anxiety. I recently found a remote job that I’m grateful for. The only thing is, I am still paranoid and anxious, I’m just able to hide it.. I think. I’m constantly worrying if I seem normal or if my co-workers can tell that there’s something wrong with me. I’m constantly questioning if the sounds I’m hearing are real or not.

I can’t lose this job. If I do, it validates my biggest fear of not being able to work. I have to support myself somehow or my dog and I will end up homeless. I have nowhere to go. I’m so fucking scared and I’m trying so hard to pretend like I feel fine. I don’t, though. I feel like shit even though I’m medicated. How am I supposed to live with this diagnosis? How do I function?

Has anyone experienced something similar?

This is not me trying to get other diagnosis from redditors but I really fucking confused right now. My story is long so I will try to be brief.

I have, since a was 11 depressive states for longer than months, when I was 15 I got into witchcraft shit and got a several diagnosis, such as Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Never treated myself because was in another city my doctor and was annoying and stressful. I had a second opinion, without nothing of magic (because understood to be kinda afraid of doctor) and got bipolar disorder.

Last year I got a meltdown from the magic shit that I let behind, tired told my psychiatrist without nothing to lose and changed de diagnosis to schizo-affective disorder.

Tried a fluphenazine, ability, Seroquel, risperidone and getting tired of trying to figure out what wrong with me. The doctor think about clozapine and me too for a while.

Right now I'm in another country with my brother because I couldn't with past crisis and got a autism diagnosis but still with schizo-affective.

The first time I accepted because apparently I don't know a shit about myself. But with autism diagnosis got a different perspective.

The thing is a hear me out. I don't have hallucinations, not visual, I don't hear anything. Everything is in my head. I lost my mind, might be have deliriums but still in my own delirium know to recognize the real world from the left witchcraft world that haunt me. It's more like intrusive thoughts.

You are not psychiatrists but you have more common thing between yourself and I and the Autistic. Can you tell me as support group what is happening?

Thanks so much again to everyone who has felt able to participate in my research so far. I’m in the last stage of recruitment now if anybody is interested in taking part and may not have seen my previous posts:

Hi everyone 🙂. My name is Rachael Lester and I’m a Trainee Clinical Psychologist at the University of Liverpool. I have a longstanding passion and interest in supporting people who hear voices. Because of this, I am doing some research as part of my training to understand more about the development and experiences of voice-hearing, through a non-medical lens.

If you are a voice-hearer or know anybody who is, and may be interested and feel able to take part, you can access the online survey (including more information about the research) using this link: https://livpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6YJdfo9CxNMKdim

Participation is entirely voluntary and anonymous and takes approximately 30-45 minutes.

In the meantime, if you have any questions please feel free to contact me. Thank you so much for your time and support!

Rachael 🙂

(This research has been granted Ethical Approval via the University of Liverpool Ethics committee)

I’m still, my head it’s still hearing things, I’m talking to someone online. They’re telling me it’s not real, it sounds so real. I need to tell you what happened. I was out with my bestie, we met up with his friends. It was a nice evening, I hated the friends though for reasons I don’t was to disclose. Then one starred at me when I turned my back, it all fell apart. Reality just fucking warped!! See the over cast sky shifted in purple, it turned into a galaxy. It was big it’s scary.

In the middle of the planetoids was eyes big round eyes. Like snake eyes. The stars they repeated over and over. People aren’t real, they are/were mere agents of the cosmos. Tentacles formed in cracks, they hated how I knew I know. My name voices over and over. I’m crying. They had to leave, I upset my bestie. Why why! This always happens, I can’t control my mind it splinters and it ruins everything good. I’m on a train, I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know if anyone understands what I’m going through. I can’t FUCKING FEEL REALITY!! Help help!!! Why why I was at a low, they’re becoming more frequent I can’t stop them. It’s not months any more now it’s days help okay help please

Edited for elaboration.

After being honest about things with my psych doc, we're leaning towards schizoaffective rather than bipolar. I'm hoping to hear some personal experience if possible, since most things online are from an outsider perspective.

Something I've had the worst time trying to find out or see is what others in similar situations consider 'bad days'. Or rather, what is it that makes it a 'bad day'? What are you feeling?

Like, days where you have a hard time functioning, can't work, etc, not necessarily days where you're having a lot of positive symptoms.

I don't really know how to explain what I'm wondering, I'm sorry. Maybe something like 'is what makes my bad days bad something others experience, or am I just a lazy sack of shit' lol.

For me, bad days are days where I can't function, everything is so difficult, I'm very anxious / depressed, and I feel like all I can do is wallow in numbness. There's nothing 'wrong', no 'reason' necessarily, but I just can't do anything some days. I don't know why, but everything is just so difficult, so impossible, I am the immovable object.

To help clarify, because I think this is the kind of clarifying I'm looking for: I can't do any hygiene activities (teeth, shower, hair, laundry, housework etc), I can't do any hobbies or focus on anything long enough to engage (shows, youtube, games, reading, crafts), eating or drinking takes effort and I can't muster up enough so I go hungry and thirsty for a while, I can't remember anything even thoughts I was just having or things I'm in the middle of doing, I can't bring myself to move sometimes and just end up staring at the wall for hours sometimes trying to form a thought or initiate action of any kind. It feels like I don't care enough to do anything.

They're also growing in frequency and duration over time, and even when I try to do things now, it all seems like my mental fine motor skill is crumbling.

Is that what it's like for you?
Is it okay/not unexpected to have these days, or is it a me problem?

I am interested to learn what triggered this crappy illness for you. I'll share my story here but would love to hear more about how you all got here.

For me it was a combination of things insonmia, drug abuse, stress, isolation, cabin fever and the main factor was a very stressful and anxiety induscing life event which occured and dragged on for way too long.

The life event for me happened in the work place pre pandemic which caused me to snap and leave my job to get out of the toxic environment.

I worked in the tech industry at the time during the whole #metoo, #believeallwoman witch hunt. I had to fend off false allegations from a sociopath. It was ok at first since I could stand my ground but this dragged on for over 2 years and one false allegation just lead to another and another and it was relentless. I had all the facts and evidence on my side but I had a Director that was a male feminist that wanted to use the situation for virtual signal.

Being screamed at by narristic rage everyday while having your boss try to use the false allegation to virtual signal eventually lead to a public mobbing in person and then another online.

All this eventually led me to snap and make volient threats. Nearly pulled out a firearm to make it all stop but just left the environment to cause no harm and save my sanity.

The following years had me in a world of alcohole and drug abuse to ease to the PTSD. I eventually got to a point where I had insomnia and because of the pandemic I was isolated and lost my mind which led to psychosis and hearing voices in my head. Some voices were good some were bad.... the bad ones wanted revenge ... and these are my demons now.

I try to tell myself I did the right thing to not infliect volience but i sometimes do wish i did... False allegations leading to mobbings is wrong and I wish society would understand that.

Anyone have similair stories? How did your illness get triggered?

As im sitting here, reaching for my uranium yellow vile, I still don't understand what this medication does. I know it's popular for people with SZA, but I don't see the use on a micro level. Macroly speaking, I totally can see the use case and how it's made my life better as a whole. It's just a difficult when some people say "I've tried ""mental health meds,"" and it made my life worse". What's so difficult about that is the comparison. When I started out on my mental health journey I was a wreck. I'm doing great on a relatively low dose of this medication, and im just curious as I've never actually met someone else on this med. Who can actually explain what it is doing to the body/brain? What are long term effects? What are the actual mechanisms of action for Aripiprazole?

I am wondering if anyone uses this diabetes drug to counter the weight gain and cholesterol increase associated with Olanzapine or Clozapine, and what your experience is?

I do have mood swings, but they cycle way too fast to be Bipolar. I have been diagnosed with BPD before and I think it may be from that.

i am on lithium still get intense mood episodes

i am on clozapin and cariprazin still get psycotic symptoms

why is this happening, i sometime feel like i am faking it all because nothing seem to help. it is always the same thing - always.

i have an appoitment tmorrow with my psyciatrist. i am quit nervous cause what if he wants me back in a ward? i just want something like a med increase or a new med - I already tried so many - or a new kind of therapy.

i hate my brain so much at the moment

me and my old therapist had came to the conclusion that i was having psychosis. (always only around by high stress and anxiety meaning its the anxiety causing it no? cause when i have no anxiety+high stress i have no schizo symptoms)

i got diagnosed as schizoaffective by my psychiatrist working for the same company, however, when i google and stuff trying to understand my disorder and self it always says its (psychosis) either anxiety induced or schizophrenia induced (just in this context)

i thought schizoaffective was literally just bipolar and schizophrenia stuck together but if its not and just kinda saying a random mix of aspects of the two that you cant rly see them separate and for me specifically bipolar 1 with a little “schizo-ness” just not full seperate schizophrenia diagnosis bc its not schizophrenia its from anxiety then why not just diagnose me as bipolar with psychotic features? unless i have key schizophrenia features im not thinking abt or aware of?

just tryna understand the schizo part of schizo affective to understand how i can have that if my schzio stuff is induced by anxiety and stress not schizophrenia or if you can actually have both reasons be the cause for psychosis.

ive just never been chilling on a normal day and thought the hunters were outside or the monster man that i know exists but is not scientifically real in reality is trying to kill me and have symptoms its only with stress and anxiety that they come out and i actually have to be scared of them, or the other set of symptoms i have of psychosis when im “chillin” manic and start thinking the world has special meanings and shit and that ppl are playing a joke on me messing with me making me feel weird although the therapist ppl dont know abt that part yet

I listened to Neal Brennan on a podcast.

He was talking about exploring his spirituality through hardcore hallucinogens.

Talking about how the door got stuck open in his brain.

Basically his whole story of the last few years, is like the early years of my schizoaffective setting in.

Like bro, you are literally giving yourself schizophrenia because it's the only way you can find belief in God.

And I'm not even worried about him. Cause he's rich and famous. More than likely nothing in his life is gonna trigger him to go full on schizophrenic as he has no money worries and he's free to just be comfortable in psychosis. As I was for many years.

But I wonder about his influence on others. His influence on young people. His influence on people who have to work. His influence on people who may already be prone to mental illness.

You're breaking your brain and you soul. And encouraging others to do so.

I'm glad you believe in God now Neal, but people don't need to induce schizophrenia to come to that same conclusion.

And yeah. I think all drugs should be legal. I think they have a purpose. But listening to him was like my age 20-24 leading up to my first real psychosis.

TLDR my psych won’t switch my sleep meds to try another. I’m dependent on Benadryl in the interim. I’ve been waiting 7 months and asking every time because I want to not have the temptation of Benadryl in my house anymore. I have to keep it around for sleep or else sleep don’t happen. It’s such a damaging drug.

….

I’ve been asking for a different sleep med since September because I started having to supplement with 50mg-100mg of Benadryl to actually sleep.

When I was a teen I used to take a lot of it as self harm. I didn’t think I’d have that issue again.

But, my tolerance kept getting higher and I wanted to feel sedated to distract from stress. My grandmother had died a couple months previous and I relapsed in a lot of things.

Then I suppose some form of addiction started with it.

Things have been off and on, but the past two weeks, I ’ve been taking it daily, even nights before work, and it’s usually 700mg-1g.

It’s escalated so bad that I took a smaller amount at work. I don’t understand how it’s that addictive but my heart has been struggling with it. One morning I was at work and it hadn’t worn off; hadn’t done anything strenuous as it was the beginning of the day but my heart was going 150bpm and I was having skipped beats. Today wasn’t as high but it wasn’t great, in 130s

I do NOT want to lose my job, I love it so damn much. I would’ve been in the hospital already if I wouldn’t have been missing work.

And my birthday is in a couple days; really don’t want to be in an inpatient for that. And last time I went for the same reasons, they didn’t switch my sleep med at all either. So I went back home, kept the doses for sleep at 200mg or less. And it slowly crept up again.

I’m trying not to take more right now. My chest is sore. I’m scared I’m going to give myself a heart attack. I already have some weird issue where my base bpm is always hanging around just right above 100. Don’t know why.

I’m afraid I’m going to die and then at other times I’m hoping it will kill me. I told my spouse that if I don’t get help I am going to die. Asked him if he could help advocate for me since they don’t give a fuck what I think. I had to postpone my appt because of work and it’s in two more weeks now. I emailed and asked hey could my doc please go ahead and add a different sleep medicine so I no longer need to have Benadryl for sleep? I plan to throw it all away whenever I do but for now I’m still dependent.

They said they couldn’t until the appointment which yeah I get it, but its different when I’ve been asking for 7 months and they know im hurting my organs over and over constantly. I am trying so hard. Reaching out to support groups and hotlines and trying therapy and doing harm reduction when I could.

I feel like they’re being really negligent. Literally how hard is it to prescribe a new sleep med after 7 months of saying Trazadone isn’t working anymore, 7 months of hurting my body with Benadryl. Im scared to know what it’s done.

But I don’t want to switch psychs cos she’s the best one I’ve had. The bar is down below in the earth’s core because of one insane psych I had before her…

I’m going to go inpatient after my birthday I think.

Just really needed to vent. It’s not like I’m asking for benzos or crap like that, either. I feel like to my psych I’m some insane drug addict who keeps pestering her to give me more addictive drugs. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP WITHOUT HAVING TO USE BENADRYL.

Beyond at my limit.

I'm so upset right now. My psychiatrist quit working today without any warning and I was supposed to have an appointment with her in two days! I go to a large psychiatric care clinic where there are numerous psychiatrists on staff and I used to get bounced around between whomever was available that day. I finally found one that I clicked with a year ago and from that point on, I demanded to see her every time.

She was the one who was able to finally diagnose me correctly with schizoeffective disorder and has worked hard to help me find the right combination of medications. She actually listened to me and showed genuine compassion. She never rushed me out of her office or made me feel stupid. Thanks to her extensive knowledge, I'm finally on the right meds and the hallucinations and suicidal thoughts are gone!

I don't want to see a different doctor at that clinic! I've done so before and they always screw around with my meds because each psychiatrist has particular medications that they prefer to prescribe. None of them are on the same page with each other despite the fact that they are required to check the patients chart history. This means that I was often prescribed medications that did not mix well with each other and this made me very sick. When I tried to advocate for myself, I was ignored, belittled, and even once was threatened to be kicked out of the practice for non-compliance.

I've tried every other mental health care office in my area. They all suck. My insurance won't cover telehealth visits. I don't want to start from scratch with a new provider and go through the hell of explaining my entire mental health history. I'm crying just thinking about it. So many doctors roll their eyes when I tell them I have schizoeffective disorder. Most don't believe me and treat it like a fake diagnosis. I can't go off my meds but I also can't stand the thought of dealing with one more shitty doctor.

To top it off, I also found out that my former therapist from the same office got fired and put in jail because he threatened to sit outside the clinic and shoot every client that walked in! 😳😳😳 That has definitely rattled me as well.

(Side note: she quit the practice because the employees there at that office are treated like shit and even though she loves her patients, she decided it was best to move back to her home state and start over there.)

Hello, we are researchers at the University of Central Florida interested in how COVID-19 may have uniquely impacted individuals with schizophrenia. Interested individuals are encouraged to take this brief survey, during which you will be asked questions about whether or not you have ever had COVID-19, as well as the frequency with which you experience certain symptoms related to schizophrenia. This survey will take roughly 10-20 minutes to complete. Participation is voluntary and restricted to individuals 18 years of age or older. Click the survey link for more details.

https://ucf.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6xsAoE7OjuA8xEy

If you have questions, concerns, or complaints, please contact Dr. Benjamin Fry, Principal Investigator, Burnette School of Biomedical Sciences, University of Central Florida by email at Benjamin.fry@ucf.edu.

i always see people in here posting abt how this disorder ruins our lives and makes us unable to do normal things. this disorder has made my life incredibly hard. the last 4 years have been anything but easy, and i even attempted to kill myself in psychosis about 2 years ago. working towards a goal has always been something that motivates me, and it was nice feeling like i was apart of something !! i did online university which isn’t for everyone, but i was really scared about going to university in person bc new settings often trigger my hallucinations. it ended up being great for me tho and im so happy to be done :D now I have my bachelors of arts in psych and i have learned so much more abt my favorite topic as well as myself and helping others. i’m really proud of myself and this has been my biggest accomplishment :)

I’m gonna crop or block out usernames but not only am I curious to the answers, I wanted to make a little collage or slideshow out of responses because I don’t see much awareness for it and don’t know how to talk to friends about it.

I just want people to not feel like they have to walk on eggshells or like I’m gonna be crazy and unpredictable when I’m not but that I do need some support and consideration for symptoms too just like depressed people get…

Has anyone had an episode triggered by marijuana and nothing else? I never thought it would be an issue but lately my therapist and doc both warned that it can cause psychosis. I always thought the connection between weed and schizophrenia was more correlation than causation but i wanted y'alls opinions/experiences.

Does it work?

I get SSI and Im broke by the end of the month - i mostly pay for meds and groceries…

. I went out to eat twice and bought some nicotine mints so as not to smoke, and im outa money… fucking sucks cause i had to ask my parental unit for some groceries money… but its fucked up cause i feel like i just need 100$ more a month only to be broke by the end of the month.. im not saving at all

Im grateful for disability but life is sooo fucking expensive.

Has anyone just been diagnosed with psychotic disorder?

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective and depression. I only take an antipsychotic called Latuda. Because I didn’t feel good on antidepressants and felt they made my depression worse. But, I did notice on my antidepressant I didn’t feel the need to pull my hair. The Internet suggests talk therapy as another way to treat the hair pulling. Does anyone else have suggestions?