Okay, it all started 6 years when I first stumbled upon this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR1YcjfAddI then one of the Zero Hour episodes.

Notice in that MMD video there's High School Of The Dead and Terminator references/Easter eggs? That's what inspired me to start this mission making a Blender animation with this type of Easter egg(s). Vocaloid and anime characters - particularly my personal favourite cartoon and anime characters in place of the originals. This is all that was needed to set my dream of a parody video or Easter egg hunt involving my favorite fictional animated characters combined with existing media into motion.

But due to some power-happy mods/admins of certain websites who had no idea of this special mission of mine - as I was hiding it until it's complete (no spoilers), they had to act above and beyond and discipline me by either removing my posts regarding this question (E.G., "Where can I download this sound effect(s)?") or out-of-the-blue (perma)-banning me for "breaking the (site) rules"/"piracy efforts"!

Plus, it took me a whopping 8 years (as no keyword I used (at the time) yielded what I was expecting/requested for) just to determine/figure out it was Hollywood Edge, Hanna Barbera, Sound Ideas, etc., etc. that I had to refer to for the "common sound effects" we hear all the time in TV shows, movies, video games, and cartoons. This is a new realm of sound effects to me and now that I finally found it, I need a breather. But these mods/admins gave me anything but that.

Even the MMD community has rules to follow regarding downloading models others have "created" - those that were literally ripped from a video game. So to still respect the MMD model usage rules/be a law-biding citizen, I resorted to Blender as after watching a 3D remaster of Cars Community Service, I realized Blender is basically the entire package.

If you don't understand English, here's the simple version: I need help to streamline my 3D modelling process to obtain 3D models of things I’ll need for my Blender animation - with whatever strategy I can improvise. I need any readily available and already made 3D models for my Blender animation. I’m currently 28 years of age; I got this far in my life, but I’m not sure how much further I can go. But this is one case where I won’t accept “Too bad, so sad” that easily.

Whether it’s requesting for the thing for this game via the game dev team’s email by emailing them what you request for in the game and once they do make it for the game and upload it to their client and I update my copy of the game via patching, I then decompile the game from my end and presto. I obtain that game’s new model.

It’s faster to rip them from a game as they’re already made for that game.

Sadly, I have yet to find a high graphic Columbine High School in it’s original floor plan as a 3D model via any game. So I have to fall back to Plan B and make it via Blender. But that (learning to use Blender) takes time and I’m not that skilled at using Blender yet. So I have to seek help from someone who’s already an expert and fluent with using Blender or any other 3D modelling software to make it for me to streamline that process.

But some people have died earlier than anticipated like Terry Fox when he died of cancer at 22 and Wowaka when he died of heart failure at 31. So I’m not taking any chances and need to streamline the modelling process with any measure or strategy I can think up before I meet a similar early fate like they did.

Is that the way you want to go? To leave your fan base hanging in suspense for the rest of their lives while you head for your eternal place in the who-knows-where's? Every millisecond counts. - Especially for those who have a terminal illness and are literally living on borrowed time. Some of us must and will complete our goals no matter what obstacles we encounter/what gets in our way in any way possible. You really never know when your time is up. Age has no relation to when is the day you die; it could happen on any day and we need to get our goal done with whatever strategy we can whip up/improvise. I'm still bummed Wowaka missed out on the Project VOLTAGE collaboration with Miku.

Wouldn't you feel bummed if your family member or friend or relative died too soon if you were this close to letting them see something you made? So via the game dev's email and requests forum, I request for the said model, but make sure it's somehow related to the game's gameplay or storyline.

This is the strategy: get a game dev company to make the models for me, but via for the video game. That way, once it's released to the public, I work my magic from there and decompile the game for the said 3D model. Thanks to Payday 2 and it's Bundle Modder and Diesel Tool programs, it dramatically cuts down the amount of time I need to remodel the stuff I need for my Blender movie from scratch.

Plus, I can't just think about myself, I gotta think about others too. So I thought "What if everyone would enjoy my weapons and stuff in the said video game?" But since I don't work for the game dev company, I might as well write to them my request list of things to implement into the game via their email. Now that I submitted my ideas for their games, all I have to do is wait til they make it now while I finish up some unfinished personal matters on my end.

Columbine High School is going to play an important role in my Class of 1999 (starring Bradley Gregg) parody movie. But so many people are reluctant to help me due to this school building.

And also, you can’t imagine the heartache I endured while trying to seek assistance in searching for sound effects. They treated me like I’m some felon trying to “pirate” sound effects. So after 3 months of wasted time on my sound effects search quest, the least I can do right now is make up for that wasted time. 

Finally, this is the whole reason Alvin Earthworm discontinued Super Mario Bros Z: "Us: HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT EPISODE ALREADY!", his project was merely intended to be a hobby. So to avoid comments like that, I'm going to finish my animations FIRST, then upload them later. So you can see what happens at the end before you pass away early.

So yes, is there anything wrong with thinking/planning ahead of YOURSELF as well as thinking about others before you do the same (stupid) thing they did? I even did my due diligence and stumbled upon things like this: Run Hide Fight (Isabel May). They clearly did their planning, due diligence, and studies before publishing this movie. So therefore, as long as I follow the same procedure, I should be able to publish my Blender vocaloid parody video while offending as little to no people in the process. I'm going to make a Class of 1999 (Bradley Gregg) parody video that involves several of the Zero Hour episodes mixed together as Easter eggs along with my favorite characters and things taking place of the original characters and props - while in the process, making a few changes to the story line.

Okay, try to think of this like the Chowder episode "Banned from the Stand" where Gazpacho torments Mung by constantly banning him from every stand in the market after he failed to say Gazpacho is right about floss berries due to the "Code of the Fruit Vendors".

Are some of these people completely out of their mind?!?! They can view your activity via your reddit profile and that's what sets them into "cuckoo" mode. Are some people that willing to demand that an individual ceases and desists what they're currently doing as... a... WHOLE?!?! Even if that individual decides to try and succeed on their mission ELSEWHERE?! By tormenting them by following them on what they're currently trying to accomplish? What do they all of a sudden have against that individual?

Didn't some of these people ever learn the most important lesson of life: "If at first you don't succeed, try try again (somewhere else)!"? That's exactly what that individual is trying to do on their mission! But they demand that individual ceases and desists what they're currently doing as... a... WHOLE because what they're trying to accomplish is "illegal"!

Here's what I posted on r/Filmmakers

Before you make any smart remarks, let me explain this carefully and please view this from the autism spectrum - I'm autistic.

Even though my Blender-made movie contains explosions and shootings taking place within a school - not to mention some murdering of some characters, it's merely special effects, makeups, etc.

I'm referring to this as my source of inspiration: Class of 1999 starring Bradley Gregg. Although the year of this movie is somewhat ironic to Columbine Massacre, it's in absolutely no way related to Columbine. Even though there are explosions and shootings taking place within a school - not to mention some murdering of students via robotic teachers (you could see blood oozing out of one guy's mouth at one point), it's all actors and mere special effects makeups.

But this is where it gets complicated: the reason I need a school like Columbine High for part of the setting is because of the overall size and shape of the school. It's quite roomy inside, thereby allowing me to perform stunts that require alot of space to execute the stunt safely. Like super jumping to overhead pipes in the corridors, leaping off of the pipes, and somersaulting in mid air. If you watch Class of 1999 (Bradley Gregg), then you can see they rode motorcycles in the school during the climax. But there's hardly any space for those hundreds of motorcycles to safely maneuver around the school's corridors and staircases. Plus, the Kennedy High School in the movie; even though it looks like a futuristic prison with prison fencing, barb wire, futuristic CCTV cameras, etc, it's exterior shape is a mere rectangle building, while Columbine High somewhat resembles a fortress or a small university campus. And I can't seem to find any other school that looks "fortress-style" than Columbine High that have not had any past or recent shootings.

But here's the good part: I'm going to use Thesaurus to rename the entire school. There must be another substitute word for "school" in the Thesaurus along with finding another thing to name the school after. In addition to that, I'll paint the exterior a different color and add futuristic cosmetics, furniture, appliances, etc to the exterior and interior.

Speaking of irony, Columbine High School got it's name from the Columbine Flower. Which is toxic to humans. So I can see why people loath this massacre more than 9/11.

I got permanently banned for "breaking the sub's rules". What do I mean by that?

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When I tried to ask why I got such a severe punishment or what rule it even broke, this was their reply: a mute from talking to them - TWICE! When I tried a third time, their answer was: "stop messaging us" and then yet another 28 day mute!

What did I ever do to deserve such a harsh punishment???

This is my first time using reddit and by doing this—typing all this shit down in here—I feel like I could at least feel less burdened.

I don't know how to start because my mind is a mess right now, so basically:

I am genuinely in love with studying and writing in general (this doesn't necessarily make me an exemplary student tho), however I am currently failing in my academic duties. I have not submitted a single assessment this year nor have I really worked on what I personally wanted to do with my undergrad thesis, and the only thing I do is answer my professors' exams.

I am also the current Editor-in-chief of our college's publication. A leadership position I am unfortunately failing at. I have made so many narrow-minded decisions, and I feel like I should stop my clownery act and resign already despite my deepest wishes not to.

I blame everything on my own laziness, stupidity, and some of my other unresolved issues, some of which I couldn't even identify.

Regarding my academic life: I just can't find the drive to simply START my assessments immediately to thr point that I just forget about them and not submit. It seems that I just keep on procrastinating—putting everything off to the side. However, when I do get to start answering an assessment: I just enjoy constructing every single sentence, and if we are given the freedom to add designs, then it's all the better. But with just a few hours in, I just stop. I get mind-blocked. And as aforementioned: I do every other thing besides that assessment until I just forget about it and end up without anything to submit.

It sounds stupid, but it's something I've been deeply struggling with for a whole year now. It's unfortunate as well, since we now have professors who actually care for the things we do, read the shit we submit and gives helpful comments on them.

I am currently trying to catch up with the heap of shit I got to submit.

As for my publication life: I've had the great opportunity to meet great people from every other program/course from both the lower and higher years. Some of those people are now members and officers of the publication, and most of the people I have met are simply, amazing, not for just putting up with my shit and by being kind and open-minded, but for also giving the publication a chance.

I love the publication and the members and officers we have, and I could probably say that I mostly abide by its motto about the truth, but no matter how much I love—how I feel about this publication, I am pretty sure I am currently bringing it more harm than good.

We have a system wherein we would timely post campus events we were requested to cover, but I haven't been able to keep up. I also don't think about asking anybody to post it on our page since I feel like they might be busy. This is especially harmful since my members took photos for those events, and I feel like I'm making them and their efforts feel exploited and unrecognized.

Speaking of our page, it has been so inactive to the point where the presence of the publication is non-existent.

A brand new non-official organization was established recently. They act similar to the publication in many ways, but we don't exactly compete with each other, however we indirectly do due to the vision we share. Most of my members have migrated and my officers have been scouted by that organization due to how the current leader runs things (which I look up to him for) and how thry have more creativr freedom and it has made me feel unneeded and more useless, but that's not their fault.

I've also recently felt so overwhelmed to the point where I've felt like I wanted to vomit everytime I woke up or even think about the publication. Our "Head" for our publication is also pretty much a mess and is someone who I would like to partly blame for the way I am concurrently due to her demeaning and irrational actions and treatment towards me, my officers, and the student leaders she manages directly.

As for my narrow-minded, tunnel-vision decisions, they are so bad to the point I simply want to disappear instead. In fact, I've been deeply considering about ending my life because of how I've fucked up what I envisioned for myself and how they've been affecting the people around me.

First off Family discord is common, but it my mother has inadvertently encouraged my youngest sibling to call the police too frequently. Apologies for the paragraphs; they are intended to provide different perspectives.

The oldest He has been jailed several times for minor incidents, a habit reinforced by my mother's approach. He's not without fault, but it's important they realize the consequences of their actions. After being evicted, I supported him in living independently, hoping distance might facilitate healing. He had a temporary protective order (TPO) against him for an incident I wasn't present for, which my mother expedited to remove him from the house. He moved to Virginia and faced hardships but managed. Later, he requested to return home for two months to stabilize himself. the youngest child has issues with all his siblings

The oldest child reason for anger:

Upon his return, while showering in my bathroom, the youngest called the police. We were in the process of lifting the TPO, but he arrived sooner than planned. The police removed him from the shower, leaving him distraught, having just overcome homelessness. Realizing his mistake, he attempted to have the police return him, not understanding the legal system, resulting in financial strain from legal expenses.

The youngest child history:
The youngest also bought a project car for $4,000. I implored my mother to step in during the transaction as he was stubborn and in need of parental guidance. She refused, asserting that he had made his choice, fully aware it was a fixer-upper. I warned that now was not the best time; we might lose the house. "If you can't fix that car within two weeks, you're in trouble; if you can, you're still in trouble and homeless," I said. I'm not a mechanic, but I repair my own car and know that fixing one issue often leads to discovering another. Despite my warnings, he proceeded with the purchase. As we faced losing the house due to his errors, he had $4,000, which would have been fine if the car worked. When my car broke down, he offered to help me instead of paying the internet bill. My best friend assisted me, so I told him to help mom with the bills; I was managing on my own. Later, I discovered he never assisted her, allowing the bill to accumulate to $1,000. He traded the project car for a Honda that badly needed an alignment and possibly a CV axle. He disregarded my cautions; I was blunt about the risks. He had never driven before, and his initial attempts were poor. I starkly told him he could die if he drove in that condition. Yet, he ignored the warning again. One morning, I awoke to police at the door; he had somehow hit two parked cars, front and back, and attempted to flee. Exhausted from trying to guide him, I told the officers they could take him. In summary, within a year, we lost the house due to his series of blunders, and we bailed the oldest child out of jail.

Presently, there was an altercation, and the oldest threatened to harm him. Mostly responding to my mother trying to make them get alone and forget his past. My sister and mother seem unable to grasp the full extent of his frustration. The youngest child basically ruined lives and did nothing to repair it he doesn't help with probation he doesn't help with lawyer fee's & I think I tried my best. So of course he says he will never be cool with him.

My best friend has offered me a place to live to escape the turmoil. I want to stay because I love my family and wish to help, but my sacrifices have cost me dearly, leaving my credit in ruins.

Two years ago my brother got engaged to his now wife, my sister got engaged to her now husband - their partners are both great people and well loved by all of us. We are all in our 30s, I’m the middle child and haven’t had that many LTR, I’ve not had one for about 4years now, lots of short lived flings or ‘seeing’ guys where the guys in question see me as punching above my weight, I haven’t even tried anything romantic since October. If I’m honest I doubt I even do dating right. The only guys now pursuing me are two guys who have been a bit dismissive of me in the past, I don’t want anything to happen with these and haven’t alluded to anything.

I feel like the odd one out - I’m alone!- and I know deep down I feel the pity of me being the odd one out. And I suppose it’s kind of hit this weekend because they’ve all met up for the weekend - and to be fair it looks like a good weekend. Again very pleased for them but I just look down on myself. My parents are quite traditional and although they’ve not mentioned it recently, they expected me to be married by now. I did too but I mess everything up I’m so alone I don’t want to tell anyone. I’ve switched off from dating apps and I have no desire to get back out there but I also just feel really sad. I have a small group of close friends but it’s not the same as the companionship they have - and I love that they have that. I don’t know what I’m looking to achieve in writing this because I won’t tell my family (as I said I’m in my 30s; they have no obligation to me, they will have their own families soon. I don’t want any further pity or being a burden on anyone but I’m just such a pathetic person and have sort of given up on myself enough that I don’t want to. Part of me can’t be bothered, I can’t make anything work and haven’t even got as far as expressing wanting an LTR with anyone since my last LTR My sister can’t bear the idea of me being at home by myself at Christmas so hasn’t made a family Christmas of her own but I know it’s coming - and so she should. I’ve considered taking my own life because I feel like a nuisance and I don’t see my life going anywhere. I feel judged by them and i judge myself.

I am currently in a rough spot in life, so I picked up some shifts at the local cabaret as a cocktail waitress (I would starve as a stripper, I dance like Lorraine from Seinfeld.) You would think that the other girls there would be happy that I don’t dance right? Instead, I get treated like crap and I get bullied. It’s simple psychology, people want what they can’t have. I have been propositioned by most of our regulars and Management to dance, and I won’t. I tend to make more money. I personally will not dance for anyone, even my boyfriend.. I’ll wear skimpy clothes and serve drinks but that’s it that’s all anyone will get from me, you can look, but you cannot touch, and I stand by that. So tonight I get called over by a group of gentlemen that are sitting with two dancers. I get their drink order including the girls. I go and wait for my drinks and come back to the group. When I come back, one of the gentleman stands up and knocks my tray out of my hand on “accident.” Drinks go everywhere one of them ends up in his friends lap and I’m just embarrassed. I’m trying to clean up as fast as I can. Since I’m not wearing anything, just like all the other girls cocktailing, we always keep our wallet/money bag on our tray. I was just so focused on cleaning up the mess i didnt even pay attention to where my money went. I have most of the mess cleaned up and then I ask where my wallet is. I watch one of the dancers hand my wallet over to one of the gentleman in the group and he said “Here it is! I found it on the ground right here!” of course when I open it up It’s empty. So I asked him where did all of my money go? It didn’t fall on the ground empty, it was zipped closed. This guy gets defensive with me. He ended up calling my manager over saying that I accused him of being a thief and how horrible I am at my job. Both of the dancers are just sitting there laughing. I have to pay out at the end of the night for my drinks that I served so I am out $400 and my tips. My manager said he would watch the cameras, but he’s a scumbag and I know he’s not going to, but they’re going to take what I owe out of my paycheck which is my entire check for two weeks. The world is ugly and I subject myself to make ends meet just to get robbed by crappy people. I’m crying in the bathroom because I just worked for nothing. Last time I ever step foot in this cesspool again. Waiting on my friend to come with a T-shirt so I can walk out and just never look back. I don’t want to go into the locker room where I’ll probably get jumped. My lockers probably already empty too so why bother? I have a bouncer outside making sure I’m safe but holy hell, what kind of world do we live in?

I'm taking mathematics this semester, and it's taking a toll on me. On the first test, I got a 68, which is the worst grade I've ever gotten. This exam was a bunch of basics that I didn't know very well, even though I studied. On the second exam, the topic was more understandable for me, and I studied a lot. I filled out a small notebook with practice and got a nearly perfect grade. The most you could get was 110, and I got 103. I felt relieved, but it wasn't perfect.

On the third exam, it was way harder. The teacher missed a few days of class and due to problems with electricity at the university we didn't have class for a few days.He did an online class and finished telling us what the material was going to be for the exam. He didn't give us any class for three classes prior to the exam. What he did was two classes prior, he said we would ask questions. I asked if he could answer the exam things he sent so we could practice the problems the same way he does them. He said, "Well, you need to give me something in return and said something along the lines of do a problem, and I'll do a problem." He proceeded to make everyone do problems on the chalkboard and only indicated if they were correct. He gave minor advice like we should be writing more steps. This frustrated me because I needed to know how he did these processes. I genuinely think he did not explain these topics well.

I filled out a half-thick notebook with practice. I looked up the book, did his practice tests, completed practice quizzes, watched Khan Academy videos, and did Khan Academy practice. I studied every chance I got, practicing from 5 am until 4 pm on the day of the exam and of course every day prior to it. I blanked out on the exam. I knew some basics, but for most questions, I didn't know how to finish the process. Im sure this will be the word grade.

I know it was a mixture of putting too much pressure on myself, not simulating practice with test sheets, and not having much guidance from the teacher. I completed the exam in 50 minutes, realizing that more than half of my answers were incorrect. I stared at it for the remaining 40 minutes hoping i would get some clarity, but nothing came to mind. After time was up, I spoke to him. I was upset and on the verge of crying. I told him I had studied and asked for tips. He told me to make exam sheets. After leaving, I had to compose myself from crying because i was with someone. I kept having dark thoughts. I tried my best, attended every single class, copied everything he wrote, studied all the concepts, and still did so badly on the exam. I love math, and it hurts so much when I fail like this. I place too much value on my academics and need to detach it from my self-worth. Clearly it's not just about an exam, but it really breaks my heart when I try my best and still fail. Most of the class has dropped out or stopped attending altogether. Theres a girl in my class that works and also understands all of the concepts and I don't know how she does it. Most of the class has dropped this class or stopped going altogether. I woke up with no air in my chest, heart palpitations, and in no mood to do absolutely anything.

TL;DR: I struggled with math this semester, getting a 68 on the first test, 103 on the second and im pretty sure the third one will be my worst grade, Despite all of my studying, I blanked out during the exam and nearly broke down afterward.

I am in college studying law . Recently through one of my friends acquaintance I came across with gambling. At first I won a lot and it went like 10lacs in winning. I live away from home in hostel to study law. As I won I went for expensive clubs and party hard. I won like 90% of them and lived happily everyone called me the gambling king. I recently started taking bigger bets in order to get huge prize. I am student and I lost all my money. Should I tell my parents about it? Can anyone help? I also stole some money from my father's bank account. What shall I do now? I have no money now and also emptied my dad's bank account . I've been a bad person now. I have to pay college fees what shall I do now?

Living as a gay man in a conservative Middle Eastern community isn’t easy, especially when you’re figuring out who you are. At 17, I was full of questions about my identity and needed someone who got it. That’s when I met a friend who was maybe facing the same struggles. We clicked, and it felt like we were on the same wavelength.

Things escalated quickly with my friend, and one day, we just kissed. It was unexpected, no words needed. I asked if he was out to anyone else, and he said it was his first time too.

But within weeks, it felt like the whole school was in on my secret. The bullying started, and it was brutal, especially with finals around the corner. I had big plans for my future, and I wasn’t going to let this stop me. So, I shook off the noise and hit the books hard.

Post-exams, I had to make a tough call and cut off my BF. He lied, kept secrets, and wouldn’t clear the air. Even my friends were like, “You’re not the type to get into trouble,” but they didn’t give me the full story either. Trust became a rare commodity, and I started doubting everyone.

University was my chance to hit the reset button. I was ready for a new chapter, but the past had left its mark—I was more vulnerable and insecure than ever.

Fast forward to 2019, end of my second year in uni, my ex hit me up. He said he missed me and needed help with English. I was still not over him, so I agreed to help. We met up at his place to study, but things took a turn, and we ended up getting intimate. It was my first time, and honestly, it left me feeling all kinds of confused. We saw each other a couple more times that month, but then I pulled away again because he refused all my attempts to talk about us and what's going on between us.

That summer, I chose work over summer classes. We were in the middle of a family financial crisis, and I wanted to do my part. It was a rough patch, not just because of the money stress, but also because I felt out of touch with what was happening with others and  what challenges were coming my way.

By the end of 2019, in my third year, I noticed a shift. People were treating me differently, calling me names, and some even tried to take advantage of me. It was a tough time, and I felt harassed and alone.

Then, I found out a screenshot of a private conversation had been leaked. My ex, who I thought I could trust, had shared it with a group he was part of. They knew everything about me, and I was kept in the dark. One of them, driven by spite, decided to spread rumors because I was doing well academically. It was a betrayal that hit hard, especially since one of the group members had pretended to be a friend since my first year.

The betrayal left me with zero trust in others. I felt judged just for being me, and the violation was so deep it was hard to believe. Paranoia crept in, and I started to close off from the world, turning into an introvert with no interest in making friends or pursuing relationships.

As 2020 rolled in with the pandemic, isolation became the norm. For me, it was a double-edged sword. It meant hiding away from the world without confronting my past or healing. I was lost, with no motivation and no one to talk to about everything that had happened.

In 2021, I found a new job and threw myself into it. Work became my escape, turning me into a workaholic, avoiding the issues I hadn’t dealt with.

Graduating in 2022, I was running on empty. Architecture school had taken its toll, and I crossed the finish line of graduation just barely. Post-grad life hit me hard. I was adrift, without close friends or anyone to confide in. Questions about my identity and my past left me feeling stuck, with no clear direction.

I gave journaling a shot and tried meeting new folks, but it didn’t do much for me. So, I started digging into what went down in 2019. Fast forward to 2023, I bumped into someone who casually mentioned being wronged by his competitive boyfriend. This guy was from my school, and as he talked, the pieces fell into place. It turns out he was behind the rumors about me in 2017 and 2019. Realizing this truth hit me hard, snapping me out of denial and forcing me to face reality.

The past six years came crashing down on me, leading to a mental breakdown. Now at 24, I’ve embraced who I am, but there’s this nagging feeling of lost time. I long for the days when I could’ve freely explored life and made friends like I would have at 18 or 19. This void in my life is overwhelming. Some days, it feels like too much to bear. Coming to terms with everything I’ve endured feels surreal, and I’m still learning how to cope with it all.

Hey long story short I really need someone in my life who will be there for me and listen to me, I’m tired of bottling my feelings in because of guilt, and on top of that I have no one to talk to :/ so if ur down please call me and maybe we can chat or something, I really need someone to call…

Dsc0rd: emovampyy

Pt. 2 see previous post for part 1

The court ordered about 9 weeks ago that I stay with my dad I guess to force me to go to that religious school. It is hell living here. Since I have been at my dad's I haven't been eating as much and just staying in my room almost all day mostly only going out for the bathroom and sometimes food.

My first few days here my mom came over with my siblings to visit with me at the mall for a few hours. While we were out my dad called the cops and reported a child abduction. The police then called my mom and my lawyer was texting me and we explained what was happening and everyone seemed to quickly understand what was actually going on and that my dad lied about everything.

When i came back later that day my dad had gotten a restraining order on my mom from the court in New Jersey where he lives. He then tried convincing me that it meant I could have no contact with my mom on the phone or online either and that I had to give him my phone even the the restraining order said nothing about no texting or calling. We even asked the police and they said it didn’t mean that-that I did have the right to talk to my mom. My mom got a court date to appeal the restraining order and after hearing what actually happened the judge removed the restraining order seeing that again my dad lied.

After going back to my dad's house after that visit with my mom 2 months ago I saw my dad took everything I left behind which included some snacks my laptop and my chargers. Since then I had not felt comfortable leaving any of my stuff in my room alone and always take a bag with my most important stuff when I leave my room or go for a walk every now and then. Mybdad keeps ulocking my door and entering without my permission. This means he can also take my stuff while i sleep so I worry and can't sleep. For the first time i started having nightmares of him hurting me.

My dad then got a social worker to come and get me to go to school and get me used to living there. I made it very clear to my dad my lawyer and the social worker that i will not be bargaining as I have made deals with my dad in the past amd he broke all his promises. Now I am going to try and get what I really want. I want a normal school and to get out of this terrible place.

The social worker convinced my dad to give me all my stuff back so that I could learn online. Eventually he did so I can talk to my friends online again.

I still do not trust my dad and take a bag with my most important things with me whenever I leave my room to go to the bathroom or anywhere. Before I was ever in this house I never felt such major amounts of stress to the point of almost a panic attack and having trouble sleeping. Once he gave me my stuff back it got a bit easier but I still have waves of major amounts of stress and a lot harder time sleeping because of fear he will come in while I’m sleeping and take everything I have that lets me have contact with my mom and siblings.

He also constantly barges into my room just to bother me and I recorded him telling me he is trying to take me away from my mom. He keeps saying my mom abandoned me. And also that he doesnt let me leave because he knows she is planning to come abduct me. He also doesn’t let me visit any of my siblings because he thinks they will abduct me. The only thing he lets is that they visit me here in his house and we all stay in the house which none of them want to do. Because last time my sister came over he got physically violent grapped her and almost pushed her down the stairs when all she was doing was dropping off some stuff for me. My brother came a few weeks ago to support me, another sister came once also but but our dad made it so uncomfortable even being in the same house as him they don't want to come back.

Since then I have not seen any of my siblings or mom in person because of the amount of stress I get just thinking about what my dad might do like calling the cops or even getting physical after what happened with my sister. He is still trying to have the court put my mom in prison and cancel my phone service so I won't have contact with anyone since he now sees that he won't be able to take it from me forcefully.

I left most of my things even the new kitten I got for myself at my mom's. I had no idea I would be trapped here or be forced to stay this long.

Two days ago my dad wrote to court about his plan to have a mental health transport forcibly take me away to some wilderness mental place in Utah for 3 months and asked that my mom not be able to have any contact with me or that place. He wrote the transport was supposed to happen on April 16th. His new wife and kids left yesterday to the airport for some Florida vacation. My dad's been super irritable and angry probably because he thought I would be gone and he would already be in Florida with them by today.

I am terrified he is still planning to have them come take me away.

I don't understand why the only person who has ever taken care of me and got me into a school for 8th grade and made progress with me is the one facing prison even though my dad the one who took me out of a good school and is doing exactly what he wants to put my mom in jail for is facing no consequences? Makes no sense to me. It is currently Wednesday April 17 2024 and I have not been in school for months. What do you think I should do about all this?

In the last 2 months since a judge forced me to stay at my dad's house, he called the police on me and my 18 year old brother at 7:30 in the morning and told them to arrest him. He also physically assaulted my older sister and almost threw her down some concrete stairs. Yesterday was the worst though. He called some company that takes people away to mental facilities against their will. I am lucky to have found out about it but I am worried he will not stop till he gets total control over me.

For some context my parents started the process for divorce 4 years ago during COVID quarantine. After three months they moved into separate houses my dad in the suburbs and my mom stayed in the city where me and my 4 siblings all grew up. Me and all my siblings decided to stay with our mom in the city besides my oldest sister who moved out.

I was in a school in the city that i did not want to go to anymore because it required me to follow a religion i didn’t want to follow. My mom was very supportive in all this and did all she could to get me in another school. My dad on the other hand did all he could to control me in any way he could. And it took about a month of me not being in school for 6th grade for us to come to an agreement on a new school for me.

My dad found a school near him that I agreed to look at. The school was also a religious school but not as strict as others that ended the day at 5pm and also had school on Sundays. The new school had subjects I was interested in and overall seemed good. I told my dad I would agree to go to the school if I could continue to live with my mom full time and he would drive me from my mom's to school and back every day and that I could come over to his house freely whenever I felt I wanted to. There were other conditions that are not as fresh in my mind since those two were my main concerns. He agreed to my conditions in front of me my mom and the school principal.

For the first week at the new school in October I decided to stay at his house just to get used to the school and everything but when the end of the week came and I said I wanted to go back to my mom's he said “I don’t think that's gonna happen buddy." I was so mad but at the time I didn’t understand his strategy as well as I do now. My dad then told the court I was enjoying his house and I had no problem being there so the court made a schedule that I had to stay with him during the week and my mom's on weekends.

So for the first year of being in that school for 6th grade I barely understood what was happening or what this would mean for my future years.

That summer I started realizing what my dad was trying to do, to take over custody of me until I’m 18 so he could force me to be a religious fantic like him. I spent most of my summer with my mom, staying away from my dad. 7th grade and the summer after I would tell my dad that I didn't want to go to the religious school anymore. He wouldn’t listen and completely ignored me by saying “I understand" and "we can talk about it.” But we never talked about it unless I brought it up.

When I brought it up he tried to convince me my mom is brainwashing me. When 7th grade started I was already seeing traits in the school which were the same reasons I left the school in the city. Throughout the year I would always tell my dad I didn’t want to go back to that religious school for 8th grade. He would ignore me and say the same things and yell over me when I tried speaking. When the summer came I didn’t go back to his house at all.

Even though my parents still aren't divorced, he married someone last summer. His new wife and four kids moved in with him. The judge didn't like that surprise and said it takes time for kids to adjust to new set-ups like that so she ordered that I didn't have to go back there unless I chose to. And I still choose NOT TO BE HERE at all! But that was the previous judge. The new judge forced me to be here 9 weeks ago.

So the day before the 1st day of 8th grade I again told my dad I will not be going back to the school. He then freaked out and said I cant bring this up the day before school starts as if I had never mentioned it before. Even though I had been saying I dont want to be in that school since that 1st week he wouldn’t take me back to my mom's after he promised he would. He has just been ignoring me and gaslighting me.

This year I told him I won't be going. By the end of September everyone knew I was just sitting at home refusing to go. The judge knew my lawyer my mom my dad all knew. Then my dad called child protective services on my mom which he has done multiple times for no reason and nobody at CPS did anything about me not being in school. My mom put me in a school walking distance from where we lived. The school was very nice, nice building, nice people overall very nice and I liked it.

Knowing my dad would not let me be in a non-religious school we didn't share the name for fear that my dad would take me out. The judge then told my mom she had to give the name of the school so she did. So after 3 weeks of me being in school learning and enjoying my dad called the school and had me unenrolled. Since then I have not been in school at all.

My dad has since then been trying to put my mom in prison and get full custody of me including making all decisions about my life. At the start they seemed willing to share time with me but now since my dad is making our lives terrible not me or my sisters or brother want anything to do with him.

See next post for part 2

I had to move to another country, leaving my direct family behind, to where my relatives by my dad's bloodline reside. Apart from the language barrier, I still feel like a total stranger to them, even after almost 1 year trying to communicate and get along. Also, for the first time in my life I experienced how gossiping feels behind my back; not very pleasant, but whatever. Thing is, I always had a more personal lifestyle, but now I consider even more keeping my thoughts to myself and choosing words carefully so as people wouldn't understand me wrong. I had tried approaching the younger generation of relatives, but I don't get much output either.

So that leaves me talking by phone with my family, which does get stale quick the more you do that regularly. Therefore, I'd like to try conversing with you guys/girls. Weather/hobbies/ideas anything will suffice.

Hello, so my best friends had already sometimes make me understand there were things maybe bothering her ? (She says it doesnt bother her but I fear that one day it gets worse) but she didn't want to talk about them to anyone I want to help her but she doesn't want someone to hear her and she doesn't want to write it down either (she said it would leave traces) I'm really lost about how to help and, in fact, she doesn't want that I help either but I just feel like it's the right thing to do

If anyone has an idea to help her I would be really grateful

I met a woman and we immediately hit it off that day. It's been 2 weeks since we meet and for the first part of that, we texted almost every day and even started talking on the phone every day. Sometimes for an hour, even 2 at a time. I asked her on a date, but she told me yes but her mom had to meet me first before we could.

Everything was going really well. She'd always call and text me first and we'd talk a lot. She was very open about sharing very personal things with me. She was talking about how she wants her extended family to meet me too.

Then she said "I love you" in the middle of a conversation. She tried to play it off as an accident but the way she said it really makes me think she meant it. I didn't say it back. I told her i really do like her as more then a friend and i care about her but i just don't think i'm comfortable saying that word.

I'm just not sure what to do cause we've went from 100 to 0 since then. She suddenly cancelled our scheduled date that morning before it (The i love you incident was the night before), she almost never texts me first and when i text her, it's just not the same enthusiasm (IE: takes awhile to answer), she might just be busy but i am afraid i might have just broke her heart and she doesn't want to be around me anymore. Which i genuinely don't want, i really do care about her.

Hi everyone,

I hope this makes sense, at least this post does because in my head it doesn't. The questions in this post are just the way I'm expressing my thoughts.

I've been restricting my calories for months, then binged for a few days and now I'm back to restricting but the calories are closer to a "normal" level I guess. And I took my first appointment with a therapist and got back into walking and exercising, and that's good right ? But then I've also been self-harming more than usual lately, can't bring myself to study for my finals that are in a few days and time has just been passing without me noticing. Am I doing alright ? What's going on, how do I feel more present in reality ? I don't feel like myself these days and instead everything I do and think is just me trying to cope with whatever is happening and I feel so lost and so disconnected from my family. I don't want to see anyone, don't want to speak.

That's all I have to say. Thank you if you're reading this, I'm so sorry the post is messy. I tried.

My fiance was hospitalized back in late January for the bulging discs in her spine, and was bounced around from hospital to skilled nursing facility and then back to a hospital for emergency surgery because she began to lose sensation in her lower body. Here we are months later and she was discharged from a terrific rehab facility last week because the insurance only approved it to a certain date and now she's back in a skilled nursing facility where they are not equipped to provide the near constant care that she requires and I'm coming to grips with the fact that she may never come home. The nursing facility is over half hour drive away and the grind of working, stopping home only for rest, and care for our cats and then drive back up to try and provide what support I can has worn me down pretty good, and that of course affects her. I mean to spend the rest of my life with her, and what I'm going through is nothing compared to the torturous existence that she's had to endure. However that doesn't mean this isn't a hardship for me and I'm having little ability lately to find a way to encourage her and keep my spirits up too. It's hard.

I'm happy I found a subreddit where I can talk about this. If this is not the correct sub, let me know.

So I'm a very sensitive person. When I read an article of something horrible that has happened, I feel so bad about it. I've often noticed people read some awful news and just go on with their day. I used to be like that as well, but not anymore.. It's so easy to lose faith in humanity by keeping track of everything that's happening in the world.

For example I am a big animal friend and I keep reading about animal abuse and I just can't wrap my head around the fact of what a twisted persons there have to be to do such things. It just really affects me that there are animals in pain right now and I can't help them. :( What also doesn't help is the very minimal sentences that are given to these people which is very frustrating. I have donated money to charities but I still feel awful about everything that's happening.

What is also upsetting to me are wars where innocent people get targeted. Only because of selfish leaders. When will people just live in peace and not want to take everything away from others? It's just so unfair.

I have a pretty good life, I have everything I basically need. But sometimes it's hard for me to enjoy it, when you know of everything that's meanwhile happening elsewhere in the world. There are so many things that makes me disappointed in humanity.

I'm sorry if this post is too pessimistic. I just wanted to see if there are others that think this way. I haven't found people in real life to talk about these things.

Hello! I was changing an account with a stock broker, buying a stock she didn't like. A long rant ensued, where some anti-semitic things were said. I've really liked this woman for 30 years. I think she's done a great job, but I can't seem to reconcile my negative feelings about this situation.

I found this subreddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/

It wouldn't be any worse if reddit allowed there to be a kiddie porn subreddit. Seriously. how are people punished for calling each other retards and using racial slurs when this stupid fucking shit stays up?

Hi!

First off, I'm not suicidal or anything like that. So no worries about that 😊

I have this inner drive that's constantly pushing me to be meaningful, to do some great thing, to better the life of all humanity. It's not a bad thing. It's just who I am. Without it I wouldn't be me. If someone tells me something cannot be done then I have to try to prove them wrong. Small challenges of life doesn't motivate me the slightest. Everything I do needs to be considered foolhardy or impossible.

I was just now driving home in my nice car from a great movie I went to see with my fantastic colleagues from a workplace I really love. I came home to my happy dog and my lovely girlfriend that I am lucky to have.

I should be happy? Or should I?

What is the purpose to my life? I work in digital, I do stuff design stuff, I got a high salary. But to what end? All I do is absolute bullshit. It doesn't steer the course of humanity. Nothing I do has any meaning to humanity or the universe. At best I'm a stepping stone for great humans who are stepping stones for a few handful of people who by sheer willpower and drive are able to change the course of humanity.

I'm nothing. Rubbish under someone's great boot.

Is that all life is?

Nothing in my life matters. Apart from my dog, my family and my girlfriend. Should I strive to make more money? Why? Should I set a great goal? Why, I won't accomplish anything even close to what the titans of humanity are able to do.

You see stories about people doing insane projects that seem impossible. Buying and renovating an ancient castle. Doing fantastic adventures ...etc... I could save money all my life and I would be able to afford maybe a garden shed when I'm old because the cost of living is so high.

Should I turn to religion, become a man of faith? That won't make the universe a better place.

Should I travel? Why? Everyone has already been everywhere. There is nothing I can do and nowhere I can go where people haven't already gone and done.

Thinking about this makes me long for a time where there were places to explore, amazing projects and mysteries to solve. But there is nothing left.

Is this just me having these questions or are these products of our time?

Thanks for listening.

I have recently passed all of my MEPS test and I am set to leave for basic this summer, but volunteered for Cardiologist students an have discovered I have bicuspid aortic valve regurgitation what do I do? I have never experienced anything wrong I workout 4 times a week , wrestle , and I am only 17.I could not post it in the army sub an I am just nervous about my future.

Hey all, So, there’s a girl who I (31 M) have met two or three times through the activist group that we’re a part of. She’s sweet, easy to talk to, and cute. We follow each other on Insta, but she’s not really active on there, so she said I could reach her through WhatsApp, since we’re in the same group chat. So, on Monday night, I finally grew a pair and sent her a message on WhatsApp saying “Hey, it’s _____ from last Tuesday. I’m at the _____ city council hearing on adopting ________. What are you up to?” Harmless enough, right?

No response.

Not even read.

I immediately started spiraling, and have been reeling from it for most of the past few days.

I’ve never had much luck with women, and at this point in my life, I’m starting to think that finding a partner who I like and who likes me back is simply never going to happen.

At the same time, though, I hate how my brain fantasizes about a person I’ve developed feelings for, and then spirals dramatically when it doesn’t look like things will work out.

I’m 31 years old. This cycle of thought is awful for my mental health, and it’s not a productive use of my time, yet it seems like it’s just going to keep repeating itself with every woman I develop feelings for until I’m dead.

Is there a way of inducing aromanticism, chemically or otherwise, so that I don’t feel romantic attraction to anybody anymore and I can just live my life? Obviously, I’m not exactly looking to lobotomize myself or turn into a 21st-Century Phineas Gage, but as I get older, each instance of unrequited feelings just takes a huge chunk out of me and makes me feel ten years older and more and more subhuman, so if this is all that love is, then I don’t want any part of it anymore.

I enjoy listening to Never Gonna Give You Up but every time I listen to it, all my friends constantly say I Rick Roll myself and I’ve loss all credibility, they believe every single time you listen to the song (radio, YouTube, Spotify, choosing to listen to it, etc) it’s a Rick Roll.

I get it’s a joke after all but I find it a stupid belief when Rick Rolling is a prank when you get linked something else, you click on link and it’s a Rick Roll. That’s what it is to me but my friend hate the song so much, they will always consider even listening to the song on radio a Rick Roll.

It’s a stupid thing that’s been bothering me but I’m curious, where do you stand on this? Is Rick Rolling……

A prank where you sent a link and say it’s something else?

Just listening to the song normally?

I'm trying to use my KRK speakers with my PC but am encountering disturbing noise.

Technical Details and Setup:

• Focused troubleshooting on one KRK RP5 RoKit Classic speaker to pinpoint the issue
• Motherboard: MAG B550 TOMAHAWK
• Cable used: the sssnake YPK2030
• Full PC specs: My PC Setup

In an attempt to identify the source of the noise, I connected the PC, display, and KRK speaker to the same power source, thereby ruling out ground loops as the cause. Ground loops can cause unwanted noises like humming due to differences in grounding potentials.

The remaining suspect for the noise is EMI (electromagnetic interference), caused by external electromagnetic fields that can disrupt the normal operation of electronic devices.

Given that my motherboard only has unbalanced 3.5mm jack outputs and the noise might already be introduced before it reaches the KRK speakers, a direct connection seems problematic.

Possible Solution: I am considering purchasing an external audio interface that connects to the PC via USB, which would carry the audio signal digitally to the interface. There, it would be converted into an analog signal by an internal DAC and then transmitted to the speakers through balanced outputs. This approach could allow the TRS cables to fully utilize their strengths and reduce the noise.

I would greatly appreciate any advice.

I don't know why I'm having anxiety when I see couples (though I'm not sure if they are actually in relationships or not) fighting. Few weeks ago, a couple in the car with windows down loudly arguing on a stop light. One was threatening to get out of car right on the street.

Today went to pick up food and on the same plaza, man and a woman physically fighting at an entrance of a store. Man was like pushing the woman down and her clothes got ripped showing her breasts. Looked very physically violent. I was just driving by so really not sure what I'm I supposed to do aside from just keep going.

There was a point in my life when fighting with someone felt like a torture. It was taking too much toll mentally and emotionally that I setup a space to avoid the fighting. It does help but of course not a permanent solution. So I don't know why it does really ruin my mood when I see one

Im truly worried it's currently 5 am and i don't think ill be able to go back to bed..I'm 19 and recently discovered this bump on my left testicle as well as swollen viens just a week before my dad got diagnosed with bladder cancer I have an appointment on monday but i cant stop thinking about it and it has made me constipated as well as making me pee more often i always thought I'd be getting married and live with my girlfriend so I've changed my diet been working on myself but this is killing me of anxiety so please if anyone has any advice on how to deal with that please let me know.

I recently got a ticket, and I take full responsibility for it, and I’m going to pay fuck it.

However, my car was in front of my house!!! Why do you all go down neighborhoods and bother people’s lives (I know it’s not you, it’s the job description)? Why did you, out of all the jobs in the fucking world, choose a job that intentionally makes people’s day worst (I know circumstances can make you accept jobs like this, completely understandable)?

Why the hell do we even have a fake system like this for a car anyway (US by the way)!? “ThE mOnEy Is UsEd FoR tHe StReEtS/iNfRaStRuCtURe,” even so, there has to be some other none intrusive way of going about it, there’s more to the money being used for the streets than meets the eye.

This is all to say, people with these jobs (besides cops) suck ass. I hope you all know it. Taking pictures of my car and shit, creepy hoes.

(Again, I know circumstances can lead people to accepting jobs like this and it’s not them, it’s the job description).

Guys bother me, who don't know what they want in their life or with me...