:/

I’ve been on a four day trip and haven’t seen him in a week and a half because we’re long distance. I have anxiety and was feeling insecure and asking for reassurance the night before I left. The distance has been really difficult for me. When we ended our conversation last night things seemed fine, we said I love you, all that. I didn’t hear from him this morning and thought he was coming to pick me up, only to find a text about how he wasn’t coming when the plane landed and I turned my phone back on. He said my insecurity is me being abusive and that he’s been too enabling with my anxiety, so he didn’t want to see me. I sobbed on the plane and was asked by two flight attendants and the pilot if I was okay as I was leaving. I was stranded and am currently staying at my friend’s house. I don’t think I can come back from this and I feel like he went with the nuclear option so he didn’t have to be the one to break up with me, although he claims to want to work through it. He has blown up at me like this several times before with no warning. Sometimes when I’m anxious he’s sweet and reassuring, but every once in a while something like this happens and this was the worst one yet. I haven’t felt this awful in years and now I want to throw away all the stupid tchotchkes I bought him on the trip. I feel abandoned. I hope things will feel better someday. We were supposed to move in together next month.

Hello I’m currently going through some pretty bad anxiety due to work. I have to help out with calls and I feel so dumb! I have a hard time to not feel anxious but I just cannot. It feels like I cannot control it.

Need someone to listen without judgment or advice? l'm here to help. You can talk to me about anything on your mind, whether it's relationships, work, hobbies, dreams, struggles, or successes. Don't suffer alone reach out today. Looking forward to hearing from you Soon.

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One day I was walking home from the store and this boy came up to me and he was really sweet I enjoyed talking to him. I knew what store he went into because he told me. He told me that I was really pretty and he asked for my number. I put my number in his phone and saved it as a contact with my name. I shouldve texted it, I was just in surprise because most boys are scared or shy to come up to me so it's something I am not used to. Before he left I told him the spelling of my name and that I saved my number as a contact. It's been days and he hasn't texted me I feel like I might've typed in a wrong digit or something because i was nervous/wasn't focused on typing it because of excitement. I don't want him to think I wasn't interested and just messed with him which sucks because he probably thinks that &. I really hope I encounter him again, I only know his name and about his background briefly. (His age, first name, where he applied for college) | really wish I could find him but it's hard because of the little information I have. I don't think it's impossible to find him because i'm pretty sure he lives locally and l've also seen his car. But I don’t know anymore 1 Share

I am heartbroken. I was really looking forward to the program and I had kinda built my future plans around the hope that I’d get into this program. I don’t know what to do now.

I've been telling people about this boy who's been harassing me. And following me. And saying sexual things. And none of them believed me because "You're not pretty enough for him to think that."

Except for my one professor, who promised me she'd believe me. "I can't report it without evidence but I believe you." That made my heart so full, until one day he wouldn't leave me alone from her class and I was afraid to walk back to my dorm alone with him so I said to her "Please help me stall" and she hid me in her office for half an hour until he stopped lingering at the door.

I thought she believed me. She had all the evidence, didn't she? Until today when she said "You're overthinking it, maybe he was just waiting to ask me a question." He wasn't though because I asked "Are you waiting to ask her a question?" and he said no. "Are you waiting for me?" Yes.

Why doesn't she believe me anymore? She was the one person I trusted the most.

Since the election I have been increasingly more fearful about the possibility of no having democracy in my country anymore. That there has been a fundamental shift into an oligarchy. Because the republicans have all 3 branches of government. It feels like all hope in this America is completely lost. Can someone explain why this would/wouldn’t or how this could/couldn’t happen.?

Need someone to listen without judgment or advice? l'm here to help. You can talk to me about anything on your mind, whether it's relationships, work, hobbies, dreams, struggles, or successes. Don't suffer alone reach out today. Looking forward to hearing from you Soon.

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Sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, it's never enough. I could work as hard as I can on something, only for my efforts to basically fly completely under the radar, meanwhile everyone else seems to get acknowledged for their work. On top of that, most people don't seem that interested in talking to me unless I talk to them first (and even then nine times out of ten it's just a simple greeting), yet with other people they're more than happy to start the conversation and keep it going for a while, therefore making me feel like I just don't exist or they just don't like me as much. I want to feel proud of where I am, but at the same time I can't help but feel like I come across as mediocre or something when put next to other people in the room. Every time I either see or hear things about what my friends and family are up to, at first I feel happy for them but at the same time it makes me realise how uninteresting and sad I seem to be. They've all got partners who love them unconditionally, meanwhile I've almost completely given up on love at this point since I'm convinced I'm undateable due to how boring I am, most of the time I spend my time alone since barely anyone shows any interest in hanging out, and on top of that, they all seem to have life figured out and know a load of skills while I just end up looking useless. I don't know how anyone manages to put up with me, and I wouldn't really blame them if they don't even think that much of me.

To start I've not really had much luck dating in the last few years; I had some trauma related stuff that held me back but since then I have moved out to a new area, my last official relationship was back in 2013.

I met someone through a friend that lived just down the road; everything clicked, we flirted a bunch and nearly got into a bootycall situation but I told her i liked her, which then developed into her coming round and admitting she did too so I scheduled a date that didn't happen, as she then felt like it was too much too soon so we just kept as friends. As i often stream on Twitch which she has just started doing I introduced her to my main friend group, as we look out for eachother and in all honesty they're lovely people that like her too, and we discussed openly in a private call that dating isn't off the table.

Then her previous situationship got back into the picture; she still had feelings for him so for the last 1.5 months they were on/off as for him he was avoiding seeing her. She had a issue with what she had in storage as a friend who had a shared storage unit screwed her over so she contacted him to help, she told me that it'll be the first time she's seen him in ages so wanted it to go well, and from what i know he told her that he doesn't want her in his life.

She went dead quiet even went to one of my main friends in the group crying over it (He's fairly similar to her but won't make a move as he knows how I feel) I only really knew about it the following week, where I confessed that I still had feelings, which yeah wasn't a good move as then she asked for us not to speak for a month to help me as she's going through the same feelings wise as him, but after a conversation lately we're not doing the month not talking as we both felt it was effecting the friendship.

So now the friendship is in a bit of a limbo, and because she's still part of the friend group in one way we're still in close contact, but I can't just cut her out my life and move on. She's working on herself now going to the gym often the same gym i go to, but now it feels.. awkward, I have mentioned two months ago that i do go to that gym but i don't think she remembers, and I feel like just walking in seeing her would make things iffy

She's an attractive girl and hasn't had issues finding guys, but for me she's one of the only people in so long I felt like i had a proper connection with. I'm pushing my feelings far back as like she said for the month break it isn't fair on me if nothing will happen, so I'll concentrate on rebuilding this friendship.

mmfb?

Alright, to start off with, im a Catholic. I believe in God, and i hope you do too, because theres a lot you can get out of it. But the thing about catholicism is theres people who obsess about the "end times" and the "3 days of darkness" the 3 days is where theres supposed to be demons roaming the earth, but theres no mention of it in the Bible. The day of judgememt has mention in the bible but theres people saying these are going to happeb in 2025.

Im terrified of it. I want to get the chance to meet the woman of my dreams, marry her, have kids with her, grandkids, a farm, the whole lot. but im also afraid that all of that wont ever happen if the day of judgement and the 3 days comes.

if anyone could help me, that'd be handy. thanks

Throwaway. I have stopped a long term usage of porn, a few weeks ago. I'm relatively young, I live with my parents. I've had mental issues in the past, involving depression and self-harm. Now I have been agonising over a particular genre of smut - so only written - that I used to use periodically.

Incest. Yes, it's fucked up. But, this isn't the whole story.

I want to establish now that I have no attraction to any of my family members, be it my parents or my brother. The thought disgusts me in the extreme, and I'm categorically against real-life incest, for reasons both biological and ethical. I'm also educated and fully aware that pornography is not reality, and not should it be - I take very great care to ensure it doesn't distort my views of healthy sexual relationships.

My usage was strictly limited to brother and sister - a relationship I do not have, I am one of two children - and similarly aged cousins, again, a relationship I do not have (bar one, who I rarely see and am most definitely not into).

I can't stop hating myself for this, feeling like a monster, like I'm not a good person and deserve to hurt. Please make me feel better. Thank you

Edit: I feel better now. Thank you to whichever kind soul made a report to Reddit's services, honestly I'm safe. I myself contacted my local protective services last night via text and am currently waiting on a response, so I can assure you I will be fine. Thank you all

I have stopped a long term usage of porn, a few weeks ago. I'm relatively young, I live with my parents. I've had mental issues in the past, involving depression and self-harm. Now I have been agonising over a particular genre of smut - so only written - that I used to use periodically.

Incest. Yes, it's fucked up. But, this isn't the whole story.

I want to establish now that I have no attraction to any of my family members, be it my parents or my brother. The thought disgusts me in the extreme, and I'm categorically against real-life incest, for reasons both biological and ethical. I'm also educated and fully aware that pornography is not reality, and not should it be - I take very great care to ensure it doesn't distort my views of healthy sexual relationships.

My usage was strictly limited to brother and sister - a relationship I do not have, I am one of two children - and similarly aged cousins, again, a relationship I do not have (bar one, who I rarely see and am most definitely not into).

I can't stop hating myself for this, feeling like a monster, like I'm not a good person and deserve to hurt. Please make me feel better. Thank you

I’ve had failed relationship after failed relationship.

I’m seeing this girl at the moment and she’s so lovely, so sweet, so pretty, smart, caring, all that. But after reflecting on how I’ve felt before, I’ve realised that how my ex treated me (she’s the only person I officially dated), I always feel like if someone doesn’t response soon enough in a romantic setting that they’re with someone else they want a romantic relationship with. Which is so stupid, since I know that isn’t the case. But, things my ex did make me feel like that must be the case.

I don’t want to mess up again. I hate having every relationship end the same way because I always think they could be with someone better for them. I’m confident in myself, but when it comes to relationships i immediately think I’m not enough.

I just want to love someone without heartache, and to be able to give them my all.

It hurts.

I’ve always been smart through my life. Definitely struggled with depression and anxiety. When I went to uni everything went to shit basically. I mean I had a lot of fun. But also a lot of dark times because I can’t self manage and living alone wasn’t working at all. I ended up dropping out of my course after a year and starting another one but I’ve dropped out now after almost two years. I just can’t get myself to do it. I get so depressed. But dropping out again has made me feel like the most stupid person in the world. I watched all my friends graduate and be so happy and do well. I’ve never been so depressed in my life. I’ve moved home with my family. I love my family but I feel so alone. I see my friends from time to time but when I go back home I just cry and cry and cry because I miss my old life in uni even though I was depressed I had friends and sometimes had fun.

I just saw my friends for Halloween weekend. We did mdma together and I suppose I had fun but I just couldn’t fully enjoy myself knowing it would end. Now I have a massive comedown. I’m at home with my family. I’m depressed. I don’t want to be alive anymore. I have no passions. I am in debt. No job. No hobbies. No interests.

I’m so sad.

I’m in graduate school. Another student in my research group, let’s them call Ned, and I are acquaintances. We’ve known each other almost 4 years at this point, and for the most part I’d say we have gotten along well. We have hung out outside of work and have helped each other with work.

Now keep in mind, this is graduate school. The mindset in grad school is generally that all the students are in it together because it’s hard and we are all just trying to succeed.

Well in the past, Ned has told our advisor about frustrations I expressed in confidence at a social outside of work. This caused me to lose a lot of trust for Ned.

But I tried to rebuild my acquaintanceship with Ned over the last several months. That is until today when I found out through a mutual friend that Ned has gone out of their way to throw me under the bus again.

Ned is being considered for a new project, and the PI asked Ned if I would be a good fit to also be on the project. Well it turns out, Ned said no.

Ned and I have always been friendly to each other recently and we help each other with our research so I don’t know why Ned would speak negatively about me. It’s also not like Ned would have to give anything up to say “yes, they’d be a good fit for this project too.” They literally just tried to take away an opportunity from me for no good reason.

I have never heard of another student trying to negatively affect their peer’s career like this. It’s extremely hurtful and I’m finding it hard to want to trust anyone in my research group now.

I went to the barbershop yesterday and told my long-time barber to cut my beard shorter than he usually does. I love my beard, and he normally makes it look really good, just the way I like. My beard is usually full and completely filled out, and I take a lot of pride in it.

But yesterday, he cut it much shorter than I wanted. Now it's patchy, far too short, and, IMO, it doesn't look good on me at all.

My beard was always a big part of my confidence as a man, and now it's going to take months, minimum, to grow back to where I wanted it to be. I'm also extremely paranoid that I won't be able to grow it back to that degree at all (I'm 35, so who knows if it was starting to thin out-- I started growing it in the summer of 2022).

I feel ugly and worthless and I don't know how to handle this.

Need someone to listen without judgment or advice? l'm here to help. You can talk to me about anything on your mind, whether it's relationships, work, hobbies, dreams, struggles, or successes. Don't suffer alone reach out today. Looking forward to hearing from you Soon.

Comment on this if you are unable to DM.

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I will start by saying, yes, I know I did a bunch of stuff wrong and I'm not looking for advice or judgement just support. This is a very long story, be warned.

This all started about 3 months ago. I got a new coworker at work. I've been there a few years and its normally my job to show around the new people and explain how the job works. I see this person waiting in the office, we will call them J for convenience. From the first time I see them, I find them interesting. Definitely like, physically female but with a more androgynous look and shorter hair. Turns out they're gender nonbinary so I will be referring to them as they a lot. Anyway, we introduce ourselves and start working. I show them around, explain the various things we do. As an aside, I'm bald, I'm only 25 I just shave my entire head every day but almost every person I meet asks about it and it makes me feel insecure. They didn't ask about it the whole day and that made me kinda happy. Anyway so my job has tons of downtime and we had a lot of chance to talk. We talked about our pets, I have a bird and they have a snake. We talked about our hobbies and what not and generally it was fun. They also somehow figured out that I'm autistic and said they are too which is apparently obvious to everyone but me. As a child I was diagnosed with aspergers but my parents never told me because they wanted me to turn out normal which is a whole different thing. Anyway, so, we were just work friends at this point, had a few shifts together and chatted a little and what not. My boss, when making the schedule, asked who I would like to work with and I did mention them so we had many shifts together. About a month later, during work, they passed out and hit their head. It was a whole thing and they got taken to a hospital but they were fine. I texted them to ask if they were ok, and they were very flattered that I cared about them and checked up on them. Then we kept texting. I asked what they were up to, apparently bowling with their boyfriend(I thought they were lesbian at this point and I was slightly disappointed because I had a crush on them). They asked what I was doing and I told them I was at a swim meet. They said I was a really good coach and deserved an award. That made me feel happy. We kept talking, messaging every few minutes all day every day. We planned to hang out in a park near me. When the day came and we met up in the park, I brought my bird so they could meet her. They brought a bag of mangosteens which are a really expensive fruit and also hold a lot of emotional significance to me because my first girlfriend on my first date also brought a bag of mangosteens for me. Our work uniform is very unflattering and when I saw them in normal clothing I found them very attractive.We talked for 2 hours and enjoyed eachothers company a lot, I had to leave so my bird didnt get overheated in the sun. We planned to meet up again, later that week but this time at my place. An important point, I have no chairs in my room only my bed. So, we start watching a bad horror movie. Laying side by side in bed on our front. Over the course of it, we both sort of end up getting closer until our bodies are like, pressed together shoulder to shoulder. I asked if that was ok, and they said they liked it and I did so we just stayed like that. After the first movie, we watched another, and another, just trash talking the people in the movies and having a great time together. They ended up staying over for 12 hours laying next to me the whole time. We agreed to meet up again soon after. Same thing, bad reality tv, trash talking the people, enjoying eachothers company. This time, I laid on my front and they laid their legs across my body. When I asked why they said they found the feeling of me breathing comforting. We stayed like that for a long time. At this point, things were starting to get more flirtatious. They would say things like "I can't focus at work because I'm too busy looking at you" and "I find your smell comforting" and "I get jealous when other people make you smile". I would say things too, I would tell them they're cute, they're my favorite person, they make me happy. We texted with hearts, and made comments about eachothers bodies. We kept seeing eachother, every time, more physical contact. Laying next to eachother under a blanket, legs on eachother, stuff like that. They started napping in my bed sometimes, and I started napping with them. They had also begun to make comments about their boyfriend.They said that he didn't give them attention like I did, he didn't give them good gifts like I did, he only liked them for their body, he wanted kids and was pressuring them into it. At the same time, still growing closer to me, texting me more, always a good morning and good night text. Always hearts. They even said "I love you" one night, and I said it back. After about a month of this, we were hanging out together at their house. Laying in their bed, side by side under the blankets together. And I told them "you know we're more than just friends right". And we had the first conversation. They knew I had a crush on them already, and I told them that our behavior together was romantic and it seemed like they want to be with me instead of their boyfriend. Because any time they were with their boyfriend, they were texting me. And any time they were with me, they were acting like this and telling me how much better I was. I told them that they will need to make a choice, to end what we have before we get too attached or to end their relationship with him and try something with me. I told them, doing nothing is also an action, if we continue this, it will make your situation more complicated. This cannot persist the way it is. They did nothing. We continued hanging out, engaging in the romantic behaviors. They changed their work schedule to be aligned with mine, we sat in their car holding hands and talking for hours after work. Every time we met up, we had the same conversation. They kept saying, they aren't sure how they feel about me and he's the safe option. I kept saying they wouldn't treat me like a romantic partner if they weren't sure and he's not the safe option because you aren't happy with him. A month ago, it reached a climax. They told me that they were using me to meet their unmet emotional needs. They said they were going to have a serious conversation with their boyfriend and if things don't get better by the end of the month they will leave him. I asked them how the really felt about me, they said they don't know. I asked if they were just leading me on, they said they don't know. But they continued to act the same. I told them, if you really don't like me that way, you need to say that to me so I can begin to move on and heal. It took some pushing but eventually they just repeated back to me "I don't like you that way and don't want anything romantic with you" and that was kinda enough. I was heartbroken, but not that much. We kept talking, it was still a bit lovey and flirty and still all the time. Later that week however, they told me they had an epiphany. They told me that they do actually like me that way, they're just insecure about being bigger than me. So, we talked about our bodies, our insecurities, the attraction we felt toward eachother and the possibility of a future together. We talked about the ways our needs weren't being met physically and emotionally in my past and their current relationships and how the ways we want to be loved are the same. And things were good for about a week. The flirting was back, the touching was back, it felt like love. At this point, the boyfriend was still freaking out about everything. They told him about me, and said they moved on and their connection with me was stronger. He was apparently very mad and said never to talk to me again. I told them, we can't build a relationship together while you're trying to fix one with him. You are going to need to leave him if you want to be with me. And they tried. Twice. They told him very firmly that they don't want to be with him at all anymore. And he said no, he said I was poisoning their mind and they do still love him. Despite me explaining that's not how relationships work and breakups do not have to be mutual, they believed him. And 10 minutes after breaking up with him, they went on a date. I got mad. I got very mad. I told them they would never have the strength to leave him, and they were going to be stuck with him and be miserable. And I told them never to talk to me again. That lasted about 15 minutes. They texted me that they broke down crying and left the date. I told them I was sorry for what I had said. They said they still wanted to be with me but I was being too pushy and I needed to give them time. So we had some time. We saw eachother about a week later, back in our old habits. We took a nap together, they snuggled their face right up against mine, I put my arm around them. I wanted to kiss them but did not. We watched tv together, talked for hours. We were very happy. We continued talking, about our potential future together, the things we loved about eachother. But any time feelings came up, it was always "I don't know how I feel about you yet". And any time the boyfriend came up, it was always "He's the safe option and he's really trying". After about a week, I got a little fed up. I was committed to not being pushy as much as I could. I asked them "can I please just say how I feel" and I outlined clearly, our romantic compatibility, the things they did towards me which clearly showed they had interest in me, all the ways in which they weren't happy with him that they would be with me. I explained that, they said losing me is like losing a part of their soul, and they are risking a 3 year romantic relationship by talking to me, a "friend" they've known for 3 months. They told me they understand now, that they found someone who loves them and put effort into them and pushed me away to fix things with someone they didn't really want. They said they wanted to try things out with me romantically in the future. The day after, they saw the boyfriend. And they broke up with him. But he said no, he said you aren't allowed to leave me if I don't want to. And they believed it. We talked about it in the car after work together, we held eachothers hands. They told me "I don't love him anymore, I feel more connected to you, you make me happy". They promised me they would never get back together with him. We talked about our plan. We were going to continue as we had been, and let things develop naturally. We talked about dates we wanted to go on, things we liked about eachother. But come the next day, they are on a hike with the boyfriend, then working out at the gym with him. I try to ask them whats going on, and what the situation is, but they say they can't handle the pressure from me or him. And they shut down. The next day we try to talk, they say they don't know how they feel about me or him anymore. Same thing the next day. They get sick, I come visit them. They seem indifferent to me. I ask whats up, they say they don't feel anything toward anyone anymore, they have no motivation, they don't want or enjoy anything. I tell them it sounds like a depressive episode, and I will support them through it, but the lack of interest is causing me to lose some feelings. I tell them I haven't pulled away from them, and I still want to talk about our situation. The text messages grow less and less frequent. And for the first time, we aren't talking at all.

And that's where we are today. I haven't heard anything in two days. I feel a crushing loneliness, going from the happiest I've ever been back down to nothing. And I want nothing more than for them to just talk to me. But they haven't. I don't know if they ghosted me, or they got back with their boyfriend or what.

This is particularly hard for me, being that I am autistic I struggle to find people I connect with and this is the first time in 4 years that another person has made me feel happy and loved. Losing that is such a crushing defeat. I've been struggling to work or eat or sleep, I'm mostly just crying and waiting. I feel hopeless, that I will be alone for the rest of my life. And scared, that my mistakes drove away someone who made me so happy.

Started out the month needing surgery that cost me $4500.

About a week later, my daughter totaled her car (she was at fault, liability insurance only). I had to loan her $9,000 to get another vehicle.

Next week, A tree in my backyard had a fungus and needed pruning/fungi treament - $1400.

Next week, my car had a bad part that needed replaced, $650.

Then this morning, and I'm not making this up, my a/c in my truck doesn't work, I take it in, they show me a mouse/rat made a nest under the hood and ate a bunch of wiring and it's all jacked up.

I have not heard back on how much this is going to cost but I'm assuming it won't be cheap. I do have insurance so that should cover it but damn, lately it seems I can't catch a break.

Also, I forgot, I had a biopsy done for a suspicious mole which I'll get the results back for in a couple of days.

I just want be happy that all I want love love love life is so short I am tired to fight

I’m a 16 year old teenager in grade 11 who’s recently been diagnosed with ADHD. All I can tell you is that this year is hard compared to last year and it’s a very crucial year for me. I have a hobby of being interested into landline phones and retro technology and IP telephony devices, or in general, telephones ever since I was 3 and can remember, I still have the interest until now and it’s even more than ever with me gaining knowledge everyday about it. I have a problem, I am not a really organized person, I mean I was, but that was the second half of grade 9 and the first half of grade 10, where I actually had energy to do homework’s and did well in school, and generally I was really organized and happy. I am happy now, I feel different, I don’t know if it’s because I’m growing up, but I’m understanding life differently, I mean there’s so much to the life that I’m living and having, and it’s not the thing I thought as a kid. While this is good, it means that I’m becoming wise and growing up, it’s still a very hard transition, and it seems that I’m not giving a shit about it by not doing anything, but I am, I worry about my life a lot and how I want to manage it and guide it and become successful, but the stress always gets in my way. This is not the main problem though, the main problem is that when I always get home after school, I waste my time on my interests (such as working with Cisco devices, trying out new stuff, watching YouTube videos of my interests, watching TikTok and that’s a time waster honestly, nothing good is on TikTok). Now, you might say I’m addicted to my phone, but I’m not, I took a one week break from my phone back at the end of grade 10, and a had a Nokia as my daily driver. That helped a bit, but it seems that I was still getting distracted easily, like multiple thoughts come in the middle of the teachers lesson and class, I mean I’m looking at the board, but I am in my own world (I don’t use drugs or vape, I hate that stuff, and if someone has a suggestion of me using them, please think of a better idea as I don’t have any interest of doing these stuff). I keep thinking about my interests, or who about girls I like and always saying “man I wish I was with her” it just comes up randomly and it traps me in this sick cycle. I’m also terrible at time management, again, when I do stuff when I get home, I’m like saying “ok I’ll get on my homework in about an hour, and when an hour comes, I say, nah maybe 30 mins later, and then, this goes on and on, and then I see it’s night, and I didn’t do shit for my day. And even when I make a free time for homework, I always get distracted and sometimes get dragged into my stuff of interests and keep thinking, or working with them, or get dragged into TikTok. It seems I can’t use a 100% of my ability, and I can’t lock in, and I don’t know why, but when it comes to school or homework, I always had this bad connection with school where I never did anything at the best capacity, and always just wanted to do my work to get rid of it and finish it fast. But now it’s even worse, I don’t have any energy, and homework and schoolwork seems like this big challenge for me that I never overcame it. I just hate this in general, that I’m smart, and I’m using 0% of my brain power in school, and being the dumbest amongst others, and looking like I just came from space and don’t know what’s going on. This honestly also relates to the class engagement plan that the teacher has, for example, I am more focused in physics than in math, because first, I like physics, and second, I have a friend who knows my studying issues in that class, and third a funny teacher who always engages us in activities and asks us for theories after demonstrating an experiment such as for example throwing something up and then it reaching a small stopping point mid-air. Anyways, it seems that I am also distracted from life. I was this organized kid, who everyday woke up at 5, went with bus, and had this energy in him that was funny, fun to hangout with, and cheerful. But now, I’m just a freaking bum, I wake up terribly late, I sleep late, I am lazier than ever, I don’t go with bus, I don’t do my homework like I used to back in last half and first half or grade 9 and 10 where I woke up at 5, and from 5-6 I did my homework, and honestly that was great because I got the greatest marks of my life. And in general, I don’t have any energy or motivation to go back to what I was, and I feel like I’m energy less and extremely lazy, very lazy, this is all pure laziness. And it just haunted me down terribly. I also had this very good diet plan before back in grade 10, and I was at my skinniest stage, but then I started eating trash, and then I became a bit fat, I’m just fat in general but I do workout, but also I have no energy sometimes to workout like I used to, idk why, I got stronger, but weaker mentally, and seems I don’t believe in myself enough. And everytime I want to go on a diet, for example a no sugar diet, I see a fool looking pastry for example, and say, eh it’s only one, it’s fine, and then, I eat a lot, and at the end of the realize that no, it wasn’t fine, I kept having that stupid logic that “eh, eating one, not gonna harm anyone, but then it became to 2, then 3.” It’s terrible, this is the worse that I’ve ever been. I don’t care about my personal looks like I used to, everything in life seems like a challenge and I got extremely lazy, and I need help to get back on track, because I want to be an electronics or computer science engineering student and this path I’m taking, is straight up to failiure.

Long story short, I was having a good time yesterday with how things are going, I was playing in a voice with a group of friends, We were having a good time, I was unaware my voice would reach that far, We live in sort of a fancy house tbh, We do have people who live above us but..I digress

Anyways I wake up this morning heading for breakfast, And I heard my mom saying that I should sleep early and my voice was loud and my dad saying that who I Was talking to while he was lau ghing

I was embarrassed, I didn't know what to do, I just left, I feel like my family is annoyed by me and its hell
I was genuinely happy because I was feeling depressed throughout my days so for this to happen it brings me joy.

I would love some help because I don't think I Can talk to anyone right now in this house

With good thoughts in mind, Thank you very much

I'm a quiet person. A few months after I started my job, a guy I'd been on good terms with suddenly got pissed at me for "never saying anything," and refused to talk to me afterwards. This stressed me out so much.

A spot on a different shift opened up soon after and I took it. A similar thing has happened with another coworker. I'm pretty sure what caused her to start ignoring me is that she tried to say something to me one day, and I just smiled and nodded in response. I think she took offense to that. I can't hear very well, the environment we work in is noisy, and she has a very thick accent.

I told a lead about both of these incidents, but they didn't really get resolved. The second one is especially grating because I have to work so directly with her. I called out of work yesterday for the first time because I was scheduled with her. Not only do I not want to do that to my nice coworkers again, it isn't a long term solution due to the low amount of people we have.

I feel so fucking stressed when I'm around either of these people, like I'm about to start crying or hit them or something. I've been isolating myself in my department when normally I would go try to help the others. My heart races every time I walk in to work or think about it at home (like right now!).

I want to quit at this point, but I worry about my ability to find another job. I would also like to start seeing a therapist, but I don't want to start, only to leave right after because I quit or got fired and don't have insurance anymore.

I've kinda told a few of my friends about this but they don't really seem to get it, which I understand. I don't know why I'm reacting like this either.

overdosed on Wellbutrin (21F)

the last several weeks I’ve been feeling like I was in rock bottom. I was baker acted and sent to a facility that wasn’t too bad. Now im doing IOP and aggressive health care team for my severe depression, anger issues, and self sabotage. but despite medication changes, I still felt the same way. im on 40 fluoxetine, apripazole, and 300 gbupropion.

this is an example of my anger issues, impulsiveness, and childish behavior: Last night I was playing BO6 multiplayer with my boyfriend and when I saw I had a bad kda I raged, groaned, and cried and threw my mouse on the ground. I’ve always had issues with ego even when im bad at something, and then I let myself down bc of it. It takes me way too long to get back to my normal self.

right after I did whatever I could to cope healthily (taking a step back, playing a calm game, and breathing and positive self talk). But I felt worse after like an hour. I was in a vc in discord with more friends and while they were talking I immediately grabbed my bupropion bottle. I took 1.5 g worth of it (without insufflate and crushing it) and i realized it’s easy to die if you’re not aware of the SE of medications. i only knew that it would cause suicidal behavior and taking >6 g is essentially death.

this morning for hrs i have been having what i believe serotonin syndrome (causes twitching, sustained tachycardia, hallucinations, tremors, super disoriented when I get out of bed). I still feel suicidal but simultaneously im elated.

I don’t have a hx of epilepsy but the “aura” that people get which precedes seizures is so scary. I don’t wanna bite my tongue or choke on vomit. i don’t want to worry about concerts, flashing lights, or random noises (door closing, cars, etc). i regret so badly that my substance abuse has gotten too far.

im so scared. I don’t want to get baker acted again. I don’t want to go to the hospital and anticipate the process of intubation. I don’t want to go to a doctor. I can’t afford it for a while. will this ever end? will i wake up the same way tomorrow?

i just want to be normal.

Detroit Discord has some of the most authoritative Arrogant admins of any community, they are ultra-far-left and will ban you for one small issue

I [21NB] took my partner [24M] to the psych ward yesterday, and I’ve never felt more helpless. My partner has struggled with a long list of mental illness his whole life, and used to experience intense bouts of mania and erratic thoughts and paranoia. I met him online in mid 2023 and paid for him to take a greyhound to my state after he was alone in a psych ward and kicked out of his grandmother’s apartment (By the landlord, not his grandma). Things were rocky at first, he was on antipsychotics but still experienced horrible manic episodes and paranoia the likes of which I’ve never seen. After stopping taking his medicine altogether, I’ve never seen him healthier.

He began using purely marijuana to self medicate, and went a whole year having the most happy and healthy relationship with me I’ve ever experienced. Recently he has come to terms with some intense childhood trauma and has been very fragile mentally and emotionally. He then had to undergo surgery for a pilonidal cyst, which puts you under anesthesia to remove it, and packs the wound with gauze. For someone in his mental state who has never experienced surgery before, this took a severe toll on him. I noticed he began to have those terribly familiar paranoid thoughts, he would speak purely in odd metaphors and cryptic sentences that I could never seem to decode. He then began to think I wasn’t me. He would ramble on about me not being direct with him, what I was doing wrong, and all these other terrible things. Then he acted like he was about to hit me. Let me make this clear, he has never been violent with me or even threatened violence to me, and still hasn’t, so this action was a shock. He then accused me of being an imposter. He threw open the windows, unplugged everything in the apartment, and told me to stay in the bedroom, all while screaming to “Them” thinking he was being watched and recorded.

I called the police, which felt like I was betraying him. They came and he met them downstairs. He acted like nothing happened and it was terrifying to see him be so casual, smiling and laughing like he wasn’t just shoving his phone flashlight in my face demanding me to state who I really am. They took him to the hospital, but he walked home that night, clamoring he “Knew what to say to get out of there.” That night he was terrified, hiding in my arms, asking with wide fearful eyes if I was going to leave him. I assured him I had no plans to, and I want only to help him. That morning though, he was back at it. He was flickering the lights at 6am, on the phone with his grandmother. I got dressed and went to my mom’s.

Yesterday I had a friend come over to comfort me and help figure out what to do, as his mother was experienced with working with the mentally ill. Beforehand, my friend had checked the apartment. Things were knocked over, our weed and things was gone, and his phone was left there. Thankfully, the car was still in the parking lot, which was a relief because he can’t drive for 72 hours after that surgery. He wasn’t there, however. My friend and I decided to wait it out, then go back to check for him, and call the police again if he never turned up. He did turn up though, at my mother’s house.

He was shaken up, but calm. He was very fearful that we hated him or might not be who we say we are, but eventually agreed to be a voluntary admission to a psych ward. We got some things he might need and drove him there. My friend and I waited 4 hours in the waiting room to see him again, as I had promised to say goodbye and check on him. He was on a small blowup mattress in a corner, looking out of it. His words didn’t make much sense still, but he was the calmest I’d seen him. He said he trusted us to do what is best for him. I kissed him and we left. Where I’m struggling now is with feeling like I sold him out. His past experiences with psych wards are all negative, mistreatment, poor medication, misdiagnosis, etc.

I feel like I threw him into yet another traumatic experience. We’re going to visit him today but I can’t help but feel like I abandoned him. I know I can’t be there for him all the time, but the idea of him there alone yet again makes me sob, and that’s all I’ve been doing recently. Please someone tell me I did the right thing. Please tell me he will be okay.

TL;DR I had no choice but to send my partner to a psych ward after a manic paranoid episode involving police, and I feel like I’m abandoning him, did I do the right thing?

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