How can I stop gaslighting myself that I'm not bi because I've only ever had experiences with men?

Sorry if "politics" aren't allowed, but this is so much bigger than that and very urgent so please don't delete.

This is one of the only "official" media sources discussing the metadata aspect. https://www.salon.com/2025/01/28/right-wing-activists-appear-to-be-writing-memos-for-the/

This is information about the lawsuit by federal employees against musk https://fedscoop.com/opm-email-federal-workforce-lawsuit-server-privacy-security/

Here is my write up about the subreddit with screenshots of misinformation being used and deleted posts by mods: https://open.substack.com/pub/pimentomori/p/some-moderators-of-subreddit-for?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5783cf

I was working on a follow up post yesterday when more information started coming in about Musk taking over government systems with sensitive data. https://www.yahoo.com/news/exclusive-musk-aides-lock-government-200344003.html

My Substack app was being very buggy and kept deleting my drafts. I hope I am just being paranoid but I went ahead and posted a draft of it to a reddit thread.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WelcomeToGilead/s/F65wfd0JZc

I had just started using substack and don't know what other platform to use, but I might try to continue just on a protected browser vs the app bc I do want to spread this information as far as I can. It basically tries to summarize a lot of things that have quickly happened since the new administration began. Much of the information is being covered by the media but presented in a way that sort of skews the full truth and creates a narrative or wilfully ignores how it relates to other information.

I'll post a link to the reddit thread here and update once I have the blog post finalized, but basically key points from that post:

1. DEI initiatives are being used as an excuse for the need to intervene and investigate how our tax dollars are potentially being wasted, but the interventions themselves are leading to tax waste.

2. The people that ensure accountability for how our tax dollars are spent are being illegally removed from their positions, and they're relying on federal employees to enforce these removals. With these people gone, there is no oversight left for government spending.

3. Spending freezes are being broadly issued across federal departments including our own Army, but for some reason Trump has decided now is the time to give 8,000 dismissed soldiers who were discharged for refusing the COVID vaccine 3 years of back pay. Why now?

4.Where is that money coming from? Also, where is the money being offered to buy out federal employees coming from? The people that can give us those answers are the same ones he's trying to get rid of.

Personal speculation is we need to be asking why the news is not making the connection between the claim that DEI is wasting tax dollars and why we would then fire the people that could actually show us the data about how tax dollars were being spent.

It seems like the DEI attack is the way to make his base feel like he's doing something for them (as well as keep the country divided and can keep us distracted while he plays both sides, big fucking surprise there) and looking into corruption, but really this and all the actions that have come since have resulted in an insane amount of money going unaccounted for, spending freezes for even the Army and defense, but large amounts of money being offered as buyouts to get federal employees to quit and back pay for those discharged military members with no nonpartisan individuals able to account for anything.

32 female. I’ve always been bisexual, had a few fleeting flings with women in my 20s but only ever dated guys. I have an amazing boyfriend. Started Prozac 3 months ago and have been having vivid sexual dreams about women almost every single night for a month now. I can’t stop thinking about it and don’t know if I’m actually gay, or just self-sabotaging a good relationship. I’ve told my bf and he’s been super loving and supportive, and told me I need to do what’s best for me. I really do love him, and am getting older, and don’t know why this is all just coming up now at 32 years old. Please help

Pessoal, sou H37 cis, atualmente estou saindo com uma menina Trans, é uma relação aberta por enquanto, e esses dias eu estava flertando com um cara q conheci num bar.
ele é bem pinta de hetero, com barba e tal, eu tbm sou assim, e não acho isso atraente a primeira vista, mas fiquei com tesão após conversamos, e demos uns pegas ali kkkkk
mas notei q isso é meio comum em mim, eu não me sinto atraído por homens com esses traços masculinos, Eu não chego em nenhum cara naturalmente, mas se o cara vier falar comigo, as vezes rola algo.

me contem ai se possível, suas experiencias, e se ja passaram por isso, oq acham dessa situação?

My celebrity crush that helped me realize that I was bi was Charli xcx, she helped me realize that I have a type due to past crushes that I ignored LOL, I have a big fat crush on her no lie. I’m super curious to know!

I’m definitely attracted to men, but for some reason the idea of being in a relationship with one is undesirable. I’ve never felt this way in the past until now, so I’m guessing this is just a phase? For context I’ve grown up with a pretty misogynistic father, who often objectifies and demeans women, which probably contributes to my changed feelings. Has this happened to anyone else?

28 female, and for the past few years, I’ve always considered myself to be a lesbian until recently, I had to be honest with myself and the fact that I still have lingering curiosity for men. Despite my resistance. my experience with women has left me very weary of them as well . The lesbian community just feels so unstable and most of my relationships have failed.

That being said, I still haven’t been able to actually date men either because there’s a huge resistance there. I’m not sure what to do.

I feel like stuck in a rut, where emotionally attached to women but right now I feel completely uninterested in both men and women, and don’t want to date either one.

Usually I always go on dates with women but recently, I was just been canceling dates and just not wanting to go. Dating is also tough right now because I still live at home. Low-key feeling embarrassed about that. Anyone else feel like this ?

But then you remember you are bi and it doesn’t matter to you? I love it! Feel so liberating! God some people are so hot!

Sad I don’t have the confidence to introduce myself :(

Some disclaimers first: this post is marked NSFW as I will talk about a lot of sexual stuff. Secondly this post may be lengthy, but I need to get all my thoughts out and I hope someone has the time and patience to read it all!

I’m a cis man, and all my life I’ve thought of myself as heterosexual, although now that I think about it I’ve never really thought of it in great detail growing up.

Somehow yesterday it struck me, and I started thinking about it much more deeply and rationally. I realized that maybe most heterosexual men don’t fantasize about making out with, and sucking another man’s dick from time to time. I’m still young but I think the “fantasies” have gotten more intense over the years (if that’s a thing).

I’m without a doubt still more attracted to women than men, and I know that’s a thing, but I’ll lay out kind of how I feel.

When it comes to kissing/making out/getting intimate with someone I fantasize about that with both men and women, and the thought of doing it with another man really turns me on. Intercourse I mostly see myself with a woman, but doing it with a man is also something I think about, but especially sucking dick or being on the receiving end (by another man) turns me on a lot.

When it comes to the more romantic side it’s not as clear cut as with the sexual side. Here I absolutely see myself more with a woman than with a man. I can see myself getting affectionate with another man, and perhaps getting into some kind of “closer” relationship, more than just friends if you know what I mean. But if I think about the future, where I’ll be in say ten years from now with a long-term partner I have a really hard time seeing that it would be with a man.

Growing up my crushes have always been on women, I’m sure there’s some exception but never anything “strong”. I have had women showing romantic interest in me in the past which I’ve always really liked.

So that’s why I’m a little “confused”. I know bisexuality is almost never 50/50 but I do kind of feel like a fraud because I can’t see myself long-term with a man, even though the sexual desires are almost as strong as they are with a woman.

Before anyone brings it up, I don’t think it has anything to do with it being “taboo” or whatever, my romantic desires are simply stronger with women. Although as I mentioned earlier in this post getting affectionate and “close” with a man isn’t something I’m entirely against, it’s mostly just the long-term stuff.

If I were to put a number on it I would say I’m a cis man attracted 80/20 to women/men, perhaps closer to 75/25.

I don’t know the point of this post really, it’s just something I realized about myself yesterday that I’ve been feeling for God knows how long. Perhaps I just wanted someone that had the time and patience to read all of this to “validate” my feelings or whatever. Especially the paragraph about me feeling like a fraud and being confused, I’d like some help with that one.

I never thought of myself as anything LGBT but now it all kind of comes crashing down. Maybe I’m part of the “club” now? That thought actually brings me a lot of comfort and warmth :’)

Thanks for reading <3

Bi guy here, hello all you lovely bi folks. I've always been enamoured by belly button piercings, ever since they started getting popular in the 2000s. Always thought they were hot on ladies, but now as I'm more comfortable with my own sexuality, I find myself fantasizing about getting one. I don't have any other piercings or tattoos. Who knows if I'll eventually do it, but I'm not gonna lie I REALLY want to! If anyone wants to share their belly button ring experience I'd love to hear!

Hey people! ,I've been a straight guy my whole life but lately, i've found myself being drawn to BI/Gay smut but i feel absolutely zero attraction to guys physically or emotionally irl. I'm not even turned on by gay porn, the only time i find myself attracted to guys and particularly dicks is when i'm reading smut. I've tried looking at pictures and videos but they don't turn me on at all. So, I'm quite confused if i'm even bi.

So I am 24F, bisexual asf— now married to a man, but have had experiences with women before. My best friend (23F & straight) whom I usually openly discuss my s*x life with recently walked in on the ‘evidence’ after my husband & I did it & I fell asleep after (he left for work). She has a key to my place & we usually just pop in & out of each other’s houses without notice.

This didn’t feel like a big deal because we’re really comfortable around each other (best friends since school) & we’ve seen each other naked before (getting changed, sharing bathrooms, taking showers in front of each other, sauna, etc etc).

Anyway, ever since then, her behaviour towards me has changed. She’s doing what I’m interpreting as casual flirting, wants to talk about my s*x life more than usual & keeps doing things like complimenting me an unusual amount & finding excuses to touch me. I mean, caressing my hand, bringing my fingers close to her face & touching my hand to her lips, running her fingers along my arm/leg/back in a sensual way…

I was unsure if I was just being delusional, but the most recent addition to the list has been that she’s changed from giving me our usual peck on the cheek as a greeting to KISSING MY NECK. Like, a 2 second neck kiss… okay…

I found this strange because she knows I am extremely sensitive and would respond physically to something like that. She has been doing this for about 2 weeks now.

It’s confusing because she is definitely straight. Idk if maybe she is now bi-curious or just plain curious about s*x since she’s still a virgin. Or maybe she is just doing it to drive me crazy. Knowing what effect it would have on me and that I won’t do anything because I am married now. She has a bit of a sadistic streak. Maybe she is just finding it fun? A ‘safe’ way for her to explore without it leading to anything??? I am so confused.

Idk what to even do about this. Am I being delusional? Does this sound normal? What would I even do about it?

For all my bi music lovers (which is all of us i assume)

Which songs sounds like what being bisexual feels like in your experience?

or

What songs do you associate with bisexuality in general?

a couple that come to mind for me:

• The Beach by The Neighbourhood
• Seigfried by Frank Ocean

Yesterday I put up a post and mentioned how nervous I was and that I would maybe cancel! I’m so happy I didn’t, we got on sooo well and she wants to see me again, buttt I don’t know if she likes me that way? I just couldn’t tell..I can never tell 😂🫣

How should i feel as a gay men and im dating a bisexual men but he brings up randomly his attractions for women like for example he will say how he wouldn't mind putting put in the jail's for women and i just feel in my heart like i feel like its wrong but maybe its not possibly? to bring up his attractions for females still but i cant change that feeling that i continue to have whenever he brings up his attractions to other women it just makes me uncomfortable or feel uneasy about our relationship, What can i do ?

For context I am a straight man (27) and my wife (26) is bisexual. We both grew up in and left a controlling religion that shames just about anything related to sexuality. I absoulty love my wife and want her to be as happy as can be. We married young, and recently she expressed feeling sadness over not being able to experince this part of her sexuality. I have thought about it quite a bit, and keep coming to the same conclusion, that I feel totally okay with her exploring her sexuality with another woman. I recognize this is not for everyone, but it feels like it could be an option for us.

We recently talked about my openess to the idea if she would want to try and how I am totally fine that it would not be open for me. She responded that she feels aspects of excitement and nervousness when thinking of having sex with a women. I asked why she feels nervous and she said that she did not know and does not like being asked questions about her sexuality as she doesn’t like to think to deeply about it and does not want to talk about it. I aplogized and backed off.

Now that I know she does not want to talk about it, I am not planning on revisitng the subject. I feel like it makes sense to me why she feels sadness about not being able to explore that part of her sexuality, and I also feel a bit disappointed for her as I feel like that could be an option for her. I also feel a pull to better understand what she is feeling, but I am not entilted to know what she is feeling and I dont want to be pushy. Not a lot of direct questions, just unsure if there is anything I can do or if there is nothing to do on my side.

im a 21 year old guy and ive been with my girlfriend for about 9 months now. i want to tell her about my sexuality but i dont know how to and the more i put it off the more anxious i get about it. its not an easy thing for me to talk about cause its never gone well for me in the past when people have found out, i lost a whole group of friends overnight because they heard id slept with another guy more recently, and the first time i told some i thought i might not be straight within a week or two the whole school knew and i was bullied for it. any advice?

what the title says. i just wanted to share my experience because honestly, this situation gives me whiplash.

so i have been a very strong headed lesbian for ten. years. from ages 13 to 23. i never even awknowledged men as an option. it seemed obvious to me, this way of life.

until a month ago. something happened. it happened so suddenly that i am still reeling. it was like something snapped in my brain. i can not stop thinking about men. literally 24/7 for the past month. it feels almost pathetic. god, some of them are so god damn cute. my head is just full of these thoughts and new ideas. i can't stop researching male actors and characters online, wanting to learn everything about them

i can't believe how i went from thinking men are ghosts to me becoming obsessed??? has anyone else had such a strong reaction? i feel like i'm a baby deer learning to walk. i'm 23 for christ sake.

this gives me intense whiplash because being a lesbian was a point of pride for me. i was so strongly connected to my identity.

anyway, im officially coming out of the closet lol. im bi. and i love it.

So, according to my math, I am bi.

According to the math my friend did, I may be something else? Idk? My sexuality spectrum math is horrible. I wasn’t tutored on it properly in school.

I know for a fact I am into women, men, and trans women, and not necessarily in that order.

For woman, I am cool on a wide spectrum of women. Super feminine girlie all through super masculine, and the range between. I am absolutely into super strong, willed and physically, women. This is my absolute go to without a doubt. I have always ended up falling for women who ended up becoming lesbians. If that helps.

My men? Also across the board too. I don’t necessarily know what I am looking for until I find it. My biggest finds are on the edges of soft hearted strong boys and super feminine twinks. Hyper masculine men are a no go. I HATE hyper masculinity in men, but love it in women.

For trans women, feminine.

I am open to trans men, I just have never met one that I have been into due to minimal contact with them to know what I could/would like.

Am I still bi? Something else?

I (32 F) realized I’m bi a couple of years ago. I’m married to a cis heterosexual man, and have only ever dated men though the signs were there.

I’ve had a relatively easy time coming out to my friends and my partner. Most people in my life are liberal and I work in the nonprofit sector in a liberal city. I called my mom to tell her, which required some bravery, but we do occasionally have deep emotional conversations. I told most people in my life in the first 6 months of realizing it myself.

The person I struggled to tell was my dad. He is one of my favorite humans in the world, and, he makes stupid insensitive jokes to get a reaction from my sister and I. Some of these are slightly homophobic. Meanwhile, my parents were the ones my high school friends stayed with after coming out to their own parents and getting unsupportive responses. I thought my mom may have told him, but I wasn’t sure and wanted to know so I could be my full self without compartmentalizing.

My dad and I don’t really talk feelings or emotions, and he avoids conflict like the plague. For a long time, I tried to think about how I could frame a conversation with him that wasn’t weirdly formal, but it never felt right. I came up with subtle ways my partner could make a comment or tell a joke and we could move on, but the timing was never right.

In the end, I just texted him:

Hey! Just wanted to share with you that I realized recently that I’m bi. This doesn’t really change anything in my life or marriage, but I’ve been telling the people close to me because it feels good to have them know this about me, too. Love you!

He said: Mom told me after you told her awhile back. We are who we are, and that’s okay. I’ll always love you regardless.

I am crying with relief that he knows, that he responded well, and that I can finally let go of this pressure. I’m lucky to have supportive people in my life, and hope this is supportive if you’re not sure what to do. And if you can’t or don’t want to come out to your parents, feel free to treat my quiet, introverted, Catholic school raised, midwestern dad’s response as your own ❤️

So for the past decade I was pretty sure I’m 100% gay. Recently the thought of sucking a dick has repulsed me and I’ve gone from being a total sub bottom to a dom top. At the weekend I decided to switch on the option for women on bumble. To my surprise I’ve matched with a lot of cute women… like the man equivalent in the gay community… I just don’t match with or they don’t like me. I’m confused because I’m not sure if I’m alienated by the whole gay community so my thoughts and feelings are going towards women? I’m just very confused if I should start dating women or at least try…

Hi! Okay I ( Bi F) was just wondering if any other multi gender liking partners may feel the same way or if I’m crazy- I have a boyfriend ( Straight M) that I love and adore. We’ve been together for a while now and things are serious- handle serious conversations just fine, families are integrated, please each other in the bedroom and live together in the day-to-day as a couple. I know you’re never supposed to use the p word, but it’s perfect. I have been with, and had two female relationships. They ended well, and I was able to experience good intimate relationships with women. So here’s the kicker: I miss women. I miss the emotional connection and the softness and like the female thinking process- all of which my boyfriend has his version of but it’s not the same. Any advice on how to navigate having an amazing relationship but still missing the other gender? Any thoughts welcome 🤗

Half of this subreddit is like i like sucking dick and boobs Am i bi or am i straight kinda funny

I didn’t realize I was a bisexual woman until I was in my 30’s. At the end of my second marriage, I made out with my best friend, then asked my husband if we could have a threesome with her (because I wanted to sleep with her without feeling like I was cheating). When the marriage ended, I kept having sex with her, but still wasn’t sure if I was bisexual or just in love with her.

But, 10 years and lots of women later, I know I’m bisexual, and I keep remembering all the early signs I ignored. At six, I spent many hours at my neighbour’s house playing ‘husband and wife’ as we french kissed and dry-humped in her basement. In middle school, I was half jealous/half in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. We would hang out after basketball practice and play truth or dare. I would dare him to feel her up and touch her in ways I wish I could have while I watched and got turned on. In high school, my love for one of my close friends seems obvious to me now, but just felt like a kinship back then. Now, I’m way more excited about the women than the men when we get together with swinger friends.

I wonder if I’ve always been into women (maybe I would have been a lesbian if that was an option), but I was forced to push that down because my Christian upbringing and society wouldn’t allow it. Or maybe I’m just imposing a new narrative on things that were simple curiosity back then. And does that even matter? Anyone else have these thoughts?

I’ve come on here because i need advice on how to break up with my girlfriend without her spreading rumours that i “faked being lesbian”. For context, i have been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now but in the past couple of months, i’ve lost the feeling of romance and it feels like more of a friendship. Additionally, i’ve started having a crush on this guy in my class and i don’t want to be in a relationship if i have eyes for somebody else, and im not contributing much to the relationship. I want to meet up with her and explain that i think it’s best we stay as friends as i’ve lost my romantic feelings for her. Before i would’ve done this with ease but it went very wrong with my last girlfriend. I dated her then about 2 years into the relationship i broke up with her explaining that i didn’t want to be with her anymore (i could tell we both didn’t have enough in common or like eachother enough to stay in a relationship. It went fine until a few months later i dated a guy and she found out. She went to all of our friends and told them that i faked being lesbian. Which is weird because i never told anybody my sexual orientation so it’s not like i “faked” anything and i did truly like her in the beginning of the relationship. As a result all my friends left me so i had to start over. Then a few months later me and my boyfriend broke up because he was moving countries and we figured long distance wouldn’t work out well for us. Then later on i met my current girlfriend. That’s the storyline of my dating history up until now. I’m really nervous that if i end up dating a guy after breaking up with her she is going to make everybody hate me and i can’t go through that all over again. Has anybody else experienced this? Should i try bring up the fact that im bisexual in a conversation to prevent her saying i faked being lesbian? Or should i just take a break from dating people for now.

TL;DR - I want to break up with my girlfriend but am worried i will be accused of “faking being lesbian” how do i prevent that happening and should i stop dating people for now due to my bad luck with relationships.

I'm trying to explore lgbt culture online, but I am not able to find any decent platforms to talk to people.. Can someone guide me

How many guys in here have the luxury to give their straight bro head? Does that mean your Friend is actually bi ?

I’ve done a lot of experimenting with friends growing up not so much anymore .

I (30 F) only recently came out as bi a couple of months ago and have told a few of my friends who are part of the LGBT community. One is lesbian and one is gay. Even though they are welcoming to some extent and supportive I still don’t fully feel like I fit in. I don’t feel that I’m “queer” enough since I’m “only” bi and not lesbian/gay. Does anyone else struggle with this feeling?

They make lighthearted inside jokes about being lesbian/gay a lot. Because I’ve only came out to a few of them, the other friends in the group assume that I’m straight since I have a long term boyfriend so I don’t feel like I can fully join in on the jokes etc.

Is there ways to combat this and feel more comfortable in my sexuality and feeling more like I belong? Can anyone else relate?

I’m a girl and I have a crush on this girl at work but idk if she’s likes me or if she’s even into girls. I’m a super quiet girl. Like I barely talk at work I don’t talk unless I have to talk to customers or if they ask me something. I just go to work and then clock out basically. But she’s so pretty and smells so so nice and her smile is so beautiful. I think it about it sometimes when I’m not at work. . But how can I find out with out asking 😵‍💫. I don’t think she would be attracted to me. Either. But sometimes when I look at her she’s already looking at me. Not all the time sometimes. And when she was telling me something she did when I was gonna do it while she said it her face turned red. Idk if it’s because talking to me makes her nervous or if she thinks I’m intimidated because some people think I’m mean before they get to know me. But I’m not sure. On the other hand I tried to ask her questions like what school did she go to etc. stuff like that. But she never asked me questions back. Like oh and what school did u go to or yk stuff like that. So I thought she didn’t take any interest. So should I just give up and focus just on work? But like she stands close to me when she tells me stuff. Or when I need to ask her something when she’s about to answer she will stand really close to me. And that makes me nervous. And like she does like this nervous like awkward mannerisms around me.