I wanna come out because I’m a lesbian but I’ve never dated anyone so what if I’m not? ( im a teen) but when I think about men like dating one and stuff like that it grosses me out and I want a girlfriend/ wife instead. I’ve had crushes on boys before but never thought about dating them. I had a crush on a girl in school, but what if I’m just going through a “eww boys are gross” phase? I thought I was bi but now I don’t think so. I wanna tell people but I feel like something’s holding me back, like I just feel scared? (Btw my fam supports me and knows I had a crush on a girl before) did anyone else feel this way? Sorry if this sounds silly

I 19F have identified with being aroace for nearly a year now. I'm 100% positive on the ace part, but not so sure regarding the aro part.

For a bit of context, I've been in two romantic relationships up until this point. Both of them were with
best friends and it felt less like actual romance and more like getting them to shut up on their pestering to date me or woes of not having a girlfriend. Maybe this is the neurodivergence in me talking as well, but I've never quite gotten why people get so upset over rejections.

And with both relationships, it didn't feel like there was any change from back when we were friends. And when I got out of both, I felt so happy that I didn't have to play pretend in a relationship anymore. Like, people hype up romance so much and yet those two times I thought I experienced it... there was nothing. There wasn't that supposed spark that everyone talks about.

To give context on the types of bad the first two relationships had, the first ended because the guy threw a damn hissy fit and acted like I shot his puppy when I told him that I didn't want to have sex with him after we tried it. As for the second, he held certain transphobic beliefs that would have made my friends very uncomfortable and wallowed in his misery like a dog in its shit.

And now I'm not sure if I'm falling for my best friend or if I just get really happy seeing him. It's the same feeling I get upon seeing my other friends. Maybe because he's a guy and I'm a girl, some part of me is trying to insist it's romance when it's not and I don't want it to be romance. For fuck's sake I just want a best friend I don't fall for. It feels like this time in middle school where I had a best friend who was a boy and I tried to ask him out to be my Valentine but it wasn't because I loved him that way but because at the time I thought that because he was a boy and I was a girl that there had to be something romantic going on. And there was this time I got a feeling of 'Kiss him' but it didn't feel good, it felt like a group of mean girls trying to haze someone into doing something they don't want to. Those thoughts of kissing him felt intrusive, invasive.

Please, help a gal out.

Thank you.

Ive been questioning for a long time. Even now I'm not certain what exactly I am. At this point I've only come out to my middle sister. Not my youngest sister and not my parents. But I figured it was time I mention that I wasn't straight to my younger sister. She says "Yeah. We all knew" I ask her to elaborate and she says "It was obvious. We lived with you". And I ask again who "we" is exactly and she says "All of us. We all suspected by the way you did things" Even the parents? "Yeah like they talk" To you?? "Well no but you know"

I just feel gross now. How could this thing apparently be so obvious to everyone but me? And I'm not even certain of my identity. Some part of me suspects that I'm just straight and in denial. Like I'm not sure if I'm accepting that I'm gay, or Im just actively choosing to believe I'm gay because I'm scared of relationships or something. I don't know if I'm bi or ace or Aro and it literally is so confusing. But everyone knows I'm gay apparently and it makes me uncomfortable??? Am I wrong to feel this way? Am I wrong to be kind of pissed at my younger sister for being more sure about my identity than I am??

Sorry, I know this will be quite a read, but I really need to vent, since I can't tell anyone IRL about this, at least for the time being.

I'm a 33 years old AMAB and I've always thought I was a cis male... at least, until about a month ago. Now, I have a premise: despite considering myself a male and never thinking otherwise during my childhood and my teenage years, I've always been unsatisfied with my physical appearance. Since when I was a teenager, I hardly got along with other guys, mainly because I couldn't stand the usual "guy talk", plus I'm very shy and introverted (I also suspect having some kind of neurodivergence, but I've never been officially diagnosed as of now), and I always valued female friendships more than male ones.

A few years ago, I started having strange "fantasies", like gender-swapping my body with a female acquaintance of mine (ok, this one was more like an intrusive thought) or, more generally, having a female body and wearing sexy or cheeky/alluring clothes, but at the time I chalked these thoughts up to a weird sexual fetish (it wouldn't have been the first for me, after all) and I didn't pay much attention to them.

More recently, during a night out with the few male friends I still have, I found myself very irritated at one of the occasional misogynistic remarks of one of them and thought "I really have nothing to do with all the bulls**t men say, I should have been born a woman". Actually, this thought didn't upset me, it was more like a "matter of fact", if I can say so.

Fast forward to around a month ago, when my sexual thoughts about being a woman started being a bit more frequent than usual. A small doubt started growing in my mind: "Is this really a normal fantasy for a cis person?" At the time, I was convinced that all trans people knew since their childhood that their gender was different from the one they were assigned at birth, and people who transitioned later in life did so just because they were forced to remain closeted until that moment (yeah, I know, I was very uninformed...), so the thought did never cross my mind. But, after a brief research on the web, it became apparent that I was wrong. The first reaction was one of utter denial: "That's impossible, I've always felt like a male until now, and my thoughts are just a sexual kink!" But, after reading this and other related subreddits, together with some other external resources linked by users, like the Gender Dysphoria Bible, I started to evaluate the possibility of not being cisgender after all.

Since that moment, this thought did not leave my mind for a second. While I don't exactly "hate" my male features per se (I just find myself ugly, as I always did) and I still feel like a man, I started desiring to be a woman and living as such. Now, I have to admit I suffer from a form of mild OCD, that kind that makes you check multiple times if you closed the door of your house and things like that, and I heard that there's a type of "trans OCD" that tricks you into believing to be trans when it's not the case, but the fact is that OCD thoughts are (correct me if I'm remembering it wrong) reported to be always unpleasant and unsettling, while my thoughts often give me a "warm and fuzzy" feeling, in other words I LIKE them (plus, I also want to point out that these fantasies also stopped being exclusively sexual)... damn, I've even chosen a hypothetical female name "just for fun"! The distress and the anxiety I'm experiencing right now seem to stem from thinking about the possible consequences of a hypothetical transition, which would be COMPLETELY out of the question for me at the moment, since my family and social life would basically be over and I don't have a support network to help me, this without considering all other problems that unfortunately transgender people have to face in their lives.

To be honest, I'm still hoping to wake up tomorrow without these feelings: there's nothing inherently wrong with them, but bottling them away for the rest of my life would make everything sensibly more difficult :( I'm well aware that only I can know what I really am and what to do from now on, but I'm curious to know if anyone in here can relate to my experience.

Also, I'd like to apologize in advance if my words unintentionally offended anyone: this is all new to me and I'm still trying to learn all the do's and don'ts.

This is gonna be tmi but i’ve recently began exploring myself sexually and i want to try butt stuff tonight but i’ve never shaved and idk how to make it not itch. any tips would be greatly appreciated

This is the first time I will be talking about this to anyone and I would really like an answer.

I am a 17 year old teenage boy who is mainly into girls. What I am about to explain is hard to describe but hear me out, when it comes to guys I am attracted to them in the sense that I would not mind making out with them, or you know what. But I would not date a guy. I suppose this started when me and an old friend of mine experimented by stroking each other off in the toilet. We though it was fun, but this was years ago and stopped talking ever since. Just 5 years ago, I was going through something and thought that I would never be liked by a girl so I started to look at gay porn on twitter, The Hub etc. I found this quite hot and found my self actually getting turned on, and my guess is it just reminds me of the first time me and my friend were stroking each other. After that, me a different friend of mine came for a sleepover and I suggested to him the idea of stroking each other whilst watching straight porn and he accepted. He asked me to suck him off and I did, it was honestly very regrettable but at the same time hot. He did the same to me and the day after he took off home. I was never attracted to him, it was just pleasurable.

A few weeks after, he came for another sleepover and we decided to play game where, we would cover our eyes and grab the other persons finger and put it on whichever body part. So you can imagine what happened, he grabbed my finger and put it on his dick and I was like woah ok. That night, we experimented on stroking our dicks and I asked him if he wanted to fuck and he said yeah. From then on, he came from one more sleepover which ended our friendship, he wanted to fuck again and brought a condom, midway through he and I realised it was wrong and stopped.

When I turned 18 last October, I downloaded Grindr to meet with guys and fuck with them. There are 3 times where I have liked guys and that's only due to me having the thought of doing pleasurable things with them. I hope someone knows what I mean by, I am only into guys for pleasure but not actual love.

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(Disclaimer: Not a native English speaker so apologies in advance for the grammar ^^)

Gender:

Hi! I'm a 23-year-old autistic person who was announced female at birth but I don't like being called a woman most of the time because I feel like I'm just a person and I want to get rid of my uterus as well as my breasts. I don't really mind which pronouns are used when discussing me seeing as I dress somewhat according to women's millenial and gen-z stereotypes. And in any case I only hear people refer to me by my name in person so I've never really had to think about it too much. Sometimes I get happy seeing the silhouette of my hips even though it looks feminine but most of the time I get bothered having any feminine traits such as my breasts in the chest area. They feel like foreign objects inhabiting my body against my wishes.

I don't want to be a man either. That's one thing I know for sure. I also identify with women quite a bit. I have similar life experiences and emotions with the girlies in my life but there are also many things I don't relate to. With that being said I still have the feeling that I don't want to be considered anything but a person. That's all my thoughts on my own gender identity and I don't know where that fits. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know! ^^

And now to sexuality:

Ever since I was a little child I've always had crushes on boys and men which gave me butterflies. I liked staring at girls my age too but I never got butterflies from any of them. When I was around 12 I thought if I ever wanted a boyfriend I must practice not being repulsed by their genitalia so I spent some time watching adult content on websites to train myself to like their physique. (At this point I was growing up in a homophobic environment so liking girls wasn't even a concept in my mind) The exposure therapy didn't exactly work that well because I've never been attracted to male genitalia and seeing a fully naked man has always been a bit of a turn off. I then discovered woman on woman action on those sites and that is the only footage that has caused any arousal in me.

I've had many boyfriends by now and sex has always been a struggle. I will intially have a crush on the person and want to experience attraction and sexuality with that man but even during the action itself I lose interest and I've never really enjoyed it that much. I get overwhelmed with physical sensations and it turns uncomfortable very quickly. Nowadays I mostly get attracted to men if they are fully clothed and even better if they wear a mask that covers at least some of their face. If I start imagining them undressing I instantly lose attraction.

I've had one girlfriend which wasn't that serious as it was both of our first time with a woman and we didn't feel comfortable with our bodies to try anything sexual. I've never been intimate with a woman. The most I've done is kiss them and not even made out. I don't know if I'm attracted to women either but female physique has always grabbed my attention. Usually when I want to get in the mood I think of either women in any clothing or even naked or then men who are fully clothed and wearing masks.

Sex has never been of importance to me and I don't like it if my parner were to require sex in our relationship because sometimes I am a sexual person for a few weeks or a couple of days but there might also be times where I don't have any sex drive what so ever for many weeks or even months.

(I don't know if it matters but I have experienced sexual trauma from 2 different individuals at different times in my teenage years. I did however lose my virginity with consent although it was unpleasant)

I'm so confused about all of this because I feel like none of the titles I've heard of describe me precisely so I'd be glad to hear any opinions or insights from others as to what am I. Thank you for reading and responding! ^^

I [17F] am confused. I’ve questioned my sexuality for a while but it really came back to me when I listened to Chappell Roan’s new song, “Good Luck Babe,” and felt really called out by the lyrics: “You can kiss a hundred boys in bars. Shoot another to shot, try to stop the feeling. You can say it’s just the way you are. Make a new excuse, another stupid reason.”

As a kid, I had celebrity crushes on popular male celebrities and I would choose boys at my school to have a crush on. I’d just choose objectively the cutest/nicest boy so I could have someone on the top of my head when people asked me if I had a crush. When I was 8, I used to watch Haley Kyoko’s “Girls Like Girls” music video over and over to watch the two actresses kiss.

I started questioning as I got older and started getting interested in sex. I tried to watch straight porn but it just seemed so disgusting so I watched lesbian porn until I could acclimate myself to straight porn. But I’d always focus on the women and not so much the men. As I got into high school, I was infatuated with certain girls and boys who were my classmates and I’d just have the biggest crushes on them. When I was 15, I got obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend, so I got one and I hated it. I didn’t actually like him and it was such a chore. I started question if I liked girls, which I realized I did. At first, I thought I was only attracted to women, but I was still attracted to male celebrities so I thought I was bi, but not attracted to my boyfriend at the time.

A year later, I realized I had feelings for my best friend, who was a girl, and we dated and I felt romantic attraction for the first time. We ended up breaking up and this past summer, I started booking up with a guy. I just couldn’t enjoy it unless I was high and when he went down on me, I couldn’t get wet (I usually had no issues). Since then, I haven’t been with anyone else, but I keep fantasizing. I fantasize about being in a relationship with a man, but I can’t tell if I actually like men or if I like the aesthetic of a straight relationship.

I can’t imagine myself loving a man or being happy in a relationship with a man. When I think of being in love, I think of a relationship with a woman. When I imagine being in a relationship with a man, I think of myself settling and not actually being in love with him. That’s why Chappell Roan’s song bothered me. I feel like men are easily accessible and I don’t really care about them, so it’s easy to get with them, but I don’t know if I actually like them. I’m attracted to male celebrities more than female celebrities, but in real life, I’m more attracted to women.

In the song, the bridge says: “When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night with your head in your hands, you’re nothing more than his wife. And when you think about me all those years ago, you’re standing face to face with “I told you so.” That just feels exactly like I imagine my future with a man, longing for love with a woman.

I’m confused.

So this one gym influencer on tiktok who has 8k followers got into an argument with me about some gym shit and when he was losing he just started to be flat out racist with me. I want to post the screenshots somewhere to where people can see them because actions have consequences.

My entire life, I’ve been very intrigued by femme or androgynous men. Later in life, I realized I was interested in women as well. All of this culminated into me figuring out I greatly disliked heteronormativity, and had been suppressing my attraction to women due to being raised in a homophobic environment.

Of course, my main focus is always connection. I want to believe gender isn’t important to me in the long run, but I’ve noticed a distinct difference between men and women when it comes to how I connect with them.

With men, I’m hyperfixated on the idea of being a domme for a sub guy. I don’t ever want to be in a stereotypical hetero relationship. However, I don’t actually like dick, which has caused me a lot of confusion with my attraction to men. It’s almost as if I like men through the eyes of a dominant man myself? It’s something I can’t quite explain, but it’s odd to me that liking men feels gay, as a woman. There’s also the fact I suddenly hate being a woman if I’m with a man, and I don’t like the idea of having a husband or boyfriend.

With women, I understand the hype of romance and love. All types of connection with women is amazing, whether physical, sexual, or emotional. I don’t feel an urge to be a domme all the time with a woman though. It’s more like I want to do whatever she wants to do, whether it’s vanilla or not. I actually like being a woman when I’m in the company of women as well. It’s as if suddenly I have gender euphoria, which is weird considering I’ve never cared much for my assigned gender. As much as I love the idea of having a girlfriend or wife (and frequently fantasize about a domestic life with a woman) I can’t help but feel this sense of being ‘left out’ if I’m not thinking about men anymore.

I’m very confused on how I truly feel. Has anyone else struggled with something similar? How did you figure out if you were straight, gay, or bi?

I used to listen to mtf audio tracks for gender euphoria (cringe ik) and they would give me euphoria but after a while its just stopped. This has happened for other stuff as well. I still enjoy it I just don't get the warm and intense happiness that I got before. I'm confused on whether this is also somehow being caused by my brain overthinking my feelings and double questioning them.

Hi all.

I'm a 37yo (M) who's currently in a long term relationship with a (F). I'm after abit of advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

Iv been into guys as long as I can remember, like since my early teens. I had a few experiences as well in my teens but always found myself gravitating more towards women.

In school I was the jock athletic type, always good at sports, popular with girls and confident in myself and with anyone I talked or engaged with.

I first had sex with girls at 15 and a guy at 17. Although I really enjoyed the sex with a guy I still felt more drawn to women at that time but still enjoyed sex with men.

I met my current partner at 19yo. I told her early on into our relationship that I am bisexual and have engaged in sex with both guys and girls. She was cool with that.

As the years have rolled on iv noticed there's been a shift. My porn of choice back in the day was str8 but always loved watching the girls give head and often found myself staring at the cock rather then focusing on the woman, then moved on to bi/trans porn, fast forward to now where I am only watching nothing but gay porn as it's the only thing that arouses me.

I did a few times stray with guys during the early years of our relationship which I was fully loyal and committed to prior to that, but my temptations eventually got the better of me and found myself needing a release with guys. I eventually told my partner out of guilt on each occasion to which she eventually decided to open our relationship for me to engage in sex with men when I feel the need. (Iv allowed her the same freedom with guys)

Fast forward to now and I feel my sexual preferences have possibly shifted more to guys. I still feel sexually attracted and emotionally attached to my partner but I seem to be craving sex with men more then I do her. I have no desire in other women, any opportunity I'm alone I find myself either watching gay porn, using toys or meeting up with a couple of regular guys i see for fun.

We still have a good sex life, at least once or twice a week on average. Sometimes though I can struggle to get or stay hard when we're engaging in sex. however when im with guys l'm always hard no problems at all.

Any advice on this as to where l'm at is greatly appreciated.

Thanks. XX

So I’m a guy but I’m looking to see how to come across as more feminine or get a bigger ass or even down to if I should take estrogen pills

I am F21, all my life I have felt a sexual attraction to women and had a few romantic crushes too. I could never really picture what it would be like to date a woman, but I developed genuine feelings, most of the time when I already knew a girl was bi or lesbian. I’m not sure if I was attracted just to the validation, or maybe developed sexual attraction to women because of how sexualized they are in porn? Anyways, I have always been sure i’m attracted to men, and when I was 15 I got a boyfriend. I went on birth control around the same time and i kind of forgot about my attraction to women. The thought of 2 women together still turned me on, but it was less intense i guess? Anyways, a few months ago I went off of my birth control, and I found myself kind of attracted to my friend (F20, very feminine) and also recently fantasizing about dating really butch women. I just made the connection right now, and the timeline makes perfect sense. I have also heard that some straight women find themselves attracted to different types of men when they are on and off of birth control. There have been studies on this and it is usually an attraction to more feminine looking men on birth control i think? If anyone knows anything about this subject please let me know!

Hey all,

I am AMAB and probably cis but long term questioning and maybe non-binary or agender. For most of my life one of the things that makes me feel very kind of cozy is the idea of sapphic romance. I often wish I was a lesbian. But I’m never sure if I’m just a man fetishizing lesbians (so I should forget about it and stop being a creep) or if it’s there’s something else there? Is there anyone else who has worked through an issue like this?

Appreciate it!

Sorry this is so long, I’ve never laid it all out like this. I’m not even sure where to begin. I’ve never thought I was straight exactly. Growing up I had very intense, intimate relationships with my female friends. One right after the other, from the age of 12 through the end of college. These friendships were between me and one other person, involved deep emotional connections, and often excessive physical (sometimes sexual) contact. Carrying on into college, I had more casual sexual encounters with women/femmes. All of this clearly sounds like I’m falling into the wlw sphere.

HOWEVER

I have only “officially” dated men (and boys when I was a girl). I’ve been in 4 long term relationships with men, including my current relationship. I know it’s shitty, but I was engaged in the above “friendships” while dating the first three guys. At the time I guess I was delegitimizing my queerness so it didn’t feel like I was cheating. Really shitty.

My third long term relationship was very unhealthy. We were young (19-21) and he had a less than ideal upbringing in more than one way. I ended up alienating most of my friends and family as a result. He cheated on me and I was devastated. When we broke up it took well over a year to heal and I was not able to rebuild many relationships I had lost. When I finally started dating again, I began casually going out with women but never got far. I was terrified of how to behave around them in a romantic context rather than a “friendly” one.

Now, I’m in a very caring partnership with a man. We live together and practice healthy relationship habits. I love him. I am attracted to him. I am so comfortable with him that I feel okay to discuss my sexuality with him. We decided to pursue nonmonagamy together?? I know it’s cliche and gross, but we genuinely were open to dating anyone we were both attracted to, and it turns out that I was only interested in women.

A woman he went to school with slid in his DMs a few weeks ago. I told him to tell her that I thought she was pretty and she was surprisingly into both of us?? We have gone out and slept with her a few times now and I really like her. It’s not one of those situations where I’m questioning my current relationship, just like I get butterflies for her in a different kind of way? She makes us both feel so good and I know the feeling is mutual. I’ve never had a woman to be so openly flirtatious and affectionate with. It’s really great.

Tbh I’m kind of having a personal crisis as a result though. Up to this point I think I’ve been able to skate by saying that I’m “experimenting,” but I think I’ve run enough tests by by now. Honestly I’m having a really hard time claiming an identity when I’m in a ‘straight’ relationship and that has been the majority of my relationship experience. It feels icky claiming queer or bi as a label when I have privilege for dating a man.

Also, I hear the way my lesbian friends talk about bisexual women that date men and I’m scared I fall into that group. Ugh, is it worth labeling myself if that label is going to alter how the people I care about see me?? Also am I even gay enough for a label?

I have been thinking about making a burner account and making this post for weeks I’m finally doing it now. I am on my phone, sorry for the format.

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Growing up, I never thought twice about being anything but straight until I started looking up girls kissing on youtube, and now I can count on one hand the amount of times I have watched straight porn. I have had friendships with girls that have felt way too intimate but I always chalked it up to us just being girls. I have no doubt in my mind that theres at least a part of me that is fully attracted to girls. I recently found Chappell Roan and have been scream crying the lyrics to “good luck babe“ in my room since it came out. I have never had the opportunity to seriously even kiss a woman, the only thing I have done is give one of my girl friends a peck on the lips and giggle for a video. I follow lesbian couples on instagram and tiktok and I feel so envious of their love.

This is where the dilemma comes in.

I have been on and off with my boyfriend (20M) since we were in middle school. We have been together (on and off) for seven years. We were broken up for a good one and a half year(s?) during high school and reconnected our senior year, while we were broken up I was in my soul searching part of my life and social media and friends all knew that I identified as bisexual. I was that kind of girl that would say “yeah I would do things with a girl, but I don’t think I could ever date one.” Now I’m older, and have done even more soul searching and am now completely questioning everything. I can’t picture myself being a that stereotypical nuclear household, it’s like my heart yearns to love a woman (?dkfjfhnwkso !?,sidfhs).

Me and my boyfriend have had our fair share of issues, we have broken up more than once. We have conflicting opinions on things that could be deal breakers to others, the last time we broke up I broke up with him and I told him it was because of our conflicting issues and that I was scared for our future. This sounds horrible but every time that we are broken up it’s almost like I have FOMO with him, I am so scared of what happens without me in his life. My thoughts are always “what if he IS the one and I’m going to regret not being with him for the rest of my life?“ We have had issues with our sex life in the past where he felt like I didn’t want it enough and I felt like he would unintentionally pressure me into it. I try to work past this but this issue is always creeping in the back of my mind whenever we are together. I don’t think that he would take it well if I even told him that I think I’m bisexual while we were together, let alone my feelings about being gay in general. I love my boyfriend but he’s the only thing that I have ever known with love and relationships. I feel guilty for having these thoughts because I have broken up with him before and it feels shitty having them again when I got back together with him, especially because we have always broken up during summer time and its nearing that time again.

Has anyone else gone through similar?

I go to bed every night thinking about laying there with a girl, sometimes during sex I can’t get off with him unless I think about him being a girl. My stomach is in knots every day because I feel like I’m lying to him. I’ve never told my family about these feelings that I have but I know most of them would be supportive, but once I do there isn’t going back so that’s why I‘m here. There was one time a few months ago I think that I was drunk and admitted to my big brother that I think I’m gay though, oops.

So this guy I met in college, I’m 29 now, so we met like when I was 20. We shared French kisses and I sucked his fingers in college. That’s about it. But we have always been texting each other. It’s hard to explain, I dated his friend back then. Recently the last text message was in March. But I have decided to ghost him. I just can’t take it anymore knowingly that we will never be together. So many factors, we live in different states, old grudges, etc. However, because we always use Facebook messenger to text each other, when I heard the messenger sound, I became so sensitive I thought it was from him. So I started to miss him. But I won’t text him anymore! I promised myself. And it’s also not fair to him, because in order to reason with myself, I said so many bad things about him. So that’s it. But I still miss him sometimes. I hope someone understands me.

Hello,

Since around the age of 14-15 (I am currently 20 now). I realized I had an attraction to not only Cis Women, but Trans Women, and Femboys.

After talking about it with a couple friends, one mentioned a label that stood out to me “Gynesexual”.

My sexual/romantic attractions are open to (not actively since I’m in a relationship) Cis Women, Trans Women, and Femboys.

Does that label sound correct?

Genitalia doesn’t matter to me as long as my partner is feminine in nature.

I'm questioning my sexuality. I'd like to think I'm straight, but femboys and transexuals turn me on. I'm a teenager, that's all I'll disclose about that. I really need help, as I am a Christian. I'm talking, "go to church on days that aren't Sunday" Christian. I just need help. Any thoughts?

So I’m AFAB and I’m a young teen. I kinda assume that I’m just cis but I have a few doubts . I can’t exactly explain why but I kinda feel like I experience gender dysphoria .I wish to be a guy, have a more masculine figure,etc but I don’t really feel that comfortable with the idea of identifying as the opposite gender (I also still usually go by she/her and sometimes they/them) and I just call myself a ‘tomboy’ instead .Also I kinda wish my body wasn’t exactly gendered and have a more androgynous appearance(??).

Growing up, I was a very sexually curious kid. I really liked girls a lot and from a young age, I would fantasize about women and masturbate to the thought of them. I would sneak my mum’s victory secret magazines and try to draw them in my notebook so that I could have something to look at when I couldn’t get them. From the age of 10 up until my sophomore year of college it was like this.

Then, one day, the girl I really liked broke my heart and I started to feel as though I couldn’t trust women (or anyone for that matter). I always struggled with social anxiety, so part of it was on me for being naive and foolish for letting her keep me on the hook like that. One day, I was smoking weed with some friends of mine and I started wondering why I was so quiet and antisocial and suddenly a thought popped into my head, “What if I’m quiet and antisocial because I’m actually gay?” That caused me to freak out and go into complete anxiety mode and that stuck with me for the next 6+ years. It became an obsessive thought in my head. Everyday, I would watch myself; how I walked, how I talked, how I sat, my mannerisms. I was under my own microscope to see if they’re were any ”signs”. My attitudes towards my friends changed. I started avoiding people altogether. I had panic attacks due to this and would skip class just to sleep because at least I’d feel normal in my dreams.

In turn, this lead to a loss of libido that seems to have persisted. Sometimes, I have a period where I’m feeling good and can “play” in my imagination. My dreams oriented around intimate interactions with women return and things feel good and “right” for me. But it doesn’t last long. Something always triggers a return to that loss of libido and I doubt myself and my affections towards women and worry that it’s because I might be suddenly turning gay - you know, suddenly as in ”over the course of 10 years”.

The thing is, I’ve tried making out with men to see how that would go or using my imagination/porn to get aroused/check to see if that would do it? Nothing. In fact, it was not a great experience at all, with each sequential kiss feeling worse than the last. I’d also be fine with being gay if that were actually the case. I have friends and family who would support that, so I don’t really understand the confusion, here. If I’m gay, then why can’t I just be gay? Why do I exclusively get turned on by women and, no matter how hard I try, never men. It’s like everything has gotten jumbled up in my head and it’s caused a lot of pain, uncertainty, and has destroyed my confidence.

Anyone else experience anything like this? Could it be from exposure to porn from a young age? I just want to go back to normal. How I was before all of this shit happened…

What's wrong with me?/ about falling in love

I've almost never felt Butterflies in my stomach. Because of this, I'm not sure if I liked anyone at all. I had nervousness and a fast heartbeat when I was walking with the boys (I'm female), but I didn't want to be closer to them, I didn't want to kiss them or hold their hand. Did that mean I was attracted to them? I started dating them, but I didn't think about it all day, I didn't want to kiss them, my relationship always ended after a month because I just didn't feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with him.

I don't have much nervousness with girls (maximum nervousness about whether I look good before meeting her). We kind of acted like friends, but for some reason I wanted to be more than friends, and I often thought about my friend. I didn't have butterflies in my stomach next to Her (there were only if she did/said something romantic and sweet, then I was ready to jump with happiness and emotion). Does this happen to close friends? When she kissed me on the cheek, I was returning home very happy, I felt warmth in my chest and happiness. Such romantic hints didn't happen to us too much and So for the most part we were more like friends, but for some reason I didn't like it, I don't know why. Perhaps I imposed on myself that I was in love with her and in fact these are platonic feelings.

But feelings towards men are physically similar to falling in love, but psychologically I didn't want to be with them. with a girl on the contrary: physically it doesn't look like falling in love with, but psychologically I wanted more

P.S : I liked fantasies about intimacy with a Woman. but sometimes, my attraction to these fantasies disappears, but then I like it again and it is very pleasant to think about it

I’ve been questioning my gender for multiple years now. I’m 19 currently, and can remember ever since I was a kid (I was assigned female at birth) that I didn’t really like being considered a girl. I know I struggled with internalized misogyny, so it’s difficult to tell if my feelings are moreso related to despising the stereotypes forced upon me or if it’s something more.

I recently discovered I’m intersex, and have more male hormones than “typical” females. This also has made it difficult to figure out my gender, as I’m unsure if my male hormones are affecting the way I feel about myself. I think it’s worth noting that sometimes, few and far between, I feel comfortable in saying I’m a woman, a girl, she/her. But I’ve found that most of the time, I get this sort of happy feeling when someone calls me boy and he/him. I also don’t mind they/them, but it doesn’t give me quite that same feeling.

She/her doesn’t make me aggressively uncomfortable, but it makes me feel sorta weird, for lack of a better descriptor. I’m okay with it, though.

He/him makes me feel kinda happy, and I don’t correct people online when they call me by these pronouns.

They/them I’m completely fine with/neutral about, it doesn’t upset me, nor make me feel giddy. It’s perfectly fine.

Writing all of this makes me think I’m probably not a woman lol- but there’s something that’s holding me back from saying that. I’m not confident in saying I’m a trans man, I’m uncertain about being non-binary, and when I disregard my body and how people perceive me, in my mind I don’t see a woman, nor am I entirely sure that I see a man. I feel some connection to being a woman, and occasionally I feel comfortable in saying that I am one, but a lot of the time I just feel kinda stuck in between. Sometimes I daydream about having surgery done, taking T, or something to appear more masculine than I already do, but other days I feel almost scared of such an idea, unsure whether I’ll regret altering my body or not, especially my voice.

I might be a huge egg right now that is unwilling to crack, because saying all of this makes it seem so obvious that I can’t be cis. But if I’m not cis, then I still don’t know what I am. I wish I had the ability to change my body, appearance, voice, whatever whenever I wanted, so that I could look like however I feel in that given moment.

Idk man gender is weird. And I get that I’m young and shouldn’t stress about it, but it’d just be nice to figure it out. I already feel pretty confident in my sexuality and romantics, but when it comes to gender, I feel like an amorphous shape trying to find the hole that I can rest in which fits me just right. But every hole is just squares, triangles, circles, diamonds. None of them really click.

So basically I used to be extrovert and very bubbly person ( I still am but a lot less). I used to love meeting people and talking to them , getting to know abt their life etc etc. However I have gotten hurt so many times by people especially online. Guys with whom I was talking mostly used fake pics with me, idk why it happened with me only , but I used to talk to them for hours and months and they never told me that they were using fake pics. I beleived them whenever they said that they don't wanna show their face on video call bcz they are not comfortable , coz I didn't wanted to force them. Most of these guys also asked me for my nude pictures and yes I had sexual relations with most of the guys I talked to romantically. I didn't do it bcz I wanted to , I did it bcz I was afraid , that if I said no to sexual things , they will leave me or lose interest in me. It has happened too , that whenever I say no to guys for sexual things , they start replying me so late , or just one word answers , or completely leave me. I shared my body with them ( pics) bcz I wanted them to stay with me , I really wanted a romantic connection with someone who genuinely cared abt me. I thought using my body will make them stay also make them love me. Whenever they asked for Video call, I did it and showed my body to help them fulfill their horniess. They didn't even opened their videos or sometimes they didn't even opened their mic, they just texted me what they wanted to say. Yes I kinda knew that they were here for body , but I was very desperate for love, I wanted someone to talk to me and love me and I did things that made people stay with me.I don't do this now bcz I just don't have energy to show my body everytime guy feels horny. And months after doing this , I got to know somehow that the guys I am talking to were using fake pics and kept lying to me again and again. I used to ask them too "if you are using fake pics , pls tell me , pls don't hurt me later", yet they kept playing with my feelings. One after another , so many guys did the same things. Atleast 6-7 guys or maybe more. Then I had guys who screenshoted or screen recorded the video calls or my pics and videos ( ofc without clothes) and when I said no to sexual things , they used it against me. They kept blackmailing me into doing sexual things with them even when I had periods ,even when I had fever. One guy even asked me to eat body lotion and when I said what!!! He said eat it , otherwise yk what is gonna happen. I have blocked these dudes after so much sexual harrasment by them but some of them actually took it to next level. One guy made a fake account with my profile picture and bio said " Send me message for my nude pictures and vids" and then that account also sent request to all of my classmates and freinds. One guy did same things , however he also added my number and everything and wrote bio " I am slut , call me on this number to have fun". That account also tagged all my classmates and friends. I got so many random messages and calls that day. I have been broken so many times bcz of these incidents , guys keep lying to me , keep asking for body , no guy stays with me without my body. I have friends offline also but idk why they also have someone more close which lead them stay with them more rather than me. In trio , I am always the left one. In group , no one individually talks to me. I always initiate conversations and also joke around and act nicely , yet people get kinda bored staying and talking with me , yet they are happy staying with someone else. Be it a female friend or male friend , it is same scenario. It has lead me to point that now I just always stay alone. I have tries apps like Omegle also , but there also people keep skipping me and only guys who stay are horny af and they also skip me after they are done. I have tried to keep my heads up but I am very very broken down inside even now. Now I don't talk to anyone online , offline I just go to university and come back , no outing or anything else. I hage kinda started to live alone only by myself. I don't share my feelings with anyone at all , I just keep them to myself. All that extrovert nature of mine to meet new people is slowly going away. By energy to meet people is going away. I have become a quiet person and my bubbly nature is also going away. Can anyone just give me advice or just tell me how to cope with it?

This might be a bit of a mess. I'm a little drunk and I just feel like I need to vent as I don't have a support network for this IRL. The more time goes on the less I feel like I can ignore this or put it off. I just want an answer as the uncertainty is killing me and I want to move on with my life. If I'm trans I'd just like to know so I can do something about it. If I'm just cis, well then I don't know what. Maybe I just need to learn to like myself as a man. Honestly though, the idea that I could just be cis seems a little unsatisfying for some reason. That often makes me feel like I'm not trans, but just want to be for some reason.
I feel like I'm stuck. When my best friend/partner told me they are NB a couple years ago it sort of sent me into a spiral of questioning my own gender. About a year ago I told them I think I might also be NB, but I didn't mention the trans woman part because they aren't really into women AFAIK. There were maybe a few things before then that could have been signs, but back then the idea that I could be anything other than a man was about as possible as me growing wings and learning to fly. It still feels impossible. At the moment I'd probably say it's likely I'm non-binary of some sort, but I also think I could be a trans woman. The problem is that I have a hard time accepting that. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to see myself as anything but a man. I feel like I'm crazy for even considering I might not be a man.
I don't really understand what it means to feel like one gender or another. I suppose I feel like I'm a man, or at least I feel like I'm supposed to be a man. This was fine for me until I started to confront my own transphobia. I feel like there are still a lot of those old transphobic thoughts that I have trouble getting over. I don't feel like I really understand gender now that I've broken out of such a binary way of thinking of it. Like if things like presentation, pronouns, genitals, etc. don't determine gender, then what does? And why are these things people always suggest experimenting with? I don't mean to sound all "what is a woman?", but like how do I know? Is it just how I feel? Like I said what does it even mean to feel like a man or a woman or NB for that matter? I don't think I really understand how I feel so what am I supposed to do now? I've been thinking about therapy to help with this, but even that scares me. Should I look for a therapist that specializes in gender identity. Would a therapist who's queer themselves be enough? Should I just find a general therapist?
I guess the first time I "questioned" my gender was in middle school, but there were maybe signs before. I remember hearing the question what would you do if you were a woman for a day on some podcast. One of the hosts jokingly said that he'd lock himself in a room and play with himself all day. I remember thinking that I'd try that too, but I also remember thinking it would be a waste to not experience everyday life as a woman. I remember wishing that I could at least try being a woman for a while. Would I have wanted it permanently? I don't know. It was never a possibility though, so after a day or two I just put it out of my mind and I don't think I thought about it much after that until the past couple years.
I feel like there has always been some sort of sexual aspect to this curiosity as well. A lot of the original curiosity (and even now) had/has to do with being physically transformed into a woman. Like I said, it never felt possible, but since learning about HRT maybe it's more possible that I realize. I will admit that I'm a little curious about HRT. I think I'd maybe like having boobs if I didn't read as a man with boobs, being more curvy, softer skin also sound nice. From what I hear HRT can also improve orgasms for some people which sounds nice, but who wouldn't want better orgasms? A lot of these curiosities feel very sexual though and it makes me feel like I'm just fetishizing transitioning, or the female body or something. I feel like I might just be some weird pervert. I don't really know what to make of it, and hormones don't really seem like something to fuck around with, so I feel like I need to be 100% sure before taking that step. I don't think I'll ever be that certain though.
I've experimented a little bit. Painted nails, bought a skirt, grown out my hair, etc. I guess I like how it makes me feel. Like I feel cute in the skirt and I like the way my fingers/toes look painted, but when I look in the mirror with the skirt on I just look ridiculous. I like it in private, but I don't think I could do it around others. I'd just look like a man in a skirt with painted nails. People would think its weird and I'm a coward. I've always feared judgement, and that has kept me from being myself, whoever that person may be. I don't have what it takes to transition even if that ends up being something I want or need to do.
If I could start life over from the beginning as a woman, maybe I would. If I could just wake up tomorrow as a woman and nothing in my life would change I think I'd maybe do it. Why though? Maybe I just dislike myself so much I'd rather be literally anyone else. I know about the magic button question. I think I'd maybe hit the button. There's no way for me to just magically become a woman though and transitioning sounds so hard. Everyone's always known me as a man and that will never change. It doesn't even feel possible for me to see myself as anything but a man, so maybe that means I am just cis. I have no clue anymore. I haven't been in a very good place the last few years and I feel like that is likely making all of this worse. I have no support system IRL though and so It's basically just been me making very similar ranty posts like this various places online for a year or two now and I never really make much progress. I feel like such a mess and I don't know what to do anymore.

So my sister in law invited me to a concert last minute but it’s a 21+ concert. My brother said I couldn’t go bc I need to be with my “ legal guardian” but I’m 20 so technically I’m my own adult? I’m just wondering if I could go to the concert with her or not. Please help!!!

Bit of a rant, not sure if it’ll end up making sense, for a bit of background im 18F. But all throughout my life i’ve never really had an interest in anyone. I never had any of those cartoon or celebrity crushes as a kid that people would talk about having, no definite “sexual awakening” or anything either. I knew i was interested in girls regardless though, even though there wasn’t any particular person i had my eye on.

I had my first and only crush? at around 13/14 on a girl in some of my classes. We weren’t friends, but i very much wanted to be closer to her and the crush lasted over a year. Only issue though is i’ve really never had any crush since, and it’s making me question whether i ever did have a crush on her in the first place. I’m worried that i made it up so i wouldn’t feel like i’m missing out on that experience.

I’m just very confused, because i very very much want to be in a relationship, and i’ve tried to find any romantic or sexual interest in the people around me but i just don’t feel anything. I’ve kissed one person and kind of made out with another, but both times i felt nothing and honestly didn’t really enjoy it that much. I think i would if it was with someone i was romantically involved with, but that’s kind of hard when i never have those feelings toward anyone. I’m just kind of worried at this point that i’m going to end up alone for my whole life.

I just don’t know why my brain refuses to love people in that way. I love my platonic friendships a great deal, i would do absolutely anything for them but it always hurts to know that i’ll always be second place whenever they get into a romantic relationship. I understand and i don’t mean to complain but i wish i was someone’s first choice for once, and it doesn’t seem like that’ll ever happen if i continue to stay the way i am.