It's after 4am and this is my second try at a response, don't know what happened but my first try just disappeared, probably too long and too much mundane stuff anyway. First I want to thank those of you that offered suggestions and advice, you all helped make last evening way more than I hoped it would be. Things I did not do.....I didn't answer the door naked :)) Things my wife and I did do....we dressed for the occasion without underwear, for the first hour or so we just talked, got to know him better and found he and I had much in common, both ride motorcycles and love music. He is in process of divorce, seems his wife caught him blowing his neighbor and after a couple of months of counseling decided divorce was best. Took him to the garage and showed him my bikes and we swapped riding adventures. Back in the house I was showing him my record collection, wife was getting drinks and snacks together in the kitchen. I just pulled an LP out of the rack we had talked about and from behind I felt his hands on my waist and his body against mine. I turned around and he kissed me. just a quick peck at first but I surprised myself and returned his kiss, never thought I could do that but it was exciting, very exciting. In the middle of the kiss I heard my wife "Oh..oh, don't let me stop you." I feel I need to talk about all the details but this is already too long and I and don't want to bore you all with the details...unless you want them :)))

It's after 4am and this is my second try at a response, don't know what happened but my first try just disappeared, probably too long and too much mundane stuff anyway. First I want to thank those of you that offered suggestions and advice, you all helped make last evening way more than I hoped it would be. Things I did not do.....I didn't answer the door naked :)) Things my wife and I did do....we dressed for the occasion without underwear, for the first hour or so we just talked, got to know him better and found he and I had much in common, both ride motorcycles and love music. He is in process of divorce, seems his wife caught him blowing his neighbor and after a couple of months of counseling decided divorce was best. Took him to the garage and showed him my bikes and we swapped riding adventures. Back in the house I was showing him my record collection, wife was getting drinks and snacks together in the kitchen. I just pulled an LP out of the rack we had talked about and from behind I felt his hands on my waist and his body against mine. I turned around and he kissed me. just a quick peck at first but I surprised myself and returned his kiss, never thought I could do that but it was exciting, very exciting. In the middle of the kiss I heard my wife "Oh..oh, don't let me stop you." I feel I need to talk about all the details but this is already too long and I and don't want to bore you all with the details...unless you want them :)))

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. Is it just me, or do we never outgrow this? 🤣

Im in a 8 year monogamous relationship that is going well. We love and respect each other in a healthy way. Everything is good and I am happy. A few months ago I changed jobs and met a person that makes my heartrate go up. Everything about them is good and I can’t help but being mesmerized. When I see them smile I get happy… I haven’t felt like this since my first love (which ended up badly since there were very intense feelings and the relationship became toxic) and I never thought I would ever feel like that and that it was something related to being young and foolish. I think it is mutual because of this person giving hints (or maybe subconsciously I want to see hints). They are in a 12 year relationship and engaged but don’t seem very happy with it. I’m extremely confused and overwhelmed with all these feelings. I can’t sleep and my body shakes when I’m close to them and at the same time I feel like I’m cheating on my partner even though I didn’t do anything. It’s horrible.

Someone else is experiencing or has experienced the same? In that case, how did you handle it?

When I was a teenager Playboy had a story called 'Pussy Whipped' featuring sculptured women's pubic hair and landing strips. It was so good that my girlfriend and I immediately started shaving our pubes. I still keep a sexy triangle landing strip to this day. I think it's very sexy (and it hides a slight dimple/depression I have at the bottom of my abdomen where my dick starts.

Advise: Wife and I happily married. We wanted to spice things up and invited a woman into our bed. Was great! All had fun. Wife invited said woman and I feel that was more for my pleasure. I would like to return the favor and invite a man into our bed. I’ve never been with a man let alone even touched another man’s cock. I’m not opposed to it and think it may be fun. Do I let a man fuck me, suck me, jerk me? Do I reciprocate? Thinking maybe let the wife run the show. Ideas? Advise?

Im a cis bi guy. Im married to a gay guy and only ever been in relationships with other men.

I think of my own feelings of sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Im only romantically into guys but sexually interested in guys and people who aren't guys. If we're getting technical im bisexual homoromantic or homoflexible or kinsey 5 or just bi.

If I isolate just my sexual attractions a moment I think of them as desire for particular bodies. I physically experience attraction to different types of physical bodies, I'm attracted to the anatomy of a person. I can feel sexually attracted to a person regardless of their gender expression.

In other words regardless of how masculine, feminine, or andogynous the person acts/looks etc. I can still find them attractive if their anatomy is attractive or conversely I may not find them attractive if their anatomy is not attractive. I've always thought of sexual orientation as the attraction to particular physical bodies regardless of performances of gender.

Do other people feel the same? Or do other people feel like sexual orientation is attraction to gender expression i.e. masculinity, feminity, or androgyny regardless of the body that expresses it?

If so I almost wonder if the term sexual orientation is trying to encompass different things that don't belong together i.e. the attraction to bodies and attraction to gender expression.

I'm in a monogamous relationship with a guy who is great. His dick is amazing, and I have no complaints about our relationship or sex life.

I've never been with a woman, but I have been with trans men before and I always had fun especially with oral. Sucking an engorged tdick/clit is a completely different kind of satisfaction than what you get from sucking a cis guy's dick and making him orgasm just from oral is much more fulfilling.

Firstly please don't mistake this post for misgendering, this is just not a topic that most gay men online can empathize with as they tend to be very "anti-vagina" for lack of a better term (transphobic doesn't really explain it well enough) but I figured bi men would relate more to this situation. I'm fully aware that not all trans men have or want their natal parts and I completely respect that and don't wish to offend anyone.

Anyway, I love my sex life and I love my partner and I want to stay monogamous. But still I can't do those things with him. How does one cope with this feeling? Porn? 😅

Tried cross posting but it wouldn't let me

A while ago I made my first post here about knowing I was gay since around 2018, to all of a sudden being bi.

Well since then, I haven't really thought much of women. I a man. Nearly everyday I see men I think are good looking and will check them out. But yet I barely ever see a woman in the same light. So lately I have been doubting myself if I a bi. Which is frustrating me again, just like I was in my previous post.

I went from knowing I was gay and thinking I was just that. To then thinking I was bi, to now thinking that perhaps I am just gay. I know about the bi-cycle, but I am not sure if this it.

Is it possible to meet a woman and fall for them, and that could unlock my bisexuality?

I am interested in reading people's thoughts on this, especially if anyone here has experienced the same thing I am feeling.

Tbh, I wouldn't be surprised if deep down, I just want to be bisexual because it might making dating easier. I have not had the best luck so far in finding a man on apps. Either they are too far. Not compatible or just want sex. I am looking for a relationship and if I am attracted to women, that would significantly help my dating prospects big time.

I was doing a post yesterday about exchanging nudes with a guy. We had a quick videocall before to check out the vibe and I already could tell I was not feeling his vibe as I should have. He seemed completely ignorant and even asked if I had a big dick because I‘m black. I ignored all that because I wanted to have my first experience so bad and we already talked about when to meet. When we exchanged nudes he kept pushing for other pics. I said to him I‘m not feeling comfortable sending more and I want to do things at my own pace. He told me to not be insecure and stuff which was completely not what I was talking about. I than said don‘t you want to see this stuff in person and than he said come on just send it, your worse than a girl. Then I blocked him and everything. I feel dirty, I feel powerless, I feel angry and I feel disgusted. I always kept my guard up. For seven years I haven‘t tried out anything and now I just gave one of the biggest pieces of shit so much power over me. It‘s taken all my desire to even explore this possible side of me. I was already hesitant before about the possible risk of anyone finding out but now it would be embarassing to a level where in all honesty my life would be at risk. I feel like the biggest fool there is because my gut feeling clearly knew that this is not the right guy. My hornyness and curiosity just took completely over. I‘m even starting to feel awful about writing on here and am scared that anyone will see what I wrote here. You guys were awesome but I don‘t know if I‘ll come here again. Thank you for everything tho.

I came out to my wife and mom and everyone is cool. I think it’s almost harder for me to accept and I blame that how I was raised. I used to believe that people who were gay or bi was a choice. But I learned that’s not true. I guess that is what I get for drinking the kool-aid from churches. I mean hell in high school I was the president of Dare. Now I smoke weed daily. Yeah I know weed and cock are different. Although I’m proud to admit that I love dick and I don’t just want jerking off and blow jobs but I want it all. I don’t know yet if can fall in love with a man but who knows when and if I get permission to pursue. Who am I kidding. Deep down I know I can. But I’m a freak with a big sex drove. I get turned on the same with tits, pussy, ass, and really turned on when I see a cock and want to swim and drink cum. My own come will never see a towel again. But it’s not enough. Guys or girls, when you finally gave in and accepted it, did you hear a voice in your head asking yourself what the F are you doing. I’m not listening to it. If it’s a hole or pole I want it. What is everyone opinion?

Do you resonate?

For years I have labelled myself mainly bisexual. I had a 7 year long very jntimate relationship with a woman in my 20s. I am now 47.

I went on holiday recently with a reacquainted friend. They said they think I am gay and that I go for men more. This may well be true at times, yet I also feel assexual and more demisexual in some relationships.

Thoughts please 🙏

I'm about to realize a long time fantasy tonight. My wife approves as long as she's present. We have finally found who we think is the right guy after looking for awhile. I have zero experience with another guy and he has some experience. My question is, okay, we've found the guy and we will be hosting tonight, so how do we begin? I would like it to be sensual without romance but when He arrives what next? When he walks in the door do we just automatically strip down, is there some sort of small talk? I am really nervous but I want my first time with another guy to go smoothly and not look like a clumsy idiot.

I’m in my 50s and, today, did something I haven’t done since I was a teen: I got rid of most of my pubic hair. I’m not cleanly shaven, partially on purpose, because I remembered how itchy I got when the hair started to grow back when I shaved decades ago. But as I was trimming myself, and looking at myself, I started to feel sexier and I definitely got aroused doing it. I loved how I was starting to look (although I’m sure, for some, a few remaining ‘a tray pubes’ would be a turn off.) I’m not a super hairy guy but I’d never be mistaken for a twink either. So seeing myself like this is different and exciting. And although I’m bisexual, who’s mainly attracted to women, this really brought out my gay side to the fore. I kept thinking: I wonder if a guy would really like this? I know lots of gay and bi men are well groomed there. Is my reaction common?

Hi all 42 m Realised I was bi a couple of years back and I've been exploring what that means personally. I'm ready to start seeing men for the first time. Not sure how I'll go but I'm willing to try! Wish me luck!

So as of last few years the’ve embraced my bi side alot more passionately and have came to a conclusion that i’d like to try being a complete bottom(doing anal)with another man, i need to get a started toy to start getting ne prepared pr any advice guys? any advice on dating sites that dont cost too much and im really trying to avoid one time hook ups….any advice guys???

Is there a word for:

• an AMAB person
• who feels quite masculine in the upper half of his body, has a beard, loves his body hair, his muscles, his belly
• though loves nail polish and earrings and a nose ring
• and who feels from the waist down more feminine, enjoys skirts and thongs and soft fabrics that flow and move across the butt & legs
• and his penis feels both masculine and feminine depending on how he masturbates?

I don't feel the desire to transition. I love my body actually, as is. But I'm not sure if I fit the category of bigender, androgynous, gender non-conforming man, gender-non conforming NB, genderqueer, or if there's something else out there.

I'm bi but discovering myself to be more alterous/aesthetically/sensually attracted to men, but sexually, romantically, alterously attracted to women and enbys with mixed masc and femme traits, and high femme women and trans women.

I feel like I'm a mess!
Anyone have any thoughts?

TW: mental health problems

Sorry, me again. Need to scream into the void a bit haha. I’m just looking for some emotional support, maybe a pep talk and a hug lol

I’m 18m and autistic and SO TIRED!

To give context: I’ve been severely depressed for some time and suffer with panic disorder which makes it impossible for me to leave the house much. I’m not in school or work because of this, and don’t have a good relationship with family.

I’m trying to get psychological help for this and it is near impossible I swear! Was on the phone last night to a helpline, and found out that CAMHS (under 18s mental health services in UK) completely lied when they said they were handing me over to adult services and putting a referral in. They were meant to do it in December. I have now ONLY just been referred so won’t hear back from adult mental health services for months. I am beyond pissed about this honestly. I then was on the phone to primary care the other day and found out the waiting list for that help would be over 9 months.

I’m about to change my antidepressants because I’m not responding to the ones I’m currently on, but it can’t be much use if I’m also not receiving any sort of therapy or ACTUAL mental health support? Medication is only half the battle.

I’m feeling so upset and frustrated with the system. I’ve been to the GP like 10 times this year trying to get urgent mental help, but I’ve just been put on more waiting lists that I haven’t heard back from. It’s actually insane. I’ve rung so many helplines in the middle of the night when I was doing badly and I’m just not getting better.

I know this is above Reddit’s pay grade, but it does feel good to share my frustrations and stressors with people here. I don’t want to seem like I’m giving up, but I am seriously at a loss right now. All I have are some new meds, and MAYBE some therapy in 2025. I’ve spoken to mental health charities like Mind, and have tried to go private. I just cannot find support. And what’s worse is it’s incredibly difficult for me to travel because of panic disorder, which limits me, which in turn means I’m not getting treatment.

I am so so so close to just checking myself into a mental hospital just to be listened to. I feel like I’m going insane.

So- if anyone has any good pep talks or words of wisdom now is the time lmao. Trying to be positive but I’m losing it

So, I went to my local gay bar with a friend on Friday, I’m bi myself and I kind of have a good instinct on how to find a fluid/bi guy at the club, and I’ve been trying to find a total dom top who just loves bubble butt bottoms, so we can bro down together and use them. Anyways to my surprise, this bi guy was a total sissy bottom, crossdresser, dildo up the ass whole vibe but we were able to talk and he basically spilled his whole life story to me: he’s head of his hockey team, closeted, bi, sleeps with hot girls, has had a lot of hot girlfriends, was abused as a child and we were just bonding, talking until 4am - and he was so sweet to me like “Dude please help me get out of my shell, more, you have to help me.” Next morning, we were sexting a bit, showed him nudes of some hot guys i know. he loved it, we talked on the phone. Then. Ghosted. It’s had me shattered, like how could you be so intense and vulnerable and then rip that? Also I was whispering “good boy” in his ear, and he’s back in the bro world where his friends have no idea this stuff goes on. Am I ever going to hear from him again? I mean, I know how he feels and I did the same thing when I was younger but god, it’s so fucking rare to hang out with a non gay guy who is masculine and fluid like yourself who you can bro down and talk about Alexis Texas with but not hide queer sex talk from. I just don’t get it. Yes of course I’ve texted him multiple times since then with no reponse, I get that ghosting is crossing boundaries but wtf? Is it possible he was lying about the bi stuff and is just a gay bottom? I just don’t know what’s going on, I just wanna go back to before I sabotaged things. What do you think he could be going through and feeling?

I’ve been struggling with my sexuality all my life. While women turn me on deep down so does a man. This is the first time I’m putting this on the interwebs. I love the taste and feel of cum and want to have sex with men. I want my wife to be apart of it. I told her last night cause it’s been driving me crazy mentally. Been married for over 20 years and me and my wife have sex everynight. I almost nutted telling her. I’ve been on a weight loss journey for 3 months and down 77 pounds and getting my whole life right. Right this second I am at peace.

If you could find a way.

Okay enough of that, but seriously, what would you have done differently if anything? I've been reflecting on it lately, my college years would have been way different and less heteronormative. Probably would have had a different or additional group of friends too. Or maybe not, maybe I would have been more selective about the people I wanted in my life. Who knows, guess it doesn't matter in the end, but it is thought candy.

3 months ago i made a post here about how im a bi man who's a whistler, and i weirdly notice that most of the bi guys i know are to. I am from the countryside so it is common here, but most of the bi men ik are from online or lived in different places, This includes my current boyfriend (from NYC), 2 guys i dated, an ex of one of my exes, that ex's neighbor, who's also a bi man, two of my bf's friends, and two of my bf's exes. i asked this server if they are the same and a lot of you are. i also asked random bisexual men that i know and many also confirm my dumb theory.

A few days ago, i found out a guy that im in a discord server with is good at whistling and does it a lot, and we talked about it for a bit and i asked him if by any chance he was bi, and he was. even in fictional media too. i'm a big percy jackson fan and there's a character named will solace. if you don't know what percy jackson is about, it's basically about a bunch of kids who has only one parent be a greek god. will is canonally bisexual and has a boyfriend, and he's the son of apollo, and one of his only musical talents is whistling. percy jackson himself is head-canon to be bi by most fans (including me) and is good at whistling himself. both will and percy can finger whistle too. gumball from tawog is also canonally bi and is also good at listening.

bottom line is that im crazy, but im not wrong. i think it would be cool if this was kinda like a flannel, sweater weather, finger gun stereotype bc it's validation for me for being stupid and crazy about this theory, and it's just really dumb and fun.

Seems most of you guys have either discovered this part of you later in life and are looking for hook ups or fwbs.

Has anyone else had long-term relationships with men? Or gotten really attached?

I’m in my early 30s and my first real relationship was with a guy in high school. I then dated a woman for two years in college, and now I’m stuck on a guy I can’t be with due to conflicting values.

So I just haven’t had sex in 2.5 years cause I would rather do anything else than hook up. Even my therapist suggested it and I said no.

I guess I’m looking a subset within this community that I can relate to.

This is not purely sexual for me and idk if it is for you guys, but that’s how it seems with the posts I’m seeing. Which isn’t “wrong”, I just have a lot of feelings lol.

I’m not into the whole LGBT culture thing and my sexual orientation is one of the smaller parts of my personality in general but I started reading some threads about bisexual tropes out of boredom and holy shit, I felt personally attacked. It started with a post about peace signs being a bisexual signal, which I often throw up, but then also finger guns, having a male bob haircut, cuffing my jeans AND my shirts, thumbs ups (which I actually do more than finger guns), flannel shirts, and lemon bars/lemon flavored desserts in general. All of those. I do all of those.

What the fuck? What’s the psychology behind this stuff? What boxes do you guys check? What are other stereotypes and tropes?

It doesn't help that I am not out, older... blah blah. So there is this friendly neighbor. I don't hang with him but chatting recently and he did a few of those lightly lean into someone momentarily things during banter. The first 2 I didn't really notice at the time but the 3rd was like what's this? Then we left very shortly after. Generally I ask then, I get variables. Is this something or just wishful thinking.

How do you take the next step?

Hello

I saw a post not too long ago about someone who basically described the same dilemma as me.

I am bi.

I accepted that not too long ago. But my sexuality is weird. Basically I am aroused by guys but not shirt genitals. I would never date or have sex with a guy but often feel attracted to some and want to kiss them and stuff. I’m romantically and sexually attracted to women.

My problem is I am struggling with feelings of invalidity because I feel like what I’m feeling doesn’t count as bi. I feel like a massive fraud. But deep down I know I’m not. I just want to like what I like without people judging me.

I only really care about the label because I feel like I need it to understand myself.

Any advice on the subject?

So, for like the past 2 months I was kinda talking to this guy, kinda just being friendly. We’d call or FaceTime every now and then and the conversations were ok. Lots of random and awkward silence. But then about two weeks ago I had like a nervous outbreak about coming out to a friend and quickly texted him, this new guy I’m really interested in and a few of my friends for advice.

So they all were helpful and I plan on coming out to my (what I believe to be) straight friend this week bc I didn’t feel ready two weeks ago. So on the day I was going to do it. I asked new guy if I could call him to tell him how it went bc the first guy I asked didn’t answer his phone. That day we had like an hour and half call and it went from advice and experiences to finding so much between us in common. From that point on me and the new guy just clicked and we’ve been on hour+ phone calls and FaceTime everyday, but like one or two days.

I’ve really connected with this new guy and feel like we having something special. The only thing is he’s 8 hours away and the other guy was like 26 hours I believe. I think we’re definitely more than friends I’m just waiting to hear the confirmation. We are planning to meet soon and I can’t wait. Lately I’ve lost all attraction and energy to try with the first guy. I wasn’t really excited and don’t feel the amount of happy and uplifting energy as I do from this new guy. So I say all this to ask. Should I tell the first guy that I’m talking to someone else and not really interested unfortunately?

Have you used it as a couple or just by yourself?

Have you used it to find a third or another couple?

Is there a good variety of people and kinksters?

What are the pros and cons in your experience?