Me (M) & my partner (F) are discussing the idea of me having casual fun with guys. Curious how you plan & execute. Some logistical questions that come up are:

What apps/channels do you use?

How do you make sure it's safe?

Do you host, /guest at their place/somewhere neutral?

Are there any rules or agreements have you found helpful?

How do you ensure that your activities remain private and discreet?

We're planning to have children as well, so any parents that have been there, how has having children changed play outside of the marriage?

How old are they, and what do you tell them you're doing?

Thanks in advance for the wisdom!

Im so curious to know what it would be like to slowly stroke a hard cock. Edge it, look at how it gets so hard with excitement. Seeing how he trembles from holding him self from coming. Frotting with him as a form of teasing. Slowly glide a finger up his tight hole while i stroke him softly. Hearing how he begs to let him cum. Licking his precum of his cock head. Having him suck my cock while i continue to stroke him. They suddenly go real fast and have him deep throat my cock and have his moans muffled while my load is being shot in his throat.

Who is down?

So my husband knows that I am bisexual although we don’t talk about it much. I wish we did. He’s a little bit traditional when it comes to relationships. We got married had kids and a house. We both work and I sometimes feel disconnected from him and I try to get us back on track by talking about our sexuality. We will just have sex no foreplay just straight to the point. I am focal about what I want but honestly he wouldn’t last that long anyway so we hurry up to get it outta the way. Well I find myself fantasizing being with a woman. I have always wanted to be with but never really did get a chance. I’m not sure if it’s just me or what but I crave to talk to woman to get their perspective. Do I push these feelings away? Cause it’s not like I would ever have a chance to have sex with a woman.. am I just bored? Idk 🤷‍♀️

I am a wife (47f) of a bi-sexual male (50m). Though he told me a couple years ago, which he hid it for 30 yrs. That was a huge step for him. We have been together for almost 15 years, married for 9. We have recently started using strap-ons, and he has sucked my “girl cock”. I am still learning when using the strap-on. We both have our toys, but also a toy we use together. My husband has voiced desire to have a boyfriend, and I have said no. However, I am finding it be unfair - to make him feel like he cannot be his true self because of my own insecurities. I know that my husband loves me and at the end of the day he will come home to me. Before someone mentions therapy - I am working that angle already. Because of previous relationships and infidelity (boyfriends cheating on other woman), the fear rises. I keep asking the same question - is it cheating if my husband has a boyfriend and me know about it? Or is it supporting his desire to be himself?

Lately I’ve been buying a lot of lingerie, cute outfits, heels etc that I want to wear and just telling my wife it’s for her.

I buy them slightly smaller so it’s closer to her size and so it looks tighter on me. She’s pleasantly surprised at how much shopping I’ve done “for her”.

To kick it off, I’m not entirely sure this is the right place to make such a post, but I will give it a try. :-)

I’m 31 yo and in a relationship with a lovely woman for the past 11 years. Since my teens, l always felt attracted to both guys and girls. As I come from a very conservative and religious family, l definitely suppressed my “secret side” and waited to have sex until l was 20yo (yes, l only had sex with 1 person). Not until recently, after several years of therapy, l was able to acknowledge this “secret side” to me, but also to tell my wife about it. You can probably imagine how terrified l was with all this situation. She was and has been extremely lovely and supportive of my journey of self-discovery in every step.

So far, l have neve talked to another men about all of this, but now l think that the time has arrived. I would love to talk with guys that have gone through something similar or that are willing to have the patience with someone like me. Also, it would be amazing to find a sort of coach/mentor through this journey as it feels at moments quite lonely.

So for me I started understanding that I wasn't entirely straight at the latter end of 2019. I had niggling feelings for years and some mild experiences with men that really stood out in my mind more than they should. I started looking deeper into my feelings and came to the conclusion that at the very least I was Bi-Curious. Great! Well that is useless, I'm happily married so this will just be something that I file away into the back of my mind.

Well unfortunately once I had discovered this side about myself I couldn't help but constantly think about it and regret the opportunities missed over the years. Over the next few weeks my partner knew something was on my mind and ended up confronting me in bed one night. After a few minutes of debating with myself whether I should just say what was truly on my mind I relented and explained everything I had been feeling. She was beyond supportive and we spent a long time talking about everything. With everything out in the open I felt much lighter and at peace. I had determined that i was certainly Bisexual. We made love and went to sleep.

Nothing more was said for a few days and life went on as normal, until another night in bed and my partner raised the suggestion of me meeting up with men to explore my feelings sexually. A lot of talking and rules agreed to, but it was decided. I spent some time exploring apps and making profiles and mentally preparing myself (it had been many years since I had met anyone for a hookup let alone a guy) and by the beginning of March 2020 I was ready to go meet someone.....you see the problem!

Well plans blown to hell I spent the next seven months chatting, flirting and sexting with numerous men on various apps and websites (all with consent from my partner). I discussed wants, desires, kinks and deep fantasies that I could never tell my partner and had kept buried for years. It was a horny lock down, but my desires only grew. I knew what I wanted most and that was give a guy a blowjob. My wife helped as much as possible and we often used the toys at our disposal to role-playing this, but I needed the real thing.

Eventually the lockdowns ended and life started to return to normal and I started the look for my first real life meet. I eventually found a guy over twice my age who was more than happy to put me through my paces. He told me where to go and he would pick me up and take me back to his place. I remember how nervous I was and whilst I stood there looking out for his car the overwhelming desire to bolt and go home, but I resisted and soon enough he pulled up next to me. I got in and he took me to his, talking about what I was and wasn't comfortable with trying. He was understanding and patient, he found it cute how nervous I was.

I'll spare you the sordid details unless requested, but that experience was one I'll never forget (not that I could with video and photos taken). I returned home with vigor and gushed about it to my partner, showing her what I had done. I didn't realise how much this would excite her and it led to some great sex. So overall a very good day for me.

I've had more meets over the years since and they get better and better all the time. My relationship with my spouse is stronger than ever and I can't get enough of my extramarital fun.

This was a very long post for which I apologise, but if anyone had any questions or wants more details then feel free to ask. I'm an open book

So she has no idea I’m bi and I’d never want to cheat on her. But I’d love to be able to explore with her and maybe invite another guy into our bedroom. I’m not too sure how she’d react if I did open up.

One thing about her when we do have sex we love to play with dildos and she loves sucking on a dildo with me. She tells me it really turns her on watching me suck a juicy cock. She loves having the dildo between our mouths and us kissing around it. I try to act like I’m not that into it but secretly I love every moment of it.

I’ve been close to telling her that I’d like to try a real cock with her but I always wimp out.

Last few years I have dived deeper into the bi/mmf/ heteorflexible and occasional full on gay porn.

Mmf and orally bi porn gets me off 9/10 and I have found I’m attracted to the cock rather than the male. I’m sucker for a beautiful cock! Normally when watching these genres of porn as soon as I cum, the post nut clarity kicks in. Recently i’ve not had the post nut clarity in fact the urge to suck a cock with my wife has been kicking in. My wife doesn’t have any idea of my new found bi tendencies . We’re both into anal play, I’m dropping hints and will continue to do so. Hopefully my fantasy of sucking a cock on my knees with my wife comes true!

I'm(46M) bi-cycling hard this week and it was inadvertently triggered by my wife. Without going into too much detail, our sex life hasn't been exactly been in high gear for sometime due to medical reasons in her part. Now, I don't resent her for it simply because it's not of her doing. But because of this, she wants to help me get off while I masturbate and the other night was one of those times. She put her thumb in my mouth and told me to suck it like I would a cock. She knows I'm bi and is very supportive of my sexuality. This got my imagination going and I got lost in the fantasy and really started sucking it like it was a cock. It made her giggle, not in a mean way but in a this is sexy way. But ever since then my craving has been through the roof.
I'm thinking I'm going to need sever cold showers. Lol

So my wife has always said she’s ok with me being bi. House parties with too much drink and group kissing etc and checking out guys in public. Proudly pointing it out to people who comment and generally having my back. This weekend just gone we had old friends visit who are married but happily poly. Long story short me and the husband who I always assumed was straight, hooked up, drunk kissing etc. Following morning we chatted and realised it wasn’t a flash in the pan moment and wanted to explore together (we have both never been with a guy beyond kissing). Wife has now held up red card that she is unhappy with situation and told me to knock it all off. Further confusion comes with the poly wife also being interested in me but one problem at a time.

I beat off with gay man I chatted with on Grindr on SnapChat and it was pretty fun. I did it one other time with someone on another video chat. Is this cheating or something else?

We were still in bed. I was still snuggled into his side. Still rubbing his nipples. Our conversation moved forward. He expressed that he had made a promise to himself that the part of his heart and mind that was excited about other men would be cut off. He had vowed he would never even so much as mention those experiences.

He was dealing with the aftermath of breaking that promise so he had pulled away. He couldn’t believe he had mentioned the camp experience at all. He was worried that once we were out of the sexual haze of the moment that I would hate him. He was scared I was trying to initiate sex to still “prove” to myself that I still wanted him in that way. Of course, he was also thinking about all of the teaching we’ve heard on this subject. It was just a mess. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Most of them not true or scary.

I tried to let him get all of that out as the conversation progressed. Then I reassured that I was grateful for his vulnerability and was going to respond in kind. Basically, I told him the verbal version of my first post here. I truly was honest. I was also soaking wet by the end of it. I swear, I am a total freak when this topic is in play. My vagina betrays me every time.

Not only was I wet, he was hard. He could not believe that my mind had been so full of those kinds of fantasies in such an extreme way. We were both learning some pretty crucial things in this conversation.

He told me that even allowing himself to openly think about this issue is a big step so he can’t imagine actually doing anything right now. However, he liked the idea of hearing my fantasies. He wants me to be open about that and include that in our sex play. Trust me when I say I have lots of material to share!

I promised him I would be a safe place to share his fears and concerns when his mind starts going crazy again. We also discussed therapy.

I told him I wanted to hear every detail he was willing to share about his previous experiences and fantasies before he tried to shut down that part of himself. He got this cute grin then told me he and the camp boy had been making out that night with full on kissing involving lots of tongue. Then they 69’d. It was a position they both liked looking at in the porn they had there. He said it felt a little awkward at first but they figured it out and made each other cum.

He said there was more but I, of course, almost had an orgasm just from hearing that. We were frantically pulling clothes off of each other at that point and then replicated that scenario. My mouth licking his cock. His tongue lapping at my pussy.

I had the thought later that it’s going to take a really long time for him to share his experiences and fantasies if I become sex crazed after every single little segment. Good grief. I’m a mess. But the sex was amazing! Our conversation was amazing!When we finally fell asleep I felt like we were in a really good place. We had been emotionally and sexually vulnerable and intimate. I felt incredibly connected to him. More so than ever before. I’m not sure how this is all going to play out but, currently, I feel very good about bringing attraction to men into the conversation.

Late 50s M, married to a woman for almost 30 years. I’m mostly attracted to men but never experimented with that when I was young, or even told anybody. I married for bad reasons even though I mistakenly thought it would be okay—and I kept my secret from her until last year, when she exploded at the revelation.

We’ve had a DB for years now, with nothing at all in the last year and a half. I coped with gay porn in secret all the years we’ve been married (I know; part of my terrible ideas that ruined my personal life and her hopes for a normal husband). Anyway, she demanded I give up porn, masturbation, and fantasizing about anyone but her, and I agreed to report any sexual activity or thoughts to her within 24 hrs, in the name of marriage-healing honesty and complete transparency.

Well, I haven’t done anything sexual by myself for a month, and I’m dying inside out of pathetic longing and frustration. Her belief (supported by a well-known marriage counselor’s publications) is that if I think only about her when I have sexual thoughts and desires and acts, then eventually I’ll have sexual thoughts and desires only about her.

Except it hasn’t worked (and it never did before, when I had an active masturbation practice)—I have no desire at all for any intimacy with her on any level.

I don’t know what to do. Meds, years of therapy, attempts at joint marriage counseling, weekend retreats, books, prayer, abstinence, podcasts, webinars, etc etc haven’t changed the fact that I want to be with a guy sexually.

She’s even stopped the verbal and emotional abuse that she gave me for years, so how can I leave her now when she’s being nice to me? I feel like I should have left years ago, when at least I would have had the justification. Now it’s just all my fault that I’m unable to change, and I’m supposed to be able to. Supposedly it takes a while, but after a month the urges I always had are only stronger.

The lack of sex—even though it was only the pathetic self sex that I used to cope for decades—has kicked the last legs out from under my caring about living anymore. But I can’t bring myself to tell her that I want a divorce “so that I can get rid of her and go live my gay life,” in her words.

Every day I want to die. What do I do?

Life has been exceptionally busy for the past few weeks so it’s been a bit since my last update. I’m glad that I have something good to share.

I was right in being concerned that my husband was pulling back because of the topic of him being with men. He was also a little stunned that he had shared about the boy at church camp. He’s never talked about it before. As in, never. Not to a friend, family member, or stranger. He had thought he never would.

Let me just get into it. After he rejected me I tried to initiate sex again the next day and he brushed me off again with the excuse of needing to head over to a friend’s house to help with an important repair. It was around 8 in the evening. A bit late for a project. He didn’t get home until after midnight. I was at home thinking I had royally screwed up to start this conversation and wondering if he even was with his friend. We have the Life 360 app to be able to help each other in emergency situations. I’ve never checked it before out of concern that he might not be where he said he would be. I didn’t like checking it with that motivation. It made me feel a little sick. However, he did really go there. I’ve also since been around that friend and he referenced several things he and my husband did that night in regards to his home improvement project.

The next few days I didn’t try to start anything. Sex or a conversation. It was pure cowardice. I was so afraid I had really messed up in initiating this topic. Finally, one evening he had gotten into bed and started watching a movie. I was trying to complete my to-do list for the day then I went to our room, got ready for bed, and laid down beside him. We were both quiet. Just watching. I snuggled over close to him and he put his arm around me. We felt like “us” again. If that makes sense? I felt extreme relief. Yet I knew we couldn’t leave all of that hanging. It’s just too big of a subject matter to pretend it didn’t exist. So after a while I got brave and asked him if he was angry at me or uncomfortable having sex with me now because of what he had shared. He let out a huge sigh and I was worried that he was mad that I brought this up. He stayed quiet for a few minutes and I was worried he had just shut down. That there would be no more communication on that issue.

But he finally started talking. I could feel his anxiety. He told me what I shared above. That he had thought he would never speak of the boy at church camp to anyone. He had told himself he wouldn’t. I told him that it felt weird to me to realize there were really big parts of his life that I didn’t know because I thought I knew him better than anyone. I also said that I understood that it was a big deal because of our background and that I was grateful he trusted me enough to finally share it with me. The feel of the conversation shifted. He wasn’t giving off the stress vibe. He felt like he was settling. I found a secret weapon. As I was curled into his side I started gently rubbing his nipples. It was very sexual and yet, it wasn’t. I could feel him relaxing. He went on to share that the church camp boy wasn’t the only male he had fooled around with! After that camp experience he messed around with a boy in his neighborhood for a while until that family moved.

He said those were the only two guys he’d interacted with sexually. Though he had flirted pretty heavily with some guys at different times after that. (One of them being a forty something year old man while he was a senior in high school. Which was when we started dating!) According to him he never went all of the way with either of them. He was scared to take that big step because of all of the preaching he had heard. He was battling with himself because he felt attraction to guys and girls. He hated himself for it. After a few months of dating me he had made the decision within his own mind that he was all in with me and that he would never have any sexual connection of any kind with a man again. He also committed to himself he would never talk about those experiences. He tried to erase them as if they didn’t exist.

I have more to share from this conversation but this is getting really long so I think I’ll close here for now. More will be coming!

I (29m) have been dating my girlfriend (27f) for over 7 years. We both work from home in a 1 bedroom apartment and spend almost every waking moment together, share a friend group, etc. She knows I am bi and that I experimented in college and she is okay with that.

About a year ago I started to become unsatisfied in the relationship. She seemingly had no desire for me, or anyone. never initiated sex, was rarely in the mood. We were having sex about twice a month. I would always put her pleasure first, went down on her, made sure she would cum multiple times. I know she enjoyed sex when we had it but outside of having it she never thought about it. She does not masturbate or have any toys except for a bullet vibe she uses when we have sex. She told me she never thinks about sex and it killed my confidence and drive. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with someone who cares so little for sex?

I started to have my doubts about the relationship and tried talking to her about it and she would just shut down and tell me I should leave her then, which in turn would make me not bring it up again or try to work through it.

This doubt just sat around in my brain for months and that’s when I started to explore more gay porn. Sort of fetishizing how seemingly sexually liberated and free these men were. It was the dream.

Then one day I had to take an overnight work trip. My very attractive gay coworker also made the trip. There were one too many drinks and I ended up in his hotel room… I cried after the sex. I thought this was from guilt, but i think it was from a lot of things. It was a terrible mistake and I carried the guilt and shame for almost a week before I couldn’t take it anymore and came clean to my girlfriend. It hurt her terribly.

I went out of town for a couple of weeks to give her space. We talked and I explained how I need to feel desired in order to be in a relationship with someone. We both agreed to try and make it work.

We have been in couples counseling since then (about 9 months) and I changed jobs. It was a long and bumpy road but it felt like we had moved passed the infidelity and even made some progress in our relationship. I am working on acknowledging my sexuality / identity / desires and trying to incorporate them into my life. My girlfriend pegged me for the first time a few weeks ago. I loved it, she did not seem very into it but it was both of our first times and we were nervous. I cried after this as well. This is what makes me think there was more to me crying the last time than just guilt. It felt like a veil had lifted, I could enjoy myself, without shame, however I wanted to. To be so vulnerable. The pleasure chemicals, the relief, the acceptance, it was all so much I cried.

I was riding that high for a while but it turned sour when I started to question if I was with the right partner since I enjoyed it so much and she seemingly did not. I asked her if she would do it again 2 weeks later and she said yes and then just sort of ignored it.

In therapy I mentioned that I was scared about the idea of never being able to be with a man again for the rest of my life. My girlfriend is a hard no on threeways or an open relationship of any sort. The therapist steered that into the direction of breaking up. My girlfriend got really upset and won’t talk to me. She is fed up. I understand her frustration. I just want to be there for her and make her happy but I seemingly can’t get over the fact that she doesn’t really think about sex or care for any kind of kink, or the fact that I will never be with a man again. How do I get over this so I can just be happy with her? It’s ruining our life together. Everything else is great. I want her to be happy and feel secure. Please help. I don’t want sex to ruin our 7+ year relationship. Our lives are so entwined.

TL;DR: How do I not let a stale, vanilla sex life and my desires towards men ruin my 7+ year relationship?

Apologies for what is going to be a lengthy post.

I [43M] have been with my wife [40F] for 13 years now. Our relationship did not start what one would consider a typical way. I had been single for 5 years before I met my wife, she had been single for a while as well. We met due to a mutual friend that she was living with at the time. We started seeing each other in May, by June we found out she was pregnant, by August we had moved in together. Also coming into this relationship was her son [6M]. He asked if he could start calling me Dad as his (we call him donor) had never been present in his life since he was 3 months old. Admittedly due to the speed that everything moved at during this time it felt awkward, but I really came to love and enjoy it because he was such an awesome kid. Eventually our daughter was born, and we became an actual family.

Over time, we had our differences but always found some way to resolve them. There were two times where we did have to separate for a few days to get perspective on our situation due to things getting out of hand (I admit that both times we had a break were due to my own foolishness, the first time was due to my video game addiction that I have since broken, the second time was because we had gotten in a big fight and I was venting to a friend on messenger about it and she didn’t like that I was talking to someone else about our problems and admittedly some of the comments I made were very rude/unflattering due to being angry.) Both times I chose to come back to her and our family because I knew that I wasn’t complete without them, and I went to counseling to help deal with some of my issues. Eventually we got married with our son being my best man at the wedding because he had become an important part of my life and I wanted to have him be the most important person on my side of the aisle. For a few years everything after that was amazing.

About a year and a half ago, tragedy struck in the form of our house catching fire and burning down in the middle of the night. I had gotten called into work earlier that day so at the time I did not know anything until I was on the way home and my FIL called to say the house was on fire. My wife and daughter barely made it out, but our son [17 at the time] did not make it out along with our pets and everything we ever owned. To say it was devastating to both of us is completely an understatement, but more so for my wife as she had to watch the house go down around him while she tried everything to get to him. He had passed in his sleep due to carbon monoxide poisoning, so he was gone before the fire ever touched him, but it still kills me to this day that I wasn’t home to save him or anything. We tried grief counseling afterwards but due to negative experiences with the counselor we both stopped going.

For the last year, I felt like I’ve become a roommate to my wife due to the intense grieving process she is going through. I have watched her become a shell of the woman I used to know and love. I have done my best to be there for her while dealing with my own grief, but I put my processing on pause to help her as much as possible. She doesn’t want to talk about it or think about it and spends most of her time stoned (She has her medical card due to the PTSD from the event). I have taken over most of the household tasks both inside and out to allow her the time she needs to work through things. Any time I try to get her to open up about her feelings or what is on her mind, she is either A) Too stoned or B) doesn’t want to think about it. I respect her process as I know everyone grieves differently but I really feel like she just cannot function anymore.

The issue that is currently weighing on us is because I am bisexual. I told her before we ever officially became a couple because I didn’t want to hide anything from her and wanted her to make up her own mind about it. We agreed on the idea of a hall pass as I told her that I already knew that while I could be in a relationship, every once in a while I get the urge to explore my other side. It doesn’t happen very often (usually about the 2-year mark or so is when I start getting the itch) but I make sure we communicate about it so that there’s no hiding anything and be completely transparent. Her deal is that she doesn’t want to hear about it or see it, and she doesn’t want it being brought around the house along with a rather extensive list of rules which I agreed to, in order to make sure she could have peace of mind about it. The couple of times I have asked about being able to use it, she starts crying and has a meltdown, so I just give up on it because I don’t want to make her unhappy. I have tried to explain to her that it isn’t because I don’t find her attractive or that she isn’t enough for me, its just something that I have had to deal with my whole life. Both of us have had trauma due to shitty relationships and currently we are each others longest relationship, but we have worked through some of our issues together. Our sex life started declining a few years ago due to medical issues (I started taking antidepressants, and was also undiagnosed with Diabetes at the time) which made it impossible to either get aroused or to finish if we did get that far, but also made the itch not come up. I always made sure that I took care of her that way and talked to her about it and let her know it wasn’t because of her, but she still always took it personal.

I had finally started getting my health back under control, and after losing several pounds certain functions started happening again. Cue about a month ago, unfortunately one of them happened to be that itch that after 13 years I was still dealing with. I tried to let my wife know that the arousal for her was starting to come back but I knew she wasn’t in the mood or frame of mind for it at the time. We did try fooling around a couple times but I could always tell her heart wasn’t in it. Stupid me, I asked If I could consider using the hall pass as I didn’t want to bother her to fulfill that particular itch when she clearly was not in the mood/mindset for it and I wasn’t going to force it on her. This started another fight where she basically said that she knows she hasn’t felt like it but it is what it is and to deal with it. At that point we both kind of realized our marriage was dead in the water. We have currently both agreed to seek couples counseling to determine if we can get back to some semblance of our happiness but my fear is that we may have let things go too far.

At this point I’m opening up this to Reddit as this will be the first post I’ve made. I am completely lost as to what to do or even how to feel at this point. I don’t want to lose her because I truly do love and care for her but I can’t continue living how we have been for the past year, and I’m not talking about just our intimacy but everything in general. I also cant let our daughter continue living in this environment as I have been also taking care of her emotional and grieving needs as well.

The cravings have been really intense again recently.

My wife wants to open our marriage for a night of “fun”. She is more on the bisexual side, is gay but enjoys the taboo feeling of sleeping with men. I am not, I am farther on the gay scale and don’t enjoy sex with men or really have much attraction to them. I typically need a lab emotional connection anyway where she is the opposite. She can view someone else just as a toy to play with, they aren’t people to her just an object for pleasure. Last night she says her “ moon” is out and she is having thoughts and fantasies about men. No one in particular but just a feeling. I asked is it just a penetration thing or is it the whole package, the muscles etc? She said it was the whole package, going out flirting and fucking a guy.

I’ve tried to be ok with it, but I’m not. The thought of her with someone else makes me want to vomit. If she would enjoy him more than me, I just would never recover. The fact that she wants something I can’t give her already is making me sick to my stomach. She says she is satisfied and it’s just like asking to use a vibrator, she sees no difference in the two. But I do, and I can’t seem to see it from her perspective.

Hey all, been together for a few years now but she doesn't know that I've previously had some fun with other guys.

Lately I've just wanted to suck a cock so bad but would only want to do it with permission. Thought I'd check in here where it seems judgement free to see how you all brought that conversation up with your partner?

Somewhat thinking maybe leaning the porn watching that way and bringing it up of maybe trying could be fun or something.

Essentially looking to suck dick again with partners permission whether she is there or not.

Just a quick update. My husband is acting off. I tried to initiate sex last night and he said he was really tired. That is really rare in our relationship. We are usually always ready to go if one of the other of us want sex.

I am trying not to freak out. I know this is all big stuff, connected to a lot of feelings, and I hope I haven’t pushed him too far or too fast.

Some new things have transpired. It just took me a bit to find time to post. . First of all, I should say I paid really close attention to the gay porn he was watching in his solo masturbation session. I combed through that history like it held the secrets of the universe! (And ended up having my own masturbation session. Not just because of what I was seeing but the fact that my husband saw it. It was making me a little wild.) I was trying to get a feel for if he had a “type.” Or if there was one particular thing about being with a guy that interested him over another. But it was a pretty wide variety. Some stuff had pretty, feminine guys and other stuff had much more masculine men. Some oral. Some anal. I didn’t really learn anything about any preferences he may have apart from simply enjoying watching man on man action. I did not know if he has a wide range of interests or if he’s brand new to exploring gay porn on his own.

The next few times we were having sex I wanted to bring it up in some way but my nerves got the better of me. I’m not one hundred percent sure why. We are very open as a couple in so many ways. Is it my religious background ? Is it that I’m scared fantasy won’t match reality? Finally, I told myself to stop being silly about it. He responded well the last time I asked him a question. I decided to take the gamble that he had been hoping I would see it. So that night when we started having a little fun I was sitting on his lap, my legs on either side of him, and we were kissing. I stopped and said, “So I saw some interesting history on your iPad the other day.” I made sure to grind myself against him so he could feel through my body language that I liked what I had seen.

I could immediately tell that he was embarrassed. The first time I had brought this up I was giving him a bj and my focus was on his cock’s reaction. This time I was looking him in the face. He actually blushed. But I could feel his cock getting harder. He didn’t say anything for a little bit. Again , it felt like forever. I started to worry that I had made a massive misstep but then he asked, “It really does turn you on to think of me like that, with a man?” I put my hand in my panties and then held it up. It was covered because I was so wet. I said, “Look at what it does to me.”

He grabbed my hand and starting licking it. I got brave and asked a few more questions. “Did my question during sex that night cause a desire for gay porn? Is this the first time you’ve masturbated to gay porn?”

He told me what had happened during sex had definitely triggered that particular masturbation session. Then he said it was not the first time he had masturbated to gay porn! Which absolutely got me going because that means this is an interest he’s had on his own. Not something he was doing just because of me. That has been one of my biggest fears in all of this. That he would do something just because he thought I wanted it.

I asked him when he had first seen gay porn. He told me as a teenager. I asked him where/when. He got really quiet then. For a while. Internally, I was scolding myself for getting too greedy. For pushing too hard. I started kissing him again. Stopping in between kisses to say he didn’t need to tell me anything he didn’t feel ready to say. Then he told me the story. He was around 15. It was at a church camp. He and another boy had a bunk bed in a dorm type room together. At the beginning of that week he saw some gay porn in that boys belongings. Sticking out from under some of his clothes in his suitcase. The boy realized what he had seen and, at first, tried to hide it. He seemed pretty scared. Which made my husband feel bad. He kept assuring him he didn’t need to be scared. They dropped it in the moment but after the lights went out that night they started talking in the dark. This all resulted in some very sexually charged conversations over a couple of nights. Then they looked at it together one night. Sharing a flashlight which required them to be on the same bunk. There was no touching that first time of looking together. There was the second time. And the third time. They did not go all the way. They both were very scared of what they were feeling and getting caught. The religious environment we grew up in was absolutely against homosexuality. It was something we heard preached against a lot.

A few things stood out to me. First, my mind was blown that this is a part of his story. We’ve been together so long. I thought I knew so much about him. However, I’m seeing that’s not entirely true. It doesn’t upset me. Obviously, there are things about me he is doesn’t know as well. It does make me glad that we are learning new things about one another and a bit sad that it’s taken this long to share some things that are probably pretty important parts of who we are.

Second, it stood out to me that he felt the need to say they didn’t go all the way several times. Maybe I’m reading it wrong but it felt like he needed to say they didn’t fully have sex in a defensive way. Like he was sort of into it, but not really. But I could feel how hard he was as was talking about it. I think he’s wrestling with it in his mind. I don’t know. Like I said, I may be wrong. Trust me, I wanted to ask a million questions. They didn’t go all the way, but how far did they go? What was said in those sexually charged conversations? What was in the content they were looking at?

However, I sensed that him telling me this was a huge step and that I needed to give him a break. So I just thanked him for trusting me with that story. Told him I would love to hear it more detail later. But at the moment I was so horny he needed to do something about it. I very much wanted to reinforce that I loved everything he had said and sex seemed to be the best way to do that. We both really got into it and had some pretty amazing orgasms.

My curiosity is killing me, but I’m trying not to push too hard, too fast. I have to keep remembering this isn’t just about me.

It’s hard enough finding a female friend open to fwb. It’s even harder finding one that’s into bbw. It has to be a friend, no ONS, because I’m demi and need the connection. What’s the trick to finding someone?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I’ve been bi curious forever but married so acting out has been a challenge. What’s a good dl place to meet like minded people? I don’t care if they are Gay or Bi it’s just hard to navigate and find people. Advice please

Following up from my previous post, it has been refreshing that I don’t have this secret inside of me. I am no longer sneakily wearing panties anymore and now wear them almost exclusively.

However, in my previous post I mentioned she was really into the idea of me being with another man. At first I was really hesitant, but have really come around to the idea. Just curious if anyone has introduced this into their relationship and how it has gone.

Hi all - been stuck in an aggressive bi-cycle for about 3 weeks now and feel as though I am getting closer to talking to my wife (married 5 years) about trying stuff with guys, but have no idea how to/if I should at all. I told her about my sexuality about a year ago and she was really chill about it - we chatted for a bit but never covered trying anything. She is also bi, but has never expressed wanting to try anything outside our relationship.

Had previous (limited) experience in my youth but feel as though I am only getting more curious. Thanks in advance!

I (41m) came out as bisexual to my wife (40f) over two years ago after nearly 15 years of marriage. She’s the only person I’ve ever been with. I have looked at other guys in the past with interest but because I was attracted to women, I didn’t think too much of it. When I was younger, I don’t even think I knew being attracted to both sexes was a thing.

I met a guy online and it was the first time I’d ever considered meeting someone else after looking curiously online for a number of years. I’d never chatted to someone else and this was the first time I felt the desire to meet up. The guilt and shame of even considering that was so overwhelming, it pushed me to come out to my wife.

It was really challenging for us both at first. We were both coming to terms with who I was and what it meant for us. I didn’t want to lose my wife and we just accepted the facts and tried to move on together.

18 months later, I started to have thoughts again about being with a man. Asking myself ‘what if?’. What would it be like to be with someone else. And again, the guilt and shame of even thinking that overcame me again. We took some time apart while I tried to work out what I wanted. I asked for an open relationship on my side to see what that could look like. We went to couples therapy. We were making progress. I felt hopeful.

And now six months on, I’ve again broken down and am in a dark place which has scared me. I’ve never been in such a low place. Overcome with the shame of even considering meeting a man when my wife is not ready for that to happen. The darkness has jolted me to make a decision that I need to leave my marriage. As painful as it is and what might be ahead, I can’t continue this cycle and continue to hurt my wife. It’s a very scary road ahead but I am hopeful that we will still be there for one another but just on different terms.

Apologies in advance for the long post. I (36M) have developed a strong desire/crush on a married (36M) new friend/acquaintance. I met this guy a few months ago through mutual friends and from the first meeting I felt a vibe from him. Now I will say my gaydar is quite off. I’m usually clueless and oblivious. But with this guy, things are just different. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I want to figure it out. It’s not just physical attraction, cause while he’s not ugly at all, he’s also not “hot”. He’s average like me.

A little bit about me. I am not new to M/M sex as I’ve been doing it on and off for about 10 years. But it’s always been pre planned with other DL guys I’ve met online. Have never picked up a guy out in public and most definitely have never hit on a friend or someone I know.

Back to the guy. He’s in the same circle of friends but we’re not that close. I’ve encouraged my wife to be friends with his wife and it has slowly worked. We recently hung out as couples, and I wanted to take this opportunity to shake off this attraction I have towards him. I’m usually the type that once I “friend zone” a guy, I loose any kind of attraction. Maybe it’s a subconscious way of staying safe. I can appreciate friends who are attractive but never even consider crossing that line, especially if I’m also friends with the wife. But this hang out only made things worse. They’re actually a really cool couple and that would’ve been enough to turn me off. But somehow now I’m even more attracted to him, and I think he may feel the same way but I do not know how to confirm.

It’s just something my intuition is telling me. My hunch is going as far as thinking he would be the bottom (I’m a top). I really don’t know how to proceed. Can’t get it off my mind. I don’t want a one and done with this guy. I actually would love a secret FWB type of arrangement.

Anybody else been in a similar predicament and was right? Am I just being delusional and seeing something that isn’t there? Is it just a new fantasy that I’ve never had before? How do I feel it out without outing myself to him and other friends in the process?

Anyone can recommend good apps for meeting local people with the same interests. I tried grinder but seems a little much.