I’m closeted bi or bi-curious. I think my wife might potentially be into the idea of bringing in a 3rd into the bedroom but I am nervous to bring it up. Anyone have any experience with that or some general advice?

Hey all, Chad here from the podcast Give It To Me Bi!

We recently recorded an episode diving into the world of pegging—a topic that, for some of us here, might be old news, while others might not even know what the word means, and plenty are somewhere in between.

For many bi folks in long term relationships, exploring new aspects of our sexuality can be both exciting and a little intimidating, especially when it involves bringing our partners into that journey who may not be on the same page. This episode is all about easing into that conversation and sharing practical, approachable advice on how to introduce the idea to your partner(s).

We break down the “whats” and “whys” of pegging and address some of the common worries.

If you’re interested in listening, here’s the link.

Would love to hear your thoughts or experiences! 🩷💜💙

I’m concerned I’ll have post nut clarity if I cum getting fucked. It’s bad enough after open goodness knows what it’d be like with a man on top of me, a load inside me and a cock filling me.

Who is on the DL with their bi-ness?

I'm inspired by the stories of supportive spouses I see on this sub. The reality is many folks here are either not in that situation or are highly confident their spouse won't be supportive.

I've always know my wife would not support involving any other people in play, but was hopeful we could find a balance somewhere like MMF porn, pegging, cum-kissing etc etc. I now know it flat out isn't in the cards. We had some friends open their marriage and she let loose on how disgusting she finds all kinds of kinky play, and how heartbroken she'd be if I wanted anything like that.

She supports LGBTQ+ and is very opened minded how people live their lives, but it isn't for her. I can't be mad as none of this was something I wanted when we got together.

I'd love to hear how folks without supportive partners have managed to keep their sanity. You may disagree with my decision, but I'd rather this part of me fester than tear my family apart. Maybe that changes in 10 years, but it isn't the case today, and I don't think I'm alone.

If infidelity isn't an option, nor is complete denial, I think secretly playing with toys, porn and longing is the best I can do for now.

Always interested in new things I may not be considering.

Hi "bi" guy here (26) currently talking eith my wife about me enging with other men and thsts going fine. But im now getting worried about the ethics of essentially using these hypothetical men to experiment to make sure im actually bi? It feels icky and wrong and im unsure how to go about this ethically on that end. I dont want to use people, but i do want to actually be intimate with men while staying with my wife. I just cant find a way to reconcile all of this.

I am married but secretly bi. I had an account on adam4adam and was talking to a guy, we moved to telegram and traded pictures, including face pics. He used that to find out my personal info including my address and my wife’s name and Facebook friends. He says I need to follow his directions or things will get very bad for me.

What can I do? Am I screwed?

UPDATE: I have blocked him on the app we were communicating on, and deleted the app. I’ve also deleted my telegram app where we chatted after we moved from adam4adam. I’ve deleted my adam4adam account. No contact with him since about 5 last night and now the only way he could contact me would be on Facebook. Nothing this morning from him. And no freaked out texts from my wife. Still very nervous.

Me and the wife always have freaky sex and almost all of the time we use toys...well tonight while riding me she started to fuck my throat with one of her toys and let me tell u..choking on that dick forced me to cum harder than I've ever thought was possible...I'm writing this still in shock but drained completely and even tho it's a 1st I am gnna do that again holy fuck..

I'm a married and bi guy in my 30s. I've had a couple (mostly drunken) experiences with men but the vast majority of my romantic experience has been with women. I'm happily married to a bicurious woman. We've occasionally talked about swinging or poly, because we're very adventurous people with great communication skills. We want to experience what life has to offer!

My most common fantasy is finding a couple in a similar position and building a relationship in a way that normal friend boundaries can be looser- mostly we are just friends, but things get a little touchy on board game night, ya know? Like a sort of casual 2v2 relationship. During that experience we could explore our bisexuality at a comfortable pace without being expected to rush OR hold back that side of ourselves.

Unfortunately it seems like most swinger couples are at least straight on the male half. I've heard that bi men experience quite a bit of negativity in those circles too, but I don't have any experience with it. Further, I don't think I could really just one-night-stand with a random couple. I'm way too awkward.

Notes: Obviously complicating existing relationships is always a risk. I also don't want to imply that bi = swinger/poly.

I have appreciated men for a long time. Funny thing is that Playboy proved it to me by showing a beautiful full frontal shot of this super cute otter

So as long as I can remember I’ve been interested in cross dressing. I’ve only tried a little bit, but since I got married it’s the first time I’ve had access to women’s clothes, and I must say I love it. When I dress I go into “girlfriend mode” as I call it, and imagine being with a guy. It’s quite the turn on. I don’t think I want to be a woman or anything, but it is something I’d like to explore more.

Thing is, I am pretty sure my wife would be irked out by all of this. She would not be interested in exploring more with me. Any suggestions? I don’t want to break up my marriage, but exploring my fem side is something I really want to do.

This is going to take me a bit to get out to my point. Apologies for the length of the post.

I grew up in a town of 600+/- in an area with approximately 3-4 people per square mile. I led a very sheltered life growing up. Had no idea there was such a thing as homosexuality until I was in my mid teens. I'd heard the terms 'homo' and 'queer' but thought those were just slang terms of derision. I didn't know the basis. When I was 15, I was legally raped by a married 24 year old mother of two kids who worked in my mom's business. Over the next year we had lots of rapey sex. She risked being arrested and once convicted would be a known sex offender. I never shared the affair even with my best friend. She introduced me to anal sex, exploring my ass with her fingers and a really hard plastic vibrator, pretending to fuck me. I never thought of this in any way as homosexual behavior. It just felt incredibly good and I was having sex with a mature, hot, sexy WOMAN who knew what she wanted and took charge. I eventually had to stop seeing her as she was really clingy, telling me she loved me and we could leave the state, etc., etc.. I needed to see girls my own age. I needed to go to college. It was difficult. Even today, more than 50 years later, I still have feelings of love for her in a fond rememberence kind of way.

When I was 17 I worked in a business after school and my manager, a male, invited me to a party. Turned out I was to be the party and he tried to kiss me and I rejected him. Another coworker tried the same. I rejected him, too. Thing is, I didn't have a GAYDAR at that time. I didn't know they were gay. I wasn't schooled in how to know, but I didn't hold it against them. I just accepted that's how they are. I wasn't like them, didn't want to be like them and totally rejected the idea.

Eventually, I met and married my first wife. She was into anal play and loved to eat my ass and she tried really hard, for years, to fist me to no avail. We used poppers and still could not open wide enough. We had several didos and she used these on me. I worked in construction and one day I was working at a guy's house installing new windows and discovered a treasure trove of adult magazines and one was of women fucking men with strap on dildos. I was instantly intrigued and (sorry to say) I stole his magazine and showed my wife. She liked it and so, we made a makeshift harnesss and she fucked me that night, and many more nights to come. It helped that she had huge, pendulous breasts and the sight of her huge boobs hanging in my face while she was fucking me was enough to make me cum handsfree.

Unfortunately, she found Jesus. Not normal Jesus, but thanks to her mother, who had abandoned her to ride off on an adventure with a Hell's Angel for ten years, she found snake charming Jesus, and fall out in the aisle speaking in tongues Jesus. Sex was for procreation, but not for fun. If it was not missionary sex, it was evil and sinful. Needless to say, the marriage dissolved.

I eventually met and married another female. She, too, liked anal play. She liked to blow me and then kiss me and share my cum. She liked fucking me with a strapon. Unfortunately, she also liked fucking her boss and that marriage ended.

Lots of women came and went. No guys. No thoughts of bi or gay activity or thoughts, even. By then, we had the Internet, and with a heaping load of guilt, I looked at some gay porn. Jerked off to it and felt even more guilty. Didn't look again except at hetero porn. Then discovered strapon porn, which led to gay porn. My guilt over it began to subside, but still, I wasn't seeking out a big experience. Until one day, I was away at a conference sitting at the hotel bar and was talking golf with a dude at the bar, and he changed the subject by using innuendo about balls, shaft, hole in one, etc. and I ended up in bed with him. Within the next few months, my GAYDAR was up and running and I had multiple male partners, but never felt really satisfied by it, like something was missing. I liked it, but whether it was my upbringing or guilt, I'm not sure, but it just wasn't as satisfying to me as sex with a female.

I haven't had bi sex since. I met and married my wife. She doesn't like anal sex herself, but always was willing to play with mine, using dildos and pegging me. She asked me if I was bi, and I told her I was but that it wasn't something that I desired to do but had in the past. She was cool with that. The pegging went away after we had kids, and I threw away that cheap harness and dildo. I didn't really care that much that we didn't peg anymore. But years went by and then I discovered there is tons of gay, pegging and bi porn available and started watching more and more of it, masturbating alone, going down on a dildo, and I started wanting to be fucked. I talked to my wife. She was cool with it. We shopped together and purchased a new harness and a couple of new dildos. This has been awesome and I cum so hard from being fucked that I worry my heart will give out!

All that said, I still looked at gay porn and bisex porn. One thing led to the next and I was on social media and the next thing I knew, I was making a date to meet a guy. I was wracked with guilt and nervous, and eventually just didn't show up. I wrote the guy and explained and he understood. After then, I felt so good that I didn't go. It was a huge relief. I don't think I could have lived with myself for cheating on my spouse and so am very glad that I didn't, but it got me to thinking about the influence that porn had on me and how easy it would have been to use social media to feed into that desire by meeting others for bi sex. Also, it messed with my head considerably. The next time I had sex with my wife all I could think about was my guilt and my self-questioning. She came. I couldn't. It was like a dark cloud over both of us and it was three weeks before we had sex again, which was still with a bit of trepidation and performance anxiety on my part. She treated me to a pegging session and I exploded. Then I gave her head and all was well, but I knew she was going to want PIV sex later on that weekend and I had performance anxiety, because in truth, while I have no problem fucking her, I cum much harder when I'm being pegged than when I'm inside her. Of course, inside my head were all these little voices saying, "because you'd rather be fucking a guy, or, "you'd rather a guy fuck you". I guess there's some truth to that, but there wasn't any of those thoughts until I started masturbating to gay and bi porn, and pegging porn is filled with gay and bi scenes, too. I was perfectly happy with PIV sex and the anal play from my wife. Now, and then, it's messing with my head and has caused me to debate myself about the influence porn and social media has had on me and if I should maybe see a therapist to help me as I think I may have an addiction to porn. Maybe.

Long way to get here to the point I'm getting to.

Synopsis: had rapey anal sex as a kid, liked it, have always liked it, tried gay sex. Dissatisfied with it. Porn is prompting me to try it again. I'm fighting that. It's messing up my sex life at home. Should I get help? Has anyone experienced similar responses to the easy access to gay or bi porn and social media that maybe they wouldn't have, otherwise?

Hi there!

So I’ve been with hubby for 12 years now and I’m 33F. I always thought I was straight but lately I’ve been looking at more and more women on Reddit and I want to try something with a woman now. 🙈 has this happened to anyone else? Hubby said he wouldn’t mind me doing something with another woman, but I’m not sure what’s the best way to go about it.

So I am pan but don't feel welcome int be pan community so I am coming here instead. My husband has known since our first date 8 years ago that I am queer and that before we got together I was with a woman. I was afraid to experiment with my sexuality in college and other than that one relationship with a woman, that's been it. My husband and I have talked about threesomes and he has even told me that it would be okay if I hooked up with a woman as long as I tell him about it before it happens. I have not wanted to do that because I love him more than I thought was humanly possible and the idea of him leaving me or me hurting him makes me feel physically ill.

But lately I have been feeling weird regret about not being okay with myself and my sexuality when I was younger and not married. I feel so guilty about these thoughts and it's killing me. I love my husband and our sex life but this is messing me up. Has anyone else had this experience and what did you do about it?

Today I did something I still can’t believe. I printed out a resume right in front of my wife and told her I was going to apply at a local bath house. And she asked this evening if I had done so. I said yes, she said good. Now a couple things. 1 I haven’t always been out. Only 3 years, we’ve been married for 23 years. I’ve never really had relations with other men aside from a couple b&g’s at the adult bookstore. But the e prospect of working for a gay bathhouse has me so excited I can’t see straight. The fact that my wife was supportive is even more exciting because I feel like I can be gay with out fear. I know I’ll never have sex with her again and that’s actually ok. So anyway. Wish me luck I really want to work where men fuck. I really do.

I feel like I am am unworthy I recently came out as bi to my wife yet despite taking viagra can't get hard for my wife I feel so sexually aroused but I still can't get hard its really getting me down I feel my inability to perform is gonna end things if i dont get it sorted all I want life right now is to be able to stay hard long enough to have sex and cum surely that's not too much to ask for

The urges get stronger and more perverted the older I get..

Came out to my wife as bi over a year ago now. There’s been some definite ups and downs but overall the support and love is very much there. We’ve been figuring out how to navigate my feelings and needs together but I’m having a really hard time right now with being able to feel proud of who I am. I feel like being bi is only creating doubt in my wife’s mind. She still goes through bouts of fear that I will end up leaving her for a guy as I get more comfortable with openly acknowledging that I’m bi. I still haven’t told anybody else in my life and don’t know that I will ever purposely do it. I want to be a proud of who I truly am but can only find internal feelings of shame. Life would be so much easier if I was simply straight.

Anyone else get jealous when a lady flirts with your man? Even though you would love if she was with you. Lol 😅

I(m)52. Been married to the same beautiful woman for 23 years. And up till 3 years ago I was “straight” I came out to my wife and children as bisexual gender fluid after a bout of depression. Now three years later I’m starting to feel more feminine than masculine. (Honestly I alway have) anyway I want a boyfriend. Someone to hold me, make love to me and simply treat me like I’ve seen other women in my life get treated. And no this is not a pick up attempt. It’s a statement of fact.

Hello everybody! I’m new to the group. I’ve been exploring the subreddits of people in similar situations as mine, but haven’t quite found a match yet. Me (28 F) has been married to my husband (27 M) for 5 years and together for 10. We have an 8 year old daughter together and have a fairly okay life. By that I mean, we have a great relationship, we love each other deeply, we have a great friendship in our relationship that just makes us work. Our marriage is one that some might say they dream of or long for. Which in my opinion is great. I’ve been bisexual since early highschool. It was suppressed a lot by my family for quite sometime because they are all very conservative. That didn’t stop me from having a few girlfriends here and there. I even dated a trans M to F and loved them dearly and introduced them to my parents. My current husband is a great dad, he’s a great husband in most aspects. Except when you put the magnifying glass on us. He’s forgetful, not romantic, won’t take the lead in anything, and smokes pot every night when he knows I would rather be getting intimate. We both work M-F at relatively close to the same hours, so we are both off for the evenings and on the weekends, but still doesn’t initiate the sex or the romance or anything really. If I wanna go out to dinner I suggest it, I drive, and I pick the place. If I want something for a holiday, I have to tell him exactly what I want or he doesn’t “know what I like”. That to me sounds lazy. But oh well. I have to fish for compliments, I have to ask him if I look good, I have to give him a look to try and guess if I did something different with my hair. The list goes on. I have always loved women. I think all women are beautiful. If you think you’re ugly I will find plenty of things to go on about that’s beautiful. I just love women. I struggle with this, because I never got to truly truly experience my love for women because we’ve been together for the last decade of my life. I do want to add that I am 100% attracted to him, I am 100% loyal to him, I am 100% devoted to him. I would never act out of character of myself to act on these desires because I would expect the same respect from him. Lately, my a couple of my friends have been going through similar things with their men and both of their men have agreed and even suggested they branch out and have sex with other women while still being happily married to them. I envy that. My problem is, my husband is as straight and narrow as it gets in every aspect of his life. No cheating, no side pieces, no nothing. So I am afraid that my marriage will blow up in my face if I bring up to him that I kind of want a girlfriend. Girls just give you the attention you want, they notice the small things, they love deeper. I want to continue to be married to him and better our marriage, but also find one lady whom I can build an intense friendship with. Of course wanting that friendship to be a little deeper than just friends. I wouldn’t fall out of love with him because he is my soulmate and I love him dearly. We have been through so so much together and have built this crazy life together and we get along for the most part. We hardly ever fight. We bicker, but to be expected. But nothing ever big. How do I go about this without blowing my life up. It’s not just mine, but also my daughters. Need advice soon because I am breaking.

Hi all, I want to introduce myself because I just joined this subreddit.

I'm 45 male, bisexual, married to a bisexual woman, and with two young kids. After over two decades of internalized struggle over my sexuality ( am I gay or straight) I decided to embrace and enjoy all of my sexuality as a bisexual man.

I recently began taking Lexapro and, two weeks in, I decided I wanted to embrace bisexuality and I told my wife (who already knew and is bisexual herself). I'm also on Cialis and I took for the first time over the weekend and I haven't had sex that good since I was in my twenties. I'm also evaluating my gender role in our marriage and I'm reading "Equal Partners" with my wife to address gender inequity in our marriage. Furthermore, I'm reading Dr. Shaw's book on bisexuality to better understand my sexuality.

Now that I'm out to my wife, my sister, my medical provider, my therapist, our couple's therapist, my wife's sister, and one of my wife's friend's I'm here for support and community. I don't really understand what bisexuality means to me or how I want to express it. I'm in a monogamous marriage and have no current plans to open our marriage (although we do entertain the idea of going to sex parties for fun) and I want to know how I can express my bisexuality within it.

My (34f) husband (31m) came out to me as bisexual after a couple years of us dating after I found explicit texts to a guy in his phone. I was a mess and pregnant and had just sold my house so we could move in together. I didn't mind that he was bisexual, but I was upset he was essentially cheating. He swore up and down it would never happen again and he loved me and was attracted to me.

Eventually we got married and added another kid. About a year ago, after a small fight, I again caught him messaging someone. He said he was just mad at me and had a moment of weakness. I forgave. Last month I caught him on Grindr. I thought I saw the app on his phone but wasn't positive. I made an account and saw someone was 0 feet away. I confronted him and he denied it. I dropped it. I checked the app again and was pretty sure it was him so I sent a message that said "if you are going to lie to me (name) I'd rather you just pack your bags and leave when I get home from work." It was an empty threat but I needed to say something drastic so I could know if it was truly him or not. He came home for lunch and was super affectionate (not the norm for him). He kept asking if I was OK even though I was making sure I was acting normal to gauge his reaction. When I got home from work later, he wasn't home, didn't call me and was out late. He never does this - always calls to tell me where he is. I used the computer to check a couple things for work and noticed the history has a search for "how to tell your wife you want a divorce".

I called him and asked him to come home so we could talk. I explained the Grindr message and he said he had no clue what I was talking about. I said if he wants a divorce, let's do it. He started crying and said that isn't what he wants, he just happened to see someone videos on Instagram that made him feel like we are disconnected.

The Grindr profile was pretty obviously him, right? I'm not trying to out him or anything. I've asked many times if he wants an open situation and he says no. I just want honesty. We are rarely intimate. He doesn't really seem attracted to me to be honest. I just don't want my kids to turn 18 and him to be like, "thanks for raising the kids with me, I'm out of here" and then have to be alone at 50. I'd rather he just let me go now if he wants to be with men so I can find someone who actually is attracted to me. I do think he loves me - but more as a friend and a mother to his kids. Not a lover.

Not really sure what I'm here for. Insight? Thoughts? What might be going on in his head? I don't think he's doing anything physical with anyone...I think it's just chatting and pics. But also being bisexual doesn't give you the right to go do that stuff behind your partners back. Because I'm pretty sure he'd be crushed if he saw me sending boob pics to a guy.

I have not been able to play out my fantasy yet of a MMF experience. I want to introduce the use of a toy for me to suck and use on her. How do I go about requesting this when she is still kind of hesitant in my interest?

Wife and I, both 50’s, will be vacationing in Italy for 2 weeks soon and was looking for book recommendations with the above scenarios throughout the book. She is aware I’m bi curious and have discussed a few times of adding a another guy into the mix but have yet to make anything happen as we live in a small town and haven’t been traveling together as much. I work 4-5 months a year in Europe and she’s mentioned it would be fun to dip out toes in while traveling. Anyway I thought some hot and steamy reads would be appropriate while traveling. Recs anyone? 🤷‍♂️

I've read quite a few stories on coming out to your spouse, but I can never give any advice as my wife guessed well before we got married. Anyone else's spouse guess they were bi and what made them suspicious?

Maybe a bit off topic and a bit silly, but early on in our relationship and before we were married my wife and I were taking a trip to France. I really enjoy naturism, but at the time my wife didn't know, and there was a great nude beach near where we were staying. As it's a bit of a niche interest it felt a bit like coming out as a naturist when I told her.

I’m getting so horny lately over bi-curious scenarios. Constantly thinking of what it would be like to have a wank buddy who likes to wank together in panties! I’m mid fifties and always been straight. The wife would go mad if she knew! Thinking this could be some kind of midlife crisis…

This has probably been discussed before but another post made me wonder what everyone's preference was for pubic hair on men and women. I prefer smooth or really well trimmed on both, which is how I keep myself. Suspecting though that there will be a few that like hairy on one but smooth on the other.

Anyone else like this? I consider myself straight, but I fantasise about having a close trusted buddy to wank over shared interests with. Love the thought of getting hard over the same stuff as someone else and eventually cumming together.