So when i (F? Maybe demi-girl) was 10-11 i had my gay awakening. I did a little research (literally knew only 3 sexualities-gay, bi, lesbian) and figured im bi. Then through the years i was pan, lesbian, aroace lesbian, omnisexual and then again bisexual. Since like the end of 2022 i think i started thinking im asexual (again) but i just brushed it off. Im not sure for how long now but i think more than six months i again identify as asexual (still also bi).

Im gonna make a jump here and talk about my dating experience. So around the time i was les (march of 2022) i was dumb and got into an online, long distance relationship with a girl. I have never met her but as stupid as i was then. In the fall of 2022 my (then) girlfriend started questioning her gender and started using they/them. I was still lesbian and for that long period i felt no attraction to men. Then they came out as trans and i helped him pick out a name and all. And then i became omni. Because he was a boy, and i was a lesbian. I loved just him tho. I wanted to be with him no matter what gender he was (mind you we still never met). I then realised that i was STILL attracted to men and women and everyone, so omni. In January of 2023 we broke up (doesnt matter why now). So it was my first and only “real” relationship.

Now i have heard of panromantic, biromantic and i know way more sexualities then i did when i was 10. I googled them when i found out but that was a few years ago so i forgot the meaning. I have been identifying as an asexual bisexual. And a few days ago i was like “wait whats biromantic?” So i googled ofc. I dont really have any sexual attraction to others. Sometimes i have a high libido (usually when i have or will get my period), but i dont look at someone and be like “i want to have sex with them”. Sure women and men r hot, but yk. Now i am not so familiar with the biromantic meaning, but i think i might be it? As far as i understood it is a bisexual person who is only romantically attracted to others, which i am. But i dont wanna identify as something im not. I need to act straight in school but that doesnt stop me from being bullied. Once theres a rumor (in my case a true one) people will NOT let go. But thats beside the point.

So yeah. This is a bit of a rant but advice will be appreciated 🫶

So.. i know im a straight asexual but lately I've been noticing that I'm starting to "like" some girls..? Im not sure if like as in i have a crush or its just a "girl crush".(im female btw). They all have something in common, masculine/boyish kind of girls. Some are just naturally pretty though. I dont see myself wanting to have them in a relationship/ wanting to date them like guys. But i guess i find them aesthetically attractive.. but then there'd be nights when I'm just thinking about this girl. I DONT KNOW ANYMORE I NEED HELP AND ADVICE. How did you guys find out and come to terms to being biromantic?

Romantically, emotionally, aesthetically, intellectually, [but not sexually], attracted to women and men (and maybe even non-binary people) but still can’t pull anyone💪🏻

So the last while, I have really been questioning myself not really knowing what I like and dislike, like I know for a fact I like women and would've considered myself straight because of that. Like I am both romantically and sexually attracted to women but then there is men, and its just strange cus it is like I am getting that feeling you get when you were like really young and you can't grasp the concept of kissing, sex or really any intimacy but you still are attracted to someone. Things have somewhat developed since but what had me start questioning this a few weeks back was the attraction I had towards some males, like I found them attractive and even think I have a type, but the same way I like a pretty face with women, I like a pretty face with a guy, but I find any kind of intimacy with a man just icky, like kissing and penises all weird, like not in general if I saw two guys together it would be fine, but just me with a guy in my head didn't work, even tho ig I found this dude and a couple of other guys attractive and still do. I guess the development now is that, I have thought of like holding hands or maybe even kissing and, it doesn't actually feel weird, it doesnt make me feel good tho either it just doesn't feel as icky. Anything sexual tho is still the same, I just dislike anything sexual with a male, that is how I came across the term biromantic, I just wasn't sure if I was stretching to fit the category of biromantic cus I could just be a straight guy with a few exceptions and thats fine, I'm just wondering ig

For context, I’m not talking the scenes on most adult films found on x-rated sites but more like scenes described in books, seen or described in video games, and movies that border on erotic. Now I have no problem with the romantic scenes but when it gets sexual I get super uncomfortable.

But no sexual attraction but romantically attracted to them...same goes to boys 💀

Hi all, I’m a 26F who has been questioning on-and-off for about 2 years now. I’ve never tried anything sexual with another girl and have never really had the desire to. However, I once had a girl friend who had a lot of masculine traits (looking back I sometimes wonder if she was secretly gay— we were both in the evangelical church) and whom I had a sex dream about once. That was when I first started questioning, but since I was in the church at that time I tried to avoid the topic all together. I started getting a lot of anxiety about it and even now that I left the church, I’m still very confused. I was diagnosed with OCD and was having OCD thoughts about it about 2 years ago (OCD thoughts meaning even after you’ve “resolved the question” in your brain, you feel the urge to rethink it over and over again). My therapist helped me stop obsessing over the question by saying, “so what if you’re bi or gay? What if you are?” And I didn’t really have an answer for her. That resolved it for the time, and I didn’t really think about it much since then- I sort of accepted that sometimes I’m attracted to women, but wouldn’t do anything sexual with them.

Now, recently, my best friend and I were up late on the phone and said I love you for the first time, after we had both admitted that it was difficult for us to do with friends and close family members but that it’s actually something we’d like to incorporate in our lives. In that moment, I felt turned on- I think it was the emotional intimacy? Because whenever I try picturing doing something sexual with her, it’s just too weird. Doesn’t come naturally and isn’t appealing to me.

I guess now I’m just wondering whether a “label” would help put my mind to rest and help me stop wondering about it constantly. Is emotional intimacy in general a turn on for bi-romantics? The thought of going on a date with a woman is also..idk it just feels too awkward for me. I appreciate any advice!

Because I have a guy best friend and we are just that. Now I consider my self to be mostly asexual, but I still do like to participate in the activity, but only with him. Mind you, we don't want to date; tried that for a couple months, didn't really work out. But still like Doing It™ with each other once in a while, so we decided this, whatever "this' is exactly, is what works best for us. But idk what to call this other than FWB or fck buddies and I don't like either of those names. And I don't think "situationship" is the right term either

So glad I found this group.

36/male/bi in Chicago. At some point you just start wanting more than superficial physical connections and start wanting physical intimacy and affection and deep kissing with your lover regardless of their gender/orientation. I’ve noticed this lacking in the bisexual men I’ve come across. Because let’s face it, only a bi guy can understand a bi guy?

Here’s a question primarily for the males (female free to respond):

At what point did the switch from simply “sexual“ to “romantic“ happen?

I (24F) am going on a date with a woman for the first time. I went to bisexual Reddit for some advice and decided to take a leap of faith and go on a date. I've flirted before, kissed a friend or two, the standard bicurious shenanigans. But now that I'm talking to someone and have a date set, I'm feeling both excited and confused. I'm definitely attracted to her, I think she's beautiful and a really sweet person, but there's a lack of sexual feelings. We have a date tomorrow and I'm super excited, but can't shake this feeling that it isn't sexual for me. Maybe I'm just anxious because I'm a whole ass adult dating women for the first time, or maybe I have romantic feelings, just not sexual ones. I'm feeling quite confused. Maybe once we have our date I'll have some clarity. I've been daydreaming about holding her hand, paying for her dinner and generally spending time with her, but sex hasn't really been part of it. Hell, I've even thought about our "Barbie and the diamond castle" themed wedding, but the honeymoon seems to be where I stop fantasising. In contrast, when I'm dating men sex is definitely on my mind. I've been questioning my sexuality for a few years now, feeling attracted to women and femme presenting people but never going for it out of fear that I'm maybe not bi. I'm feeling really confused about my feelings and need some guidance.

I think I'm biromantic, which honestly kind of ticks me off because I've quizzed myself on this for years and ended with "No, I'm not." Why did my brain??? Lie???

*Moderators have allowed me to post this*
Hi everyone!

I'm Lynn, a graduate student in Women Gender and Sexuality Studies at UAlbany currently researching bisexuality and bi+ labels as identities through focus groups.

A little bit about me: I've been out as bisexual since I was 13, and by the end of my undergrad in sociology I realized that I had read so much about gender, (Het/Homo)sexuality, and feminist theory, but none of my assignments ever included anything about bisexuality. In graduate school, I decided to address that and took a deep dive into bisexual literature (growing more frustrated as I realized how relevant this was to my coursework). I've been reading and writing about bisexuality ever since. Now that I'm in my last year of my MA, I get to conduct my own research and I've chosen to highlight bisexual people's voices and experiences.

For this project, I'll be conducting guided virtual focus groups (no longer than 2hours), where we will be discussing different aspects of your journey and experience identifying with a Bi+ label.

If you're interested in participating or would like to see if you are eligible, feel free to complete this survey: https://forms.office.com/r/mAWWPdcsSW
Thank you so much for your support!

UAlbany IRB approval document: https://1drv.ms/b/s!Ali4RLVwBVYfg2sOndl5KdxfoQIc?e=Dyxsuu

IRB study number: 23X241

Any questions please contact me at: lriosrivera@albany.edu

https://preview.redd.it/ml6jeyr8b55c1.png?width=1545&format=png&auto=webp&s=a4d6889a1f888f1861528bd40fa87787f9ef29aa

I am currently 13(male) and I feel sexually attracted to females and romantic feelings for both genders is this just bi-romatucal I don't know but my friends told me to come here so could anyone help me.

I am currently 13 (male) I feel sexual attraction towards females and romantic attraction towards males (same sex) I am kind of lost I don't know what I am and was wondering if anyone could give me some pointers? Pls

Hi there. I recently discovered the microlabel "aegosexual" and felt it described me well. Now I am wondering if there are sorts of microlabels for romantic orientation too. What I mean is specific labels to describe how attracted you are to various genders. Personally I find myself imagining myself more with guys and I typically see more guys I find cute than girls. However I still do sometimes get attracted to women. I was wondering if there are any terms for this, or just a list of microlabels so I can see which might fit best (if any). I've heard of the Kinsey scale, but besides the fact that it's technically for sexuality, it's also less elegant to say, for example, "I'm a 5 on the Kinsey scale." I didn't find any good results online, and it seems like microlabels are more common for aromanticism than allo- (it's possible I might also be somewhere on that spectrum, but that's besides the point). Any advice or resources would be appreciated!

Recently I had been questioning whether or not I was a lesbian after I discovered that I wasn't sexually attracted to male bodies. I always identified as bisexual since I've had intense romantic feelings for both sexes... But when it comes down to sex itself I realized that I preferred women. Even when watching straight porn my focus would entirely be on the woman. I just pretended the men weren't there and even felt disgusted by their bodies even if they were "attractive". Even in past relationships with men sex sort of felt like a chore past a certain point. I liked kissing and cuddling but the sex itself has always been meh. My partners bodies never disgusted me, they were just something I wasn't very into.

I feel like I finally know myself a lot better. Being a biromantic homosexual just feels right. I just don't know if I should come out to the man I'm in a relationship with. He always knew I liked women too, but something like this would make him feel like I'm not as into him, even though I truly want to spend the rest of my life with him. Nothing in our relationship would really change so maybe it's not worth mentioning?

So I (13 f) have a friend (13 f) and when I met her I thought I was cupioromantic (want to be in love but can't) so I told her I was and she told me she was too BUT now it's been two weeks an did fell in love with her so now I identify as demiromantic biromantic and asexual but I didn't tell her so she still think I'm cupioromantic. The thing is she call me "my baby" and I call her "my baby" too but I don't know if she call me that to joke or not 🫤 and recently she told me that she ship her oc (her oc literally REPRESENT HER) with my oc (THAT LITERALLY REPRESENT ME) WTFFFF I'M TOO CONFUSED

So I (f19) have been questioning on and off for about a year or 2 if I’m biromantic or not.

I would usually question myself because I would see fictional wlw relationships and have strong feelings towards them including longing, sadness, and envy. But then I would realize that I’ve never had a crush on a girl in real life but have had a lot of small crushes on boys. So I would continue saying I’m straight because I like the idea of being with a woman but have a hard time actually picturing myself dating one and have never felt romantic attraction towards one irl.

Then I tried looking at women irl and really thinking about the possibility of having a romantic relationship with them, and while it felt different and less intense then it does with guys, I could kinda see myself being attracted to them!

And this lead me to thinking more about my female coworker, who’s around my age and who I’ve talked to a few times. When I first met her I think I felt strong platonic feelings for her, especially since I love her aesthetic/appearance! But when I started thinking about maybe having a relationship with her, I felt my cheeks get hot and felt more nervous around her then I usually do with people.

I asked another coworker who knew her more if she had a boyfriend, and they said they didn’t think so. But I didn’t really feel excited or anything when I learned this.

Later, me and her exchanged social media. I was scrolling through her photos and thought about how pretty she was, how I wish I was with her in those moments. Then I saw that she does have a boyfriend, and shed a tear or two as I looked at the photos of them together.

But the next day, when I decided to look at the same pictures, I didn’t feel the same longing, I didn’t feel anything really, so I don’t know where those feelings went.

So I’m not really sure if I’m feeling just strong platonic/aesthetic attraction towards her or romantic attraction? Especially because it feels different then with guys I know for sure I’ve had a crush on. And I only really felt those feelings when I focused on them and reminded myself that being bi is a possibility and asked myself if I’m attracted to women, instead of letting it happen naturally.

Idk if I’m just faking this? Is it a sign that I keep questioning every few months, or is it normal for straight people to do that too?

I've liked maybe one or two people in my life both were guys but I'd get desgusted with the thought of doing anything Sexual with either one of them kissing them felt pretty bad too but I still really liked them and then there's girls. Doing anything sexual with girls feels great every time but it's just...that .kissing still wasn't making me feel anything. No romantic feelings. Am I supposed to like wait until something changes or just accept that I'm never going to feel both attractions for someone.

I'm so fucking relieved! I meant to post this sooner but it just popped back into my head. I didn't think I would come out to anyone else other than my boyfriend. He was the first to know.

I went to see my childhood friend on Saturday to celebrate 20 years of friendshi, we haven't had a girls night out in a few years since she lives a few towns away, usually it'd be her and her boyfriend that I'd be hanging withand plus she's now a mother to a soon to be 1 year old! a.k.a my Nephew. It was so nice catching up and we'll definitely be doing more especially now since her little guy is getting older.

We used to just vent and let everything out that was bottled up when it would be us hanging out, and this was before I was dating my boyfriend (4yrs with him) The topic of sexuality came up and I knew already she was bi but it had been a year since she mentioned it but she forgot that she had told me and I then I said that I'm bi as well, but I specified Biromantic, she didn't question it and of course just like my boyfriend and my other friends she was very accepting. I told her I don't plan on telling my family, that's something I'd rather take to the grave.

Her and one of my other friends who lives in the states are bi, we're the bi trio! 🤣

Hi, I'm 30,F. I have a girlfriend and considered myself as a bisexual my whole life. Same for her. We are together for ten years,she is really pretty girl and I love her so much, but I'm not sexually attracted to her, and I'm not sexually attracted to women in general in the last five years,I mean, at all.You know, women are beautiful, sexy and stuff, but I don't want any sexual interaction with them. I want to cuddle with my gf, sleep with her (in non sexual way), kiss her, give her my money and all I have, but I don't have sexual desire for her or for any woman. Sexually I'm attracted to men, mentally/romantically I'm attracted to both, men and women. On the other hand, my gf says that she is bisexual that attracted to men and women equally. First of all, I feel like an imposter in the LGBTQ+ community because idk, am I biromantic heterosexual? The second thing is I'm afraid if my gf know that I'm sexually attracted to men the last five or more years she will leave me. And I don't want her to think that she is the reason why I'm not attracted to women, she is beautiful and attractive but I can't change my natural body reactions. And I love her and don't wanna lose her. What do you think? Could my sexuality just change, am I imposter? May be I am just lesbian, or straight... I'm absolutely confused.Im so tired of these thoughts.

Ps sorry for my English, it's my 2nd language

Up until recently, I thought I was heterosexual. My sexuality has evolved and I realize now I am biromantic. It's always been there but I never explored it when I was younger -- likely in part to the homophobia in society that naturally suppressed the exploration but also because I was interested in men sexually. I've been happily married for 15+ years to a hetero husband and we have two beautiful kids. Realizing now that I am biromantic is the most awkward position. Does it functionally change our relationship? Should it? Should I tell someone, him? Or is it just something you "know" about yourself? I have yearnings to cuddle with a woman but I don't want to have sex with them. I don't want to "cheat" on my husband but could argue that cuddling with a female friend is not "cheating" if you're not sexual. Anyway, I am just very confused how I "apply" this new epiphany in my life in the most loving way possible, especially to my husband who I love, care deeply about, and is the one person I know I want to grow old with. ❤️ Would love your thoughts!

Hello everyone. I wanted to talk about my sexuality.

I'm 21F and i know for sure i'm attracted to men romantically and sexually. But, since i was a teen i'd always feel somewhat excited and giddy around masculine women. I remember when i was 12/13 i used to often see this tall handsome masculine woman on my way to school and for some reason i'd always feel like i feel around hot men and definitely not how i feel around feminine women. I think i was attracted to her. In my high school there was a girl from another class who also made me feel this way- kinda shy and nervous when i'd see her- she is also pretty masculine and toboyish. Also, in my class there was one girl who is a lesbian, i'd say she is "my type" and ever since i met her the first time, i had this unexplainable desire of becoming her friend and i loved talking to her. The first time i wondered if i maybe liked a girl was in the 7th grade when i was extremely close with one of my friends at the time. I just always laughed with her, we talked every day for hours, she was so special to me, i even felt a bit nervous sometimes around her. It was really strange. LGBTQ+ community was always interesting to me for some reason, i loved meeting non-straight people and most of my now friends are non-straight. So, having all this in mind, i came out as bisexual a couple of months ago. And it all made sense. I was very excited and i told all of my friends. As the time goes by, i am more and more comfortable about my feelings for girls. I love wlw movies, songs, everything. I just love the idea of being romantic with a hot masculine girl. But, i am unsure about the sexual part. See, ever since i was a kid i knew i was sexually attracted to men. The thought of having sex with a woman is just neutral to me. It's hard for me to see female body in a sexual manner, like i do with male body. When i'm having sexual fantasies, in 95% it's about men (sometimes i'll have some sexual fantasies ahout women since i came out, but before that never). So, maybe i am biromantic heterosexual? Tbh i really wish my romantic and sexual orientation were aligned. I'd really want to date girls, but i don't want to fall in love with someone who i'm not sexually attracted to, since sex is very important to me in a relationship. I was really happy when i came out as bi, but now i'm thinking it would be better if i was just straight. I hope one day i'll find out i'm demisexual for women or something 🥲

Thank you for reading!

I(19f) am not sure of my sexuality yet...but I do for sure know that I am romantically attracted to all genders(mostly men because that is how I was taught to be since childhood).

A little background - I've always accepted that I wasn't necessarily heterosexual and had feelings for more than just men, and except for a few judgmental friends my close ones have all been accepting about it too. But I've always had boyfriends and have been sexual with them. But never ever enjoyed it.

The situation - So a few months ago while I was in the middle of pleasuring myself, I realised that whenever I do it, it gas always been thoughts about women that excite me...they always have, ever since I started to think of pleasure...but then again when I was with my ex(21m bf of over 4years) and we were together in a room... I would feel the wish to get intimate not necessarily sexual but to hold him and cuddle and even kiss...but nothing that had anything to do with his genetalia... I have never been into penetration and just the thought of it makes me gag and uncomfortable... honestly anything that has to do with the male genetalia doesn't excite me... I have tried it because I wanted my ex-partner (whom I loved dearly and still do)to feel pleasured and loved equally, but it never brought me any pleasure So I am confused about my orientation... because I am attracted to both but also fail to feel any excitement towards the male genitals.

If you want you ask any questions you can in the comments, I will answer. I'm seriously in need of some clarity. I hope someone understands the situation more than me :')

She/they 28 years old. Elementary school teacher Anime lover YA novel reader Photography beginner Video game player (ish lmaoo) All kinds of music lover. Let’s talk on discord or Snapchat 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Hi ! I'm a 15 years old boy and I think finally found who I am. I first though I was gay when I had crush on a boy in middle school before realizing I also liked a girl. I ended think I was bisexual. The problem is that I'm not sexually attracted to girls at all. After some researches, I found what was Biromantic. So now here I am. I identify as Biromantic gay (is that the right term ?) and also demiromantic. I just wanted to tell people !

Heads up, this is a long one -

I’ve created a throwaway account; not because I am afraid someone I know will come across this, but only because I’m not sure where things fall for me yet and I’m struggling to figure all of this out and I don’t want to think things are one way so I come out to my loved ones, but then I end up being another and then have to take it all back.

A little background about myself - I (m) am in my mid-fourties and very happily married to an amazing woman. We’re expecting our first child (yay!) in a few months and I am not remotely questioning my love/attraction/desire for this person. I also have very supportive family and friends that would never judge me regardless of where all of this goes.

All that being said, something that’s cropped up throughout my life has come to the forefront of my mind again and instead of suppressing it or blowing it off, I felt it was finally time to look it in the face and understand more about myself.

Ever since I first began understanding romantic attraction, I’ve been into a good number of people, most of them girls (as a young boy, women later, obviously), but sometimes I would develop feelings for a boy (or man as an adult). This confused me because while I recognized that a man was physically attractive and I was attracted to them partially for that reason, I’ve never thought about sleeping with men as readily as I do about sleeping with women. This is not to say if I had ever dated a man, it wouldn’t get there eventually, but it’s not as much in the forefront of my mind as sleeping with women is. I have however had a desire to cuddle, hold hands, embrace, even kiss, but that's where the line has always been drawn in my thoughts.

Because I wasn’t really into men sexually, I just dismissed this as some weird thing and tried not to think about it. I eventually would start dating another woman and I would forget about those feelings. It’s not that there was shame, I just didn’t understand how I could be romantically interested in a man but not have an immediate desire to also bed them.

This leads me to today. There aren’t any men that I’m interested in, and haven’t been for the past decade (since I met my wife). I still can see myself being interested in dating a man if I ever had to enter the dating world again (please no).

I assume that this all means that I am biromantic, and possibly bisexual but leaning heavily hetero. Some help to figure this all out would be fantastic.

Also, I somewhat struggle to decide if coming out to my wife, family, and friends is even worth doing since it wouldn’t change my life in any major way - I have no desire to ever separate from my wife, and genuinely hope that I never have to start dating again.

If I do come out, my only real concern is my wife worrying that staying with her would deprive me of a part of my life that I’d never get to actualize. I want to reassure her that that is not at all the case if that comes up.

Again, sorry for the ridiculous length and rambling. This was more of a stream of consciousness post than anything else.

Any help or advice would be incredibly helpful.

TIA!

Hey everybody. In most cases I don't feel a difference between love and romantic love. On an intellectual level, I haven't been able to frame it in a way that distinguishes them well either. Is there a difference between the two when it doesn't have anything to do with physical attraction? I've been thinking unproductively about this on and off for years, and it occurred to me that you might have some insights. Thanks.