Was talking to one of my friends today, a guy who's primarily attracted to guys physically but cannot get that same emotional attachment and is more attracted to women in that sense. That's the same for me but reverse genders.

I've never once looked at a guy on the street and said "ooh baddie" I just kinda... Tolerate them physically once I form an emotional connection? But with women I am actively attracted to them I just can not for the life of me get that romantic attachment.

Is anyone else like this? This feels like an evil prank on both my friend and I.

Hey, y'all. I'm in a committed sapphic relationship but I'm someone that likes my neat wittle labels for everything I experience and this has been driving me up a wall.

I'm pretty sure I liked men when I was younger in the way I like women far more now. And I had a preference for men and was pretty sure it wasn't comp-het. Even now I find men attractive. In the way that I'd be with a man for a night or two, yk? But my preference for women is so strong that (4B movement aside) I'd probably choose to just not date a man because a woman might come along later. Like, I just don't see myself with a guy. But I know it could work? I just don't particularly want that for myself.

So back to my original question. Is it just possible that I was bisexual when I was a bit younger but now I'm somewhere closer to homoromantic bisexual? Even if there isn't a straight (ha) answer, I'd greatly appreciate any resources y'all could point me to!

Has any guy on here dealt with biphobia (whether internal or external)? How did you get over that feeling of shame especially if you come from a homophobic family/background?

Do you tell straight women and gay men you're bisexual or do you keep it a secret? I'm trying to get comfortable with my sexuality but the negative connotations I see about bisexuals holds me back sometimes :>

For a while I have been fantasising about other guys, its been happening on and off for 4 years but the past months I have felt it again, I honestly wanna experiment and I wanna kiss a guy (pretty boy type). I have cuddled w a guy before and I enjoyed it, prolly the same way I would with a girl. I remember being spooned and I enjoyed it, I think I might be Bi.

When you say you are bi everyone says how their bi gf cheated on them whatever it was in the lesbian or gay community and it seems no one takes bisexuals seriously as if we're serial cheaters or something did anyone notice that

agente nunca teve nada além de amizade até pela distância não teria como, mais ela já perguntou se ficaria com ela brincando e eu disse que sim, mais nunca fiquei com mulher, eu não via ela desse jeito até certo tempo, depois disso fiquei pensando em como seria,o problema é que ela mora longe e agora ela namora

Throwaway account as I didn't want some people to find out 🤣

So I'm m19 - like until 9 months ago I was pretty sure I was hetero; but I've recently been having fantasies/attraction to same sex

I'm currently taking to this guy! He's so hot and I can't stop thinking about him. I've never dated men before and would be really nervous, but this guy gives me butterflies

I'm not sure what's best to start with if I should initiate something? I'm not 100% if he's gay/bi but someone I know said he was

Any help is appreciated - thank youuuu 😊

I don't know if what I'm going through is normal.

Basically, most of my life I have been a lesbian(I knew since elementary school) but last year I discovered that I could be attracted to men. After a year of trying to embrace this fact and trying to become comfortable with intimacy with men, I realized that for quite a while now I have not been attracted to women.

The thought of kissing a woman doesn't excite me anymore and anything more than that I am repulsed by. I have no idea what's going on and have never been through something like this.

So my questions are these:

Has anyone gone through something similar?

And was it permanent or just a phase?

Few days ago I posted saying about my story and the experiences how they affected me etc over the 20-25 year battle i'm having. Well I decided to elaborate on what experiences I've had.

My first gay experience was nothing special really just me & my mate home alone doing what young horny guys do looking at porn. We got talking and it we started talking about sex and what we liked etc one of the friend group came out few weeks before as gay and it was discussed if we would ever consider going with a guy. We both said we hadn't thought but was sort of curious. So as we were sure in our sexuality agreed to try a kiss see how we felt. Well that kiss turned into a snog and after about 5mins my mate breaking the kiss to bolt out the house.

My 2nd gay experience was again nothing special we met up few weeks later again home alone got talking about sex again and the curiosity of gay sex reared it's head before long were snogging again my hand slipped into his trousers grabbing his hardening cock and slowly giving him a handjob. He blows a load then bolts out the door.

My 3rd time wasn't much better again a few weeks we met up he instigates it where he asks me to suck him off. We get on my bed snogging and few kisses down his chest before sliding his hard cock out his trousers and I give him my first blowjob. He blows a load then the guilt hits we need to stop this I'm not gay or bi I hate this it's affecting me etc he says.

So we do probably 10-15 years pass were I'm battling myself struggling to understand where this conflicting & confusion has come from visiting a gay bar a few times and getting nowhere mainly due to me backing out being to scared to act on feelings.

Out the blue we start talking by text and he says he's been looking at gay porn etc. We get talking and next time we met up we end up in my bed swapping blowjobs. Few days later it happens again another hot & heavy swapping of blowjobs. Again though he's like we need to stop I'm not gay or bi.

So we do I'm left again sure I'm not straight but not gay as I still fancied women but was I actually bi as I didn't fancy guys just the sexual aspect.

Sorry its a long one again but that's about it 25ish years later from my first time and still none the wiser lol 😆

So, long story short, I (30s, M) identified as fully gay all my life until a few years ago when I started to realize I'd had some fantasies about being sexual with women for a long time. They were very fleeting, and my attraction to men romantically and sexually was always stronger. However, since going to therapy (for CPTSD) and doing as lot of healing, I've been finding my attraction to women has increased a lot to the point where, athough I am still almost entirely homoromantic and only really feel that warm, fuzzy, , butterflies-in-my-stomach fondness for guys, I am actually more aroused by women on a day-to-day basis and most of my masturbation/sexual fantasies now involve women.

However, I am finding I get the same sort of "post-nut revulsion" that heteroromantic bi guys often describe when they start indulging their same-sex attractions, only in reverse. Every time I orgasm thinking of having sex with a woman, I feel a bit grossed out and the feeling of "WTF did I just do?" and all sexual attraction to women just seems to disappear completely and I'm left wondering if I'm just gay after all and the attraction to women is just some weird kink or fetish I've developed. But then... the refractory period ends and I want to look at pussy and women's feet and asses again. But I still only want to be romantically involved with a man ultimately.

The common answer of "internalized homophobia" that definitely seems to play a role for heteroromantic bi guys doesn't seem to fit in my case. "Internalized heterophobia" seems like very weird thing to have, especially since we're steeped in such a heterosexist culture where heterosexual relationships are held up as this ideal.

Does anyone have advice on how to work through this? I would love to experience sex with a woman one day, but I don't want to "use" her as just a sex object to get off from. I'm wondering if I should just stay identified as gay since I only want to pursue LTRs with men in the end, and it's not even worth trying to process this anyway at my age... help :(

Hi, I am 19 y. old guy from Finland. The thing with me is that I have had little crushes few times on men my age but never something serious etc. When I was a kid I only liked girls but something changed when I was the age of 11. I kinda new acknowledged that men were hot? But sexually attracted when I was around 13 and I was really uncomfortable about it.

For long time I thought that I’d be maybe gay but I never defined my sexuality, because I liked women for their looks etc but I wasn’t really sexually attracted to them. Only on emotional level. But in May 2023 in school I met a girl which I legit fell head over heels for. I haven’t had such a feeling of love or really really huge crush for anybody since I was the age of 9.

I fell in such a identity crisis because of it cause I wen’t through a lot to come in terms with my sexuality at the age of 15. And now suddenly I really liked this person. Also for the first time I was sexually attracted to female body and her but that happened only after when I fell for her. Unfortunately it didin’t work out and it took me a lot of time to get over her.

I turned 19 in October this year, and I'm still virgin which has kinda these last couple of months bothered me because I feel like i'M READY but also NOT, and kinda shamed but really not? I’d say that I’m attractive person and I can be kinda picky sometimes but I’m also really self aware person even when it comes to myself and also really critical.

I come from a backround that it wouldn't be allowed for me to download Tinder, Hinge or especially Grindr with my own pics. I also kinda don't know how to meet women nor gay/bi men other than grindr which I have used sometimes but only for seeing what is out there and maybe sending a shooting my shot with people I’m attracted to. One rule that I’m not ready to negotiate with is that the person I may be with has to around my age 18-20 and special. I feel like it is really big thing for me not only because of my religious backround but to me also as a person. Because of that it that has appeared kinda hard to find ppl my age or the perfect match. Especially because the city I live in (Helsinki) has few bi or gay men my age that are like me masculine but not overly like (basic)

After the experience with the girl I liked is that I’m suddenly attracted to women sexually but not as much compared to men. I’m confused because I’m not sure what I wanna sexually do with men. I’m not for example attracted to their 🍑, But I still fantasize about D. When it comes to women I feel like I would have to like her or at least be friends / know her to do something. So no I’m not like most straight guys that can be really horny over Tinder for a women thay don’t know. When it comes to men I probably would…

I’m just really confused person and I don’t know what is coming for me. Kinda feel that guys my age whether gay / bi or straight has strated their sexual lives, but here I am stuck with zero purpose atm, I’m also having a gap year and working. I have also had this thought that I should lean back more towards religion and do it kinda the ”proper way” but very unlikely.

Please bee free and say what you feel like about my situation. Ask if u wanna know someting or didin’t get some part. ❤️

I’m a male bisexual but I hate it, I wanted to be straight. Is this normal?

Bi 31M married to a straight 29F here. About 5-ish years ago, I had a sort of sexual awakening after a MFM threesome with my wife took a bit of a turn. Long story short, we'd had a pair of decidedly straight threesomes with this guy, and on our third one, I guess both of us guys had gotten a bit bi-curious, and we messed around with each other. The experience itself was meh (wasn't particularly attracted to him) but it did flip a switch in my brain. It was this very profound moment of self-discovery. "Huh, guess I'm not so straight after all."

For various reasons, that was the last threesome my wife and I had. My wife got jealous, and between that and a super awkward MFF we'd had with a friend, the experience was ruined for her. Ever since then, though, I've had this feral, ravenous need to suck cock. We've tried simulating the experience with toys and such, but it's not even close to the same. Additionally, seeing me explore this new side of myself makes my wife super uncomfortable, but she can't really articulate why that is.

I wish so badly that I'd discovered this years ago, so I maybe could've gotten it out of my system. I feel like I'm really gonna regret it if I don't explore this part of myself. I'm also autistic, and have a lot of difficulty forcing myself to not obsess over things I want like this. I don't think I'm capable of simply making my peace with never doing this again.

The only courses of action I can see here are to either find some way to ease my wife back into the threesome scene, or figure out a solo way to satisfy my desires. I've just got no idea how to go about doing any of that. Any suggestions?

The amount of times I hear and I imagine so does everyone else. "Your boyfriend must be so lucky that your a bisexual" or just people talking in general that if a man is dating a bisexuality woman hes the luckiest person on earth. Like ICK . I haven't fully came out yet especially because I know the comments like this will be never ending 😮‍💨

I shared all the lovely things about being in a relationship with a queer dude and after talking about it for a little while my mom has decided that she wants a queer boyfriend. Now, mama is 62 and lives in Alabama. Where the hell is she going to find a queer man, her age at? I recommended trying online. But do y’all know what dating site to start with? Is there a site for all queers to mingle? Or all bi/pan sexual to mingle?

I am looking for bisexual female friends. What are some good apps I can use. Tinder is a scam to be honest.

i started liking this girl about a year ago. we’re really good friends. over this time, she’s been very active in the lgbtq+ community, said she’s bisexual, and even had pretty gay usernames and profile pics. so, like any normal person, i assumed she liked girls.

a mutual friend of ours told me, “oh, she definitely likes you.” she messes with my hair, plays with my earrings, cares too much when i’m not there, blushes while texting me, and never says who she’s texting. i’m a pretty self-aware person with low self-esteem, but when someone says the girl you’ve been in love with definitely likes you back, your hopes are going to rise. i was hopeful, not delusional.

then yesterday, she told me, “i don’t even know if i like girls. i can’t tell the difference between platonic and romantic feelings, and maybe i just like the idea of being with a girl since i’ve never had romantic feelings for one.”

god. damn. it.

i just am so attached now esp since she’s a very close friend and distancing would also be tough. i have no idea how to move on

Okay so weird question but here's the gist: I am not attracted to genitals I'm attracted to people. I didn't find male genitalia attractive until I started having sex with people I loved. I have since had good experiences with men even if I don't necessarily love them but generally lean more demisexual.
I have made out with many women, probably equally as many as men. I have also found women equally as attractive as men, but I have never been in love with a woman. It makes no difference to me which gender pleasures me in terms of enjoyment or accepting it.
BUT I have literally no interest in pleasuring a woman below the belt. I had an experience recently where I engaged in this a little and it didn't do anything for me in the way it does for men but I also didn't love the woman I was interacting with. I am confused, am I just selfish with women sexually if I don't derive pleasure from giving them pleasure, is it the demi thing, or maybe I'm just weird on the kinsey? If anyone is similar would love to hear your thoughts bc this has kept me from coming out as bi as well

Hi, coming to this forum from latebloomerlesbains. I'm (32F) recently married to a man (M37)--he's an absolute sweetheart, I trust him immensely and we have a great life together that I'm terrified to lose. I have been questioning my sexuality for decades, considered myself bisexual for the majority of it, and have had a few sexual experiences with women. Now that I'm married, I'm experiencing panic and a sense of grief which I attributed to possibly being a lesbian. After talking to some great people on the previous forum, I'm now wondering if my feelings have less to do with being a lesbian, and more to do with feeling utterly invisible in my new hetero marriage. So much of my personality, sexual fantasies, and community is based on queerness; I feel safest and myself in queer circles. I'm in love with and now married to a hererosexual, cis man, and confused about how to still exist in queerness and express myself. Before my wedding, of my friends even said "Remember how you used to think you liked women?". This really hurt my feelings and made me feel repressed. Conversely, I feel like being so dedicated to a queer identity isn't fair to my husband--why do I crave expression of my queerness when I "chose" him?

Has anyone else felt this way? I've been struggling since my wedding and could use some advice.

My high-brow literature friends would torch me for this, but I've been wanting to write a bi romance book I'm wondering if there's something already out there that's really similar.

It's about a femme bi woman who is secretly in love with her best friend (a straight femme) and struggles with internalized homophobia. It's sort of a wish fulfillment story where the main character magically (and unwittingly) transforms into a man, and in her new form, she tries to get her bff to fall in love with her.

The protagonist isn't definitively trans -- I'm thinking that in this man's body, she sometimes feels hot and sometimes feels intense dysphoria. She feels more comfortable being attracted to women when she's in this male form, but because she likes men and NBs, too, her internalized homophobia still haunts her. The bottom line is that she has to learn to embrace her bisexuality and also accept that she can't make someone love her.

Is this a story that's already out there? If so, I'd really like to read it and see if I can put my own spin on it for a similar narrative! Thanks!

This might sound like a troll post but hear me out. Anyone else ever just stop being gay? I was gay for most of my early life. Only attracted to dudes until I broke up with my last bf at 22. Then I spent a few years to get my life together then I dated a divorcee at 26 and from them on I’ve only ever been attracted to women. My friends suggested I might be bi but just lean more toward women these days. But I’m not so sure. I mean I wasn’t before. Can your sexuality shift that drastically? Am I just straight now do you guys think I’m bi? This is really fucking with my head.

I haven’t had any experience with another dude, but I’ve played with some toys. My fantasy is to bottom, but I’m concerned that I might not feel anything. I wonder if I’m not going deep enough. Anybody else experience this?

I need a straight guy (only bi when he wants) baited on Instagram. I can pay whoever does it let me know asap please

So I 29m have in the last few years gotten my life together and peaceful for the most part just recently, and it's given me some clarity I have not had the chance to have while doing what I would call survival mode. It's had me thinking about my past behaviour with guilt and a better understanding. I'm used to struggling at work alot and I used to do alot of sexual deviant things. In a previous relationship I used to find men i thought were hot and let them sleep with my girlfriend, and when I was young i'd shower with my guy friends and even do paintings of my friends naked (they would pose for) doing one of these paintings was even how i met my fiance who ive been with for 10 years, at one point I used this skill to become a traveling art teacher. In this current relationship I used to have threesomes frequently with a female friend of ours who we would take on little dates etc. this was roughly 8 years ago It was like I was dating 2 women (my fiance is bi) this lasted about a year before she moved. I've had friends who tried to emulate and copy this behaviour with disasterous outcomes (Something I feel guilty for inspiring them to do even if it turned out well for me). The reason I tell all this is because I think its a pattern of concerning behaviour there are so many more stories but in short, I've become medicated for Bi Polar and realized I've been reckless with the people around me and that most likely I didn't just paint naked men shower with them for fun and hell flirt with them voraciously because I think im being funny but because I have an honest sexual attraction to men aswell as women. Ever since ive started taking medication things have clarified for me I have a good high paying job now, i'm more careful with peoples emotions, im more trustworthy, I finally popped the question, and one of the most confusing things coming from no longer going through the high highs of manic bipolar to the low lows of depressive bipolar. Is that the interest I would experience, the appreciation for men that would always seem to go away when i'd fall back into depression remained once I was balanced on medication. If anything when i stopped being afraid and shameful about my own thoughts (I was raised very religious and in a very homophobic environment exploring my own sexuality in that way was not a safe option) the feelings towards men have increased. I bought my own house recently and live with my fiance and our best friend who is a gay man. I've decided that polyamory was hopefully just a phase for me and that it's something I won't return to that it was me who made those past choices but hopefully the current improved me is different. But past situations are coming up again. Recently while we were all basically black out drunk my gay roomate made sexual advances towards me with alot of touching and rubbing and even though i was into it my fiance stopped it because none of us could consent to something like that with how mind alteringly drunk we were. Before this and since this my fiance has been sending me memes and jokes that are along the lines of "I'd love to play dnd (dungeons and dragons) with a polyamorous group i think the sexual tension would make the game more fun, Ill kiss them all if i have to" or memes about a girls boyfriend having a boyfriend because their like cats and you should get another one to keep the other one entertained while your gone. I've talked to her about this and whether this is something she wants and i think she has alot of guilt and self doubt about it to. She has always sexualized men on men relationships and jokes about how I should work out more to attract another guy but the conversation can devolve from this is something she and I might both be willing to try to I'm a feral bisexual demon who can't be trusted around anyone and will break everyones hearts. Lately I've had alot of heart to heart conversations with my gay roomate and my fiance and it seems like the truth is she is scared of me breaking her and my bestfriends heart and I've told him her and my thoughts and concerns and he's kinda just like im not super into disecting everything but if the moment felt right again it could happen. It seems like everyone would be willing with everyone sharing equal amounts of fear and self doubt me included but I fear i'm repeating past behaviour. I think i'm more capable of navigating emotions while medicated now but I think I'd just be happy aswell keeping my gay friend a friend and keep progressing my relationship as normal with my fiance. But both them and my friends keep tempting me or trying to convince me. People will assume the 3 of us are a polyamorous couple and when I tell them we are not they will basically say well why not? and I don't always have a good reason without telling them what I've just told you which is a deeply personal and private story. So as someone who has read my deeply personal and private story am I just a bisexual disaster who can't be trusted should someone like me even come out of the closet or would it bring shame to bisexuals everywhere with my careless ways? Did this post leave you with any questions? I'd be happy to answer. Im seeking advice, counseling and just also wonder what your similar experiences may be?

Ok so l'm 17 dating a bi gay 18 it's been 3 months so far he's great kinda of annoying but Yk how relationships are anyway... on our first date he said he was bi I said okay he went on saying his dad thought it was stupid of him and I said it's okay I know I kinda of overlooked it fast forward I was on the phone and he's playing a game with his friends in an Xbox party chat i asume he was talking to his old friends and I guess they asked him if he was bi he said yeah I didn't question it but I overlooked it again moving on yesterday night we were talking and he said in the third person my girlfriend doesn't know I'm bi i said I know he was like oh then I said I am too... Now on me When I was younger I did question my sexuality I was never into like makeup or nails or girly things I would always play video games and pick the boy characters I wouldn't say I'm opposed to dating girls half of my family even thought I was gay lol But I would do boyish things.. I think girls are attractive I mean everyone has male and female celebrity crushes I feel like I have more women crushes then men even girls in my grade like the "studs or gay girls" | find attractive because they are really pretty or nice looking. Due to me being my first relationship I never not see myself dating a girl l like them both but I see myself leaning towards men because I'm in a relationship with one if I was not I think I'd still be 50/50 about both of them. Even as like a kid I'd watch videos on YouTube on how woman would transition into men and be interested in that I guess I grew out of that phase of wanting to be a guy but l don't know I'm still young now enough about me more on him lol.

I love him and I don't want to judge him so I told my friend about it asking for advice on weather I should question him more he told me he's been bi for two to three years now l'm not homophonic I definitely done my research on being with a bi guy and I get it but just knowing like you like them both is uh idk yet lol maybe I'm a bit of an asshole for that but he's still young but I can't help but to question if he would like leave me for a guy but it's like he's also can cheat on me and leave me for a girl... and if you prefer men over women he had previous relationships with two woman before me but I just need some advice on what to do I don't want to leave him because I love him a lot and we're always joking about marrying each other but then again many guys who come out as gay or bi in married relationships fail because he chooses to go the other way. Many bi guys say they are bi then would choose men over girls I don't want to sound like an asshole but just date men if you're into them 95% Yk what I mean..? I want to be open and ask those dumb and stupid questions so is it wrong to ask?? my friend said no it's rude but I don't want it to come off that way because if you're bi you're bi l'm not gonna tell you on who you want to be I just want a relationship where that you love me for me not saying he's gonna cheat or leave me it's just I want you to be happy in the relationship and having the regret of not dating a guy I want to ask him if you ever had feelings for close friend or when did you have feelings for guys?

The conversation from last night I said I was bi too but I don't really want to label my sexuality but I would date a girl he said l'd let you have sex with one I immediately said no because that's basically cheating I told him about a story on how a bi women told her boyfriend about her being bi and she asked is it okay if I can have sex with a girl her boyfriend said yeah she broke up with him being a bi girl is overlooked alot because no one cares "or it's seen as hot seeing woman on women" I said it doesn't matter what gender you are cheating is still cheating doesn't matter the gender if both parties don't have consent and just because I like girls doesn't mean I'm gonna have sex with one And I'm dating you it's literally cheating.

I hope all this makes sense l'm a bit illiterate BUT I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD GET THE GIST PLUS IM IN SCHOOL TYPING THIS LOL

We were walking around getting a couple of things for her house and talking about Christmas and she said 'I don't want to spend one more Christmas without you, will you be my gf?'

I think I actually squealed out loud before saying yes. I know it's wayyh too early for the one talks but she really feels like that right now. Hopefully I won't be eating my words in a few months.

Sooo yeah I just wanted to pop somewhere and share my excitement. Oh, and also, how do I tell her I won't actually be in the country this Christmas?