My (now) ex (M27) and I (F27) split up, relatively out of nowhere after our first holiday together, because he said he is questioning his sexuality and thinks he can only love men. I didn’t know about this. I only knew that he also felt attracted to men but had never experienced anything with men.

His reaction was impulsive on our holiday when we were enjoying the sunset. Our relationship was beautiful. We were compatible mentally and sexually. We spent time together every day. The communication was also always good, or so I thought. I couldn’t believe it. From that moment on, I was just crying. We drove back to the hotel, and I decided to leave and go somewhere else (where I met friends) to enjoy my holiday alone.

Later, he contacted me a lot, saying it was impulsive, just that he is confused about his sexuality. I felt empathy, so I didn’t cut him off completely. When we got back home, he became super depressed. I talked to him, and he made me understand his confusion. He feels sexually and mentally attracted to me but also to men, saying that lately (or because of our serious relationship), he felt like he needed to start dating men to understand himself better, as he never had before. I was hurt, but I understood.

The breakup at first was easier for me than I thought because of all the pain I had already digested on holiday, knowing there is nothing I can do if he is questioning his sexuality. Two months later, it turned out that I was the only one starting to date again and being open to it. He didn’t meet any men nor was he trying to figure himself out. He realized what he had lost and tried to come back into my life. We talked a lot, and I tried to understand him better. We made out again, fell in love again, even more. He felt safe because I now knew about his same-sex attraction. He felt seen and authentic. He started saying that he loves me and that he has never been so close to someone, that I am the most important person in his life, etc.

One month in, he started making comments about his sexuality again. He told me sometimes he feels more gay, some days more straight. He opened up about feeling “a small” attraction to a work colleague once he accepted himself, and generally more to men, since he accepted himself. I freaked out. It made me feel uncomfortable. He said: yes, but that’s my truth.

We came to the conclusion that we had to go separate ways for him to start dating men. He said that he needs to figure out if he is more into women or men, even saying: maybe I feel more authentic with a man. It hurt me extremely. I cried a lot. I said that I need no contact because I can’t continue listening to his journey and seeing him romantically. Still, he said that I will always stay important to him and that he wants to stay important in my life too.

We started hanging out like friends. I called him “my gay bestie,” but the attraction was still there. We started making out again and again. He said that he never had such good sex before and believed that he was more “demisexual,” telling me that he questioned his sexuality also because of sex, but with me, it was amazing and the best of his life. It made everything difficult for me.

We agreed on staying together until March because I would travel to Brazil and he to Japan. But before that, in December, I was suffering as he rubbed under my nose “yeah, I feel a small attraction for this one work colleague” and “yes, I feel like I am generally more attracted to men than to women (also including you).” He then started saying that he believes he is more attracted generally to men than to me(!). I freaked out. Later, he said that it wasn’t right, that he just sometimes feels like he is lying to himself when he is with me, which is why he says these hurtful comments. I said if he continues, we have to go separate ways, even if it’s a way of accepting himself: it hurt me.

He didn’t want to lose me. He tried to treat me better, made small gestures, gave me presents, invited me for dinner, cooked for me, etc. He even invited me to the Christmas party of his workplace and introduced me to all his important work colleagues. He was quite proud to show me off, it seemed. I felt important. I felt safe.

Just the next day(!), he came home with flowers and a card, telling me: we need to break up, this is unfair to you, and I feel inauthentic being with you, even if I love you, even if you are the most important person to me. I cried and screamed so much I woke the whole neighborhood up. This was torture. He changes his opinion every day. I told him: if you do this, you break my trust again.

We went our separate ways, but he didn’t stop texting me. He realized again what he lost. He sent me messages about feeling the loss, understanding the loss, not being able to stop talking to me, that I am his family, his home, that he never loved someone like me, that it hurts him deeply that we will not stay important in each other’s lives. I was so mad. It was his decision, without communication, without deciding together what’s best. I felt like he stabbed me in the back and now wanted to come back… again.

I started insulting him, writing him ugly messages, becoming aggressive, and showing my ugliest side. I was mentally at my limit. I felt abused.

Three weeks later, we had to meet up for his clothes which he left at my place. As soon as we met, the heat was gone, as if nothing happened. We hugged, were extremely gentle with each other, and said our apologies. He explained why he did what he did: I didn’t want to make you suffer further, not until March, and I need to do my part.

We ended up sleeping together again. Meeting each other every day again. Fuck. Where is my dignity? Is this love? Or is it addiction? Yes, I do love him. But… I realized that he already lost respect for me because I forgave him so fast. He started not communicating correctly, saying “yeah, but you know I prefer men.”

“Over me too?”

“Yes, that’s just the truth.”

I couldn’t bear it. Once, he told me on the phone that he had opened up to his friends. I congratulated him on his coming out. But he phrased it in a very unclassy way: “I told them that I prefer men.” It hurt me. I felt diminished. I felt not valued and disrespected. He has never been with a man, not even on a date. How can he compare me to the whole male generation with my persona?

I realized I have to break this cycle. I said that I need to block him, that I am becoming depressed, that this is too much.

He then wrote me emails about: let’s discuss this together, I love you, etc., etc., etc. We discussed, but stayed in touch. Two days later, again, bad communication. I felt diminished. I really tried to stay respectful, but I feel that, after all the hurt he caused me, I am above him. He must treat me well if he wants to stay in my life. So, I insulted him and completely spiraled…

So here I am, realizing I am in a toxic cycle. I thought that we could remain friends in the future because of his sexuality, but I am not sure if that could ever work. I feel disrespected, and I freak out for the smallest reasons. I feel like I have lost my dignity. He tries to be nice, he wants to stay a support or a friend in my life, he hates that I want to go no contact. But what else can I do?

Update: he said that he never dated a man and even if he loved me: “dating random men” and going on alls is rn more important than losing me, bc before being able to commit to me or anyone in the future, he needs to understand himself better and he said he can only understand himself better if he dates men. Does that make sense? He claims I am the most improtant person and he loves me? How can this make sense.. like there would be a compromise? Or? Could u pls let me know your thoughts?

For coming out: I was extremely understandable, I have a friend who was outed as a homosexual man but had a girlfriend after (9years now) and who sees himself as bisexual now, they suggested to meet and talk bc he always wanted to stay.. I bought him a book with exercises, we were watching educational videos together, he went to a lgbtq meet up to meet people and and has a male gay friend he regularly can talk to (he said he can’t relate as he feels atttaction also to women and his friend not )

The fact that he said “dating random men” is important to “understand himself” and more important to lose me, it kills me .. is it normal to act as he does bc of confusion? Is this somehow excusable ?

So pretty sure I might be bi. I'm 24m but only now starting to discover my sexuality. But the trend pretty much is during the bi-cycle, when I'm in "straight mode" I pretty much want to be some jacked bodybuilder type, but when I'm in "gay mode" I'm the exact opposite and want to be as feminine as possible.

Its like when I'm "straight" I am considering trt, but when I'm "gay" I'm considering estrogen lol

How the hell can I try to balance this?

So I think I’m straight but I like anal I’m physically attracted to women but I liked being fucked not really interested in men but wouldn’t mind getting dominated would love to have a pegger but see a lot of mixed reviews on women liking men who like butt play

Most of the people who say they are bisexual here don't seem sincere to me. After talking to them, most turn out to be lesbians and don't accept that I am also attracted to men. Both orientations are completely natural, and sure, maybe they aren't always experienced at the same time, but there are millions of people who do experience both. If the person you marry or your partner is not uncomfortable with it, then it can absolutely be lived.

What do you think?

I’ve been wondering about this for a while: if, as a male (or at least I thought I was straight), I find certain male manga/anime characters really attractive, does that mean anything about my sexuality?

Like, I have little interest in real-life guys, but when I read manga or watch anime, I can find some male characters hot, especially those who are rather have a "twink-like appearance". I don’t mind imagining pretty… explicit scenes with them. Yet, it doesn’t really cross my mind with real guys.

Are there others who feel the same way? Does it “count,” or is it just some kind of exception because it’s fiction?

idk what to do. been with my boyfriend for 6+ years. does anyone ever wonder what life would be like with a woman instead?

my sex life was dead then I started to pretend that my boyfriend has a vagina when we are dry humping and its back…

am I just a lesbian??? I love my boyfriend and our life together is amazing he is the best person and boyfriend ever but I can stop my brain from thinking about what if Im a lesbian???

I have ocd … HELP

Hey so i thought id post on here because like all of my friends are straight and I’ve literally only dated guys. I mean I’ve kissed girls and made out with them but that’s as far as i have ever gotten. For the past few months I’ve realized that maybe my attraction to girls is maybe not just wanting to look like them? I always was like no I’m straight i just wanna look like her but i literally cannot help but like want to try to get with a girl so bad. I don’t even know where to even go with that as i live in the south and i really don’t know that many girls that are into other girls and also I’d feel bad bc i feel like im bi curious and don’t wanna mess with a girl that has a label bc i thought that the community didn’t like that. I don’t know, I’m kinda rambling but i just don’t know how to figure out if im actually into girls or not and navigate those feelings.

I’ve only once thought I would be into girls and that’s when me and this girl started working around the same time at the same place, when I saw her I was really attracted to her to the point every time I would be out on the same station it would make me nervous and I’d screw everything up. I wanted to make a move but my friend told me I wasn’t her type, which was fine as I left it at that. I’ve started working at a new store now and I have a manager who looks almost identical to her, just a few years older and she’s lesbian. I think I really like her she’s so nice and I’ve spoken to some of her friends at work and they’ve told me to go for it. From our first shift together I instantly found her attractive, before finding out she was into girls. Since then, I’ve been acting the same as I used to 2 years ago when I had a crush on my other co worker, being nervous around them and shy to start conversation unless spoken to. I’ve been thinking if I actually see a future with her as I don’t want to lead her on, knowing I will never actually end up with a woman and I realised if things go well with me and her I really could see a future for us. Ive watched lesbian porn just to see if lesbians sex would be something I’d be into as I’ve never watched 2 girls, but after watching it I found I actually was into it. I want to make a move but not only is she a manager and 3 years older than me I’m very confused about my sexuality. However, I very am still attracted to men.

So after a deep talk with my best friend I kinda started feeling like maybe I am bi. So I have a year from when I first meet him and started being friends and I don't know how I got yo the point of me acting gay around him. After some time, in october, I started searching for a girlfriend and many things happened but from then I started saying, as a joke, that I am bi just because he exists and that if I where to be a girl I would be his girlfriend. After a while, like this week, I started realizing that maybe I am bi and after a deep talk with him, where I found out he has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) I offered to help him stay stable and I kinda started feeling like I kinda love him and not really in a bro way. Also I had an idea for a love story where I am the girl and he is the guy andI try to put him back together. I now don't know what to do because I have a girlfriend and don't want to brake up with her and I don't know what he would tell but I will tell him that now I am seriously bisexual. 😭

The husband (M 42) of my friend (F, 40) is touching my legs under the table. First I thought it was a mistake and I pulled my leg away.

The Second time I decided to leave my leg where it was and he kept his next to mine. He didn’t seem to notice the physical contact.

The third time I decided to move a bit and he did the same, now I understand that it was intentional.

My girlfriend never told me anything about their private life. I’m sure she is not aware of his actions. What should I do? Should I talk to the guy or should I inform my friend?

Ok, so some guy tried to start chatting to me with the idea of being a friend. Switched the conversation to the possibility of dating half way through. I reciprocated in flirting, but now I feel bad. Now I'm back to feeling like I just accepted it because I was lonely, because the moment he vanished I felt gross.

Sorry if this is offensive. I've never posted in bisexuality communities before. Feel pretty weird about this. For context, I'm male and primarily attracted to women.

i had sex with a guy, it’s not like i was attracted to his looks or anything but still i HAD sex with him. i 100% like femboys but this guy wasn’t a femboy he was a full on guy with no feminine features to him at all. am i more gay than i thought?

I’ll start off by saying I’m not gay/bi or anything, I’m straight and I’m a dude. I’m using a burner account for obvious reasons

Pretty recently I went to a party and I got extremely blackout drunk. Apparently I hooked up with a very feminine looking guy, I think they’re called twinks? Not sure. I only know this because I was told by the guy. I barely remember anything let alone flirting and fucking this dude. I was told by the guy and it horrified me, because I know I’d never do it sober.

Not sure if I’m questioning my sexuality because I’ve never been attracted to men, now I don’t wanna get drunk around guys anymore because who knows if this is a one off thing or if I turn gay or bi when drunk?

My wife (44f) me (45m). Dated shortly in HS. Hooked up in our 20’s. Started dating again in our mid 30s & here we are 10 years later, married with a 7 year old. Been friends & many mutual friends foreverx She told me that she was bi before we started dating again in our 30s & it really was no shock at all tbh. But she had never had an actual experience with another woman. I have experimented, but I don’t wish to anymore & despite those experiences, I don’t consider myself bisexual. I experimented, fun. Not attracted to men at all. Just had fun with the sexual aspect. Not interested anymore.
Anyways. After our kid was born & we really had to get serious about life and as we got older we started to discuss our sex life more. She wanted to pursue her sexuality. She is my best friend and although I would never want to lose her! I want her to have have the life she wants. All of her dreams & her true love! If she falls in love with a woman, I still want us to be friends & parents together. So I encouraged her to explore herself & she went on a date. They had fun, a kiss on the cheek, they still talk 2/3 years later, but nothing ever happened there. She has been on Tinder forever but I don’t think she really pursues anything. I try to stay out of it. About a year ago on a random Wednesday night…she tells me there is an older woman she had been talking to & she would just like to go over to her house, have a drink & get it over with! Okay 🤷‍♂️😂 I stay home, me & the kiddo. Please lmk you are safe. She eventually comes home when we are both in bed sleeping. She says they fucked. Good for you! A year later & I honestly think she is lying to me. I really never cared whether they did or not! It doesn’t turn her on to tell me, I’m not interested enough to ask her if it doesn’t. She is very liberal & even wanted to come out as Bi on Facebook. I was okay with that as well, but…I did express how our family, our kids friends parents, our co workers, ect. Yada yada. We are unfortunately going to be asked a lot of questions by a lot of ignorant people & people we love. The next day she agreed. I felt bad because I want her to be her! So I’m in! But a lot isn’t adding up. She just hasn’t told me anything much how the night went. She only talked to the woman she waited her whole life to have her first experience with but maybe once afterwards. She has many gay friends. Very outspoken. Would she lie about that because she so wants to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community? Does she only claim that happened because it in some way “validates” her stance? She does like to watch lesbian pornography. But she doesn’t pursue anything with a woman really anymore. Would she lie about that encounter to me? And if so, why?

I am a bisexual man, I don't feel comfortable having sex with a woman if I don't tell her first that I am bisexual, many of them when I tell them they don't want to have sex with me! So am I lying to them?

Good evening,

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a few months and she has always accepted that she is bisexual. (We are 23 and this is the first time for both of us dating someone)

Except that a few days ago she told me that she no longer wanted to continue our relationship because she has difficulty projecting herself with a man, that she still feels attracted to girls and that She may not be ready to be in a relationship.

She added that every time she said she was attracted to me it wasn't a lie, that she really was, that she really loved me. That it comes and goes, that she doesn't know why.

So I find myself lost, I don't know what to think about it, because for my part I have the feeling that we fall in love with a heart more than with a body and I wonder if what she means to me said is not linked to another reason, such as doubts or fear of commitment which can lead him to suddenly no longer feel anything for me. Or maybe I'm wrong and some people have this need for strong and constant physical attraction.

Thank you for your opinions! ❤️

I didn’t find out I was bi until I was 18/19 and haven’t had any dating experiences only ever kissed women before in clubs etc.. I was super nervous to the point I was going to cancel, but I chose not to let my anxiety win again!

Let me tell you, it was such a good day out! We only went a walk but all we did was talk and got on really well, no awkward moments like I thought there would have been because of my social anxiety! She’s really pretty and definitely my type (fem for fem).

She wants to see me again SOON! We are planning to have a drink next time, do you think I need to tell her my previous dating experiences? (Haven’t dated a woman)? I also couldn’t pick up if she found me attractive or not? If she liked me in that? I guess so if she wants to see me again? lol I’m so new to this can you tell?😂

I’m meeting a friend later for stuff and it’ll be my first time bottoming. I’ve used toys like dildos before but didn’t find it that interesting. Is there anything I should be expecting to do it right and make it feel good? Any advice would be appreciated.

uh so i am a female and have fem features, I try my best to dress like decently dude-like to my closet's extent but i still wanna look/seem more masc n manly, if u guys have any tips! :)

It started off as a one off thing, however now I can’t stop wanting to wear panties. What are peoples opinions on this, girls would you let you bf wear panties?

Hi ocean 27G have friend sun 26G Girl and Moon 26G Girl i dont like to have a friend because of trust issue until I meet them and I open my world to them.one day i discovered that i like sun but i hide it because i value my friendship.one day moon discovered my feeling to sun and she told to sun but I denied because I dont want to lost them.until moon never talked to me. Do you think I make the right decision to hide it and protect my friendship or it selfish decision?

I am a bisexual, but I'm much more attracted to girls than I am to men. I live in India, I want to be in a relationship. I don't know how to approach women or talk to them, wanna put myself across as someone they can kiss and not a friend. Can you give me some advice as how I can approach or be approachable to women? On dating apps, I never match with women, please give me some pointersss

I have a colleague who I am in college with, and when we were in college her then boyfriend and I were nearly perfect strangers. Eventually she graduated- he ended up coming to my college- and we kinda hit it off. I have NO idea if he is bi, but there’s some stuff I just can’t get out of my head.

When we had met for the second time this was shortly after they had broken up. I was getting a drink from the water fountain which is right by a flight of stairs leading to the bottom floor- I think he was being funny- but he grabbed my leg hiding in the staircase walked out having successfully pranked me and just gave me a hug. He kinda backpedaled and said “sorry I don’t know you that well yet- my bad” I told him it was fine and brushed it off.

Since then our conversations have been relatively few- but last night I dreamt about him. It was “one of those” and holy shit. Now I know in that dream I’m technically attracted to my own brain- but I’m awake now and those feelings for him are there. Every time I talk to him he’s genuinely so sweet to me in a way I don’t see him being sweet to other people. As far as I know he isn’t openly bi but I don’t really know how to ask without embarrassing myself. I felt that way before the dream. But after I feel like ignoring it is gonna damage my mental health.

How should I go about figuring out his orientation subtly and then gauging again whether or not he is in to me?

Note: I am autistic so that’s why all this is particularly difficult/confusing.

May Chance Bless You, Azrael

My name is Flash, 20M. He/They. All the good stuff.

This is the result of 8+ years of gay jokes and unrestricted internet access turning into genuine attraction towards my type of men and women. How is everyone so hot sometimes.