Hello dear reader. I am aware that not everyone on the Internet is kind and English is often an offensive language that can be misconstrued but I am asking from the deepest places in my mind for some real assistance in clarity.

To preface I am nonbinary amab, I changed my iD and have been "out" for like 10 years in various groups of people and now it's just well know despite my very masculine and unedited appearance. I am panromantic and have an extreme phallophobia. The visual representation of the genitalia is just very unpleasant. I don't have a physical visceral reactions as I have experienced much from s.assult to gun violence. but internally, internally I have such a gut wrenching reaction to seeing and or experiencing others and sometimes my own genitalia.

The question I have is how do I communicate this to up and coming partners without seeming homophobic? I date trans men all the time. I have spoken to trans women and wanted to pursue platonic engagements but have been met with waves of shaming and guilt tactics such as saying I am denying my own feelings, I haven't tried with the right person, that I'm a chaser, the list could indeed go on but those are plenty to send me back into a hole.

I have a loving partner who is also enby and they are accepting of my autosexuality and asexual engagement with sex being more a task to complete rather than a fulfilling engagement. Like yes, I want you to cum, but unless I know what you like I am winging it. When I learn what you like I began filling the order. I'm not likely to switch it up as many if not all of my partners have scars from assault and surprises have triggered full on cry sessions while I am inside them. Which causes a full stop and then care need be doled out appropriate levels.

I love love love trans men because I feel like they represent the yang to my yin but I'm more in the middle than I care to be some days. Trans women have been respectful to an extent but still get pushy when. It starts getting around sex or kissing. I simply don't feel anything from those activities with those bodies when I have leaned in to experiment. If I could parable, it is like when black people say their is no seasoning in white cooking. When I am engage with people whom have phallic members there is no "seasoning", you know what I mean?

Any who I want what everyone else wants, love.

I asked this on lex last year and got attacked in the Portland server...

Doing my best to find appropriate levels of communication so I and the person(s) I am attracted to can have mutual engagement.

This is mostly to educate myself and see if I have any bias or lack information and say incorrect things.

If you start hormone therapy at 12-13 years old, it means you've likely been in therapy for about 2 years to figure out what was going on. This implies that you started the process around the age of 9 or 10. Now, considering you started talking at 5 years old, you would only have 5 years to question what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman, and understand who you are—all at the age of 10. In any case, taking into account the risks, therapy should ideally begin between 13 and 15 years old, followed by hormone blockers. Therefore, the term "trans childhood" seems counterproductive and alarming. Maybe "trans adolescence" would be a better term?

I apologize if you frequently come across posts like this, but this is a sincere question, and I’m sharing these ages in a somewhat subjective way.

Is it wrong to just want to be comfortable in my own skin without passing as a cis woman? I hear all the time about the question of passing? Is it really important that I do, or should I not focus on it as as transition.

Hey y’all I wanted to just get some stuff off my chest because right now my headspace is iffy and I’m feeling like I’m faking being trans. I was talking to myself and watching videos about others talking about their experiences. But realizing I was trans when I was an adult kind of made me feel like I am being fake since I hear people talking about finding out they were trans when they were children. I had some experiences as a kid that might have been signs of being trans like asking myself as far as I can remember what it would be like to be a the opposite gender. Then later on in middle school when I wrote with friends I felt more connected with a female character that I created than any of the male ones. Then I would refer to myself as being two women in mind and soul but a man in body that I would refer to as a husk. In high school I took up more hobbies that were considered traditionally feminine and it made me happy more than anything and wearing feminine clothes would bring me tons of joy. Same with wanting to be the one having children or doing traditionally motherly things with a child. But now I just refuse to make eye contact with myself, I feel numb looking at people with traits that I would love to have and my emotions barely come out at all except for extreme circumstances. I’ve talked to my partner about it and she says my feelings are valid but idk something in my mind just cries out I’m fake. If you guys have any advice or anything it would be appreciated. I hope y’all have a great rest of your day.

So I am fully out now, and it’s great. The thought of going back scares the crap out of me. Since transitioning, Everything is so much more raw (both positive and negative emotions). I no longer feel detached or like I’m just watching myself live life.

However, I do still have days where I doubt myself, or feel like an imposter. While other days I feel incredibly confident and like I am finally who I was always supposed to be. While I don’t feel bad when people use my preferred name and pronouns, I do often feel self conscious, and almost like I am asking a favor. It’s also just so jarring sometimes because it’s still new and I often don’t feel very feminine. Sometimes when people use my preferred pronouns, I simply feel more aware of my masculine traits. This triggers my ocd to give me intrusive thoughts that maybe my dysphoria is actually the other way around, that I actually secretly hate being a girl, with thoughts like “my dysphoria is worse now that I’ve transitioned so I must actually be a guy”. I will then feel compelled to think about or run to a mirror to look at my feminine features as reassurance. Probably not the healthiest pattern. I know deep down that I want this, but it can been very disorienting when this spiral happens.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this, especially early in transition, or does anyone have any advice?

My egg cracked about 4 months ago, and I'm a little lost as to how to proceed from here. Everything I've read says to start with a gender therapist. Information from my insurance provider says to start with my primary care provider, but the earliest appointment I was able to get with them is still over a month away. I haven't had much luck contacting individual therapists ('not taking new patients' is pretty common) and I'm wary of the online referral services like BetterHelp based on the reviews I've seen. Any helpful advice?

I have two daughters. My oldest is 17 AMAB. She is pretty early in her transition. Name. Pronouns. Growing out hair. Starting to wear skirts. And playing with makeup. I understand that my other daughter has been playing with makeup since 5 years old. So my oldest is so awkward and honestly terrible at makeup and dressing by comparison. How can I help and not insult her. And also not get too involved in her journey.

I can't find the old webpage with details for trans passengers. Instead I'm finding a short paragraph that seems like it's all but guaranteed well get pat downs every time.

"The advanced imaging technology used to screen passengers has software that looks at the anatomy of men and women differently. If there is an alarm, TSA officers are trained to clear the alarm, not the individual. This process ensures every individual is screened effectively according to procedures prior to entering the secured area of an airport. You may request private screening or to speak with a supervisor at any time during the screening process"

i have some more femme clothes but not like a crazy amount is there any clothes that are better bodies after estrogen fat distribution? i also heard that due to the softening of skin its better to use more sunscreen and stuff is there a specific spf? finally i heard that breast growth is super painful is that true?? im abit worried abut that haha. anyways one more appointment before estrogen!

I've read that organizations were going to sue everywhere possible - has anyone action been taken yet against the executive orders?

This is a subreddit to celebrate that getting older means we are still alive. We acknowledge the pains of our past, and share how we have dealt with them. We share the joys and challenges of today. We wonder about our future.

No selfies asking how we look or what facial surgery we should have or do I pass. Please do them elsewhere.

It's a private group. I want to keep the uglies out.

r/TransPositive55Plus

Hi, I've got a nephew who's transgender and is absolutely scared because of who is now U.S. President. I just left his parent's house, and he was almost in tears about what might happen. I gave him the warmest hug I could, and honestly wish that I could do more. I wanted to reassure him that everything will be all right but even I don't even know for sure. I've 100% supported him during his realization that he wasn't a she, and now he's considering going back to his government name because of everything. Is there anything I can do to help other than what I've done already?

I (ftm) started on lupron at age 12 and soon after I noticed my hair was starting to fall out. No receding hair line or bald spot, just diffuse thinning on my entire scalp.

I was on lupron until about 15, came off for a year to see if my hair would improve (it didn't ) and then went on zoladex until I was 17. I'm turning 20 this week and my hair still hasn't grown back :( it fucking sucks so much and I haven't come across any other people who this happened to, except for adults who were only on blockers for a few months for health reasons.

I seriously hate this so much and feel like blockers weren't worth it cause I still fucking grew tits in the end :( Wtf it's so unfair

I’m enby, amab, and live in Massachusetts, so I feel relatively safe. Early last year I updated my ID to a “Real ID” and changed my sex marker to “x”. I didn’t really have to do any special legal work or anything, the lady at the window just looked at me to confirm and we went about our day. Fast forward to now, I feel like that is a danger to me if I leave the state, so I’d like to back pedal a bit. I feel like a coward about it, but I’d rather feel like a coward in the fight than behind bars.

I have an appointment at the RMV to address this, but I’m concerned that undoing this will be far more complex than having it done initially. Will I have to get court orders to change my ID back to M? I’m hoping I can sort of argue this was a clerical mistake with proof from my other documents that all still have my “m” on it. Anyone have similar experience? Probably not.

I’ll update as I go.

Edit/update:

I was rear ended on my way to the appointment, so I haven’t been able to complete the process yet ✌️ Is it a sign? Maybe. Will I listen? Stay tuned!

I have a trip coming up and I have my gender marker updated but not my name. I still presenting masculine at the moment (trans woman), so between presentation and my name they'll recognize my ID change. Has anyone traveled since the executive order? Any ideas what the risks are?

NSFW - Language used near the end of the post.

I'm familiar with the EO Trump signed about the two biological sexes. I also know a little bit about using bathrooms as assigned at birth in the Capitol...I think that's what it was.

In public places (aside from schools), do some states have that bathroom law in place? If not, do you think some will impliment it?

My biggest question comes down to... If those kinds of laws get set in place, I would imagine there would be an uproar about trans people in the "correct biological bathroom." Ex: trans man using a women's bathroom, vise versa. Of course, there would be non binary issues too.

If that kind of law is in place, how would it be enforced? By having "not passing" trans people be singled out? Would there be dick checks at the door? Or "lack of dick" checks? There are so many passing trans people, so how would they really know? I respectfully acknowledge you don't have to pass, do HRT, etc. in order to be trans. I guess that adds to the problem and my questions.

hiiii so i'm a minor with sensory issues and i recently got my first binder from underworks and it works great, but i can't wear it max 5 hours without getting overstimulated. One of my favorite youtubers (iris olympia) recommended for people with sensory issues to try the wonababi zip up binder. The reviews are great, and i think this would be a great option for me, especially at school so during gym i can just slip it off or if im wearing something baggy enough just unzip it under my shirt if i get too overstimulated. But im still skeptical because of the bad things i've heard about zip up and clasp binders.

Trans femme person here. Can I please get help with name ideas that are related to my birth name of Charles Alexander. I've always been known as Alex. Never felt Charles fit me.

Thanks

Hello all,

I know there are various types of bottom surgery procedures and I was curious if there were videos showing the depth of the different types of surgeries.

I know a lot depends on ones physical anatomy and what the doctor has to work with. But, I wanted to see visual examples to weigh the options for myself.

Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.

So, long story short-ish, I'm at a point in life where I could use some help, any help, advice...anything.

Yes, it's the same as most but I had a great childhood, although not perfect, can't complain one bit. Ever since a young age, I went through all phases...from rap, to Marilyn Monroe/goth, to working in the professional sports business, more specifically, golf to...now.

I've always loved girl's clothes. Looks, colors (going in to a Lily store is like going to a laser light show back in the day.

Now that I'm at this spot, literally, in life...no relationship, nothing holding me back here really, not happy, what am I doing in life? What makes me happy? I want surgery and everything. There are times, especially after I orgasm without touching myself, I ask, should I just face it, would definitely move to Vegas if the opportunity presented itself and move forward as Kylie or, stay in CIS MALE wondering what if, what if I'd have made a different decision and regret everything, only questioning what if? I need my hrt mtf meds like right now and am just a little cranky lol

In your honest opinion, am I trans? In the past, I rarely, went out in girl mode in the past. When I did, it was just for a walk. In the past few months, I've been out in girl mode, not even looking pretty and walked in a few stores, pumped gas and it felt great. Nervous as hell, even though I could probably pass enough. After orgasm, I'd feel so ashamed and immediately rinsed off the makeup, nail polish, etc, even though my body is completely shaven and smooth. Now, I still prefer to be with a female having sex. It's absolutely mind blowing. But now, I'll think about things and get all worked up, orgasm multiple times and sit for a few moments thinking about something, although tough, would eventually get over it and go back to living full time trans mtf (30's) but would still think about it. I'd love to get breast augmentation, at least a C cup, some face surgery, etc. If asked if I'd do it today, right now, absolutely. This could also be some thing that just was there all of these years and will soon pass like "ha, yeah, I'm not trans. Glad I didn't get breast surgery or anything done like a legal name change, etc...I'd move to Vegas right now no questions asked but, what about jobs? I'd work in the adult business if I can but what about hotel housekeeping or something maybe cheap pay but includes a free room or something, would that be possible being trans mtf there full time in Vegas or no chance? Is this just yet another phase in life that will pass by as I get older? Or, do I really need to seriously consider the fact that I may be, maybe possibly be trans? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Does anyone else feel this way? How do I resolve it?

While working through transitioning, I continue to learn how isolating being trans can be. Even though I have very accepting people in my life, no cis people will ever fully understand our experiences. Have any of you made local friends, and if so, how did you meet them? I'm not the kind of social person to go to a bar or anything, I very much enjoy close personal relationships and exploring hobbies together instead.

I dont want to do it on my thigh as i have alot of scars from self harm on my thighs and I'm afraid if they see they won't give me testosterone

Hii this is kinda a weird question, but I’m wondering for people who’ve been on T and also play dnd or similar role play games, how has that been for voicing the characters you voiced pre T? Can you put on a high voice for them if you try/practice?

I’m asking because I absolutely love playing role play games like dnd with my sibling and some of our characters go wayyy back so I’d be devastated to never be able to play as them again, but for my own well-being I know I need to start the process of getting on T…

I’m so much looking forward to the voice drop, and I do have other characters who I’d be able to voice better! But I will still feel some sense of loss if I can no longer voice my cis-girl and pre T trans characters :(

Honestly the main thing that stresses me out is the unpredictably. So I guess my main question is just after your voice dropped were you still able to put on a more girly voice if you tried?

Ty to anyone who helps <3

That's the question folks. For those that have had surgery how much depth did you get in relation to the length of your penise.

Just got my first stp and am having probably the right amount trouble figuring it out, but just wondering if any heavier trans guys also have a hard time stping? I haven't even gotten to using it with boxers on yet cause I keep pissing myself lol. Any tips on placement or how to make sure my anatomy is in the cup properly is appreciated, my stp is the joe 3.0 from prosthesis man (HK)